Richard Nixon - "I'm not a crook"

November 17, 1973

[@utopiaa_1775]

i’m-i’m-i’m-i’m-i’m i’m not a crook-crook

[@this.iszoha_]

THIEVING, STEALING, TAKING WHAT'S NOT YOURS- TAKING WHAT'S NOT YOURS- TAKING WHAT'S NOT YOURS :3

[@kadenandthespiderok663]

TAKING WHATS NOT YOURS

[@valorreii]

that’s the only reason I’m here ngl

[@CiannasTravelDiaries]

@@kadenandthespiderok663I don’t really know if she cares or not, all I know is she left a lot of stuff in my apartment. She’s never getting back.

[@BlueDolphinAnimates]

Im-im-im-im-im not a- not a crook

[@charis6438]

thieving, stealing, taking what’s not yours 🗣️🗣️

[@goombamoomba]

i-i-i-i-i i'm not a crook

[@shaner_manerzz6644]

REAL

[@veronicablack2533]

she's never getting back‼️‼️🗣️🗣️

[@Dreaming_404]

And as the smell on my pillow fades ⁉️⁉️

[@strangefella27]

Her cigarettes might stay 🗣️🔥🔥🔥

[@oktusprime3637]

This man is so easy to read. Nixon: I'm not a book.

[@ps4nowwoot972]

😂😂

[@theorixlux2605]

This man is so easy to hire in the kitchen Nixon: I'm not a cook

[@theorixlux2605]

This man is so easy to spot in star wars Nixon: I'm not an ewok

[@theorixlux2605]

This man is so easy to place in a chicken coop Nixon: I'm not a cock

[@theorixlux2605]

This man is so easy to moore a boat to Nixon: I'm not a dock

[@TheWorldsStage]

I just can't believe this was the first and last time a politician had ever lied to the public. Such a shameful moment

[@InsideOutAnus]

underrated comment

[@-James-A]

You, my friend, are a legend! Haha

[@pineconesnowstorm]

Well, at least he was held somewhat accountable for his actions. Hopefully we can continue that path.

[@jonahh2829]

​@pineconesnowstorm not really, the following administration pardoned him. Plus if anyone else did what he did they would be charged with treason.

[@brandoncortezemmanuel357]

@@pineconesnowstormHopefully we can get the current president to be truthful for once.

[@77mxb1]

“Mr. President, are you scared of crocodiles?” “I am not Captain Hook”

[@matthewhedrichjr.5445]

Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!

[@bluephish1330]

Makes it even better that this was at Walt Disney World

[@menospeakwelsh]

That would certainly explain his "yer" at the end.

[@MrFleshyMan]

"I'm a bit hungry." " I'm not a cook. "

[@kirbyyourenthusiasm]

Crookodile

[@Caine61]

"Hey Nixon are you able to move in a straight line on a chessboard?" "I am not a rook."

[@Caine61]

***** A weapon to surpass metal gear...

[@tavymcsavy]

"Hey Nixon why don't you volunteer at the local library?" "I am not a book"

[@TonyDiaz.]

Hey Nixon, will you be developing a virus that infects vocal cords? I'm not a Skull... Whooooooo?!

[@TStamp-lw4ku]

Lord Ignis Destroyer of Thots I do t know what a rook is but it still gave me a good laugh

[@anastasia2657]

What did Nixon do? He lied to the American peo[le about knowing about the burglary AFTER the fact of the burglary. It has been proven that he did not know about the burglary before it happened, or while it was happening. How many Presidents do you know who lied to the American people. Any? "Your boys will not fight in foreign wars." (FDR while provoking the Japanese to attack). . "Read mylips. No new taxes." (Bush). "Listen to me. I never had sex with that woman.(he repeated this lie under oath in a legal proceeding) (Clinton)' "I'll never lie to ya" (Carter); Ford's many lies are recorded here: www.thecrimson.com/article/1976/10/30/the-pathetic-lie-of-jerry-ford/, "They have weapons of mass destruction" (Bush) (killing how many American servicemen? We don't know because they won't tell us). None of these people got impeached.

