r/AITA for Mocking a Cancer Survivor?

[@rorydrummond280]

Who calls themselves a mean girl like what you’re proud to be mean?

[@thunderflare59]

Future crazy cat lady.

[@BadassHater1]

People who want to justify themselves just being assholes

[@Kat-queenofnerds]

She'll probably just live in delusion and say no one likes her cause they're all jealous of her and can't appreciate her specialness. facepalm sigh

[@qdllc]

Automatic “walk off the lot.”

[@allblazing1160]

How can someone date a person who calls themselves a mean girl and be proud.

[@leandrodlamas8993]

Update on 1st story: He did drop her. Theyre done. But, as a joke, his friend introduced her to him on april fools, his friend knew she was a piece of work. 😅

[@shreym03]

That's a really good and a really bad joke at the same time

[@thegrimharvest]

Oof. Very "just a prank bro" vibes.

[@lorilancaster5917]

Sounds like OP should dump the friend(s) who thought this was a good “prank”.

[@myopinion69420]

​ @lorilancaster5917 yeah, what happens if she had of hid those red flags long enough to get married or pregnant? then his life is a shit show.

[@pauliussipavicius4658]

So that means friend should be dropped too.

[@alezot6141]

OP: "She is tipically quite nice" Also OP: "Her insults can happen anywhere an anytime, and litterally anyone can be the target"

[@lorilancaster5917]

“But it’s not said directly to their face.” Dude he should’ve cut her out first date.

[@TheMadagascarqueen]

​@@lorilancaster5917There was an update. He tried to talk to her, but she played the victim again. He broke up. He later learned that his friends introduced her to him as an April fools prank and they knew she was a jerk.

[@TheMadagascarqueen]

There was an update. He tried to talk to her, but she played the victim again. He broke up. He later learned that his friends introduced her to him as an April fools prank and they knew she was a jerk.

[@ashleyjones9756]

This is why I am Asexual.

[@momomomo__]

@@TheMadagascarqueen hope he drops those friends too, because wtf

[@danielbrant6740]

*OP's Brother:* Can you help me fix my dating profile? *OP:* Have you tried fixing yourself? *OP's Brother:* _MOMMMMMM!!!_

[@mayapowell5436]

Chair story. One of my favorite sayings: lack of preparation on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine. You think your gonna have trouble standing, get your own chair. It's not my fault you decided to have a baby and now have to deal with all that comes with it. I'm sure at some point she at least overheard something about pregnancy being hard on your feet

[@xKCAZxLEADER]

First Story, NTA: OP needs to lose Nancy and find a better girlfriend. She really called OP misogynistic and controlling for telling her to stop making "jokes" about a cancer survivor. Nancy is a horrible person and a walking red flag Second Story, NTA: They are being blatantly disrespectful to OP. OP and his roommate were married on PAPER, thats it. OP's family is just being disrespectful Third Story, NTA: Being pregnant doesn’t mean everyone has to bend over backwards for u. If this was priority seating at a bus or something then that would be a different story but this is OP's personal chair. No means no, pregnant or not Fourth Story, YTA: Trying to appease sexist, racists, or homophobes make u an AH. OP's "explaination" will cause his gf to leave her. She literally spoke the truth Comment: Literally this Fifth Story, NTA: I think OP's way is more logical. Seems like OP's parents can take care of themselves on their own; while OP's husband's parents need professional help. How will it be fair for OP to be forced to take care of her in laws? Glad OP got rid of this disrespectful man along with her former in laws Sixth Story, NTA: OP was helping Bill by telling him the truth. This man works at Walmart as a door greeter in his 30s, while living with his mom, and while having insane expectations and standards. Hell, this 30 year old man running to his mommy to tell on OP should speak a lot of volumes and be a wake up call

[@lorilancaster5917]

With the second story, OP literally saved his friend’s life. Her parents were going to take away any financial assistance unless she married someone they chose. She had medical issues on top of this. OPs parents sound horrible. Third story: they could’ve brought a chair. Being pregnant does not entitle you to another’s resources. Story four: I hope she dumps him. I’m a jerk but I would call out those catty b****** online for the trash they are. Story five: I heard this story before but not the update. I’m glad OP is splitting from him. I’m sure he would’ve tried to move them in without her consent in hopes she would deal with it. Also glad she’s getting the locks changed. Last story: I’m getting “Nice Guy” choosing beggar vibe from Bill. He needed this reality check decades ago

[@Batman-lg2zj]

Nancy isn’t a red flag but she is a cruel person. I wouldn’t really leave because if she gets hurt then I can secretly make fun of her .

[@your_local_questerian]

Nancy is a horrible girlfriend. I have read so many stories where most of the time OP was NTA but everyone else was a piece of crap because they made jokes about someone in OP's family or a stranger for having cancer and the result was NOT pretty. I hope OP dumps that woman, she is a horrible person.

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@your_local_questerian according to updates he did and was only set up with Nancy as an April Fool’s prank. The friend already knew how horrible she is

[@jessicaadame9980]

​@EPICzoom_0 how the fuck is it not sexist? Also it would be worse for who exactly? It sounds like it would be worse for men

[@Manibular]

I'm pregnant and I've got bad feet, and I would NEVER ask a stranger for their seat. If something like that happened to me, the thought of asking wouldn't even cross my mind.

[@lorilancaster5917]

I hope you’re doing okay and staying of the heat. You have a good head on your shoulders whereas the woman in that story came unprepared and expected people to cater to her for an event not about her.

[@LauraOch-gk6sg]

If I was pregnant and had to attend an event and wait in line I would bring my own chair. I hope she's better at planning ahead once she gives birth 😂

[@arnoldfossman1701]

This falls under the heading of "Bad planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part."

[@bella-rolland]

if it was a public seat, pregnant women should ask IF they can have the seat. since the seat was brought by him (private seat), you have to wait until he offers you the seat

[@Manibular]

All of you guys are totally right. No one should just assume someone else should take responsibility for your own poor self planning. And she definitely should get better at preparing by the time she has that bebeh.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 1: no this isn't a red flag, her proudly declaring herself as a mean girl is a red flag, thrashing people behind their backs is a red flag. Making anorectic and bald jokes to a cancer survivor, then trying to turn the tables on her BF for calling her out is a deal-breaker. OP she painted you a clearer picture of who she is, and made it clear she will not and does not want to fix these obvious terrible character traits. If try to look past that you are enabling it and you will end up losing a lot of friends and family, it's not all of them.

[@Greekphire]

Yeah no, I disagree OP#1 is YTA: OP knows she was like this, Knows this is her 'fun' and knows she doesn't give a crap about anyone elses feelings and despite knowing all of that OP still brought her near his cancer survivor relative AFTER seeing her wind up and trying to tell her not to be a bully. OP knew what would happen and brought this bully around anyway. OP is almost maliciously blind to his new girlfriends cruelty and for that he the AH.

[@condorboss3339]

@@Greekphire Agree. I give OP 1 out of 5 butthole score. I'll up it to 4 out of 5 if he doesn't break with Nancy immediately.

[@christinacartter9784]

​@@condorboss3339there is an update where OP tried to talk to her and she was playing victim to the point of him breaking up. The really messed up part is that after, the friend who set up the blind date told OP that it was supposed to be a joke and he never expected them to go out more than once.

[@darlenefraser3022]

@@christinacartter9784Jeepers! Great friends there. 😬

[@abiean222]

honestly, if she said those things in front of me i think i'd slap the shit out of her. that shit is not okay to say

[@scatterghostblue3]

Just lost my father to cancer and I Don’t need to hear the story, anyone that mocks anyone with cancer is automatically the ah.

