My father's death, my miscarriages & marriage - Why I almost gave up on God (Mental Health Battle)

As promised, I will be sharing with you the struggles I’ve had in the last three years. We shared key moments we can point to that contributed to my breakdown. A complete version will be uploaded in two parts on the @anythinggoeswiththebonis podcast (Available on Spotify!). 🎙Stay tuned for that one. But for now, here is my narration of what I can remember during the time when there was nothing I could see beyond the present moment, and when I would question the necessity of my existence. My hope is that my story will make some of you feel a little less alone today, and a little bit more normal, making peace with the fact that it is a difficult task to rebuild ourselves from being broken by so many things.
In case you need any help, below is a document of a list of affordable counseling and psychiatric consultation in the Philippines, hope this helps in some way:
bit.ly/3FR26eO
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Music by Epidemic Sound
I upload vlogs weekly and you can find me doing daily things on my other social media accounts:
Facebook: / ricaperalejob. .
Instagram: / ricaperalejo
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For Business Inquiries, email: [e-mail]
#MentalHealthAwareness #RicaPeralejo

[@AlexGonzagaOfficial]

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@limeya]

Watched yours (Alex) first and I was 😭 cuz finally someone understands. And then came here (Rica). And emotions and experiences now has words. 😭😭😭 Thank you for sharing.

[@kiacaramugan8104]

I was crying the whole time. I realized I was "lowkey" angry with God because of all the things that had happened to me this year. I didn't have the time to pause and process what was going on. When you said that it's ok to lash out at God, to cry out to Him, I cried even more. Ganon pala kasi dapat sa isang tatay. We can tell Him honestly what we want to say kasi before, I thought na pag nagalit o nagtampo ako sa Kaniya, magagalit din Siya sa akin. I thought that I was the one who held our relationship. But thank God for your testimony, Ms Rica. It felt like God was speaking to me too.

[@jorgiapolo4061]

😭😭😭

[@casandratangon]

❤️❤️❤️

[@maryjanemandac6987]

❤️♥️♥️♥️

[@arasnetwork4885]

Same thoughts. Watching this vlog was really a big revelation on my end.

[@ladyloupido329]

Thank you, Ms Rica :) I was also crying while watching this and it is so timely for me. I praise GOD for your life. The LORD bless you continually as you bless other people with your contents. 🙏🏻♥️

[@kimberlyroperez7720]

God bless you all.. those who are going through something, hang in there.. God is working behind close doors

[@GEORGINA1013]

grabe! That was so painful. So heartbreaking. Happy and glad that you were able to get through it. By His Grace and Love. 💓💕💓

[@jennalynmondigo]

I think this is what I went through too. When I had my first born I lost myself and when she started to get attached with other people I just push her away too. I have lost myself since 2015 and just got back last 2020. Thanks to the Lord for holding me again. I just wish you could share what are the books to read regarding child development or even parenthood so that I could know. Just want to share also, my father passed away when I was turning 2 years old so I don't know how to live with a family. Maybe that is the reason for my struggle.. Thanks for this vlog, so relatable. Thank you Lord!

[@jeielfaithcoga-ay8868]

Thank you for this. I'm really learning a lot from your vlogs. God bless!

[@dhangmagracia2361]

I cried bucket of tears remembering all the things that my husband and I went through this year, the nights when I just kept on asking God "why?". Thank you for this video--- it reminded me that God's grace is enough and that when I am weak, he's strong. Thank you Ms Rica and Pastor Joe. I felt being hugged by the Lord tonight. Thank you.

[@ambassadoroffaith1018]

Hello po watching from California

[@brianequinto]

This is a proof that we are broken people living in a broken world. But this story is also a proof that God is able to give us Shalom, and make us whole. THANK YOU FOR THIS VLOG.

[@lah_bang2179]

Well said! Amen! ♥️

[@emilyvalencia2401]

What sets Rica apart from others is her innate ability to come up with such brilliant vblog that doesn't require her to feature BIG personalities and yet manages to give viewers and followers a very substantial, relevant and spritual discussion.. her reflections and realizations are so life giving..

