Rest vs Productivity in Neurodivergent People

Rest vs. Productivity in Neurodivergent Individuals #audhd #latediagnosisadhd #latediagnosedautistic #rest #nervoussystemregulation #momonthespectrum

[@KnitWitch]

I'm watching this as I feel guilty because I'm taking a nap and intentionally NOT doing laundry or cleaning the house

[@jillthetree9173]

I support your nap ! rest well and good luck :O)

[@is2269]

A good nap is awesome 💜

[@KnitWitch]

​@jillthetree9173 Thank you, I definitely have to force myself but I'm really trying hard 💜

[@gemgwilliam]

This is what I call "aggressively resting", when you actively do wayyyy less than you think you can do, but do even less than that. 2 naps? Go for it. Microwave meal? Make it 7. Need to wash the dishes? Put the dishwasher on twice.

[@bashfulmuse5728]

I think one of the most important parts of this was your last sentence. I have a VERY difficult time being "fully there" for rest. My mind doesn't stop so I find that I've not really rested. I've just managed to make that time more anxious because I'm thinking about all the things that are making me need the rest in the first place 😵‍💫

[@saraparks5212]

I was just having meltdown today in my battle to realize this. I remembered your videos saying we need more rest. Thank you!

[@DrinkYourNailPolish]

I had a meltdown myself today. Worst one I've ever had. It was so bad I was non-verbal and I've never gone non verbal before. Not like this. When I came out of it I ordered my favorite fast food (taco bell) and put on something I love (pro wrestling) then I had a nap So I highly suggest after a meltdown; 1. Favorite food 2. Favorite thing to watch 3. Nap It was like someone pressed the reset button on my hard drive 😅

[@is2269]

💜 Fabulous idea... so great that it helped you... thanks for the tip 😁​@@DrinkYourNailPolish

[@meady50]

I agree 100% with you in saying neurodivergents seem to need more rest than others. I make my own schedule for work, and so I work 4 days straight, then I almost have to have those 3 days off or I’ll never be able to make it to work the next week. In those three days I don’t work, I spend two resting, and one cleaning the house

[@TheForestBeganToSing333]

This is just about me!

[@natk1105]

Yes I used to find the 5 day work week quite a struggle. Amazingly it has improved A LOT since I started working from home. I feel like I get so much more done, yet at the same time, feel much more balanced and have energy left over at the end of the day for family and home life. (It helps that I love my current job as well.)

[@flowerboy7810]

I agree with you, Taylor, and we can also give ourselves what we need, guilt-free, without the goal of increasing productivity. We can do it because we deserve care and our value isn't in our productivity. ❤

[@NotSoWickedMystic]

I wish my parents had heard this message when i was young. They worked us kids to the bone doing chores, and helping clean houses for our church members. and then expected us to also get jobs as soon as we were 14. We were homeschooled child laborers. And now, as an adult with my own family, they STILL find ways to belittle my lifestyle, even though my essential care includes downtime and not allowing myself to be guilt-shamed into "voluntold" unpaid work for anyone. #toxic parents deny neurodivergent kids time, space and rest. And they wonder why i keep my kids away, and have gone no-contact 😅

[@tiffknox6158]

Rest from other people’s energy and neediness!

[@iPsychlops]

This. As an autistic therapist, I use this message to work toward self compassion with my clients.

[@annm3064]

Thank you. As a mom of 4 who often feels judged, often around family... I greatly appreciate hearing this. I cant mentally handle 7 days a week on non-stop chores, things to do, and impatient kids. I love my kids, and i do want to give them the best... But I cant take them to the doctors for therapy every single day( i cant bring multiple kids to the doctor office due to covid restrictions still in place) I have tried the non-stop run mode, and I am so much harder on myself mentally.... Thinking things about never doing enough, not being good enough... And how horrible i am that a I cant even get a decent job after an injury (hurt my back)... I at least know there are some people who understand... And I really hope for the best for everyone.

[@crawfordroses]

Big HUGS!!! From one mama of many (we've got six) to another. I see you!!!

