Things Autistic People Do PT 14

Things Autistic People Do PT 14 #audhd #momonthespectrum #stimming #autisticstimming #covertstim #freethestim #latediagnosedautistic

[@user-mq5yb6ld3e]

Having a song stuck on repeat in your head (also a good excuse for "chair" dancing!)

[@Gitchagoat]

Lol 😂 absolutely !

[@meganray2376]

Constant chair dancer over here hahaha

[@kolt4d559]

got that radio station going on

[@nathanh6439]

I have had "Dearly Beloved" from Kingdom Hearts playing in the back of my head for over a decade. Ever since playing it with my kids when they were little.

[@herchelleonwood7463]

sometimes its a song i don't particularly like, or even a fast food jingle,,it won't go away until a different song gets stuck in my head.

[@mgistcaful]

I recently realized that my knitting/crocheting was a dual purpose type of stimming…keeps my hands busy and is a socially acceptable way of conversing without having to look at people…

[@mysoulcalledlife]

Anybody else had face picking as stim? Like squeezing blackheads etc?? I’ve done a lot of damage to my face over my lifetime, but I’ve stopped.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

face picking is a very common autistic stim!

[@RutabegaNG]

Yep, trying to stop, I scar easily

[@melissawalsh8760]

Picking at pimples and then at the scabs from those pimples. I had blood under my finger nails often in middle school. Luckily i switched to playing with my hair and my acne cleared up a lot after a decade.

[@glendaanderson4969]

I think this one is usually from over stimulation. I can usually avoid it but earlier I worked, grocery shopped and had to come home to chores immediately and had a white head buldging just under my chin. Couldn't have paid me to avoid picking at that😅

[@Lynee5290]

Yes, has always been a a big thing for me for as long as I can remember, and have a lot of scaring because of it! 😢

[@debramaertens893]

Humming. When I’m by myself it’s loud enough to hear however, when I’m around other people I seem to keep it to an internal ‘buzz’ with an occasional individual note escaping.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

yes! humming and singing are great examples

[@raea3588]

That's a big one for me. Especially when I'm in a public situation and I become nervous and would like to flee but this is not an option. I will hum out loud but it's more of a monotone sound than a song. I also like to stare at my fingers while opening and closing them.

[@hollypennington4595]

Yes! I hum so often. I hum the minute I begin to walk in the grocery store until the minute I get back in my car! I can hum so softly that hardly anyone notices. I also hum so excitedly that it makes passersby smile. It's a happy stim! And it makes me feel so much more regulated. I tend to hum tunes of my own making. And I'll often repeat the same series of notes and rhythms over and over.

[@TheAussieHobo]

Me too

[@kensears5099]

Somebody else here mentioned having a song going in your head, on repeat. For me there are two versions of that: the normal version, that happens to all of us occasionally, and then the core, "default" version, where my entire life is accompanied by some sort of melodic soundtrack--All. The. Time. It isn't always a real song, it can just be a simple "motif," a 3-4 note progression on a loop, accompanying my footsteps, in fact inducing my footsteps rythmically so that I walk at an extremely even, brisk, modulated pace. It's hard to explain but inwardly I perfectly understand the difference between the garden-variety "song stuck in my head," which can drive me crazy just like anybody (when I have a fever that can last for days; once it was Sammy Davis singing "I Gotta Be Me"--maddening!), and the...other kind: the melodic "counting" of life that is ALWAYS there. That one does not (thankfully!) drive me crazy. If it did, I couldn't live, because it has been there as long as I can remember and I suppose it always will be.

[@terifreeman4165]

Oh my gosh - so familiar- I made up a sort of melodic progression that I find soothing, calming and every time I think I’m too close to the edge of freaking out - I just tap into my handy dandy internal jukebox. Cheers!

[@lorna525]

Wow, I would never have thought this was a stimming thing until now! I do the same thing!

[@stargzr0023]

Yes. All of this. Glad to know I’m not “mental” and I’m not alone 😊

[@elora2993]

I always took this to be an awareness of the songs God sings over us. I read in the bible that God sings songs of delight over his people. I always think about how beautiful that is whenever I have a melody in the background of my mind. ♡

[@malapropia]

I have this, too!

[@margueritedutoit]

Playing one particular song that is suiting my mood at the time...on a loop.

[@neekyboo77]

Yup. I listened to the same song for 8 hrs straight on a long car ride.

[@naynayandwhip5839]

I do that too!! All the time lol

[@stephh1074]

FORTNIGHT

[@lisa_wistfulone7957]

I was diagnosed at 51. As I reflected on finding my stims and my genuine autistic self again, I realized how I “lost” my outward healthy stims in my 20s, as I moved into the adult world, and did more covert stims like the ones you mentioned. I had been very fun and bubbly and bouncy, sometimes lots of joyful bursts of body movement, happy jumping, spontaneous dancing.💖✨ When I hid that physical exuberance, it squelched a lot of the joy and happiness too. Anxiety grew, and I did more covert stims to manage the anxiety, like nail picking and binge eating at night. As I relearn and accept my own bigger, happy stims, it’s so much easier to self regulate and be a more bubbly person again! ☺️✨🫧

[@elyssiacook6913]

Hi I was also diagnosed at 51 - just a week ago! Going for adhd assessment next as I'm pretty sure I have that too. What you said about dancing around etc, really resonates. It's so sad that society looks at that overt joy and basically just sneers at it. I still do crazy dancing in the kitchen but only if no-one is watching!

[@kathydodge8028]

I'm glad you feel more comfortable being yourself recently 💛 what you said about stimming without restriction made me realize, that could be the reason I have felt really anxious lately. Thank you for sharing!