[@lassieskucina1741]

Louder pls! I don't usually follow celeb vlogs, but Rica's mind is so captivating and engaging, very positive,hindi pilit yung pagiging articulate nya, I admire yung pagiging real nya sa vlog nya,she doesn't want to portray a "super prim and proper" kaya I followed her vlogs 💕💕💕💕

[@patriciadelatorre2266]

Or maybe, let’s stop putting competition with everyone because their vlogs are different, well atleast for those who are vlogging with sense. They pray, and it is God who leads them to what to make as a content. Guys, there is full of negativity in the world, let’s not add to that. If you don’t agree with other vloggers then just stop following, block them if you may. You dont need to let people and Rica know that she’s better than any vlogger. They are vlogging eith God’s leading.

[@banana3840]

I love this "God allowed me to lose myself, so that I can find myself in Him" ❤️

[@hmdheaven]

This made me cry. God makes us whole no matter how broken we are. Yung tipong last thread na ng sanity ko ito Lord, ioffer ko na sayo lahat, wala nang strength na natira, sagad na Lord. Parang wala namang nangyayari. Tapos yun pala, He's been holding you all along. Grabe ang Grace ni Lord. At naiyak na naman ako ulit... Thank you for sharing this. ❤️‍🩹

[@mitch078]

Grabe kayo, Joe and Carla, pinaiyak nyo ako ng sobra-sobra. Everything was on point. I’m a subscriber of your podcast so I will continue listening there. Thank you very much.

[@aeranoiccele4814]

It’s not an accident hearing this, I was so drained mentally last night and crying the whole night. But thanks to the reminder, we are just human di naman natin minsan ma control ang lahat but how Amazing it was na when you cry so loud and to the point that you cant breathe, He’s there. Your so lucky to have Pastor Joe , he just stared at you and feel your pain too until the end of the Video and I would say he’s your opposite to complete you. God bless

[@SinneD2305]

Thank you for sharing this. My wife and I reflected on our marriage journey and it does remind us of how God’s grace keeps us despite our brokenness as individuals. Wonderful testimony. 🙏🏻

[@faithramos9932]

actually got me crying hard the whole vid, cause first i really relate with the rapid fire trauma, pushing people away cause of the thinking people's live are better off without you in theirs, mental health battle (i have depression and anxiety disorder), and sometimes being faithless because situation never improves or sometimes even gets worse. thankful na may nagvovoice out with their experiences like this cause i dont feel so alone na after hearing your story plus how God voices out His immeasurable and incomparable love that leads me to realize na ganun din nya ko alagaan even when things are at wreck or when "i lost control of all things". anxiety always has me being want to be in control but thank God na He just listems to me whenever i make reklamo na bakit ganito ganyan buhay ko and still gently and lovingly sorts things out. hay, ang galing ni Lord sa mga buhay natin. thankful for your life Ms. Rica, thank you for this 💕

[@kriziaannmendoza5549]

🤗🤗🤗🤗

[@bevsylarde6740]

Hi Faith! You are not alone. 🙂

[@arahibe1227]

I am crying the whole time. I took quiet time listening/watching to this. Lahat ng diko maintindihan lahat ng mga bagay na diko ma explain na paulit ulit lang, this is an answered prayer for me. Salamat for opening my eyes that kahit diko na kaya I can rest with my Gods presence I just need to allow him completely to control my life and realize na even if I let him go He never did. He was with me all along. Thank you Bonis! Keep doing what you do keep spreading Gods words in this broken world we have. Salamat, salamat sainyo.

[@irenede5757]

This made me cry. I thought I was listening to myself while I was watching it. We have the same struggles, my infertility ,the death of my dad and not having a closure. I felt so alone in my struggles and that no one understands me. It also felt like God was not listening to my prayers or I am being punished for my past mistakes...thank you for this Carla. May God continue to bless you with wisdom so you can be a blessing to others.😍

[@uzzielcruz4454]

Thankful I was able to watch this. My family is going through difficult time. My nephew passed away last month. And I almost gave up on my faith. Your story really moved me, esp when you talked about having a Father who’s holding everything together for us. Like you, grew up without a father.