[@S1lenttruth]

"I-I-I-Im Not a- not a crook"

[@CaymenEditz]

THIEVING STEALING TAKING WHATS NOT YOURS

[@chopparowel6215]

Thevin stealing taking what's not yours taking what's not your that's thevin taking what's not your

[@zombiefuvker]

​@@chopparowel6215I DONT REALLY KNOW IF SHE KNOWS OR NOT

[@girlleavemealone--]

​@@zombiefuvker BUT I LEFT SOME STUFF IN HER JEWELRY BOX

[@zombiefuvker]

@@girlleavemealone-- AND SHES WEARING OUT MY RINGS

[@kin-ra0626]

tv girl was so random for using this😭

[@gummieowo]

fr

[@lorietherizzler]

well not rlly 😭 The song is litch called Taking What's Not Yours and "I'm not a crook" somehow fit

[@goober_toober909]

TV girl sucks

[@lorietherizzler]

@@goober_toober909 im starting to get the conclusion that you don't like TV Girl

[@kin-ra0626]

@@goober_toober909 wrap it up..

[@clyde5450]

“Mr. President, can you make me some eggs and bacon?” “I am not a cook”

[@adog3129]

I was about to make that one

[@scoobydoo5661]

underrated comment

[@misaelarvizu9616]

Yo Mr.nixon we gotta make more meth yo

[@saulgoodmanKAZAKH]

Bro how'd this get 1,5K likes

[@scoobydoo5661]

@@saulgoodmanKAZAKH because it's fucking Hilarious

[@death4metal201]

Greatest speech ever along with "I did not have sexual relations with that woman"

[@RubbishKunce]

Haah, yeah. *Weapons of Mass Destruction*

[@scoutman]

Both democrats

[@antonimartinez9961]

​@v Trexler so what? Nixon's ideals do not align with the modern democratic party. He'd be a republican today.

[@wmadd7181]

​@@scoutman lmao what

[@69420dicks]

@@scoutman bro what? bill clinton was a democrat, and nixon was FAR, FAR from being one.

[@thegreenerly]

"I am not a crook." "I- I- I- I- I- I'm not a crook- crook."

[@elsky_els]

THIEVING‼️‼️‼️ STEALING‼️‼️‼️ TAKING WHAT'S NOT YOURS‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️

[@Madzillahx]

WE'RE TAKING WHAT'S NOT OURS BACK WITH THIS ONE 🗣💯🙏🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@matthewposton3243]

“Mr President, will you turn over a new leaf?” “I am not a book”

[@carter87.86]

Wouldn't the person turning over a new leaf be a person, and not a book, since the book is what you are turning, do better next time cmon this isn't amateur hour

[@danielhaslam5179]

@@carter87.86 All 323 people who were in the same room laughing at that joke have now left in silence.

[@carter87.86]

@@danielhaslam5179 damn thats crazy

[@tremendousyeet3467]

😂👈😂👏😂👈😂👏😂 i don't know what the hell is up with the three comments above me. I'll just set this thread back on track and give this golden joke the 😂 it deserves.

[@CaliJose209]

@@danielhaslam5179 I came back in laughing 😂

[@MattExzy]

I never noticed how accurate The Simpsons and Futurama actually nailed Nixon's mannerisms.

[@ricky18redblack31]

Arroooo

[@arseface2k934]

that jowel movement when he says "I've earned" is incredible

[@Hithere-uz6wd]

Futurama depicted him as a terrible president, was he really that bad?

[@arseface2k934]

@@Hithere-uz6wd he's widely regarded as one of the worst, but he has plenty of supporters too. his corruption and heel-dragging on vietnam are what nixon are remembered by, overshadowing some of the better things he did like founding the EPA or building relations with China. his longest lasting legacy is probably his war on drugs, which is still in place and after 50 years is proven ineffective to say the least.

[@aquamidideluxe5079]

Matt Groening is old enough to remember Nixon and hate him accordingly

[@thaneofwhiterun3562]

"I am not a cook, I've ordered every meal I've eaten."

[@Pboros-mz3rc]

Nixon is not a crook they framed him I love Nixon and trust him he was a honest caring president not like trump

[@leandoershawty1996]

“You know where to find me, and I know where to look.”

[@lorietherizzler]

thievin, stealin' taking what's not yours🗣️🗣️

[@goober_toober909]

TV GIRL SUCKS

[@lorietherizzler]

@@goober_toober909 Ok

[@leandoershawty1996]

@@goober_toober909 did I ask tho?

[@cloverp]

@@goober_toober909listen i dont like tv girl either but can you shut up omg 😭

[@9yearolduserfriendly138]

"Sounds like someone breaking in" - Nixon being attacked by the undead in the Pentagon.

