REPRESENT YOURSELF AGAINST NARCISSIST IN COURT: ONE MOM'S BATTLE W/ TINA SWITHIN AND DR RAMANI

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REPRESENT YOURSELF IN DIVORCE AND WIN//Do you want to know how to represent yourself in divorce court or in a custody case/battle and actually win? Tina Swithin, who founded One Mom’s Battle, did just that. Dr. Ramani @doctorramani, the foremost expert psychologist in narcissism also offers her wisdom in expertise on the mind of a narcissist during these court cases, sharing what causes narcissism and what makes narcissists tick. Tina’s blog caught the attention of Christie Brinkley when the press attention shed light on her well-known custody battle with a narcissist. This is Part 1 of a 2 part episode. This is truly an inspirational David-slew-Goliath story. If you are dealing with a narcissist in court and don’t have the money to hire a lawyer, find out the exact steps Tina took when she decided to go pro se (also called pro per) in her case.
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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
• REPRESENT YOURSELF AGA...

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Want to know more about how to represent yourself in court against narcissists? Join me in this FREE webinar and discover the simple, powerful strategies I teach all my clients. Click here to sign up now:👉 www.rebeccazung.com/live

[@cathleenburton-noble418]

Upon clicking here, I got a page that says, 404 not found. Is there another way to get to webinar? I am not computer savvy.

[@adiosamerica3948]

I beat my narcissist in court by simply letting him talk.

[@KJ-gx7bg]

That’s how I got my restraining order and admission of several restraining order violations, but the system failed me because they didn’t follow through

[@trueleo4103]

I’m doing that on Monday. Exhausting getting ready. So many lies. I’m doing my best to write an Affidavit that is short and to the point

[@KJ-gx7bg]

Welp here we go back to court on another ICC violation, let’s see what happens

[@djbond6241]

😂🤣😂🤣😂🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🎼🎵😘😎🤗🤗🤗🤗congrats

[@djbond6241]

I LUV MOMMA RAMANI XOXO FROM YOUR FAVORITE SEXY ASS DJ'S FROM VENUS HERE IN DA CHAT NOW SENDING YOU LOVE,MUSIC LIGHT,SEX MAGIC ETC. AND HEALING FROM NARCISSISTIC ABUSERS,NARCISSISTS AND PREDATORS 2/13/2022 THANK YOU FOR THE EDUCATION & INSPIRATION..🐆🐾🐅🐾🐅🐾🐯🦁🐾🐱🐈🐾🐱🐾I LUV MOMMA RAMANI & HER KITTY TOO..🐈🐱

[@chayukykenig3055]

16:20 most important part of this video: most therapists won't recognize it as narcs behavior and instead encourage the victim to try working it out or deal with her emotions, not recognizing it as narcissistic abuse. She is very lucky indeed

[@amaraci]

My therapist is with me, but the family court system here, in Denmark, still considers this just a high-conflict case. They want you to be nice to the abuser at all costs. That, in my case, for instance, gave the abuser more and more ammunition.

[@aldonalee1665]

I am so glad to hear Tina , My battle started in 2009 ... alone in the court , still standing.

[@mymusic4821]

From 2009 till 2020 ....?

[@anonymusannonymanonym686]

From 2017 until now - pregnany included until 2014

[@VinayTruth]

Ooh so they prolong so long

[@Miami11155]

My battle started now, it’s exhausting, to proof that he is narcissists....

[@jenniferc.2514]

This is not okay! Why? Prolonging this crap wastes years of quality time with our children, with life! This only perpetuates trauma, trauma, and more trauma!

[@suzannedawson4120]

Finding the right therapist = Divine intervention ❤️❤️❤️

[@pamelapap]

The huge fear of leaving a stranger, a judge, to make such important decisions is horrible. Then the narchole trying to manipulate your children is THE worst feelings.

[@av201]

Yeah, and she was CORRECT...tons of judges and lawyers are NARCISSIST THEMSELVES! They almost always have more sympathy for the poor, poor MAN who has to pay the bills instead of the women who are abused and tortured psychologically by these sick bastards.

[@JulieAnneBCarter]

Child Services does NOT recognize Narcissistic abuse, in any way whatsoever. Psychological, Emotional, and Spiritual Abuse, are absolutely disregard.

[@ahsadeseidynalybey7814]

Agreed

[@martindiva]

That's the worst when someone tells you to just try to work it out with them, then you know they really truly don't get it.

[@hawaiigirl8089]

The HIGH CONFLICT, WOULD NEVER BE IF FAMILY COURT JUDGES WERE SERIOUS & STOPPED BEING OVER PAID CLOWNS 🤡

[@deborahwilcox5716]

Lol

[@tarnishedliving1570]

You guys are saving my life and my sanity. I'm subscribed to both channels and preparing myself for battle. I am feeling more empowered! Thank you thank you thank you!!!!! Binge watching for the past 2 weeks now.

[@TheTaylordconnor]

Did you file yet?

[@Samua3]

Same here!! I am already feeling a lot more confident. What will be will be. As long as he no longer has that horrendous hold over me I can get my life back. I may lose some fights along the way, but I will have won the war. I can't live like this, with his constant abuse and never knowing when it will explode in my face. I need this whole situation to be disarmed for good so he can never even phone me up again. These videos are very more-ish when you need answers fast.