[@melertzdmd]

"You're going to be there for them, even when they're difficult." "...and when you can't hope, I will hope for you." 🥺 I could relate to all the mental health issues that you mentioned here, Ms. Rica, but these lines got me crying. All because I have someone who never left my side even if I was going "crazy" and I was becoming so difficult to deal with. Praise God for people like them. It just shows how much God loves us. He will always send people along the way who will touch our hearts and our lives in ways we would never anticipate. All by His grace 😭 This vlog, grabe. Thank you, Ms. Rica. Looking back to all your vlogs in the past years, who knew you were going through so much? Oh praise the Lord for you, for your life. Let's continue living for the One Who died and rose again for us 🥺

[@karensanjuan6282]

Thank you po for this ❤️ I also had 2 failed pregnancies ngayong pandemic, the last one was just few weeks ago, in fact. and it's truly hard to just move forward. and wow, how some people would just simply say "ok lang yan, buhay ka, try lang ulit" that really offended me in so many ways. Only God is keeping me whole right now. If not for Him and my husband's support, I think hirap na hirap ako ngayon. It's an answered prayer to hear from someone like you, who has gone through almost the same situation. Lalo na it's not very normal na napagusapan yung mga ganito dito sa Pinas. ❤️🙏 Thank you for sharing a piece of your life with us. Typing this down with a hopeful heart. ♥️ God bless your family.

[@mpena827]

Thank you for this episode. I feel like you were speaking to me. I went through almost the exact same thing you went through. I went through this ordeal for I think 8 years and I’m not even sure if I’m already over it. But after hearing you and everything you said, it just touched my heart and I’m now crying. Thank you again. God bless you and your family.

[@coconatz8048]

My husband proposed to me after he realized he needed to marry me after we attended a talk for singles you and Pastor Joe did in our church. And now i’ve been crying since the start of this video because I can relate in so many levels. Not celebrating the child inside you because of fear. Feeling alone or being just left behind by everybody who has moved on. Questioning. Not being able to process it all pala. Not being able to experience the grief or sadness. Thank you Ms Carla and Pastor Joe for always being God’s instrument, in our marriage and our lives. I can really feel God’s warmest hug tonight. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@sjrelucio782]

You always share the most vulnerable content. Oh how healing can flow from a broken person saved by the grace of God. Thank you!

[@lenidec]

Great insights, the most profound is how we see pain and immediately compare it to what others experienced or experiencing. The fact is, we can't compare. Our pain is our experience - not greater than or less than what others have. But just is. If we see it as is then that's when the real compassion of God is experienced within ourselves.

[@jeffthiecardino]

Didn't thought I'll be needing this message. But while watching it, I realize I am in the same situation of just keeping myself live through the pain that I've been through for the past years. I like the idea of God wants us to be at peace with ourselves. It's been years now that I kept breaking up with God, running from Him, but He just keeps showing me and telling me that kahit na ilang beses kang lumayo, tumakbo, magtago or i let go Siya. He will still stay and hold you tight. Thank You for this. It's my first time watching your vlogs. Supporting you all the way.

[@acvergara6937]

Such a powerful testimony. Thank you for sharing this. It really means a lot for me to hear this. It was like God was reaching out to me. Thank you. My heart is full.

