Roxane Gay - Fitting Into the World in “Hunger” | The Daily Show

Author Roxane Gay opens up about the childhood attack that led to her weight gain, the unwelcome advice she gets daily and writing a different kind of memoir as a fat woman.
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[@akee0623]

Roxane has gone on record as saying this is one of her favorite interviews she's ever done.

[@madnessbydesign1415]

I was in a relationship with a heavy woman, and I got to see the devastating psychological effects of her own inner turmoil and society's dismissive or hostile attitudes. Never fat-shame anyone. You don't know their story, and they don't need your input...

[@namesjames1]

Also don't harass people for drug abuse either. Same reasons.

[@joanneweiss3864]

As an older heavy woman, thank you do much for your sensitivity and insight. My reasons for my fat life since childhood have just now at 60, all finally been discovered & realized. Thank you❤️❤️

[@madnessbydesign1415]

JoAnne Weiss, Anytime :)

[@namesjames1]

@Emma With The Gs I see no difference. You don't think that the health risks associated with obesity can devastate just as severely as drugs? What's more severe than death? There are already laws to intervene when violence comes into play. Either you overlook self harm or you don't, right? Don't mind if I smoke btw

[@thepurpleshade486]

Emma With The Gs dude ur trying to correct someone literally called who gives a shit... can this be a meme?

[@krystofdayne]

Wow, cudos to Trevor for inviting someone like her with such a painful story. This was genuinely hard to watch, but truly powerful. And cudos to her for writing that book, that takes courage and real self-evaluation, I don't think that many people would be capable of that.

[@stevenyu4155]

@William Hutchinson Honestly. Go fuck yourself.

[@karehijo]

@Krystof Dayne: that sums up my thoughts. Exactly.

[@idacoetzee]

William Hutchinson oh how pathetic, tiny and insignificant your life must be.

[@sempre8135]

@@idacoetzee please dont encourage obesity. What do you have against her?

[@rdhfgfhghj]

@@sempre8135 please don't commit suicide self-hate is terrible

[@GenXsinglefree]

Trevor is the best. Puts his guests at ease and draws out what's in their hearts.

[@MrEphratah]

Explained him well, thanks! I feel the same

[@dorouuable]

1. Roxane Grey is a great author. 2. I love that Trevor actually READS the books his guest bring. You can see the green sticky note tabs and you can tell he legitimately is impressed and knows which sections reached him.

[@npeliroja89]

She is amazing & this book is a gem! Difficult at times, but necessary & beautifully written.

[@elizabennet7397]

She is a great writer (I recommend her novel An Untamed State) and she has the great gift of being able to express what she means. Kudos to her and I wish her every success.

[@sempre8135]

You need more books, to be honest.

[@teeahtate]

Yes, she is a great writer.

[@evilzlatan]

I want to thank Trevor for going out of his way to not have the generic celebrity guests and for actually listening and empathizing with his guests creating a meaningful exchange. I will get this book. Thank you for sharing your story Roxane.

[@sergiodongala]

I just bought the audiobook, it's an amazing story.

[@ShantezTolbut]

Sérgio Dongala it really is

[@gomolemoseleke4071]

Just finished reading this book. I shed a tear at the end. It’s a great book and I’ll forever be grateful that she shared it with us. Love you Roxane. ❤️

[@MikeWaltonPro]

Roxane, we love you. You are beautiful. In all your pain, in all your struggles, it is those things that make you who you are. I hope more people realize this is how we deal.. that it's not always a choice.. or a weakness, but a defense for the world. Keep going in your fight.

[@africanchild2008]

Am so sorry....I feel so terrible about myself right now...thanks so much for sharing your story.

[@starcherry6814]

Hey! I remember her from that amazing ted talk she gave! Women like her are my feminist role models!😻

[@damware20]

She has a Ted talk? Definatly watching that next!!!