[@lorilancaster5917]

I hope there is a long line of people waiting to kick Nancy whenever she is down. Mocking someone with cancer who wasn’t an AH to them should be a one way ticket to hell. I’m very sorry for your loss

[@audreym3908]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand, but will tell you that in the update OP broke up with her and found out the friend who set them up did it as an April Fool's joke. I don't remember if OP dropped the "friend" tho.

[@darthaino]

I've lost many family members, including my grandpa, who raised me to cancer and am a survivor myself. People suck.

[@melnati78]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[@laurasbeauty3215]

I'm so sorry for your loss ♥️

[@maygoodcometous1]

I am a recent widow. My husband died with Alzheimer's. I can tell you that if the MIL is wandering the streets and the FIL is restricted in mobility, there is no way OP could care for them both alone. The husband getting all self righteous is outrageous. You think it's so easy to care for them alone? You do it! I give him a week, tops, before he quits. We'll done for "re settling" them all, OP.

[@jaydentoth]

I also lost my father recently. He dies with dementia. I was around 25 at that time and job searching. I cared for him 24/7 for a whole year before he could get into a specialized nursing home. I literally lived through hell but let me tell you I NEVER thought of him as a "burden"!!! He was a very clumsy, optionated and most of the time absent father but I never once thought of abandoning him when it became evident that he has dementia. Me and my mother decided on a nursing home because he was so advanced that he also needed medical attention. (he fell a lot due to physical weakness) Anyone who would deem a family member a "burden" because of an illness is a fucked up asshole who only deserves to be left all alone when their time comes! You of all people with similar experiences defending this person is also kinda fucked up as well as very sad.

[@haze969]

​@@jaydentoth2 things you need to consider: 1- they are HIS family, not hers. And I'm not even talking about being related, but about them mistreating her. If they wanted to be family, maybe they should've been nicer 2- We can't forget that there might be a lamguage barrier, as she mentioned a "different culture". The word "burden" is a harsh one, but she might've not know another way to express what she meant. And finally, you just ignored the whole point: he wanted her to care for his parents, who need especialized help, all on her own.

[@jaydentoth]

@@haze969 Thanks for answering in a respectful manner. :) For the first point honestly I don't really care. From the time of entering a serious relationship and living together I start to consider my in-laws my family too. If any of my in-laws or other family member of his needed care, I would be there for them just like I would be there for my own family too. On the other hand, it really may just be me being an overly family-oriented person. My father was also physically and mentally abusive towards everyone including me and my mother too. Even his funeral was made out to be a joke because of this by other family members. However what did they accomplish with this besides showing that they are not even slightly better than he ever was? Literally nothing besides making everything a struggle for my mother and I who are genuinely grieving. For the second point, I really don't believe so that this was simply a language barrier as the word 'burden' have negative connotations in almost all languages. I do agree on the cultural difference though. However in that case she was simply rude to use that word. In her culture it may have a different connotation but that doesn't mean she can say everything to everyone. Studies on culture exist specifically to help people avoid this selfish approach. Before getting together with someone who is from a different culture, becoming educated is the least the person can do out of respect for the other.

[@maygoodcometous1]

@@jaydentoth I defend her precisely because they are the husband's family! If the husband had shown one molecule of wanting to help care for HIS parents, I would have urged OP to at least try to make it work. But no! The husband, like many "civilians" seems to thinks that somehow staying home to care for someone with dementia is like playing house. And then, if you please, there was the FIL who had mobility issues as well? All while the husband just seemed to want to look on? No. I am sorry. That was not fair on OP. Did you have to move and bathe your father? Help him not only to and from the toilet, but help clean him as well? I have had to do those things for my husband. I did it gladly. Despite his aggression. Despite everything. Now, imagine having to do that for one person while worrying about the other one getting run over by a car... or setting the house on fire... oh! And let's not forget that that continues into the night! Now, we can only hope the husband would get up to lead his mother back to bed, or help his father to the toilet but, frankly, I don't hold out much hope from this post. If there is an update that says that, actually, the husband was completely on board to share the caring of his parents, I will be the first to apologise. Until then, as much as it pains me to think the parents are uncomfortable in any way, I have to say that there is no way OP could have cared for both of them alone.

[@jaydentoth]

@@maygoodcometous1 As I said I cared for my father when he had advanced dementia so I know how it feels like!! Also, who said anything about OP taking care of them solely? As far as I remember it was only OP's assumption. A mere assumption is not a fact! Also, would it be alright then to just throw them on the streets then?! Most people think it doesn't matter but only so long as it is not about their own relatives. Why is it alright for OP's parents to move in? Is it because they don't need help besides a roof over their heads? That's what this all seems like to me! Also what I had to do for my father included literally everything from waking him up, dressing him up, giving him the medicines, pulling him up when he fell, check him for any possible injuries, dealing with him not recognising me at times, restricting him when he got violent, fearing for my life when he accidentally remembered he had a gun and still didn't know who I was, cleaning up his messes as he was way too weak at 80 years old to get to the toilet in time and the list could go on and on. So I repeat myself I KNOW what I'm talking about. Do you think the husband CAN care for them alone? Surprise: He cannot either and his wife leaving him in times of need makes her the bigger asshole of the two still.

[@tiara4481]

Update to the first story. Op was complaining to the friend that set them up. The friend to op that they set up op and the ' mean girl' on April fool's for a reason. Apparently the friend did it as a prank or something like that bc he knew the girl was a terrible person before hand

[@lillylovegood2300]

Gaining not just a relationship position with this update. I'd be gaining a friend position too. That's fucked.

[@charminglady2011]

Omg.. wow

[@tiara4481]

@@lillylovegood2300 I was shocked

[@tiara4481]

@@lillylovegood2300 apparently they broke up so that's good

[@condorboss3339]

If OP took two months to figure out Nancy was a bad person, he's an idiot and deserved the consequences. The friend probably thought OP would drop Nancy after the first date.

[@MichelletheJay]

Okay, on the parents in the household situation: if MIL is at the point of wandering off, a nursing home would be Much Safer for her.

[@abiean222]

some people need specialized care, there is not question about it. OP could not take care of her MIL, its just a fact.

[@PixiePrix]

It's not even a red flag. She straight up told you she was a mean girl. She gave you her full red catalog with SKU numbers and everything

[@onlyhalfevil_333]

Mocking a cancer survivor is 10 out of 5 a-holes.

[@chezsnailez]

Kick that up to eleven...

[@ashleyjones9756]

Just mock them behind the internet. That is what most people do today anyway .

[@fss1704]

Heck, doesn't need to be cancer, chris rock for instance.

[@Froggo11]

If the mocking is about cancer, then its 1000000 out of 5 assholes

[@playernotfound9489]

worse than pedos?

[@RiveroftheWither]

First story: Imagine ignoring such an obvious red flag, she literally told you and showed you on several instances that she never matured past being a highschool bully and you still thought it would be okay to introduce her to your cancer survivor friend? That this ONE time she would actually be respectful? You should have kicked her out the moment she said you were ruining her "fun" by saying your friend was off limits. That was her literally telling you, clear as day, the kind of person she is. Not someone who does this pathologically or because of mental health struggles but someone who genuinely enjoys bullying people.

[@M1N1molo]

It's not a red flag, it's a fucking foghorn!

[@Redragingphoton1]

Yes, this is where I disagree just a little with the verdict. She's a butthole for obvious reasons and OP is just a bit of a butthole for bringing her to an event where it was highly likely she would say something bad.

[@abiean222]

@@Redragingphoton1 eh, can't really blame OP for being an idiot

[@TheMadagascarqueen]

There was an update. He tried to talk to her, but she played the victim again. He broke up. He later learned that his friends introduced her to him as an April fools prank and they knew she was a jerk.