[@ion_power1238]

Finally someone caring to reference actual relevant quotes

[@citywick9368]

''just the storm dick...sit down''

[@willowandluka5302]

“Do not pray for easy lives, gentleman. Pray to be stronger men.” JFK

[@cheese9290]

And why is he here?! You lost!

[@grizscrumptious2868]

Good ol' Five.

[@nickitysplit1232]

Fun fact: This speech took place at Disney World.

[@andrewjun3835]

Wait. For rea

[@andrewjun3835]

Sorry typo. For real? In Disney land?

[@madebyshiny]

@@andrewjun3835 yep at Disney's Contemporary Resort in Florida

[@dakdak3331]

@@madebyshiny sure did

[@claytong2069]

Not fun

[@floris.927]

“I’m not a Cook. I’ve Burned everything I got.” Facts.

[@heyimgalaxy]

yk they should put this into a song

[@Mani-fd7tx]

ikr

[@shots-o-shorts7939]

"I'm not a crook 🗣🗣"

[@maxmeepmeep991]

0:26

[@Pboros-mz3rc]

I love how people are joking about this he was framed for god sakes and I would have him as president over trump any day

[@commentpolice4694]

“Mr President did you feel that earthquake?” “I am not ashook”

[@jaredallen1950]

Best one yet!!!😂😂😂😂

[@smallfry7304]

underrated

[@miraclewolf2760]

Brilliant

[@zoomerjack5435]

Ironic since Nixon was from California

[@quasar960]

Mr president why did you burn the steaks President: I am not a cook!

[@thesupersaiyanginger132]

I like how nobody is bringing up that this was done at Walt Disney World

[@_DrMemes]

Bruh

[@linkfromzelda1002]

What?

[@dennisvelez9846]

This was at the Contemporary Resort’s ballroom at Walt Disney World, surprisingly enough

[@ally939]

I can’t believe I didn’t know that until now, and I’m so glad that I do know that now

[@splorgify]

Learning that, don’t we all want Mickey to pop in at the end and say “that’s all folks” as that’s looney tunes and he’s a silly mouse getting involved in politics.

[@_allyzinhofeiop]

"I'm not a crook." THAT'S THIEVIN'!, STEALIN', TAKING WHAT'S NOT YOURS!

[@aggelikii_]

EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING

[@goober_toober909]

TV girl =mid

[@ghost_of_7th_st.]

@@goober_toober909you= mid

[@_allyzinhofeiop]

@@goober_toober909 yes, and?

[@dumpsta-divrr365]

This man really dropped the "i did everything right and they indicted meeee" of his generation, gotta respect that

[@NexusKin]

At least when he did it, it came off as appearing somewhat more dignified, intelligent and sophisticated.

[@santividal9387]

Even corrupt politicians were more elegant and sophisticated back then. Now they're all like babys. Everyone trying to look cooler than the other...

[@MCO18]

Clinton: This burger tastes horrible. Nixon! Nixon: I am not a cook.

[@nelsonroscoe2225]

You just made my life.

[@Holmarn-]

explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Matt/lame-joke-alert.png

[@frannyzooey11]

un uh ?

[@jedihunter176]

Richard Nixon in the library: I am not a book.

[@MoronicAcid1]

***** Richard Nixon at Barnes & Noble: I am not a nook.

[@kevinrooney3351]

"I am not a crook by today's standards." Thanks, John Roberts.

[@L_back]

“Hey Nixon are you a talented writer?” “I didn’t write a book.”

[@supermario0527]

"Hey Nixon, can you understand what Chewbacca's saying?" "I am not a Wook."

[@ThiccNose]

.. E

[@leopardgeckoonsteroids7012]

@@ThiccNose ie*

[@Oliver-gd7uf]

@@leopardgeckoonsteroids7012 iee**

[@leopardgeckoonsteroids7012]

@@ThiccNose wooke? 😂🤦🏻‍♂️

[@ThiccNose]

@@leopardgeckoonsteroids7012 i wasn't trying to actually spell wookiee.

[@mitchellmilarck6600]

“Hey Nixon can you sear these clams for me?” “I am not a cook.”

[@liberator101]

Ahhahahahhahahahahaha, great one.

[@VeN0m88]

YAN CAN COOK , SO CAN YOU !

