The Most FRUSTRATINGLY SLOW Monster I've Ever Seen lol | The Tank Amphibians Explored

[@RoanokeGaming]

Thanks for watching guys! I hope everyone enjoyed this ridiculous thing that I am pretty sure you could beat this thing in a fist fight lol

[@Kernwadi]

.seY

[@Yoru-cake]

Opinion though?

[@patriciusvunkempen102]

hell the first few minutes are hella based

[@ForTheFREEMAN]

i dont think it's not looking for a fist fight 😂

[@cat.book.reader]

so true king

[@SalemArc]

Roanoke couldn't squeeze rabies into the video, so he had to shuffle in six foot raccoons. I appreciate the effort.

[@RoanokeGaming]

:( But atleast the racoons made an appearance lmfao

[@Vergilblitz]

​@@RoanokeGaming who is lmfao he is with the Koreans isn't he

[@Countraccoonula]

As a six foot tall raccoon I will admit that we tend to hand out rabies like it's hot cakes.

[@NobodyXSomebody]

😂

[@First-Name_Last-Name]

​@@Vergilblitzhe's the younger brother of lmbfao, how could you not know that?

[@blade2453]

As an exterminator, I can safely say bed bugs are quite possibly the only insect that house couldn’t have, they’re solely adapted to feeding on humans and can’t last long on other animals like ticks can

[@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus]

Those things have made me develop a psychological “itch”, I’ve busted out in hives before thanks to the stress I’ve developed thanks to having to deal with a bad case of them in a apartment complex I had to help refurbish.

[@dr.altoclef9255]

Probably doesn’t have head or pubic lice either, as they have the same restrictions. The house probably has fleas though. Cat fleas will pretty much go for any mammal. ‘Cat’ is just a suggestion.

[@blade2453]

@@dr.altoclef9255 good point, I didn’t consider lice since we exterminators can’t do much for them lol

[@ryantannar5301]

those things are the worst. I grew up in a family that did a lot of property management and I have many distinct memories of my dad dressing up like he was off to clean Chernobyl so that he could clear out evicted apartments without bringing any home.

[@cheekarp2180]

There was outbreaks of them in Australia when I was over there 20 years ago, like entire hostels and hotels heavily infested. I went to one place that had just reopened after being treated for a week, 1st night I felt a tickle on my skin, threw the sheets back and lights on, 3 of them! I killed 2 and watched the other, it ran to wood frame of the bed an into a small crack, used a flashlight and there were at least a dozen more in there. I got some powder from the owners and put in it every single crack I could find. Thankfully did not get bit. Horrible creepy things.

[@jonathanhaney9235]

I feel like the creatures could've been defeated by dropping a few chlorine tablets in the tank once a month and keeping the hatch shut........

[@danjoroddor5538]

Did you already forget about the ghosts who can open locked doors? Goodluck with keeping that hatch shut.

[@fragelzrock9547]

They could had parked the car over it until they escaped

[@TwinSocks-s5p]

shit i’m in lets have a few beers sitting on top of it while we let the chlorine do it’s work

[@CKATNISS]

I get the death angles but may I suggest demagorgon

[@loganb7059]

I’d find a nice big rock and put it over the hatch. Problem solved.

[@Bhunt9394]

The monsters are so slow that Raonoke needed to stall for time with a dozen different biology lessons.

[@EvTheWeebslayer]

Fun fact: going down into an underground watertank is always a bad idea because there is a chance they are filled with co2. Co2 is heavier than air so it seeps down there creating an invisible death trap for people trying to clean their tank and then all of a sudden become light headed and unable to climb the ladder back up.

[@tiffanyabell9070]

My brother used to tell me about that stuff when he worked cleaning inside the tankers that were transported by a big rig.

[@ArDeeMee]

So, the same principle as manure tanks. If it’s not aired out before entering, you’re done for.

[@jimmyredd]

You might also run into H2O

[@Bornst3ll3r]

@@ArDeeMeethere’s stories in which multiple people die to this. Person an enters and passes out, person b quickly enters to get person A out then B also passes out, person C then also tries and passes out and dies.

[@jorgesolis9468]

This happened a few months ago in Texas with some hunters falling in one

[@Musegrl12]

Nothing makes me rush to a Roanoke video quite like worrying about the bs copyright system. That and because these videos are the perfect blend of edutainment.

[@RoanokeGaming]

I appreciate you checking it out before it gets nuked XD

[@miracleman9058]

You know what's not slow. The orks from warhammer 40k. 😅 ahh the games we play

[@Blasted2Oblivion]

I always find it odd. His work clearly falls under fair use. It couldn't be more fair use if he tried. Yet he still gets hit. It really sucks.