[@joycebrewer4150]

Oof, both my mom and I have worked through aching backs. Separate incidents. She spent several months recovering from hers. I just needed several weeks. But I feel for you.🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@samhiatt]

Your kids have the best because they have your love.

[@lmack6596]

We were just talking about this earlier. We (my neurodivergent colleagues and I) reckon we need more sleep than others. And apparently women need more sleep than men? Just heard that for the first time today - not sure if it's true or not, but wouldn't surprise me if it was. Especially ar certain times of the month.

[@debmc369]

I don't know if I am Neurodivergent but I have always had to have an afternoon nap. I am 65 yrs old. Over the year I've been laughed at, even some tried to shame me. I might not go to sleep but it is my essential down time.

[@cmauro7912]

I took a nap and finished what was on my goal of the day list. Went for a walk to do other things later in ready for tomorrow. Rest is the best.

[@crimsonclaw4703]

Agreed. Honestly back before my parents got divorced my mom would constantly make me feel HORRIBLE for takeing 2 or 3 hours to just sit and scroll ( my form of rest) every second i wasnt doing something productive was a second i was getting yelled at for relaxing. Thus meaning i needed to take even more time for relaxation. Aka from the moment i got home from school untill 12 a clock at night i was awake due to stress and self hatred. Now that im liveing with just my (wonderfull, understanding and acepting) dad my sleep schedule has improved, my grades have improved, and my overall life has improved.

[@guera18cpt]

Yes! I had my Sunday rest day taken from me this past weekend and I was so damn tired yesterday. Forced myself to stop working late,walked my fur baby, took a shower, ate, and read my book. I actually went to sleep at 11 pm, and slept my 8 hours. I felt so damn good today. Got a lot of work done. I definitely need my “I ain’t doing 💩 today” rest time.

[@janhill626]

I'm learning this the hard way. Went back to work too soon, made no adjustments, and off again with exhaustion and complete sensory overwhelm. I find it so hard to say no as I don't want to upset anyone. Irony is I'm an OT.

[@christianscott2168]

OT?

[@janhill626]

Occupational therapist

[@loniwilliams82]

💯 This is why I allow myself time to take the unbalanced productivity and just sit and process whatever anxiety I'm holding.

[@stefanmargraf7878]

Exactly! Thank you for the connected feeling!

[@Cauldron6]

I could only start healing from burnout when I started prioritizing my rest!! This is your sign to prioritize your rest!!!!

[@DrinkYourNailPolish]

As part of my faith I take one day a week as a "day of rest" where I do as minimal as possible and spend time in prayer, worship, and studying my faith. I also make sure to do my level best to avoid reading & posting on social media or doing anything else that will upset me. My day of rest is that time for me to bask in the love of my Creator. I always come away feeling refreshed and reenergised.

[@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane]

I try to do something similar as often as I can, but for me it's going outside and using as many senses as I can to enjoy what He created for me. The wonder of it all... the colors, the sounds, the scents, the different textures, and in the summer, the tastes! I love it, I appreciate it, and I'm thankful for it.

[@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane]

I've always believed that everyone has their own particular need for rest, and shaming someone that needs more than others, especially when it comes to work life (corporate expectations, etc.) is a terrible thing to do. This has probably been the biggest problem in my working career. I will give my all to my job while I'm there, but don't bother me at home, get me upset, and ruin my days off... and you damn well better give me my earned time off so I can rest when I need to!

[@natashabennett4959]

It's always seemed so odd to me that I needed 8 and a 1/2 hours of delegated sleep time, but sometimes I would sleep 12 hours randomly like that wasn't enough... I have ADHD and I assume I'm just drained from a lot of extra processing and hyperactivity.

[@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane]

Not odd at all. I have ADHD too, and do the same.

[@claireschweizer4765]

Perfect timing! Saw this notification when I woke up which was around 5:30pm lol

[@CamStubbs]

Building rest into my schedule right now 😘 you have become part of my rest ❤️ love you mom

[@CourtneyCha0s]

Rest is productive!!! Even if it may not feel like it. Once I started seeing it this way, it eventually got easier.