[@scottiep7216]

I bought every food ive eaten -Nixon

[@wattson451]

“You’re not the president either, DONKEY” - Gordon Ramsay

[@biodtox]

Seared clams old Nixon recipe

[@_robtherodent_]

"i-i-i-i-i'm, not a-not a crook-crook!" 🗣️🔥🔥‼️

[@stucq]

"Mr. President, will you move forwards or sideways in a straight line" "I'm not a rook"

[@DumboSanchez]

Clinton: Hey will you help me catch this fish? Nixon: I am not a hook.

[@BeardBeerCigar]

awesome

[@marcoAKAjoe]

Hahahaha gold

[@Trolleyatthestation]

Lol

[@potatobird52]

“Mr. President, I’m feeling kinda sad.” “I don’t give a fook.”

[@theuniverse1158]

Best one yet

[@amoral_minority]

This one's original, I like it

[@potatobird52]

@@amoral_minority thank you

[@ghostofgrozny47]

reminds me of Conor McGregor.

[@PingDoofus]

LMAO

[@Adorned-Gambit-44]

“Mr. President, did you know today is November 17 on the calendar” “I didn’t look . . .”

[@Rockbullet-su9go]

SUPREME COURT RULED HIM NOT A CROOK LET'S FUCKING GO!!!!!

[@ktheone6000]

TOTAL MILLHOUSE VICTORY

[@Pizza793]

“Mr president, are you invading the privacy of the American people?” “I am not facebook”

[@thenorthcarolinian6796]

Good one

[@heyahowareyou5971]

GOLD

[@Koreanbrosstidios]

this is gonna blow up

[@bresidentpoejiden8253]

Your privacy isn't being invaded when you agreed to the terms of service when signing up.

[@suxxbank132]

@@bresidentpoejiden8253 figures Biden would say that.

[@ethanturrano5599]

“Hey Nixon can you help me with this e-reader?” “I am not a nook”

[@nikzen9073]

Bruh idk what it means, but someone just liked my comment on the Shia video (where your pfp is from). It popped up on my notifications as I scrolled passed your comment o_O

[@danielmatthews12312]

this joke references ancient artifacts unheard of by most alive today

[@YugiMomo]

"well then can I flip through you after reading 2-4 paragraphs of text" "I am not a book, either"

[@neildegrassetysonwithaknif7124]

@@danielmatthews12312 bruuuhhhhhhhh I used to have a nook

[@ThePaperKhan]

Bruh

[@noahwain2308]

YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME

[@kaileylindsey3654]

AND I KNOW WHERE TO LOOK!!!!

[@Yeezieez]

I I I AM NOT A CROOK!!

[@razkrispies]

THIEVIN' STEALIN' TAKIN' WHAT'S NOT YOURS

[@memetea3491]

TAKING WHATS NOT YOURS

[@wahitsoctavia]

THATS THIEVIN STEALIN

[@Bludgeta9001]

Compared to modern day politicians, Nixon is a Saint

[@Yatagurusu]

No he isnt, he still directly sabotages vietnam and gets 60K americans killed and 2 million vietnamese

[@AJ-pc9gu]

tell that to indochina

[@VapeEscape]

He started inflation by inflating the price of gold like a balloon. The economy was stable from WW2 until he got in office. The price of gold was 35 an ounce for 30 years. We had a great economy until he ruined it, He is pure corruption. Put 35 from January 1971 in an inflation calculator and you get 270 not 2052.

[@lekevire]

tell that to sinoindia

[@Rip-Tyro]

Tell that to Bangladesh

[@Trifecta_Sports]

“Mr. President are you into poetry?” “I can’t come up with a rhyme”

[@Damsel_In_Distress_528]

.. at this time"*

[@Al-hb6uj]

Oh noooo

[@ciaotiziocaius4899]

@@Damsel_In_Distress_528 funniest

[@adrianafamilymember6427]

@@Damsel_In_Distress_528 Ey, ... *FOOK* U then .... That is what a treacherous crook or -A FOOK'IN DOOKIE- would do/say

[@Damsel_In_Distress_528]

@@adrianafamilymember6427 "Fook" Rhymes with "Book." 【Read this in an overly eccentric/ emotional jester like voice】 Funny, would you take a look, it seems I just snook another Rhyme from mine neverending book of Rhymes.. in which I conveniently have the time... to commit such a crime as absurd as telling Rhymes, but please.. don't be mistook and judge me by how I may look... For I promise you that I Am Not A Crook Well... I suppose there was a time.. YES, a time where I didn't always Rhyme., and once upon this time I may have stole a book or two from one of my own crew.. due too a bet I lost over a challenge to cook the greatest *FONDUE!!!!....* Though my fondue was not sublime, I had to deal with a sue for the books I stole *"From Who?, They Were Never Even Used!"* I never meant to commit a crime, I just wanted to have some words to read for that is how I loved to spend mine downtime. But it seems now I've gotten myself stuck into a bit of a lime that I will have to burden until the end of time, but I say.. I'm am not a Crook... I'm just ought but a helpless poet with the dream to be your cook if you'd only ring that bell for me to hear that chime... the closest sound to complete my neverending Rhymes.