[@beautifulcrazy]

I understand this. Bullying did the same to me

[@Ritapita73]

I grew up with my mother and grandmother always telling me I'd be "...so much prettier..." if I lost weight. Mind you, I was maybe 20 pounds or so overweight at the time, and in middle and high school. I had kids call me a "hippo" at 5'3" and 125 lbs. Fast forward 20+ years, and I had a vertical sleeve gastrectomy to lose weight. Now, the weight loss surgery is killing me, putting too much strain on my kidneys and liver from a ridiculously high protein diet. I lost the weight, but I have also lost years with my children and (someday, hopefully) grandchildren, all so I could make other people happy. I am only in my 40s, but I wonder some days if I'll make it to 50, all from being fat shamed in school and by my parents. Words have repercussions, and what you weigh (or health advice, in general) is never *ANYONE'S* business but that of you and your doctor.

[@maryrosekent8223]

Ritapita73 I hope your health improves, or at least holds out.

[@Ritapita73]

@@maryrosekent8223 Thank you. My BMI is great now, but with kidney and liver issues I didn't have when overweight, and I wasn't diabetic, either. I have a good PCP now that I didn't have for a while because of lack of coverage after my surgery. Then, I had to have a back fusion, and the doctors refused to do it until I was "healthy"... So much for that, lol.

[@ladida9084]

@@maryrosekent8223 I think it's the diet killing your liver not the surgery. I tried doing a keto diet, but 2 days in I could feel the strain

[@sristigayen4843]

Because my friends and family fat shamed me almost all the time, I began starving myself and consequently stopped growing after 12.

[@Ritapita73]

@@sristigayen4843 I know that can happen. This world needs to realize that all Hugh Hefner (and the product of most patriarchal societies) did was create unrealistic expectations for girls and young women, by making us think that we needed to be anything other than the perfection that we already are.

[@Cutepotatos]

This woman being able to tell her story the way she does is fantastic and amazing. She’s so real and not over dramatic like some authors tend to be with there life stories. I love this. She’s very inspiring.

[@beastygeorge]

Overweight people suffer a lot of things other folks can't even imagine. Kudos to her for writing this book! =)

[@rosesmith6925]

Such a Beautiful and Inspiring Lady.

[@equisde8026]

nah

[@msjkramey]

I gained so much weight after I was raped, too. It wasn't a choice for me. It just kind of happened. It was probably a defense mechanism and a self-esteem problem. I went from 120 to 180 in a few years. I'm 170 now, but I just can't seem to push myself to lose more. Everytime I do, I gain it right back out. I get nervous, scared, binge eat, and gain it back plus a bit more. And I always felt fat, even at 120. I look back and realize I was really shapely and I should have been proud of my body. Now I'm afraid I never will be, even if I get back to that weight or size

[@DLynn]

Hey girl! I'm 5 mos late on this comment, but I hope you find the self love/esteem to see yourself as beautiful! I've always been a big girl (runs in my family). Of course, as an adult, I have the power to change my body, and I've tried many diets, gyms, shakes, pills, etc. It definitely takes effort, and I've achieved weight loss before, so I know it works, but I've also got depressed with how long it takes, not seeing significant change right away, and usually gave up. I didn't go through anything traumatic, thank God, but I know that our minds can get to us, along with other people's unwanted opinions. I also have looked back at past pictures of myself, and though I could have always looked better, I saw that I was not as terrible as I thought, and now I wish I was looking like that. It's terrible what we put ourselves through...but I do hope you find the confidence and motivation in yourself to do whatever it is you need to do to get to happiness with yourself, and for yourself. Take care!❤

[@kaluwaavril326]

You're strong, never forget how you've overcome and continue to do so.

[@karenhorton148]

Thanks Trevor! Can’t wait to get my hands on this 📖 🙏🏽🌹

[@Hussein_Nur]

No more body shaming! Big or small, short or tall, none of us are beautiful if we tear others down to build ourselves up.

