Roasting the Worst Startups of All Time

I got paid $0.00 to roast bad startups and promote this:
NEW MSCHF DROP: deadstartuptoys.com/
Follow Coffeezilla
► Twitter: / coffeebreak_yt
► Instagram: / coffeebreak_yt
🎶 Music: • wake up and smell the ...
This video is an opinion and in no way should be construed as statements of fact. Scams, bad business opportunities, and fake gurus are subjective terms that mean different things to different people. I think someone who promises $100K/month for an upfront fee of $2K is a scam. Others would call it a Napoleon Hill pitch.

[@Rakinjo2]

Honestly, the Juicero is amazing. They literally set up a juice-making company in order to sell you a glorified can opener.

[@TheLargeHardonCollider]

AvE's teardown video of Juicero is absolutely amazing too. Everything about the whole process, from the press machine to the subscription-based IoT-connected juice packets was over-built and under-delivered.

[@nichijoufan]

Reminds me to Apple

[@marcelbruins5571]

a lot of companies are like that i quess

[@Chris-jg8bm]

It definitely can't open cans though.

[@justinmckee2256]

@@TheLargeHardonCollider AvE’s tear down of everything is amazing

[@Fluted4U]

I invented a new type of fan, more of a "wind machine" than a fan really. The air that comes out of it is so blowy, that it shouldn't even be called air; it should be called, I don't know, forced atmosphere, because that's what it is. Literally, there is air in my veins.

[@_thechosen]

Oh, I don't see what you did there...

[@darksidegryphon5393]

And an embolism too!

[@JudgeGideon823]

Take my money please.

[@zvxcvxcz]

Umm... have you seen the "bladeless" fan? Which company popularized the design again... maybe it was Dyson?

[@ext93]

Lol. I used to be a painter and we often used "air movers" which honestly are pretty much wind machines. They are powerful and useful and different from a fan 🤷‍♂️

[@big_numbers]

You missed the part where Juicero needed wifi to work and needed an app on your phone where it specifically said that it would be selling your data.

[@erickgomez7775]

Hahahah if you told me that's from a South Park episode, I would believe you

[@DerRoflator]

In addition, the juice must be consumed within 5 or 7 days. The QR code that is scanned by Juicero contains the expiration date. If it is over, the machine refuses to juice.

[@khango6138]

There's a reason why in Star Trek, even on warp-speed starships, people still use forks and spoons. If it ain't broke, trying to fix it will just break it anyway.

[@ramtosantosa7661]

That’s why we have Spock, as both a person and something in between 😂

[@theotherjared9824]

Gene Roddenberry specifically didn't want any set to be superfluous. Every little detail had to serve a practical function in at least one episode. That's why most of the ships have a minimalist design unlike the beeping and blinking lights of other space operas. If a fork can do what a fancy fork robot can do just as well, go with the fork.

[@Bambeakz]

You know Star Trek not really happened right?

[@djixi98]

​@@BambeakzPerson 1: "superman is stronger than batman!" Person 2: "No batman is stronger!" You: "um, guys, you know they don't exist, right?" You did the meme, quite literally.

[@Ben-kz2km]

Juicero: Our engineers have taken care of everything. The growing, the harvesting, the washing, the chopping,... So, like,... juice manufacturers? 🤷‍♂️

[@dasmesser1]

I remember explaining commodities trading to my wife and she answered: Her: "So like a grocery store?" Me, finding no errors in her logic: "Am...well...yes, sort of. But in a more sophisticated, intangible way. But yes, like a grocery store."

[@Gio102897]

So I actually think the packaging was pretty smart

[@MRJMXHD]

@@Gio102897 same.

[@V0YAG3R]

Gio102897 no

[@finwalter395]

@@Gio102897 To much waste.

[@cousined666]

You forgot to mention that the Juicero packets had a special QR code on them that was read by the machine and if there wasn’t one on the packet the machine wouldn’t squeeze the bag you put in it. Basically telling you you can’t buy some off-brand juice but you had to buy their overpriced garbage.

[@TkevTV]

Hey hey people.... Sounds of a horrible product Where can I buy one?

[@genemechanic6773]

🤣 Gotta make money somehow!

[@cheechalker8430]

That doesn’t sound very “Doug-like” or the “spirit of Doug” Personally, I think Doug was hinting at steroid use. “I have juice in my veins”?! Sounds like something ARod or Mark McGuire would say

[@notyourdamnbusiness8795]

+ if your internet doesnt work....sucks to be you.

[@choose282]

ALSO also, their distribution network was such ass that half the country wouldn't get the packets before the qr code told the press it was expired

[@romist12]

I grew up in Uruguay, where the green notebooks were actually given to children by the government. It was the first time many of their parents had access to internet too. This computer ( called “Ceibalita”) was the only computer available in many households. So.. although it wasn’t a product to last (chromebooks are just light years better), they did do a lot of good :)

[@seferinorino6951]

I think same in Argentina

[@michaeldoran4367]

19 inch VEINY BLACK KOK WHIPPED OUT IN A HIGH SCHOOL BASEBALL GAME

[@emperorkiva8063]

Aunque eran bastante decadentes. Los teclados no duraban nada jsjs pero fueron mejorando los diseños

[@batastrophic9762]

@@michaeldoran4367"Hey kids! Who wants to go to 3rd base?"

[@HydraBill57]

That's actually really nice

[@Druklet]

Teacher here. XOs were the worst! You got a class set and the kids were so excited to get to use a computer, but only 2 of them actually worked and then the kids went full Lord of the Flies over them. Then you had the principal complaining that you weren't using this brilliant educational resource that the school spent so much money on!

[@commoguru]

Fantastic idea, terrible execution.

[@AyeGameBae]

Not full lord of the flies! 😂😂😂

[@PurpleMaleFroslass]

I work in tech salvage and found a few in our junk bins. Honestly not surprised.

[@l1z4rdon7]

I bet all the kids found a way to put Halo onto all their laptops. That’s what we did in middle and high school.

[@csnipper524]

The problem with schools and business, if it sounds educational and they think kids will like it they don't bother to see if it actually works.

[@Cheapthrill1979]

Theranos makes me embarassed to not have a multibillion dollar business. Given how easy it apparently was.

[@Tomi97_videos]

You feel shame, thats why you dont have one

[@Cheapthrill1979]

@@Tomi97_videos We need to become psychopaths.

