"Love is Not Enough in Intimate Relationships!" You NEED These 3 Things As Well with Matthew Hussey

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Today we’re back for ROUND 2 of all things relationships with none other than the insightful relationship coach, Matthew Hussey. Whether you’re healing a broken heart or exploring a new relationship, today’s episode is a must-listen. We’ll explore why breakups can hurt even when you know it’s for the best, what it truly means to change for someone you love, and how to identify if you’re dating a high-value person.
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0:00 Intro
00:03:20 - Chronic Grief and Moving On
00:06:51 - The Fear of Change and Letting Go
00:10:14 - The Difficulty of Change in Relationships
00:13:51 - Changing for Someone Else?
00:17:23 - The Mirror of Self-Realization
00:21:01 - Setting Standards in Relationships
00:24:36 - Developing Personal Standards
00:28:20 - Finding Love Based on Personal Values
00:32:07 - The Value of Consistency in Relationships
00:35:53 - Creating Intimacy Through Painful Conversations
00:39:07 - Having Difficult Conversations and Establishing Relationship Values
00:42:38 - Conversations About Future Goals
00:45:48 - Prioritizing My Health
0:49:01 - Priorities in a Relationship: Health, Purpose, and Love
00:52:24 - Priorities for a Healthy Relationship
00:55:46 - Prioritizing Self and Relationship
00:59:21 - Prioritizing Relationships
01:02:50 - The Importance of Compatibility
01:06:13 - The Importance of Loving Yourself
01:09:46 - The Problem with the Romantic Model of Self-Love
01:12:57 - Taking Care of Your Human
01:16:31 - Taking Care of Your Human
01:20:06 - Quick Love Update
#greatness #inspiration #motivation

[@lewishowes]

Thanks to Matthew for sharing his wisdom with us! Leave a “YES” if you enjoyed this and share the biggest moment for you. And make sure to subscribe to never miss out on inspiring content like this again KZbin.com/lewishowes

[@suedevol]

Yes

[@sherajr]

Yes! Thanks for the out of your league question! Great questions all around 🙌

[@user-fi9kl1tr4z]

All that so called high value women with their list of high value qualities, should first learn about the fundamentals in farming, because people started to look for a partner just like they are in the grocery shop choosing amongst a variety of food, but they have no idea what's the quality control preceding the choosing. As I like to say: World is full of so many vegetables with only superficial visible qualities and poor nutritional facts inside. All You guys judge according to the envelope in a list and that's the pity of nowadays humanity! Life and love should go easily and really simply accompanied by the aim to be surprised avoiding to pre describe the surprises in a list....💡❣️🎉💯

[@narrymanpina7889]

Yes! ❤Thank you

[@arundathinadar8185]

Mathew has touched upon each and every point that I went through ..it's simply superb

[@desertrose111]

Don't let your boyfriend stop you from finding your husband, sometimes you have to show the courage of leaving people you care about in order to find people who care about you.

[@gregcantaberry7525]

Damn....

[@Avarosa]

It's okay to mourn the fact that they were not the one, but don't mourn them AS IF they were the one. ❤

[@maryjankowski9032]

Wow this really made me think about my narcissistic husband that divorced me for a younger woman with money. I do realize it was as always all about what he wanted, but why do I beat myself up about it all. Our son said the first weeks we were going through the divorce process, Mom you are free and you have so many opportunities...It has taken some years and therapy to be glad he divorced me and live my best life without the dead weight of him dragging me down

[@sixx8125]

Thank you for this😢

[@priyankadeyray243]

Matthew Hussey doesn't know how grateful we are for his work

[@lewishowes]

👍

[@Journeybacktoself]

1. Admiration 2. Mutual Attraction 3. Commitment 4. Compatibility

[@elsh332]

It's so hard when you secure the first 3 and then discover that the last one isn't working. By that point, one can be super invested and in denial about the reality of the incompatibility. That scenario makes for a very unpleasant situation.

[@friederikemaragela6363]

I agree​@@elsh332

[@lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285]

​@@elsh332yes

[@lala5061]

​@elsh332 yes it does...if it naturally can't flow for real cuz people need to change drastically 😬 it's no point 😭

[@starry589]

What if 1,3,4 are there and not 2- mutual attraction ☹️

[@vidalismi9658]

Love when two men have healthy conversations

[@MS-bs8dd]

Right?