[@ciaraerika5670]

"You've been through a lot." Someone also said these very words to me early last year and like you I didn't really grasped the weight of my battles and its toll on my mind and heart until that person uttered those words to me. It's affirming of what I went through and yet also a comforting thought that someone understands. I watched the whole vlog and resonated so deeply with everything you said Ms. Carla. Thank you for the courage and openness to share such vulnerable moments of your life. You are a blessing! ♥️

[@hannahmaepasaquian3392]

Thank you ma'am Rica and Pastor Joe 😭🙏🤍. Just what i needed the most. Been through mental health issues also and i too had suicidal thoughts. That kind of feeling na " just-surviving-the-day" is enough for you to keep going. But our Father is a gracious God, His mercy is new every morning. Your experience was a testament that God is powerful, and when He did healing to you, He can do it also to everyone else that are experiencing mental health problems. Ma'am Rica you're a strong woman of God. I believe He gave this to you as an instrumental woman of wisdom who see things through Him and can able to use your platform in a better way and share His abounding grace and love. God bless you and your family. 💕💕💕

[@RicaPeralejoBonifacio]

Salamat sa blessing 😭💕❤️‍🩹

[@gracetuyay6485]

Praise God for this content! This is a revelation from the Lord, just like Ms. Carla I will start now to let God move and have hope in Him fully because He is the source of peace. Hallelujah!

[@nicolletteriatangon2459]

Thank you! I cried during the last part where you said we just really need people who stays kasi if they try to tell us theyll leave us, we'll be telling them to go ahead. that's how i deal with things most of the time. im just glad there are still people who stick around and am grateful for them.

[@ItsMeChello]

during my depression it is only god i can hold on since nobody seems to understand. now i recovered and i now realize it is really all abt him.

[@nniinnss]

Thank you...I just came from a season of change and the lord wanted me to admit na ang hirap. He taught me that there is beauty in admission that life, my situation is so difficult. I guess unconsciously, my hard was becoming hardened by pride. It also amazes me kasi its also in the same season that the lord also revealed to me that I dont know how it is to have a father. Hindi pala ako nagiisa. I am still clueless how it is to be fathered. I am longing for it, and longing for the same thing for my daughter because I am a single mom. I'm just crying - and its so humbling... I feel like the lord, through your vlog, just assured me that kahit na its all up to Him, He will not let go because He loves me. Kahit di ko na maintindihan minsan kung bakit pa rin nya ako mahal.❤

[@RonaStaMaria]

Watching this was cathartic. I cried a good one. I also let my husband watch it with me because most of the things you said were exactly what I wanted to tell him. Thank you for sharing your journey and letting who are going through the same phase know that we are not alone and that there is always hope.

[@SheenaFortuneDorion]

Hey Joe and Rica! Thank you for sharing and being open about your journey. Can’t wait to listen to your podcast on Spotify about this topic.

[@Hezek123]

I cried! This is such a brave act of sharing.

[@febeilao]

Thank you both for being vulnerable and reminding me that God is my safe space. He is my safe space alone. I've been struggling to "keep it all together" but I can be weak in front of Him, I can be imperfect, I can be just a child. Thank you because I am sure God used this video to remind me na He's just there. He's never left. And for that, I glorify You Jesus.

[@apriljoyibanez816]

While watching this, I felt the Lord. God is so Good to your family and to all of us. By this, may God be Praised. 🙏❤️

[@glendamacalalad4510]

Only you Rica and your husband, can let me stay this long watching vids, here in KZbin. I've also had a LOT, but survived, only because of GOD, my faith in him. Pastor's gesture towards you Rica makes me cry 😭. Tears of joy, happiness that you have Pastor. You two are so blessed.

[@joycesantiago9434]

Cried all through out the vlog. I had the same thoughts and didn't know how to continue living. Still struggling with guilt and shame from time to time but I'm working on my healing and I know God is helping me. I just want to thank you for sharing your story, Ms. Carla. Para akong nakahanap ng kakampi through your story. It's a reminder na I'm not alone in this battle. Thank you!

[@msflavi5986]

Your testimony since day 1 has made a great impact in my life when I finally decided to surrender and got baptize…being a Christian is still a struggle and your testimony again gave me hope…thank you so much ❤️

[@IelleFaith]

'Di ko alam kung tamang desisyon bang panoorin ko 'to before ako mag-aral for a quiz later bc this surely brought me to tears! huhu thank you for this, Ms. Rica and Ptr. Joe!