[@simplylearning9347]

@@Cheapthrill1979 we need rich daddies.

[@HandmadeDarcy]

@@simplylearning9347 Yes - everyone leaves that out. She was "one of us", as the daughter of an Enron exec, and she leveraged Pretty Granddaughter Energy to get Clinton, Schultz, and the other old, techno-ignorant leaders of the "one of us" club on her board.

[@skeletonbuyingpealts7134]

@@simplylearning9347 We need to be Psychopaths with rich daddies

[@CNRMAX]

Elizabeth Holmes popping up on screen was one of the most terrifying things i’ve ever seen

[@dylanwillmon5672]

She has a thousand yard stare and that weird effing voice, lizard person dead giveaway

[@nickmason2345]

Fun Fact: That’s not her real voice

[@regulargoat7259]

@@nickmason2345 what do you mean?

[@nickmason2345]

@@regulargoat7259 she’s fakes her deep voice.

[@amicloud_yt]

@@nickmason2345 and she doesn't even do a good job at it!

[@Lin-rh6qs]

The reason Holmes is so creepy is because she basically stalked Steve Jobs his entire career and tried to perfectly copy his every move and mannerism. She thought being exactly like one of the most successful businessmen in the world, she would also be successful, despite her product never working.

[@purplecat0000]

she shouldve medically transitioned to rlly commit to the bit

[@asteroidrules]

And at no point did she realize that Steve Jobs had basically nothing to do with his own success.

[@negator14]

Her voice was also fake

[@jaymantisgaming]

that theranos chick. dude. any investor that trusted those cold, souless, predatory shark eyes deserved everything they got

[@Otaku2803]

Apparently a lot of old dudes were swayed by her charisma 🤣

[@oscarinacan]

Wait, those are her real eyes? That's not a doctored vid? A filter of some sort?

[@mayonotes9849]

@@blurrycryptid Because being monotone makes her look 'professional'.

[@blakksheep736]

Idk why, but using "chick" to derogratively refer to someone who honestly deserves it is so funny to me.

[@blakksheep736]

@@blurrycryptid apparently she lowers her voice because she thought people won't take her seriously if she was high pitched because it makes her sound too young or unserious or something.

[@danielhiguita5511]

The eyes of Theranos' Ceo still creep me out.

[@archockencanto1645]

Zucc lizard vibes.

[@dandruff3414]

I still see that creepy image when I close my eyes

[@thatcopenguy]

I wasn't watching the video and came back to her closeup face talking about blood. Creepy AF.

[@starcrafsf7101]

and voice

[@bugsy007]

👁️👄👁️

[@reclusingrecluse4835]

"There's juice in my veins" That's what we non-lizard people call blood

[@roguestowl2280]

😂 Blood is just very salty juice.

[@fleebogazeezig6642]

@Sean Price this isn’t gonna turn into one of those “is a hotdog a sandwich”? Arguments is it?

[@SomeOne-zw6kh]

@Sean Price if said person is drinking the blood, it could be referred to as juice. Human juice. Although I guess human juice would consist of all kinds of things (sweat, blood, saliva, pus, etc)

[@adamofblastworks1517]

Blood is meat juice.

[@angrybidoof847]

@@SomeOne-zw6kh I thought sweat was your man juice?

[@tweak3871]

Honestly the Coolest Cooler doesn't look like that horrible of an idea, it was just executed really poorly. I feel like you could simplify the concept a bit and probably do pretty well if you can figure out the manufacturing & distribution. Good branding too.

[@CHSidChou]

agree, they dont look like too much feature creep, i guess only thing is they couldnt deliver, but its a good concept

[@michaeld387]

I am just imagining this thing would way a ton with the battery needed to power it. I mean, a cooler loaded out with drinks and ice is already pretty weighty, then add a 10 pound lithium battery on top of that? Might as well have built it with a wagon form factor ie 4 wheels and a handle.

[@CHSidChou]

@@michaeld387 its a cooler, it get wheels already, and this is not 2000s lithium battery dont weight that much, a 300Wh battery weights about 5 pounds and its more than enough to mix some drink and play music

[@_taxman_]

How is it a good idea? If you want all the things included. Just get a good quality cooler, and assemble a backpack with plates, boom box, battery, and blender.

[@mitchweber7868]

@@_taxman_ it's nothing really new, cheap 12 volt fridges are starting to get pretty popular and some of them have built in lithium batteries you could just expand on that but yeah all of the plates and stuff and the kitchen utensils that's just kind of dumb. But people want all the electronic gizmos I feel like. Like the boombox and the blender.

[@crashnreset6987]

If you did not realize at the mere mention of "doing hundreds of tests from a single drop of blood" that it was the delusion of a crazy person, and then went on to see Elizabeth Holmes, and still not realize she was a nut job, then the voice was your third wake-up call... If my two choices of rectal examiners were Edward Scissor-Hands or Elizabeth Holmes, I would still think long and hard before deciding ;p

[@SuperKokode]

I missed the whole Theranos thing when it happened, but I do remember the multiple vials of blood required to run a few basic tests at the doctor's.

[@bhaskarmehra8758]

Bro, you're gonna consider letting some mofo named Edward Scissor-Hands rectally examine you?!?

[@aggressivelyamicable5987]

What happened was that nearly every medical expert who reviewed the idea called it out as being nonsense. Sadly the investors just jumped on while ignoring the experts.

[@andrewolguin2460]

It could have been useful if Elizabeth wasn't so deadset on arbitrary things like form factor and trying to do it with one of those little pin prick things. Imagine if it was one test l per machine or just used a full vile of blood but could be run quickly idk. With all of that money they shuld have been able to build something useful.

[@aggressivelyamicable5987]

@Andrew Olguin Nah, the concept was inherently stupid. If you look into how these blood tests work you'll realize it was an obvious sham from the start. It's literally like someone promised you they could teleport you by recreating your body at a new location. Similar level of impossibility. Theranos would've had to advance medical science by centuries.

[@ryanatkinson2978]

I am still SO AMAZED that anyone heard Elizabeth Holmes talk/do her weird performance and didn't immediately get VERY uncomfortable lmao. It's so laughably bad hahaha

[@Heligany]

Yes its very weird that her act apparently worked: I feel like Im missing some pieces of the puzzle.