[@erubianwarlord8208]

@@Blasted2Oblivion its because the copywrite system is run by gutless uncaring fart guzzlers so anybody with big bucks and walk all over the 'rules' that should protect him

[@serenity8839]

It makes me sad when I miss one before an edit like "what did I miss I need to know"

[@thalia5382]

Roanoke: “The most FRUSTRATINGLY SLOW monster I have ever seen!” Monster: “I’m trying my best! 😭”

[@RoanokeGaming]

"JEEZE MOVE FASTER"

[@thalia5382]

@@RoanokeGaming “I’M OLD!!!”

[@brotherkhrayn3525]

@@thalia5382 “THEN PERISH.”

[@mothmanofaustraliaradio8888]

You're doing your best and I'm proud of you

[@shykorustotora]

Roanoke over here bullying the elderly ....

[@Cheshire020]

Jules is the real hero here honestly. She took out three of them, and also was the most reasonable voice. Granted, that's a low bar, but she's got way more protagonist energy than Dad-Whos-Name-I've-Forgotten.

[@avrie6668]

His name is Beun but I'll forget that so he'll be known as crack head for me ❤

[@hallooos7585]

The dad is a dumbass and gave me side character vibes 😂

[@Luvias0415]

@@avrie6668 Ah yes Beun, the crazy crack head who moved his family out to a house in the middle of the ass end of no where that continuously ignores all major red flags, who works on shit and drinks shitty water till he gets injured by a monster and has to be saved by his more bad ass wife. Or did you mean Ben, the guy that did all the same things but is still a complete and total disappointment?

[@HexCemetery]

BHAHAHA Jules is pathetic

[@oompalumpus699]

Daddy issues.

[@chipstick3856]

It is ridiculous how hard the characters were trying to speedrun being killed while the monsters were honestly just chilling. Director really made a tortoise and the hare horror movie.

[@СергійСавелов]

This comment can relate to almost every single horror movie.

[@TheRaptorOfGaming]

I would LOVE to see a movie about construction workers going ham on dumb movie "monsters" that wouldn't actually be very dangerous because an offsite manager INSISTS that the crew is making up a story so that they don't have to work.

[@kyze8284]

The first guy to meet one jams a hammer in its skull, yells at the other guys to come help with their chainsaws, and throw the head at the supervisor “WE ARE LEAVING”

[@n3tw0rk_n3k0]

@@kyze8284 Sup would be like "Y'allready killed it, get back to work"

[@kyze8284]

@@n3tw0rk_n3k0 I dislike how accirate this is... "just shove a hammer into the next one you did fine. Time is money! Keep going!" Only reason Michael Meyers survived a concrete demo saw is because he came back from the dead anyway, so even if that had hit him in the neck like planned it wouldn't have STOPPED him

[@Skarrier]

Basically a Dead Space, but light-hearted and in present day setting xd

[@boigotbooped]

I'd like to nominate a different creature as this monster's origin. The Hellbender. Hellbenders are the largest salamander, and amphibian period, in the US (Also the 4th largest in the world). They natively come from the eastern US already and have been there for millions of years (since before the dinosaurs bit the dust). I'd say its less of a stretch for them to extend their range west than for their relatives to come across the Bering Strait.

[@mcchicken1849]

You're a smart guy.

[@ItsFreakinHarding.]

It could be some mutation or offshoot of the Hellbender salamander. Cuz Hellbenders usually reach about 1 ft-2ft long, I believe. But they are primarily on the East Coast, not on the west coast like California. But I do like Roanokes theory about it being Chinese giant salamanders that migrated over to the U.S. and mutated/evolved.

[@MrCrunch808]

It wouldn't make that much sense for a water dependent animal to travel from the east to west coast. It would require going through either rivers or going through the coast down from the east coast and across central america and back up the hot and dry southwest. Makes more sense for amphibians to travel across the pacific through the Aleutians.

[@KIBOMoriStudios]

The Monster designer knew EXACTLY what they were doing when they were designing this creature

[@RoanokeGaming]

Got me actin up with face lol

[@KABLAMMATS]

@@RoanokeGaming monsterussy 🥵

[@jonathancampbell7798]

Ayo? 🤨

[@Kernwadi]

Chocolate tunnel enjoyer.

[@MugiwaraZero]

​@@RoanokeGaming ayo? 🤨📸

[@BlueTeam-John-Fred-Linda-Kelly]

Man what a unique looking monster design, I sure hope no big-budget TV show/movie productions steal it's totally unique one-of-a-kind non-generic look.

[@lindinle]

Yeah. Even then it wasnt unique

[@dj11o9er]

I don't get this one

[@BlueTeam-John-Fred-Linda-Kelly]

@@dj11o9er stranger things and a quiet place have the same monster design. But I'm pretty sure they both came out before this movie.