[@ccagrad2002]

Lol

[@2tzus]

I ended a 28-year marriage in my mid 40s; the hardest thing I've ever done. From the outside it was very 'white picket fence' so it threw a real wrench in every aspect of our world, but I knew I couldn't do another 28 years of the same thing. The disentanglement process with friends and family is overwhelming and takes a very long time, but fast forward 14 years, I'm married to a wonderful man and I'm glad I had the courage to make the changes I needed for me. My ex-husband, however, is still single and still sees himself as the victim. All I can do is save myself.

[@CounselingwithMsMejia]

Thank you for sharing! This gives me hope 🙏🏽

[@carlareginaga]

@2tzus you were brave! Congratulations for choosing you first and for the strength you built facing those situations. That's how we grow🙌💜✨👏

[@sashar5646]

What were the reasons for ending it?

[@2tzus]

@@sashar5646 There are so many pieces to it... we married young and had two kids in the next few years. If that hadn't happened, I suspect the marriage would have ended by year 5, but we didn't separate until they were young adults. I became the caregiver for both the kids and him, and no one feels romantic about one of their 'kids.' It was just many things through the years that led to me losing respect and not loving him in that way any more. He's a wonderful man, just not one I could spend another 28 years with.

[@2tzus]

@@esthersbeautysecrets4541 Your story is the same as mine. Everyone says "I could never do online dating," including me, but that's where I met my current husband, and along the way I had a lot of fun and met many wonderful men!

[@danajoseph868]

This guy makes so much sense. Rather than make a list of boxes to check off, think about how the person makes you feel daily!!! What women mostly look for is security...that's a feeling that when you know, you KNOW!

[@sherriflemming3218]

Credibility is in actions. How they treat you. Words and actions need to be aligned. Alignment is: Values emotional maturity disposition character lifestyle and worldview. Shared goals. Health love is calm and safe. Communication and relationship skills. The ego seeks the external. Safe People by Henry Cloud Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin Attached by Amir Levine Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future - Sam Vaknin podcast Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record Kindness Consistency Communication Character Committment Standards boundaries a bs detector and a backbone.

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@AndiAlexander1]

Do both. If you don’t have the right feeling, there is no point. But if you don’t have compatibility, you’re just setting yourself up for pain.

[@pattyleong902]

“Taking care of my human” wow, never thought of it that way. So powerful! I do anything and everything for my kids but I never thought of myself that way. Thank you!

[@TeaRose9]

So much this!!

[@yq2280]

Because we hoped that one day they will change but they won’t !

[@thematthewhussey]

Thank you so much for the beautiful comments everyone! And love you Lewis! Literally one of my favorite people to speak to in the world, both on and off camera. Appreciate you brother. For anyone who wants to order a copy of the book you can grab yours at www.lovelifebook.com. Happy reading everyone!! ❤🎉📕

[@nejatsultan598]

It was a great episode, thank you

[@itsheidyrosario.]

The last part had me in tears thank you so much Matthew. Really needed to hear that I don’t need to come up with any qualities to love myself it’s just my job to.

[@Optim40]

I don't know you sound kinda simpish.

[@Wave60101]

Self love in the end 😊❤ Thank you Sir Matt i enjoyed listening both of you ❤ 📕

[@hazel4499]

So few people talk about how it feels to be the one initiating the breakup. In fact. I rarely find any talks or articles on the pain felt by the one having initiated the breakup. Thank YOU for acknowledging how hard it is. Thank YOU for talking about this.

[@DominionAnako-bb7ry]

Of course! Going through a breakup can be a challenging and emotional time. It's important to give yourself space to heal and process your feelings. Take time to reflect on the relationship and what you've learned from it. Surround yourself with positive influences and engage in activities that bring you joy. Remember, this is an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. You're capable of rebuilding and finding happiness again. Stay strong! 💪❤️

[@mcm6563]

Yes tkank you it's good to have someone out there to encourage us in this new sistem especially when you feel you need to find new ways 'of finding your self and happiness 💌

[@lewishowes]

I appreciate your feedback, thank you so much for watching! 🙏🙌

[@DominionAnako-bb7ry]

@@lewishowes Welcome

[@ericcamulali3219]

i love this

[@samanthameredith2329]

Thank you for both of you guys. You're amazing and so open. ❤

[@vikkster5723]

You have been speaking so much truth. Love is not enough. Lovers need to match lifestyles,morals,desires and dreams to work. Otherwise your lover should be a friend you love.