[@gallows_Calibrator]

@@Heligany Apparently her demeanor was carefully crafted to appeal not to a average consumer, but to be catnip to silicon valley techheads. Called herself the next Steve Jobs and everything (all these guys LOVE Steve Jobs)

[@zubetp]

@@gallows_Calibrator this is true. she dressed like him, talked like him, acted like him, but looked like a pretty blonde lady. said a lot of empty buzzwords. had a lot of connections. she was basically a parasite - designed herself from the ground up to fit seemlessly into the supremely rich tech community while providing nothing of value, only robbing her hosts of endless resources.

[@2011blueman]

No different than Elon Musk, fake it until you make it.

[@LocksAndChains]

She's doing a public speaking thing that I've seen a lot of managers do... And I don't get it either. It just makes me uncomfortable.

[@ChengTeoh]

"There's juice in my veins" is almost as crazy as someone saying “I'm different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man.”

[@Penoatle]

"The eye of the tiger"

[@baileyayyy5085]

sounds like you're sound jealous of his juicy veins

[@tilburg8683]

He just meant heroin, dunno how y'all didn't get that.

[@tyqwe45qe]

BUILT DIFFERENT BigBrother I'M A MOTHERFUCKING PROBLEM BigBrother

[@u0aol1]

Woah woah woah slow down Charlie

[@hideokojimajr]

LOL, I was one of the lucky kickstarter backers who got a Coolest. It absolutely rules, still use it all the time.

[@anitachamberlain3391]

It actually seemed like a cooler I would want. I like the multi purpose features all in one place, especially when at the lake or somewhere like it.

[@RobKaiser_SQuest]

I was havin' a shitty day and this comment made me smile and laugh. It makes me think we're each entangled with some random person in a karmic quantum wave, and their peaks are our troughs and vice versa, lol.

[@IARRCSim]

Is it the coolest cooler that you ever had? Is there another cooler that is cooler?

[@Chungus581]

Yeah it sounded like it rocks

[@absolutezerochill2700]

Isn't SUPER heavy though? If you need a heavy duty cooler, just get a Yeti.

[@censusgary]

It’s pretty obvious why each of these products failed. To me, though, the really interesting part is that each of them raised millions of dollars in startup money (about a billion, in Theranos’ case). Why wasn’t it obvious to investors that they were throwing away their money?

[@alvr3461]

I don't have the data but, I thought these are just the special cases where the conman is just very convincing.

[@commoguru]

Because they can afford to, they barely noticed the money they lost.

[@Farbfilmstudio]

is it realy so obvious?

[@teambonry]

GREED

[@Vitorruy1]

The whole thing was designed from the ground up to be investor eye candy

[@Professional_Youtube_Commenter]

when you watch that theranos lady speak into the camera like that knowing she uses a fake deep voice makes it so much creepier.

[@blakasmurf]

It's her eyes though, like she's purposefully opening them wider, that's creepy 🥶

[@cinialvespow1054]

@@blakasmurf why does she open them wider

[@rupertshitgrin7336]

@@cinialvespow1054 People who tend to be sociopathic tend to open their eyes wide like that.

[@frightenedsoul]

@@rupertshitgrin7336 shit I may be a sociopath. I have huge eyes

[@tonykrizan3641]

It made me think she was trans at first but it seems like she's not. NO, I don't think that would make it worse or better. It's still a scam and what terrifies me most is her horror movie eyes that never ever blink.

[@AndroidHarris]

That Theranos lady is one of the scariest things I've seen on the internet in a long time. She would fit right in to any creepypasta.

[@misterx6276]

Or Nazi villain.

[@tomisaacson2762]

At least that psycho is behind bars now

[@WinS392]

I read the news when all that went down and her face is very familiar to me, but this is the first time I've heard her talk, and WOW! CREEPY!

[@devilchomps3295]

Her and Mark Zuckerberg have some sort of lizard people pact i swear

[@1998topornik]

Agreed.

[@SergioLongoni]

The One Laptop per Child wasn't a bad idea, but a bad execution. The EEE by Asus that followed with a similar price point was the first Ultra Portable commercial success, in an era before tablets.

[@waynejohnson1786]

There’s a joke from Archer about that “1 laptop per child soldier, which quickly became a 1000 laptops per warlord”

[@xl000]

Also bad timing, as they came right at the same time when the iPhone was released, maybe 1 year earlier, and the smartphone / tablet industry quickly made this kind of product totally useless, as similar products quickly came in a similar price range, but were made by people who can acually manufacture such products

[@SergioLongoni]

@@xl000 EEE were successful between 2007 an 2010 when the iPad was released. Apple also did the Mackbook Air in 2008 to follow the trend. that said yes, after the diffusion of tablets the ultra portable market lost all its value

[@squngy0]

Yea, I think Coffee missed a bit there. Yes, the One Laptop was quickly outperformed by netbooks, but netbooks didn't exist before that point. These guys literally unintentionally kicked of a world wide tech trend.

[@FreshSmog]

@@xl000 Computers are still very different from tablets and smartphones though. The current generation is arguably less tech savvy because modern devices oversimplify lots of processes by hiding anything complicated from the user. There's nothing wrong with that, but specifically as an educational device, it doesn't facilitate the kinds of deep exploration that some children might be interested in.

[@bruex2277]

ok so, the one laptop per child actually was a thing on my country (uruguay) we call them "xo" and they were given to you in public schools, i have actually seen a few of them from friends (the keys on the keyboard have rubber and it's pretty weird) they eventually stop giving them and started giving actual laptops with ubuntu linux

[@rare6477]

esaaa. Yo iba a decir lo mismo. Que lindo ver otro/as uruguayo/as

[@renzofores]

Vine a comentar esto mismo, vi la laptop y dije "Bro Coffezilla me esta basureando la Ceibalita"

[@poonnapap.3856]

Same (Thailand) 😅

[@zenkim6709]

The rubber keys were a compromise: conventional keys would've been "nicer" but the designers wanted the keyboard to be more durable, since the OLPC machine was envisioned to be a system that could be used anywhere -- including Third World countries w/ limited infrastructure & harsher environments.