[@aenorist2431]

Even if you think fat is beautiful,which you are free to do, don´t claim its healthy. If you are fat you have a worse life, if you are very fat you will die significantly earlier than you need to and endure much unnecessary pain. No need to shame people, many of them have to fight mentall illness. Just don´t add to their problems by normalizing or even glorifying it. Human decency, an open ear and help where its needed and requested is what fat people need.

[@Thai101full]

yeah we shouldn't make fun of people if there's something wrong in their body that they can't change but being fat is another story , I sympathize with this woman because of what happened in her youth but if she went to te gym and put half the work she put in her book she wouldn't be fat anymore. I'm sorry for the people that say that we should be nice to fat people but scientifically obesity is bad for health. Your doctor won't sympathize with you and go out of his or her way to find excuses for you , they will tell you that unless you follow a healthy way of life you will die.

[@hammer_ttk]

@@aenorist2431 finally someone with the exact same thoughts on this topic

[@stoormtrooper22]

If you're are fat, you're fat It's not healthy and no matter what you think nobody will ever look at you as if you were the last Coke in the desert If you're fat you're not healthy Fix yourself up!

[@madnessbydesign1415]

KANDADI Mahamoud Amine, That's very naive. If you're more than 20-30 pounds overweight, the road back to being thin gets exponentially longer and harder. Plus, the strain of suddenly exerting yourself to that level is very stressful on your heart (many people who go through extreme weight loss die soon afterwards of heart attacks). This doesn't even begin to touch on all that extra skin that's now hanging. While obesity is not good for you, who can say they lead a perfectly healthy life? We all do things that aren't "good" for us. And, who cares if your doctor 'sympathizes' with you? That's not their job - and we're ALL going to die, even if you 'follow a healthy way of life'...

[@roxywyndham]

I absolutely adore Roxane Gay. 1. We have the same first name and her last name is Gay which makes me happy 😆. 2. Her writings are amazing. Side note ever time Trevor said Roxane he said my name 🤤❤️😍😩😊.

[@sempre8135]

Shes no vegan like you tho :(

[@dp562]

This opened my eyes to a different version of what I thought I knew. i would never be rude to anyone but this interview made me look at this situation differently.

[@jen3810]

Thank you, Roxane, for sharing your story. I know it all too well. learning to love oneself again after developing a coping method by becoming invisible... well, we're sisters in that regard. There's comfort in knowing I'm not alone on this journey, so thank you again. Love and hugs to you.

[@haemusic1]

Brilliant Woman. Very courageous for sharing her very insightful introspection. I also applaud Trevor for his kind and fearless treatment of this interview.

[@maryhigginsy]

Omg she is amazing

[@missabyssinia2293]

I heard her being interviewed about her cousin being the new Harvard University President. I’ve never seen or heard of this lady. I’m hooked now. Currently reading her memoir.

[@BeyondEntertainmentForYou]

after reading the book, I really wanted to make dresses/clothes although I'm not a good designer. I will try my best for her.

[@dhakavelvet2913]

She is beautiful and brave woman.. 💙

[@dhakavelvet2913]

@NormieFly I don't have any idea why you don't have find any beauty on her it's your point of view to seeing anyone but it's completely okay in my eyes she is brave and beautiful at the same time ..

[@dhakavelvet2913]

@NormieFly think the way you like to think and let me do the way I like to think .. simple ..

[@gofaonemangope1603]

Inspirational 💜💜

[@Muhdah1972]

I think that she's brilliant and I had planned to read something of hers, now I know which one to read first. I respect RG for her courage & bravery to tell such a horrible experience in a public forum. She's a 💪 woman. 👏👏👏👏👏

[@mamunabdullah3578]

I like her so much, sometimes I do sarcasm about fatness. I will never do that again.

[@joanneweiss3864]

Thank you so much ..from an older lady on a fatness roller coaster since high school for many similar reasons as hers. Thank you❤️

[@stoormtrooper22]

Yep, it was a BIG mistake 😂😂😂

[@MichelMawon4982]

nice, good on you

[@safiyaoraefo8180]

same here

[@commenterperson4481]

Awesome!!

