Roots and wings: letting go of our adult kids

[@andrewdewitt7234]

Roots and wings - l love that idea!

[@williamlopez3910]

Great video, I love the Roots & Wings analogy. I’ll be coming back to this often for reminders. My son is 48 years old and he often randomly calls, sometimes at odd hours, of course I have my mini panic moments wondering “What’s wrong?” And just as quickly he’ll say, “Dad, I just wanted to check in to say thank you and I love you” So it seems that my little bird needs to check in to feel grounded.❤️ Since 2018 Sandy and I have had the honor and pleasure of coaching the Mount Academy girls volleyball team, which means we have tons of daughters. Every year we lose a few to graduation, it’s always hard to watch them leave, but so exciting to know that they are going off into the world to leave their mark, to plant their seeds, to serve others in some way. So many stay in touch, I’m always receiving messages via text, Messenger, Instagram, WhatsApp or Twitter, so now I’m getting calls and messages from my daughters as well as my son because they need a little Hurdle Help, sometimes it’s just because they suddenly remembered something that happened years ago on the volleyball court, and it made them laugh or reflect. Always nice to know that the seeds have taken root and our family is flourishing. Bill & Sandy Mount Academy Volleyball

[@DuoDownUnder]

Thanks so much for these thoughts, Bill & Sandy. Can totally identify with that "mini panic" when "kids" check in at random...just to say "I love you." Beautiful. It makes us so happy to know you have many adopted daughters courtesy of the Mount volleyball. That is one of the lasting rewards that youth sports creates (win, lose or draw). Sending our love from Australia, and - go, Eagles!! 💛

[@gillianhatters6613]

This video was so perfect for me, having just had a new grand baby to love and to nurture. As a grand parent I feel we can look back at both our parenting mistakes, and what we did well in our parenting, and this wisdom is a true blessing. For me the benefit of having adult children means we can speak to them with a greater degree of wisdom and honesty than what was previously possible. Nothing brings greater joy, it’s an opportunity to see that you did a good job, kind of like visiting the most beautiful and precious parts of your life.

[@DuoDownUnder]

Congratulations, dear Gillian, on your new grandchild - and welcome to the world, little one. What a precious gift to your family! Thank you too for sharing your wisdom with us. Sending our best wishes to your beautiful family. 💛 Chris & Norann

[@OurFamilyJourney]

Great video. It's difficult being in the season of young children, I'm in the process of growing those strong roots!

[@DuoDownUnder]

We completely understand those challenges. On tough days, remind yourself that you are doing your very best every single day, which is all anyone can do. Like you say, nurturing roots (and wings) is a process. Wishing you and your family every good blessing!

[@melfros7100]

You are doing a much better job these days of letting your children decide for themselves where their lives will take them. You seem to have come to a place where you accept that not every Bruderhof-raised child will become a member. You now distinguish between becoming Christian and becoming a Bruderhof member. That is good. As one born on the Bruderhof long, long ago, I now speak as a parent of two loving adult children. The following lovely, difficult, encouraging words come to mind: “Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.” ― Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

[@DuoDownUnder]

Thanks, Mel. We love those thoughts from Gibran, too. Also this part: You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. (We thought about using some of that in the video, but it was long enough already 😄.) Wishing you and your family every blessing. C&N

[@timsanker1144]

Our last one just left the nest for college, we are empty nesters. I think it's timely, my wife I think is feeling it more so than I am.

[@DuoDownUnder]

The very best to you both as you adjust and move forward together. 🙏