[@yonkotres]

He sounds nothing like he does in the 3000s

[@misseli922]

Tres Waddell 0:31 sounded a lot like he does in futurama xD

[@clowntrooper61]

IKR. He doesn't sound anything like the one from black ops zombies either. It was such a surprise to hear his real voice

[@krombopulousmichael8292]

sick'em Agnew!

[@Azurepeahen]

they exaggerate him

[@TheDeagster877]

Dank Crusade AROOO

[@Mike--Oxmall]

"Mr President can tou tell us about your memoirs?" "I never wrote a book"

[@richardnixon2608]

Aroo.

[@nesnerd8361]

Nixon I love u!!! I legit have a picture of u on my door!

[@nesnerd8361]

Hurray hurray what will Nixon say today

[@cliffrayner3013]

Dude you watch KZbin on the afterlife? How Washington doing?

[@Jaydog11]

It just a storm Dick sit down

[@guzzledgumps2322]

Imnotacrook. Imnotacrook. Imnotacrook. Imnotacrook. IMNOTACROOK!

[@laughslapproductions4690]

“Hey Nixon, can we go swimming now?” “I am not a Brook.”

[@genzconservative7230]

Brook?

[@VinceVegas6]

"Hey Nixon, wanna' make a pasta? " "I am not a Cook"

[@adamfirst3772]

lets go fishing... Im not a Hook!!

[@laughslapproductions4690]

@@genzconservative7230 a body of water sorta like a stream

[@8xRedMonkeyx8]

dumb

[@LateNightHalo]

Decades later we have trump’s “I’m an innocent man! The most innocent man that ever was!”

[@KyleShiflet13666]

Trump is just Nixon 2.0

[@julianbufarull7602]

Trump is like Nixon if he never read a book.

[@-James-A]

So you retards are gonna ignore virtually every other corrupt/murderous president ever because Pedowood say Trump bad? They're all crooks and war mongers.

[@JohnGardnerAlhadis]

"i dID eVeRyTHiNg rIgHt aNd tHeY iNdIcTeD mE"

[@PrivateerJimmy]

​@@julianbufarull7602wow😂

[@warpingtoaster7972]

Hank: "Walter Hartwell White you are under arrest" Walter White: "I am not a cook."

[@justinian-the-great]

'I did not had crook relations with that woman, Mrs. Watergate!"

[@Jenkowelten]

Thanks for the underated comment, Justinian the great

[@capybara9069]

Underrated comment

[@g.w.f.212]

lol it’s a 2 in 1 special

[@Colinop]

exactly, they should've read. his. lips

[@chernovbrichtofen4767]

Richard Clinton

[@felphero]

This phrase has the same effect as "Hey, DON'T think of a red apple"

[@Batben01]

"Mr. President, what is it with your weird fascination with Ketchup and Cottage Cheese?" "I'm not a cook"

[@frank___]

"I'm not a crook." The crook said calmly.

[@TheStopShort]

“RICHARD! DID YA PUT YER NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE RICHARD?!”

[@reneauvray3440]

Where is the part he said, "I screwed everything up.?"

[@ash_11117]

Watergate wasn’t his fault, the only bad thing he did was trying to cover it up.

[@Pyxlean]

​@@ash_11117 He was likely aware of the Watergate break-in. Why else would he try to cover it up?

[@ash_11117]

@@Pyxlean to keep his associates from getting in trouble

[@joyduh]

“Mr. President, can I draw something on you?” “I am not a sketchbook”

[@jeffdjmeren4913]

nice

[@notpingu707]

Lol

[@hobomike6935]

“I’ve… drawn everything I’m not.”

[@definitelynotthequestion5359]

He said that joke so convincingly. True comedian.

[@jusweard]

"Hey could you put down some shield plates for the team" "i am not rook"

[@couldbeanybody2508]

"Hey Mr. Nixon can you fend off multiple armies of German mechanized forces in a urban-desert terrain?" "I am not Tobruk."