[@BENHUR.]

lol aquí en Perú la educación básica pública es muy mala, en mi colegio habian algunas de esas laptops en el área de computación que después de todo no contaba, la cosa es que a mi y tres compañeros mas nos encargaron un proyecto de robótica y esas laptops eran para programar eso, realmente odié lo limitadas que eran esas laptops

[@dankeykang4576]

"Literally there's coffee, in my veins." - Coffeezilla, probably

[@pinedbymoneyside474]

F•O•R•• M•O•R•E•• P•R•O•F•I•T•• A•N•D•• I•N•V•E•S•T•M•E•N•T•• W•H•A•T•S•A•P•P +.1•6•0•9•3•7•9•3•1•6•5••

[@realharo]

"There's coffee in that nebula" - Captain Janeway

[@diegojosue426]

@@pinedbymoneyside474 say goodbye

[@emichaelny336]

"There's literally blood in my blood," Dracula.

[@zemxm]

@@emichaelny336 :: TransylVEINia. Alright, I'll see myself out. ✌🏻✌🏻

[@stackflow343]

I am so tired of this obsession with trying to make everything a smart device which actually proves more impractical than the original thing they're reinventing.

[@leonrobinson8180]

Simple. Tech is the fast track to billionaire status

[@Mr_Bones.]

I just bought another nickel metal battery from the other side of the world so that I can repair my old electric toothbrush. I have to solder it in tomorrow. All this work to save $90, but most importantly, I do NOT want to buy a new toothbrush because they all come with Bluetooth. Why the sam hell do I need Bluetooth to brush the carbs and poultry off my teeth?? 🤦🏽‍♂️

[@liamcollinson5695]

I agree with smart ovens most people panic if the think they they left it on

[@boiboi7717]

literally bitcoin in a nutshell

[@andredeketeleastutecomplex]

I want smart toilet paper, with bluetooth and a hdmi port.

[@ekayn1606]

The pen was redesigned around 50 years ago. You used to have to dip your pen in ink.

[@Bandoolero]

A Hungarian guy called Bíró designed the bullet point (biro) pen

[@BreadCatMarcus]

50 years ago was the 70s....it happened in the late 1800s. LOL

[@chrispalumbo5556]

A ballpoint pen specifically was designed with astronauts in mind though, as it allowed the pen to work without gravity

[@antcantcook960]

People were dipping quills in the 1960s? Be quiet child

[@antcantcook960]

@akplmn the original poster said “around50 years ago” not “more than 50 years ago”, what exactly is your point😂? Dude was just off by more than a century

[@Azide_zx]

12:00 people said she was the female steve jobs before they found out she was a scam but shes really got the Mark Zuckerberg face

[@chloeep9329]

Oh my god she looks exactly like a female Zuck

[@todd.cannon]

Elizabeth Holmes is a human being that is in the Uncanny Valley.

[@SaltCane]

Her eyes are fucking gigantic

[@christophermartin972]

Uncanny Valley Ranch

[@epyon542]

@@SaltCane her eyes aren't normally that large. She thought too be taken seriously she had to have an imposing stare and deep voice which is why it all feels so strange. She just opened her eyes as wide as possible and deepened her voice as much as she could thinking that it would make people take her seriously when in reality it did the exact opposite. There's a video somewhere on KZbin of Holmes practicing her deep voice and breaking down about no one taking her seriously. The delusion is somewhat fascinating.

[@aliioana8586]

@@epyon542 it’s not really a delusion. Women actually aren’t taken seriously. In this case it was definitely a nasty display of manipulation but women constantly have to make changes in order to have any shot at being taken seriously by men, especially in historically male-only occupations.

[@epyon542]

@@aliioana8586 I don't know what you're talking about to be honest. It may be anecdotal but all the women I've meet in STEM have been taken seriously because they've proven their knowledge, just like any man.

[@DeetotheDubs]

The Theranos lady being caught slipping into her real voice is still funny to me.

[@grungepen]

Same cause it's so Jurassic, like "nO OF COURSE NOT- well I mean-"

[@Will_Parker]

The funny thing about Juicero is that they probably could have pivoted and just sold the juice as an extreme vegan product and end up making money, but they had sunk so much into the juicer aspect that they couldn't do anything that could have made them profitable.

[@Balmung60]

Heck, powder it and beat those AG1 guys to the market

[@dr.archaeopteryx5512]

My girlfriend and I learned about Juicero around the same time we were watching Primeval, and now we have the joke that their Raptors are all trying to get their hands onto Juicero. Sadly they can't get them, because obviously the company went under.

[@ghoultooth]

Primeval is the GOAT.

[@NPC1921]

Man you just awakened a slew of memories I forgot I had

[@aidanm5578]

"There's literally iron in my veins". Will be my opening statement to becoming the next iron mining magnate.

[@V0YAG3R]

Pined by Cōffezillā no

[@RandomGuy-fq4mb]

@Pined by CōffezillāYou seriously can’t spell pinned? Cmon now

[@ninjaswordtothehead]

But, but... there is iron in your veins.

[@jeremydoerksen5988]

@@ninjaswordtothehead beat me to it

[@BobPagani]

With iron in his veins, he must have trouble going through airport security.

[@TNinja0]

Honestly, a swiss army cooler doesnt sound too bad. Aren't coolers kind of a hub during parties? A charger and a speaker sounds just about right. Not sure about that LED and a knife.

[@vincentburlingame8646]

The LED lights were unneeded as was the knife, everything else sounded cool

[@the11382]

All of those features take a lot of space probably.

[@carlosramos3890]

But do you really need 13 million dollars to make a cooler with a speaker and a battery?

[@TNinja0]

@@carlosramos3890 No. But the idea intrigues me a little.

[@nfsrival1499]

The problem is, the 180$ price tag. Lets take a regular cooler. $30,-. Take the 'features' the Coolest has; A knife, 'usb charger', bluetooth speaker, a smoothie maker. Those things loosely cost literally not anymore than $70,-. And probably all are better quality than those in the Coolest. They are literally selling you the 'idea' it will come in handy. Not even mentioning the practicallity of sand getting stuck everywhere in the coolest. So no, it is retarded. Glad it failed.

[@coversbyrichard]

That cooler was pretty cool... not gonna lie... the speaker and the charger does make sense if you think about how close you stay to the cooler when you're eating at a picnic or on a fishing boat...

[@Xmasta420]

But you probably already own those things as is- or at least someone invited will bring them

[@Chungus581]

@@Xmasta420 the cooler isn’t to replace the actual charger it’s to have a place to plug them in when you’re on a boat, at the beach or away from outlets.

