Roses are red

Roses are red,
if you subscribed I'd be glad.
But you don't have to do what I say,
I mean, who am I, your Dad??

[@mr_inzaine]

Violins are blue

[@mr_inzaine]

No shit violents

[@mr_inzaine]

Mother fucker violets

[@thereisnotenoughlettersformyu]

no they aren’t

[@LeafeonTheCat]

Indeed

[@StupidWith2Ds]

🎻 🟦 Yeah I agree

[@-inFinity05-]

Matt Rose is the perfect way to procrastinate! Thank you good sir.

[@Matt_Rose]

No worries! Now get back to whatever you were supposed to be doing!

[@-inFinity05-]

@@Matt_Rose Fine…

[@itookallthenames]

Roses are red violets are blue Matt Rose told me to stop procrastinating it’s 546am Matt let me finish my brew!

[@yeetrepublic9142]

@@Matt_RoseMaybe later...

[@porciwall9261]

Roses are red, violets are blue, I took a wrong step now my legs snapped in two

[@gwensroses-quit]

Imagine if we gave Matt a bunch of crazy would-you-rather’s and he had to sit there for about half an hour answering them all

[@turbo_marc]

skullemoji

[@thegoattrain]

Would you rather have infinite games and no bacon or infinite games games infinite bacon or no games infinite no bacon no games

[@Matt_Rose]

This sounds relevant to your interests kzbin.info/www/bejne/eKjSh5-dZ5mFepY

[@sunnyquinn3888]

Would you rather have infinite vomiting or invincible diarrhea?

[@gwensroses-quit]

⁠@@Matt_RoseThe king of skullemojis himself has replied to me 👀 (The video was very relevant, thank you Matt 👌)

[@Nutella2004]

I love the moose sign in that it implies that an unkillable moose is 5km ahead and they just accepted it and put the sign up as a warning.

[@jasperjazzie]

there's not much else to do besides accept it, they're not dumb or prideful enough to think they can fight the invincible moose

[@18Hongo]

This is the warm-blooded equivalent of the SCP Foundation's "Hard to destroy reptile".

[@chroniclesofoddities8893]

the fact they called it an invincible moose means they attempted to kill it and failed

[@contain_the_Bismarck-i5c]

rose are red my name is not dave i’m bad at poems microwave

[@Fog799]

Average day in alaska and canada

[@AxolBedwars]

Matt Rose's head crumpling the instant it is touched by water is not something I ever thought I'd see but it makes perfect sense

[@Matt_Rose]

I'm made out of candyfloss 🤫

[@RockismyAir]

I somehow believe that very easily.

[@saltygooseundertale7412]

​@@Matt_Rose "Candyfloss?" What are you, some kind of British man??

[@AstralTheNightwing]

@@saltygooseundertale7412 and he talks with that silly accent too! smh my head

[@Blue-Maned_Hawk]

@@saltygooseundertale7412 At least it's not what the french apparently call it. I'd say it also means he might slaughter and process you in order to cross the English channel, but i don't want to get sued for libel.

[@ChaffyExpert]

"Looking for lost frog goes by the name Prince" Sounds like an EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION!

[@charliepappas-rr3rv]

EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION

[@phoebesunbook1737]

*inserts the emergency from situation music*

[@kaz-v2b]

That sounds liks among us

[@Mr._funny2006]

​@@phoebesunbook1737from

[@ImConfused-mi5pq]

EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION

[@josiahtaylor7967]

Petition to make Matt's high-pitched "that was so stupid" into a recognisable meme

[@SamRK-1000]

💀

[@iamwoke322]

Roses are red, i like little pups, *never gonna give you up-*

[@vanadios4480]

SKULL EMOJIIIII

[@DansuB4nsu03]

5:26, in case you're looking for it ;)

[@catswampy]

SIGNED

[@Captain_Maeve]

Violets are green, Matt is our Rose Once these lines are seen You read in rhythmic prose

[@bbloveseevees8984]

Roses are red I don't have a dime I'll be honest fella *DO YA WANNA HAVE A BAD TIME?*

[@Y0uRLoc4lNo0b]

Roses are red, violets are blue, my grandma rises from the dead and will beat me with kung fu

[@Nat_the_Chicken]

Roses are red, I'm reply number three, prose is literally the opposite of this, this is called poetry

[@inquisitorbenediktanders3142]

​@@Nat_the_Chickenroses are red, Violets are blue, I believe that was the jest, But he didn't fool you.