[@ProudtobeaNeurodivergent_1248]

I didn’t really hear what you were saying because I was mostly focused on if you were laying down on with your chest in a pillow or leaning on a chair against a desk 😂

[@steveth1000]

My 10 year old Grandson is on the Spectrum and has ADHD. He is in a special class of high achievers, many of them like him. His teacher is so good and he can leave the classroom for 5 mins if he feels he needs to reset. It's the first year he has loved school. First year he has made friends too. Thank goodness for gaining entry to his new class at a new school.

[@badmonkeyking]

I woke up in a panic , its been a hard week, last two days getting out of bed was painful and a struggle. But I kept telling myself when I had time to rest coming up. Finally I caved in , I cried and shook nd txt work to call off. But my boss wasn't having it. Went into Fawning mode got there. I masked all day. Now I'm on the way home rest will be. Bubble bath, with music and candles, I'm ordering food so I don't have to cook and I'm watching old cartoons in bed till I pass out. I said all this because I wanted to share it. But this channel , your voice was in my head telling me to put me first , to get rest. Maybe I should have stayed home. 🤔 but I didn't now I know I need even more rest time. So thank you for all you share. And helping me today.

[@ToTBlacksmith]

I think I needed this reminder today ❤️

[@simplesimonhadapie]

I am incapable of anything without proper rest as my fibromyalgia goes crazy with my autism of outside worries and I badly need sleep/meditation to reset my body

[@fairygodmotherflowerEternal221]

Seriously. I’ve said this before. Your work / beauty, creation stands alone. It is glorious and magically mysterious. Thank you again.

[@liljairenag]

I don't hear this often enough, thank you for reminding us over and over again ❤

[@neenaj365]

It’s absolutely critical that I rest a lot because I have to be able to look after my autistic teens. I have major shutdown about every fortnight and become sick if I neglect resting. Chronic pain is also very draining and this makes rest even more important.

[@cindyriehm7411]

Thank you. I feel soo much better now that i have found you.

[@babybirdhome]

Getting sufficient rest is one of those things I’m pathologically terrible at. It seems like the harder I try the worse I do. Right now, I think I must start at ending this comment here rather than going on because I’m well past my good rest bedtime. ❤

[@suzannetunnicliffe2422]

I agree with all in your video. Thank you.

[@cahuni]

THANK YOU for saying this 🙏 but if you're one working parent in an imbalanced relationship and the house chores are only on this side ... 😓 then trying to get some Me Time before bedtime is kinda impossible everyday I'm thankful to the grandmothers in my family, taking our kids some weekday evenings so I can cry alone, and decompress. "*Relax*" is something Else, of better Quality but _"beggars can't be choosers"_ 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@ranmakuro]

Yup, this was a hard process to learn after the inbuilt *functioning mode* kept circling. And now I'm going with my flow - I have no schedules, because I never know how my next day will look like (spoon theory). I take the extreme dopamine ride and the extreme exhaustion phases, too, without fighting them or trying to control them anylonger and it brought so much more freedom into my life. Can highly recommand.

[@emmymorris7648]

Well, that was suspiciously good timing! I was just thinking about how I was having a good morning because of actually getting sleep for once and I “should” go do this, this and this. Now, however, I’m thinking that my bed looks pretty comfortable and resting a bit before I get started would be good, especially since it was 3AM before I got to sleep last night. It’s not like I don’t already know how important resting is. I’ve relearned that time and time again through the years. Sometimes I just forget because I’ve been hyper focused on something that I’m sooo excited about. So, this was a very timely and very needed reminder, Taylor. Thank you! 🙏🏻🙏🏻 (Also, I love how you said, “That’s another video.” when you mentioned feeling unsafe in our bodies for various reasons. As soon as you said that, I thought about how that was so true and how I’d definitely watch a video about that subject, too. 👍🏻👍🏻)

[@tbella5186]

I needed this today

[@adambailey8295]

Absolutely gold, your channel is a true blessing, thankyou so much, PS please make more t shirts, more designs, I love the quality.