[@oliviarbanks]

The last 20 minutes where Matthew talks about how to really love your self- your Human- and comparing that to the love of a parent and child, unconditional love, that was what really landed for me. Amazing interview- top 5!

[@hkellam9]

I'm only 12 minutes into this podcast and I feel like it summarizes the last year of my life in terms of growth and everything I'm currently learning about love and life, grief, heartache, and betrayal and how to move past it. Bravo Matthew And Lewis for this episode

[@lewishowes]

Appreciate you for watching! 🧡

[@Angelgirl25]

2 beautiful divine masculine souls having a great conversation. Thank you for this.

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome, thank you for being here! 🧡

[@arthuritis4503]

I lit the fuse that blew up my life... best thing i ever did.

[@blackeneddove]

I’m scared to do it. 😞

[@lala5061]

​@@blackeneddovei can understand 🤗 but how long u gonna wait..there is never a right time...never i tell ya 18 years together spent about 12 of them ready to go time flies it seems there was and still isn't a right time but i finally did it too...i lit the fuse!

[@blackeneddove]

@@lala5061 18 years here, too. I just don’t know how to. Getting a lawyer and all that is so scary/daunting. And sounds super expensive. I don’t really have the money. 😕

[@TLC717]

How did you light the fuse? I feel like I push my husband to be the one to end our relationship so that I don't have to take full responsibility if it is a mistake to end it. This makes me a weak person, I know. The thing is, I pushed him too far in Oct 2022, and he told me he wanted me to leave and we'd be happier apart. I fell to pieces and was heartbroken. I talked him into not ending it. I had to go along with things I hated to get along with him. I moved out in Jan 2023 because I couldn't handle the situation with him and my son. That's a really long story. We decided to keep seeing each other and consider ourselves living separately but not separated. We talk multiple times daily, and I go spend Sunday evenings/ nights with him. I love him, but we really are not compatible in any way. I think we are both unhappy together, but neither of us wants to move on. I don't know what to do. I'm sitting here writing this feeling like my heart is breaking. It's a lose/ lose situation.

[@AnaGfit23]

It’s only been 6 months and while it’s been hard, I don’t regret it one bit now. Even though my extra wasn’t a “bad” person-it wasn’t right. I wasn’t right yet; a lot to work on and I didn’t see enough shared values or compatibility to make it worth it to work on it w him. I wish him the best, but in the end, it was the 100% right move for me.

[@Berryandmango]

Mr Hussey has matured so beautifully; he has soul and heart. A very decent gentleman. One can sense that these two gentleman love each other.

[@11080698]

Thank you for seeing the good beyond the physical….

[@hirsch4155]

They are kind of the inverse of each other the one explains it in the abstract and is really smart the other has lived it and is able to see it clearly and understands the reality of being a mature man but also probably a f**kboi previously lol. I think they’re also just on similar wavelength with some shared values.

[@DSILVAjeiy]

🤔🎯🏹 Let this sink in... Self Priorities 🏆💗 #1: Health (Mind, Body, Spirit) #2: Vision & Purpose #3: Healthy Relationship

[@lenkaa.9955]

"I love myself because I exist❤". Powerful. Beautiful conversation as always. Thank you guys.

[@marionmaierphilonatura]

I love myself despite I exist, since existence is error-prone.

[@amberscottcmt7400]

If a guy told me those were his top 3 priorities, I would be ecstatic. I would be able to trust that man, and he'd support my priorities. Health being shared as #1 is ideal.

[@BirgitGriessner]

Being "my human".. never thought of my life like this before. It's so powerful and beautiful and simple really. And instantly changes perception. Thank you Matthew, from the bottom of my heart.

[@lewishowes]

Thank you so much for watching!

[@miraclehands9040]

Mathew is really wise. He is tuned in with relationships. We in the US are so f__d up when it comes to living lasting relationships. We need his wisdom and insights.

[@BreathSearch]

Loving yourself because I'm my human, it's my job. This is very healing.