[@EliGutie]

Underrated comment 10/10

[@Balmung115]

I laughed way too hard at this. Thank you!

[@balkanmapping9934]

You mean one Italo-German army that had only 4 mobile divisions, with the rest being pure foot infantry.

[@johnpaulabocad6941]

@@balkanmapping9934 They have a Rommel

[@A-G-A-G]

Damn that’s a good one

[@A-G-A-G]

Nixon “I’m not a crook” Narrator: “he was definitely a crook”

[@reillymcwriting]

“He was.” And now the story of the family who lost everything, and the son who has to bring them back together.

[@smokingthereefer92]

Nixon: "I am not a crook" Morgan Freeman: And as the powers came to be,Mr Nixon or Dick as I call him,was indeed a crook!

[@paulblartmemecop7218]

Title card: “He was definitely a crook.”

[@chiefbeef6251]

I read that in a Morgan Freeman voice

[@smileysatanson3404]

''im not a crook'' thats exactly what a crook would say

[@Miamisbestalltimeshooterrayray]

One of the greatest presidents we’ve ever seen

[@OPquaver]

“Mr president do you mind if I hang my jacket on you?” “I am not a hook”

[@williamgregory1848]

Nixon: “Well I’m not a crook.” My grandfather: “You lying bastard!”

[@jackkennedy70]

Lets Go Brandon

[@AndrewDixon69]

Let's Go TRUMP!

[@KyleShiflet13666]

@@jackkennedy70 trump is just Nixon 2.0

[@jackkennedy70]

@@KyleShiflet13666 Really, I don't recall Nixon ever putting America 1st or creating jobs for people so they can pay their mortgages and keep food on the table like what Trump did. Now Joe Biden he's the devil

[@diegobarbosa7529]

@@KyleShiflet13666 aside from watergate Nixon was one of the most accomplished presidents you guys had so that would be a compliment knowing that basically everyone in politics is corrupt.

[@369damnimfine5]

"Mr. President, why is it so hard to read your true intentions? "I am not a book!"

[@GuitarLuv91]

"Mr. President, whats your cross dressing persona?" "The name is Brooke"

[@acoop7959]

Richard Nixon: I am not a crook. Narrator: He was, in fact, a crook.

[@lentisdophlu5357]

Adam Coop Actually, he wasn’t. He did some really bad stuff but he never stole money.

[@-actualgoodcontent-4795]

@@lentisdophlu5357 so you have to steal money in order to be considered a crook???

[@lentisdophlu5357]

@@-actualgoodcontent-4795 Yes, Nixon wasn’t a crook. He was, however, a criminal.

[@thatguythatstoleyourlunch3189]

@@lentisdophlu5357 they’re synonyms though

[@lentisdophlu5357]

@@thatguythatstoleyourlunch3189 They’re not really.

[@tl3139]

"I'm not a crook" = "This is a witch hunt."

[@ThomasWilliams89]

ah, so this is why the guy in Point Break says, "I'm not a crook" when he had the Nixon mask on.

[@Sarato]

"Hey Nixon, could you help Frodo with the One Ring?" "I am not a Took."

[@larchimage3914]

Nice

[@parker4914]

“Mr president, can I borrow some money?” “I am not a checkbook”

[@big_sea]

“Mr president, can you provide covering fire from the air?” “I’m not a chinook”

[@MadmanGoneMad2012]

"Can't find my checkbook. Hope you won't mind i pay you in change."

[@akayysworld]

Technically his isnt now due to the scotus ruling

[@recorecat]

ANYTHING ELSE IS LIKE GOING TO THE STORE, TAKING THE DISC, AND WALKING OUT THE DOOR‼ 🗣🗣🗣

[@Blauab]

It's amazing how he nods when saying "I'm not a crook", and then he shakes his head when saying "I've earnt everything I've got".

[@julianbufarull7602]

This is a fantastic comment. Body language experts would probably agree.

[@AC-fg4kg]

@@julianbufarull7602body language “experts” lol

[@julianbufarull7602]

@@AC-fg4kg such a thing exists. It's not entirely reliable but denying most humans share the expressive gestures that expose our inner feelings is ignorant. Maybe you're just afraid that you could be easily read?

[@SteambieGrimbley9110]

@@julianbufarull7602 idiot conspiracy theorists use it as a crutch when they have no actual evidence for whatever retarded point their trying to make

[@jeremiahsmith4235]

@@julianbufarull7602it doesn’t work like that

[@IAmNessie]

“Mr. President it says gullible on the ceiling.” “I will not look.”