[@RiveroftheWither]

@@TheMadagascarqueen That's a pretty disgusting prank then, setting him up with someone so abusive, the friends also get butthole scores.

[@Aymarichan]

If the pregnant lady story had OP on a public seat, I may have thought differently. But yeah. Her being pregnant isn’t OP’s problem.’especially with her own chair

[@tiaralp6813]

As a young disabled person, public seats are for us too. I have very bad joints, often use a cane and can't stand for long time without being in severe pain. Yes, pregnant people deserve to be offered a seat, but not at the expense of elderly or disabled. On good days I happily give up my seat, but on bad days this could put my health at risk. If OP says he has painful legs, he is just as much entitled to sit, as the pregnant women, he just happened to be there early.

[@Frostfern94]

@@tiaralp6813 The thing is, the pregnant lady most likely CHOSE to be pregnant, the disabled and elderly did not choose to be what they are.

[@tiaralp6813]

@@Frostfern94 I'm aware, I'm disabled and definitely didn't choose too. You can't deny however that pregnancy, especially in the later weeks, can take a massive toll on someone, and actually can disable them. There's so many ways pregnancy can fuck up your body. So I honestly believe, that if you can, you should offer your seat for pregnant people. I do it on good days too, when I can stand without pain, because they are probably exhausted and maybe even in pain from carrying around a baby all day long. Obviously if they're rude like this woman, fuck em, you get the energy back you put out.

[@suzyboyleanderson6945]

Nobody wants to date a clingy mamma's boy in the first place who can't handle when someone criticizes him and runs to his mommy and whines about everything

[@playernotfound9489]

no its HER Fault for being pregnant so she doesn't deserve anything

[@dracko158]

Story 1: Ruining her fun? OP is being misogynistic? BRO she's the one being the jerk here! Insulting a cancer patient? Bruh, run the hell away, NOW. NTA.

[@lorilancaster5917]

What else does she do for “fun”? Burn ants? Pull the wings off flies? Pull the beards off of Santa’s while screaming “Your parents lied to you all!”?

[@anionleader]

Nancy is also capable of playing the victim, because she is quick to play the miso genie card.

[@TheMadagascarqueen]

There was an update. He tried to talk to her, but she played the victim again. He broke up. He later learned that his friends introduced her to him as an April fools prank and they knew she was a jerk.

[@24ratswtats]

No wonder that guy isn't able to get a relationship. Let's be honest, he isn't looking for a partner, he's looking for a live-in caretaker. He wants to go from being taken care of by his parents to being taken care of by someone else

[@lorilancaster5917]

He wants a sugar momma without considering he brings nothing to the table. OP was right. The brother needs to overhaul himself

[@Ikajo]

There are women who likes anime and games, but we won't bother with basement dwellers who have nothing to give.

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@IkajoBill is wanting a unicorn basically. He expects these high expectations for a woman plus the added benefit of her being local even knowing since he’s in a small rural area such a woman doesn’t exist. If by some chance she does, she knows her worth

[@Artretha]

​@@IkajoExactly. I'm into those (although I'm into other geeky things, as well), and I would definitely avoid that guy, even if I were thin.

[@Ikajo]

@@Artretha Same 🤣🤣🤣

[@HopefulDarkness]

story 1: kinda reminds me of the twitch streamer who mocked a cancer patient. Thing is though with the twitch streamer, she loves the negative attention. Sorta makes me think people who like being mean girls just like getting a rise outta people

[@Manibular]

She was awful to that girl.

[@youzettasonsofdigits1639]

omg I remember that her streams were so trash too. The viewers then sent the video to her dad's work and he got fired so he came home and kicked her ass out of the house. The girl made all these stupid sleep streams too.

[@CaptainTom_EW]

SSSniperWolf?

[@youzettasonsofdigits1639]

@@CaptainTom_EW no there was a girl who was having a legit video call with a cancer patient and she was openly mocking them for having cancer. Edit: her name was Playmate Tessi

[@CaptainTom_EW]

@@youzettasonsofdigits1639 I saw this drama years ago and might have mixed up the names in my head

[@Yumi_Jay]

My father married his wife, my stepmom, at 31 and her at 30. They had my half-sister a year later. My father was married to my mom until their divorced when I was 7 years old. I see nothing wrong with having a second marriage in your 30s.

[@lorilancaster5917]

The problem the parents have in the story is that OP didn’t marry for love the first time. Even though they knew why he did it and it may have saved her life doing so, they just saw that their son married someone he didn’t love

[@girl1213]

It really doesn't matter what age you are when you're married. They are just being self-righteous about how "right" they were and think OP wasted his life and want to confirm to their egos that they were right. OP did the right thing and he's getting mocked for it, so its' no wonder they can't understand why he's angry with them.

[@nat6098]

As someone who has had to be a carer for a parent for a year I can say that it is exhausting and more difficult than people think. It takes so much energy and time and often you don't have any support. It can lead to resentment later on. Yes nursing homes can be terrible due to lack of staffing and terrible workers, but sometimes it's the only option.

[@lorilancaster5917]

And unfortunately it should’ve been on the in-laws and their kids to help make sure they were provided for during this point in their lives. Not on OP especially now.

[@queenofputrescence5167]

Especially if the Mom is starting to wander. I wonder if they both quaify for nursing home stays or if it's just the Mom. They might have to live in separate places until the Dad's condition deteriorates to a level where he qualifies to live in a nursing home.

[@josephinenelan4204]

Yeah, my future situation is totally different. I have a good relationship with my in laws and I OFFERED, my husband didn’t “tell” me to. I do not like how many nursing homes have abuse cases, and I personally want to be cared for at home, so I OFFERED to my in laws. My family/extended family also has the finances to actually afford at-home care from others, and even constructing an ADU. Which, my husband and I want to be able to do for our kids (financially cover our care) if they and our sons or daughter laws are willing to care for us. But I would never tell my kids they have to, just, naturally if they decide to they will come into possession of more funds/real estate assets (naturally to help care for us). Not sure if that’s considered bribing, it only makes sense to me to give more financially to the ones who take on more burden. Not what seems to be happening here at all.

[@leeofdoom4452]

OP isnt a good person She kept her finances separate from her husbands, that's not a marraige lol If you marry, you become a team, that includes taking care of each others families.

[@Kkell0x]

Story 1: OP deserves 3/5A if he stays with that disgusting person How is it misogynistic to protect a womans reputation from another womans bullying tendencies?! And the GF should have a 4/5 score Her comment about ruining her fun as she saw the recent cancer survivor is insane She was about to full some crap right infront of her and everyone there Does she *want* to get slapped???

[@yngvi2003]

He didn't, thank god- Although it does show he prolly should get better friends, considering they introduced her to him on April Fools

[@kivrinsagchannel791]

No Op stood up for his friend his "girlfriend " is a walking red flag w strobe lights on her she's mocking a family friend who survived cancer. I feel bad for that poor girl he should break up w her she's shown her true colors

[@Kkell0x]

@@yngvi2003 ok that's kinda funny 🙈😂 I hope they at least thpught he'd get the joke she actually is

[@DarkEinherjar]

Story 4: I love how rSlash wasted no time in switching to male Karen voice. 🤣 I also love this line from the GF: "If you think it's acceptable to make me do this, you're just as bad as everybody else." Very true. When you do nothing to fight the problem, you're part of it.

[@leeofdoom4452]

Because family traditions are problems...

[@idalodell3870]

For the third story. I love how people don't plan ahead of time and then just expects everyone else around to help out. Like OP brought a chair cause they came prepared and they wanted to be comfortable while they waited to get inside the event. It's not OP's job to accommodate them cause they didn't plan ahead. Either the couple didn't plan ahead or they forgot to bring a chair, either way, that's not OP's fault.

