Roboute Guiliman Can't Understand The Imperial Cult

[@tommymaximum9084]

"But the sky's on fire and it's the best I can come up with." That is the best description of a tech priest ever.

[@AThousandD]

That's not a tech-priest. The symbol on the robe identifies him as a member of the Adeptus Administratum.

[@nyet_maker7948]

Or any politician ever

[@cautiouslycynical9786]

@@nyet_maker7948 It got me thinking about the half assed measures regarding climate change.

[@Hyndergogen9]

@@cautiouslycynical9786 ... That's because that's what it's based on.

[@cautiouslycynical9786]

@@Hyndergogen9 Ah, then that makes perfect sense. Sorry, didn't see the original sketch.

[@andy_robertson]

"It's a proper shambles" The 41st millennium in a nutshell

[@sarinat3101]

I'm in the middle of Prospero Burns and I can confirm it was true in the 31st as well.

[@anametoignore2286]

In the dark future of the 40 first millennium, things are a right bit wankered

[@jeffgoode9865]

This millennium, as well.

[@sharemation5339]

When Guiliman woke up and asked "Hows Imperium of man doing?"

[@docterfantazmo]

*Bloodthirster:* "Blood for the blood god! Skulls for the skull thro- oh bloody hell, they've sorted their cardboard correctly, not a pizza box in sight... pack it up boys." *Herald:* "They've put lightbulbs in with standard glass." *Bloodthirster:* "SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!"

[@freakishuproar1168]

When I'm trying to sleep tonight, I'll be lying there thinking about how the source of Khorne's perpetual rage is the fact that the inhabitants of the mortal realms aren't sorting their recyclable rubbish properly.

[@TheOneWhoMightBe]

@@freakishuproar1168 This is now my headcanon.

[@Sgt_Glory]

I legit loled, thank you for that 🤣

[@HansLemurson]

Skulls go on the Skull throne, and Blood is dedicated to the Blood God. Even Bloodthirsters understand the value of sorting items into their proper place.

[@martinfiedler4317]

@@HansLemurson Now we only need to clarify if a) sorting rubbish is secret Chaos worship OR b) Khorne is in secret a traitor to Chaos

[@sanguinius3938]

Guilliman, what the fuck are these Lords of Terra talking about? inquisitor: bureaucratic stuff Guilliman: okay, kill them all

[@HTWW]

Guilliman is kinda the last one to execute people for being bureaucrats. It's the inefficiency that offends him. So, methinks it'd be more like this: inquisitor: bureaucratic stuff Guilliman: Okay, but why isn't anything being done? ... Inquisitor: Alright, you got me. It's not just bureaucracy, it's mostly self-serving bullshit. Also, like half of them are conspiring to depose you. Guilliman: okay, kill them all

[@12SickOne34]

Since the Lion is here, I'd think the "kill'em all!", is more in his style. Bobby G is a little bit to diplomatic for this, I am afraid. Let the Beast do the dirty work

[@HTWW]

@@12SickOne34 Guilliman: Fn dropping the formalities! Lioooon! Lion: Whaaaaat? Guilliman: Go for a walk.

[@JakeSmith-em5sh]

​@Hohmann Transfer Window Washer I have seen a seemingly sudden and ridiculous number of these references pop up lately. Has TFS released some new abridged stuff or something?

[@HTWW]

@@JakeSmith-em5sh I'm going to have to admit to actively sowing some of these misplaced referencing seeds myself. No, they haven't, at least not to my knowledge. I simply find these 'skits' enjoyable. Also (again, for now), until body of 40k Lion lore grows sufficiently, I'm treating his return with more than a little bit of contempt, much like I did with Guilliman's. Hence the lackadaisical referencing. I am enjoying the deluge of new vids like this one, though. And this one specifically is extra good.

[@greatpurplecroctopus]

"Look at the sky, it looks like a smashed cake! The gods are huffing bonkers! We need to dedicate some of our precious time to a futile and time consuming ritual."

[@AAllen-br8it]

It's too perfect.

[@XHobbiesPrime]

Ah Sky Cake, why are you so delicious....

[@timmyteehee9490]

@@XHobbiesPrime The forbidden cake

[@bot0643]

"You know the gods, they love all that shite."

[@НиколайЛамберт]

Sounds like a job for economist.

[@ColCoal]

I very much vibe with the declaration, "Yea it's really bad, but it's the best i could come up with."

[@KareiKnight]

Now I'm imagining their "Are we the baddies?" sketch in 40k.

[@Mortrag]

He has already done it, just watch "Champion of Khorne has an existential crisis".

