Relationship Scientist REVEALS 3 CLEAR SIGNS He'll CHEAT (Don’t Miss THIS RED FLAG!) | Macken Murphy

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Lewis Howes

Lewis Howes

Күн бұрын

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Today we welcome the inspiring Macken Murphy. Macken isn't just a behavior scientist; he's a master at decoding the little things we do and say that reveal a lot about our relationships and what we're really looking for in love and life. Whether you're single, dating, or just love understanding more about the people around you, Macken's insights are going to open your eyes to the complex world of human attraction.
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0:00 Intro
00:04:03 - Men Cheat More Than Women
00:07:48 - The Benefits and Reasons for Infidelity
00:11:33 - Motives for Women to Cheat
00:15:09 - Repercussions of Non-Monogamous Relationships
00:19:02 - Undermining Society with Unemployment and Disruptions
00:22:52 - Red Flags and Infidelity
00:26:30 - Body Count and Promiscuity Stigma
00:30:30 - Women's Perspectives on Sexuality and Jealousy
00:34:07 - Overcoming Jealousy in Relationships
00:38:07 - Eliminating Jealousy in Relationships
00:42:01 - Symptoms of Romantic Love and Relationship Survival After Infidelity
00:45:53 - The Mating Crisis and Risk Reduction
00:49:48 - Extra Pair Copulation in Socially Monogamous Species
00:53:26 - Understanding the Impact of Cheating on Relationships
00:57:09 - Attracting infidelity and bad pickers
01:00:50 - Understanding Narcissism and Improving Relationships
01:04:29 - The Power of Compliments in Relationships
01:08:08 - The Downside of Being Extremely Physically Attractive
01:12:05 - The Benefits and Costs of Dating Someone Above Your League
01:16:13 - The Experience of Eating an Apple
01:19:51 - Improving Relationships and Sexual Satisfaction
01:23:42 - Living in Accordance with Your Values
01:27:53 - Embracing and Trusting the Process
#greatness #inspiration #motivation

Пікірлер: 835
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
Thanks to Macken for sharing his expertise with us! Leave a “YES” if you enjoyed this and share the biggest moment for you. And make sure to subscribe to never miss out on inspiring content like this again KZbin.com/lewishowes
@elizabethabbruzzese
@elizabethabbruzzese Ай бұрын
Thank you for this interview. As a single mom with two little ones I was just curious to know if you could please set up an interview for single moms and how they can go about finding a future husband. How to navigate through the dating life to find a husband. What qualities to look for and any other information that would be useful.
@OnyejinakaChisom
@OnyejinakaChisom Ай бұрын
I love your vast knowledge ❤ thank you sir for this
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
So glad you enjoy the channel! Thanks for being here!
@FoxcHoney
@FoxcHoney Ай бұрын
🎉YES!!❤😊
@FoxcHoney
@FoxcHoney Ай бұрын
The biggest moment for me was when the subject of trauma from betrayal came up.
@simoneelhallak4433
@simoneelhallak4433 5 күн бұрын
“Don’t expect loyalty when you don’t offer honesty “
@TheKandidKate
@TheKandidKate 27 күн бұрын
I asked a very beautiful woman what it was like to be so beautiful. She said it was lonely because people were afraid to approach her to talk with her.
@heide-raquelfuss5580
@heide-raquelfuss5580 24 күн бұрын
At the same time...she does not get harrased so much, like other women experience. It saves her horrible stress, abuse...
@dot510
@dot510 24 күн бұрын
@@heide-raquelfuss5580 But you also get dismissed a lot, passive agression etc. I get you though
@colettejaques2559
@colettejaques2559 23 күн бұрын
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.................
@akrossmann1631
@akrossmann1631 22 күн бұрын
What is really a challenge is being beautiful. tall, and smart! Just love life, it is purely a miracle you are alive!
@Lightenupwithlaura
@Lightenupwithlaura 21 күн бұрын
Can relate… :/
@JanetMacCallum
@JanetMacCallum 11 күн бұрын
I'm pretty sure I had PTSD (or PISD) form a major betrayal from a significant other. As much as I have sought therapy and tried to get over my trust issues it has impacted me long term. People need to think twice about leading a double life and betraying their partners.
@elizabeetle13
@elizabeetle13 8 күн бұрын
Same here. I had my heart and soul broken to pieces when I was 23 and never fully recovered. But, it hardened me in a positive way. I never got hurt again.
@DUVELINE
@DUVELINE Сағат бұрын
It is said betrayal is the worst thing you can do to another human being… I am really sorry you got hurt in such way and hope you find happiness with all the right things. Much love to those hurt 🫶🏻
@ShivaLadiva-sb9nw
@ShivaLadiva-sb9nw 24 күн бұрын
For me a major causevof cheating is lack of respect and communication cause being dishonest is being disrespectful to another person. Cheaters are dishonest people.period.
@patriciaalbertson5183
@patriciaalbertson5183 15 күн бұрын
YES. . And EGO, Constantly wanting to be worshipped...
@carenlzarate8603
@carenlzarate8603 8 күн бұрын
Yes and lack of ethic
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Ай бұрын
Thank you so much for having me on Lewis! I really enjoyed the conversation.
@deeandleaann
@deeandleaann Ай бұрын
Your insight and research are amazing and helpful. Thank you for helping me understand human behavior better. 😊
@patrick.h11t
@patrick.h11t Ай бұрын
Thank you for the information you've shared. Im looking forward to seeing more interviews of you.
@melindacollins3483
@melindacollins3483 Ай бұрын
I like how you gave more insight to the stress that is caused after being cheated on it makes so much more sense to call it post infidelity stress disorder and it has been so hard to date and fully trust someone new after being cheated on
@liznewark
@liznewark Ай бұрын
Thank you for pointing out that in order to discuss a topic you need to do substantial (over a year) of academic research
@elsbells.