[@tmansmith2110]

Story 6: so for reference i work patient transportation so I'm in and out of nursing homes all day, so for anyone whose parent has mental confusion, especially if they wander, they need 24/7 supervision and you are simply not enough alone, find a good nursing home locally and get them in there and visit often and at random days and times to keep the nurses on there toes

[@IGGYTheClown]

The first story has an update. He was set up with that girl by his best friend on april fools day His friend pulled the best prank of all time.

[@Wrath-_-]

"I'm a mean girl, so I bully cancer patients" 💀

[@lorilancaster5917]

She’s psychotic!

[@Froggo11]

*cancer survivors

[@itsOasus]

Story 1: NTA. "Controlling and Misogynistic"? PLEASE! Break up with your girlfriend. Also, sorry Rslash, but the combination of mocking a literal cancer survivor while trying to use sexism as a shield against criticism means at least 4.5/5 buttholes for me. Story 2: NTA. OP's family is being really toxic and shitty. Proud of you for standing up for your family. Story 3: Why didn't the pregnant lady bring a chair of her own? This story is weird. NTA. Story 4: Alarm bells were going off in my mind the second I read the title. And they kept going off the whole time. Yes, OP. YTA. Yes it WOULD be a permanent thing, and you know it. Stop lying to us, and stop lying to herself. The right answer is to stand for your girlfriend. She's right, you are literally spineless OP. Story 5: Yeah I agree, OP's husband, excuse me, EX-husband was being kind of controlling here. Good move OP. NTA. Story 6: My life philosophy is that "people are capable of changing...IF they want to." OP's brother needs a clue, and needs to grow up. Only time will tell if he actually does.

[@Koa_the_Wusky]

Story 1: Nancy gets an easy 5 out of 5 A*hole score, mocking someone who is literally poisoning themselves to get rid of something that is literally killing them.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

I'm quite surprised that no one laid her out at the party. Ending up with a broken jaw or having a few teeth knocked out might have humbled her big-time and cured her of being a mean girl.

[@Dondizle]

​@iononcanto, she'll insult the wrong person one day. She's too arrogant and clearly doesn't care to think about who she's talking to, so it's only a matter of time.

[@serenablade6616]

@@Dondizle Fingers crossed!

[@geoffreyrodgers5373]

idk I think the 4/5 asshole is reserved for actual abuse and harm, not just dickish behaviour

[@iononcantomascrivo]

@@Dondizle That's usually what happens. A butt whooping tends to have a humbling effect. I used to know a lady who was just like Nancy. Let's call her Kelly. She was an unrepentant know-it-all who prided herself on being real and honest. Unfortunately, she equated being real and honest to being nothing more than a stuck-up, petty, spiteful, mean-spirited jealous, insincere witch who had the emotional maturity of a five-year-old. I think Kelly's problem was no one ever used her face for a punching bag. I cut contact with her nearly a decade ago, but I did hear, through a mutual friend who also recently cut her off, that she has not changed in the slightest. She's now in her sixties, has nothing resembling a relationship with her grown children and her daughter cut her off from her only grandchild. I also heard that when Kelly isn't busy parroting conservative talking points or sharing Bible verses that she takes out of context, she plays the victim, posting cryptic statuses wondering “what went wrong” with her life. It's called, she made her bed of nails and now she has to lay in it.

[@kevinwilliams4899]

Parents & in laws. OP was right. My mother had Demntia and it would have meant both us working a shift pattern to even try to look after her what with the night time wandering, leaviing cookers on or just turning on the gas and wandering off.

[@YourXavier]

Story 4: Isn't it interesting how the family doesn't seem at all concerned with making a good impression themselves?

[@DanielGonzalez-qk6sd]

I mean why would that matter? Like the GF is the one entering the fold. The GF is the one that has to adjust or make the impressions when it comes to entering OP’s family. The same way OP need to make an impression and adjust when entering his gf’s family. Sure, ideally everyone gets along but realistically it’s not on the family’s to change (note I do not agree with the tradition of Op’s family. My comment is directly on your comment)

[@christianalbarran6544]

@@DanielGonzalez-qk6sdit also might be a culture thing

[@s0nicfreak]

​@@DanielGonzalez-qk6sd Because it's NOT just the GF entering the family. The family is joining the GF just as much as the GF is joining them. If they make a bad impression, the GF could end the relationship, or she could refuse to spend time with them which would likely mean that the boyfriend ends up not spending time with them, and if they have kids in the future those kids won't spend time with the family either. Everyone that attends these traditional get-togethers tolerates them, but no one HAS to.

[@DanielGonzalez-qk6sd]

@@s0nicfreak See your point is valid but lets look at it through their POV. Okay the gf does not visit them often. Well she did not participate in traditional family events so she is already disrespecting the family. So nothing lost by her not visiting. As for OP visiting and any grandchildren visiting. Well that is nearly assured unless OP wishes to burn bridges with family, which, by how his post is written is not the case. Also, this is a majority vs minority situation. Why change their rules and traditions for one person. If she does not like it then that is her issue. Again in a normal situation sure you are right. But this is a family with a specific tradition that could also be founded in culture. This won’t change. Either the gf adjusts and changes with it or she leaves the relationship. But the family wont change and OP does not desire a negative relationship with his family.

[@s0nicfreak]

​@@DanielGonzalez-qk6sd If the GF does not visit then the OP will visit less just because of them spending time together. Grandchildren visiting is not guaranteed, most mothers will not let their children visit people that treat them badly. It would not be the OP burning a bridge if that were to happen, it would be the family. Think about it, how much time do you spend with people that treat your partner badly? When you were a kid, how much time did you spend with people that treated your parents badly? How much time would you allow your children to spend with someone that treated you or your partner badly? The tradition can only continue if people participate in it. Which means that there must be new members of the family that keep the tradition going. It's the majority vs the minority now but eventually the older members of the family will die and what is today the girlfriends and grandchildren will be the elders of the family. And there is no way to know if the majority even likes it, one person refusing to participate might let other people see that they can say no. There are many traditions founded in culture that we have realized we don't have to continue. The family's attitude is probably as you say, but that's not the reality of the situation. If people have their relationships chased away by their family, either the family will die out or a good portion of the family will eventually realize their family is the problem and stop spending time with the family. I don't think anyone desires a negative relationship with their family, but this family is causing them.

[@wwaspy]

does anyone else try and guess the rating rslash will give and then get excited when you get it right?

[@lorilancaster5917]

It’s like the first bid on The Price is Right

[@avashnea]

Well, I knew he was going to give an incorrect score on the cooking one, as he ALWAYS spews feminist BS and cries sexism.

[@uni8514]

@@avashneabro the literal poster called it sexist. If you don’t agree with r/slash why are you even still here. Just don’t watch the videos if your just gonna cry bc he’s not a mysogynist

[@zombieparrot2606]

Last story: Ol’ Bill has definitely risked ending up on r/justNeckbeardthings or r/niceGuys 😂😂😂

[@tamaradelsohn5493]

Story 5: I'm on OP's side. Caring for just one person with dementia is hard - physically, mentally, emotionally. It's draining, caring for someone who used to be a loved one, that doesn't know you anymore. Caring for not only a person with dementia, but a whole other person with mobility issues would be awful. And in one's own home, where odds are they wouldn't be able to have a space 100% free from them? What a nightmare. Maybe I'm just emotionally charged about the issue because my grandma, who has dementia, lives with me and it is crushing.

[@asmith8692]

My older sister had dementia, my father had Parkinson. I took care of both of them for five years, and then just my sister for another four. I still am dealing with the PTSD. My other sister took over her care with her son, but reached the point where she physically and mentally couldn't, so our sister was put into a care facility and spent the last ten months of her life screaming. Dementia can be a hellish disease and I hope that you have someone you can rely on to give you breaks. I also hope you have a support group, they can literally be a life saver.