[@suecarlton3122]

as I am listening it is like I am hearing my own story... CPS, Minor's Counsel, sheriff, and court continue to not protect my children who my ex has kidnapped and kept from me for more than 16 months. all of the systems are completely broken and refuse to actually do anything to help anyone. I am beyond frustrated and sad but keep trying. thank you for the inspiration to continue my battle. I will be looking up your blog for sure, Tina! I wish I would have found it many many months ago. You are truly an inspiration when I was just feeling lost and almost completely defeated. May you be blessed with continued love and support!

[@juli6497]

Our family court judge also handled criminal cases and would schedule family court cases to follow criminal so if/ when they ran long the family court cases would be rescheduled for 4-6 weeks later. So, you wouldn't know if you had a court appointment for sure until the morning of the appearance. Then you would find out it was postponed 4-6 weeks later. This went on month after month. I went deep in debt over attorney costs without ever going to court.

[@livingfree7153]

😡. So sorry! Family law is a joke!

[@ohthelovelypoems]

OMG, talk about insult upon injury. What a crappy system, no consideration of average people's lives and the hoops to go through just to get their day in court.

[@Fakeid-p3o]

Is beautiful to see that smart women are here to inform/ educate the word about this topic. Enough is enough with the bullishT everybody should be aware of the “ narcissistic pattern “. I think should be introduced as a “ subject “ in high school. Will prevent many humans from suffering then the kids being use in their narcissistic game

[@livingfree7153]

Yes!! 🔥🔥🔥

[@oliilo216]

In 2008 the courts gave some legal custody to my ex. My children grew up without a mother. I was a good mom. My oldest was beat up and kicked out of their house when he was 16. I still battle with division of child support. I can't even get a driver's lic at this point. My kids are adults, my ex makes 100k year. I live in my car I can't even legally drive. It's not fair. Not to my boys or me

[@av201]

Can you reach out to a domestic violence organization? As for living in your car, please try to get financial assistance. You qualify.

[@geraldthethird8082]

I had a very similar situation. Except father kicked kids and I out on street due to domestic abuse I lived with 4 kids in a car for 5 months . He was so narcissistic he made every one believe I was the abuser so I got know help . I got custody in court by that time I had a home . He had visitation on weekends turned my kids to hate me as I was loving them no different if anything working harder to care for them . Now 2 of my sons live with him and now he has turned my youngest son against me . This whole time he has only paid support 3 out of 20 . Now he is taking me to court to get full custody. I feel so heart broken . And think all the times I protected my kids from his rage and abuse my kids would be so brainwashed yo their own hurt.

[@kaseywilliamson228]

This is as if someone was telling my very own story!! Wow! Such an inspiration. Thank You!!!

[@tiffanygeorge178]

Same here! An exact replica of my life story! Best wishes to everyone! 🙌🏽

[@ayceleijae]

I was thinking the same thing! It’s so similar it’s eerie!

[@me4841]

This sounds like what has been happening to my brother. I think we should understand that women can have narcissist personality disorder. It is like a split personality where she acts "normal" towards people and evil/cruel to victims.

[@Kingdom_of_God777]

Yes indeed My sister is an alcoholic narcissist and possibly a sociopath as well I have never experienced the physical abuse from her which I am aware is typical in the male narc abuser > female victim relationship I can promise you however that 40+ years of interacting and communicating with her has been pure nonsense, insanity, and absolute hell nonetheless Her modus operadi is pure denial deflection gaslighting blame shifting and playing the victim herself Whenever I grey rock her like an uncaring robot the usual comments I get; “Are you okay?” “Is something wrong with you?” “You don’t make any sense” “That’s not something a normal person would do” “I don’t remember doing anything that would deserve you doing that to me” I do not answer any of her questions because that’s only her attempt to maintain control and instead IF I answer then I answer with another question Usually she’s stupid enough to answer but it’s never truly a real answer > too vague and unrelated to my question anyways Sometimes I just say “whatever” to anything she talks about no matter what it is One time she said “that’s a very immature thing for an adult man to say” I replied “ok sorry you think that” lol 😂 She was furious but speechless which is a good thing because narcissists also chronically suffer from a condition I refer to as oral diarrhea By the way I would welcome the opportunity to confront one of these male demon abusers who think torturing a woman is a good thing They wouldn’t stand a chance

[@karliann1]

My daughter is a narc socio drug addict I have sole custody of my granddaughter and now she aligned with the person who at 1st gave me most of my evidence but i moved and changed my number now they're both after me. It's evil and they post about God all the time meanwhile they're Jezebel. My daughter does s×x for money and the other one's a stripper

[@AngCJ-18444]

So much of her story sounds like mine... thank you for sharing. Omg yes its so frustrating trying to explain it to people. They just don't get it and the system completely fails you at every turn. As the victim you are silenced and in a way handcuffed from obtaining justice and safety for your children

[@clc3829]