[@edwinvoncarstein]

Yea it's already on my channel mate

[@RelativelyBest]

I did that joke on the actual "Are we the baddies" video. One of the most popular KZbin comments I've ever made, turns out.

[@KareiKnight]

@@edwinvoncarstein I didn't realize that. I'll check it out.

[@jasperzanovich2504]

The irony is that the Imperium is very much aware of the skulls. It doesn't mean death to them though but humanity.

[@Obviouslyitisomar]

if you imagine the laugh track is the aeldaris reaction its 100xs funnier

[@SableTwoSeven]

The Orks would be laughing too!

[@joriankell1983]

Harlequins...

[@BaalBandit]

Hahaha silly monkeh's

[@TheHuangShan]

There is no need to imagine a laugh track when looking at the space elfs, their whole existence is a joke.

[@joriankell1983]

@@TheHuangShan you sound butthurt. What happened? Did Howling Banshees tear up your gunline?

[@m-w-y7325]

and then Roby G finally realizes the wiseman has been reading one of his brother's books again, the one that now wears spikey armour and has horns coming out the four sides of his head.

[@sunstorm_]

The one whose fault this all is?

[@ezonplays2260]

​@@sunstorm_ Magnus. Its all magnus's fault.

[@dangerousdays2052]

Lorgar tried to fix his mistake by bringing the truth of Chaos to the Imperium, but it was far too late.

[@mordredpendragon1235]

​@Dangerous Days It was a success but in a different way Like worshipping the Emperor as a god

[@henrypaleveda7760]

@@ezonplays2260 different nature of their failures. Magnus had a singly fantastic mistake that cascaded, Lorgar continually worked and sabotaged the purpose that they worked towards.

[@Jaxymann]

The cult leader suggesting sorting the rubbish into seperate bins as a solution to Chaos Warp Storms is ironically more sensible than anything the Imperial Ecclesiarchy has ever come up with. Truly, he is possessed of the wisdom of the God Emperor himself!

[@cousinzeke4888]

Tell that to the sisters of battle with their actual angel and miracles so consistent they can plan around them.

[@michaelwoffindin]

He is WHAT!

[@jennyjohn704]

@@michaelwoffindin He means a religious government. I think he wanted to sound clever by using the word 'ecclesiarchy' instead of being clear.

[@gu8647]

@@jennyjohn704 I think they used the term Ecclesiarchy cause that’s what the religious branch of the Imperial government is often called in 40K.

[@drafezard7315]

@@jennyjohn704 They weren't trying to be clever, that's simply what it's called.

[@meola69420]

If the sky is on fire and you are pissing into the wind, you're going to buy yourself some time!

[@ghironsingh]

The best he could come up with on short notice. 😂😂😂

[@leoprzytuac3660]

That actually sounds like a wise quote

[@TheJerbol]

When the sky's on fire, pissing in the wind sounds like a good idea

[@dangerousdays2052]

But you have to squeeze really hard to get your piss to go high enough to be effective.

[@boobtoobest]

@@dangerousdays2052 this comment. 'really hard' lol

[@TheTruthNEGFTW]

Imperial Priest - "We need to sort our rubbish into seperate bins" Guilliman - "YES, YES, OH BY MY FATHER YES!" *begins feverishly organising all bins in the imperium and drowns the Tyranids in plastic*

[@scratthesquirrel5242]

bobby g, the ocd member of the family

[@randomdude8202]

Nids probably find a way to digest it

[@blakearius]

Collect a Tyranid army and you'll also drown in plastic.

[@Shiftdougler]

Plastic is not a biomass, you’re onto something

[@AutumnOnFire]

The fact that Webb even has the Civic Crown on is PERFECT

[@jlb7608]

The guy Guilliman is talking to is an Administratum clerk, not a member of the Ecclesiarchy. But I guess the fact that it's hard to tell an accountant from a priest in the imperium is pretty funny too.

[@bencurran3204]

"Pissing in the wind" definition of Imperial attempts in Imperial Nylus

[@PeterMcleod117]

This somehow manages to sum up how the imperium works perfectly.

[@HrHaakon]

Yes, with the addendum that it actually *works*.

[@Alzir-n9m]

​@@HrHaakon*air quotes*

[@koboldprime2257]

I can't believe how well this fits. Feels like a "cannon" conversation.

[@hieioni3354]

Canon*

[@tomfoolery7797]

@@hieioni3354 Canoe*

[@WoodImp]

Genuinely reminded me it's bin night

[@PaulTheadra]

same here in Las Vegas, lol

[@edwinvoncarstein]

Stop editing for a second and segregate your bins mate!