[@mattsloan32]

@@elyssiacook6913 Dance man, like nobodies watching.

[@elyssiacook6913]

@@mattsloan32 That's literally what I do - I dance like nobody's watching - when nobody's watching!

[@JeanLoupRSmith]

Visual stims... you mentioned lava lamps but mine is just staring at fire. I could do that for hours on end, when I light up a barbecue, even if the smoke makes my olfactory senses go haywire, the fascination with the flame just trumps all ... umm by the way, I'm no pyro in case people are worried reading this.

[@naynayandwhip5839]

I like to stare at fire too! It’s relaxing to me to watch and I love the crackling noise. I frequently put a fire video from KZbin on my TV and just leave it on lol

[@jinxcraft1170]

Fireplace videos are great, and I have to exercise quite a bit of control to keep my WoodWick crackly candle collection to a reasonable level 😂 😅

[@msmltvcktl]

Memorising full albums and "listening" to them in my head. Chewing the inside of my cheek. Standing on the outside edges of my feet and clasping my toes together. Constantly twirling my hair. Talking to myself way too much

[@claremfrench]

Yes, yes yes. All of these. Hadn’t thought of the sides of my feet ! Ha! Another bit of new learning - thanks

[@paulinemoira8442]

It's pretty amazing though that stimming happens, before we've learned that we need that or how it helps us.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I agree! Our body finds a way to alleviate the stress, however small.

[@lorna525]

Not me over here literally scrunching my toes as I am watching this... 😂

[@terifreeman4165]

Precious Taylor - I can’t begin to convey my gratitude for your kind and brave support. I’m 61 and self-diagnosed but c’mon, I def checked off about 98% of the boxes. Anyway I digress - I realize I have at least 2-3 stims which are 1)picking at my cuticles- seems mostly while driving 2)a thing I do with certain songs inside my head to calm myself- always the same song but I try to switch it up so I don’t get into a rut 3) zoning out briefly - I stare into space and sort of seem to go off somewhere- takes at least a minute- then I come back to earth, lol. That’s it for now and thanks for the terrific prompt. Teri

[@solasolar1]

Diagnosed at 49. My covert stims, twirling hair, chewing inside of my cheek and nails, pacing, vocal stims, drinking warm beverages, grinding teeth, cracking joints, moving hands in a playful or dancing way. A big one as a kid was chewing my hair.

[@imightbeonthespectrum]

Playing with patterns on my fingernails, cracking my knuckles and joints (like a lot, all the time), running my tongue over my teeth all day, every day.

[@jillthetree9173]

I really appreciate your time, energy, and research. thank you. I'm one of those former smokers that had NO IDEA that I was/needed to stim. I quit smoking and was shocked that I still felt so anxious. It's upsetting. I'm now dealing with expensive dental work from teeth grinding and clenching. perhaps if I had been taught to stim outwardly my body could have been spared all that...

[@gardengirl4718]

I was diagnosed at 60. I tap out drum beats with my toes and teeth and even my breath. I pick at myself - all over my body. I hum under my breath. I count footsteps. I chew on the inside of my mouth and my lips. I make weird faces and work the muscles of my neck and abdomen when I'm feeling particularly stressed.(I try not to do those in front of other people.). I have one vocal stim that I cover with a cough. I crack my wrists and knuckles. Bounce my foot when I'm sitting. Geez... I didn't realize I had so many until I sat down and thought about it! Ha!

[@marjanek1]

Yes rhythmic breathing is my most common stim, usually accompanied by toes 😊 It’s very relaxing

[@jennabarton433]

I don't need to tell you my covert stims because this video is a straight up list! I was literally scrunching my toes when you said it 🤯

[@majickalstar]

As a young child, I rocked quite forcefully when sitting on the sofa and less forcefully when on a chair, etc. I spent hours at the playpark on the swings or roundabout but mainly the swings. I loved the outdoors and jumping fences by gripping and throwing my legs and body over repeatedly too lol however, I annoyed my family something awful and always got told off for rocking mainly. Autism was never even a thought back then, I'm 44 and start my assessment in a months time. As I got older, unfortunately, struggling to fit in, self-harm has played a big part in my life but I won't go into that as I feel a lot of shame and it can be triggering. I also toe scrunch, hair twirl, binge eat, wrist flick, still rock when I'm alone, to name a few and probably a lot more tbh lol love and hugs xxx

[@notNajimi]

You’re not alone on the self harm thing, I struggle with that too. Best wishes ❤

[@majickalstar]

@@notNajimi sending hugs, it can be difficult xxx I keep a bauble or elastic wristband on my wrist so it's easy to ping and distract sometimes xx

[@ginadellgrottaglia6897]

I've rubbed my eyebrows for as long as I can remember. I used to suck my thumb and snake my fingers up with the same hand (and then underneath glasses lol, which must've looked... interesting). My dad eventually forbade the thumb, but I always kept the eyebrows. Interestingly, in later studying energy medicine (Donna Eden), I learned that the eyebrow is a major nervous system relief point (tapping, anyone?). She said "You were doing energy work on yourself and didn't even know it." 🥰

[@cynthiabohli-nelson1824]

Interesting! I sometimes mess w/ my eyebrows. My mom told me that when I was a baby, I would stroke my eyelashes until I fell asleep.

[@ginadellgrottaglia6897]

@@cynthiabohli-nelson1824 Yup. We figure it out as we go, don't we? 😊

[@dianeschaap3602]

I'm so curious what the difference is between stimming by autistic people and stimming by people who are not autistic - because everyone does this to some extent!