I can relate to Ms. Swithin's story. I survived a very similar "co-parenting" experience with a malignant narassist whom valued money and status above all else - it was world war three for almost 9 years. At the time our family court case was one of the highest family court conflicts in Maricopa County (Arizona). The only others above it were his first case with the other ex and his son and my daughter's half brother.. and probably his own half brothers court case!! You could see the full history online at the time, I'm pretty sure you still can. It's baffling how he had two high conflict family court cases and they could not see the common denominator of the harassment taking place. Another difference was that I never married the narassist. I was "lucky" (horrible choice of words) that I started seeing and paying attention to the red flags and sensed something was "not right" with him before I even knew of the term narassists existed. In fact, the week of learning I was pregnant I had already begun plotting my escape, with the help of my sister and brother in law. This was also when I learning he had intentionally gotten me pregnant. That served to solidified my understanding that I was dealing with a very devious and dangerous man. Even more over when he came out and asked me "are you pregnant?". That question floored me because I had not so much as indicated the possibility that I may be pregnant. I had left work early that day with a couple friends from work. We went to a drug store for a pregnancy test - he could not have even known I took it in the bathroom that afternoon unless he was following us. I had morning sickness for the first time that morning at work and had not even realized I skipped a day of my cycle. This was after less than 3 months of cohabitating with him. I vomited right after because I watched the two lines appear. I knew there was no true escape if he found out. I wish I had lied when he asked that question. But being an empath, not knowing the narassists patterns and not understanding what was about to take place. I was a very honest person, I could not lie to save my own life. The biggest tell all for me was watching him continuously treat anyone in a lesser service position like lowly servants. Watching him deny his own son who was only 3 years old a piece of his own birthday cake, or anything sweet or deemed "unhealthy". I began seeing manipulation in his every day interactions. I started to see his facade slip quicker than any other woman he dealt (he has had several before and after me) It only took me 3 months of living with him and finding out I was pregnant to see that I was to him, an object. He would brag about his degree, his home in the "best planned community in the country" at the time in Athem Arizona. I even caught him bragging about his beautiful girlfriend that was about to have his baby. Vomit.. I got out right after I learned I was pregnant. My sister and brother in law staged a swift unannounced intervention. I was only 19 - barely beginning adulthood. Oh yes I wholeheartedly agree that CPS is very broken. They substantiated child abuse with my ex narassist (only because he left a substantial amount of bruises on our 4 year old and then sat me down to tell me). I took my daughter directly to Phoenix Children's hospital and let the doctors call police and notify CPS. However, Arizona prosecutors office decided not to prosecute. After one year of an Order of Protection and zero time in jail he was back to having visitation. He had only been a part of our daughter's life for 6 months prior to the physical abuse. It's a long story as to why that was the case but it was obvious he had no desire to actually be a dad when he ghosted for the first three years only to have a "I found God moment" and make his return demanding he have rights in her life. I have dealt with every court professional known in the family court Therapeutic Interventionist, Parenting Co-ordenators, GAL'S, CPS, Social Services. $60,000 in attorney fees in the first couple years while I poured myself into studying family law. I also had to study appeals law to responded with my own rebutting brief in the Court of Appeals when he appealed the retroactive child support. I won the appeals case against his prominent Appeals Attorney, to my own shock and surprise. This gave me the confidence to continue pro-per aka pro-se in family court for the next 7 years. And wouldn't you know it he used the court as his weapon, even filing civil lawsuits on three occasions. Without fail every motion I made to the family court requested a psych evaluation. Every. Stinking. One. For 7 years. It took 7 years for our family court judge to order one. Once the judge did.. poof, the narassist was ready to sever his parental rights. After putting on the facade that he was just a loving dad wishing to be active in his daughter's life and I was in his way. (I could write a manuscript for lifetime movie network and most would not believe it was a true story). Arizona Juvenile court even broke the state laws to remove his parental rights. I was a single parent with no party that could legally adopt. By the time it hit the Juvenile court there was a paper trail of police and CPS involvement, along with a school principle and staff willing to fight the battle with me. My daughter is now has CPTSD and undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. Children suffer greatly, they are used as pawns in sick twisted revenge plots. My heart is with anyone dealing with this. You all have my deepest sympathy, empathy and prayers!! Stay strong - keep fighting and never give up on your children!! Where there is a mother's will (or father's) their is a way to defeat a narassist, it's never giving up!! They will wear you down to the point of exhaustion, yes but keep finding that will to fight and know you are not alone!!

[@nadaoneill5412]

Same feeling. World war three. You nailed it!

[@rugyjoy]

Wow. I am so sorry you had to deal with this. I. Sorry that your daughter had to experience this. But I’m so happy that you are a fighter. Thank you for sharing this. . I am currently in the starting phase with my 3 month old. I’d love to connect with you. I have so many questions.

[@Amelia-fd9zq]

Omg... I am so validated... it made me cry in recognition of my own trauma and still trying to get through custody with a narcissist. Tina, you are brave and inspirational. Thank you.

[@nataliasolakian6717]

The narcissist always turn the tables on you. You just have to work in silence especially as women don't show too much emotions. Be shrewd. They are very cunning you have to outsmart.

[@mesha0932]

I’m currently divorcing a narcissist and he is financially abusing me. He was beating me and cheating on me during the marriage but he’s made it his mission to make me look like a monster. He’s broken into my home, took all three of the cars, and fought for 50/50 custody when he never wanted anything to do with our son when we were together.

[@anaislake]

five years in a divorce process ... the narc will only be happy sitting on top of me with his junk pile ... while both my child and i watch our lives disappear .... i have faced every judge, mediator, clerk, everyone i see in our county courthouse i tell the same story over and over and over ... having my child tell the story now that he is sixteen ... doing my best. i have shared your divorce playlist with the courthouse. i choose to educate as i go ... as associate professor on hiatus homeschooling my child ... i fear not to tell the truth over and over and over. we have to educate the court and everyone involved in family law. for me family law is corrupt and i find corruption at every step.