[@absolutezerochill2700]

problem is that it was superheavy, like 40kg with NOTHING in it, even heavier with all the stuff it was supposed to come with. And still not even considering how much the thing that a cooler is SUPPOSED to carry weighs. If you need a durable cooler, just get a Yeti.

[@Finlandlion]

Shitty bluetooth speaker, knife, plates, blender etc in one overpriced package. Most of people have all of those things in better quality allready. Well, I have to give the blender part, not many have wireless blender, but how many times you are going to use that?

[@Redbird-dh7mu]

The concept isn’t bad, but it is over designed. If they scaled it back a bit, maybe stripped one of the features, made the cooler lighter and bigger, and so on, it could work.

[@miraa2k16]

The jibo advertisement didn't look real at all so I, w my active imagination was just expecting the robot to go crazy and kill everyone

[@GlassesnMouthplates]

I wished the set also comes with an action figure of the Theranos lady so I can put her on my shelf alongside other figures of horror movie icons.

[@DocBree13]

Lmao!

[@unknowngod8221]

And put it in the jar 😏

[@blakksheep736]

She sounds like the antagonist of a horror detective game, which doesn't sound so bad honestly.

[@cheechalker8430]

Wait a minute …….. Elizabeth Holmes was asked in an interview: “If you are what you eat, what are you?” Her response? “Green juice” Conspiracy?!!!! I think not! Elizabeth Holmes _is_ Doug from Juicero!!

[@aquilatempestate9527]

They both have juice ancestry. Funny that.

[@Kaanfight]

Instead of using a vial of juice from your veins, we should just use a drop!

[@cartmann94]

-“Jibo, you’re supposed to be on lockdown.” -“Melissa…”

[@kenyattashackelford8856]

I thought the jibo was an SNL skit 😂😂😂

[@reedriker4772]

Holy shit. The cooler looked so familiar I had to go out in my garage to see..and sure enough there was our "Coolest Cooler".. my dad must've thought it sounded cool when the Kickstarter was announced but we've never even used it bc it's soo complicated 😆

[@jeanneann3545]

The idea itself actually sounds pretty cool. If only it didn't look like normal 1970s cooler with 1990s blender attached with it and again 1990s looking speaker. Im sure if they design it properly and sell it as quirky picnic stuff it might sell pretty well. The other functions sounds so weird though.

[@snuffysam]

@@jeanneann3545 Start small, only add features when you already have money lol. Like pick one of the things from the video to add to your cooler (eg just the blender), and if that sells, release Coolest 2 with more features. Steve Jobs didn’t run out the gate promising face tracking day 1.

[@kulvirkang7953]

Probably drunk when he bought it. Like me now in the digital age at 32 with money

[@jeanneann3545]

@@kulvirkang7953 I dont even have to drunk to buy bunch of useless stuffs that i dont need. sometime i wonder what iam thinking when i buy those stuffs.

[@kulvirkang7953]

@@jeanneann3545 good, don't ever drink then you will spend more

[@MrC0MPUT3R]

"Has this weird operating system on it." The entire Linux community: "and I took that personally"

[@maxmaxwell4211]

Lol was he really referring to Linux? I may take it personally now.

[@orion10x10]

whoa, what the FUCK

[@diane9812]

Well, I mean…

[@mikatu]

the operating system was UNIX, not Linux.... but nice try!

[@jeremyklein953]

Your top 5 kernels, go:

[@scarlett8782]

I'm crying from laughter that Elizabeth Holmes got a husky and tried to tell everyone it was a wolf. she's that girl in grade school that tells everyone that she lives at Disney World and that her dad runs youtube

[@fancychipss]

Juicero was actually on the verge of something amazing. Juice packets would sell like wildfire! But they weren't selling the packets, they were selling the machine.

[@elonmust7470]

I would never buy them..

[@josho.9530]

It's like go-gurt haha. "Squeeze and enjoy juice on the go!" Bottle: b-b-but...

[@gokuxsephiroth4505]

Idk, in what world would a juice packet do better than a bottle? Like, granted, it's smaller and would save space, but you'd be forced to drink the whole lot at once as opposed to a bottle's ability to rescrew its cap, not to mention how much plastic it would produce

[@robertkorn]

You mean like Capri Sun?

[@Lolvi6]

"sell like wildfire"?

[@torygig8299]

Am I the only one that thinks this company charging money by sending toy reminders of long forgotten, failed businesses is teetering on irony? 🤔

[@Lunalite]

Considering the name of the company it's probably on purpose

[@jeanneann3545]

If they include small card explaining the stuff and why it failed, it actually could be a good educational toys.

[@replicantmonk4310]

Elizabeth Holmes looks like she was made in a lab in Area 51, and she's constantly trying to do an impression of George Takei.

[@_thechosen]

From Suckerberg's DNA.

[@carloscjr23]

Unironically was a Steve Jobs cultist, she wanna be like him, all that entrepeneur/bussiness man bs, but not in the part where you actually make something that can be sold.... and work.

[@fleebogazeezig6642]

@@carloscjr23 the Wirecard guy also was obsessed with dressing like Steve Jobs.

[@anotheryoutubeaccount5259]

Your mom was made in A51

[@byronic-heroine]

Oh myyy

[@pretzelcoatl_1121]

Nothing like a cooler that needs charging.

[@red__guy]

14:50 that's why my professor yelled at us not to live demo our project!

[@Ms666slayer]

“Why the cooler design hasn’t change in 50 years” bacause it works perfectly, you don’t need to change something that works as intended with no problem.

[@derdurstbursch]

Well no. You can optimize it. Or try to. Buuuuut if you fail than yes it stays the same 😁

[@cheechalker8430]

In the vein (pun intended) of reinventing the wheel ………. I understand many people don’t like needles, but I don’t understand the big deal about “one drop of blood” Once a phlebotomist has the needle in your vein, the blood comes out pretty fast. The issue isn’t the amount of blood, but rather how they take the blood out. Everyone needs a certain amount of blood to live and it’s not like people are walking around on “E” in the blood tank and couldn’t spare more than a drop. But hey, what do I know? I’ve never even been to Silicon Valley.

[@ayajade6683]

Like we've added wheels to them and now have folding coolers. Not sure what else people want I just want a cooler to function properly.