[@consuelonavarrohidalgo5334]

The movements use to be different to allistic ones (more visible the most of them). They recognize them and by considering them weird they forbid the use of them to autistic people.

[@deadchannelfrom2018]

Respectfully, that’s like saying everyone has diabetes to some extent; so no, not everyone does it to some extent. Neurotypical people may do any of these things once a day or once a week or in a different manor. Neurodivergent people do these things on a daily basis, multiple times a day, whether covertly or openly.

[@RutabegaNG]

Stimming is not a behavior specific to autistic people or people with ADHD, you are correct. Frequency, intensity, and purpose however, those are the difference. A neurodivergent person is likely to stim for reasons that a neurotypical person might not. And even if it's the same reason, The neurodivergent person is going to likely stim longer, more intensely, more obviously, than the neurotypical person.

[@dianeschaap3602]

@@RutabegaNGThanks for this perspective.

[@dianeschaap3602]

@@deadchannelfrom2018​​⁠So if I understand you correctly, the differences between these behaviors in people with and 1:27 without autism can involve the kind of stimming and how often . Thanks. Equally respectfully: I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t. (I tend to notice these things.)

[@ThinkPositiveDude]

Yup, I used to work in retail pharmacy and in the process picked up the habit of becoming a chain smoker but not in the traditional sense. Every half an hour I would walk outside of my workplace light a cigarette take a couple of puffs of it and then put it out and then light another one take a couple of puffs of that and then go back to work refreshed. I rarely if ever smoked to the filter. Fortunately once I quit that dead end job I also gave up that bad habit, but back then I had no idea I was autistic nor why i felt very drained after every interaction with a customer that lighting a cigarette and taking a couple of puffs felt so satisfying in solitude

[@tonyakellogg3717]

I just had confirmed by a professional that yes I am autistic and have ADHD (I've known for years in my heart) at 44... thank you so much for your insight! I'm having to almost relearn what that means for me personally. I'm just glad someone finally believed me!

[@daveanderson8776]

I smoked at a very young age10 , drank , twirled pencils, mimicked accents constantly, imatate movie starts voices , I had a hard time processing what teachers were saying in class , daydreamed constantly, and quite often centered on shadows outside and visually was mesmerized by older cartoons . I now know that ADHA OR ADD quite often ten go hand in hand with Autism Spectrum Disorders It only been about a year or maybe more that I have self and professionally diagnosed autistic . There has been grieving for me as well with childhood trauma of being taken advantage of because of this not understanding social norms and boundaries . I have seen a consular by think it would help if I could talk to people that have been through this and are processing things . Thanks for all you do 😊🫶🏼

[@ElizabethBush-gn4rs]

Playing with my jewelry, especially any rings I am wearing. I used to have a puzzle ring that I would solve and unsolved repeatedly.

[@rahelschaefer]

My stims change through time and if people knew about them they would look at me at disgust. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@starfoxloves]

Singing definitely, twirling my hair, twirling my pen, rubbing the hem of fabric between my fingers (especially if it curls up), picking at my ears, dancing. And it's not covert but I pace a lot when I'm alone and I only just learned that was stimming, not just regular "self soothing." I also do drink and while I've always said I did it to "turn my brain" off, I'm definitely starting to make the connection between that and autism (I'm 40 and just now catching to my autistic nature). On days that I intentionally stim more and am more mindful of my sensory input, I end up less inclined to drink also. So happy to be learning all this and starting my unmasking journey in this community. 💛✨🙏

[@christianhuber816]

Among many other things that I did and still do that I now know are stims (self-diagnosed), I'm now starting to see that my massive nicotine abuse (40 cigarettes per day) was a form of stimming. I'm so thankful I stopped smoking several years ago. Btw thank you for your content that makes me understand myself better.

[@ufcoque8697]

I stretch my legs and hands. I can't explain it. It's like tense up and release, but it feels like stretching. Difficult to explain

[@lorna525]

I do that too

[@raskbell]

Pen tapping/twirling, finger drumming, knee shaking under the table, rubbing my feet under the table, jamming my feet on edges of the table, putting the soles of my feet on sharp edges of rocks when hiking, rapid blinking, arm scratching, finger picking, muscle flexing, head/chin scratching, I think I could probably go on and on with this heh. My favorite, though, was exercising so I had an excuse to “shake out my hands” (eg hand flap)

[@j-ivey]

Shout out to my fellow finger-drummers

[@enolp]

I have so many music playlists it’s absolutely ridiculous. Some are public and some are private or unlisted but I have a playlist for pretty much any scenario I could think of, and if I think of another, I’ll make a new playlist for that scenario and/or vibe. I just realized right now that my playlists, both curating and listening to them, are possibly my biggest covert stim. I can follow along with the music and pick whatever vibe I want to exist in and people see it as completely normal to listen to music with headphones on, and headphones also mean that it doesn’t bother other people to have to listen to it, plus then I can occasionally not be listening to anything in my headphones and nobody will know that it’s just silence, because sometimes that specific type of quiet noise is perfect. On a rare occasion I’ll find a song that I love so much that I will listen to it on loop for anywhere around 20 minutes to 2 hours. Hey Runner is my most recent one and I still love it, it just interacts with my brain in the most perfect way

[@SuperHappyNotMerry]

definitely skin picking and teeth grinding, also running my tongue across my canines until it hurt, which I didn't even realize could be considered self harm. less harmful ones, yup accents is such a fun one, very mild rocking, running my hands across the smoothest parts of my skin, tapping. someone else mentioned songs getting stuck in your head and yeah, singing is such a big one for me, especially because of how good it feels in my throat (it doesn't hurt that I'm a pretty good singer lol) I used to think I didn't stim but they were all just hidden stims. I don't even think I ever flapped my hands, even as a child

[@evilbarbie2160]

Inner cheek biting, lip biting, jaw clenching and grinding teeth while asleep if not diffused in the day. Baby blanket edge rolling between fingers. (Found that cut pieces of sheer drapes has similar sensation, used it to quit vaping after I'd used vaping to quit smoking). Thanks for mentioning smoking was definitely me, nicotine to me acts like ritalin to someone with adhd, and helped with life long depression... so was NOT easy to quit.