[@tonyaverilla6327]

Wtchng frm Riyadh KSA💓gdblsss

[@Danibelle7]

Praise God for you, Ms Rica and Pastor Joey. So much encouragement with this video alone. Your lives are a great blessing. Praise God for your family

[@filmwithjudy]

can’t wait for the podcast! got teary eyed the whole vid. Thankyou for sharing!

[@christinaberena]

Thank you Rica for reminding us that our Father loves us. So inspiring.💛

[@lassieskucina1741]

I am always inspired as usual whenever you two discuss matters like this,so deep and honest, keep it up, keep on inspiring people 💕💕💕

[@JJ-zh9kk]

Thank you for this. I always go back to Job whenever i feel like a loser…

[@jessielyjuachon2624]

THANK YOU. SO MUCH. You don’t know how much this resonates with me. A lot of what you said here, I could have said myself. It’s amazing how God can reassure people of His love through other people’s stories.

[@annadaniels5840]

I like how Pastor Joe just sit there and listen to whatever Ms. Carla says. Sometimes the best comfort we can give is just be there and make people feel that we hear them.

[@joannareyes0829]

Thank you so much for sharing, Ms. Rica. I’m currently experiencing “crazy” moments and this vlog is really timely for me. Cried the entire vid and can relate sa “fatherhood pa rin?” 2021 na and still fatherhood pa rin. 😭😭😭

[@jhonzie]

I came to the same point of my life like yours Ms. Rica.. Anxiety, depression, trauma, etc.. Thank you to my spiritual friends and family who helped me in my darkest moment and overcome it. All the most, thank God for your grace and mercy ❤🙏❤

[@meadowdez6302]

Wonderful vlog! God is gracious & He's more than enough. His grace is sufficient 🧡

[@vivianracines2576]

Thank you for sharing this topic. I cried and realized so many things. God is so big and always good, He is the only one who can help us in whatever battles we are facing into, inside and outside battles..

[@YssaMD]

Oh my gosh, im still at 9-10mins of this video. What you said hit me hard, because that was similar to what I prayed for last night. I surrender and accept that that's how my life and myself is at the moment and I just ask God for me to be able to totally and sincerely accept to live with it and be happy with it. For me to no longer ask for something I've been longing for years that just simply won't happen. It gives me peace having been able to say it out loud in my prayer.

[@pamestoque3842]

This is by far the best video you’ve shared ate rica. Thank God for He is your God. This video came at the right time. God bless po.

[@patriciadelatorre2266]

Thank you, Miss Rica. We lost our Dad just a few weeks ago. And I don’t really know if im healing from the pain. I am a Christian and I never doubted God and question His will, plans and promises. But with what happened to my Dad, it sometimes gets the best of me and I tend to question, why. Why of all it’s him who was taken. He was still at 69, strong but Covid won him over. I don’t know and don’t want to believe that I am mentally broken. People around me are telling me to move on, to stop crying. Sometimes, i get too embarassed when I feel like crying. I don’t know.

[@meilenmartin3006]

Sobrang timely po ang pagshare nyo nito. Bawat salita na binibitawan nyo po ay parang merong something inside of me na nalalabas at nadideal at di ko mapigilan ang pag iyak na parang nakikita ko yung totoo kung sitwasyon na ito nga pala ako. 😭😭😭😭 Maraming salamat po sa pagshare ng journey nyo na ito. Nakikita ko na kung paano kumilos si LORD sa buhay nyo para maheal kayo at maovercome lahat alam ko at may hope ako na kaya din yun gawin ni LORD yun sa akin. GOD BLESS po sa family nyo!🙏🏼🥺❤

[@pinaytunay]

i wonder what your husband's thoughts and reflections on what you went through and what crucial role he played in that particular part of your journey...

[@aimeetangonan6059]

Thanks Ms. Carla for that “Father relationship” I came to realize that I have also many of those moments, requesting God of something pero hindi napagbigyan, like watching in my very eyes my brother drowning and asking God to let Him live, but it’s a no, he died; that I get to stay to a place where I love to be, but God saying no, and calling me to another place I know that’s out of my comfort zone, that I get healed of a disease I am suffering from but end up getting operated, thank you! I kept crying,, God’s no, is not a denial, Tama, Kakampi pa din natin Siya, at the end of the day He’s our Father. Keep inspiring Ms. Carla and Ptr. Joe ☺️ Glory to God!