[@CrashTheRed]

@@cheechalker8430 If I recall correctly, it was not just about the one drop of blood, but also about the design of the device they made to do the blood tests. The technology is there and already in use with the Siemens machines they had bought. The problem lies with the small size they had which constrained the design and made it near impossible to work with using our current tech. They were also advertising the idea of sending your results over the internet as an innovative idea. Honestly, there's much more that's interesting like the organ-on-a-chip MEMS device, and I sure as hell don't see how one drop of blood is a world changer either. But what do I know? I'm no Elizabeth Holmes.

[@marwanelmounajjed]

If it ain't broken don't fix it

[@QuixEnd]

That's actually genius.. the art not the startup lol. I need some tiny useless pieces that represent equally useless startup items

[@digitalassetsinvestorrepli2964]

F•O•R•• M•O•R•E•• P•R•O•F•I•T•• A•N•D•• I•N•V•E•S•T•M•E•N•T•• W•H•A•T•S•A•P•P +.1•6•0•9•3•7•9•3•1•6•5••

[@helixlacoste6945]

@@digitalassetsinvestorrepli2964 Literally a copy of that one company he was always talkinb about that would make limited edition items. Exact business models.

[@zvxcvxcz]

Wouldn't it just be rich if this "MSCHF" company were the next to go under.

[@hellterminator]

You missed Jibo's killer feature: He can twerk.

[@phifuru]

Elizabeth Holmes triggers my fight or flight response

[@kbf9644]

The fact that the Thernos toy was literally a plain empty box is perfection. 😂

[@ultimateninjaboi]

Love juicero trying to claim that their prepackaged, shelf-stable juice-bags are SOMEHOW "more fresh," that literally squeezing the liquid out of a fruit, yourself. Like... it just sounds like something out of Idiocracy

[@demo2823]

@@Grauenwolf I've had vacuum packed carrots and it really doesn't keep them fresh, the outside becomes fluffy and dry like a baby carrot in normal packaging, and the inside has an off sweetness like the sugars are breaking down into alcohols.

[@biohazardlnfS]

The juice in stores can be as much as 6 months old actually

[@ButterflyScarlet]

​@@biohazardlnfSbuy fresh fruit and a juicer

[@GnrMilligan]

"It's like installing HDMI ports on a tyre!" Brilliant!

[@SirRipster]

I remember wanting a coolest cooler when I was younger. it's such a shame what the product was/became. I'll be honest, if they had stuck to a simpler design that only had 2 or 3 of the fetaures it probably would have been better and actually have worked.

[@MindfulAttraction]

Wow 500k . I remember when it was just 60k

[@germanogirardelli]

I was there when he reopened the channel after closing coffebreak. Never understood why he did that but ain't gonna complain.

[@MedicineofSound]

I saw him at 10k and I was surprised how good he was, then learned way later he already had Coffee Break! My man found a new niche and has been rockin it 👏

[@mattd2026]

Quit leeching

[@khailils446]

Same, I used to watch coffee break, but I honestly didn't realize it was a separate channel

[@DoseOfVirality]

Mans a FUCKING LEGEND!!

[@ChrisCrond]

Elizabeth Holmes isn't just creepy, she legit triggers my brain/body to go in full defence mode when I see her talk. She is a psychopath... or I am just crazy myself 😂

[@blakksheep736]

I think she mostly just holds her eyes too wide and talks in that fake deep voice. The combination is very unnatural, and the pure white background and the lights reflecting in her eyes do not help at all. She looks simulated, like an incomplete render. You feel like you're being addressed by a robot.

[@fart63]

She genuinely makes me feel fear

[@andyb2028]

She's probably a psychopath and a narcissist

[@fall190]

@@fart63 Has a Zucc vibe to her.

[@andreyradchenko8200]

Masquerade breach.

[@santiagosos4173]

In my country the laptop did work. Of course with a battery and a Charger. The government gave each child a laptop so long they were students in a public school. The plan actually worked.

[@rhyswilliams4893]

I think he's suffering from the old if it failed in the US it didn't work complex.

[@Canev821]

It’s just being spoiled in some countries

[@basil6060]

okay the combination of the ring light reflection in that lady’s eyes, way too light of under eye concealer contrasted with her eyes heavily outlined by black and then the intense wide eyed stare…. she looks insane.

[@Glmorrs1]

I need me one of those Theranos Minilabs! I used to be an EMT and now I’m a lab tech, and from the get-go I knew it was too good to be true. She was promising things that were literally impossible to do with one drop of blood .

[@whitehuayra]

Apparently there's some more new theranos drama lately. Hope zilla does a vid on it lol

[@DocBree13]

My mom was an ASCP lab technologist and had the same opinion that you did

[@mapachem4828]

Everybody who knows how those tests work had the same opinion. Her teachers told her so, million times but to no avail.

[@hankisdank1]

It’s amazing how much money people invested without consulting literally any healthcare professional

[@nthgth]

I can't see that word and not think of Thanos

[@jackofallglass165]

theranose lady would literally intentionally try and make her voice deeper during confrences and interviews because her dad told her deep voices have more presence, wich she used to try and scam investors... fing weird

[@neeneko]

that is not actually that unusual, esp if you go back a generation or so. I've known a bunch of women over the years who worked to either raise or lower their voice since voice training used to be part of how women executives tried to improve their chances.

[@adrienneczerni6516]

I'm cis (I was born a woman and want to be seen as a woman) but I still did voice training to be able to talk differently to be more accepted at school and work. Not saying American women are the most oppressed people ever of course, we have it pretty easy, but sometimes shit's just easier if you lean into silly nonsense rules

[@danielearnshaw8392]

@@adrienneczerni6516 so... You're a normal woman

[@adrienneczerni6516]

@@danielearnshaw8392 Yeah I suppose most women do voice training. It sucks

[@testacals]

@@adrienneczerni6516 at school ? why ? I see the point in deepening your voice in work to be authoritative but I don't see why would anyone do that at school. " sometimes shit's just easier if you lean into silly nonsense rules" sadly people have biases regarding deep and high voices. Hopefully they change in the future.

[@Stinoco]

13:54 we still have an NGO distributing “One computer per child” laptops and giving them maintenance. Didn’t know they were dead 😅

[@jessem3149]

Elizabeth Holmes is so damn creepy. Her and Zuckerberg could make one of the best scary movies of all time and they would only need to be filmed together being themselves.

[@cheechalker8430]

“Open the pod door, Jibo (Hal)” “I can’t do that Dave …..”