[@resourcedragon]

I can definitely relate to the smoking. Cigarettes got too expensive for me, I was really beginning to have a lot of anxiety in relation to the cost, so I bought a vaping kit, and set myself the very low bar of "If I end up spending less on smoking + vaping than I was spending on cigarettes then I've succeeded." To my surprise, I stopped smoking entirely with this method. What I found interesting was that I didn't seem to miss the nicotine (my vapes were nicotine-free) but I definitely needed the "something to do with my hands" aspect of vaping. I think there was a little bit of nicotine addiction, as the vaping dropped off naturally over about 18 months. I still have a lot of "fiddles".

[@meganray2376]

I've really started honoring body feelings and the need to stim since watching your videos. The best way for me to recover after work is 15-20 minutes of rather intense dancing and moving my whole body. Helps me calm down and relax into my evening. (transition difficulties??) My ex actually *still* says I'm "always doing something weird" 😂 i also pick at my nails and lips a lot, who knew it was all related lol

[@breadfan_85]

When I was a smoker, I would repeatedly flick my lighter in my pocket. Not enough to actually ignite, just enough to cause a spark. And there are a bunch involving my mouth. Wagging my tongue side to side, running my tongue across my teeth, chewing the inside of my cheeks (probably a bit more obvious), "curling" my tongue. Then there are the ones I do which are obvious, but I didn't think are obvious _as stims._ Finger drums, whistling, tossing my pen in the air and catching it, spinning my pen on my desk, hair twirling. I also am a toe curler. And I'm sure there are plenty more that I can't think of right now.

[@AgnesBalla9602]

Skin picking and biting cuticles, chewing my mouth, moving my fingers on different surfaces, textures, singing parts of songs on repeat

[@melanytodd2929]

👍

[@kryssygee4814]

Like three years - same seven notes - 🎶

[@joeydendron]

I'm big into silent beatboxing by chomping and clacking my teeth together. Also scratching my head, rubbing my face (less covert, when I'm more wound up). I laughed when you mentioned accents, I've had autistic comedian/author Fern Brady's scots accent going through my head for a few days now since I watched a recent interview of hers.

[@kiraharris919]

I like to "tune bounce" when I'm in a suoer happy/high energy mood. Hum or whistle part of a song and then shift my humming/whistling nonsense until the notes fall into another song. And just go on and on like that incessantly.

[@badassmother1426]

My granddaughter shakes/ flails her hands as a stimm. I've picked my nails/ cuticles, my entire life. As a child I would grind my teeth, my parents told me stop it, so I did. I've recognized my quirkiness and made myself stop doing quite a few of the other stimms I use to do. I have never been diagnosed and I'm 61yrs old now. I wish so much I'd had the internet growing up!

[@smay745]

Toe scrunching! And also I didn’t realize I do this, but my husband calls it the nervous cricket, when I rub the calves of my legs together really hard.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes! Cricketing! This comes up in my support groups a lot. :)

[@KarolinaKovacsova9]

I've recently spent a night in the forest all by myself. I have a lot of vocal stims related to my favorite cartoons and fairytales. It was 5:30 am and I was just sitting there for at least two hours, repeating everything again and again. I had no idea I needed that. Thank you Taylor ❤

[@melissak118]

I have never been diagnosed. I am just exploring now whether I might be on the spectrum. Watching your videos has really helped frame many of these ideas. When I was younger I used to smell things all the time, especially my pencils while sitting in class. Nobody noticed it, but it was super bad for me and got to be painful to do but I couldn't stop. I also used to clench my glutes so hard while sitting during class that I bruised my tailbone. It felt awful. I wish I'd known about stimming and needing another outlet. I recently bought a fidget ring that twirls around my finger and a stretchy bracelet to stim with. It's really helping me with my current unhealthy stims of scratching my scalp until it bleeds or pinching the skin on my hands over and over. I wish I'd had these ideas and resources earlier. I'm so glad kids now have them 💕

[@jessicahenderson3534]

I used to wiggle my toes so much that it would wear tracks into my insoles. I pick at my skin and nails, sing, pop joints, and gently play with my cats’ fur.

[@Anya54321]

Biting the inside of my lips and cheeks, often till they bled, picking at my fingers obsessively till they bled and would often get infected. There are others but those are the ones I did/do the most

[@holographic555]

Noise is a huge killer. It hurts literally some days. I must decompress or i disassociate

[@chrisboyd4433]

Mrs. Pash in middle school called me "a little drummer boy" because of my pencil drumming on my desk. To her credit, she made light of it and didn't make me stop.