[@teru2751]

I'm crying. I'm happy you are okay now Ms. Rica. Thankful to Ms. Ida (if i heard her name right) for listening to you. One of my thank you Jesus also is how personal He is in dealing with our hearts. God bless you Ma'am.

[@LorenNand]

Be still and know that GOD is there. 🙏🙏🙏

[@annago8301]

Ms. Rica you have helped me alot get through my anxieties. Its never easy, but watching your vlogs help me to find ease and told myself i can get through this just like you did. You truly are an inspiration ❤️

[@diane4041]

Full of truths and inspo...Nobody really is so strong in a broken world with broken people... But the good thing is that God doesn't give as the world gives

[@gelainemarielle]

Been crying the entire vlog as I’m going through the same thing for months now. Thank you for the vulnerability, and courage to share this uncomfortable yet eye-opening season in your life. Thank you for letting God use your hurt to bless others. 🙏

[@shai6909]

Naiyak ako🥺😭 this is so beautiful! Grabe yung wisdom. Grabe yung testimony! So relevant. Speechless. Thank you for sharing this to the world. You both showed the two sides of the same coin. So helpful and looking forward sa full podcast nito🙏😍 God bless you both Miss Rica and Pastor! 😍

[@bevsylarde6740]

Spotted. 👀

[@shai6909]

@@bevsylarde6740 😍😍😍

[@mercyponteres-racines121]

Thanks for sharing! God really has His own unique way of touching our hearts. Salamat at naging instrument Nia po kayong dalawa. Hugs!

[@yanes.pebenito7582]

1) "Staying by their side, not necessarily offering solutions, is already a big thing." 2) Don't lie about how difficult they are, but rather, assure them that YOU WILL STAY WITH THEM EVEN WHEN THEY ARE DIFFICULT. 3) "When you can't hope, I will hope for you." :-)

[@SuperKidong]

THHHHANK YOU for doing this, Team Bonifacio... We can actually relate much. God bless you as HE heals us all continually... in JESUS NAME 🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️♥️👊👊👊

[@BekiMon]

Love you Carla, how I wish we could have talked longer when we were working together... I was going through depression then, wala ako mapagkwentuhan nun....

[@RicaPeralejoBonifacio]

Miss you. Talk to you soon.

[@anywayanyhow]

Thank you for sharing this, Ate! I kept crying while watching because i also came to that point that I wake up in the morning asking why am I still alive and I go to sleep at night asking why should I wake up in the morning. I have lost my will to live. I also came to that point when I wanted to get sick and die because there is nothing left for me to live for. But just like you, I have to perform because I don't have a choice. I even came to a point that I question my sanity. My sister offered me to get counseling. But I was in a denial stage and that I kept telling myself that I can put myself together. I realized I have a lot of unsolved baggages in heart, since childhood. I am thankful that I have a husband who quietly and patiently listens to me when bouts of depression happen. Sometimes I feel guilty of having these many baggages that I carried to my marriage. But I never thought I had them until recently, and my husband is patiently unloading it with me while praying for me and reminding me of God's goodness.

[@matutoKaNaNga]

Thank you! This definitely opens a long thread of discussion. I resonate with most of the things Carla shared. I’m reminded of how grateful I am for those who stayed even when I pushed everyone away. Of course above them all was God, who received most of my anger. God can take us, in all our brokenness talaga grabe! He will always have the final say in our relationship with Him. When I was depressed and battling my suicidal thoughts, I could not pray, but I would only sing “Jesus loves me this I know…for the Bible tells me so…”. Kids Church is so important! Also, having people pray for you when you can’t, counts!