[@mmanda515]

@@bobbiwilliam6811 Not only was her comment not relating to trust or proof via cell phone... Sadly... have seen these EXACT same reply messages under MANY videos. Far too many. Pretty much cut-paste carbon-copies of each other, too. So, speaking of 'trust' .. How trustWORTHY is it to come in, to comment, to PRETEND; taking FULL advantage of people during their most vulnerable & worst possible moments.. ??? All, just to spam & sell some bs app?! smh. Whomever... should all be ashamed.

[@Somebodysomewheresometime]

They would not let me even bring narcissism up - my lawyer would not watch the videos.. it’s so infuriating

[@NeasTube]

Guess what happens when you need a restraining order, but the narciccist is a lawyer who hires a lawyer. Double the cruelty. If I didn't have money for my own legal counsel, I'd have no hope at all.

[@sharonkende4774]

Lucky...

[@Indigorose44]

Mine took it a step further; he’s representing himself and the court is allowing him to torture me on the stand. They have pd cam, refuse to make any accommodations and the prosecutor denied an article explaining how the courts can avoid this for dv victims. It’s like Wilmington Delaware is enjoying me crumble. I’ve never experienced such cruelty and lack for human well-being . I lose all of my assistance now. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Praying for you ❤

[@annaovercash3199]

I always knew something was wrong, 12 years of fighting & I am being railroaded, someone, hear me, someone, please help me, please. My son is 13 are there IS mental abuse to both him and myself! help me, someone, please

[@MyBABIES2019]

They know how to hurt us- my children are the reason I am Still alive after fighting cancer . My children are ready to go to court and testified themselves

[@me4841]

Failed the kids is right! CPS can be horrible! Some CPS reps are so corrupt and should be prosecuted and never allowed never childern.

[@healthpath7765]

I need help getting my kids out of that toxic environment

[@CJ-hz1uj]

Know so many men and women that have been through, or are still going through this. The narcissistic person in these situations will try to appear to be protecting their husband or wife or kids while they are really just seeking to disrupt, to control, and even destroy.

[@plnthrd]

OMG Tina! Your history of therapy is 100% the same as mine...I went through 7 years of therapy and my wife refused therapy claiming I was the one with the mental problems and not her. 😞

[@brendadavis9044]

I was also fortunate also finding a therapist right away that recognized what he was. I actually manipulated him to come with me to see her to tell her what was "wrong with me". He showed his true colors right away. Later she told me there was absolutely no talk therapy or drugs that will cure him. She gave me the strength to leave. Thanks to Jeannette Murphy Kokomo Indiana.

[@templehillsfunk]

I'm about to go into a custody hearing a month from now against a narcissist and I've watched seemingly 100 videos on KZbin regarding how to face a narcissist in court. I now, know why one lawyer on KZbin suggests that you don't call the opposing parent a narcissist. The reason is, there seems to be a fine line between narcissist and normal. 💡

[@rosebeard2866]

Your right Rebecca lawyers that aren't experienced in this truly don't understand what your going thru

[@catherinekraft-urkow445]

What about the narcissist who is so worried about his image durning the divorce, so much so that he is now on his best behaviour?

[@kyleejoy9051]

This.

[@navinknows4411]

I 100000% understand what & how you felt. My girls & I lost everything & I am spending last $10 to get to mediation & hope the notary doesn’t cost more than 2.25cents. He destroyed us 10 yrs ago & ripped my shoulder out of socket- it still falls out every year even though I got him escorted out of my home that night forever. of course they wouldn’t take it into evidence. But he dug such a strange hole for himself that it confused all in court room. I am happy to help & now that I know there’s videos up I finally feel calm & know we deserve peace, unconditional love as I had growing up & will rebuild the company that took me 18 yrs to build alone as legacy for my daughter. No thank you to any rage filled, criminal people. Thank you all ❤❤❤❤

[@lauramarieking8838]

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT MY DAUGHTER 53 YEARS OLD IS GOING THROUGH, UPPER MIDDLE CLASS.... HE HAS HAD HER THROW IN JAIL...SHE NO MONEY, NO LAWYER, HE FILED FOR DIVORCE AND HAD HER SERVED IN JAIL....SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL, EDUCATED, COLLEGE GRADUATED, TEXAS TECH, OWNED HER HOME, SUCCESSFUL CAREER WITH JOHNSON & JOHNSON PHARMACEUTICAL REP... AFTER 13 YEARS SHE IS A SHELL....💔 LOST EVERY THING...LOOKS LIKE A WOMENS SHELTER FOR HER AFTER JAIL....NO ONE UNDERSTANDS...SHE IS NOT ALLOWED TO EITHER HOME, HAS NO CAR, NO MONEY, HE HAS SMEARED HER NAME...WE LIVE IN 15,000 PEOPLE TOWN...EVERYONE KNOWS EVERYONE...SMEAR SMEAR...HORRIBLE THINGS, SCREWS EVERY GUY WALKS BY, LIE LIE, DRUG ADDICTED, ALCOHOLIC, ON AND ON... HE HAS EVEN HAD HER PUT IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL...SH...AND VOMIT ON THE WALLS.. LEFT HER THERE, NO VISIT, DIDN'T TELL ANY FAMILY MEMBER, LEFT HER THANKSGIVING, CHRISTMAS BY HERSELF, EVERYONE HAD VISITS THAT DAY BUT NOT HER... IM HER MOTHER, MY HUSBAND, HER DAD HAS PASSED AWAY...WE ARE ON OUR OWN...PLEASE PRAY GODS MERCY AND GRACE....HE WANTS HER TO KILL HERSELF....PLEASE PRAY...EVERY PLACE WE TURN, DOOR SLAMMED IN FACE....PROMISE YOU THIS IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THE REALLY BAD SITUATION....

