Ren - Su!cIde (A Blind Reaction)

[@arklilbro]

The day Ren made the whole world, ugly cry

[@jeanfieler9885]

We love you, Walter. We’re so, so, so grateful you are here.💖🙏

[@bkkidd2112]

You're the first reactor I heard catch that he referred to his pain as family. Thanks Ren for sharing himself and thanks to you as well.

[@kazpwright]

Yes! Same for me about the pain as family line. It makes SO much sense.

[@SleepyWaifufu]

I feel the same way! When I heard the song first and the whole brother sister mother and father and the references it struck something. I don't think many people has picked up on that note. I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed that.

[@coreyms]

I think you’re the only one I’ve seen who interpreted certain lines the same way I did. When ya said “he’s referring to pain as his family members”. That’s how I interpret it as well. Like that’s how familiar it is to him, like family. I’ve seen some say he’s actually placing those labels on his family, which may be correct for some artists but he seems to have good relationships there. But… with art, anything is up for interpretation. Great reaction as usual

[@jeanwyenberg2774]

Agreed. Some reactors are taking when he says Useless my mother as meaning he came from an abusive family situation. I don't take it that way. If it rhymed better it would be Bruises are my brother....bruises are my sister...Useless is my Mother....Truth is my father.... I think of it that way.

[@StephanieEMT16]

You’re right. He is close to his family members. So you guys are the first I’ve seen to interpret the way he meant them.

[@madison-arts]

I agree with the exception of one part. I think he might be referring to his actual mother when he sings these lines: I can't eat, I'm nervous Won't stay down 'cause my body purges Useless, my mother, can't keep in my supper I think he's telling his mother it's no use making food for him because the lyme disease had his diet dwindling down rapidly as more and more types of food he could no longer eat. He mentions this (the diet) in some of his past videos before he began treatment. Towards the end he could only handle certain types of meat and vegetables and in small quantities.

[@coreyms]

@@madison-arts That’s a good point. That makes sense. However I saw other channels saying he was actually calling his mother useless. But that relationship seems solid. So your interpretation here is probably spot on

[@madison-arts]

The commas were a dead give away for me, (Useless, my mother, can't keep in my supper) separating her within the lines. I also wonder if when he says brother and sister he's speaking to us? As an extended family united by the same pain?

[@SR-71BlackbirdA2]

An incredible tribute to Joe and a therapy session for Ren at the end.

[@Peacetrain66]

I watched at least 10 reactions yesterday. Cried all day😢

[@endlessrage4062]

Ren made the internet cry yesterday.

[@lajoyous1568]

Still crying a week later 😢 ❤

[@jro341]

You are not alone. Ren is bringing a lot of people together.

[@hayazi96able]

....I guess I'm not the only one, and for a fact, I am not joking, I have found more than 30, which you'd be surprised how actually hard it is to find considering the amount of actual reviews there really are, they just done really good to hide them due to the "content".

[@itspickleric138]

Been watching every new reaction I’ve seen since it dropped and I still cry

[@MissMeKate]

Sending you a hug. ❤ You are important too. This song is so hard to listen to, his pain is overwhelming and flows from him. I truly believe that this song will save people. That Joe will live on in so many people who will choose to stay because of Ren's music and the conversations people have because of it.

[@margaretc5679]

💯

[@philk9227]

Ren's rawness and pain are palpable and heartbreaking. Thank you for the heartfelt reaction Walter. All the best from the UK

[@lillyvanpug]

I was really nervous about you to watch this 🥺 you are wonderful, Walter, and I am grateful to be a part of the Rooskis Sending hugs to everybody in need of one 🫂🫂🫂

[@kt_kroovy1031]

Hello Walter and fellow Rooskis ☺️ I turned on the notification for this premiere but I'm having second thoughts about attending. I watched this yesterday when it dropped. At work. The rest of the day did not go well. It's a brilliant, heartbreaking song but I'm not going to be able to endure it while at work again. I'll definitely watch your reaction when I get home, where there's plenty of tissues, an emotional support bunny and no judgmental coworker eyes upon me Love you guys... I'll be in the chat in spirit 💜🦇💚

[@JaqueDark]

I don't think there's anyone I've wanted to reach through the screen and hug more over this reaction. The heartbreaking thing is so, so, so many people can relate to this.