[@yvonnegrant1173]

This Guy is super intelligent and wise. Thanks for having him Lewis ‼️‼️‼️

[@jeromedowney6751]

#1 Health, #2 Vision, #3 Peace and Intimacy.

[@monamartin2560]

You felt so alone when you were in the relationship and then you pull the fuse and leave and then you’re still alone after you leave! Because you simply don’t trust anyone!

[@anoncspan4129]

Betrayal trauma? Avoidance? What's the issue? It sounds identifiable. Best of luck.

[@CindyTemple]

Trust is earned. Take your time and know and trust yourself first. At least now you are free to do so.

[@user-kf3yz7so6q]

Oh my goodness, how so true. I was in a marriage for 37 years with a narcissist, yes, I felt so lonely in the marriage because everyone and everything was put before me, I wasn’t important, he didn’t need to impress me so I was left at home a lot of the time, when he was home, nine out of ten times he was asleep or on the lap top etc. I’ve been on my own now for the last seven months, I have good days and bad days, a lot of ruminating, do miss him, wonder if I could’ve done more to help the marriage but, really, I don’t think so…. I gave 100%, he gave 50%. He had to be in control, if I said no to something he wanted I got the silent treatment for weeks!! He really was cruel in a lot of ways, never apologised, gaslit me, patronised, manipulated me.. and this is why I don’t think I will ever enter into another relationship… I have to protect myself.

[@monamartin2560]

@@user-kf3yz7so6q after leaving my narcissistic husband after 30 years I have come to realize that I did what I could to save the marriage my intentions came from love and I will be damned to have him take my power! He is the one that is broken not me! I would rather live alone the rest of my life then live that life ever again! I had to look within myself and ask: what is broken in me to think that I don’t deserve to be treated better than what I am getting from him? Why would I accept this treatment?

[@MonaMarMag]

First of all we always should be ourselves , not pretend to be someone we are not . When someone does not accept us as we are , this means that nothing will come of it and is simply a waste of his and our time . When we are truthful we give the other person a chance to choose . Anyway ... You can not pretend someone you are not for a long time so if someone pretends in relationship it is he himself who dooms his relationship to failure .

[@alethea6781]

As a therapist, I have seen many people change for someone else. They actually just start the process for someone else. As they self-observe, they realize it really is a problem for them too and it’s doable. I’ve also seen people start their change journey because their partner won’t go to couple therapy. If people are open minded and willing to look at themselves, it doesn’t matter why they came to therapy. I think it’s a myth that you have to want to change or hit rock bottom. Just get through the door

[@anoncspan4129]

As a client of someone in your profession. And keep coming through the door, do the work between sessions.

[@user-zm9hw3mt7m]

The last 10 minutes just blew my mind

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@DelSunflower33]

Love is an action. Yes.

[@impactmakerstribe]

Healthy relationships also need trust , respect , good communication and shared goals.

[@user-kf3yz7so6q]

Yes, and all these qualities are missing from a relationship with a narcissist🥹….so sad.

[@sandrinasantos7864]

The definition of self-love presented by Matthew at the end... Wow. Mind changing.

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@JH-je6ij]

So great to listen to these two gorgeous intelligent men interact with genuine liking and respect for each other on a subject they clearly care about.❤

[@JH-je6ij]

By the way, it was never about the nose. A shame she (and maybe he) didn't realize that quicker.

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@yougotgroove]

You don't need to recreate your life you need to detach from the life that you created from external sources. You need to detach from all of that nonsense and connect with that authentic self and the only way to do that is to remember who you were. Because that's actually who you are . That's what a spiritual awakening is

[@lewishowes]

Thank you so much for your feedback 🙂

[@lala5061]

Yeeesss 🙏🏽

[@anoncspan4129]

Agree in general. One caveat. Try to identify the parts of your authentic self that you may not feel good about and do that work to create the real authentic self that you want to be... Just a thought. Nobody starts perfect, ya know? Not saying to throw the baby out with the bath water, love yourself to heal yourself of course.