@elsbells. Ай бұрын
Well done Macken. Very interesting as always.
@MayaChadalavada-nz7qg
@MayaChadalavada-nz7qg 8 күн бұрын
I did not cheat on my ex who cheated on me. Instead I filed for divorce and he was surprised 🤣. Bye bye ! Now he can cheat freely.... It has been the best decision of my life to divorce him.
@valeriajakab8112
@valeriajakab8112 7 күн бұрын
I did the same.
@EmilceMaldonadoPaul
@EmilceMaldonadoPaul 2 күн бұрын
I did the same.....freedom
@elizabeetle13
@elizabeetle13 Күн бұрын
You did him a favor! When I got divorced I told my ex now he could be as lazy and promiscuous as he wanted.
@monaissakarim7569
@monaissakarim7569 Ай бұрын
What i really really appreciate that the speaker is fair and says it when he its not his area of expertise. He doesnt pretend that he "knows" everything and has the answer's to everything.
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Ай бұрын
Thank you :)
@karolinaks4192
@karolinaks4192 Ай бұрын
Yes. It’s refreshing that an academic on a popular podcast acknowledges what is not his area of expertise . It makes him much more more credible.
@1764s1985
@1764s1985 Ай бұрын
@@murphymacken😢😢
@andreavanda5402
@andreavanda5402 29 күн бұрын
But there's way too much that he's not an "expert" in. I mean, these questions are all related to his area of study. Maybe he should familiarize himself with more.
@melgm002
@melgm002 21 күн бұрын
Why not get someone who is an expert then
@draandreadiaz6055
@draandreadiaz6055 Ай бұрын
He’s EXTREMELY careful with his opinions. LOVE IT ❤
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Ай бұрын
I'm glad!!
@gigi9301
@gigi9301 Ай бұрын
Wishy Washy Click Bait Blah
@kyliejackson-bell810
@kyliejackson-bell810 Ай бұрын
Give him 10 years and he’ll say it how it is 😂 beautiful soul though
@tuchus8781
@tuchus8781 Ай бұрын
So many woke ready to attack. He's smart
@mezlandia
@mezlandia Ай бұрын
@@gigi9301life isn’t a sure thing
@josusa1647
@josusa1647 9 күн бұрын
Btw…reason it’s so depressing is because I have a very attractive husband that I love very much and the competition is exhausting
@jarkachalmovianska7812
@jarkachalmovianska7812 Күн бұрын
He would not have married you if he would not find you attractive. Chill.
@user-vi3re9wr3o
@user-vi3re9wr3o Ай бұрын
To sin or not to sin… so many people have killed their conscience
@ladyvirgo9514
@ladyvirgo9514 23 күн бұрын
💯
@TonganJedi
@TonganJedi 16 күн бұрын
Sin is a religious concept that not everyone buys into. I certainly don't.
@ladyvirgo9514
@ladyvirgo9514 16 күн бұрын
@TonganJedi "Sin" is to error. We all do that but I agree on the Religions twisting it.
@ImKar333
@ImKar333 15 күн бұрын
​​@@TonganJediWell, we all usually know what we are about to do is wrong or right, right? You don't have to believe in sin, to be a decent human being. You just have to be humane.
@melissamilam-hw9dt
@melissamilam-hw9dt 2 күн бұрын
The idea of Sin is a fantasy. You're just an animal.
@BunnyRabit-yo3lx
@BunnyRabit-yo3lx 13 күн бұрын
Jealousy is a natural negative emotion and I believe, like anxiety, is a type of evolutionary warning signal to the body. It's only toxic if it goes unchecked.
@AniaBumba
@AniaBumba Ай бұрын
What an emotionally mature young man! Very admirable.
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
👍
@sabinekoch3448
@sabinekoch3448 Ай бұрын
Real scientific thinking- no “woke” nonsense.
@99balloons71
@99balloons71 24 күн бұрын
From what I've seen, A male having an affair is as common as weeds.
@faithrobin6124
@faithrobin6124 18 күн бұрын
@@99balloons71what do you mean?
@DjMicr0dot
@DjMicr0dot 17 күн бұрын
@@99balloons71 dear Lord where do you live lol I've never met a young man like that in Austin Texas anywhere so please explain
@SummerSnow716
@SummerSnow716 24 күн бұрын
Jealousy is not totally about insecurity; it is about the trust and communication created between the partners. If your partner doesn't help provide psychological safety, then jealousy is more pronounced. Prolonged jealousy tells you that something is wrong.
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 24 күн бұрын
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!! 🧡
@camillemanly3800
@camillemanly3800 16 күн бұрын
THIS. If there’s communication and both let it be known they love and desire their partner, then there won’t be jealousy.
@jesssc402
@jesssc402 11 күн бұрын
Lack of those things creates insecurity though
@sophine7189
@sophine7189 7 күн бұрын
​@jesssc402 EXACTLY! For the life of me I don't understand why people can't see or understand it goes right back to insecurities. Whenever you feel insecure in your relationship because of a lack of trust and communication, it causes you to feel insecure about yourself and your decision of being in this stagnant relationship. It's quite simple to understand. I'm starting to believe the problem is that people don't understand what insecure means.
@DeniseDawson-dl9wc
@DeniseDawson-dl9wc 2 күн бұрын
How true
@mlreed8929
@mlreed8929 20 күн бұрын
I know a guy who is polyamorous. He loves having relationships with several women, and he admitted he loves "a good catfight!" So he likes it when women are fighting over him, trying to compete for him. He likes seeing the jealousy. And he was full of secrets. He kept so much of himself private, so you would never get 100% of him. That was a huge red flag to me. I feel our society today has learned all this, and that is why monogamy is much better... people are loyal to one another, you share more of yourself with each other, and there is trust. Trust is the foundation of a good relationship. This builds true love and happiness. Sneaking around behind someone's back and lying to them leads to a lack of trust and, therefore, a lack of beautiful happiness. I feel that there are great blessings for those who are in a loyal, committed relationship. I'm reminded of one of the 10 Commandments - Thou shalt not commit adultery.