[@DaFinkingOrk]

Make sure to take the metal lids off any glass jars and sort them accordingly or you'll doom us all!!!

[@WoodImp]

@@edwinvoncarstein It's something to do while after effects tries to melt my cpu during rendering

[@jimdotcom1972]

fuck, i saw this on a monday morning

[@rickeyheard4454]

he makes a fair ass point

[@Kylephibbsky]

I really thought this would be the Vectron skit, with Roboute increasingly confused about why everyone keeps worshipping his father despite that being explicitly against his instruction.

[@jamesbrice3267]

That would be a Life of Brian moment.

[@justyagre6296]

After only a single day of sorting the rubbish, the Eye of Terror did indeed shut close.

[@SadGinseng]

Gulliman wasn't at work last Wednesday and now everything is talking about this "god emperor".

[@jonsnow7586]

By the God-Emperor's knees, let's crack open the chablis!

[@HansLemurson]

By the Emperor's golden wings, haven't you heard?

[@CABALlc1]

Greetings, by the Emperor's kindly power claw...

[@Hangman11]

I cant believe the emperor Was the Bay Harbour Butcher all along

[@jesusisherelookbusy]

"Tell you what Guilliman, that Warp dust is really moreish."

[@Its_Cannon]

We have The Emperor and Malcador at home The Emperor and Malcador at home:

[@Biodeamon]

You'd think that gulliman would be all about sorting the rubbish in different bins considering how much he loves logistics

[@elagrion]

That Mitchell and Webb Look - S03E04 at about 18 minutes in

[@D00M3R-SK8]

This is the best one of these I've seen, it's proper legit. "the sky looks like a smashed cake" :'D

[@bot0643]

you know...this works, on alot of levels, and gave me a good laugh. Well done!

[@AndersonClips]

this is how every conversation with guiliman and Mathew went

[@MrMortull]

It hurts how slim the satire is, here.

[@thehowlingjoker]

As if Guilliman wasn't already seperating the rubbish in Ultramar.

[@Frerichs1962]

The worst part is, he's right.

[@blackoutninja]

Love that you used the half-life screaming voices for the warp

[@flyingrancidm00nfish7]

Its quite a good start, it would make Nurgle think twice about going to a planet that is too clean

[@CABALlc1]

This has to be one of the most perfect fits.

[@BlueGoblin1]

The sorting begins, and the sister's faith in the task causes a miracle to occur that saves everybody's ass. Roboute is slack-jawed with a face of shock and disgust. While the Black Templars are screaming fanatical praises in the background.

[@Rytonic69]

"My Lord, the galaxy is literally cut in half and we can't tell what's going on in the other half, not sure what you expect me to do"

[@imintheraindripdripdrop]

To quote a certain deranged skeleton. "Know my pain."

[@TheNightWatcher1385]

“A giant head in the sky is controlling the weather. Did you wanna play checkers?! Let’s be rational!”

[@kennethclark4599]

Nope. This wise man makes sense compared to the Imperium.

[@keegobricks9734]

I love the bluntness of it. "Yeah, I know this probably isn't going to work, but all signs point to our imminent death. So I figure we better try something."

[@theliato3809]

The gods being distracted by tedious little tasks is probably a solid strategy to getting some reprieve from their usual bs.

[@Jaxymann]

I like to imagine that if the Peep Show characters were each a faction in 40K, Super Hans would be so much of a coke-snorting lunatic he'd make even the Drukhari uncomfortable.

[@Hiihtopipa]

This isn't from peep show though, it's a great comedy though. "The answer is crime" :D love hans

[@daverage4729]

I just love the idea of Roboute Guilliman describing the Imperial Cult as 'Pissing in the wind!'

[@miriam5047]

I think Big Bobby G would actually prefer this guy to what the Ecclesiarchy has on offer.

[@offtankgaming1310]

This is one of your best - seamless matchup

[@JustinShaedo]

Whoa. Respect on both the idea and the execution here.

[@LaMarcheFutilé101]

When the sky is on fire, pissing in the wind is your best bet to put it out.

[@psychshift]

"skys on fire and its the best i can come up with" sums up the imperiium.

[@hectorwilson663]

Truly not a crossover I ever expected to see

[@swolie]

"It's VERY pissing in the wind"

[@HansLemurson]

Oh, the "Vectron" sketch would also be fertile ground for Guilliman not quite understanding where the whole "worship the emperor like a god" thing came from.

[@StandardGoose]

I thought from the thumbnail that this was going to the "For Vectron" sketch, but this is pretty good.