[@V0YAG3R]

Pined by Cōffezillā no

[@nap163020]

11:38 - Those eyes are scarier than my sleep paralysis demons.

[@kwinzman]

OLPC wasn't too bad, shipped 3 million units and actually made an impact on the industry. That's a far cry of what Theranos did.

[@pandamarshmallow8081]

9:05 these are your things, this is you’re house, this is you’re local up adress

[@nikushim6665]

To be fair though the juicero, internally was insanely over-engineered with really good machined steel parts. Sadly all it did was squish a veggie pulp bag and scan a QR code. Had they just used that same level of over engineering and made a normal Juicer. Instead of trying to apply the razor and blade tactic to it. it would of probably sold like crazy as a high end product.

[@blakksheep736]

Here's the thing though. There were no fruits inside. They had already made the juice and put it in the bag. You could just cut it open with a pair of scissors and pour it out. All they did was reinvent bottled juice. Badly.

[@Levyafan]

@@blakksheep736 apparently there WAS fruit in there, albeit very ground up. it still sucked ass though.

[@ferretyluv]

And steal your information. It required an app to use. It was the golden age of IOT and making everything app enabled, even if it didn’t need to be, because that’s what venture capitalists want to hear.

[@krombopulos_michael]

Jibo looks like it's main issue was that it was directly competing with massive companies and not really trying anything different to them. If you're a startup, you need some kind of angle or new idea that makes you better than what already exists. Otherwise there is no possible way to compete with the way bigger companies who have massive resources and economies of scale.

[@StirlingPlays]

I had a jibo and that shit was haunted. It would random spin it’s head over and over and ask if I wanted to play a game

[@karanamrok3567]

@@StirlingPlays kinda creepy lol ahah

[@MRJMXHD]

@@StirlingPlays sounds like fun tbf

[@thevalorousdong7675]

"New ideas" are the reason so many of these fail.

[@docavar5698]

Jibo was supposed to be more of a social robot than that of an assistant, but prices and the eventual practical uses of bots like Alexa made Jibo obsolete unfortunately 😕

[@imip1984]

Omg, I had the one laptop per child program at my school, in Australia. I had to do courses on it and learn the programs (As a teacher, not a student). It had basic coding in it and other stuff but I only remember the coding program with the turtle.

[@notbill666]

Not too sure but i think the program youre talking about was the python turtle thing!! I remember learning it too

[@christophhenninger6440]

There is a logo-version on it? Hey, I made my first tries at programming on one of those. Of course that was in the eighties.

[@chickkeys]

I like that Ann is supposed to be this demented grandma, but she looks like she is about to hit the club...

[@jamesfears8940]

It’s like installing HDMI ports into your tire -Coffeezilla

[@digitalassetsinvestorrepli2964]

F•O•R•• M•O•R•E•• P•R•O•F•I•T•• A•N•D•• I•N•V•E•S•T•M•E•N•T•• W•H•A•T•S•A•P•P +.1•6•0•9•3•7•9•3•1•6•5•••

[@Lombwolf]

LMAO

[@thatcopenguy]

Car manufacturers installing wireless tire pressure monitors :

[@tylerdurden3618]

Impractical jokers did that although it was a USB lol

[@zvxcvxcz]

Man, I wish my tires had HDMI ports... I've got these LCD hubcaps and the VGA ports are limiting the resolution. LMAO.

[@Negritis]

5:40 actually the pen changed a lot in the last 2 hundred years, feathers- steel point - fountain - ballpoint (1888) But mainly small iterations on the last 130

[@voidsauce2616]

And, in 1965, the Fisher *Space Pen* was invented, allowing a ballpoint to write at any angle, in 0g, underwater, through grease, and extreme temperature ranges!

[@juandomingoperon828]

But the first popular was Biró''s Design in mid 1900

[@karmageddon9856]

But does your pen have ✨wi-fi✨ thooo?

[@niels745]

Litteraly there’s juice in my veins. Liver king entered the chat

[@noajurcevic]

11:35 not gonna lie, it reminds me of Zuckerberg, but in female

[@suedenim]

Did Theranos girl purposely shine a specialized light in her eyes to make them reflect like that?

[@FG-td4vs]

No, she's just a creepy android

[@dimman77]

Ring lights on cameras have a similar, yet way less creepy, effect on eye reflections.

[@nolo3]

She didn’t blink even once. Absolutely terrifying.

[@MrChronicali]

Ring light haha

[@dylanfarnum4121]

The ring light creates the reflection of the ring in her eyes, her eyes looking creepy are just because she's weird af and she intentionally doesn't blink

[@Kelekona]

Basically everyone in Silicon Valley are the types that think "The Homer" is a very well designed car

[@Banzai51]

Silicon Valley has become a parody of itself.

[@theultimatereductionist7592]

Wait.. it isn't? :)

[@WoolyWhiteRhinoTV]

16:44 the moment Coffeezilla realised it was a scam

[@blidnet9180]

The little robot Jibo is really cool, I liked it. I am glad to see that it's having a second life with the new owners.

[@Yo-Rick-JG]

Fun fact is, I believe those are the same laptops that the government of Uruguay started giving away to every kid and teen here as part of a technological program that seemed to have been a success. I believe are those exact laptops as they are called "xo" here which is exactly the logo those laptops have.

[@0Synergy]

Huh neato.

[@T..C..M]

Come to think of it, has anyone ever seen Elizabeth Holmes and Mark Zuckerberg in the same place, at the same time?!?

[@anitachamberlain3391]

It's him in a wig

[@davidtaylor6124]

It would have been a hell of a marriage!

[@ForwardBias]

This video popped up in my feed, decided to look up the theranos stuff... Elizabeth just got sentenced to 11 years in prison 💀

[@hbicgrizzly8212]

16:25 hahahahah cant see the laptop due to the greenscreen thats great lolol

[@Shaheer4771]

11:34 female mark Zuckerberg

[@siaa7078]

it actually scared me

[@andychow5509]

Juicero would have loved if you just bought the packets. See, they sold the juicero at a loss of at least $400 a unit. It was like selling a printer at a loss because the ink is so profitable. AvE dismantled one and found it was top machined parts. Unfortunately they turned out to not be so hackable, at least not easily. It was a silent 10+ ton press.