[@cewla3348]

@@Nat_the_Chicken roses are red, im number five; poetry is subjective, you bloody beehive.

[@DevotedOgrim05]

Being banned from the sea really sounds like a curse. Like, they can't just expell you from the entire global ocean, right?

[@derekstryder2281]

Poseidon and Zeus on their way to screw that guy in particular:

[@VortexF]

One Piece be like

[@germanelkapo1]

@@derekstryder2281 Poseidon: You dare underestimate the seas? Zeus: You dare underestimate the winds? Hades: Could you at least get more informed about your chances to survive before trying a stunt like that? I'm quite busy over here. Live a good life if you'd rather be on the Asphodel Meadows than where you'd have headed.

[@nirablackfire2792]

Jokes aside, they can't, a country can only claim so much ocean away from their coast. If someone hits international waters, there's legally nothing they can do to inforce a ban lol.

[@NickAndriadze]

Matt is one of the most unhinged people on the entire platform, I absolutely love both his humor and commentary.

[@ScareSans]

"Invincible moose" is like saying "cold ice." Those things are the goddamn artillery of the animal kingdom. They're like deer, but angrier, more muscular, and the size of a passenger van.

[@loki4807]

and get drunk easily.

[@ScareSans]

@@loki4807 Perpetual drunkenness... Truly the irishmen of the deer family.

[@loki4807]

@@ScareSans Just like the captain.

[@Paleowgh]

Never encountered a moose up here in Canada, and I honestly hope I never do for the exact reasons you've stated.

[@electricay]

​@@Paleowghi might be less terrified if i ran into a bear

[@oscargill423]

Roses are red, tulips are Dutch-er, It's nice when the punchline fits the syllabic structure.

[@llamasugar5478]

Don’t know how I missed this the previous 14x I watched the video . . . _doffs baseball cap and makes a courtly bow_

[@silliestbear]

This is amazing, this is a masterpiece. The poems are so random and hilarious and I love it!

[@Regal2313]

Bro hasn’t even seen the whole thing yet😭

[@EdwardSlayford-jh6og]

Roses are red and violets are blue this British man isn't doo doo

[@mrBrod._.]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAA help

[@mcvenne8935]

From your comment's rhythm, I thought it would rhyme. My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined. 😔

[@GumSkyloard]

They're lovely.

[@konservedpeanuts]

I was eating a banana muffin while watching this. At one point I laughed so hard that I breathed in part of the muffin, I thought I was going to implode. Blood is on your hands Matt, but for separate reasons.

[@SamRK-1000]

Hey, at least you didn’t inhale cracker crumbs into your nose like I have done before when eating saltines and watching Game Grumps…

[@concerningindividual629]

Roses are red, this video was somethin', this man nearly died, while eating a muffin

[@Sprink87]

Roses are red, The second commenter is a snacker, But eventually realized, “Shouldn’t have choked on that cracker.”

[@konservedpeanuts]

@@concerningindividual629 10/10; would've died while reading this if I had a muffin.

[@REIN-carnation]

Roses are red, So is your blood You laughed so hard Your muffin’s in the mud

[@Link-from-hyrule]

1:05 "so what you in for?" "Everything"

[@m.nic.5080]

The mystery croissant animal was actually the funniest thing ever. It happened in Poland, the croissant was thrown out of an apartment window and landed in a tree, and people FREAKED OUT. There was legit panic and no one got close enough to it to get a clear view. To be fair the pictures of it do make it look like some kind of lizard thing if you have a big imagination but it was literally just bread

[@IceCandyVirika]

HAHA YES

[@damlatorun6756]

Average day in poland

[@Xezlec]

When they figured it out, I bet there was a chorus of "kurwa"

[@pecree7933]

I noticed that too

[@louiserocks1]

This reminds me one time, when I was a kid, me and my mum freaked out because there was some long black thing beside the sofa, there was a small gap between the sofa and wall, and not much light got there. (and we didn't have phones with flashlights back then) anyway, we both thought that it was a snake or rat or something, with 100% certainty. And both were freaked out and didn't enter the room for days. We came back a few days later, hoping it had died/starved/weakened by that time, and we could approach it.... Yeah it turned out to be a sock lmao

[@HungryWarden]

Roses are red, Matt Rose’s content is gold. Your catchphrase “SKULLEMOJI” will never get old.