[@laurahall1112]

Laura, I am sorry for all you are going through and omg for your daughter. I am not sure of your beliefs but everything you have said has touched my heart.I am on this page because I myself have been married to a narcissist for about 30 years,3 kids are now 18 and over. I am headed into divorce court on the 23rd. But something you said absolutely rang true for me.He (the narc) has absolutely wanted nothing more then for me to end my life.I believe these people to be demons on earth which means our battle is not with courts and hospitals, it is with aligning ourselves with God because I believe, he is in charge of everything and everyone.Prayers for you and daughter and family.

[@choc_pretzel8324]

31:06 onward it literally gold!!! thank you so so much re Narc Judges!!!! i was gaslighting myself. READY TO WIN WIN WIN!!!

[@GeorgenMorales-eu8fr]

Rebecca and Doctor Ramani i connected the dot, i just congratulated myself that i understood

[@m.asammy3049]

This is a kind post as you are a lawyer and it is so appreciated.Thank you.

[@annesom5648]

The amazing thing to me is how they come up with such crazy lies.

[@nicolestoicaonly]

Im going back to court on an Order of Protection i filed against my abusive husband. I have lots of evidence but i don't want to overwhelm the court. My main goal is full custody and only supervised visitation. How do i conceal this goal and obtain it?

[@frankvalle2864]

Hey I'm going through a very similar thing that accept the narc is my child's mother it's been a year and her first overnight visit with my daughter and she also has a little baby in foster care a year old the baby came back look like choke marks under the neck. I have no idea of she is capable to have them believe that she didn't cause that by neglect or whatever. Her lawyer is the president of the Bar Association. But she's showing her ass. I want to go to court and get full custody I wonder if that's possible how did it work out for you

[@joydavis1670]

Many years ago, I went to multiple therapists, specifically within the church. Everyone pretty much said to "pray about it" & " let your light be his light"..... Basically saying, "You're stuck, find a way to work it out & and remember to smile. And don't forget, if things go south, it's your fault because you didn't pray hard enough or shine bright enough". It's really quite sad.

[@B.I.-EIO_macdonald9786]

I’ve been looking for a lady like you master negotiator with a soul 😁

[@heathershaffer6148]

Consider that your therapist might themselve be narcissist if they are defending your narcissist. I've been in autism support groups I've had to leave because the mods forbid the mention of narcissistic abuse, saying it's ableist. Turns out the mods were narcs. Be careful.

[@fulloffiresagittarius2944]

Wow completely resonated with me, and at the same age! Thank you, mine is a divorce atty and its taking me almost 6 years to go back to court and will represent myself. Im scared as hell, and will prob look like a dear in the headlights. Im not going to give up though. Your an inspiration, thank you all 3 of you!

[@susanpuckett7682]

Amazing information. THANK YOU!!

[@Level4Bio]

All of this is worthless if the judge preciding over the case is a Narc.

[@sarahbethjones7829]

This was so powerful! Thank you ladies so much for this enlightenment!

[@StayStrongMamas]

Tina describing the day she was served with papers and the court case number as the day she was given her own personal terrorist... puts into words something I never have been able to describe so accurately. I am 6 years into a high conflict custody battle with a narcissist and the more educated I become I also feel some guilt for not knowing what I was up against... and thinking if I had known then what I know now. I spent $100,000 in the first 2 years after being served papers by my x for custody of our infant... and every day felt like I was in twilight zone. I had custody of my sons for the first 2 years of his life and when he turned 2 his father was granted sole legal and physical custody... the firm fired my attorney 2 days later... I was trying to tell people but didn’t have the terms or words to describe my x and what I was up against. Everyone wanted us to just get along, give him what he wants, you can’t afford to disagree. I have a masters degree in nursing education and work as a RN with children. I have been representing myself for 3-4 years, filed an objection, was granted but never heard by Judge... My real question is: How did you keep yourself going Tina? I find that I only have so much emotional strength... I have a therapist, good friends/support, I pick my battles, follow all the rules but I’m playing an unfair game... I have been labeled the “problem” because I won’t stop fighting for my son. Every time we walk into court the referee rolls his eyes and says to the 2 of us “oh you 2 again”... the last time I filed a motion I asked for friend of the court to do a parenting time evaluation as the parenting time we follow now is from when our sons was 2 and he will be 7 this month and the referee denied it and then order I pay my x attorney fees! I feel this is the referees was of telling me to stop coming back and asking for more parenting time. I can’t afford and attorney, filled bankruptcy and now have to pay my x attorney fees for asking for more time? When I take a blow like that... I retreat and feel like it will never change and I will never be heard. How does one keep going when for 6 years it has been the definition of insanity... doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result?

[@aliastewart5403]

I would plan a counter attack in which you get you and ya sun to prove how abusive he is. Manipulation. Call acs on him everytime he has your sun. Everytime he's In your presence provoke him to react then call the police first. Then file for custody of your sun. There are tactics you can use against him since he has sole custody then call cps. Show up to his house for visitation create a fight call the police first get him arrested.

[@aliastewart5403]

Flip the script on their asses. They told you what to do.physical abuse sticks in DV.