[@HankHill1]

@Raghav Dinesh different business model

[@kali6651]

@@HankHill1 That's what he's saying. They should have just sold juice in bottles. Not even bothers with the machine.

[@Ansalion]

How the hell did they manage to make a machine whose only job is to squeeze a package that expensive?

[@andychow5509]

@@Ansalion It's a silent 10-ton press that can sit on your counter. So there's that. But also dismantling it, it was obvious no expense was spared. Every part was custom, every metal part was machined ($$$), not cast or stamped.

[@henrylam92]

Yeah they thought they could pull a Gillette or electronic toothbrush move (oral-b/sonic) but what ruined it was that this “presser” was not necessary to get the juice

[@patron8597]

When I first saw the Juicero ad, I honestly thought it was a skit.

[@Me-dp9jz]

If you’re from Silicon Valley, remember this phrase ‘’if it ain’t broke don’t fix it”.

[@dwkvideos]

500k congrats broski.

[@robertsonfarm1284]

People suffer because of ignorance and fear, I bless the day I met this kind gentleman named sir Barry Silbert from NewYork City, who is a professional crypto and forex trader who helped change my financial status. At first I thought it was all a lie until he flipped my first investment of $1k to $13k just in a week, after then I have been investing heavily with him and getting good weekly returns.

[@hillrock2551]

If everybody in the world can take Crypto investments very serious I think the world will be a better place because everyone will be at the benefiting side

[@modfavour3586]

Prof Barry Silbert has proven to be a wonderful investor over the years and now this wonderful scheme of helping others is an opportunity we all shouldn't mess with

[@moganpalm9387]

,,,.Your story looks a little similar like mine, my husband is a truck driver and am a house wife, but during a little research online, I was able to find a means of income even at home, i got to know of a professional Crypto broker Sir Barry Silbert, who invested with just $1000 and started making profits every week and my husband got to find out and was really happy with me and also started investing with him too.

[@davidcents961]

At first when I heard about investing with Mr Barry I didn't believe it until my friend got his profits within a week. I was moved to join the moving train

[@CrazyK9Time]

I think the reason elizabeth comes off so creepy is because I think we all have to some degree a gut feeling when we know something is off. Which makes sense because her whole persona is fabricated. Idk about anyone else but when I heard her voice the first time I immediately could tell it was fake, and you just realize how much of her appearance or public person is carefully curated to decieve you. She gives me the same vibes I get watching interviews with murderous sociopaths

[@devilchomps3295]

On top of that, I don't know if its the make up or her blue eyes...but her eyes are HUGE. Like buy eye huge. It’s weird

[@oz_jones]

@@devilchomps3295 im 100% certain theyre contacts. Her voice is also quite unique.

[@sailormatlac9114]

@@devilchomps3295 It's the make up that blow things out of proportion. When you look at recent pictures of her without the clown make up, she look relatively normal, though her eyes are still quite deep blue.

[@sylvivincello1556]

She's creepy cuz she hasn't blinked once in that video. 😓

[@tacobanana6538]

Nah she’s just creepy because she doesn’t look like she can understand that humans blink

[@how_is_you_day_going]

9:54Remember when coffee had a robot bartender guy that I totally didn’t forget the name of. Hmm good times

[@jstar3382]

Maxwell has returned

[@porteal8986]

that laptop actually has the lowest power usage of any laptop I believe, and some of it's unique, if over ambitious, features are pretty impressive. I wish I still had the one I had as a kid. Slow as hell though

[@thevalorousdong7675]

Ok, i can power a 2 watt bulb with a lemon. Does that low power usage also impress you?

[@porteal8986]

@@thevalorousdong7675 my point is that even though it was underpowered, it pretty capable given the power it consumed. The fact that they even considered using a hand crank to power it shows how unique it's power usage is; no other computer with its capabilities can do that as far as I'm aware

[@nthgth]

@@porteal8986 whatever processor and RAM it had, which enabled its super low power consumption, should still be available to you and anyone else who'd like it. I highly doubt they were proprietary lol

[@hakanwestergren9363]

@@porteal8986 They just needed to externalize the crank and add the possibility of solar. Making the crank part of the laptop is as silly as those old TV/VCR combos.

[@porteal8986]

@@hakanwestergren9363 the crank was not a part of the laptop

[@theapplianceengineer]

Over 500,000 subs! Great achievement Coffee!! 💪🏻

[@daveg7516]

And I’m happy to be one 😁 this guy offers a public service 🚒

[@yogibairagi6354]

Yeah man, I've been watching him since he was a beardless kid with only a few thousand subscribers. He's been one-shotting scammers like the Larry in The Slap.

[@digitalassetsinvestorrepli2964]

@@yogibairagi6354 F•O•R•• M•O•R•E•• P•R•O•F•I•T•• A•N•D•• I•N•V•E•S•T•M•E•N•T•• W•H•A•T•S•A•P•P +.1•6•0•9•3•7•9•3•1•6•5••

[@l4m41987]

actually exactly 500k

[@gringa978]

Woot woot!!

[@blastbeatinc]

Like watching a very polite idubbbz 8 years later

[@blinkingred]

Not gonna lie. I wouldn't mind having a Coolest Cooler

[@Kaanfight]

It’s much more mundane compared to the evil that is Theranos. It’s cute almost.

[@MrChronicali]

Honestly like slap some solar panels on that bad boy and you got everything you need

[@Glmorrs1]

I mean, a cooler with a built in blender, Bluetooth speaker, and portable charger? Who wouldn’t want one?

[@tylerbrown4483]

@@Glmorrs1 anyone who owns a backpack?

[@exMuteKid]

@@Glmorrs1 solar panels are not magic generators, you'd need a much bigger panel to make any kind of real difference, plus I don't trust that if you leave it on hot sand on a sunny day that the lithium batteries won't explode

[@brothermichael8338]

11:29 those are the eyes you see right before you get killed by the snake that's lunging at you

[@madeline3868]

That one juicero asmr-esque video lives in my head rent free

[@csnipper524]

The Theranos ad reminds of of those movies where the villian has just took over the world and they are doing a world broadcast. It screams "you should definitely be running away right now".

[@bigbrothertw]

doctor breen

[@seanmccarthy1017]

Why does the Jibo ad feel like the start to a possibly great horror movie

[@exMuteKid]

Because it's reminding you of that black mirror episode with the talking robot

[@brethitmanhart275]

2 videos in 12 hours. You are on fire!