[@Alex-su3hx]

💀

[@tubercomi]

💀

[@BENDYKILLER698]

SKULLEMOJI

[@Cringe_Control_Cameron]

HUMAN HEADBONE EMOJI

[@tubercomi]

@@Cringe_Control_Cameron 💀💀

[@Rosa-Lili]

Why did I read it as "invisible moose next 5 km", which actually brought me here into this amazing video

[@Sylveon2589]

WAIT IT ISN'T INVISIBLE??

[@Rosa-Lili]

@@Sylveon2589 It said "invincible" not "invisible" LMAO

[@xn85d2]

"Invincible moose" is even better because it suggests at least one failed attempt to defeat the moose.

[@artfuldodgerrr]

Roses are red, My head's full of prose, What better way to spend Monday night, Than watching Matt Rose?

[@kibertyisgay]

Woah, that was actually really good.

[@kibertyisgay]

Woah, that was actually really good.

[@RACINGUS95]

1:49 the sheer monotone way Matt says “f*ck off” just killed me 💀

[@MistyInTheCloudz]

he just says it so casually. “oh, f*ck off”

[@Messwiththehonkyougetthebonk]

Yes.

[@Itsgamingtime11-co5kp]

Wait, I know you, but I don’t know from where.

[@cormacmccarthy1889]

Whoever came up with the "Invincible Moose" one is an actual genius "Roses are red, Mercury is in thermometers, INVINCIBLE MOOSE Next five kilometres"

[@astarpixel_]

Wait a minute, what are you doing here?

[@Joybreaker]

So annoyed at myself for not having watched Matt for ages, glad to say that I’m back!

[@mothman_mason]

welcome back m8!!

[@Matt_Rose]

Oh hey there welcome back!

[@SPARTANSIX-1]

@@Matt_Rosemate you’re one of the reasons I’m not fully depressed so thanks for that :D

[@Matt_Rose]

@@SPARTANSIX-1 Glad to help! Stay strong, things'll get better 👍

[@j_cannot_type]

​@Matt_Rose matt ily youre so nice 😭😭😭

[@bandaipleasedontsueme]

4:46 (if this is what i think this article is about) i'm here to add a little bit of context to this! the person who made this vagina kayak is named megumi igarashi, she goes by the pseudonym rokudenashiko (meaning good-for-nothing girl), she's a japanese artist who mostly creates artwork and sculptures based off her vulva. the reason a lot of her artwork is based around her vagina is because in japan, the penis is widely celebrated in an art form (see the kanamara matsuri festival for more information) while the vagina is considered taboo and obscene. while a lot of her work focused around her vulva is infamous as is, the vagina kayak as mentioned in the article. (it's titled man-boat btw, the name comes from the japanese slang word manko, meaning pussy, and the english word boat, referring to the kayak itself.) man-boat was created throughout 2013, and was finally finished and sailed down the tama river in march of 2014. at the event, she emailed the (what i'm assuming) .stl file for man-boat to 65 of her crowdfund supporters who sent her 3,000 or more yen throughout the creation of the man-boat, and gave 17 cd-roms containing the .stl file to others. she got arrested on july of the same year, not for sailing down the tama river, but for distributing the (again, only assuming here, folks) .stl file. she spent a week in jail and got out soon after. she was then arrested again in december of that year for showing off decorated dioramas of her vulva (which she calls deco-man) at a sex shop. the owner of said sex shop was also arrested and later released. rokudenashiko was held in the prison for nearly a month and was released on december 28th, on bail, which led to her trial in april of 2015. the court arrived to a verdict in may: not guilty for sailing the man-boat down the tama river, but guilty for distributing the .stl files. (she had to pay a 400,000 yen fine because of this, which is about 3660 usd.) how do i know all this? well, her article was on wikipedia's unusual articles list, of course! (i also mainly got the information of this comment from said wikipedia article)

[@jimboned]

i remember seeing something about this !! i knew the article title sounded familiar

[@kryw10]

That actually is fascinating.