[@denalinde]

I’m so hopeful that this song opens up long-overdue conversations worldwide. We need to stop treating it as a dirty secret, so we can connect more honestly & with love. 💜

[@Night_Parade]

The day Ren made everyone cry…. This is hard. If anyone here is struggling to find hope, reach out to this community. If you are thinking of taking drastic measures call the suicide hotline, reach out to anyone, reach out to us! I promise there is hope. I’ve held the gun. I’m thankful and grateful I got help. My life is now optimistic and flowing with love and art and hope for a future. I never had that. Didn’t think it’s possible. It is! I promise. There is light beyond this horizon, you just can’t see it yet. There is love. You are loved and you are understood.

[@lajoyous1568]

I'm glad you got help and I'm sure I'm not alone in that. ❤

[@SilviaA.M.]

Much love to you Walter ❤ much love to everybody ❤❤❤❤❤

[@sicmuvva11]

Tears streaming down my face, what a beautiful soul this artist is.❤‍🩹

[@stonyBKLYN]

I was about to do something horrible the other night, and I heard Ren's song before I did, when you're caught up in a cloud of non stop negative thoughts while being immensely sick, I realized what I would be doing to the people who loved me, even if there aren't many and I'm still struggling. But it stopped me. I hope each day I can find a new reason to stop myself although sometimes it becomes an uphill battle you'll feel you will never win. You have to suffer and keep fighting. Love to you all.

[@lajoyous1568]

I'm glad you found Ren and his powerful words of wisdom before you made a terrible decision. It's hard to see those that love you through the fog of pain, but they are there. ❤

[@looking-glass135]

Love you too ❤

[@mnicolaou82]

Sending love to all… those who identify with Ren and also, with Joe... ❤

[@kt_kroovy1031]

An absolutely genuine, beautiful reaction Walter. I'm glad I waited until I got home to watch it. I was right there with you, tear for tear. Thanks for being in this world, friend *HUGGGGS* ❤️🦇❤️

[@christilehman-starr4428]

Good therapy Thank you Ren Thank you for doing this Walter. Much ❤️

[@jacks9624]

Hold on, Wolt! You are just human, as the rest of us... Love and support!

[@Lynnie_14]

Love you Roo❤It hits deeper than you could possibly be prepared for. Much deeper😭 #RIPJoe #LoveYouRen #Renegades #RUOkay

[@alex1014]

He said that he was 2 minutes late to the bridge where his friend jumped. I cried when I learned that.

[@MrNiccholas]

It's so unfair that suicide doesn't end the pain, it simply transfers it to those loved ones around you. The darkness is so thick it feels like I'm being suffocated. I rolled my truck almost a year ago and I'm still on disability because of the TBI I suffered. I have permanent brain damage and will likely never be able to get back to my old job or my old life. Oh how I wish I wouldn't have survived the crash. Yes, my loved ones would still mourn, but accidents happen and aren't anyone's fault. But suicide is different. I cannot put them through it. But man, I just really don't want to be here.

[@Fullsteelchef]

Love you Walter and I'm glad you're still here with us. I'm right there with you crying. Such a powerful song.

[@lynette.]

He highlights both sides of the story and the pain of the one left behind hopefully will give pause for thought.

[@Jason_xofilos]

What is amazing is how vulnerable Ren was at when he wrote this and created this video plus currently releasing to it all of us. 2nd is Ren’s loss of his childhood when he lost his innocence and feeling of immortality. He reminds me of the Maestro Tuomas Holopainen who composed most of Nightwish songs, poetry in his lyrics, and music. One theme Tuomas has is Dead Boy meaning a loss of childhood. Ren previous work seems to add meaning and us understand this video. For example, changing face of Ren walking through the cityscape suggests “eternal dancing” between darkness and light in one’s thoughts. Finally, while emphasizing the pain Ren’s friend Joe was going through also showing how hurt he was by the choice his friend Joe made along with the guilt of just possibly missing getting to Joe in time to save him or even to say goodbye plus Joe’s body was never found for closure. I am sure Ren has forgiven himself logically and intellectually but it is very much harder emotionally. In other words, the choices one makes affects more than oneself. As Aurora has sung ‘Let the River Run’.