[@yougotgroove]

@@anoncspan4129 that's right. We have the ego we have the shadow self, these are all parts of our authentic self, and it's pretty authentic to have that subconscious mind fooling you and running the show. We become aware of this through meditation, we become mindful and that's when the connection with self occurs This is Awakening Where do you think that cliche phrasecame from in the first place ..we I've heard this phrase we have said this phrase and we've probably experienced it a few times, I know I have. It was a couple of ego deaths... Also known as a rude awakening

[@yougotgroove]

@anoncspan4129 yes! Through shadow work! Meditation will also help you sort through your subconscious mind. Suppressing the shadow self is common... we can't grow until we do this....very important point

[@karinhare2271]

I love myself and take excellent care of myself and that makes loving someone else like me so much easier.

[@addiskassa5165]

That is very true!❤

[@nicolelouis8968]

Matthew Hussey is very wise and picks up all the concerns another partner might have for relationship. This self love incessant talk never has totally resonated, but this conversation and relationship coach does. Wish I had heard this before to take better care of 'my human'. I often wonder if I was born in the wrong generation, I guess we can only keep trying, no matter what age. Have been beyond hurt,

[@orielwiggins2225]

I cannot tell you how much this helps. Lewis your way of interacting with your guests is the best style I've seen/heard. Thank you so much for being willing to share your experience with Martha and that convo. You put into words exactly where I am, so much better than I ever could have if I'd even tried. I know my values, but those are my exact top three priorities and I'm single and not even looking or interested in dating at present, but the relationships I have with the closest people in my life is #3. Also your discussion following where you both talk about what those three mean is so valuable. Especially that health includes all facets, purpose changes and may eventually include being a parent, but it's based on the calling I have and need to start in good health to know if and when that shifts. I've had my priorities all off most of my life even tho my values have not changed. I idolized a relationship and invested in the toxic person and our unhealthy marriage over my own health and calling and I'm finally twenty years later putting myself and my health first and foremost. Then calling.

[@jp_4797]

the last 20 minutes or so of this podcast was exactly what i needed to hear. im definitely going to be implementing this belief and sharing this with people who struggle around me. such a great switch in perspective.

[@user-od5ki5km1i]

Validation is complementary. Some people don't want to be asked about what they need, some just need affection, doing a kindness, calling out of the blue and saying what are you up to, just thinking about you,a short conversation a quick connect.

[@elizabethmeulenbelt2850]

This is probably my favorite podcast for both parties. There was so much takeaway here, and the best that I've seen of Matthew. Thank you.

[@lewishowes]

Love hearing that from you!

[@Swanselm]

I would’ve changed if I knew where I needed to put more effort into. People need to also learn to communicate their needs and expectations. You can’t just have these one sided expectations and expect the other person to just know

[@georgiallmd]

The part about self love is so profound and brought me to tears. Thank you both 🙏

[@KellyBremer]

Matthew totally gets it. I love the interviews between him and Lewis. Two super solid guys that set an excellent example for others. I pre-ordered Matthew’s book and am excited to read it. Thank you! ❤✨

[@desuka5758]

Universe just called me to finish myself with this kind of situation. Keep waiting and wanting this person can turn back and knowing this person won’t let me in his world anymore. Kind a sad to say this here but thanks Matthew and Lewis for this beautiful video. What a great video to me find a way knocking my wall of heart.

[@nabilamashnoon7092]

One of the best podcasts I have watched till now. Hands down!! Surely buying his book.

[@lewishowes]

Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching!

[@lindamac45]

I ended a 30+ yr marriage for continuous deception.. Also ended an 11 year friendship with a man who took more than he gave because I thought he would grow.

[@healingwithpatience]

Love You Matthew Hussey!! You are one of the most genuine men and I know you must have such a tragic and amazingly triumphant backstory to have so much wisdom, insight, and genuine care for others!! I hope you know you Rock everyday!! 💖

[@TeaRose9]

Love this!! Thank you for saying this because I definitely knew I shouldn’t get married when I was walking down the aisle but couldn’t bring myself to turn around and walk out. My first marriage was for our child I had already had.

[@orielwiggins2225]

Oh my gosh. Thank you both. Matthew, your work is fantastic and I'm so excited for you, since I found you around a decade ago and it's been great to watch you learn and shift and grow as I've done the same. Your perspective here on loving yourself is a subtle, but important shift for me. It took decades for me to be ok with the idea of self care and I still struggle with both that and liking myself a lot of days (tho I think I've fallen in love with my true character, I still have a very active inner citric and trauma therepy is helping). But this idea of me being the only human I'm responsible to nurture and grow and such, I mean it's likely just semantics, cuz I already have a mindset (that I fail to stay in) of treating myself the way I would my beloved daughter whom I've given everything even my health for. I will be re watching this several times cuz that and some other things were enough of a language change that I think it's helping take the positive pieces I've finally collected and starting to put them together like the whole picture they were supposed to be decades ago. Thank you both so much.