[@1Thunderfire]

Gotta love the double standards. Penis = good, vagina = bad?

[@giorgospapoutsakis5271]

That's probably the most weird stories I've heard maybe ever,this one definitely stands out in the entire video

[@g00dbunny]

i aint reading allat

[@trinityevechandler5801]

Roses are red, violets are purple. Are you aware that there is a Pokémon called Wurmple?

[@everdale_stormz]

Yes Yes I am

[@kaidabronks]

Matt getting EXTRA British when exposed to water is something to take note of when he tries to toast your bread in your dreams.

[@Logitah]

You always make me laugh in weird ways. This time I sounded like a chair being moved.

[@charliepappas-rr3rv]

4:20 guys i think we have an EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION

[@coolrex69]

🐸🐸🐸🐸

[@Friendly-Neighborhood-Asexual]

*Bonetrousle intensifies*

[@KomOnsLees]

With all the nonsense he has pronounced perfectly, I think that matrix meme is the first time I've ever hear Matt read a sentence incorrectly

[@UltimaPhoenix15]

How is it supposed to be read? Edit: I reread the stupid thing. I feel so dumb.

[@Luigicat11]

I was looking over the wrong top line so I was so confused.

[@kodakasaur9518]

What about Tiddly widdly wop (wop)?

[@thejoabear]

These videos are hilarious, Matt. Thanks for being our Jester. I tried to make a better rhyme, but the longer I take, the longer it festers.

[@ToastStealer1332]

At 2:42 the aircraft at hand appears to be some sort of ground effect vehicle. It's a good design too, as the wings are a reverse gull wing, with the engines mounted in front and below to maximize the air compressed during flight. The T-tail is nessesary to prevent any disturbed airflow to the tailplane, increasing overall stability. Kudos to whoever designed it.

[@trinityy-7]

"if water is water don't ice is hot to cold water you'd brain" words to live by

[@twistedcoasters1533]

Roses are red, The best food is fried,

[@pikgears]

​@@twistedcoasters1533don't eat strange bread, you might trip balls and die

[@StuffandThings_]

"Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food"

[@d3vonitehacks]

roses are red, pointing is rude, @@StuffandThings_

[@equilibrum999]

and not ending poems is causing problems.@@d3vonitehacks

[@cameraman01productions]

Roses are red, I have to pee, Matt’s vids are the best, 💀

[@debranickless1762]

4:32 Quick Balls

[@JackieJackJackerJacky]

3:46 I like how the meme is a screenshot lol

[@shipnerd27]

Matt is the only guy who would ever read the most random stuff while drinking whiskey and making it hilarious.

[@pauline_f328]

2:40 That was the most aggressive-sounding read of an asexual meme I've ever heard 😂

[@dianebomberry3794]

It’s not acesexal

[@pauline_f328]

@@dianebomberry3794 Garlic bread is a very common meme among asexual people and has hence become a symbol of sorts for asexuality. Originally the saying was something about how many of us asexuals would rather have cake than sex, but things have shifted to garlic bread over the years - maybe because of the word cake being used to mean butt, or because garlic bread was healthier, I don't know (at least I personally heard it in that order) As such, someone claiming "yeah sex is great but have you had garlic bread" explicitly comes off as a reference to the asexual community, whether that was intentional or not on the part of the person who made that post

[@MicahPachirisuGuy]

​@@pauline_f328garlic bread is for everyone

[@theguythatasked6400]

The a stands for anger

[@Stagecoach_Studios]

5:22 Many people need a lover, that’s why there’s Cupid. You’re right Matt, that was pretty stupid.

[@y0ur.fav3_w3ird0.Darcy_]

Hey Matt, just wanted to say I love your video’s they never fail to make me smile :)

[@MistyInTheCloudz]

mlp fan who watches this channel spotted in the wild ?? wanna be friends?

[@itsthejavavoid]

5:22 roses are red most cars are grey why'd you do that matt, are you okay?

[@kingstonlovely7404]

CRYOMNES!

[@loleczkowo]

good one!

[@Aheumanitor]

Roses are red, your house is gone, for I am Thomas the thermonuclear bomb.