[@TemariNaraannaschatz]

I'm the caretaker of both of my grandparents with their mobility issues and thankfully light dementia (only short term memory affected). My grandma from the other side had Alzheimers, we would have never been able to take care of her at home. They 24-7 suvaillance because they run away and don't remember where they live. That and the fact that they already disliked OP, with the combination of mobility issues is a sign up for abuse. And how does her ex-husband think this would have worked? She would have had to quit her job in order to take proper care of them and then they would have run out of money extremly fast. Let alone the fact that regular homes are not build to house people with mobility issues.

[@JimLambier]

Bringing an older family member into a family can definitely be difficult on other family relationships. My mother's father died when she was a child and from the age of 16, she became responsible for her mother. When my mother got married, her mother moved in with her and my Dad. It wasn't until I was born and there wasn't enough room that they moved her out. I know that it was a relief for my dad. Years later, it was my turn when my MIL moved in with my family. It changed the relationships within the family when a senior is ALWAYS there and giving their opinions on EVERYTHING. As they age, it gets worse as mental confusion sets in. I had a job interview that I missed because I was literally putting out a fire when she tried boiling water on the top of a stove element using an electric kettle. Another time, she wanted to get rid of carpet that she didn't like and had found a chainsaw that she was going to use. Eventually, we needed to find nursing care for her.

[@MLWJ1993]

Honestly, it's probably a miserable experience for the person with dementia/parkinson too if there's no one to offer them help at every possible moment imaginable. So really taking care of someone's needs would likely not even be possible in the stories arrangement.

[@izraelburgess937]

Sadly this is common. But my thing is there are definitely facilities for this . But at the same time , it’s cruel for op to suggest moving her parents in instead of her husbands. Regardless of the disabilities that’s blatantly saying “I value my family over yours “ especially in this situation where the husbands family is genuinely in need while her family just needs to move somewhere cheaper . Add on OP’s comments about her husbands culture , the fact that she’s the one who drew the line in the sand rather then try to hold an honest conversation, and then her comments about her ex. It seems like they were headed to divorce anyway and op just used this as her way out .

[@wrath4452]

I do agree with his assessment of the first guy. *Fucking RUN!*

[@girl1213]

He did. And he frankly needs better friends because it was apparently a prank to them to set him up with her in the first place.

[@lolala330]

I was once in line for some hard to get tickets for a concert. I remembered to bring a chair so I can sit down (i have bad knees). Even with my knees I gave my chair up to a very pregnant lady. I had to go to the bathroom, so I left, came back, and the pregnant lady and my chair were gone. So, no more sharing my chair, ever.

[@SaraSG1]

That makes me irrationally irritated tbh. People who abuse kindness like that ruin things for everyone and don't care cause they got theirs.

[@lorilancaster5917]

And I bet she sold it on Facebook Marketplace. I’m sorry someone took advantage on you. That was uncalled for

[@playernotfound9489]

i hope she gets a mis- cradle (theive and it was her fault)

[@ConejitoPequenito]

Why do the men in these kitchen inequality stories never offer to join the kitchen? They just get upset when women opt out

[@dx1450]

I love cooking and would love to help out in the kitchen in that story scenario. I'm pretty handy with a stove or with our grill. The main problem my wife & I have with cooking is trying to figure out what to make.

[@ashleytheblindvisionary907]

I'm sure if he had done that, his toxic family would make fun of him for being "whipped."

[@cincysilvia8807]

I try to but end up just getting shuffled off

[@girl1213]

Because they don't actually want to do the work. It's one thing if they were single and living alone, but the moment they have a woman in their lives, all their cooking skills, no matter how meager or excellent, go out the window. It's quite stupid but that's apparently how they are expected to behave. It's annoying.

[@Grouchbox]

Because they secretly agree that women exist to serve and owe them servitude.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 4: who makes a first-time guest help cook in the kitchen anyway? And how long will she be forced to cook in the kitchen with the other women before she's allowed to stop. This isn't setting a good first impression it's setting the standard that you are a people pleaser your GF will be expected to do the same thing.

[@crimsonflareumbreon1290]

Yea op really need to wake up and stick up for his gf

[@lorilancaster5917]

I don’t think she could ever stop once she started. Only way would be she make her stance known right away that she won’t participate in their sexist BS, don’t care about their approval, and if they try any crap with her they can pound sand! However OP wants a sheep not a woman.

[@edwardelinder]

If I remember correctly in this story, she kinda forced him to go hunting with her dad and brothers despite him being uncomfortable, and he was asking the same of her

[@sayadiva123]

OP is too brainwashed to see the BLAZING MARANA FLAGS his family exhibits for what they are. What if he went to his gf’s place and saw that the husband and wife (or maybe even the whole family) cook together? Would be insist the father sit with him and chat and let the women cook? I bet he’d have been looked at like he was crazy

[@avashnea]

@@edwardelinder Of course, the feminist double standard.

[@marissaworsham3062]

In my mom's family, traditionally, the women cook and the men sit in the living room. The difference between my family and OP's is if a man wanted to help cook, NOBODY WOULD CARE. And if a woman didn't want to cook, NOBODY WOULD CARE. This family is CRAZY and needs to get their thinking straightened out.

[@lwolfstar7618]

Exactly, an invitation without gender rules is a good thing, a requirement based on your genitals is not

[@Reuraku]

Story 4: sadly there are some cultures where being younger means your words mean little to nothing. Story 5: I have a grandparent with dementia and we did in fact put him in a home, not all retirement homes are awful so long as you have the money to pay. They give him the care he needs as professionals and it's near by so we all visit him frequently. Taking care of someone with dementia is not a simple or easy thing and is best left to professionals.

[@TemariNaraannaschatz]

As a caretaker of both of my grandparents: taking care off two people with different needs, one who has a tendecy to run away in a home not built with their needs is terrible idea. My grandmother on my other side was in a facility catered to people with Alzheimers because when she was still in her normal nursing home after she couldn't be left living alone anymore and the police had to search for her more than once. I am certain with OPs help they could have tried to find a place that could have taken decent care of them, but expecting her to do it on her own is nonsense. Let alone the fact that people in need of nursing often get abusive and they were already terrible to her, she could end up in physical danger if it got bad enough they needed help showering or getting in and out of bed.

[@sassyghost_8]

For story 4, I was going to mention that as well. I feel like the take was from a very Anglo-American perspective and didn’t take into consideration what culture OP may have come from. I do come from one of those cultures and I’m the second youngest as well as the only girl. My two eldest cousins are the clear favorites while the rest of us often get the short end of the stick for being fairly younger. I’ve had to call out my aunts and mother for petty things they get hung up on like when my cousin invited his girlfriend to Christmas Eve dinner last minute and she didn’t have time to dress up so she came in jeans and my mom and two of her sisters have NOT stopped talking behind her back for it. I hate it but it really is just how it is. Ive called them shallow but they always have a defensive response. As much as people try, you really can’t just expect an entire generation and culture to change overnight.

[@uselessinformation1988]

@@sassyghost_8 Does that same culture also require OP to socialize with the family? If OP's family is that bad, why even interact with them? Why does OP have to be there? What happens if OP doesn't show up?

[@sassyghost_8]

@@uselessinformation1988 It’s a close-knit family. It’s not easy to sever those ties for some people. It’s easy to say you want to leave but not necessarily as easy to put that thought into action. That’s not really a cultural thing either so much as it is a family connection thing. Not everyone in a family has to agree on everything to love each other or care about each other. I think we are shifting to a world where people are a little too willing to drop their ties at the slightest offense as well. I understand leaving if you’re in a genuinely abusive household but disowning your family because you disagree with how your family does things or having a different world view from them is a self-centered thing to do, in my opinion. I also don’t know what culture OP is from so I can’t say for certain what it’s like for him specifically. I was just trying to say that culture could be a factor and gave an example.