[@jeffchan67]

Trevor's interviews are so amazing, I've stopped commenting on how amazing each and every one of them are. Then once in a while one is so powerful I have to anyway.

[@infiniteideassquared9102]

What was mentioned in this was that -nowadays- (nowadays? Wow, that sounds way too formal.) since times have changed (even though the world still has many of the same problems) now people who don't fit into someone's definition of what a person should be have more power to fight back, but more power is also thrown at them at the same time to keep them down. For this strong, wonderful woman, people targeted her and insulted her because of her apperence. For me, mine is how people look at my emotions. I have severe anxiety and depression, both of which I have finally decided to take medication for, but for a long time people saw my anxiety as cute and adorable and my depresion as an excuse to not smile every five minutes. I've been betrayed by some I used to trust because I became an easy target for their bullying. I don't know everything about what it is like in the shoes of others (how can I when I am only one person who still has room to grow), who have more signifigant problems then me, but I understand how even the most nonchalant of insults can create a devestating blow when it is directed towards someone, whether you know it or not. Thank you for your time. (Again, wow! I went formal again. Am I afraid fellow commenters might not take a teen seriously?)

[@maryrosekent8223]

InfiniteIdeas squared I wish you health-physical and mental. Although it’s hard, do your utmost to keep your mind and your heart open. Again, it’s very hard-I know because I tried and tried and eventually retreated because my mental health was/is precarious. I’m now 62.

[@infiniteideassquared9102]

@@maryrosekent8223 I'm sorry you have to deal with your issues. I wish you the same.

[@MariaMartinez-gv2xy]

Thank you for telling your story, you're telling so many other peoples stories too.

[@jeanettethomas5806]

She's so cool, and such a great writer! So happy Trevor had her on! I gotta read this book!!!

[@rdrew8311]

Thank you for sharing your story Ms Gay...continue to walk in your strength and live your best life.

[@sierras2213]

I loved her book so much😍

[@teeahtate]

Roxane is hilarious and I enjoy her writing.

[@kelvinh.1101]

I have been following Trevor since his stand up special African American in 2013. It was great from the beginning to the end. I had watch parties at my home to introduce Trevor to my friends and family who had never heard of him. I researched Trevor and started watching his older works before African American and I was always pleasantly satisfied with his works. Then he got selected to be the new host of The Daily Show... I knew he'd be successful and make the show his own and I am even more impressed with him today and everyday. This man is a great interviewer and passionate in his communications with guests. This was a great interview and Roxane Gay, is a great, strong, beautiful woman. Keep up the great work Trevor. You are making a smart difference in the world.

[@Fantasytiger86]

the saddest thing is super religious people if their parents are the same way they may have blamed her or shamed her and she may have ended up worst ugh truly sad i hope she finds the balance she seeks

[@luxeamouretvolupte7076]

Her story is in so many levels similar to the story of my girlfriend's life, I had a continuous lump in my throat watching it. Go Roxanne! Thanks Trevor for having her in the show, and for not trying to use "smooth, politically correct words" aout it!

[@marianaramirez4954]

I wasn't expecting this.. I need this book like yesterday.

[@e.r.5329]

Trevor is so brilliant! He navigated this conversation so well👏

[@princem5155]

She looks like she wants to cry. This is such a sad interview.

[@jessicafernando5129]

I was listening to a podcast where Roxane Gay and Nicole Byer talked about this interview, and how much they like Trevor Noah's interview style and preparation. Nice to see it.

[@thembamsibi64]

Informative interview. I never knew this about a fat person's life.

[@tessarabennett3951]

This woman is amazing

[@jasminaalm]

I have breast cancer, for life. My body is fragile, but I get up and work. Every day, " You look great ! You must be cured!" They mean well.

[@bladeowens]

EXCELLENT BOOK!

[@hazelguillen3993]

Thanks for sharing the Roxane story love you both

[@cameronscott5649]

Roxane is so amazing

[@mln1369]

Right on, Trevor. Keep up the great work getting attention to things that need it.