[@laurad1487]

I had to make him think he was the one leaving, beacause every time i tried to end it, he would go silient just to the point of maximumgrief and pain, then return all apologies and sweetness. I had to end it by breaking his 2 "conditions", something that he calibrated to go against everything i am. It was like falling on the sword myself or holding the grenade with the lit fuse instead of throwing it, the hardest but most necessary thing I've ever done.

[@ousontmeslunettes9891]

Beautifully written.

[@orianagarzonmartinez9577]

Tell us more!!

[@mygoodeyeclosedCC]

Proud of you 👏🏻

[@lala5061]

Yes yes...mine was abusive in every way...he literally said he was a reactor I think i figured this out after many years finally he tells me towards the end several times "im a reactor" 🙄 so i had to make him so uncomfortable that he would decide to leave on his own 😅 when I kept trying to put him out it was just horrible...once he decided to cuz he thought he was hurting me it was better 🙄 freaking idiot 😂 good riddance long as it got done it didn't matter to me at that point 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@impactmakerstribe]

Love might inspire you, but effort keeps the relationship strong.

[@liseduedue2715]

Exactly ❤nobody speaks about effort or sympathy anymore. It’s all about “ me” all over… look what they say “ I would like to find someone who caress about ME, so that I can stop just to care about someone else….. what about meeeee??? The word of God say “ you should care about yourself as you care about others “!!!! So, what kind of “ love” are the world trying to teach people?? Soon everybody will be just caring themselves and we’re not far away from the narcissistic people who at the time are so badly spoken of … so where’s the limit here? This kind of promotion is a proactively attitude to make us ready for “ a new coming system “… of te world. It’s not going to work out

[@catladyandkittens]

Listen up Dumpers! This is so spot on! 🤯 But.... Honestly this was me a year ago. it's very hard to be the dumpee, but I thank everything and cherish the beautiful memories and more, since we have a wonderful child who is with me. Yes! I still have demons of toxicity in me and my emotions are still up and down but I can contain it and make myself calm and cast it away. It's all water under the bridge. As long as he is healthy and not sick, I am satisfied to see him that he is happy and content. I already forgive him and both of us are moving on, It's for my own benefits of inner peace and self love and good examples for our child, that we're going to be fine, that he's father is still around us and supporting each other in every way as a co parents. ❤❤❤

[@guitarsz]

Loved hearing you break down the priorities Lewis. You seem extremely clear on those and it’s very thought provoking and inspiring.

[@slindilengcobo3235]

Well done for this conversation with Matthew. That segment about self love is golden. His content get better all the time. I love his authenticity, his advice isn't just learnt from others , but experienced.

[@lewishowes]

👍

[@shirleylimongi1093]

Just finished watching this and I cried at the part where Matthew was describing how we should be thinking of self love. Probably the most beautiful description I’ve heard anyone explain what that looks like. Thank you so much.

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@tamarawolverton3895]

I like the priority answers Lewis shared. I am traditional that a woman is a help mate. If a man does not have health and vision there is nothing to help. If the woman helps a man with his vision he will value her as a his own flesh. This was so important to me as I have been the priority and I hate it. I always feel there is nothing to partner with.

[@amazingamy1218]

So very well said. I have felt the same.

[@SS-pz5ib]

Not necessarily

[@anoncspan4129]

The hard conversations are with myself. Yep. Absolutely.

[@eileentynan1947]

Excellent content as usual. Glad to find you on here. I do not always find your shows. Let me make sure I am hooked up. The growth and elevation of your energy is wonderful to witness. Congrats you are smashing it!! My major milestone came when the self-love kicked in and I accepted me- many years of working on reframing life and experiences- The way to experience honoring yourself and creating a healthy relationship is something that is described in a way that makes total sense. Will seek out this book!!

[@lewishowes]

Thanks for checking out the interview! It's much appreciated.