@tlafleur8433
@tlafleur8433 16 күн бұрын
These people here and so many like them do not even consider the 10 commandments.
@tealkerberus748
@tealkerberus748 13 күн бұрын
That's not polyamory, that's a mess. Real polyamory means communication, respect, consent, and supporting each other - not creating jealousy and conflicts.
@tealkerberus748
@tealkerberus748 13 күн бұрын
@@tlafleur8433 The ten commandments were written for a community where every man who could afford to support a second wife was expected to have one. It's not adultery to have sex with your spouse, no matter how many spouses the law allows you to have.
@Oreo-qn3lk
@Oreo-qn3lk 8 күн бұрын
Sounds like the guy you were talking about was grandiose narcissist. ❤️💜
@JillBausch
@JillBausch 16 сағат бұрын
That man is most likely a narcissist. Run away fast. They are dangerous, with the mentality of a cruel child.
@Jenergy84
@Jenergy84 Ай бұрын
Ok I listened so you guys can know... 1. Family History 2. Sexual inclinations ( whether you care if your in love or not with your partner you sleep with) 3. Body Count/ verse Age
@elisachang7393
@elisachang7393 Ай бұрын
Where does he list the three?
@Smartartin
@Smartartin Ай бұрын
Doesn’t, I had a struggle trying to sum up what was said..
@marinalovric2700
@marinalovric2700 Ай бұрын
How age has influence?
@cinderling5472
@cinderling5472 Ай бұрын
​@@dianevadino Oh :/ Thank you very much for your effort ❤
@mariabatubara6494
@mariabatubara6494 Ай бұрын
Thanks! ❤❤❤
@cece9770
@cece9770 Ай бұрын
Being more physically attractive means fewer people have any real desire to understand you as a person. There are LOTS of disadvantages actually. Especially amongst women, there tends to be more jealousy and envy leading to unwarranted hurtful behavior, ostracizing, bullying… Being more physically attractive means that you end up attracting more shallow people, which results in fewer meaningful relationships, which leads to more loneliness and depression. Men (and women) tend to assume that a beautiful person is not going to be loyal or faithful BECAUSE they assume you can’t be happy with your meal and want to sample the entire menu. Being beautiful means you are targeted more as an object to be conquered, and so we tend to be on the receiving end of more lies and deception because we’re viewed as merely a prize to be won. Beauty is and always will be a curse as far as I’m concerned. Oh and the backlash I assume is coming for first insinuating that I might believe myself to be beautiful, and then having the gall to speak negatively about the perceived advantage. How dare I? People will say it’s all for attention. The reality is that I’m lonely and depressed because no one has ever loved me for my personality. If I had a nickel for the number of times I’ve had someone tell me that they aren’t in love with me, but in love with the IDEA of being with me…
@aubz81
@aubz81 Ай бұрын
I too would have a pile of nickels. I agree, men love the IDEA of being with me, but once they get to know me... they're out. I'm 'too real', apparently. Whatever, I'll be too real and enjoy my life! (And those proverbial nickels!)
@franklydarling....7244
@franklydarling....7244 Ай бұрын
Counting even your assumptions that a person would say this to you because a majority of people DO NOT speak this way....... If you had a nickel for each time a person told you they were "in love with the idea of being with you," you would certainly have less than $20. $20 would equate to 400 people...... Let's get real.
@cece9770
@cece9770 Ай бұрын
@@aubz81 yep! I suspect it’s because they tend to put us on pedestals. An ideal they’ve built in their minds, and then when they realize we’re just regular people they are disappointed.
@cece9770
@cece9770 Ай бұрын
@@franklydarling....7244 lol it’s an expression. 🙄
@franklydarling....7244
@franklydarling....7244 Ай бұрын
@@cece9770 I was trying to be kind. After reading your "thesis" about how hard it is for you to be so attractive and viewing your profile picture, there are so many things I could make commentary on....but I digress. My entire point would be: "Get real." As in actual reality. Ma'am, you're average at best. And that is no insult. With all sincerity, I would consider it a blessing. ❤️🤗
@rosebooth9263
@rosebooth9263 29 күн бұрын
What an impressive gentleman. As a 28 year old, witnessing the level of maturity and humbleness that he possesses was refreshing. In my opinion, the smartest person in the room tends to be the person who acknowledges that they do not know everything. Excellent podcast all around. Great job Macken & Lewis!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 29 күн бұрын
🙌
@jinhub2175
@jinhub2175 15 күн бұрын
Exactly
@suzanneemerson2625
@suzanneemerson2625 8 сағат бұрын
But what’s up with the hair hat? Hmmmm…..
@StrongSingleMom
@StrongSingleMom 13 күн бұрын
When he said boyfriends do lots of nice things for you I couldn’t help but laugh
@elizabeetle13
@elizabeetle13 8 күн бұрын
Right?
@IviAndB
@IviAndB 4 күн бұрын
💯 😂😂😂
@musical1innm
@musical1innm Күн бұрын
Love bombers at the start? Run!
@nvk743
@nvk743 7 күн бұрын
“The data couldn’t be further from my heart” damn mans got his life in order
@stariadreamtea
@stariadreamtea 19 күн бұрын
Watched the entire thing. He's so engrossing and his voice + body language is hypnotic. He's quite humble and mature. Wonderful.
@MaxsMom-bv6hf
@MaxsMom-bv6hf Ай бұрын
Cheating is a stroke for the ego. Nothing more, nothing less!