[@thatguywhosayshi7021]

*Gets lungs stolen* “Oh fook…”

[@Kerplunk_]

it’s called Thievin’ stealin’ taking what’s not yours (I hope you get it)

[@nevize6660]

"Mr president are you the capital of Greenland?" "I am not a Nuuk"

[@internetperson9813]

Ho ho ho this is the best one

[@jacobtheurer3425]

That makes the ooo sound, I learned that from bill wurtz.

[@waytoobiased]

🎶Nuuk 🎵Nuuuuuuuuuuuuk🎵

[@jeffdjmeren4913]

I like this

[@noahhastings6145]

"Mr. President, are you goofy's laugh?" "I am not a hyuk-hyuk-hyuk."

[@tylerkochman1007]

This event was at Disney World, incidentally

[@hyperion3145]

Nixon doing the Goofy laugh would be nightmare fuel

[@specialaccount7631]

such a dumb joke but i still laugh 😂

[@X-SPONGED]

"Mr. Nixon, could you loan me a house?" "I'm not a Nook!"

[@savagepanda8458]

“Mr. Nixon, are you from Kashyyyk?” “I am not a wook.”

[@somekid538]

Morgan Freeman voice: "But he was a crook." I know it's cringe to edit comments but please don't go to replies. It's clear to me now that Nixonites can't take a joke. Now stop arguing over Dick's legacy please. It's unsightly.

[@justsomeguy1691]

Underrated comment

[@fireeye6762]

Honestly didn’t expect to have to scroll down this much to see this comment

[@crypto2633]

0.0

[@rads2361]

I can hear that in my head.

[@gavinknill5346]

morgan freeman voice as slow montage of pictures of Nixon with piano music plays “shortly after, watergate was completely uncovered and Nixon resigned before he could be impeached, and it looks like this is where Mr. Nixon’s story, at least in politics, comes to an end”

[@DailyKansasNews]

Nixon: I am not a crook, I earned everything I got! Morgan Freeman: *He in fact, was a crook.*

[@centennialnixonite]

God bless the Roberts Court for enshrining into the constitution that Nixon is not a crook. Maybe now people will start seeing the truth that Nixon is, in fact, not a crook.

[@waytoobiased]

please say /s

[@adamhaj3890]

"Mr. President, we need someone to prepare the Thanksgiving feast" "I am not a cook"

[@mcmlii.v]

"I've burned everything I got."

[@holius1]

That's right, he is no crook. He's a 100 level mafia Boss.

[@pinfoil621]

Lol

[@von_Farr]

“You can’t violate the privacy of Americans!” “Yes I can! I have over two million power in Mafia City.”

[@maestrofeli4259]

​@harb wasn't it 2020? 3 years ago?

[@maestrofeli4259]

@harb really? well I guess we reached an agreement

[@lolerie]

Hardy

[@MustacheCashStash125]

Narrator : He was in fact a crook

[@kaat1ee1]

"You know where to find me, and I know where to look."

[@i_havethe_highground3955]

"...Sir, this is a Wendy's"

[@georgemackins9500]

He actually said this at Disneyland believe it or not

[@bananacrazy554]

“Well I am not a cook”

[@hobomike6935]

McDonald’s: I’ve earned every cent I’ve got.

[@emmadunn7939]

The Burgerler form MacDonald's...

[@i_havethe_highground3955]

@Connor McfarIand if you get so mad at a dead meme you need to go outside and get a hobby

[@ExemptuousAquatic]

"Aaarrrroooooooooooo!!!!" - Richard Nixon, 3000

[@professoroak5162]

ExemptuousAquatic aroooo. Aroooo indeed.

[@RemovingTheWingus]

Remember what the doormouse said feed your head, im meeting you half way you stupid hippies

[@ChristopherFergo]

I remember my body, flabby, pasty skin, riddled with Phlebitis. A good republican body. God I loved it.

[@ZakJordan98]

"And once im swept into office, I'll sell our children's organs to zoo's for meat, and I'll go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place muahahahahahahahaha!'

[@KandiKlover]

He’s become bitter and let’s face it crazy over the years! He’ll sell our children’s organs to zoos for meat and break into people’s houses at night and wreck up the place bwahahaha

[@phoenixwarden8647]

“Mr President, have you ever played for the Florida Panthers and Calgary Flames in the NHL?” “I am not Tkachuk”

[@Rattenhoofd]

"Mr. President, could you engage in intimate relations with Vito from The Sopranos?" "I am not a finook"

[@slimjimbaby]

“Mr. President, surely you must be mistaken” “I am not mistook.”