[@dj11o9er]

@@BlueTeam-John-Fred-Linda-Kelly oh

[@ItsFreakinHarding.]

​@@BlueTeam-John-Fred-Linda-Kelly have you ever seen the movie The Monster? Came out about 2016 and the creature in that movie looked pretty much like the giant salamanders in this one, but had white eyes and was way more badass!. And there was only one creature...until the end.

[@fakenails]

The nailed shut part is pretty common for basement or side doors. It is to prevent any burglars from easily pulling the doors open. Also, back in the day, there were animals large enough to break doors and steal food, or hurt you in the process if they get spooked.

[@Hawk7886]

Bears still exist, dude.

[@fakenails]

@@Hawk7886 eh. Not in my area. All the "wild" forest area have now been turned into housing units.

[@andyghkfilm2287]

It also prevent the people that you’ve kidnapped from escaping the basement that you have them trapped in, while giving them agonizing hope.

[@braysonlilburn2296]

​@@Hawk7886 pfffft bears dont exist

[@EuthanizeAllDogs]

@@braysonlilburn2296 Bears went extinct in 2022.

[@BruTheThreat]

That back door part was real af. I remember getting the house to myself for a couple of days, goofing around and drinking. Went to the kitchen to get some water and saw my back door open. I freaked the fuck out, like grab the gun level of panic. Turns out my dog had learned to open it. Regardless, the fear that someone is CURRENTLY in your house is one of the top 10 most gutting feelings

[@Mike-qz4by]

That was me. I was stealing your underwear.

[@BruTheThreat]

@@Mike-qz4by Mf you lucky I couldn’t find you

[@rwby0117]

As soon as Jurassic June starts Roanoke posts a video and immediately opens it with dinosaur talk. Amazing

[@RoanokeGaming]

Just in time!

[@chrisdufresne9359]

I found the Ifunny user

[@TechtonixZi]

I goddamn love listening to your "These people are being stupid, let's see what NOT to do" story telling. I appreciate your work.

[@kyoswkyosw1216]

That’s why I think Tremors is absolutely horror. Everybody did the smartest things they could do AND didn’t call each other a liar and walk into the monster’s mouth out of spite, we never saw the monsters until the characters did, and even knowing everything about them is terrifying because you don’t SEE them even if you know they’re there

[@drewnguyen68]

"Now we move on to the place with real monsters- California. " Had me in tears 😂

[@Charley_Goji]

the explination at 33:25 actually lines up really well with the fact that Giant salamanders are found in North America, in the form of Hellbenders, and there was a Canadian Giant Salamander in the fossil reccord not that long ago that was almost double the size of Chinese giant salamanders.

[@K.Pershing]

Nerd

[@Friendofthescavs]

@@K.Pershingdo you realize what channel your on

[@K.Pershing]

@@Friendofthescavs yes but hes an unfun nerd

[@kaijuar2003]

​@teodomar8971 Do you have any scientific proof of that? Reply made: 9:24 PM Wednesday, December 6 2023

[@boraciclemon4894]

​@@K.Pershingand you're an unfun child, grow up.

[@TheRaikoku]

This might be your most deranged episode to date with all the side tangents, the quips, jokes, memes, i'm all in for this

[@CelineSera]

I dig the Roanoke Gaming riff. Caught me off-guard. As a California native, I approve of your opinion.

[@RoanokeGaming]

XD thanks brother

[@bigtiredpotato]

I feel like this should have taken place in Florida instead of Oregon. It would have been more believeable. As for dunking on the west coast, I live on the east coast too and approve of this sentiment.

[@Solidrum]

Those things would have to show up in a place with low gun ownership if it popped its head up in Florida.

[@bigtiredpotato]

@@Solidrum You're confusing Florida with Texas. A better comment would have been to suggest monsters are terrified of Florida Man™ :P

[@Solidrum]

@@bigtiredpotato I live in Florida, and we have a good number of gun owners here. But yeah, Florida Man would take them head on.

[@partlycloudy7707]

Don't really feel like this would work in rural Florida, they are used to large reptiles and have plenty of guns and unhinged people.

[@jaymevosburgh3660]

No, I live and grew up here in Oregon, along the coast. And it fits. There are a lot ov rural areas in this state and a lot of rednecks, my pa is one, lots ov meth and guns. And beavers are all over along the cascades. Weird shit goes on around here all the time but most folks only hear about what goes on in the valley, a region starting at the border with Washington and going South. The valley is filled with all the liberals while most others live along either side. We mostly get along, but like everywhere else our politicians always fvck things up and only give a damn about the regions they live in. So Florida and Oregon are only so different when it comes to the amount ov wealth and the climate. We get rain more often and probably have the same amount ov white trash (like myself) as Florida. But I don't know what they put in their water because they're fvcking crazy. Must be that super meth!