[@redeemedbygod620]

First few minutes into the video, my heart is already crying (trying to hold back my tears while watching) but I could just relate. It may not be the exact experience you experienced. But the words you said were the words I thought. Ilang beses akong nag-pause ng video para pigilan yung iyak kasi sobrang tagos. Hindi naman po kayo nagpipreach but your story just resonates with what I'm going through. Really. Makes sense pa because I'm undergoing a counseling training (yung ako yung magka-counsel) Pero paano nga ako magka-counsel ng iba kung ako din mismo, need ko ng counseling and healing. God just impressed to me na I have to go through this because others are going through it too. And just like how you shared your story and how you overcame it, it gives so much hope to others. So in this season, I'm just letting God break and mold me like the clay in the potter's hands. May kailangan ayusin, may kailangan tapyasin, may kailangan basagin para maging vessel na magagamit ng Diyos. So thank you po for letting God use you. Malaking instrumento po kayo na ginagamit ni Lord in this generation. God bless po.

[@RicaPeralejoBonifacio]

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 gusto ko kayong yakapin lahat.

[@sarahbernadit8661]

This made me cry so much. 😢 Thank you Ms. Rica for sharing this. How I would want to hug you and thank you, you are such an inspiration. Following you and pastor Joe. God bless you Ms. Rica.

[@kecyt6066]

This is your most beautiful sharing and probably one of the best I’ve listened to on YT. I can totally relate and I really find myself in the same feeling of assuming bad things to happen all the time, blaming myself for bad things that happened to others. Sometimes I just tell myself I’m mentally impaired, but I thank the Lord for my spouse who always listens and has been there for me even though my situation is not quite understandable. I try to remove the lies and replace my thoughts with whatever is true, whatever is good, whatever is lovely..etc. Also to accept that everyone is broken and that includes me and that the Lord is not yet finished with His work in me and in the people I love.

[@farji8028]

Exactly what I am feeling when you said, when youre losing the original mind that you had... same thoughts about giving up on God... But He lead me through your vlog . Thank you Rica for sharing your story.

[@kaycabuyoc4724]

Grabe lang super ganito din pinagdaanan ko, yung mga triggers.. 3yrs din. Pati yung pakiramdam, at counseling part. Super relate thanks carla and joe. :) mas pinakita nyo lang yung realityyy. Na kayo din pala may pinagdadaanan.

[@jeanetteacosta6907]

Thank you Ms. Rica for sharing your testimony. It was an encouragement for me and I could relate much...A big thank you to God for using you and this medium to share how Faithful He is to all of us..

[@beeswaxwrapelyuph]

This is my first time to comment in a vlog.. and as I type this, I'm not yet finish watching it... Kasi intro plang ni Ms. Carla I started to cry in a pigil way... Even if I'm not yet done watching this meaningful vlog,.. it really reminds me that apart from God.. God will really provide us and send those family, friends and even strangers to us.. to walk with our journey no matter how high and low our season is.. ( and nakayanan parin nila tayong samahan it's because God gives them a strength parin to be with us) How great is our God 🙌❤️

[@labrama]

Hi Ms Rica, npanaginipan kita and Pastor Joe dati. I think it was 2 yrs ago. May apoy po kayo pinapatay pero ndi mamatay. I thot it was a random dream pro you just said you have experienced rapid fire trauma. Now it makes sense. Hope ur ok. God bless

[@alicia357_]

I resonate with this so much. Thank you, Ms. Rica. "Even if you will let Me go, I will NOT let you go."

[@juliadomingo6694]

Andami kong pinagdaanan sa video lang na 'to. Andami kong iyak. 🥺🤍 The iyak therapy we never thought we needed.

[@frennaong]

Thank you for this, Ms Rica! Indeed Mental Health is not something that we should take lightly. Naiiyak ako kasi sobrang on point po ng lahat 😭

[@juleszavalla3799]

Thank you for allowing us to know that we’re not the only one who’s been experiencing some battles that even in ourselves we couldn’t understand. Thank you for sharing ms. Rica🙏🏻

[@Weng0217]

This resonates with me a lot. Having one blow after another to feeling having no assurance from God, to being a parent, a wife, the challenges in marriage and in life in general. Thank you Rica and Ptr Jo, may you continue to be the hands and feet of Jesus in facilitating His healing to a very wounded world. Salamat sa honesty niyo. We need more like this, not just from you, but on a level that these kind of things need to be talked about openly with no stigma.