[@helenajrgensen3157]

I'm a fan of Ren. I love Ren, and one of the reasons is; He is real. He shows what he is and what he feels. He dares to break the silence and talk about difficult subjects. The things we in today's society prefer not to show. On social media, we prefer to exhibit success and joy. But the comment trackers under Ren's music and under reaction videos give me hope. And you Walther... You contain some of the same qualities. You show emotion. You stand by them. You talk about difficult experiences. You are brave in the way you use your words. You are a role model. You are important and valuable Thanks for one more great reaction ❤

[@ethantodd4400]

Thanks for your very human reaction Walter ✊🏽 One Love Brother

[@ianhislop6782]

Thank you for sharing your reaction with us. You are so strong for knowing that it would hit you hard and just doing it anyway. Much love ❤️.

[@alanbeesby2220]

Thanks so much for being brave enough to talk about this, as well as Ren, you are helping to save lives by doing this ❤

[@williamkeith8740]

Ren made the whole world cry with this - be gentle on yourself Walter.

[@clockworkpink]

This is so tough to watch. BUT... I honestly think this is saving lives.

[@Moctipotili1]

After listening to this at the premier, I knew it would hit home with you and I was a bit timid about how it will affect you. You are loved. Thank you for sharing this moment with us.

[@giallogem]

You're emotional response too this track is the most genuine i've watched ( I've watched a lot ) I hope you're ok.

[@SkaterWillsy]

I get how you feel with this one brother. I appreciate your effort to put this out there

[@timwylie]

Thanks for sharing even though you knew it would be hard for you. I hope you don't feel pressured to do so. Thanks for always thinking of your audience and being open. It means a lot and I always look forward to your posts.

[@neilcooper2966]

Hugs mate x

[@megandrehr3420]

I cried in bed for hours after my first listen to this. Ive tried and thought about doing it so many times but always went back to how bad id hurt my true friends. There were many nights i showed up on their door step needing help

[@CreativePhotoWS]

I don't know who needs a hug more. Him, You or Me. We only spend a few minutes with you mate but we are richer for it. Thank you.

[@salishseamermaid]

Walter, i appreciate your openness and deep compassion. Please know, though, that your own well-being is more important than any reaction video. Give yourself the grace to pass on one if you don't feel ready.

[@elizabethdemerie13]

I am so proud of you for having the courage to react to this video ❤ sending you much love, positivity & healing 💖

[@_BLSS_]

This reaction made me have to subscribe. Thank you so much for your honest and raw reaction.

[@johnlasky7766]

I just want to say, i may not know you personally, but i love you all, and i want nothing but the best for you. Please, if your in the pits of depression and SI, PLEASE KNOW YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE. much love everyone ❤

[@Buzzachino]

I Will I Will Never Give Up, For Life, I Hold Dear, I Will Face Everything, Even When Filled With Fear, I Will Push Through The Pain, I Will Smile Through The Tears, I Will stay On The Path, Through The Trials And The Years, I Will Harden My Heart, To Confusion, Distraction, I Will Not Be Ignorant, And Dwell In Inaction, I Will Live, Laugh And Love, In The Face Of Mortality, I Will Not Let Evil, Change My Morality, And When My Time Comes, And I Lay Down To Rest, I Will Have Less Regrets, And Know I Did My Best.

[@Corvid76]

Rolling Stone has a new interview with Ren today. Some info we've already been told but well worth a read.

[@davew2106]

I can see how hard that was for you man,peace bro.

[@jgilmer]

Love ya dude!

[@auntiethetical]

This is the first time I’ve seen one of your reactions so I went into it knowing the song, but not knowing anything about you. Of all the reactions to this I have watched, your introduction is the most intelligent, heartfelt, and meaningful. I wanted to be able to say, “Wait! Don’t do this…” because I knew what was coming, but it was already too late. One of the most powerful things you said was that this made you think “of the context of what [you] almost put people through.” I believe that what Ren has done, by sharing his grief and loss in such a gut-wrenching way, is going to save lives. As you said, “Please, please, please don’t put people through that.” I can’t even comprehend the tragedy of him still thinking, after more than ten years, “I was late like a jerk;” still blaming himself for not running fast enough. 💔😢