@SM-qb7ce
@SM-qb7ce 29 күн бұрын
@MaxsMom-bv6hf YESSS I AGREE!!! 💯%
@bonezbaaaby
@bonezbaaaby 28 күн бұрын
BUT, it helps to know the potential underlying biological temptations so we can become aware and avoid them
@snowbird6855
@snowbird6855 27 күн бұрын
So that's another way of saying it's done by those lacking self esteem? I'm guessing yes.
@sherralieberry-majeski5972
@sherralieberry-majeski5972 27 күн бұрын
For men.
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 27 күн бұрын
I've Scanned 250,000 Brains This Is Really How Men Think and Lisa Biyeu podcast Accurate study. ( Testosterone- impulse control) Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
@SanctuaryGoodLife
@SanctuaryGoodLife Ай бұрын
I wish being a good parent and Uncle, Aunt, Cousin, sibling, friend, and Neighbor were still important for status in Western culture.
@janedoe1498
@janedoe1498 22 күн бұрын
Sociologically and psychologically (the fruit) development of the human nature moved the western concept which is good and bad yet harder but was meant... sadly
@celestialstar8115
@celestialstar8115 18 күн бұрын
This doesn’t happen in east either. Hasn’t happened in centuries
@Southernly
@Southernly 12 күн бұрын
Me too 😞
@tomigirl30
@tomigirl30 Ай бұрын
11:06 this was me. After catching my partner cheat on me 3 times the last one lasting for 2.5 years I cheated. I planned it and it was a way for me to take some control back. I then worked on financially separating our house, got plans in order then ended things. Took me over a year, but never looked back.
@rhodagunn5075
@rhodagunn5075 22 күн бұрын
Me too. When I was 24 and lived with my partner I came home and caught him in bed with someone else. It broke me. Not out of revenge, but out of desperation to try and somehow reser the balance, and like you said take control back- I thought maybe if I did it too it might be something I could then accept and move on from that he broke my trust and heart. Of course it did not work, and nothing felt repaired or better afterwards. Seems obvious now it wouldn't have, but young love and young heartbreak you're just grasping at straws sometimes. I've never cheated since and I know I won't again. Doing it back can never repair the betrayal or bring any kind of closer or healing. Just prolongs the pain I think.
@jacqueinebuss5514
@jacqueinebuss5514 9 күн бұрын
A little jealousy is something I think you have no matter what when you care about the other person.
@donnaknudson7296
@donnaknudson7296 Ай бұрын
What really is disappointing and perplexing is that one of the most spiritually and important things in life- love- depends so much on shallow things, like physical attractiveness and status. It makes no sense and I guess it's just one of the maddening things about this world. What he says about attractiveness and how people perceive and value you depends so much on that is true. I know because I have experienced both worlds. I'm a middle aged woman who used to be pretty. The thing is that I didn't even know I was pretty and frankly didn't care. But when I became middle aged I noticed major differences in the way I was regarded and perceived. This whole time when I was younger I just thought people were the way they were because they really liked who I was as a person. But I found that is not so and finding that out cuts deep.
@andreavanda5402
@andreavanda5402 29 күн бұрын
Ditto! It's quite shocking to realize at an older age how superficial most people are.
@donventura2116
@donventura2116 28 күн бұрын
Love is often shallow because at worst we are just animals and at best we may have the excuse that we are imperfect beings that can not observe our own divine nature and respect others for who they are and not what we see.
@user-yq4xm2cd7b
@user-yq4xm2cd7b 21 күн бұрын
Yep I gave almost the same reply to someone else before this. I was hot & sexy & didn't know it, & they say I was beautiful, I didn't know it. They just wanted what they could get.
@coolbreeze5683
@coolbreeze5683 19 күн бұрын
Everyone inevitably figures this out at some point in their lives and the ones who do the judging are eventually the ones who will be judged. That's how karma works in life. I've never been beautiful or sought after so I've always seen the true nature of society. I'm in my late 40s now and I'm happier now than I was when I was younger. I don't really care about people's opinions of me and I'm used to cultivating joy within myself. I have good, authentic close friends and family. I just go about my day with gratitude for what I have and leave other people to their own since their karma is none of my business
@mizum3458
@mizum3458 8 күн бұрын
​@@donventura2116I dont really understand what you said, but I easily often find a lot of things to admire about almost everyone I've met even if they're unattractive to me. Even some feminists.... Because some of them have some bits of good somewhere inside of them, like understanding how to use devices and software's I can't even grasp the knowledge of although most of them can be annoying when they get all political and overly social justice on a lot of things double standard
@andreiadetavora8471
@andreiadetavora8471 Ай бұрын
I'm a clinical psychologist (from Portugal). What a fascinating topic!! Great guest. Bright, intellectually honest and eloquent.
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@colormecrazywithkim5837
@colormecrazywithkim5837 Ай бұрын
I agree about jealousy.....it's natural. If there is excessive jealousy, there is a reason why. You've had bad experiences in the past, or the person may be trying to get you jealous. My personal feelings.