[@Devil36022]

Absolutely NOT!!!!! Do NOT waste social services time with bs petty games! You learn how to deal with these types of ppl, everything that you suggested is EXACTLY WHAT THE NARCISSIST WANTS YOU TO DO!!!!!!

[@GW-gz8jh]

The narcissistic ex I dealt with randomly would text about conversations and issues that were never discussed or brought up talking about agreements that were never made and prints them out and presents them in court as “proof” these verbal conversations took place. For example he’d text “I’ll be there to pick up Jane at 6pm.” When I’d reply it’s not his visitation day and I have no idea what he’s talking about he’d reply something like “You stated last week I could have Jane at 6 today. You said you were willing to coparent better and now you’re saying no at the last minute and playing games. The court isn’t going to like that you’re using our child as a weapon and not following through on agreements with me and with Jane. You’re going to confuse and hurt her not me” and unfortunately it’s worked at times. How would you go about countering those types of tricks?

[@ahsadeseidynalybey7814]

Same thing happened to me

[@KM-jp6hm]

Same here, I caught him emailing CPS an email after he lost in court and got zero custody. He omitted his parts of email to look like good guy. I caught on and sent cps the entire conversation. He had pretended to be so well meaning just to pull words, any words out of me to manipulate. That’s why you have to use parenting apps.

[@Unlockingthebox909]

Let's talk about the fact that PD's and the "label" have become the new way for people to continue to enable this behavior. What needs to be examined is the root. If people didn't enable the lies and stay in denial the behavior would HAVE to change. We don't diagnose children with personality disorders and yet we keep being told that the disorders were triggered and enforced between 2 and 6 years. The math isn't mathing.

[@jamieguidry2978]

This is what is happening to me right now.

[@johnjohnson1681]

i love you rebecca zung

[@MyBABIES2019]

System and law makes me sick

[@annatan9421]

Very interesting. I wonder there are any successful litigation against Nac partner for transmitting STD to the other partner?

[@mfornelos]

I am currently going through a separation with my covert narcissist wife. Her and her mother are crafting a false narrative about me, saying that I am a drug addict, abusive and is trying to take custody of our children. The only problem with her narrative that she is crafting. I have all her text saved talking about what a great husband and father I am. They just can't be civil and do what's in the best interest of our children.

[@KraziAnnRKissed]

I feel everything she went through that I'm still going through. I just want it to stop. I just want my children to get the help they need and no one will listen.

[@Faceman005]

Women are narcissistis as well and I believe more difficult to work with then men, especially when your dealing with the court system and a child...

[@DaRyteJuan]

30:23 _”The threshold of what parenting means to ME is a HECK of a lot different than what it means to the family court system.”_ That’s right. After being sexually molested by my female doctor, narcissistic married mother of FOUR, on the advice of TWO attorneys, I chose to file a complaint to law enforcement. It took me TWO tries. They did just about everything they could to quash my complaint, but I wouldn’t give up. I even printed out the 100 page manual entitled *”ADULT/ADOLESCENT INVESTIGATION MANUAL”* produced by the state I live in. The only way I could get law enforcement to actually enforce the law was by holding accountable the POLICE so they would hold my abusive doctor accountable. You have to marshal EVERY instrument at your disposal.

[@tschroeder8245]

I had my last one tell me I was "babbling" and, I explained what I'd learned in past 6years after a 30+ year marriage... I said I didn't know how to pick up pieced to move on. I was so embarresed!

[@dianalevin6800]

What I'm going through word for word!!!!

[@mary220.]

My therapist told me that it was my fault my husband was lying to me because my expectations were too high. I didn't realize that expecting not to be cheated on was too much to expect.

[@jeffjarrells1484]

Don't forget men go through this also. It is hard for a man to say this women is abusive without scratches and bruises.

[@almccue7176]

Narcissists come in both genders

[@ginabaker9764]

We had a caseworker for my kids a year ago say that my stbx is predictably unpredictable and unpredictably predictable.

[@dianep5389]

After a stipulation is signed my narsissist ex has brought me back to court dozen times trying to change it and is There a time when the court system can’t say enough is enough you cannot bring this back to court anymore

[@Poppy-yx8js]

I feel like I’m being smear campaigned because I was never in a divorce or toxic relationship. Horrible online bullying by narc abuse platforms.

[@Bernida25]

Im going through this right now and I don't know what to do...

[@lynnkliewer7201]

My aunt manipulated me I was caring for my mom dying of cancer at home! She played me like a fiddle as I had many more family issues at the same time !Daughter with life threatening situation! My granddaughter had epilepsy at 4 months old !My BFF had the possibility of a leg amputation,And my father in law was on his death bed as well.We bought the home my mom owned and I believed my moms sister and asked questions after my moms passing lies ! She took wills out of my moms home but she left the bank investments and statements busted!

[@rogerd3051]

I have watched so many of your film clips , and they are really great , my only grip is I have not seen any clips ( and I may have miss it) about women who are the narcissist.. have you made any clips for men ?

[@romeothehavanese]

I speak from personal experience / going to court against a malignant narcissist. If the narcissist is REALLY diagnosed with NPD and needs professional lifelong counseling, then battling them in court without professional legal help is a very, very bad idea. It's taken my family 5 very long draining years in court to pry the narcissist off of us. If your narc is as disturbing as ours, then fighting him/her legally is honestly way outside of your realm. Document everything like it was your job, but then turn everything over to a professional and let them turn your evidence into an excellent court presentation and hopefully get justice for you and your family.