[@LHartman-gj7dl]

Having watched lots of your previous Ren reactions i know exactly why that was so hard for you at the end. I cried with you. You are loved too Walter x

[@gracegrit3009]

I’ve watched the video multiple times and watched many reactions since yesterday. I was looking for your reaction. I thought this would hit you hard, as it did me because of my life experiences…and losses… and I wanted to watch with you as well. I didn’t puck up his equating his emotions as family members; that hit hard. Remember: You matter. You are important. You are loved. You are not alone.❤

[@Attabasca]

You have a great voice. The kind that lends itself perfectly to radio or podcasts.

[@KarriSimone]

What no notification!! This is super tough and can be triggering. But still beautifully sad. I feel you Walter .

[@darrenhibberd780]

Brave boy Walter, well done. Heart retching stuff.

[@AviarSavijon]

Thanks for your reaction to Ren's tribute to his friend Joe Hughs. As you stated we all have value, worth and are loved in this world and life some that we don't even know about sometimes. 988 in the US can be a call for life extention. And i can say you are loved, thank you.

[@thehangingparsiple5692]

This one's hard

[@FabiolaPlasticBones]

Hey you're here that means a lot to me, because i could see this reaction and i know you exist. I suffered, like Ren (lyme, autoimmune dissease, psychosis, anxiety), of many ilnesses both mentally (depression, chronic anxiety and adhd) and physically (leukemia), every day i wished i wouldn't wake up, bc the suffering was unbearable. Now I'm 36 and almost everything is gone, i struggled and never gave up in the hope that all of that fighting was for something. It was. I love you man and if you want to become friends I'M HERE! In Italy but it's not so faraway :) Love yourself, you're amazing and your empathy is beautiful! Fabiola xx

[@cherylrobbins715]

We are crying with you. Thank you for your honesty. Hugs.

[@margaritasaloscerdos5]

You are so special Walter, can't wait to see the reaction. Of course it is triggering, and it brings feelings and emotions we were hiding and not wanting to see. It happens not only with this song but also happens in so many other situations. But through all these years in my recovery process I have learned that, life doesn't bring or show us stuff until we are ready to handle it (this doesn't mean it is not going to be difficult or painful) and life uses whatever the tools to trigger us and make us see what we need to see to heal, to grow, to acknowledge what was still scaring us and finally, to love ourselves more. Keep going Walter and all the rooskies supporting you!

[@jadejameson5312]

Honestly, you have the best breakdown and understanding that others haven't got; including myself. And I just love you.

[@heartwork8318]

Thank you for your openness and sharing your pain just as Ren. Though hard the song and authentic reactions will help many others. Love and good vibes Walter you are special! ❤

[@MoreKellBellPlease]

I sobbed just like you. So hard to watch (hear) someone in pain.

[@lindapease620]

I watched it when it dropped. It hit me like a meteor. I sobbed till I couldn't breath. Ren is so gifted to hit that nerve in folks because he has peeled away the layers of crap that encapsulate the truth at it's core. I have an eating disorder too Walter. It's among my other addictions which I'm glad to say I'm recovered from a day at a time.Thank you for pouring your heart out. People need to see the real. Love you man!

[@annebiebrich9155]

Aww Walter ! Big comforting hugs from me to you ! ❤

[@annebiebrich9155]

I am very glad you are still here !

[@rebeccarose7405]

Thank you so much for sharing your deep emotions with us. This song rips me up every time. I don’t think it can go on the car playlist, because crying while driving is not a good thing, and I can’t imagine a time when this song won’t make me cry ugly…. ❤️

[@boxicuk1620]

❤

[@elenaorujev3494]

So very raw and heart wrenching!😢

[@deniseglenn4691]

Thank you for reacting. That was brave. God bless

[@im2yz4u17]

Your response was exactly mine. The homage--can we call it that--to his friend in the latter half was both equisitely beautiful and horrifying for rme. Over a 3 year peirod I watched my roommate slowly die of lung cancer. He was in constant pain. I was at his bedside in his last hours, holding his hand. I miss him absurd too.