[@nicolefisher5029]

Roanoke is able to scratch an itch no other KZbin could. Movie? Science? AND memes? *chefs kiss*

[@FrozenHistory852]

I love this new format. Its very conductive to my adhd and the moving between science and film help keep me engaged.

[@ak-ub1ym]

Guess they didnt exactly *scale* up to our expectations huh 😔 (Know its a amphibian but let me have my pun 😓)

[@RoanokeGaming]

HA!

[@ThatDMan87]

I'm a big creature feature/practical effects fan, and sadly the pre-release interview for this movie actually had me hyped. "We hired a contortionist to do the movements in the suit which looks reaaally creepy! You're gonna love this creature feature we made!" And then the camera constantly cuts back and forth so you never see it moving for more than a couple seconds at a time.

[@anecro]

On top of that the creature is really shit in design, you can very easily read that it's a human with makeup, not even the pitch black nature of those scenes save it.

[@kyze8284]

Well that’s unfortunate on all points there

[@jbear3478]

You might like the show All of Us Are Dead; the zombie movements are all choreography and they must be contortionists

[@ThatDMan87]

​@@jbear3478 Hah, I totally misread your meaning about choreography and thought it was another zombie musical. I will totally give it a look.

[@ThatDMan87]

@@anecro So it turns out it was a full rubber suit and the contortionist nearly suffocated in the aquatic basement scenes.

[@theAverageJoe25]

I like how you obviously put much more thought into this film than it’s writers

[@ndmdmdkdk]

I love hearing Roanoke say he can take the creatures he covers in a fight lmao

[@phoenixchampion7]

Honestly I'm not all that strong and I could probably take these things in a fight. If I'm in a forest, and being hunted by creatures I could escape by WALKING away from them... Yeah gimme a big stick, and I could come out on top. God have mercy on these things if I get a hoe, sledgehammer, shovel, or you know... A gun.

[@MonoEyedNutJob]

this is certainly a film. The fact it just sits there screaming at the floor because it had to consider the idea that something is faster than it is quite hilarious and mind boggling.

[@INFAMOUSLSG]

One thing i'm starting to learn from these films is to not ever trust an old house or secluded land that's been willed to you. The monsters design was cool, that's about it.

[@stoneheart0007]

Ruin has come to our family...

[@princeshadow13]

Next you'll say that we shouldn't go to a town called Innsmouth

[@jaymevosburgh3660]

​@@princeshadow13 I would totally live there, so long I get to get balls deep in some squishy fishy-squid frog holes 😂😂😂 I'd be alright with all that mess. I would love to be a "Deep One", if ya get me. Even lived in a very small town like Innsmouth, but smaller and with more meth addicts. Probably as ruinous too, though, I could be wrong about the amount ov decay.

[@xr0ninx569]

Watching Roanoke constantly get sidetracked is like looking in a mirror when I’m trying to talk about stuff 😂

[@vtogvblog]

I love how they have all these cgi monsters, but when the kid gets pulled out of the window, the best they could do was Christopher in a black morph suit.

[@CthulhuianBunny]

5:44 That’s a very modern-looking dinosaur toy for the 70’s.

[@ericlamb4501]

So, a few fun facts about Amphibians and Axolotls: - Amphibians, like Roanoke said, are the link between fish and reptiles, and as such get the best of both worlds. They can breathe in water and on land, even if they need to stay wet to breathe properly on land still a pretty sweet deal. But aside from that, they also get indeterminate growth, which is something only water living animals possess. For those who don't know what that is, it means the animal can keep growing bigger and bigger, so long as there is enough food and room for it or it's not killed in some way, be it disease or predators, though generally amphibians won't grow massive because that would lock them to having to live in the water where gravity affects them less. Cool perk, can't really use it. - Axolotl have a thing called neoteny, which means that cute pink little salamander looking thing we are used to seeing ((They can actually be a lot of other colors like blue and green too)) is their baby form, which they pretty much keep their entire life, because for their environment, basically one cave pool outside of Mexico City ((They are basically extinct in the wild as of 2022)) has very little nutrition. So, staying a small form that doesn't need as much is better for them. If for whatever reason they do end up growing up, if there's more food or space, they lose their trademark frilly gills and pretty much look like every other salamander ever. I was gonna say something else, but I think it can just be summed up as "Nature is a weird bitch, but Humans are even weirder" Our experience is very much shaped by our senses and what we have, which is why it might seem weird to have no eyes or no true stomach like a Platypus, but they can obviously make due with what they have. Very much depends on what role you fill in the grand chain of life ultimately.

[@ehoffart529]

Just wanted to say thanks for what you do Roanoke. I had an interview for a Microbiologist position and when they asked what the difference between a bacterium and a virus was it was actually some of your vids/definitions that instantly came to me. Feeling really good about my chance.

