I think you have a bit of a tendency to only think about defensive moves when you are being attacked or forked. When the knight forked you at 9:00, you should be thinking about if there is any way to counter attack and gain the initiative since you are guaranteed to lose a rook otherwise. You could pin the knight(like what the game review said with rook to c1), or what I noticed was that the queen was the only defender of the knight so try to deflect the queen away. If you pushed the pawn to d5 you could potentially harass the queen away from being able to defend the knight with tempo and then win the free knight. I hope that makes sense!