[@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane]

V-necks! I only wear V-necks... more choices there, please!

[@is2269]

💜 sounds silly but the last few days i have made time for Minecraft game on peaceful mode in my pajamas with my cat sitting next to me.... in game im just pottering around building a little house and planting vegies and trees...mainly because im exhausted from a family party last week and this week i have more face to face appointments where masking is very tiresome...it has recharged me enough that I've made a few proper full meals for myself instead of just snacking 💜

[@consuelonavarrohidalgo5334]

It's not just your belief. It's a fact that has been cientifically proved. So we shall learn how to be more compassionate with ND.

[@herchelleonwood7463]

i am ALWAYS tired, the amount of sleep i get is irrelevant.

[@cannedbat2240]

when i have a hard time resting i sometimes lay my gecko on my chest and let him rest on me as him and his little heartbeat are one of the few things that calm me down quickly. unfortunately i cant risk falling asleep with him on me because hes so little and will absolutely try to jump off my bed and get lost, but he helps me for as long as he can and i love him

[@charlottejones9838]

Rest is one thing I feel I don't get enough of. I'm really trying to implement more rest periods in my day so I can be the best I can be each day.

[@Marmeladenquarkbrot]

Couldn't agree more.

[@deneag.marable1518]

So true!

[@marionb299]

I am trying to teach my 6 yr old Asd, ADHD son the importance for him of regulation, rest, peace and taking time out for him. As I can see burnout in the post if he doesn’t. He needs to learn this though as I won’t always be about

[@brentfisher8366]

Love this post. You are such a good presenter.

[@username46100]

For sure!

[@Violetiyes]

I need more rest. It's hard to stop when you see the need but no one else seems to. So I feel I have to push and do it or it won't be done. I hope I learn to prioritize things. I need to prioritize rest more. I need to remember in the moment.

[@brendamobley]

Yes exactly

[@philbarone4603]

That’s all I have is downtime

[@TC-vq6yz]

My problem is the tremendous guilt I feel when resting or indulging in any form of self care, beyond brushing out my hair.

[@audreydoyle5268]

I finally allowed myself to play minecraft on my switch. I've been putting it off for as long as I've been putting off my course. But my support worker suggests that I just play and rest, and that it's perfectly ok to not be ready to study (especially if you have triggers around it, like I do from HS). My support worker herself even took till her late twenties before being ready to embark on her masters degree. So, it's ok, rest. You've got time.

[@suzannem9811]

Lovely message.

[@maiyapercy]

It just took me 48 years to find this out.

[@kmjezik]

❤❤❤❤❤😊

[@pikmin4743]

🔥💚

[@akpopfamily907]

I am neurodivergent with other diagnoses besides ADHD, and I have a teen son who is AuHD, and I care for my father. When he got suck in 2018, I was going 24/7 until about 6 months ago, and I hit a brick wall. I was so exhausted and overstimulated that my mind and body have left me with no choice but to rest. I have only been doing the bare minimum because of this. I am now getting antsy and finally feeling better. I am trying to figure out how to be productive and build that down time that I obviously need. I still go and go till I am burned out and have to rest. I am finding it hard to make it a part of my day, not just a rescue, because I've done too much again.

[@azcactusflower1]

Your story sounds like mine minus the son (taking care of my mother). The body's adjustment to "less" takes time. Walking in nature, put your bare feet on grass, weighted blanket, and scheduling "you time" in your day. All the best 😊

[@carybaney2548]

I have seen situations among non-neurodivergent folks, where one side wants to go-go-go, not getting focused, not really understanding their goal, thinking just put effort in and it will happen! The other side resting, getting focused, taking breaks ( because they are 'lazy'). Then the go-go side makes 50 mistakes but doesn't reach the goal at all. The other side makes a few mistakes, but completes the goal, even with all their 'breaks and naps'. The go-go side reports their perception, that they themselves did better, even tho they made more mistakes and did not even complete the task, because they "worked harder"!😳

[@merg-vh5sx]

I wish I could learn to do this better.