[@ehoffart529]

As an update to this I was offered the position based on my history in biology but they were very impressed by my knowledge in Microbio as well.

[@Patrick-bn5rp]

@@ehoffart529 noice.

[@Lauren007E]

​@@ehoffart529congrats!

[@Snowfreak357]

There’s a movie made in the early 2000’s called the burrowers, that’s a crazy creature I think you should check out. Bites to paralyze, then waits a few days while you rot just right to then eat you alive slowly.

[@Dnyle_13]

Broo yes! I literally commented that a minute ago. Because the first thing I thought of with the title talking about how slow the monsters were, was the burrowers! Was actually a rather good movie in my opinion, I've watched it two or three times over the years

[@ningamer5]

Do you know name of this movie were a monster eat wakesurfer it looks like a big house size Godzilla from 1999 movie It also has scene in which mc kid get turned into a monster or it was monster taking his son form

[@davidkilby1043]

I love that movie. I think I have it on DVD

[@ItsFreakinHarding.]

​@@ningamer5 are you thinking of Deep Rising? It took place on a cruise ship there with a giant monster that had tentacles coming off of it that usually grabbed the people and eat them.

[@ningamer5]

@@ItsFreakinHarding. no but thanks I'm going to watch it looks like fun movie How can I describe it the movie that I mentioned also has scene were character use blowtorch to keep monster away Also did you know about this vampire movie were cowboy looking like characters hunt vampires I don't know name of this movie too There's a bathroom scene were husband fight his wife that get turned into vampire and a scene were a character I think he use a book with cross mark on it or it was Cross instead in dark room to fight vampire I really liked that scene Because in it you can only see character and entire area around him is dark so he has to use his speed to stop vampire from attacking in dark

[@caitlinbrewer4843]

Personally, i am not afraid of any evil i can evade by take the stairs two at a time. But I also think we should just stop discovering things, it never seems to go well.

[@allhailme8457]

I feel like those creatures were very aware of the younger daughters location a lot of the movie. Maybe it was a strong scent she was releasing that they were always able to find? Salamanders have a very good sense of smell.

[@Drapony]

At the beginning the axolotl is clearly in the middle of a large circulating shared water situation, which means the water in his tank is going to be the same water as the other tanks between 70 and 80 because that's what majority of tropical fish require. Axolotls on the other hand require 50 to 60° water. They will also become cannibalistic when they're stressed, actually it's moreover they eat a lot especially if they're overheating because you've increased their metabolism. They will eat their substrate they will eat the plants in their aquarium They will eat the decorations if they can fit them in their mouth and yeah they'll eat each other. So the axolotl analogy actually makes even more sense 😂

[@Ensign-D]

The lobotomy from Bioshock Infinite made me come close to a panic attack, had to get up and walk away or I would have been out. So thanks Roanoke for reminding me while I was happily chowing down on a burrito. I felt my stomach go. Jokes aside that is a monstrous thing to do to someone. As always thanks for effort you put into these, always look forward to another biology lesson.

[@zacharyhelm5700]

With how expensive and difficult it is to maintain nukes, there is no way Russia or the US have the numbers they claim to have.

[@RoanokeGaming]

not even close, which I wont complain about. We really do not need these things

[@X2yt]

Literally no way of knowing that. They might even have more.

[@acephantom903]

With how much the US spends on maintaining them, I do believe the US number +-20%. Russia likely has the number they say but many might not be functional. Still we are better now than we were in the early 80's. That wasn't enough to glass the planet but it would have been a very rough time. I think the estimate was 30% of the Earth population would pass in the first year. Now if MAD were to be enacted, I think the estimate is something like 7% of the world population would pass. Most of it would be in Europe.

[@theshermantanker7043]

Doesn't matter, one nuclear warhead is one too many

[@theprogressivecynic2407]

We almost certainly have more than declared, upkept to a functional level, while Russia 100% has more than declared, with most in a state of total disrepair. Our military budget is absurd, and we genuinely spend enough to keep up our nukes, while Russia hasn't even upkept their tanks, never mind their nukes--the money gets "lost" because it's easy to hide corruption in maintenance budgets.

[@tenebrousoul9368]

The good thing about TBI's and the ensuing memory issues? Every Roanoke upload is a surprise!

[@RoanokeGaming]

Well theres the silver lining! lol

[@lincolnpascual]

Hang in there pal. It does get better... TBI from IED here. It was really bad at first. It just takes time, and strength to bear down and push. You'll make it.

[@Hawk7886]

Sometimes I fall into the abyss thinking about what kind of person I'd be if it hadn't happened. It can be really tough, dude, I'm just happy I have someone to lean on. Also, dogs.