[@c4n8r]

2:29 i love that seals can just *_PHWOOM_*

[@bread._stealer]

Roses are red, Life has no meaning, Three thousand voices Are constantly screaming

[@dontmicrowaveinstantramen]

roses are red, i have no direction, go get a therapist, not a youtube comments section

[@shreyaspamaraju262]

Roses are red, Your comment is depressing. please seek help, Instead of confessing

[@aliquistapes]

stockpiled a bunch of matt's videos like the gremlin i am and watched them all at once. can confirm lots of matt in rapid succession is one of the greatest feelings ever.

[@clockwork3494]

"What I if told you, you read the top line wrong" "Oh god damn you.." I felt that Matt.

[@something1600]

4:13 I can just tell that this is England.

[@sportstackeroctober2531]

The enunciation of 'banned' at 1:44 get me every time

[@squiddwizzard8850]

Thanks Matt for unknowingly comforting me during a two day panic episode.

[@lonestranger]

Plenty of Canadians can't correctly pronounce Saanich, but Matt did so perfectly.

[@-vixy-victacious-]

Ingredients: 3/4 cup cooking oil or melted butter 3/4 or 1 cups sugar 1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract 3 eggs 3/4 cup flour 1/3 cup + 2 1/2 tbsp cocoa 1/2 tsp baking powder 1/4 tsp salt INSTRUCTIONS 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 8×8 square baking pan, or line it with parchment paper. 2. Mix together the oil, sugar and vanilla extract. 3. Add eggs and mix until well combined. 4. Combine flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt. 5. Slowly add to the egg mixture until well combined. 6. Pour the batter into the pan and spread evenly. 7. Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out with a few crumbs.

[@MrFourchords]

Huh

[@prdus]

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Microwave

[@IntrovertedGoose]

Toaster

[@FurnzSaysStuff]

the britishness radiating off that 'that was so stupid' is magical

[@itsMichqel]

5:11 Should’ve been “My homework isn’t done. Now I am doomed”

[@AnEffingPinkCatThatBreathes]

Or “My homework is finished, and I am too”

[@doodlebyte7964]

I genuinely choked on my food when you read out "if water is water don't ice is hot to cold water you'd brain". It was the sound effect of the glass of water that really got me

[@wishiwasmaren2608]

I knew as soon as I heard it that he'd actually poured it on himself

[@Scribblemations]

Our good KZbinr pal, Matt Rose, never fails to be red inside of us

[@dizzy_jump]

prozd moment

[@janslavik5284]

@@dizzy_jump King Dragon sends his regards

[@Scribblemations]

edited to fix his name and be funny again

[@dizzy_jump]

@@Scribblemations "and be funny again" funny how you replaced an actually ok comment with an unoriginal and unfunny joke

[@Scribblemations]

@@dizzy_jump literally just the name change

[@ChaosCorrupt3d]

Matt: Roses are red Matt Rose is me Today we’re doing these memes Skull E- My headphones: HAHA YOU THOUGHT “Power off 😌”

[@omgitsgreebeguys]

Roses are red Cacti are prickly Holy crap This escalated quickly

[@officialSgtPepperArc360]

Good one!

[@omgitsgreebeguys]

@@officialSgtPepperArc360 Thanks! :D

[@alccoderonscratch7909]

Alternatively: Roses are red Cacti are prickly OH GREAT HEAVENS That escalated quickly

[@whatTFisThis]

3:30 roses are red violets are blue as someone who has lived with sheep her entire life, yea that sounds like something theyd do

[@whatTFisThis]

@@HungryWarden oh damn

[@Jellotines]

Violets are blue should be replaced with "People told her to shoo"

[@ralseidemurrer]

Cows will do that too

[@Wubotanist]

Roses are red, Something is wrong. Where is my Luigi Bong?

[@ClassikSprites]

0:44 ok but genuinely on god, what the 💀.

[@KitCatIsNotACat]

I was about to say the same thing 😭😭

[@shanellemurrey9300]

Fr, must’ve hurt like hell after

[@Wahidjac]

Need months to heal

[@hakobyanator]

queen

[@matthewboire6843]

Yea like WHAT

[@rockercaterrorencountered4924]

the woman at 2:06 is a badass, she sprinted out to scare off a massive bald eagle in nothing but her underwear. I highly recommend watching the original video, the picture doesn't do justice to just how intimidating an adult bald eagle is. The goose is fine btw, it somehow got away without being hurt despite the eagle getting it off the ground at one point.