[@sinclairethomas8197]

You should interview John Leguizamo about his comedy special on Netflix, "John Leguizamo's Latin History for Morons." It deserves to be highlighted and talked about. I think you will really get something out of it.

[@LynneJordan11]

I just watched it! Terrific!

[@bluelittledove]

i read this book and it was a fantastic read. recommend it to everyone! It was so good I couldnt put it down and finished it in a day.

[@jassonk318]

I will definitely purchase this book.

[@SolinoOruki]

Wow. It was stronger than I expected.

[@whatthefizzsticks]

One of my icons ❤️❤️

[@willmonroe123]

Thank you...realness indeed

[@angeldutch]

I love Roxane so much

[@byfaithwalking1529]

I'm glad to see she's taking back her power. Speaking up removes the paralyzing hold and shame which gives her back her power. The other side of dealing with rape is realizing that in most cases for a child to rape another means they were raped/violated or somehow sexualized at an early age. Rape is usually cyclical.

[@redcorvetbule7136]

Thank you

[@bonnierobinson5917]

Such courage to talk and write about this subject.

[@haniyehlavoi3070]

Great interview 👍

[@YESSUHMUSIC]

TREVOR & ROXANNE WERE LEGENDARY WITH THIS INTERVIEW...

[@Dzztzt]

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Thank you for sharing your story, Roxane Gay.

[@alondraelizabethherrera2404]

Wow Amazing and I can't wait to read it. She is phenomenal!

[@Sweet_Oni]

Realness appreciated

[@maryrosekent8223]

Jasmine Cameron Truth!

[@lazyperfectionist1]

"Oh, my god. I would've told her to _talk_ to her parents. _Listen_ to them." Well, that's good advice for people whose parents are _receptive._ Too often, though, parents are _not_ receptive. And the _church_ is not receptive, _either._ Any suggestions for people in _this_ situation?

[@TheGuindo]

i mean she's talking about her own situation specifically, since the question was "what would you say to your 12yo self", so, your point is kind of irrelevant really

[@lazyperfectionist1]

@@TheGuindo As anyone with an interest in understanding can tell, I'm not disputing or overlooking the fact that the advice she offered was for her 12yo self. I even acknowledged that in my initial comment. I was pointing out that the situation she faced when she was 12 years old was not typical and was asking if she had any advice for people _outside_ of that situation. As I should not need to explain, abuse takes many forms. Now, given that your comment clearly does not answer or even acknowledge the _existence_ of my question, I am disheartened. Your comment does not manifest an _answer._ It does not manifest _empathy._ Clearly, it was _not_ written to provide assistance or support; it was written to provide criticism (and perhaps, abuse) which are things the world does not exactly need more of.

[@girlwhomustnotbenamed4139]

@@lazyperfectionist1 I'm very late to this comment but thank you for pointing this out. Honestly, the church was the reason she didn't talk to her parents and what they do is literally criminal, even w/o someone having to go through such tremendous trauma. The toxic, archaic, mysoginistic narrative around sexuality they peddle should be left in the frickin' Bronze age where it belongs. It is tantamount to child abuse and should be banned or at least countered in a systemic way. I think the only solution is to promote secular education and talking as much and as openly about body positivity and body neutrality as possible everywhere, so that kids who are forced by their parents into religious brainwashing would have a higher chance of encountering different narratives. This could also help them find and contact organisations/people they can turn to when they are afraid of the rejection from their parents/community in general. Social media is great for this but they first have to know it is a possibility to reach out, so presence and communication on the part of such orgs is key. So in short: they could try to find receptive communities thwy can trust either online or offline. There are many people who want to and can help. Most of all, and this is obviously not an immediate solution, we all need to learn that we have to proactively talk about bodily autonomy and consent with children from an early age on, bc that is the most effective way of combating the shaming narratives that are still too prevalent and are definitely an integral part of toxic religious narratives (which themselves are all too prevalent, unfortunately).