[@siangchengpang772]

And don't call me Shirley

[@Doctor_Straing_Strange]

this comment is beautiful because he was, in fact, mistaken in how to conjugate that word

[@DarkMasterJo]

You guys are all clowns get an original thought for fuck sake

[@iceblacktempestrv6426]

@@DarkMasterJo We humans truly are sculpted from the same pile of shit; basically no originality repeating the same vapid jokes ad infinitum.

[@siim605]

@@iceblacktempestrv6426 What matters first and foremost is whether the joke is funny. Originality is overrated.

[@markanthony4546]

“I’m not a crook” Richard Nixon proceeded to be a crook.

[@therajaofashbourne8483]

underrated comment

[@markanthony4546]

@@therajaofashbourne8483 ❤️

[@kareemwail4495]

"And that was when everyone realized, he was a crook." -Morgan Freeman

[@skizzz3884]

@Simz Zxy nothing really, what he did wasn’t that big of a deal but it was politically advantageous to get rid of him so they did.

[@skizzz3884]

@Simz Zxy people will use terms like “crook” and corrupt when its politically advantageous, Nixon wasn’t doing anything that the democrats weren’t trying to do to him, he just got caught. Obama literally did something similar to trump and the same people who call Nixon a crook don’t care. It’s comparable to the trump Russia stuff probably, in size anyway

[@Marcos_Vermanos]

“Do you want to want to make dinner?” Nixon: I’m not a cook, I’ve burned everything I made

[@raghavahuja12]

'hey Nixon, why is it so hard to read you?' 'I am not a book.'

[@MM54334]

"Mr President, does my butt look big in these pants?" "No, I will not confirm that, I will not take a look"

[@ES-zk2so]

Best one

[@Ian-gh9gb]

@@ES-zk2so Now that I look back It’s pretty lame.

[@australium7374]

@@Ian-gh9gb seems pretty high quality most other ones were basic rhymes but there was something popping off here

[@AnnoyingAllie3]

Ofc he didn't wanna take a look, everybody knows he wasn't unfaithful with his hubby

[@Z3t487]

@@australium7374 Nah, he was saying he took a look at the ass and looked lame.

[@beeking1792]

"Am not a crook." *Morgan Freeman narration* "But as it would turn out, Richard was indeed a crook."

[@jeepmega629]

“Hey Nixon, can I read your thoughts?” “I am not a book”

[@markkoetsier6475]

"Hey Nixon, throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!" "I'm not a Took."

[@DGenerationX1311]

LOOL

[@MrThorfan64]

Fool of a Took!

[@resikin]

🤣

[@ConfusedRevolutionary]

Legendary

[@josiahp.6960]

I especially like this one

[@asphalt672]

"Please move this luggage" NIXON: I'm not a truck

[@MaytayMaya]

Imagine attempting to defend your political scandal and 40 years later your infamous speech is remixed into a song

[@MCO18]

crook -noun 1. a bent or curved implement, piece, appendage, etc.; hook. 2. the hooked part of anything. 3. an instrument or implement having a bent or curved part, as a shepherd's staff hooked at one end or the crosier of a bishop or abbot. 4. Richard M. Nixon

[@LifestyleGrows]

4. Arsenal

[@programmingcafe7571]

4. Hillary Clinton

[@258thHiGuy]

croak*

[@1Captain23]

Max Power 8

[@namingisdifficult408]

Max Power Beautiful

[@PanzerMan332]

*record scratch* Narrator: "He was, in fact, a crook."

[@bradymcnamee5292]

Kids: “Hey Grandpa Nixon, can you read us a bedtime story?” Nixon: “I’m not a book”

[@connormorris5589]

Video is 37 seconds longs, Nixon was 37th president, illuminati confirmed

[@squatchjosh1131]

I think his resignation was his 37th and last public announcement as well.

[@brianarbenz7206]

My mother turned 37 the year he left the vice-presidency.

[@scatchleyii]

Connor Morris hahahahaha, yep Say it ain’t so Joe!

[@SupersonicMojoJojo]

why.

[@CrazyBear65]

I'm digging Mudvayne. \m/

[@charliehale9389]

What a day for this to trend.