[@MauroMeeusen]

Matt: *sees 💀* *fills longs with air* *screams:* sssssskeehhHHHUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLlll emOOJEEEYYYYyyy

[@qckreplacementvideos7561]

My dad was a teacher and told me about the time a girl wrote a love poem to her crush. Roses are red VIOLENCE is blue ... I love you I love you I love you

[@MegidolErin]

I meeean, it's not wrong lmao

[@HungryWarden]

Violence isn’t blue itself but it probably makes you blue.

[@MistyInTheCloudz]

girl was like “roses are red, violets are blue, i love you a lot, i really do, love me back or i’ll *_commit violent acts_* towards you”

[@A.Brooklry]

I like how a good amount of people who sees this comment paused at 3:06 because that meme confused them so much

[@BLP_Memes]

Reminds me of: “Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?”

[@ShadowsightSolos]

As a fellow Garfield fan, I can confirm 3:03 is accurate. John needs help. Smash the glass.

[@12MyNameIs]

YOU COULD'VE NAMED THE VIDEO MATT ROSES ARE RED

[@TheChristian_Poet9203]

Underrated comment fr ❤

[@Glegh]

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Matt Rose, I am coming for you

[@straykitten3812]

Why did he sound more British than usual here…. Some things going on 5:29

[@osheridan]

Br*ts actually use their strange accents as a defense mechanism to throw the enemy (sea monsters) off tact, so the cold water activates their danger response

[@m3tamorphosissystem250]

@@osheridandid you just censor the word “Brits”

[@TVCollections]

⁠​⁠@@m3tamorphosissystem250As a br*t, I can confirm that our nationality is censurable.

[@SapphireHeartTippy]

2:34 In space, no one can hear you *cream*

[@Trainboi1983]

I have not risd but have wet dreammed

[@m3tamorphosissystem250]

CREAM is a slang for money, not for ejaculation.

[@m3tamorphosissystem250]

Cash Rules Everything Around Mr

[@naytnight]

​@@m3tamorphosissystem250C.R.E.A.M. get the money dolla dolla bill yall

[@Brownie_12367]

​@@kingstonlovely7404HEY! NO! GET BACK IN THE BASEMENT!!

[@bugorchard]

"Mystery animal in tree turns out to be croissant" has me actually holding back tears

[@Periwinkleaccount]

3:36 Roses are red, I’m not an organ donor, this media has been disabled in response to a report by the copyright owner.

[@tristandaries1129]

1:21 in South Africa it’s pretty common for traditional African families to name their children the thing they thought, in English, when they first saw the child, kind of like how Americans sometimes give their kids Asian names because of their meaning, so things like Hope and Opportunity are pretty common, I’ve actually met a guy named Nice before

[@MistyInTheCloudz]

nice

[@conallhunt7271]

Was he nice as in the adjective

[@KevinTheFluffyWolfy]

I honestly don’t know how the hell he keeps finding these, he’s just gotta look in the weirdest places I guess. I like it.

[@rinnieai]

5:28 is the glass okay

[@Spongyboi897]

he brained

[@maxwellrobertson4831]

Judging by the sound, it seems so (hopefully). It sounded more like a cushioned clunk than a shatter you'd expect if it broke apart, so I'd guess it landed on carpet or something which cushioned its landing (it also looked like a decently thick glass, so it shouldn't have been all that flimsy)

[@maxwellrobertson4831]

My more detailed, patented sound transcription: cushioned clunk, followed by a clink (presumably one end hit first, then the other touched the ground a little after)

[@lumieas]

roses are red, violets r blue, i cheer up whenever i watch u, THANKS FOR ANOTHER MASTERPIECE MATT 💀❗

[@Darling_devin3zz]

2:01 what the FVZCAK was THAT, STOLAS

[@Thetotalyrealniffty]

THAT was the sound, of a FUCKING DIVORCE

[@Thetotalyrealniffty]

THAT, was the sound of a FUCKING DIVORCE

[@silverxstar01]

Roses are red, my favorite drink is fresh ice cold water because it always quenches my thirst These poems only sound good if the second line has the same number of syllables as the first

[@lucitechrepairs]

MATT'S SCREAM AT THE END AHAHAHAHAHA

[@Gaminggoodboi]

Had to stop wacthing in class because I was laughing.

