Retired, single, living alone pros and cons, this is my cons

[@markjg2275]

I am a 64-year-old man never married no kids single all my life no regrets. Dated a few times when I was young, and the women were no good only seeking wealthy men too demanding too critical on everything and bossy. To combat any loneliness, I have hobbies watch old movies a good book house chores yard work gardening and a Ragdoll cat who loves me and does not complain or judge me how I look how I dress and what I do. If I want to be around people, I just go to a coffee shop in town I have neighbors too. The only problem I can think of being alone is if you get really sick and need help that can be a challenge, but my neighbor can help with that too or a call to 911. Other than that, I live in peace all is well.

[@nigella4me]

I've worried about the same thing, what if something happens to me and no one is here. But I had to let go of that worry because it was consuming me. If something happens to me and no one is around to save me, well, then it is what it is. Luckily my kids have always been there for me when I needed them, but one never knows what can happen. To me pets are a true gift when you live alone, I can't fathom being without my little dogs. I'm glad you're in peace and happy. Thank you for joining us here. 😊

[@MeeMee-qt7ww]

I think everyone men and woman deep down inside all want someone to love, care for and share their life with. As you get older it's very hard to find a kind caring man that tells you he wants you in his life. If I never meet someone special I am well used to living alone as I'm not needy and dependant on a man. I'm well into my 70s and would like a man friend who lives in his house and I live in mine.

[@nigella4me]

I understand what you mean. There are days I would give anything to have a wonderful man in my life, and days when I wouldn't want one around. It's a confusing place to be in sometimes, but life goes on with or without that special someone. Thank you for joining us. 😊

[@barbaratodd1769]

I guess my cons are more along the line of at 71 my upper body strength is not what it used to be. I have had to get very inventive with things that need to done on the property. Listening to you talking about compromising got me thinking. When I was younger I was the queen of compromising, keeping the peace, not making waves. Not anymore! I have literally become that person, “it’s my way or the highway!” I know what works for me and how to accomplish it. Great video!

[@nigella4me]

LOL! I know you feel. My way or the highway is what we get to after a life of dealing with other people and their ways and personalities. Yes, I've had to watch what I do concerning my body too because muscles are pulled easier now and I've had some HORRIBLE pain from that. And injuries take longer to heal now than when I was younger. Ahhh the joys of getting older! Hope your week is a good one Barbara, I'm glad you'r here. 😊

[@ingenuity296]

Have a movement detector that gives out a loud sound. When you feel lonely, put on the music and dance.

[@nigella4me]

My dogs are really good alerts, they hear things outside that I never hear. It's really strange. I do put on music and dance now and then, but those lonely times still creep in now and then. It's just part of living alone. Something we have to get used to I guess. Thanks for being here. 😊

[@PurpleMoon13264]

A con for me is not having a partner to travel with. I travel with friends, family and plan to take my first solo vacation soon. However, sometimes what I crave is travelling with someone I have a romantic connection with. I’ll add that if the romantic partner isn’t a good fit they can actually make a vacation less fun rather than more fun. I’ve experienced that too with two men I was in long term relationships with. One of my closest friends has an awesome guy. I wish he could be cloned.

[@nigella4me]

I know what you mean. Traveling with someone is always more fun. I feel that way about even the simplest of trips, like to the store or wherever. Just a good man that I love and loves me right there to be with. Sometimes I crave that romantic connection very strongly too. It's just human nature to want that love feeling. I miss it very much. Sometimes my heart just aches to be in a man's arms with a warm loving hug. Your friend is lucky, I wish I could find a great guy, but he would literally have to be the perfect fit for me. I no longer have the patience to deal with anyone's crap anymore. I'd rather be alone than be with the wrong guy just so I won't be alone. Thank you for joining us on here and good luck on your solo vacation. 😊

[@kimdrenth6240]

I am a strong person and have lived alone 18.5 years. It's alright but honestly it is lonely. People are designed to be relational and share. Ya there is all this freedom..it's okay. But in time I need ssomeone.