@_jules86
@_jules86 Ай бұрын
Macken Murphy.. keep doing what you’re doing. What a fascinating human!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
🙌
@kyliejackson-bell810
@kyliejackson-bell810 Ай бұрын
I truly think it’s a combination of age and pain… thank you for sharing. I used to feel intense jealousy (for good reason, not all the time) but if I’d walked away I would’ve saved myself myself from heartbreak. I don’t regret it, but it’s hard to not wonder how different life would have been. My second relationship, he cheated it hurt but I was okay, honestly he did me a favour, unfortunately he was also horrible and scary and it did take me several years to safely get away but now I have built a wonderful life that I love. I have a great relationship and I’ve found the love of my life, I’ve allowed myself to be loved which is truly amazing. At 41 I think the key to my happiness is not being dependent. I would be heartbroken if my man cheated but I would be okay… there is power and freedom in that, I’ve never felt that way
@miss_whipps
@miss_whipps 4 күн бұрын
You're inspiring. I just experienced the heartbreak of being cheated on for the first time, and it was within a VERY codependent relationship. I can see how the impact would have been different (no less painful, but less devastating and injurious to my self esteem) if I had been more self sufficient, financially, emotionally, socially, etc. I hope to securely establish myself and become more whole before I consider a new relationship. Happy for you, I respect and admire your insight!❤
@shellshelly5552
@shellshelly5552 Ай бұрын
Lewis….The lack of jealousy means YOU accepted yourself fully. Self worth, confidence leaves no room for jealousy.
@mrs.c5471
@mrs.c5471 23 күн бұрын
I was never jealous of my husband, UNTIL he destroyed my world, my trust, my faith. I really don’t believe even now I’m “jealous” rather I’m more “aware” and listen to my gut.
@johnnydi2231
@johnnydi2231 4 күн бұрын
I completely lack this quality.... And am currently going through the worst pain of my entire life because of it. And I have no idea how to deal with it, or how to completely rewire myself atp?! I am in constant pain and can't stop it. So I'm just screwed. And it hurts in an almost inexplicable way! 💔
@MS-sr6mj
@MS-sr6mj 2 күн бұрын
Not in my experience. I know someone who is very insecure, but he is never jealous.
@v9b23j
@v9b23j Ай бұрын
Online dating is similar to speed dating in the sense that both men & women have multiple options and choices to make in a brief time frame based on very little information they can garner from each other. Similarly, I think it's fair to assume that both men & women prioritize physical attractiveness over other traits when they engage in online dating apps.
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Ай бұрын
Correct, they do!
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 27 күн бұрын
Online is The Paradox Of Choice - Ted Talk Women swipe 5% due to being more discerning - higher mating standards. Men swipe 60% to create more options.
@bethb.6813
@bethb.6813 Ай бұрын
Yes. I am divorced and haven't dated for a quarter century, but am thinking about trying again. I appreciate the insights that Dr. Machen Murphy shared from the data and that he was humble in sharing this information, properly limiting it to what he knew from his data or saying where else the information came from. Despite his youth, we can all learn a thing or two about both science and character from Dr. Machen Murphy.
@elizabeetle13
@elizabeetle13 Күн бұрын
Oh dear, why would you want to break your string? I haven't had a man in 18 years and I cannot imagine trying again.
@dr.florence
@dr.florence Ай бұрын
I loved this! As a fellow researcher, though in the humanities, I LOVES him citing studies and his general honesty , carefulness and humility. Soooo different from those self-styled arrogant coaches on healing podcasts like this.
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Ай бұрын
Thank you for the kind words
@camillegallagher7828
@camillegallagher7828 Ай бұрын
"1)In terms of how you behave, live in accordance with your values as opposed to the vicissitudes of your base emotions and chance thoughts. 2) Think more about cultivating your obituary virtues as opposed to your resume virtues. 3)The person you pick is the most important choice you make so be careful with that and think of it as a skill you want to be excellent at in maintaining that."
@Priyanka_B_Love
@Priyanka_B_Love Ай бұрын
Can’t get over how well you communicate Macken!
@RavenC1357
@RavenC1357 5 күн бұрын
I love this. I wish more men and women liked these kinds of relationship podcasts
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 5 күн бұрын
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@TheTialalande
@TheTialalande Ай бұрын
The piece on creating an environment that would make somebody want to be around and not feel like They're in a cage. I totally get that. It takes a lot of self-reflection to really get there.
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Ай бұрын
100%
@divine.healing
@divine.healing Ай бұрын
At 39 I couldn't agree more about Lewis' jealousy insight 🔥🔥🔥
@BREEZYDENVER
@BREEZYDENVER Ай бұрын
Thankyou so much this was amazing, this whole production of the video, the editing, the guest, the questions... round of applause
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
Appreciate your support. Thank you for watching! 🧡
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Ай бұрын
thanks so much :)
@idaliahernandez1083
@idaliahernandez1083 Ай бұрын
I love listening to every statement on this interview. Lewis, i must confessed that ever since I found you i have found great minds as wel;l and I started following them to listen their content. Thank you for always bringing to your platform great minds and sharing with us great information that's to our benefit for growth. Definitely, you are the best out of all these many great minds and I love every time you leave the guest in awe with your questions. They are all on point. Again, THANK YOU! ❤
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
Thank you so much for your kind words 🧡
@VanessaDiazNYC
@VanessaDiazNYC Ай бұрын
Fantastic podcast! Loved the acknowledgment at the end Lewis! 😊
@morganadavies8319
@morganadavies8319 27 күн бұрын
I appreciate Lewis' honesty and self reflection in this session
@cece9770
@cece9770 Ай бұрын
I would argue that Gen Z is engaging in less risky behavior across the board, because they still have hope that they can survive in this world but that one false move can be the difference between making something of themselves or facing complete ruin. One unexpected (unprepared for) pregnancy can result in irresponsible parenting (inability to provide adequate care) or having to deal with the emotional consequences of having an abortion. One use of a substance that can lead to addiction, is enough to prevent them from experimenting. I would argue that Gen Z has possibly absorbed more wisdom earlier in life than past generations. They watched us mess up and decided they weren’t going to make the same mistakes. And LASTLY I would argue that collectively that the parents of Gen Z are more cognizant of mental health and self esteem, and therefore are more likely to address issues with their kids unlike previous generations who have preferred to dismiss and ignore/punish issues. And in that, Gen z’ers are valuing themselves more. And all this is thanks to platforms like this, Reddit etc… because now they have access to REAL stories from people rather than just hearing what sounds like a parent or a TV sitcom intent on fear mongering as a means of control. Kids have more access to witness real consequences of making poor decisions, and therefore are choosing more wisely. 🎉
@germelinaobrien5277
@germelinaobrien5277 29 күн бұрын
Important discussion of life that's entertaining. Mr.Murphy is very careful with his statements and so respectful of himself and other researchers as he expresses ideas .