[@dmitriminer435]

The fucked up part is when it works and Guilliman has to go back to the throneroom to ask the emperor what the hell that was all about.

[@PsychopathUltimate]

40K parody aside, this is brilliant satire.

[@averybishopmartin6964]

That is probably the most sincere Imperial Priest I've ever seen.

[@J_A_Niss]

"LOOK AT THE SKY! IT LOOKS LIKE A SMASHED CAKE! THE GODS ARE HOPPING BONKERS" is so lore accurate it's insane

[@viyunia]

I am laughing so hard right now. This is genius in a lore accurate way.. :D

[@Joshywoshyngton]

The VECTRON sketch would have suited perfectly, as well

[@tilly4273]

Congratulations you don't need to read any of the new stuff with Guiliman in it. This was it. This was the books.

[@tylerpatti9038]

You know gods they love all that shit! That was the line that got me.

[@wolvo5441]

Unironically Guilliman would probably like sorting out recycling like that

[@kerwinbrown4180]

This sounds like the last few years. Interesting times!

[@covahredro8370]

Take it from the Orks, if you believe it works it will.

[@nema151]

If the sky is on fire might as well piss in the wind....

[@manw3bttcks]

The idea of Primarch R. Gulliman saying "pissing in the wind" ....priceless

[@Forklift_Certified_]

Best one I’ve seen

[@the98themperoroftheholybri33]

I feel like the "Vectron" sketch would've worked better for Guilliman.

[@raideurng2508]

These are dark days...

[@altiusempyreum1684]

Shameless how I could watch these all day

[@Seallypoops]

"I've got it, we should send more of the guardsmen into the eye, that'll solve it"

[@nakenmil]

Techincally, that's an Administratum Adept (hence the lowercase a), not anyone associated with the Ecclesiarchy/Adeptus Ministorum/Imperial Cult, although, obviously, most Administratum are believers in, if not priests of, the Cult.

[@odiedodieuk]

It’s very pissing in the wind 😂

[@GreySectoid]

🤣🤣🤣 best punchline ever

[@bobbobertbobberton1073]

You should do one of Your Highness, the bit where he finds the bone sword, would work with Abaddon finding Drach'nyen.

[@Kn1ghtborne]

I'll understand the entire context of Warhammer in no time with this format

[@changer_of_ways_999]

You could have a video every daay fo the next 40,000 years with just using Mitchell and Webb

[@Sorine9]

I am so happy to discover Warhammer 40k through laughter and memes

[@KaikuPen]

I imagine the chaos equivalent is a Heretic Space Marine being told by a sorcerer to add more spikes and skulls to his armor. "You know, just look evil, n'shit..."

[@lanmassingill9180]

Grimdark solutions in a nutshell.....

[@edparkes9659]

Thought this was going to be the "By Vectron!" Sketch

[@tjbarke6086]

Galaxy in 40k: "It's a proper shambles"

[@victorvondroom]

I can't stop watching this

[@diegomireles1773]

so according to 40k lore this is the future huimanity takes if the british became the ruling group of earth

[@kennymartin5976]

Imagine being transported ten thousand years into the future only to find out all of humanity worships your father.

[@TobiiVII]

I was expecting this to be the 'Hail Vectron' sketch tbh

[@maew150]

Given the state of the 40k galaxy and all the weird shit the regularly happens, this idea legit could actually work.

[@ghengilhar]

Mitchell and Webb is fertile 40k meme potential written all over it.

[@eg_manifest510]

If you piss into the wind enough then some of it might blow into the sky and stop the fire

[@retrorabbit1832]

It will probably actually work via the Emperors influence and mankinds Faith. But some backwater/chaos influenced priest will forget or flub sorting one bin and the world will start ending all over again and no one will no why

[@BiddiesIsAvailable]

This is art

[@flamingcroatan3739]

Yurp, that's what they're best at, pissing in the wind

[@JR-rv3xr]

Ah That Mitchell and Webb look, we meet again old friend!

[@Nexus-6]

"It's a proper shambles". aka the Infinite Dark.. 😅

[@HarryRedders]

I thought it was going to be the "are we the baddies" sketch :)

[@Smok3yR1der]

I forget WH40K is a British thing until something like this comes along

[@chocolito9461]

If the sky was on fire I would also piss on the wind

[@HereticDuo]

surprisingly this is 100% lore accurate. the Administratum would indeed try to solve existential threats with even more bureaucracy, new rules and extreme litigation over mundane tasks.

[@AlienBmxican]

Ahh Rabooty Guiltyman

[@stuartlittledrowning4965]

Its tzeench laughing in the background