[@nagi1337]

When cannon fodder video game guards are the main characters.

[@iichiigo7751]

Something about axolotls - they're the "nymph" form of adult salamanders, but more or less are a forever-baby. They CAN complete the metamorphosis into an "adult" version, but this is incredibly rare and shortens the axolotl's lifespan significantly. Neat little guys.

[@Marsdog02]

Hey Roanoke, I dunno if you take suggestions, but I’d really think you’d find interest in the flora and fauna of Deep Rock Galactic. Most of the environments are entirely underground and the creatures are possibly herbivorous, carnivorous, and lithovorous (I hope thats a word), and there is a new season coming out with new variants of enemies. Plus its just a fun game to play!

[@rubyflareon136]

ROCK AND STONE!

[@goose1415]

​@@rubyflareon136 If you don't rock and stone, you ain't coming home

[@BagerSnot]

Did I hear a rock and stone!?

[@soarin64]

ROCK AND STONE TO THE BONE

[@unnamed9858]

We fight, for rock and stone!

[@RavenH377f1r3]

I gotta say, I've been watching for a long time, and I love watching this channel and learning more about evolution,mutations, and microbiology. I recommend this stuff to all my friends whenever we watch horror movies cuz I'm always looking to see if you covered it. Love this stuff and keep up the amazing work!

[@Kernwadi]

*But what about FEET?*

[@RoanokeGaming]

Theres a few!

[@Kernwadi]

​@@RoanokeGaming EXCELLENT.

[@Nathan_Coley]

​@@RoanokeGaming How many? 👀

[@sanguiniusonvacation1803]

​@@Kernwadi FEEEEEEEEEeEEEEET

[@Kernwadi]

​@@Nathan_Coley As many as possible...

[@derekedwards5390]

I love this channel so much ☺ so entertaining and funny thank you for all your hard work and keep up the great work!!

[@koppsr]

Another great video 😁👍 Love your content, please never stop! My dad suffered multiple strokes over the years, one during his sleep, one while driving in the car with my mother. She realized something was wrong when he started to slur his words and she directly got off the Autobahn and to the nearby hospital. When your brain clocks out on you, you pretty much lose the game.

[@ornu01]

I'm pretty sure Death is the slowest horror monster, you'll live your whole life and it won't get you till the end.

[@brotherkhrayn3525]

I don’t know man, didn’t seem that slow in Final Destination…

[@ornu01]

@@brotherkhrayn3525 Hey, it waited their whole lives to claim them, that's pretty slow in my eyes.

[@SymonOnua]

You're thinking of Old Age. Death is literally either instantaneous or never ending. 😂

[@СергійСавелов]

@@SymonOnua there's no death because of old age.

[@dylanmonstrum1538]

As much as I LOVE this channel and all of his hard work, it makes me a bit sad... Roanoke will never know that extremely exciting and comfy feeling you get from seeing a new upload from Roanoke Gaming 😢

[@Abramus5250]

Considering the history of just how big some amphibians used to get (crocodile-sized salamanders for example), then getting this big isn’t far fetched. Becoming somewhat ape-like though would take far longer to accomplish. Perhaps rather than the last ice age, they came through during one of the ice ages from hundreds of thousands of years ago? Same route BTW, just much earlier. Also, I think you might enjoy the bear monster from Omen or the mutant lizards from Aberration.

[@Abramus5250]

Edit: the bear Monster is from Prophecy.

[@ItsFreakinHarding.]

​@@Abramus5250 or he could mean the mutated bear monster from Annihilation? I've seen thousands of horror movies over the years and that bear scared me worse than anything else I've ever seen before.

[@dasnomaden]

Can confirm, strange creatures showing up on a building site with a bunch of rough arses with infinite tools which can be easily repuprosed for painful tasks is a good way to get nowhere

[@8darktraveler8]

The Halloween candy thing had me laughing, not wanting the kids to consume too much sugar, we hide most of it and eat it once the kids have been sent to bed. Usually while watching Netflix or fail videos.

[@izzyxblades]

Dear Roanoke, America's oldest reptile store, The East Bay Vivarium, is located in Berkeley, which is immediately next to Oakland. I think that is what inspired the setting for the story.

[@Kernwadi]

They ain't slow... They're just taking their time, don't be mean.

[@cam5816]

Roanoke is very speciesist

[@kaptainkaiju]

I haven’t even finished the video but I have to say this is probably the funniest review you’ve done yet. I have laughed out loud numerous times. Thank you fellow Georgia man for the funny reviews and big brain science

[@sorcikator993]

I honestly like the new format, I was at first sad that you had to change it because of exterior factors like people just staying for the movie description, but now, I realised that it do make the science part more digestible, which is a big plus for me. Glad to be there!