@chrystelelacroix4681
@chrystelelacroix4681 13 күн бұрын
I think the same
@alexwagnerautorin
@alexwagnerautorin Ай бұрын
your choice of guests is just fantastic! thank you so much
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
You're welcome, your support means a lot!
@tracymullane8818
@tracymullane8818 7 күн бұрын
Jealousy isn't a bad thing, as the way he's describing it. It's totally dependent on the kind of respect or priority your partner is showing you, in relation to the intimacy you share- whether they are or not- and/or whether or not you have an anxious attachment style. Which is kind of embarrassing- to have an anxious attachment style. Just check in on the relationship with dignity as necessary. Being protective of the relationship is healthy and fine.
@cm4644
@cm4644 Ай бұрын
Mate poaching, 100% success! He would not even make contact if he didn't already decide when saying 'Hi"
@whiplashbeauty
@whiplashbeauty Ай бұрын
This has been one of the most fascinating and informative conversations! Great interview Macken & Lewis! Thank you!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
So glad you enjoyed it, thank you for watching🧡
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Ай бұрын
Thank you!!
@stavokg
@stavokg Ай бұрын
What a wonderfully kind guest! Such interesting and helpful information! Thank you.
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
Glad you enjoyed it!
@zarinatiger6244
@zarinatiger6244 Ай бұрын
The jealousy part is true on both ends in my opinion. I mean it's flattering in the beginning then it must die down otherwise it becomes uncomfortable and uncontrollable leading to an unhappy miserable relationship ❤ thank you @Lewis enjoyed this interview✨️
@user-bi4hf6vq1d
@user-bi4hf6vq1d Ай бұрын
Excellent interview and information. I appreciate that he gives credit to others who have done the studies and research! Giving credit where credit is due and admitting when he may not have the stats or answers. Very refreshing! Mac is very intelligent and knowledgeable as well as Wise for the number of years he has walked this path...
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Ай бұрын
Cheers!!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to check out the interview! So glad you enjoyed it🧡
@brightpage1020
@brightpage1020 Ай бұрын
Thank you, gentlemen, for this discussion.
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Ай бұрын
Thanks for joining us!
@porschajohnson1890
@porschajohnson1890 13 күн бұрын
Interviewer Question: Why not just break up before cheating? Interviewee's Response: "Why would you quit your job before securing another one?" That was such a good parallel! It's called Mate Switching. I don't agree with anyone cheating, but the response sure does put things into perspective for those of us who have asked the why not just break up question!
@karenpeatey6226
@karenpeatey6226 Ай бұрын
YES YES YES Life changing info - brilliant guys Thankyou Just on the lying segment I remember an expert commenting - our body can’t lie but our brain can That’s why there are always tell tale body language giveaways We lie all the time it’s a part of life - we have a dark side that knows we have to mask our darkness Sometimes we’re trying to be nice but we just can’t Like being in a relationship that we haven’t learned to master or the partner wants a commitment we’re not ready for Or in A job we hate So in these situations we lie Even to ourselves The body will take over - feel sick more often Have an affair or self sabotage Fascinating topic
@ilsevdg1194
@ilsevdg1194 Ай бұрын
"he can do better".... This conversation is not about love. Its about arranged, negotiated relationships.
@terewilliams1555
@terewilliams1555 11 күн бұрын
interestingly enough, arranged marriages have the lowest divorce rate. Maybe we can learn something ...
@ilsevdg1194
@ilsevdg1194 11 күн бұрын
@@terewilliams1555 Hey there! Thank you for your reply and I respect your opinion! I agree that nothing is black and white. But the superficial considerations as discussed , are only marginally important in the long run. That is my conviction and experience. And, well, the author of the study himself also seems to disagree in real life. Go to 1:14:00. Divorce rates are not just the reflection of the (real) success of the marriages. They're also the reflection of the cultural differences in attitude towards divorce, socioeconomic circumstances etcetera. You could get Lucky in an arranged marriage and naturally evolve to a deeper connection with your partner. But if you follow your heart and intuition from the beginning (which is much wiser than your calculating mind), then your chance of real success, real matrimonial bliss, is bigger, I believe.
@chriestinenpape
@chriestinenpape Ай бұрын
I really enjoy this podcast and appreciate both of their expertise and experience!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
So glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for watching🧡
@colleenwoods5065
@colleenwoods5065 Ай бұрын
Thank you for having this guest on, Lewis! I appreciated his humility as he referenced a number of times that he's young and just starting out in his field. We all start somewhere. I think we can do ourselves and society a service by encouraging those in his generation who are illustrating their passions/interests in a way to improve the lives of others. I hope his app assistants couples to have deeper and more meaningful conversations💓 Thanks again, Lewis!
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Ай бұрын
Thank you for the kind words.
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
You're welcome, thank you for watching! 🧡
@B.I.D_Group
@B.I.D_Group 12 күн бұрын
Never get into a relationship with someone that is insecure - this goes for in business relationships as well
@Alfir33
@Alfir33 Ай бұрын
This is the most interesting interview. Huge respect. So bright and inspiring!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
Thank you so much for your feedback 🙂
@MJLQ16
@MJLQ16 Ай бұрын
I always enjoy the interviews you provide, Lewis. I think you are able to get people to offer more than they may in other interviews because of your incredibly approachable personality. The only thing I thing I would modify is the number of questions you ask at one time. It seems like you have so much curiosity (which is why these interviews are great) that you ask multiple questions at one time. Often, some of the questions you ask when grouped together, don't get answered. Just my observation. It may just be me! That is always a possibility. Keep up the fantastic podcast!