[@marianorton8190]

Mathew you bring light to my life when you emphasise our Self Love and nurturing ourselves first most ! It makes soo much sense …! Blessings to both of you .., keep up the awesome work you both do ! Thanks for sharing 🙏🏼😍🥹👌🏼✨❤️✨♥️✨

[@lewishowes]

Appreciate you for watching!

[@carlaescobar8369]

I still believe in self-care and self-love. The thing is a play of words. I grew up as an average kid, and my siblings and cousins were exceptional in school and other things. So one day, when I was in 5th grade, I looked at the mirror and said, "You're okay. It doesn't matter what they think. As long as you think you're okay, then you're okay." Self love was my strength growing up, and it still is up to this day. 😊 It just never should be perceived and defined egotistically. It should be defined soulfully, where everyone is stripped off labels and titles. 😊

[@cyndigooch1162]

Good on you and you were the most intelligent child of them all, not that it's a competition! ❤

[@cyndigooch1162]

This was an extremely beautiful, not to mention interesting, conversation, especially the my person segment at the end! It's important to add though that not all parents are capable of loving their child, or children, just for being due to their own unhealed trauma issues, which I can definitely attest to. ❤

[@user-uj4cs4ew6v]

Thank you both for this amazing talk. So much gold here!

[@blackeneddove]

I have never been so engaged in an hour and 20 minute podcast before. Especially with two individuals I have never seen before in my life. But somehow I have been brought to this video. And I am so grateful. Now not only have I finished listening, I have returned to listen for a second time. And I will be getting the book as well. Trying to determine if I am to light the fuse to blow up my life or not. I have the lighter in my hand… Thank you, Matthew.

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@gildagiven]

There's no need to blame yourself for what you did for yourself. 🌸

[@raayshreekaulesarsukul5615]

Matthew and Lewis: gold! Mindblowing!👏👏👏

[@user-py2hq3ud2h]

YES! Loved it! Fantastic episode - so interesting. I learned a lot & especially enjoyed the last 15 minutes where Matthew discussed loving yourself using the Parent Child model. Excellent advice

[@decuhka]

This episode helped me a lot with grasping the idea of selflove that we are bombarded with all day every day and we tend to feel guilty because we can not comprehend the essence of it, but "Taking care of your Human" was awesomely put

[@lewishowes]

Thank you so much for watching!

[@reneejill4033]

Wow!! I cannot wait to have the book!! Thank you for this insight.

[@julijanatomicevic7934]

Thank you very much for this video and for explaining to women as to men that love first has to start with ourselves and that women are not #1 and that that is ok and normal. We should be ourselves #1 fist in order to be there for other. I loved that! Women need to hear that more.

[@bhello99]

who we are is who we decide we are. we choose it. and in the context of if someone wants us to change, we ask ourselves is it for the better of you. and If it is, work towards that change stick to that process consistently and trully be happy genuinely happy bu doing that change and that is an act of love for youself and for the person who asks for it and to all other people around you. coz pne that benefits you will surely benefit others as well.

[@shannonreed5129]

One of the best podcasts I've heard. So many powerful nuggets in this! Thank you!! I had pre-ordered this book and it arrived on my birthday! So excited to dive in.

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@CristianeAraujoVasconcelos]

Very powerful, self-love! I understand that others are for us like a mirror once what is outside is a reflection of what is inside. Hard to understand?. What others shows us is exactly what we need to learn at that moment. There is no guilty or victims. You will never attract somebody which has nothing to do with your energy. But once the learning chapter is over, you were approved, your energy has increase, then you are ready for better ways of living. It doesn´t means things will be easier, there will be new challenges. The universe has its own laws, no one can break.

[@teraengsf]

Many gold nuggets among them his self love perspective which resonates with me. Instant paradigm shift. 🙏

[@Glowupgoddess]

Lewis always has the best questions. Matthew is one of my relationship heroes been watching him for maybe a decade since my youth LOVE THIS👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@lewishowes]

🙌

[@chilloften]

When Lewis asks about when a partner wants you to change…I was thinking of the Gottman’s. And they would say something like…I love you, I want you, I like you…and then bring up the thing.