[@uselessinformation1988]

@@sassyghost_8 If OP'S family verbally and mentally abuse women who don't cook at their event, aren't they abusive?

[@rosegomez203]

His parents: Nursing home. NOT feasible to have them live with you!

[@mc11213]

Story 1: rSlash really needs to look for comments and updates more often. They broke up. His friend set them up on April Fool's Day. Wanna guess why?

[@stephanistar12]

He records a week in advance usually so they prob didn’t have a update at the time of this recording

[@cristinasalgado4157]

Honestly, he doesn't seem to do updates or edits anymore. He just does the original stories at this point. Mark Narrations and Markee are REALLY good creators who are super good about catching updates/edits

[@RavenYoung]

​@cristinasalgado4157 lost genre is also a very good youtuber and like 98% of the stories he reads has updates

[@havard4966]

@@stephanistar12 Read that story some time ago, and also read the update at that time. Quick google show month old so.

[@Whooachannel]

​@@cristinasalgado4157exactly! That's the reason I really don't watch rslash's videos as often is that his stories almost Never have any updates. Mark narration and markee are my go to channels for reddit stories these days

[@jplayzow]

on the story about his parents needing medical assistance with dementia they are a LOT of work I am not patient care but I work in a skilled nursing facility and I can see how bad they end up towards the end these people need constant supervision that you should not have to provide just because the husband feels entitled to your time

8:50 If I was her I would agree and simply do the most stupid things in the kitchen ever. Like badly cutting vegetables, burning rice, disturb everyone how’s in the kitchen by asking the most stupid questions, just very bad cooking so they would never ever again ask me to do it. Weaponized incompetence at its best!

[@thalianox2492]

That first girl is red flag central. f someone poked fun at a one of my family members that beat cancer, they will literally be kicked out of the house.

[@silverflight01]

Story 4: I am not one to s**t on tradition, but that tradition just doesn't work with the modern day anymore. So what if she'll be ostracized for not wanting to hold up the sexist tradition? It's better than following it

[@firepuppies4086]

I can see why he's hesitant to rock the boat, but that's a boat that needs to change course

[@lifeischeesy]

If tradition doesn’t mean anything to OPs gf, she has the right not to go. But I don’t see the big deal with it. Everyone has their place in the household, and every household has the right to set what place everyone should be in to function correctly. If OP doesn’t run his household like his family, that’s perfectly fine. But I don’t think it’s sexist for women to cook. Just like it isn’t sexist for men to work. Nobody is being demeaned in this story at all. OP brought it to his girl in a respectful manner, and just tried to appease his family for one day.

[@firepuppies4086]

@@lifeischeesy I think it's more if they have such a vitriolic response to someone not having the same view it as OP suggested it's concerning because, they would likely try to force that on OP

[@lifeischeesy]

@@firepuppies4086 families are imperfect, for sure. But they have their way of doing things that works for them. And obviously OP cares about their approval (as most of us do). Yeah, it’s not cool to force your views on your kids, but sometimes you just gotta bite the bullet in certain situations. I don’t think anyone is particularly an “asshole” in this situation. I just think everyone is stubborn. OPs family could bend, or OPs gf could bend. Either situation wouldn’t require a lot of effort. But I respect your opinion even if it differs from mine.

[@firepuppies4086]

@@lifeischeesy fair point, I think with the limited knowledge we have settling on stubborn is a good middle ground, though kinda leaning into the family being the bungholes but again, we need further context to solidify that judgement

[@Milk-ck1wv]

1st story: Honestly op is also the butthole aswell as his girlfriend. She's a bully and a ass but he stayed with her knowing that she was that way. He only broke up with her and stopped enabling her behavior when it affected him and his family but when it wasn't at his family he what brushed it off and didn't care that much? She didn't hide her personality either he knew because she admitted it. So he should get 2/5 bholes for enabling disgusting behavior. Just like the dude in a mysoginist family he enabled their behavior and wanted his girlfriend to do the exact same but she was smarter then that. I hope she broke up with him and he got a reality check.

[@KomaedasOneTrueHope]

OP seemed like a dumbass. And his friend introduced her as an April Fools joke because he KNEW she was a pain in the ass💀

[@TheMadagascarqueen]

There was an update. He tried to talk to her, but she played the victim again. He broke up. He later learned that his friends introduced her to him as an April fools prank and they knew she was a jerk.

[@TehNemoz]

The one with the Elderly parents who needed around the clock care: I REALLY don't think ex-hubby truly realizes what he was asking of OP. His parents did, unfortunately, need to be in a home. Dementia is a heartbreaking condition, and I can't imagine the mental,pyshical and emotional toll that would take on basically 1 person, who has zero background in nursing. His parents needed care around the clock, 24/7 and somehow OP was going to do that, totally by herself? Yet somehow also maintain an income? AND give up her home? Meanwhile, nursing homes have whole teams of nurses to help such patients, and it takes a toll on all of them!! I'm glad OP stood her ground. If I ever succumbed to such an awful thing as Dementia, I truly wouldn't let my son see me at my worst. I would not put that burden on him. They have facilities for Dementia patients for a reason...

[@SpruceOaks]

Sounded to me like the in-laws now get to reap what they sowed. Don't bite the hand you expect to take care of you one day.

[@sue-silvermist1199]

In story 2 didn't the parents told there kid to get married and pressured them into it 😅 so technically it's there fault

[@chubbyanimalenthusiast70]

There’s making dark jokes than there’s her straight up insulting people

[@Rosy345c]

I personally think they didn't though OP didn't respect the meaning of marriage because of what he did with his "first wife". And now they don't take him seriously on his "second marriage". That doesn't excuse their behavior tho, just putting perspective.

[@DoctorOaks]

I'm pretty sure it was the friend's parents, not OP's parents, that were pressuring marriage. Not even necessarily to OP, just in general.

[@dudeorduuude5211]

Dude, never think like that again. Yes, the parents pressured her. But she is 100% responsible for HER choices. She is an adult, she can't blame her parents for this one.

[@DoctorOaks]

@@dudeorduuude5211??? Nobody said she was blaming the parents though? I said OP's parents weren't pressuring marriage, it was the friend's parents. It sounds like neither of them regret the marriage

[@itsyagirldeij1310]

I’m literally 29 weeks pregnant with twins and I wouldn’t even ask a random person to have their chair I have literally declined to sit when people have offered me chairs because it feels rude and just because im pregnant doesn’t mean im entitled to a chair

[@WifeMamaArtist]

Final story: How to say your brother is an entitled incel, without saying your brother is an entitled incel.....

[@uselessinformation1988]

I wonder if OP's mom babied the brother. Why else would OP's brother go crying to his mom and tattle-tell on OP?

[@Luigicat11]

"My brother-slash-sister" Did you forget the word "sibling", rSlash?

[@BlueFlames094]

First story: funny how she doesn’t like it when someone calls her on her shit but she’s so happy to give shit to others.

[@girl1213]

That's how it works for people like her. Want to dish it out but not get hit with mud back.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Imagine ruining your marriage by trying to force your wife, who has no medical background, take in your immobile dad and your mom who has dementia and take care of them while you’re at work all day long. Let alone in a house you don’t contribute financially. This guy is off his rocker

[@peblezQ]

First story: at least she was honest and upfront about being a mean girl 😂

[@lorilancaster5917]

No she’s not a mean girl but a psychopath. Yes I’m using this term to express my disdain for Nancy and did not perform a clinical analysis

[@absolutelynot6546]

@@lorilancaster5917 Nancy seems like a sadist.