@brightpage1020
@brightpage1020 Ай бұрын
Macken, thank you, this was fascinating! I’m a copywriter and I’d advise you to consider your audience as an entertainment audience as different than an academic one. We’re all friends here! Not just your science projects ;) You’re cute though! Making your mom and girlfriend(s) proud! Cheers! “Stay gold, PonyBoy!” - The Outsiders
@bestestfriend2023
@bestestfriend2023 Ай бұрын
Thank you for bringing Mack on here! Yay! ❤
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
You're welcome 🙌
@googlespyfranchise9089
@googlespyfranchise9089 Ай бұрын
Wow, such humility, compassion and thoughtfulness. Especially moved by his empathy for the sufferers of infidelity. Such a dude.. seems to have an absence of grandiosity, which is refreshing given its prevalence in a lot of online talkers. Mind you.. if I like someone then that’s probably a warning sign.. I thought Huberman was great, my ‘picker’ is broken. In fact the police could probably use me as a psychopath detector.. whoever I like- that’s the person with the bodies in the basement 😅 (yes I am remaining single whilst I sort it out ha).
@shabarney
@shabarney Ай бұрын
Me too such a shame!
@elisemiddleton2660
@elisemiddleton2660 27 күн бұрын
Yes! This was interesting and informative, it’s a new perspective to consider with a different approach.
@enlightenyourself5200
@enlightenyourself5200 17 күн бұрын
Such a professional and responsible approach to sharing his expertise and his caution where it’s not his area but weighing in with such a vast knowledge of other areas that overlap. I really appreciated this genuine and very insightful conversation into men and women and the many aspects of fidelity . Thank you both 😊
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 17 күн бұрын
I appreciate your feedback, thank you so much for watching! 🙌
@annettepaul3584
@annettepaul3584 Ай бұрын
I’m enjoying the content. I believe science tells us a lot and is overlooked in conversation. Psychology is a research based science too actually.
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for being here 🧡
@suzanne2680
@suzanne2680 Ай бұрын
I had the exact same evolution with jealousy for the same reasons. Lewis. So liberating to let go of that.
@brightpage1020
@brightpage1020 Ай бұрын
Yeah who wants to be with somebody who’d rather be with anyone else? I’ve gotten some tips that jealousy is about my own insecurity - not in an insulting way but as feedback from my body or the world that I don’t feel as confident as I’d like to about our connection - to take it as reminder to work on my own confidence through building myself up to become more secure with myself and less needy of any partner’s approval or attraction. That has helped. I also think being cheated on in a dating or even a “serious” dating relationship like cohabitating is … different on so many levels than a decade together with 4 kids, a home, shared bills, accounts, and a legal plus spiritual union. So much easier to recover from without kids in the mix and how kids change you.
@dolleydano2057
@dolleydano2057 Ай бұрын
I really love and enjoy this conversation very detailed. Thank you both
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@felegoasistv7911
@felegoasistv7911 Ай бұрын
I loved this interview for it's very interesting topic, Macken's shared findings and research, and as always I felt like Lewis was just snatching the questions from *my mind* as the conversation was flowing. I really loved the apple example in reference to still being led by the heart rather than data. So helpful and thoughtful. Time well spent here Lewis. I always feel more prepared on navigating humanity after a SoG episode.
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
Thanks! I appreciate your feedback!
@justinanorwath3847
@justinanorwath3847 Ай бұрын
I want to share this to my network and more. Thank you Lewis and Macken for this knowledge about infidelity etc 🎉❤
@margaretwilliams5398
@margaretwilliams5398 25 күн бұрын
Lewis I can relate to what you shared about jealousy and at a certain point I just completely let go and realized you can’t control others.
@allisonmcpherson7869
@allisonmcpherson7869 21 күн бұрын
He is such a brilliant young scientist. I found Thais Gibson that specialize in attachment theories and she healed herself and her story of self healing is amazing. I hope maybe you would consider bringing her on as a guest speaker. I also find your interview with Martha very inspiring, she is this amazing awaken human being. I am on this journey alone with self healing. I really don't have an exact map of how to go about it. I am living with my mom and that is a huge challenge, since I find myself reacting to her many times due to past trauma(she was some what abusive), but learning to let go of resentment and forgiving her is a process.
@ufojeo
@ufojeo Ай бұрын
Regardless if he doesn’t have the life experience most old heads have, it’s still worth a listen. He’s a scholar and literally does studies on infidelity. This is quite similar to psychologists who do studies, the only difference is the age. Keep an open mind and don’t follow what other people’s ego say on here 🙄
@user-or3rk4vl5j
@user-or3rk4vl5j 27 күн бұрын
This young man has studied his his filled and knows what he is talking about! I appreciate his candor. I appreciate him, saying this isn’t socially acceptable, but this is what I found, and he just goes with the truth! And I appreciate that greatly!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 27 күн бұрын
Thank you so much for your feedback 🙂
@CorinneAudibert-qy6nm
@CorinneAudibert-qy6nm Ай бұрын
Fantastic interview. Refreshing humility, emotional intelligence and big brains here.
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Ай бұрын
Thank you!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
Thank you for watching🧡
@DeirdreMFox
@DeirdreMFox Ай бұрын
Awesome interview, Macken has a bright career ahead of him.
@ElDrom_Belle
@ElDrom_Belle 12 күн бұрын
Wow, the guest is so young and yet so utterly mature and insightful. Whatcan impressive young man. Once again excellent choice Lewis, bravo
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 12 күн бұрын
Thanks for watching! I'm glad you liked it!