[@chriscohlmeyer4735]

In third grade I learned to skrunch and crack my toes as my other overt stims resulted in a yardstick slamming on my desk which was now in front of the class. First and second grades my seat was in the back so that 1) I could calm my ADHD side by looking out the window unless the teacher was demonstrating something and 2) my stimming leg shake could just be except if I started bouncing the cast iron pedestal school desk then I was given one of mainly two tasks outside of the classroom to burn energy. Today 63 years after I still skrunch and crack my toes while leg shake is when I'm alone or around understanding people... and yes I finally stopped the smoking 11 years ago partly due to every smoke causing a replay of childhood abuse including SA. Music - I need it while driving and like to have it on at other times otherwise music just keeps playing in my head. Grocery store checkout I'm often drumming on the cart handle and rocking back and forth.

[@cynthiabohli-nelson1824]

I do the toe scrunching too, then wonder why my toes hurt!! I pull on my eyebrows, and rub between my brows. I smoked for many years, but 10 yrs smoke-free..i am finding healthier ways to stim. 😊

[@joyh6770]

Vocal stim. Animals are my world. So on walks or wherever, if a bird, dog, or anything makes a sound, I almost immediately have to try it myself. It's such a sudden and powerful urge, I have a hard time stopping myself in public. Don't want to cock-a-doodle-do for an audience 😅

[@ismailabdelirada9073]

According to the captions, we all have "a lot of pinup energy." Well, perhaps some of us do. A pinup of me would make people wonder why someone was looking at gargoyle pics. 🙃

[@Mumbles0225]

Chewing my fingernails was my biggest one, I think. I also counted things for a long time. Both I attributed to anxiety, which I suppose is true, but with another layer.

[@naynayandwhip5839]

I have so many… I can’t believe I didn’t realize for years that’s what I was doing! I pick at everything,scratch the side of my thumb, twist back-and-forth when I’m sitting/standing,scrunching/wiggling my toes, sniffing certain things, quietly singing same thing over&over, chewing on my lip. Also messing with my hair and the list goes on lol

[@oywiththewaywardtardis]

I was diagnosed ten years ago at age 22 and spent most of that decade learning to accept myself as autistic but not actually researching very much into autism, because it was wayyyyy too overwhelming. So now I’m trying to tackle the learning a little bit at a time. My current journey of self-discovery is trying to identify my own stims. When I first heard of stimming, my immediate thought was “oh I don’t do that, that’s an autism trait that I just don’t have”. It’s only recently that I’ve identified how I will occasionally start jiggling my leg as being a stim. I knew I’d do it in stressful situations, but also sometimes at random other times that didn’t seem to warrant it? Yeah. Definitely a stim. Your mention of self-harm actually fascinates me - those behaviors were still labeled in my head as “dramatic attention-seeking”, not as “necessary release of energy”. Even though I knew that the reason I dig my fingernails into my skin when my husband and I have a bad fight is because my skin is vibrating with bad energy and it needs an outlet or else I’ll explode somehow…yeah. Deprogramming all of the learned (negative) definitions of my own behaviors is a very slow but enlightening process.

[@123elliejo]

You've definitely defined me to a T while I'm still on the waiting list to get diagnosed the lady I seen to put me on it said I definitely have it 😅😅

[@genealogygeek6973]

Mimicking accents. Totally me. Did this the other day. Was talking with someone with a Southern accent and I caught myself talking back to them with a little bit of twang in my voice. 😂

[@Sasbie65]

Repeatedly humming the same brief tune. It's often my wake-up alarm melody.

[@andi56837ykvk]

So I am a bit 50/50 about whether/not I have autism but I plan to go thru the long arduous process to get the assessment thru the NHS. I rejected the idea initially cuz I don’t outwardly stim (no rocking or hand flapping etc). However recently I discovered that 1) I do stim in very overt hidden ways - ways that I didn’t realise before. 2) I do actually get overwhelmed in busy places. I get a headache and zone out without knowing why and 3) I get very tired but not know why - my stepmom used to think I was trying to be lazy. My overt stims- scrunching the toes, pressing my teeth together, attacking my nails and the skin on the sides of the nails, and as a kid I used to suck my lip. Ended up needing plastic surgery for that last one. After reviewing the similarities between these stimms I realised that it’s pressure that my body needs. So recently I’ve found that pressing my teeth down onto my thumb to be really helpful - it doesn’t need to be sore and it gives me the pressure I need. I also want to take up boxing at some point, just to box a punching bag and get out the pent up energy. My brain has been telling me it needs this but I just didn’t understand it til I started watching KZbin channels (like this one), talking about covert / hidden stimms. Thank you so much!!

[@Captn.kaos59]

I was picking my feet, plucking hair and yes, picking blackheads

[@beautifullifesageg.3951]

Ail biting, toe curling, blinking, face rubbing/ stroking. Wow…when I stop to think about it, there are A LOT! Late self-diagnosed at 54. ❤

[@yourbore]

I scrunch my toes all the time! Wtf hahaha. I'll mimic random noises or try and match notes in the office I work at. 36 yr old male, non diagnosed? I had no idea that was a stem. Is that why I have so much energy?

[@emilymoran9152]

Yes! I scrunch my toes constantly, but especially if I'm in an airplane or other crowded, noisy environment. But it is SO omnipresent yet covert that I didn't recognize it until last year!

[@angelagokool9514]

I’m a late-diagnosed Autistic, too (mine was at the age of 22). I often touch the nosepiece of my glasses sometimes. I occasionally fiddle with objects, like pens, or my keys. Otherwise, I don’t have any really obvious ones, like arm flapping or anything like that.

[@TheRkanuch]

You connected so many dots for me. I used to cut when I was younger. Than graduated to piercings and tattoos and hanging from hooks. But after my spiritual awakening I realized I am on the spectrum I’m undiagnosed but definitely have all the traits. I’m thankful for you!