[@tully6648]

Right? That was honestly on OP for not, you know, noping out of that mess in the first place. Like, who sits there knowing that their GF talks s-t about people behind their backs and doesn't realize that that includes them, too, and will include ANYONE they come across? Hard pass.

[@ahstiasummers5583]

Nancy never grew out of high school or her notlikeothergirls phase

[@M1N1molo]

​​@@lorilancaster5917he does at least fit in with psychopaths. It literally means that you don't feel remorse for others.

[@jsitzman]

Man... For my family get togethers or dinners...everyone would usually bring a dish to pass that's pre made. And the main course was cooked by whoever is hosting and the kids always did dishes

[@dianemartel5205]

Story 1: OP gets 5/5 a**holes for not immediately terminating that relationship. Nancy/Karen is absolutely toxic. Story 5: The husband’s parents NEED to go to a nursing home! Dementia in one and mobility issues in the other are a total no go. A “friend” suggested we move my husband’s toxic dementia-ridden mother in with us and I absolutely said NO. When he asked why, I told my husband that I wasn’t quitting work so I could babysit that woman.

[@TheMadagascarqueen]

There was an update in story 1. He tried to talk to her, but she played the victim again. He broke up. He later learned that his friends introduced her to him as an April fools prank and they knew she was a jerk.

[@AJ-qe5xj]

I’m 38 but have some pretty moderate/severe disabilities. I can only stand/walk for a couple minutes to a time and need wheelchair to cover longer distances. I have a chronic condition that leaves me in pain all the time. While I may not “look disabled” I am, and felt like I could be OP in the story. I try to prepare and bring what I need to make myself comfortable and able to do what I need to do at places, whether that means bringing a wheel chair with me, a chair to sit in, reserving a seat at places, getting a handicapped pass, etc. Pregnant women are amazing and I know their bodies go through a lot, but if she was going to need a seat she should have brought one and not demanded or kept asking after getting turned down the first time. I’ve had people ask for my seat and even my wheel chair because I looked to “young to be disabled” and have no outward appearance of my pain and disability. I think it’s okay if a pregnant person asks for a seat (either so one’s personal seat or a public available seat like on a bus) but if they are turned down, especially by someone who says they need it too, then she shouldn’t keep pushing the issue.

[@pennykivett1341]

About the in-laws who are not able to stay in their home anymore to me it sounds as though both of them are passed the point of being able to be cared for at home they both need advanced care more than OP can do.

[@lorilancaster5917]

Agree. In the update, OP commented that her husband came from a culture where the children look after their parents. I wonder if OP was always meant to be their long term care without her knowledge nor consent?

[@dudeorduuude5211]

Well, and she is helping her parents. But her solution is better. Her parents can help fund care for his. And sounds like she makes more than him, so if his parents did live with them, he should be the one caring for them. He made a lot of assumptions, and her taking care of 2 people with that amount of care required would really take a toll

[@TemariNaraannaschatz]

@@dudeorduuude5211 It's simply not possible. She pays for the bills but if you have a dementia patient that wanders off they need 24-7 survaillance. She'd have to quit her job, they would not be able to pay the bills anymore. Let alone that their home likely isn't build for the mobility aids his father would have needed. Source of information on my behalf: grandma with Alzheimers who lived her last years in a facility who she got taken care of very well and caretaker of my two still living grandparents who both have mobility issues. And even then it's me and my mother taking care of them because we still have to work. Taking care of someone, even with gourvenment financial aid isn't cheap.

[@deniseeulert2503]

My grandparents were married for fifty six years and had a wonderful family, and were loved by all. Sometime though my grandmother tried to take in her own mother suffering from dementia. She couldn't handle her mom, her kids, and her husband. I'm told grandpa threatened to divorce her if the situation continued, and her own pastor said she was supposed to make her husband and kids the priority. So my great grandmother went to a nursing home.

[@SpruceOaks]

I love the last story: "Help me, sibling!" Okay, here is what you need to do. "No! Mommmmmmm!" You forgot to give Mom 4/5 buttholes for coddling and babying her 30yo son. THAT's what is destroying his life.

[@labyrinthgirl17]

I lost my mom to stage IV ovarian cancer when I was 16 (I'm now 32) after she battled it for 3 years, despite doctors telling her she only had maybe six months left when first diagnosed. If someone bullied another person with cancer, or was in remission, or whatever, in front of me, I cannot be held responsible for the punches I would throw.

[@skellious]

Story 4: if your girlfriend doesn't want to cook, YOU can do the cooking for the both of you at the event.

[@uselessinformation1988]

Or just not go to the event.

[@vandreadsims01]

Hello, I work in a nursing home. I completely understand not wanting to put your loved ones there but it is important to not only your loved ones but yourself that you admit when you can no longer care for them. It is a difficult choice and I can't speak for every nursing home but we do try our best. I've met some great people that just happened to be my residents. I've had to step out for a minute when one passes so I could cry. The residents become a part of your life the similar to how your a part of theirs. A lot of us even have inside jokes with them, like this one guy we have I'll shake my fist at him and he'll do it back and me. Then we laugh. So even if that one nursing home in the story was bad, and frankly if it is that bad I don't know how it hasn't been shut down by state, the industry is mostly made of caring individuals.

[@charlesmaxey9342]

First story: he needs a BH score for being complacent and not speaking up about her awful behavior before it got to this point.

[@parytheplatipus]

He literally does tho

[@charlesmaxey9342]

​@@parytheplatipus he seemed pretty complacent by not speaking up about it early on and tolerating it. The fact that he chooses to deal with her and her "jokes" shows how lax he really is

[@TheMadagascarqueen]

There was an update. He tried to talk to her, but she played the victim again. He broke up. He later learned that his friends introduced her to him as an April fools prank and they knew she was a jerk.

[@charlesmaxey9342]

@@TheMadagascarqueen better late than never. I'm just the type of person that doesn't tolerate people treating others poorly. Silence is acceptance.

[@TheMadagascarqueen]

@@charlesmaxey9342 he went to vent to friends about her and that's how he found out the truth. They didn't actually think he actually date her. Looks like the bitch isn't the only thing he needs to dump

[@absolutelynot6546]

Fifth Story: I have to add a personal experience; It took 6 of my grandma's children and 3 grandchildren (including myself) to barely keep her well at home. She had Alzheimer's (plus other illnesses) and was already pretty mean, but the more her condition progressed, the worse the abuse and combativeness got. I was the only one with any training and I only lasted for a couple of years as her main caregiver. I still helped, but it ruined my mental health and I had to distance a bit. After grandma passed, my own mother told me she wouldn't blame or resent me at all if my brother and I put her in a home. Sometimes it's better, but PLEASE be sure to check on them. Nursing Homes are notorious for neglect, and I've seen enough during my first week of CNA clinicals to know how hard it was for my mom to even say that. We may want to care for our parents ourselves, but if they need professional care then for the love of GOD please get them that. As for the Fourth Story: "Good first impressions" done by lying or trying to fake a personality are bound to turn into resentment and even MORE hostility from OP and his family. GF needs to run far, far away and OP needs to grow a spine as well as a brain.