@a.d.2206
@a.d.2206 12 сағат бұрын
This man is the perfect mix of confidence and humility
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 12 сағат бұрын
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@mariaclarasoares9648
@mariaclarasoares9648 Ай бұрын
So, smart and so young!!! Great interview!!! Extremely humble ! Nice
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@franklenz1173
@franklenz1173 24 күн бұрын
To experience a feeling of jealousy is cause to look within…to discover the imbalance of your own perception of any situation. One must always endeavour to be searching within ourselves to find answer to whatever troubles the individual self. Jealousy lays in wait for those not willing to be accountable for their own emotional growth and wisdom. Peace awaits if you dare make the effort to work yourself out instead of risking emotional disadvantage because people would be wise to avoid perceiving others as competition. There is no-one with your particular energy frequency, we are all unique and able to expand through self intuitive thought energy, kaleidoscope, if you’re aware.
@kyliejackson-bell810
@kyliejackson-bell810 Ай бұрын
What a great guest! I’ve already subscribed to his KZbin channel ❤ Really appreciate a 26 year old who is kind and humble and not a know it all… such a rare species these days 😂😂😂
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@nannoreul
@nannoreul 17 күн бұрын
Time well spent listening to this entire interview! Most videos on this subject lean strongly into opinion, but this was refreshing with all the evidence and studies packed in there!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 17 күн бұрын
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to check out the interview! So glad you enjoyed it🧡
@monikaherbichova1047
@monikaherbichova1047 Ай бұрын
Wow that was fascinating interview Thank you ❤
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@ingridquintanilla8057
@ingridquintanilla8057 18 күн бұрын
Absolutely love Macken’s delivery ! He’s so good
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 17 күн бұрын
Thank you so much for your feedback 🙂
@omradiant
@omradiant Ай бұрын
Fantastic interview!👍
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to check out the interview! So glad you enjoyed it🧡
@ileniaherrera9987
@ileniaherrera9987 7 күн бұрын
Just wow! Great interview! Well done young man. Thank you for sharing.
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 7 күн бұрын
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@DarkerSideOfDawn
@DarkerSideOfDawn Ай бұрын
This is great! I just wish I knew all of this 35 years ago 😊 There is most definitely a difference between jealousy and insecurity. Jealousy is rooted in possession .. insecurity is rooted in fear. Possession speaks for its self , insecurity is either rooted in ACEs, past betrayals, or betrayals in the relationship.. Mine was entertaining himself because he believed himself entitled . I think he was getting off on the game .. pretty sure he’d be considered a sophisticated psychopath ..
@brightpage1020
@brightpage1020 Ай бұрын
A 20sometjing year old is perfectly capable of gaining wisdom worthy of sharing. I wish he had more confidence in his experience.
@annamoreau4068
@annamoreau4068 27 күн бұрын
This man is so interesting and the first guy I’ve seen that focuses on the science.
@ktmaree
@ktmaree Ай бұрын
Amazing video, I absolutely loved this!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@isabellakarner7403
@isabellakarner7403 Ай бұрын
Hi! Thank you for this interesting interview. I truly appreciate your honesty with regard to your knowledge on the subject and your personal experience. I personally didnt notice any correlation between a person's beauty and fidelity, I saw beautiful women and men staying faithful because they were psychologically healthy and in a happy relationship... I think it is a question of personality and psychological/energetic patterns... there are many techniques to heal emotional wounds and conditioning, EFT tapping is one of them. another would be hypnosis, also Hale Dwoskin's Sedona method is very easy and effective. I hope this information is helpful to people who are struggling with these issues... your honesty and humility are refreshing! Great interview!
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Ай бұрын
thank you!
@isabellakarner7403
@isabellakarner7403 Ай бұрын
I wish you all the best! Great job!@@murphymacken
@irinasolarova2636
@irinasolarova2636 4 күн бұрын
This was so great! I couldn’t believe his age vs his level of maturity and humilty.
@MirnaEJiron
@MirnaEJiron Ай бұрын
Lewis, you are so on point. I see that young man of 27 holding allot of data but is missing the years of life experience like you and I (I’m 64).
@lindaerdey3887
@lindaerdey3887 Ай бұрын
Awesome content!❤
@jenniferrobinett3757
@jenniferrobinett3757 Ай бұрын
I really appreciate this conversation. Thank you so much for this. Im totally going to follow him now! These are important topics that need attention, especially for those who want to kearn, grow, and mature.
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@1565kat
@1565kat Ай бұрын
Such a great interview!!!!!! Love this guy!!!!
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Ай бұрын
thank you:)
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Ай бұрын
Thank you for tuning in 🙌
@mickie1154
@mickie1154 11 күн бұрын
I really learned SO much from this! Which led me to an awakening of a huge need for an answer to this: I must to change me. I must change from being drawn to narcissists. How can a person do this? Tell me. I will do it immediately.
@Mercermm
@Mercermm 6 күн бұрын
Get more self secure and sure of yourself. Narcissist love to be able to control you. Good luck.
@laureenprice8123
@laureenprice8123 13 күн бұрын
Excellent interview! He gave so much useful information!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 13 күн бұрын
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@JudeLDavis
@JudeLDavis Ай бұрын
Lewis, Congratulations!!! I just saw you are a speaker at Grant Cardone's 10X Growth Conference!!! WooHoo!!!
@zaynaa4377
@zaynaa4377 Ай бұрын
I love when 😂 macken takes off his specs when talking about something serious
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Ай бұрын
for emphasis!
@andreiadetavora8471
@andreiadetavora8471 Ай бұрын
@@murphymacken 😅🤣 You're terrific!
@99balloons71
@99balloons71 7 күн бұрын
That is observant of you. Its good you enoyed from different perspectives. I love it that he has researched such important topics and sharing generously so much of his findings.
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