[@fleurmal7648]

It doesn't matter if I know rest is important. At the end of the day I have to consider if I will lose my job if I take time off, can't control my schedule to meet my needs, and can't afford to wrack up bills for doctor/therapy. I don't feel rested knowing the next day is filled with the work I cant get done today. This life doesn't allow me to rest as much as I need.

[@benediktornhjaltason7948]

I was resting when I saw this 😄

[@Selene_Antonia]

Thank you. I'm having the frizzy issues because someone put layers in my hair. Can't even curl my hair without damage because of it. But I can't go without washing cuz it looks oily as hell. Frustrating tbh

[@ulynvanzyl8474]

I easily sleep 8-10 hours and become super irritated when i dont get enough rest, at the same time when im focused on something, i struggle to put it down and rest, which results in the same

[@realDunalTrimp]

Are you sleep because you are an absolute beauty 🥰

[@haannguyen4402]

Speaking of rest, once my neurotypical classmate straight up dozed off in math class. This man went from sitting up and taking notes, to laying down on his arm, and at one point I noticed his right hand wasn’t moving. About twenty minutes later, he sat up. I turned around to face him and asked “you ok?” To which he said “I fell asleep.” We both blamed daylight savings for this and this was an afternoon class. (He wasn’t the only student affected by daylight savings). I somehow wasn’t so does this have to do with our neurotype? Btw he’s finished his freshman year at the University of Delaware (major in business)

[@heathwilder]

One large part of structural ableism is not allowing neurodivergent folk rest. Sometimes it's only allowing particular forms of downtime (like team extrovert activity), sometimes there is a socio-political mini game in front of the rest. Many times that is being given an impossible task. You are overloaded AND ordered to schedule rest. For a lot of us that of asking if to put 2L of water into a 1L jar. For NTs that's either pushing it back to your boss (pushing back is an NT mini game) or picking the best 1L and putting the rest in the backlog

[@fairygodmotherflowerEternal221]

❤❤😊

[@SuzieQGirl]

💯🧠❤

[@fairygodmotherflowerEternal221]

❤️💜

[@susansilvey1614]

Senior now, resting after burnout of life

[@TheDeanKids]

💯%!

[@A.Ravioli]

I need to rest and i really want to rest, but when i try to my brain won't let me fully relax. That's why i hate naps, i feel guilty taking them and just keep remembering things i "have" or "should" do. (i am Diagnosed with ADD and ASD - i suppose it comes from that?)

[@fairygodmotherflowerEternal221]

⚜️🕊️🦢❤️🪺🐚🌺❤️❤️🦢💜❤️

[@raggedyang]

Is that more autistics than ADHDers though? That’s what I’ve been wrestling with. I suspect my kiddo is more AuDHD than his official “SPD+ADHD” diagnosis. But then again, none of the many ADHD kids we know has SPD like he does, so they’re more the Energizer Bunny types, and my kiddo needs tons of time in his cozy corner tent or dark bunker (where he shuts out most light) - he’s anything but an Energizer Bunny type! We can only do one thing out of the house a day. We push it to 2 things one day a week, and it’s already getting to be too much for him.

[@happybubblemanfan]

Yeah sure and I got four hours of sleep .

[@a98815]

Ok but how

[@TheFilamentMonkey]

How come you would say some autistic people? I’m going out on a limb that someone complained? I mean I get it but I don’t lol

[@daveanderson8776]

It is soooooooo essential! If I don’t rest nobody does 😳 because I am not regulated! 😊🫶🏼

[@nesrasiti]

Cured my insomnia! I've been falling asleep past 4am lately, messing with my schedule.. feeling guilty.. so simple, so obvious, yet until now I didn't feel motivated 2 change perhaps.. U, my friend, have made a difference and I appreciate U and Ur efforts! 😶‍🌫️🤔🫡😴🥹