[@pikmin4743]

oh yea, smoked ciggies for years and current daily 420 user. alcohol never agreed with me but I wanted to fit in. lifelong tapper/drummer. lava lamps and other vis stims. I'm still in the process of rediscovering them

[@robtooley4002]

As a kid I rocked back and forth a lot, twirled my hair, sucked on my hair, and bounced my leg. As I got older and told not to do those things a started picking the skin around my nails and cuticles and making repetitive patterns with my fingers. I started back leg bouncing this year almost any time I want and I've started rocking again when Im on my own and I love it! It's so soothing.

[@nibblesnbits]

Listening as I sit here stimming, which for me is chewing on my tongue.😂

[@funniful]

Lol 😆…scrunching my toes as you spoke it!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

haha I knew I would be calling some people out!! :)

[@freshelfpie]

I lift my big toe over and over and over again, alternating between left and right foot, like reverse drumming, sort of. I do this so much that I wear holes in the TOPS of my shoes where my big toenails get pushed into them. I try to find shoes that have an extended toe cap, generally hiking shoes, to prevent this happening.

[@annabelwarmington4164]

Bingo! I do that one alot too. And then add in swapping the little toes, with the big ones, for extra rhythm. I wear holes in my socks, but so far not my shoes.

[@breadfan_85]

Huh. I mostly wear boots now, but when I was younger I always developed holes on the tops of my shows, right over my big toe. I don't remember being a toe wiggler back then, but maybe I was. I have been for my entire adult life, as far as I can remember. I also wear out my socks, right at the big toe.

[@lish8591]

I tend to flex my big toe. I didn't realize it until I had examined my shoes.

[@chrismaxwell1624]

Early diagnosed and I have lot of covert stims from being punished for stimming in school. All the ones you mentioned even hair twirling but when I had long hair I did that.

[@Lady_Elizabeth_Brenner]

Toe scrunching, covertly fingerspelling words I say, "writing" words I hear on myself with my finger, face picking (I have hormonal acne which makes that worse), hair twirling, knuckle cracking (and I have a specific order in which I crack my knuckles), occasionally small annoying noises, constant fidgeting, and there's probably more that I'm just forgetting about. Oh, and someone said having a song stuck on repeat in your head. I have had that my entire life. My dad has it too.

[@awkwardemily15]

Love this! I don't know if I'm autistic, I do have ADHD and I find autistic content really helpful! At school there was a student success award banquet recently and it was long. We had an intermission lol. I had braided a portion of my hair and there were a couple of inches that weren't in the braid at the ends. I was going to town on that section, stroking my fingers through it. I was conscious of doing it and I knew I was stimming. In the past I've tried so hard to sit still and be proper, and if I noticed I was the only one doing something "weird" I'd do my best to stop. Anyway, all of that to say, I purposefully stimmed and I like my hair, so why not (it's probably the only thing I truly love about my appearance).

[@joelarson79]

Omg, I was late diagnosed at age 51 and Ive scrunched my toes since I can remember. I never realized that was a stim. That's wild.

[@MichaelLesterClockwork]

My main covert stim is with virtual limbs in what I call "mindspace". Where I also do 3D+ modelling of stuff.

[@RivLoveshine]

I was thankfully diagnosed as a child. But I definitely scrubch my toes. Although fir me, it's not a forn of stimming. For me, I scrunch my toes anytime I walk near a feather on the ground. This is because feathers terrify me and one time as a kid a feather got stuck in my shoe (Crocs) and I was horrified.

[@threshasketch2655]

I self-discovered my neurospicy side at age 35 or so (I am now 37.) Now that I recognize what they are, I realize I've been stimming a whole lot since I was a kid. My obvious ones are rocking and wobbling back and forth in chairs that rotate (like my desk chair), but I have heaps of covert stims: cracking my fingers, popping arm and neck and shoulder joints, rubbing along where my fingers rest on my mouse on either side of the middle scroll wheel, lightly pulling the sides and front of my fingers away from the nails (one finger at a time, side, side, tip, side side tip, across one hand and then the other), cracking and scrunching my toes whether inside shoes or not, and listening to favorite songs over and over every day without getting tired of them. II'm lucky I have never had a stim that hurt.

[@holographic555]

Lavender and blueberry anything is a huge comfort. A big dark room of ocean sounds and rain sounds. Listening to my many huge playlists for hours. Pastels, rainbow anything is immediately self soothing. I get soooo joyous and calm. I buy a lot of "natural smelling" soaps, dish soap, hand sanitizer, shower steamers

[@dosbabymama]

During my then 17 yr olds 504 meeting, a teacher said he was surprised to get a questionnaire on her. He said she pays attention, excels in his class, and she never stims. She literally had been stimming that entire meeting! But she wears beaded bracelets and rolls the beads, she wears spinner rings and textured rings, she has an assortment of mini squishmallowes she clips to her belt loop so she can rub or squeeze them. He just didnt know what to look for.

[@jbrubin8274]

My very first stim began at around 6/7 months old. Basically as soon as I had enough control over my own body to raise my hand to my left ear. The lobe is slightly longer and curls up a bit, another flaw to add to the list. I was and to this day always playing with it, flicking it subtly back and forth. I am also able to curl it up and push it into my ear canal. I do this with my hair as well, right on in there. That odd sensation has always brought me comfort. I suspect it was in response to growing up in a family where everyone but me had some degree of hearing loss, my mom’s being the most severe. Based off of that I was tested very young. Everyone assumed I too would need help. Everyone was wrong, I actually tested as slightly better than the normal range. That’s some divinely inspired comedy right there, autism plus great hearing, with a touch of epilepsy. Yep I’m the total package. 🤷‍♀️😂

[@janhill626]

I wish I could stop my repetitive blinking. I was diagnosed last week and am 54 now.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I understand how upsetting/annoying this can be to blink repetitively.