[@nigella4me]

I hear you! Some days the need for someone to be around is SO strong and it's hard to deal with when that happens. But it's slowly getting better for me. I agree, people need people. Thank you for sharing your true feelings. 😊

[@rowdyraven2009]

I miss having affection and being hugged daily...I miss this SO much. Doing outings and activities together...I rarely go to things now.......Having a man to help with the physical things around the house that need done that I'm unable to do..like the gutters...etc and now have to hire and pay someone for. I don;t always have the extra money so this then becomes a stress....I don't need a father for my kids or a good provider like i looked for in a man when I was younger. Now....I just want a compatible companion who I enjoy and they enjoy me. ....We are loyal to each other .. come together when we want and care about and love one another. For whatever reasons... this is very hard to find now. Men don't look at me like they did when I was younger. Some times it hurts how the eyes of others don't seem to see me and look right past me. Being an optimist though I am always open and hopeful. I wish for myself and for everyone to have our later years happy ,content and to find that loving joyful companion.we are meant to be with.💚💜💛

[@nigella4me]

You said it so well. I truly feel the same about all of that. When my kids or grandkids hug me I don't want to let go. It feels so good to be hugged, I miss that so much too. I agree with all the things you wrote. I know how you feel about things needing to be done around the house. When money is tight you can't always hire someone. It seems men have changed drastically now. Not so kind and caring anymore, I don't know. I guess whatever will be will be. Another thing I really miss is just sitting together and talking, talking about any and everything with someone you're romantically involved with. Take care and keep up the hope, it's about all we can do. 😊

[@Starfish2145]

I don’t mind living alone, but I would like to have a boyfriend. The problem in our age group is that men in their 60s start dating women in their 30s 40s 50s etc. They will rarely date in their own age group.

[@nigella4me]

I kinda feel the same way. Don't know yet if I want someone daily in my life, but would love to have a guy to share some things in life with. And I agree, older guys, no matter how they look, will go after younger women. It's just not easy to find a good, mature, kind guy anymore. Thank you for joining us here. 😊

[@juliesmith8153]

Iam catching up on your videos today. I forgot to mention that I love your fall decorations. I can see both sides. Right now I am married with 3 adult children at home. I am very grateful my children are still at home. Have a nice weekend 🤗😘🍁🍂🎃

[@nigella4me]

Thank you Julie! I love to decorate my home for Fall. I miss my kids being home so much. When my son moved out it was SO hard to be in this house alone. I'm glad you're in a happy place right now. You have a good weekend too! 😊

[@jmontoya6661]

Wow so much to consider about living alone. I see this in my future because my husband is so sick currently. I’ve had a long marriage. I know it’s going to be uncomfortable and lonely. How do you meet someone that meets the expectations? I think I would have to step out and visit a senior center or do volunteer work? It would have to start as a friendship and see how those interactions go? Am I naive to think that? Also, being with the same man for almost 45 yrs, I know nobody is perfectly going to meet my needs, so I have to have my own things that make me happy. I have an outgoing nature and hate being stuck alone, so I will need to be careful. You have so much to offer and your beautiful too, maybe you need to step out here and there and find it that way, I laughed so hard at your online adventures!!!😮 Scary! But in order meet someone you need to be somewhere to meet a possible widow who might fit?

[@nigella4me]

@@jmontoya6661 I'm so sorry about your husband, I can imagine the emotions you're experiencing. I have an outgoing nature too and being alone is really a challenge. But after dating some real losers and trying online dating, I've decided if someone is meant to be in my life, he will be. I'll meet him regardless of what I'm doing. I wish it could happen like it did for Paula Deen. Her dogs got loose and ran to a neighbors house, then it happened again two weeks later, that time he asked her out. They've been married for 20 years now. I just don't have it in me anymore to go "searching" for someone. Being older just makes it so much harder. When you marry young you grow together, get some of the same habits, etc. Being older we're pretty set in our ways and that makes it so much harder to adjust. Sending you love and strength for what you and your hubby are going through. ❤

[@jmontoya6661]

@@nigella4me Thank you for your kind words, really appreciate it. I’m sure fate and destiny has some truth to it. Unless you are at this age it’s hard to imagine all the complications, right? I think if you have possibly 15-20 years left, seems hard for some to be alone, though many are completely content with that. My best friend who lives in NJ lost her husband 2 yrs ago and has no desire to ever be in a relationship. I admire her contentment. Thanks for a wonderful conversation today. Take care.

[@annr8514]

Living alone is lonely but as time goes on it gets easier! I think what keeps me going-stay on a routine and make sure I have lots of things to do and appointments. I believe keeping busy is the key to life! A strong single women who has a full life puts that first before a man. I think you have already figured it out ! xoxo

[@nigella4me]

It's certainly been a difficult journey, but it is getting easier as time goes by. I have to really fight those "lonely blues" when they hit because they can hit hard. I'm finding ANYTHING to keep me busy during the day. Believe it or not, when evening and night comes I feel much better. It's like I know the day is done and time to let go of everything. I have my candles lit and the house is comfy. I know one thing though, I'll never just "settle" with any man just so I won't be lonely. If I'm not happy with him, then my life would be a waste if I stayed with him. 😊