[@renaelynn6376]

night & shining armour and dr r shakes her head.

[@cookinglikeastar6117]

3 best ladies

[@inspiringchangebycindy5313]

Yes yes yes keep the knowledge coming

[@deljeane2204]

What can I do if no lawyers in my area are knowledgeable of narcissist.

[@melissabagley1700]

I am going through the exact same thing with my husband now and trying to protect my 4 year old son. What can we do? How can we change the system to help everyone dealing with this?

[@ginabaker9764]

I have LOTS of "unfounded" and "indicated" things from CPS/DCFS - they don't take anything seriously! We are currently under court supervision as an intact case. My lawyer doesn't seem to understand what we have gone through or what we're going through. My parents are funding my "journey" , the money is getting low. We have 6 kids, 3 are adults now, 3 are still being forced to attend "court ordered" visits. HELP!

[@cherylhillskemper7564]

OMG. My story is almost identical.

[@shyannejackson5897]

I’m starting this battle now and I am going back on my thoughts so much and I’m extremely confused and I’m watching all of Dr.Ramani videos trying to figure out if I’m the issue because that’s what he says.... ugh. I’m so lost with narcissism. When I feel I know it I second guess and think somthing els.

[@MyBABIES2019]

My therapist call out the narcissist of my ex while he was attending therapists family classes plan... therapist wrote letter to judge to help me within custody EPO - for child molestation and neglect of. Children general care. but judge denied He is a narcissist liar- It makes me sick to my stomach

[@jennifernunez5890]

I am in panic mode which I should be. I watched your webinar this morning and want to do it even with no money. Can I email you?

[@michaelmoran8755]

I you can’t win without a lawyer. They’re expensive. They may care but they won’t do it for free. You will lose against a narcissist sooner or later if they have the money to spend in endless accusations and manipulations.

[@twoplustwoequalsfour48]

Thank you

[@lianashushkevich9061]

Thank you thank you Rebecca!! you are incredible i experienced all the points that you describing, as by book. im so stupid to find myself in this situation....

[@shannonmarie7198]

I don’t have any kid with my ex-narc. I feel bad for you, but I’m still pissed off that the Judge is biased. She dismissed all the evidences I sent the emails for zoom meeting before the trial. The court session lasted 15 minutes and she didn’t watch the video my ex made a threat, telling me not to come to Hawaii. She dismissed the evidence I sent that my ex impersonated as a police officer to shut me up. He pointed at me as if I was the problem. I will never understand why I am and was always the bait for my ex to hook up to cause more gaslighting. People say karma will get him. I’m still waiting. He always gets by. He always breaks rules. I’m dumbfounded by how flawed the Courts are.

[@cultureindia7829]

I was in the court with something similar(I wouldn't call N*) for over 7 years, self-representing myself and the outcome was devastating. I was able to protect half of my kid's life(shared custody) but the battle itself is life-taking. They always won, I am not sure standing on your grounds in front of them doesn't stand, as they take away your ground. I have complex trauma, my daughter is dealing with same as she spend that time with him. He is not a liar, a MANIPULATOR. It's easy to catch a lie, but not manipulations, as its a story built around it. You can't win a Narcissist. My battle is likely to continue for another 10 years.....

[@robertbest5082]

I have three narcissist ganging up on the family yes they are family members however they are causing so much trouble with their lawsuits against the family that I think if the correct words are spoken all the harassment could be reversed!

[@doccarson63]

I'm fully disabled and my Narcissist ex took all marital money away and even deliberately delayed checks to prevent me from hiring an attorney in the beginning of out divorce. Her previous marriage ended with seven Domestic Violence Injunctions and her ex being thrown in jail numerous times so she could make all the calls. Her version of the story was the only version allowed told. I managed to get past most of it including the arrest warrant and actually hired a reputable attorney. All the Domestic Abuse is about to be told and the gender biased female judges will hopefully be disciplined by the Florida Bar Association and Supreme Court. I wondered why both judges refused to order court ordered counseling. Their Narcissism traits may have surfaced and put them off the bench. Now there's a serious question that my ex-wifes attorney is a Narcissist also. Narcissism is like drug Addicts, they can always find others with the mental illness.

[@jostafford3367]

I doing the same thing I’m a single mum now and I am representing myself as my own solicitor . I can’t afford a solicitor and I have a dv order on my ex husband . I was married to him for 5 years and it was 5 years of domestic violence against me and my son . It took me 4 years numerous phone calls to the police , severe abuse I finally got rid of him out of my home when bang as soon as I went to court for the dv order he went straight to a lawyer and wanted 70 thousand dollars off me and my assets which I had hardly anything . He destroyed our lives I couldn’t work because he mentally abused me . I begged for legal help no one would help me . I cried so much cause I had no one to help me so I had no choice but to write my own letters to his lawyer . I researched npd disorder and realised I was with the worst kind of narssist a malignant narc . He was violent , alcoholic and spent his life in gaol bullying and torturing People . I’m in the middle of this settlement myself I just write another letter to his lawyer . I’m just exhausted from all of it . I don’t have anything to do with people I don’t date .... nothing don’t want to be with people because of the horendous abuse me and my son have suffered

[@michealduzan5767]

What if you are a father, love in the state of IL and have to deal with a narcissistic mom? Do the same rules apply to me as a man and a father?