[@janhill626]

@MomontheSpectrum Thank you Tay, and for your amazingly supportive fantastic and utterly life-saving channel

[@malapropia]

Meditation/Reverie is my primary stim. The moment I figured that out completely rocked my world. No wonder I always got so annoyed anytime anyone talked about meditation in preachy terms.

[@staciejean]

Can you explain what mediation / reverie is? I'm curious

[@izroel56]

Curious minds want to know here, too

[@sherronburns9409]

I'm curious too! I had a long meditation practice for 15+ years. But since finding out I'm autistic, I can barely meditate anymore. I don't know yet why this is a thing, but I think active meditation is suiting me better at the moment, like walking or dancing, with intention and mindful presence.

[@staciejean]

@@sherronburns9409 yeah, wow. I just got into this huge discussion with my daughter. We are reading a wonderful book but it talks about 'sitting meditation' and how you have to sit "through the pain" or discomfort of it, and that just completely turned me off. It felt way too dogmatic and rigid, even kinda legalistic. But that could be because I came from a toxic fundamentalist background that I view it that way. Either way. I would live to know if my feelings about this are related to autism somehow? Thanks for commenting, good food for thought! Wishing you all the best on your path✨️💖

[@malapropia]

@@staciejean Hey everyone! :) gahhhh this is so nice to hear of other people's experiences. I would love a whole forum to hear about how other autistic people relate to meditation, so long as there wasn't a didactic aspect to it. Enough of saying that we need to "learn"! We already have innately meditative behavior. I feel that stimming is inherently meditative, and when the movement is suppressed, a lot of us turn inwards without realizing it. I'd be STOKED to hear more about peoples experiences with this. Basically, I use all kinds of internal processing, being with my internal experiences, both still and active. I no longer even try to "sit" with other people because it is like trying to swim in the opposite direction of a school of fish. I love active meditations (walking, running, hiking). I do love sitting with other people, but the dogma around meditation is deeply icky. I don't need to silence my mind! I can feel profoundly stuck in a non-verbal, hyper-present moment. Stuck in the present moment, I used to call it. And I would meditate to get back to the flow of time and attachment. I need more language, not less, and I need time to be with the non-verbal formlessness that is my dominant cognition, to start to anchor it to words are representations. I need to engage more with attachment and affect, not disassociate. I understand that many autistic people might have a different need for meditation, but I do believe that all of us will violate the stereotypes of mind that most contemplative practices promote. Perhaps instead of trying to let go of a thought without feeling something, without attributing meaning or identifying with it, perhaps we need to find that meaning, feeling, identity, in order to complete our complex meaning-making drive. Basically, I feel that autistic people have all kinds of innate meditation tricks that we do to self regulate. I feel that Buddhism evolved to work with the non-autistic mind, to break people out of self-centered and conformist thinking, and while within Buddhism there might be all kinds of insights for us, the overall goal is about breaking the associations non-autistic minds make. I don't think our minds build meaning the same way at all. We need MORE self, not less. More time flow, not the timelessness. More desire, goal, and attachment, not detachment. I've got a lot of neuroscience research I've found that backs this. If I could get my act together, I'd make a video. I'm long winded and a bit scattered today. I'm deeply appreciative to hear other autistic experiences to these sacred cows of Meditation culture: attachment, formlessness, Self, time. My theory, in essence, is that we would be very polarized (ie hyper- and hypo-attached) whereas non-autistic people are struggling in some conformist middle ground. I'd especially love to know how other autistic experiences internally are different from mine. It is so hard to understand other autistic people sometimes! But when I get the details, even if their minds are so different from mine, the underlying pattern that unites us comes into view. And I really love that.

[@AgnesBalla9602]

Skin picking and biting cuticles, chewing my mouth, moving my fingers on different surfaces, textures

[@electromagneticuniverse2361]

Washing and drying my hands. Rinsing my hands methodically - no sticky ick left on skin. And drying, especially drying between my fingers - No uneven wetness left on hands! 🧼🤗 Washing and rinsing utensils. And, yes. My water bill reflects how much I enjoy my "covert" stimming. ^^^ I'm a toe scruncher too!

[@flashgirl555]

Chewing gum…. Never without it! Late diagnosed at 50 two months ago.

[@CarolynAbercrombie-mb9hn]

Smoking!!! This realization helped me cut back on my marijuana medication intact. I knew I was over medicating but I didn't even know I was doing it. When I replaced my vape with a fake vape, added a texture sticker to it and problem solved.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

This is super interesting and great to hear! Thanks for sharing.

[@Aquavita-]

I'm not officially diagnosed yet but you just made me have such an aha moment when it comes to smoking, I had a hard time giving up my binky as a kid and then would chew on my thumb or straws before I started smoking, I can go days without even a craving but when driving or just having too much pent up energy I want to smoke and its hard to quit because I'd miss the action or relaxation that it can provide. I've got somethings to look into further now and maybe find away to finally kick the habit. Thank you!

[@kiraharris919]

Tightening or extending muscles to their max in my toes. I also do this in my eyes, with my eyes closed. There's some kind of muscle back there behind the eyeball that you can feel flexing. I'll even do it to a pattern/rhythm

[@Lynee5290]

Skin picking, rocking left to right when standing in queues etc (hate queuing for anything 😩) rubbing my neck while tugging at my hair behind my right ear, foot tapping underneath the table and just general fidgeting. I’ve recently started using fidget toys, finding it really helps.