[@MeeMee-qt7ww]

You deserve a kind caring man Nigella" and yes of course you're not going to settle for less. Pamper and nurture yourself♥️​@@nigella4me

[@leighwiseman8389]

I share a house with my husband, we don't do anything together and have separate bedrooms. What I find hard to deal with and have had to deal with this for 46 years of marriage is the toilet situation. He always leaves a dirty toilet or body hair if you know what I mean all over the place. I have an upstairs toilet but his hygiene habits are disgusting. Sometimes I'm reduced to tears over it because I've discussed this problem with him for decades and he doesn't care and has no pride. I have to clean up after him because I can't stand that disgusting mess in my house especially when you have visitors and god forbid they would think that was me leaving the toilet in such a state. Thank you so much, have enjoyed your video. Take care xxx

[@nigella4me]

I'm so sorry you're going through that. I know what you mean though. When I was married I had a hard time making my husband understand that keeping a clean house was important. I certainly don't miss all of that. We actually got into fights because I wanted him to stop being so lazy. I'm glad you enjoyed the video and thank you for being here. Sending you hugs and strength to deal with that situation. 😊

[@leighwiseman8389]

@nigella4me Thank you Nigella, have a good week xxx

[@lisaschmidt8466]

My cons are missing him when I have plumbing issues, he always supported me emotionally, we laughed together and genuinely cared for each other. I gave back to him equally and I respected his values. But we grew apart and I do enjoy being alone more often than not. No regrets! Life is good.

[@nigella4me]

Yes, plumbing issues, forgot about that. For me at this point it's really a double edged sword with the good and not so great. But I'm slowly becoming more happy being alone in my little house. As I type this my two little dogs are snuggled up next to me on the couch, and it is peaceful. Their little warm bodies feel so good against me. Life is good right at this moment. Glad you're here. 😊

[@lisaschmidt8466]

@@nigella4me I resonate with what you’re experiencing. I’m happy to have found your channel.

[@nigella4me]

Thank you so much, I'm glad you're here. I'm experiencing so many different feelings now, it's confusing. One day I'm up, one day I'm down. Ugh!!!! LOL! 😊

[@Tammy.50]

@@nigella4me that is life up and down, no worries at the end we are fine❤️😊

[@Tammy.50]

Excellent 🎉

[@caramelrose819]

I enjoy sharing my baking too. It’s nice to be greeted when you arrive back home. Good video.

[@nigella4me]

Thank you! Yes, cooking and having no one to share it with is not so great. And yes, it would be so nice to have someone to greet me when I get home. But luckily I have two little dogs that do that, they are SO excited when I walk in the door. They miss and love me unconditionally. Have a good weekend! 😊

[@bk4of4]

It's the part about trust that resonates with me. I think many of us would not be alone if we were able to trust. God help us.

[@nigella4me]

Yes, the trusting part is hard once you've been burned badly. I always worry about giving my heart away only to have it crushed. Thanks for being here. 😊

[@Starfish2145]

It is not normal or natural for people to be alone. Only extreme introverts enjoy it.

[@nigella4me]

I agree. I don't think it's natural at all, at least not for me. It's been a huge challenge for me to deal with. Sometimes I just want that nice, tight romantic hug and loving words but there's no guy around to give that. UGH!!!! 😊

[@luvmytommy1]

Love all your fall and halloween deorations!! I agree with what you are sayiing. I have one sided deafness. I have dogs, burglar alarm, etc. Snoring!!! No way! I enjoy watching your videos and everything you talk about. Thank you..

[@nigella4me]

Thank you so much! I also have deafness in my left ear from an ear infection caused by Covid when it first hit us. It settled in my ear and killed off most of the nerves. So I have to wear a hearing aid in that ear. Thankfully I have some hearing left in it. Yes, living alone can have many ups and downs and those downs can be tough. So glad you're here. 😊

[@luvmytommy1]

@@nigella4me So sorry you lost your hearing because of Covid! Nice you can wear a hearing aid, although it must have been difficult to get use to. Take care.

[@nigella4me]

It's been a journey getting used to it. Sometimes I just don't wear it because my ear is too sensitive to it on some days. I have to adjust it now and then. But I'm grateful to have it. 😊

[@Tammy.50]

Thank you ❤

[@nigella4me]

You're very welcome! 😊

[@deborahvella2323]

All true Weldone

[@nigella4me]

Thank you so much! It's just how I try feel. Hope your weekend is a good one! 😊

[@Tammy.50]

It is cute!

[@nigella4me]

Thank you! 😊