[@owlhousefanatic-r4l]

Video suggestion: I think you should make a compilation of people’s worst school play experiences. It would be hilarious!

[@fpcooper95]

Omg yeah...😂

[@tsifirakiehl4250]

Oh yeah…

[@dhararry7929]

1:04 ladies and gentlemen... we got em

[@MistyInTheCloudz]

sounds like something Florida man is prone to

[@matthewboire6843]

I know who was arrested for everything Rick Sanchez

[@alexandalmondagent7and963]

​@@matthewboire6843Or Nagito Komaeda from Danganronpa 2 (I've seen vines of the Danganronpa series)

[@lukiwei9468]

@@alexandalmondagent7and963Or Grunkle Stan

[@MemeShitpostTunes]

these lovely poems have a perfect flow

[@Tired_to_make_content]

Skull emoji. Never gets old. If everyone at my funeral doesn’t say “SKULL EMOJI” then I’m not dying.

[@zenbamboo7978]

The sheer excitement as I screeched "INVINCIBLE MOOSE NEXT FIVE KILOMETRES!" Is just beautiful . I was only it on Instagram maybe a month ago and secretly knew somehow Matt would find it

[@arifezwan8893]

3:59 this meme is too powerful, it defeated matt who kept looking and stressing on misspellings

[@Aurarora]

4:53 OOH, that's a good one!

[@MistyInTheCloudz]

*H A M*

[@coolrex69]

*H A M*

[@dragonmoonwave]

*H A M*

[@connorburton1009]

I've never seen that DMX tweet before. That's the best tweet I've ever seen.

[@gamerguy2259]

Saw this online: "Roses are red, Love is the feeling, Badger falls through Northampton Superdrug shop ceiling."

[@TheGoldfishArmy]

0:52 Sounds like something out of "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever"

[@KitCatIsNotACat]

I just watched that movie and you know what, you’re right.

[@tsifirakiehl4250]

Oh, I starred in the stage version of “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” when I was ten years old!

[@KitCatIsNotACat]

@@tsifirakiehl4250 cool!

[@Gelasans]

True

[@Metacred]

The best part of mondays are, matt roses skullemojiiii

[@wisteriablossom2730]

Matt rose is literally my #1 therapeutic escape. Thank you so much, you make me laugh a lot!

[@zaydenmYT]

3:14 The Helluva Boss script be like:

[@alexandalmondagent7and963]

As someone who has watched the series, this is true.

[@heyimemma1634]

Yup 😂

[@RandomHQ433]

Or any of the GTA games

[@Darling_devin3zz]

NAUR FRR

[@JoeDave-r3p]

SOPTP

[@danmanproking2179]

Even the first rhyme is a sign this one will be a banger.

[@emilythezeldafan848]

" *AH* THAT WAS SO STUPID! " this sent me into orbit

[@ambatakumssanctuary]

If I was getting an ultrasound of my testicle, I'd probably be in pain too

[@kibertyisgay]

Wait (I don’t know if this is purposeful) but that works well after “Roses are red, Violets are blue”

[@ambatakumssanctuary]

@@kibertyisgay I DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF THAT

[@Absbor]

english rhymes are funky. german rhymes are written the same way. but english rhymes can't always be done the same thing, cuz the pronunciation is fricked up. thankfully the german rule can still be applied to english rhyming. while i enjoy my tea in my cup. anyways: Matt your videos slay.

[@zerokuroxy]

Thank you for your insight, Mr. Tyson.

[@kuperlilu5340]

I was doing homework, but this seemed more important.

[@gracefulbean9894]

Hey Matt! Just wanted to say “thanks,” since I’m coming up on my first college finals, and your videos are still making me laugh, even though I’m really nervous!

[@chillcreep4926]

You're gonna do great! Study study

[@gracefulbean9894]

@@chillcreep4926 Thank you so much!!

[@aritheblob]

late but good luck!

[@noobstud]

I'm loving this subreddit already

[@Arborvitar]

when Matt said ‘💀’ i got goosebumps

[@heyitstandy]

Me too! That's the best part of his videos. 😗

[@initialdae8642]

0:21 bruh only in Canada