[@taylorsmith4128]

Twirling my hair and picking at my face.

[@minawent6946]

Twirling my hair, finger movements, having a specific song which matches my mood on repeat and I don't know if I can count reading books as a stim. Because when I'm stressed I do that to a point that I even read while walking and I get really nervous and antsy when when I can't do that. Can't relax otherwise. I am quite new to all of it and just learning that I had suppressed a lot of my stims in my childhood because I got told that "normal people" don't do that. Watch the other people and behave like them.

[@heyyyhello1558]

I just scrunched my toes as soon as she said it 😂😂

[@rose-mariedekoning8471]

Two physical stims that developed during my teens that my mum (and dad, but mostly mum) tried to squash because it looked weird: moving my right shoulder forward (I'm left-handed) and back; and clenching my right side, which caused my left shoulder to move forward. I suppressed those stims and switched them for finger cracking. She hated that as well, but if I did it one at a time, she most often didn't notice it. After I got diagnosed and got into a stressful situation, they came back. And now that I know they're stims, I'm perfectly fine just doing them whenever. One thing I only recently realised thanks to facebook reels and youtube shorts is that eating can be a stim too. That explained a LOT about my teen years. I used to munch a whole pack of toasted bread (biscottes?) away just before I went to sleep, while reading a book in bed. Nothing on them, just plain. And I still love eating toast without anything on it, but I try to limit it to the weekends and with something like egg salad. Anything crunchy, I LOVE. Another stim I do almost daily is a vocal one. I do a sort of 'huh' or 'hmm' multiple times in a row.

[@OriginalCosmicBabe]

I’m 54 and have always been a cat lady, and only realized after my diagnosis that touching/petting cats is one of my stims. Also listening to them purr (I never get tired of it!). The few times in my life when I couldn’t have a cat due to living situations, I was completely miserable and my house was always spotless (cleaning is definitely a covert stim). The stim I don’t like is cuticle skin picking. I can remember doing it as young as age 6, and sometimes I’ll do it to the point that I bleed. Right now, 3 of my fingers have half-healed spots from that. The only way I can stop doing it is to constantly have my hands busy with something. I used to crochet for hours each evening, but now I have tendinitis in my elbows which acts up if I crochet too much.

[@jennifersmith8923]

The wild blinking brought me sooooooo much shame. I was restaurant management and later a personal banker and it really ostracized me....I was able to gradually change it to foot twitching, hair playing, phone checking, and silent small pen twirling. All quiet non distracting things.

[@izroel56]

Harmful one... skin picking (scabs in particular) When I get really excited I do a subdued arm flapping. Crossing my legs, and rubbing my face. There are so many. I could write a book.

[@izroel56]

Cutting my nails very short slows down the picking 😄

[@DanKoenigJr]

Can we get #freethestim trending cause it just sooooo needs to be a thing!

[@sherronburns9409]

#freethestim YES!

[@chrisjeffrey4212]

I tap my teeth together & lift up my big toes up & down in time to an imaginary tune in my head 😆 Not sure if this is a stim or not, but when I'm a passenger in the car, especially if we' travelling on holiday, I will see town or shop names etc that take my fancy (especially if they're rhythmic or tickle my fancy) and just keep repeating them. I like how it sounds. I have a few others as well & have just found the joy of owning a squishy unicorn. It's horn & ears & wings, especially, are so satisfying to pull & squeeze & stroke. I've never done anything like this before, but I watched a video on stimming & found out that I have quite a lot. Who knew??? 😁

[@GLaDtoHavApples]

My brother and I have been known as the 'office hummers' due to our tendencies to hum (and at possible much louder volumes than we realize)... whoops!

[@cdcdogs4961]

I roll my fingers like I’m rolling a booger. 🤭😅

[@Mnaughten601]

Drinking was a big one for a long time, twisting my tongue in my mouth, bouncing my leg. But apparently most of my other stims were not as covert as I thought. Rock bouncing left and right, humming, flapping items in front of my face. I was always just labeled as weird, and nobody really said anything about it.

[@sjadarkest]

I have what I refer to as my "Idle Animation" as I hate standing still for any length of time. Mostly I pace in circles if alone but if theres a few people around Ill shift weight from one foot to the other and back. On rare occasions, you might catch me doing the shoulder bop or the Stevie Wonder head sway if Im feeling like Im in a safe environment.

[@user-mq5yb6ld3e]

Laughing at myself-Was reading all the comments when the mouse pointer caught my eye, Yes, I was stimming with the MOUSE!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

💓 🐭

[@B2-B9]

So funny I laughed when you said toe scrunching and I noticed I was doing it lols... i didn't even notice before that lols. I tried to stop doing it then it felt really uncomfortable. I remember being teased in primary school for talking with my hands then I tried really hard not to do that any more so yes probably stim in other ways that sometimes I don't even notice. Yet it actually does calm you down. So yes embrace your stims and the more awareness of it the less people are going to pick on people or try and stop others or themselves for those behaviours. Unless it's unhealthy maybe we can work on trying alternative stims to help. I don't know it's so difficult. Yet I have also come to the conclusion this morning that It's not something I can just cure and get rid of or heal itself. I have to embrace that this is part of me and I'll always have it. I think for a long time I have been trying to solve this and try and fix it. Yet it's OK. There is nothing wrong with being Autistic it's difficult yes yet it doesn't mean you are not as good as another neurotypycal person. Like anything that is discriminated against, no one is better just different. ❤