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Baby steps, a win is a win. I didn't do it but I still sinned. Moving forward I know better. But I also feel like the man of God who is for me wouldn't want to touch me. He would respect me and honor me on a whole new level. He would be on the same page as me mentally and physically. Because lord it's been MONTHS and I am WEAK. I'm just being honest and sharing my journey. My mindset and how I feel about a man touching me and not being my husband doesn't get me off to be honest. I think I realized after he left that I just want it and that It's not hard turning someone down. It's me vs my own flesh. Which hasn't been hard because I've been very careful with the things I watch, listen to, and environment. So as I walk this journey that's just another boundary I'm adding to the list. No touching. I find it's easier to fall for temptation and sin when you don't set boundaries.
I'm proud of myself for uninviting him to my house next week. The man who is for me is seeking something serious that leads to marriage. And I'm not giving my time for free. Even if it includes dates, and trips, and etc I'm still declining. I desire someone real and authentic. Who's for me and for me only. Where we're both on the same page. Only talking to each other and getting to know each other. Where in a world of people who are afraid to get hurt or be vulnerable. I need someone who is little afraid just like me but is still willing to open up and try again. I hope along your journey you remain strong and stay patient until the right man or woman passes you by. I do plan on putting myself out there but right now I'm just focusing on God. I will continue to embrace the lessons and learn as I go. It's only preparing me for what's to come.
I highly recommend watching until the end. Thank me later. Have a blessed Saturday. Stay safe. Stay consistent. Keep your faith.
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