[@hitavi4965]

As a Long Islander I very much agree with your dunking on the west coast attitude

[@carloszestyboy2901]

Legit never knew that you were an EMT. This channel keeps getting better! Could you add a disease to your list by chance? I’ve been meaning to ask you about this one for awhile but the mutant rat virus from Mulberry Street (2006) is pretty terrifying imo.

[@Sbensonn]

Not sure how you've missed he was an EMT, dude seems to bring that up every other episode (exaggeration but you get my drift).

[@bbygirl_demi2036]

I'm so happy to watch this 🙌 your videos always cheer me up and they're so interesting!!!

[@RoanokeGaming]

Thank you for watching!

[@redraven7948]

SAME!!

[@Magick1an]

I have only recently discovered this absolute CHAD of a channel and have been absorbing everything as his lexicon for commentary is so in sync with my sense of humor. But the racoons... makes me laugh as much as his Amy jokes

[@Memnto_Morii]

Man i love your humor in these videos. Also thank you because of this channel, i have learned that i absolutely love learning about the physiology and biology of creatures both real and fiction

[@TopsyTriceratops]

This guy is unbelievable in such a good way. That commentary had me smiling the whole 40 minutes, absolutely fantastic stuff. And bonus education is my sweet tooth!

[@Kernwadi]

A wise man once said; “the smaller the breasts, the closer you are to their hearts!” A wiser man once said; “bigger breasts are the expansion of the heart!” And the wisest man once said; “you must cherish the entire woman, as she’s the only doorway to her heart!” And the God said; "I like feet."

[@Kernwadi]

Amen.

[@Hawk7886]

Wars have been waged over the perfect ass, though

[@bens1cultist405]

Man when I started this video I did not expect to have such a strong hatred for the main protagonist… they 100% earned their deaths

[@MikeTheEnforcer]

You should do a video on the Silent Hill Shattered Memory monsters. Turns out the monsters you encounter changes its appearance based on what you observe in the world.

[@RoanokeGaming]

Might be able to check that out!

[@VaniaB23]

Killed me on the "Raccoons are at it again" remark 😂😂

[@thatonefriend2969]

"hey can i go on land?" "NO" "why?" "THE S U N IS A DEADLY L A S E R !!!" "not anymore theres a blanket~"

[@invidatauro8922]

Bother fun fact about xyotols is that the reason they look like that is because they are stuck in their juvenile form. They don’t produce the chemical needed to begin the transition into their full adult form

[@GameTimeWhy]

Have scientists tried giving them the puberty chemicals? would be cool to see what they become.

[@Hawk7886]

How did you butcher "axolotl" that badly lol

[@invidatauro8922]

@@Hawk7886 Because I'm retarded. Now don't you feel silly.

[@crowdemon_archives]

​@@GameTimeWhythey did try that and the axolotls become tiger salamander-ish?

[@GameTimeWhy]

@@crowdemon_archives oh interesting

[@charlieklausmeier9222]

I live in oregon, I once checked out a summer camp that had been closed for 2 years. It was solid black mold and half eaten by carpenter ants. Every path was completely over grown and we had to clear 2 medium sized trees that had fallen across the access road.

[@randomnessx3597]

i agree with roanoke, if i hear something go bump in the night, the plate carrier and ballistic helmet comes on, and the "force multiplier" comes out

[@Hawk7886]

Going to war against a raccoon

[@randomnessx3597]

@@Hawk7886 yes

[@grafikphish]

There are many species of salamanders on the Pacific Coast, including a few species in the genus Dicamptodon which are "giant" salamanders. I've seen them eat whole mice, garter snakes, and even other salamanders that were barely smaller than the one eating them. I had one as a pet for about 10 years, and they will eat anything that will fit in their mouth and are way faster than you'd expect a salamander to be. But the species that has the most terrifying teeth is the Arboreal Salamander, which is one of several species in Northern California that cannot swim at any point in their life cycle, and mainly live in oak trees around here. Those things will make you bleed.

[@williampabon8288]

Dude your channel is the best! The edits, science tidbits, the cadence, the humor, and bashing New York (I'm from New York) are all just refreshing.