[@airenemarfa]

While watching this video it felt that God is speaking to me, telling me how He loves me so much despite of everything. I cried knowing that even if we are Christians we couldn't deny the fact that we have to face this struggle of our mental health everyday. They were days that you felt so unloved, and devalued which the people around you are clueless about it. Then you look up, and asking God for mercy and help cause it feels people are leaving you behind. I wrestle against depression for more than 5 years now, and my mind is unstable especially that if I face circumstances that could trigger it. This video reminds me to embrace each season and remain grateful for every trials that I have been through. Thank you for this and may the good Lord will continue to bless your family.

[@marieglomr]

I often asked God also if kakayanin ba ako ng mga tao sa paligid ko in my worst moments, as you go through the process, and surely He is faithful to have done so. I've never related to a vlog as this episode has been. Blessings to you Carla and family.

[@anthonycarloleona9220]

Authentic. Christ-edifying. Powerful. Thank you BONIs.

[@cherrymaeomas-as6109]

So blessed to hear this. I've been through a lot like you Ms Rica. Thank you for sharing your story of hope.God bless❤

[@iamneldagonzales1986]

Same here , been through the same feelings and I never realized that it is a war inside us that needs to be confronted. I had a lot of realizations watching your vlog. I was feeling you and at the same time i was feeling myself. I cried a lot and it felt good too. Thank you for sharing ms. rica

[@ma.katrinafestin223]

Hi Ms Rica... Thank you for this vlog... Akala ko ako lang nakakaramdam ng ganyan... ❤️❤️❤️

[@clintonhughlagdameo2210]

Yup. Cried too. Spot on about venting to God. That's I guess what makes it right: "... TO God" not "away from God." Usually, He answers quite sooner than expected. And when He does, like Job, it's jaw-dropping... even mic-dropping 🎤 ("... I lay my hand on my mouth." Job 40:4), in a heart-changing way. All of a sudden a flood of understanding rushes in, and though it feels torrential, there's peace & rest -- willing surrender. Sorry, that's how I experienced mine. Yours might vary. But God bless you both on your continuing walk. Rejoicing with you more as you took us "behind the healing;" appreciate this share. 🙏🙏☝☝♥️♥️

[@Teaching2012]

Crying while I was watching this. OUR GOD STAYS THE SAME in the midst of our troubles. HE WILL NOT LEAVE US NOR FORSAKE US.

[@ambassadoroffaith1018]

What you experience I experience I have real encounter with God he said to me in my dream Show up He said you have still Big Job to me you are not alone

[@mrslhiszlumauig9644]

I Need someone to talk..😥 i will watch this ,to remind me..I Like your Saying about Mental health and God Is fixing Us..become a Whole Person..🙏

[@coconatz8048]

My husband proposed to me after he realized he needed to marry me after we attended a talk for singles you and Pastor Joe did in our church. And now i’ve been crying since the start of this video because I can relate in so many levels. Not celebrating the child inside you because of fear. Feeling alone or being just left behind by everybody who has moved on. Questioning. Not being able to process it all pala. Not being able to experience the grief or sadness. Thank you Ms Carla and Pastor Joe for always being God’s instrument, in our marriage and our lives. I can really feel God’s warmest hug tonight. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@cevinine]

This touched my heart and all its corners! So blessed by this! Thank you and waiting for the longer version 😊

[@rhiobriones9309]

this is worth watching for.. It will really help alot to those battling for mental health.. Thanks for being an inspiration Ms.Rica.. ❤️❤️❤️

[@janiceg.catalig9133]

Continuation.... Actually I've been through a lot because it has physical manifestations. Because of severe trauma and exhaustion, I was diagnosed suffering from Urinary Tract Infection and Acid related Disease and I have gone through series of medical checkups and medications. I just had my fourth check up.