[@keithpeavy8466]

Gorgeous man, thank you for the vulnerability

[@elevown]

Thanks for this man- we saw how hard it hit you - but its an important song to get out there with an important message.. I think other artists could have done the first segment of the song- but ONLY Ren coulda done that last bit - DAMN! Just like Ren I think what you do, sharing your reactions like this- helps make the world just that little bit better.

[@GregDaniel78]

I thought about you Walt when this one popped up. Stor kramisar as they say in these parts.

[@bosbornefischer]

I waited to watch this to be here for you, Rookski. You are important, and you add SO much to the reaction community. There are so many levels to this song, and it can make you think differently about so many of his other songs as well... Humble is only one example for me. I've said it before, and I say it again: Ren's discography is a process. Everyone can work at their own pace, so take breaks when you need to. Trust the Process.

[@Shiroar]

I think a lot of us felt simultaneously excited about new music from Ren and nervous about how emotional this one was sure to be. It is definitely a tough one. The recently added ending really completed the song. And made it absolutely heart wrenching. Beautiful vulnerability and song. Ren is doing something very important with his art by voicing things we don’t talk about enough. And he is bringing us together as humans that feel empathy and share similar emotions. We relate. We are less alone.

[@Freakiehippy30]

You are such a sweet and lovely man Walter

[@AndyUK-Corrival]

One of several reactions I’ve watched and first for your channel. As someone who has contemplated ending it all, I found one other reactor put it quite well when he said it’s not that you want to die but more you don’t know how to live. That is very true for me. Ren is such a master of words that hit the nail on the head for so many of us. I hope you weren’t hit too hard with this one and stay strong, you sound like a good friend to many. Andy UK

[@michellereed2070]

You're not alone. I've bawled just like you did everytime I watch this. It's painful, but cathartic as well. Yes, I can definitely relate to all of his words here. I adore Ren & his art. He's opening doors for conversations that need to happen & can save lives!! Love & light to you!

[@FaerieCastle]

I wasn’t sure if I could watch you reacting to this. I waited until I was home. I’m so glad you are still here. I’m glad I’m still here too. Most days anyway. Ren has started even more conversations with this one. And I think we all cried with him.

[@Ph4n_t0m]

Like others have expressed, I was anxious for you seeing this. I know every one of those tears Walter - when you said "Oh buddy" I was the same - doors of compassion for Ren's pain flew wide open and I sobbed with him, for him. I wanted to hold him in my arms and tell him it was all right. The whole world wants that for him. And while I only just recently am now able to see this without crying, watching you break down pushed me to tears again, because I feel so strongly for you too... I highly highly highly recommend viewing his Twitch stream he did the day after (it's still available on his page) because it's a very healing experience. He's alright. He's got a good head on his shoulders, just like you do, and a full heart of gold, just like you. I love you both and want nothing but peace and a safe life for you!

[@kazpwright]

Thank you for being brave enough to do this reaction Walter. You’re a beautiful soul. Lots of ❤ from across the pond 🇬🇧

[@SHAKED0WN.]

Have watched many reactions of this song (art) and really enjoyed your interpretation. You caught some things I hadn't thought of before. Looking forward to checking out the rest of your channel 👍

[@tristanreimann4103]

Great video on a hard subject matter, respect

[@madison-arts]

Beyond being a talented person Ren allows us to journey into the most heartbreaking parts of himself and his life in a way I've never heard from another artist. This song is so vulnerable but so daring at the same time. Most people wouldn't dare to title a song like this, or to say "that word" as he did repeatedly in this song, but it's exactly what we need. We need to be able to have open discourse about this subject matter, to rip the taboo of the word away. Only then can more people not just realize they aren't alone, but find the boldness within them to say they aren't ok and ask for help. Be safe and huge hugs to you ❤‍🩹 (From a survivor who also lost their best friend as well.)

[@insidethemachine]

Ren is a beautiful artist because he makes us face our demons. We love his music for the truth it speaks for us. Hello, Walter. It's good to make a new friend.

[@paulmichael4094]

Very awesome and humble words my friend. I hope someone that needs them hears them. I hope Ren gets to watch this reaction aswell. I think he would be vety happy.