[@NobodyXSomebody]

39:05 kind of reminds me of a gumball episode where they were playing dodge or daar and Nicole had this weird thing on her head that kept second guessing her😂 the joys of having younglings in the house that make you watch all of their shows...also, this movie has to have had the most useless display of self-preservation, common sense and survival instinct in the history of horror movies. The inspiration of this script was "dumbass"

[@Hawk7886]

Gumball is a great show tho

[@truegodfox]

That whole inheritance talk reminded me of when i got my uncle's inheritance. Dude was from my dad's side and absolutely hated him. For whatever reason he just wanted nothing to do with him at some ooint and wrote him out of practically everything he could. Unfortunately for him, he forgot to write my dad out of his will completely, leading to my dad inheriting half of his property. Unfortunately he wasn't alive at the time, but fortunately for me I was, so for whatever legal reason all of that 60k went to me. So that was a pretty nice start to life. Or, it would've been if i wasnt still in high school for another two years and needing to pay rent with no actual free time to get a job. Moral of the story, if you hate someone make sure you actually write them out of your will if they were in there, or else you may end uo giving their kid half your house's worth of cash

[@TheRealMonkeyrogue]

If these companies knew how often I watched a video of yours then went and bought or rented or streamed the film or series in question their minds would be blown. Even the bad ones, I'm hunting them down. They need to come off this copyright BS.

[@arakkh.9280]

'Because the sun was a deadly lazer' You better be paying a royalty to Bill Wurtz my dude.

[@kiwimertens1326]

Your channel got recommended to me a bit ago and i’ve been loving your videos, watching them has actually helped me get over my intense fear of monster/alien movies.

[@thewanderer1317]

As someone who is stuck on the west coast, I agree with dunking on California.

[@bearjuncture]

Hey Roanoke I always wondered do you think you would survive in dead space if you new what was happening.

[@RoanokeGaming]

I would have been the dude watching a guy turn into an infector as it exits a vent and turns me into a slasher. 100% not surviving due to my own curiosity

[@bearjuncture]

@@RoanokeGaming lol

[@NobodyXSomebody]

​@@RoanokeGaming 😂

[@jessicawilson1751]

Speaking of tetanus, I recall a few years ago, there was an unvaccinated kid who caught tetanus. His folks took him to the hospital for treatment, and after his recovery (and gods know how much in medical bills), his parents refused to have him vaccinated... like REALLY?+

[@akarachaivaramali3303]

“Whale’s ancestors got up on land and said ‘nah this ain’t it’” had me spit out my food

[@ookamihime9422]

I just recently found you and I'm so happy to listen to someone who puts science into explanations. Makes my science loving brain happy.

[@ImperatorIke573]

Having lived on the West Coast myself, I agree with your dunking

[@jennyfeare1702]

Dude... you *need* to do a collab with like, Thought Potato, especially given how both of you having passions for biology and cryptids, it'll be a match made in heaven, especially for an episode or few of his Cryptobiology webseries, being treated as an episode featuring a couple of colleges both reporting on their field studies together of a specific cryptic organism!

[@codykyle68w]

I love how based you are. Never change good sir.

[@EmberDirkLloyd]

I love watching these at work, perfect blend of entertaining and educational so I can seem smarter than I am

[@jimmywoolever798]

Roanoke: *dunks on California* Me, a Californian: Now wait just a damn minute... Roanoke: "It was Oakland." Me: Oh, carry on then.

[@primalameoba3896]

I think it would be interesting if roanoke would look at the species from destiny. I know it's not the most popular game now but it would be interesting

[@ericsnipes3465]

good on you for mentioning unethical water stuff most ppl ignore it

[@Scarlet_Soul]

Frustrating Slow Monster...I thought that was the KZbin algorithm

[@RoanokeGaming]

100% correct brother lmao

[@RabbitAfternoon]

Escaping these creatures would be much easier than escaping Carrollton Georgia lol

[@panda77512]

"and now they will have to deal with hung over construction workers with hammers." god that line had me laughing so hard XD.

[@Thorstendeal]

On the Phineas Gage tangent I’ve always heard the story of his accident and his recovery, particularly with people who said he became more aggressive and rude but I’ve got to be honest I’ve always thought that “yeah, I think I would be pretty pissed off in general for a long time if it had happened to me”. I mean the guy left his home for work and when he came back he couldn’t chew a steak anymore.

[@theshermantanker7043]

If it helps: Phineas Gage

[@Thorstendeal]

@@theshermantanker7043 thank you, I’ll correct that now

[@Mwuhahaha]

Can you cover the 'Ultimate Being' from the first Parasite Eve game on PS1? Would be interesting to see your take on the game, as the game itself is about molecular biology.

[@gruk5319]

Wait a second, aren't coves jus open water cave systems? I ask as I remember being taught most coves underwater usually have a cave system along with em,going by what the realtor brought up of the land I'd say those creatures had more room to move than being considered Edit:nvm i see you already brought that possiblity up 😂

[@xavis_dad]

I love how you are more and more finding you voice, or rather, telling the truth. Life uses us all as different pieces on the board. Glad you are grateful you aren't a pawn.

[@hernehaugen6878]

As someone who used to live in Arkansas and currently lives in Washington state, I agree. Oregon is unimpressive and California is *REDACTED* Edit: I specify Washington state so some chucklefuck doesn't go thinking I meant D.C. Sadly yes that has happened before.