[@poorjoan]

Yes! Matthew and Lewis, thousand thanks for sharing this interview! I learned so much 🎉

[@lewishowes]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@malikag6332]

The way you both have a conversation is awesome . Love how you both interact ❤

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@oo5240]

Wow the ending conversation sold me on buying the book 😮❤

[@melissalabrecque5163]

Thank you for sharing. This hit in so many ways. Yes, people can change. So many are walking around black and blue.

[@lewishowes]

Thank you for watching🧡

[@tabathagonzales368]

I really enjoyed watching this! Brings my soul so much hope for a healthy minded man with their priorities in order that wants to love, protect, take care of their woman. Amen to that! 🕊🙏❤

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@Theauntieyouneverknewyouneeded]

This is the second video I've watched with him and I truly can't get enough of his simple teaching of self-love. I am currently pregnant with a baby girl and all I can think about is loving myself enough so she knows exactly how to do it when she gets here. I really needed this message and can't wait to get the book.

[@lewishowes]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@hairbymichelleandbeautypar7199]

Excellent! Thanks for sharing and the book.

[@bdk722]

Love this so much! Sometimes it takes hearing this kind of truth out loud! ❤❤❤

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@vent365podcast]

Do not settle in a relationship. ❤

[@sandratomlin1477]

This conversation hit home. Thanks 💗

[@anikaray4192]

Thank you so much for this interview🙏❤️I know that finding love is not easy as well as breaking up but I realized and know on a spiritual level every relationship matters and us teaching me about self-love.We do attach to people based on how much love we have for ourselves and the separation can be painful because we experienced something through them something that attracted us to that person.We are all teachers to each other and then we have amazing people like Matthew and Lewis to unpack this for us.Deeply grateful 🙏 ❤

[@lewishowes]

You are welcome

[@anahastings2588]

You two never disappoint! Thankful for these podcasts !!

[@lewishowes]

I appreciate your support! It means a lot! Big thanks to you! 🙏🙌

[@JorgeFlores-en4zi]

INCREDIBLE!!!!! ABSOLUTELY WOW!!!!! IT'S MY JOB TO TAKE CARE OF MY HUMAN. I'm speechless. ABSOLUTELY brilliant 👏.... thank you

[@clarajimenez3386]

I deserve love just because I'm alive!! And i love everything that's alive.. there are many diferent ways of loving, gotta stick with whats good for you ❤😘

[@lewishowes]

Thank you for tuning in! :)

[@spanishgray]

Man what a powerful interview! I think that all the relationship tips and perspectives he shared are very important but the root of everything is what he described at the end: Taking care of your human 🧍🏻‍♀️ It was wow! Mind shifting perspective for sure. Thanks for this amazing conversation Matthew, Lewis 🧡

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome, thank you for tuning in 🧡

[@shrutigupta0011]

My Two mentors in one frame ..the way Matthew explained the concept of self love...that actually gave me a different Perspective...Thank you so much❣️... You guys are improving lives of many♥️

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@barbyyakubu6718]

Mattew that's very true. Most times it's not the breakup per say but your interpretations or narratives you make off it. Also note people change with time and person, so having to unchange that chemistry or lose the person and cycle used to is liken to breaking out of a bad habit, mourning or addiction withdrawal. Unfortunately many ignores intuitions and red flags, however just accept it as a blessing in disguise and God's redirection for better and walk away with gift of a smile and forgiveness. 😊

[@Kerry72100]

Self contempt and I’m my human🤯 Thank you❤

[@annap9441]

Even I am in a happy and healthy relationship for 15 years now, I learn from and love what Matthew shares, how he communicates and definitely will buy the book😊

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@CanvaVision]

I love how he explains self love.

[@lewishowes]

🧡

[@churamontgomery6063]

Thank you for sharing, totally agree. But one thing, I will never marry without love, I have to feel it, in my heart and soul.

[@lewishowes]

Thanks for watching!

[@christinaconroy2298]

Powerful message thank you 🙏 ❤

[@Journeybacktoself]

1:01:58 4 levels of importance in relationships

[@stanboymubanga8874]

I keep coming back to this episode , this is now my second time watching ❤❤thanks for sharing your wisdom guys

[@lewishowes]

🧡

[@kittykatcongregation]

I'm so grateful for Matthew Hussys work! Thank you ❤

[@lewishowes]

🙌

[@priscillahmueni868]

Such an insightful conversation. Thank you Matthew!

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.