[@noladavis5085]

Its a painful song and brought up so much for me. I was a heroin addict since I was 16. My childhood died the day I first used. Im 43 now and 3 years clean. I have lost so much and so many friends. So if you're struggling, it gets better. Hugs to you all 💙💙

[@jessicalingo4346]

It makes a lot of sense to say the bad stuff of us (that shadow side of us) as family members. No matter how much you want to separate yourself from those family members and the shadow self you are 7nable to do so. The only thing you can do is accept that it's your family and it won't let you go. Maybe in time you can distance yourself from that but there are times when that family will be there.

[@KathleenChilds]

New Rooski here! Sending lots of love to you Walter!

[@annemorgan2064]

Hey Walter, this one is so painful, I agree it covers all sides of suicide. I said this before, I consider you a friend, thank you for being her still. Sharing your experience but also your message of the value of each of us is a powerful and brave message. Love you Walter, you are valuable. Much much love

[@christelsegbars1630]

A hug from a stranger from Holland, ❤❤❤

[@craseyflung1011]

I appreciate you for sharing your story here as well as in the one I think it was “how to be me”, when you read your letter and told your story. It lead to my daughter and I having an important and honest conversation about this and many things. She just so happened to be listening to music and music reactions with one of my earbuds while I was using the other one when your reaction came on. She is 11 and many people might think that is too young to talk about this stuff, I know that my parents never did. Anyway, I love your input and your positive attitude, and your real emotion when you hear and sing a great song. Keep up the good work. This world is a better place because of you, and Ren and many other people, because of the work you two both do.

[@bob2shred894]

Mate, I hope your ok after this one. We are all hear for you.

[@vermillion1735]

This song definitely ruined me, for days. It's a hurt I keep coming back to, listening again and again... And watching any reaction to it I can dig up. This is an excellent and thoughtful reaction to this song. I appreciate you and all the rest of the RENegades. 💚

[@loisbest77]

Sending you a hug from over the pond in England. ❤

[@jasonstewart3996]

This one is hard to take. The song itself is so good. Typical Ren masterpiece. But I have had a few friends commit suicide and one of my very best friends. I cried so hard at the end. But it's a topic that needs to be talked about. And Ren as we know understands this so he's not just singing a song. He's created another masterpiece that deals with real things and they need to be dealt with. So kudos to Ren and kudos to you my friend. Walterooskie I love you and you are awesome and you matter

[@jasonstewart3996]

Brother I need you to know that you are worth it. I don't know you but I feel like I do because I follow you and have seen your pain and your happiness thru music. So if only from afar I can tell you that you are something special my brother and I love you and so do many others that watch you. You are genuine and intelligent and your reactions bring out true feelings wether they are good or bad they are real. So than you for being you

[@emiliostrange]

there are songs for certain times of hurt and pain in life. when my mother passed in 2021 i had "Shoemaker" by Nightwish that touched me enough to alway make me cry. this year a dear friend of mine was lost to alcohol and its effects on the body and there it is .. the song i can cry to thinking of him ...

[@carladicarlo3255]

I saw the live and knew this would be hard for you. It’s hard for all of us. You my friend are a beautiful sensitive soul and even though I don’t know you personally, I found you, and Ren, at a time when I really need kindness and empathy and understanding in my life. Thank you.

[@lyndsayricardi3462]

I love the hypnotic sound that comes right off the bat…it’s reminds trancelike feeling that RATM lures you in with…drawing the listener followed by the repetition brilliance of a word or phrase to strengthen the impact of the message. To do that with something we are taught to suppress is not only but imperative. It get locked in just like a catchy, melodramatic tune that gets stuck in your head ….. next thing you know your singing it aloud in the grocery store and passing it on. What a brilliant way to dust off a word that can be found in a dictionary of any language to raise awareness, understanding and conversations. There is a reason that brushing things under the rug and ignoring a room full of elephants has a negative connotation. Now, when my head aches with depression I pop on a dose of Aspren and Prozach 👊🏼👊🏼👊🏼love you for making me happier

[@darthgambo1]

We all got emotional at the end my friend.. I think we all have so much in common these days..We are all in this together.. Great Reaction man..

[@DavidSmith-cc5hk]

I love you, Walter. Be well.

[@mama-llama4527]

My gosh you are brave. Brave, genuine, and compelling. I’m so glad you are here with us.