[@navinknows4411]

I am about to have to see the nonpaying abusive ex at mediation. Pray for me & I believe he will get extremely angry the less I say , I am so exhausted & 🙄 researched his bizarre behavior for so long I am confident he will say weird alien things that are so off topic. We have never had calls or visits with him & we are grateful he never followed court orders-Took me 10yeRs to find the deadbeat abusive man to get child support he fought with THE most expensive lawyer. I know have to represent myself after lawyers pulled out (retained for 4 years from Cov 😮). Send me love & blessings-Well for me baby girls who are now driving teens happy & free of evil. I love you all THANK YOU!

[@mrmackeraljones4693]

I tried to get my spouse a new therapist. Because she brought up past shit.

[@urosrot7916]

I˙m the male, but I`m off the ground for some time now, an I`m glad to discover or better KZbin algorithm offered me dr. Ramani`s and Rebecca`s channel speaking of narcissism. Now I`m more and more convinced that I`m not the one with NPD. And must say that majority of Tina`s statements holds ( OK not so drastic about huge debt, but majority of other things like gaslighttning, love bombs, SMS invasion, rage periods , accusations, lies....name it). I could write down tons of things, but if I sum up I can say that I never acomplish satisfation fro the othes side, no matter what, so now for two years or so I started to intensively avoid confrontations, because I always lost ( either I have no Idea, I`m wrong, I don`t understand, very often I get "Why do You insult me in front of everybody", You never been suppurtive to me....., so when the arguing starts I ussually stand up and leave otherwise the snow avalanche comes at the doorstep). Me as a person slowly becoming her head (mind), and I don`t want that anymore. Always stepping away (crazy). I`m done. And to comment @Chayuky Kenig ˇ"most important part of this video: most therapists won't recognize it as narcs behavior and instead encourage the victim to try working it out or deal with her emotions, not recognizing it as narcissistic abuse". She is very lucky indeed Been there too as therapist said: maybe You don`t understand

[@johnoneill2661]

The part nobody will tell you is the Rules, Procedures, Filings, and all the b.s. of parliamentary games that are hidden from the public and only allowed if you are in the club. So in order to have any chance you need to pass the bar exam. That's how they operate here anyway. A judge can do whatever he wants to a self represented peasant citizen in his royal court of fools. I wish I had a staff to do all the work. If there were real justice, the line to court would be a hundred miles long and that's a fact.

[@flordellaeafford4847]

I need help . I ve been with a Narcissist for 24yts. We have a 24yr old Daughter. I live in Maryland where commend law wife is not legal. He has Emotionally and Mentally abused me. Being a Narcissist.. l gave Nothing but he wants me out his home. He has money houses cars trucks. I have to pay him every paycheck to use his car to go to work at minimum wage job. Housekeeping

[@amandapandakrueger]

Do you have any advice on how to get free legal representation in the state of Illinois? I have been trying for over a year was absolutely no luck.

[@MyBABIES2019]

Tina Swithin- how can you help me? I feel hopeless like am downing and don't see a hand nowhere to help

[@angelasolano1912]

Family Court is a kangaroo court. The narc lied several times and was caught in those lies and the hearing officer and judge don't care that she lies. My husband had full custody of his 3 boys for 10 years after the mom abandoned them. She got pregnant with yet another man's child while they were married and divorced him and got remarried a week later. My husband was already caring full time for all the boys including the youngest of the 3 boys who was also another man's child that she got pregnant with while she was married to him. She just abandoned the baby so my husband was able to get full custody because he was born while they were married I guess. 10 years late, the mother made false allegations after trying to coax my husband into signing over full custody. She heard from the boys he was starting up his own busine$$. He had agreed to give her custody for the school year, but he had put that "child support will not be an option since mother hasn't paid child support the past 10 years". She said she "didn't like how it was worded." And next thing we know we come back from being out of town for a few days and on one of those days we were gone she said my husband pulled out a gun in front of the boys. We have text messages from that day she alleged abuse and one of them shows that we were going out of town and several between my husband and his boys showing that he wasn't even around them on that day. They kept the boys with the narc mom even though previous court ordee said she had to have her own place if she wanted the boys to visit. She is now living with her ex-husband, his dad, and his adult brother. Her ex-husband choked one of the boys and got arrested for it and they still kept the boys at these men's home with the narc mom. I get the impression that most of the people employed by the State and the kangaroo courts are sociopathic, NPD, incompetent or just downright STUPID.

[@blossomjohnson3743]

I'm going threw this now and can't afford a lawyer every day is a struggle any advice would be great

[@Indigorose44]

Get away from the authorities. They will destroy you. Idk why they hate women

[@musicmakeuplover3025]

My story is similar to hers but I never married thank God we just have four children together. And he served me papers for temporary custody for my children he disowned and Di claimed all their lives . Now as of 2020 the kids been back and forth due to me being naive and overly trusting that he would do right and coparent. It’s been hell he’s smearing my name and trying to turn my children against me through threats and manipulation. I’ve been watching alit of Chanel’s and researching for help on how to get my children back . Safe anyone please help thanks 🙏. Now is back home scapegoat the other 3 hard held by fear and manipulation

[@musicmakeuplover3025]

On is back with me excuse the typos

[@Beaumirabel]

God i relate to this so much

[@wmorell1987]

8:22-9:15 was literally me 3 years, and $52,000.00 ago. Still no final orders.