[@ThisIsYourOnlyWarning]

Oh I have to get this book! Great woman there! Thank you Trevor for doing this interview! 😘

[@Habitmaker]

just read the book.. she’s so painfully open with her own scars I cried several times reading the book btw she looks super duper lovely here I love the make-up on her as well and she looks so cute and shy when shaking hands with trevor

[@FrauDaphna]

She's such a great author!!!

[@AudreyHeadley]

Very inspirational lady

[@elhadjiamadoujohnson4166]

Respect!!!

[@izzywoods794]

So looking at her as she talked i was being a stereotypical woman and admiring her makeup and i’m like, she looks like a really cute writer. I’d picture her with a typewriter and a black dress or something. Then i noticed the badass tattoos..... Now i want the book😂 curiosity

[@DabsOnDabs]

Tattoos really aren't an expression of being badass anymore.

[@chloevrijmoet1947]

This was amazing to see two of my idols interact 😭

[@chanduya]

I love the people Trevor invites to his show! And so many of them wrote books, which is absolutely great but maaan I don't even have the time to read everything for university how am I supposed to read these books about very interesting people and their lives...

[@mariahernandez-sebastian2156]

Wow,speechless.

[@robinfoxworthy9542]

love who you are as you are. ✌

[@BirdsandBS]

We couldn't agree more!

[@kyliesmith729]

I love Roxanne!

[@Katspearl]

Came here from Nicole Byer's podcast! Shout out to Trevor Noah for being a great host

[@TheMightySar]

This good show my daughter going threw this about her weight

[@Oreo-vh7rk]

Holy hell she survived something so terrible and years later people are still so damn mean 😡😡😤

[@Naglee10]

This is brilliant. You are brilliant. You are representing a lot of voices by sharing your complex reality in so many formats, thank you! "The world is not really interested in creating a space where you fit."(4:30). I wish I could prove this wrong but I feel a lot of people, including myself, can identify with that statement for unique reasons. However--I do care about age disparities due to health and location. The average lifespans in the americas are grossly dependent on zip code. Age disparity is indicative of the ethical and ecological crises in the americas currently fueled by racism, capitalism, ableism, and gender identity injustices

[@user-ht3uf1gt4l]

This hurts...

[@tsotsishitta8880]

I like this

[@nab-rk4ob]

That book was hard to read because she is direct. I cried a lot. I want to cry and hug her and cry. I know some of her pain and some of it I know nothing. Thank you, Roxane and Noah.

[@DabsOnDabs]

Cry me a river

[@erikapurcell-williams4049]

@@DabsOnDabs ....yup, easy to say until it's you dealing with pain and hurt.

[@DabsOnDabs]

@@erikapurcell-williams4049we all have our own pain

[@emilybazer]

This is an old but still very good

[@myimperfectdiary890]

Man why I’m just learning about here.

[@DirectorSkitsandBTS]

🔥🔥🔥

[@vrcell4489]

Tell it like it is GURLL!

[@Seapatico]

Roxanne Gay is a gd queen, and anyone who comments useless, hateful nonsense here is not welcome.

[@KookzintehHouse]

Roxane: “No, you”

[@idacoetzee]

Roxanne Gay is a goddess❤️

[@sashatoao8421]

Heard her story on Atlanta's NPR. She's Haitian.

[@tjbiel1446]

*Mad* fucking respect

[@katharinanachname4271]

You hear all those shy laughs at the health care and cigarettes part? These people know theyre guilty

[@zonnyprozero1393]

She's cool like she is not fazed by it

[@beckyfisher5941]

You are beautiful, Roxanne!

[@ThorbjrnKuhl]

Didn’t this air a long time ago?

[@neen42]

Yeah, that book has been out for awhile.

[@omaof3130]

This should be aired periodically to remind those that have seen it and for those that need to see the message here. As a lifelong fatty riding the weight rollercoaster, I completely identify with her. So many of us suffer in silence.