[@Tues48]

For the sexiest tradition one, i went with esh cause of other comments the op made. His girlfriend's family also have a sexist tradition. Not only did the girlfriend pressure him, she accepted the offer of the tradition on his behalf. He didn't want to and was forced too, all while bejng shit talked by thr men of her family. I understand her not wanting to do his but i think its fair since she made him do hers

[@lorilancaster5917]

This changes what I’ve said about OP in a previous comment. They both want sheep instead of partners. However at least OP discussed this with his gf beforehand unlike what his gf did

[@michaelw1096]

Can anyone explain why the family is sexist for having a tradition of the Women cooking and bonding during these gatherings. OP didnt say, the men never cook ever. Just never for these gatherings. Cooking can be fun when its not a huge burden on one person and give the women a chance to talk away from the men. There are even women who refuse. Its not forced but if its the first impression and you dont want to do a bonding activity. Yeah people are gonna talk. "Why doesnt she like us", "why isnt she giving us a chance". Feminism has made anything that is remotely a traditionally feminine task bad and thats bs. We need to eat to survive so its not a feminine or masculine thing. Considering your update. Does either partner deserve a butthole score? Maybe she should have said something beforehand but we have to do things we may not be comfortable with when bonding with potentially your future in laws. I dont know what her families tradition was but his is no big deal and the only reason they see it as sexist is because the women are cooking without men. Women dont need a man around 24/7 and thinking men have to be present for something like cooking to not be sexist is sexist in itself. Committed relationships need to have some give and take and if OPs partner wont cook to bond with his family will she ever split that responsibilty (50/50) with him? Or just say "its sexist, I wont cook." Possibly the same for OP with her family... Depending on the details.

[@mariposa9506]

​@@michaelw1096It's sexist because it's a requirement not a choice.

[@Vamptonius]

Exactly how big is the "estate"? Might be worth some playacting for a substantial inheritance later.

[@TheAZElele]

Isn’t this the boyfriend from that updates story where the GF’s family made up a sexist tradition for him to do in exchange for him trying to make her do his family dumb tradition? Cuz if so, in her updates he never did her family’s tradition

[@PS3Binx01]

Last dude was a textbook Neckbeard 😂😂😂 poor Bill

[@PrimeCypher]

I kinda feel bad for the guy in story 4. Yeah his family tradition is crap, but if the family is ingrained in traditions like this, who knows how they’d respond to someone trying to go against it? It’s not easy to choose between people, but he’s likely about to hit that fork in the road. Here’s hoping he makes the right choice.

[@charlizesalisbury9913]

"poor planning on your part does not make an emergency on my part" is the phrase I see often and it 100% fits for the third story!

[@KittenUndercover]

First Story Small Update: he complained about Nancy to the person who introduced the, who told him that the introduced Nancy to him as an April Fools joke. Seems like OP is coming to his senses.

[@Robin93k]

Don'T think OP has sense~ He was obviously thinking with his dick, and is now searching for an out where he can save face in front of his family.

[@Haldoe]

Being 30, worked in the same wallmart position for 12 years, no progression in life, no own place and possibly now education. I think he might have gotten brain washed or pampered too much as a child. It's really sad too hear someone not living a life and being stuck the same place for 12 years with no change.

[@WeirdOrangeThing]

Last story: Who tf owns their own house and good income nowadays? 😂 I'm lucky to live in my family home. You need 3 roommates now for a 2 bedroom apartment and still be able to afford food and luxury. You gotta do what you gotta do to get by. Anyone with any 'real' partner material would get that. Today's economy just ain't the same as working 2 shifts at McDonald's and buying a house back in the day.

[@lorilancaster5917]

Because of this, I’m betting OPs husband will be begging for another chance. He will likely be quickly noped

[@Vamptonius]

The one with the misogynistic family. Exactly how big is the "estate"? It might be worth playacting for a significant inheritance.

[@Runner656]

I relate to the last story, as I am my elderly mum's caregiver. Taking care of an aging parent is never easy, and it needs to be a family discussion. My mum, brother and sister and I frequently have family meetings to discuss finances, help that mum needs etc. All with the goal of keeping her in her house. The OP was right....if a parent needs significant help you need a retirement home or even a nursing home. One person cannot make that full decision, and her husband is a dick for suggesting so

[@eowyn8340]

I had a friend who loved to pull the “but I’m pregnant” card to get special treatment. It got so obnoxious, and I was so glad when she finally gave birth. But now it’s “but I have a baby.” I’ve stopped hanging out with her since she expects the whole world to revolve around her.

[@ficialintelligence1869]

First story: And then she cries about it, playing the victim? OP - you are dating a monster. And you are a loser if you stay in a relationship with this demon dressed up in a human meat suit.

[@TheMadagascarqueen]

There was an update. He tried to talk to her, but she played the victim again. He broke up. He later learned that his friends introduced her to him as an April fools prank and they knew she was a jerk.

[@millytheotterlover1680]

6th story: It sounds like his parents would be better off in a place with more experienced caretakers. The nursing home might be better for them than her house.

[@rosegomez203]

Let him care for them. He can move out and live with them.

[@madgevanness4011]

Pregnant in the queue: a lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.

[@taylorfrompapalouies783]

Honestly I don't know how OP in the first story hasn't dumped Nancy yet

[@juliaboskamp9666]

He has ther is a update

[@BadassHater1]

Well good news - he did ditch her.

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@BadassHater1yep and according to the update, he was set up with her as an April Fools prank

[@vintagecameragirl]

Op is definitely a sister, because with how her brother acts, he's the golden boy that his mummy always wanted, he a prince and any girl would be lucky to have him

[@johntremble7993]

My mom currently has cancer and is going through chemo, if i heard anyone making jokes about her I'd lose it in them. So for me nancy gets a 10/10

[@MsBELLE7]

The story about the parents needing to go to homes; as a care worker for memory care dementia is the pretty much the ONLY case when I say that family should NOT be the primary caregivers. I understand people love their parents but when they are mentally declining it makes you say goodbye many times. It can cause serious caregiver fatigue very quickly. Not to mention the fact that the care they need changes all the time, and they need much more than general geriatric patients.

[@paiget6200]

Hang on. The parents in-law story. Op pays all the bills but the husband works longer hours. Where's he spending all his money. On himself? Also he said that as his wife it was her job to look after his parents. Well by that logic, it's his job to look after and provide for his family

[@TemariNaraannaschatz]

She obviously has better hourly pay than him.

[@absolutelynot6546]

@@TemariNaraannaschatz No utilities or bills, mortgage or rent, property taxes, etc. So where DOES the money go? Seems like he doesn't care enough to get a better job to support his parents but sees his wife as a caregiver even though she already has a job AND his freeloading ass. If he really cared about their well-being, he would have begun saving as soon as complications in their health arose and looked for a better option than dumping them on his wife. Many states have programs to assist low-income families that have disabled elderly parents, so he probably wouldn't even have to pay out of pocket for in-home care.

[@TemariNaraannaschatz]

@@absolutelynot6546 Hey I'm not saying he's not the AH here, I'm a caretaker, there was no way she could have taken care of both of his parents at home, let alone still go to work. But getting a better paying job isn't that easy, most people have two jobs nowadays and still can't afford rent because it's so expensive everywhere.

[@shadowfang269]

“What’s a fair score” *proceeds to be too nice* nah that’s a 5/5 mocking a cancer survivor is pure evil

[@ComicBookFan-jm8tz]

Nope, as someone who had a grandma with dementia (which developed to Alzheimers) we had to make SO MANY inconvenient sacrifices where in her mental illness started acting like a girl on a couple of occasions. I’m glad OP got divorced and dodged a bullet with the ex in-laws

[@Jovasjingels]

If some one introduces themselves to me as a “Mean Girl” I’m never talking to them again

[@notateendemon]

Right! It's like those "nice" girls who like to say "I'm crazy 🤪" YEAH you are! 😰

[@TheMadagascarqueen]

There was an update. He tried to talk to her, but she played the victim again. He broke up. He later learned that his friends introduced her to him as an April fools prank and they knew she was a jerk.

[@notateendemon]

@TheMadagascarqueen the friends: "Hey I know a good April fools joke," Op and the mean girl: starts dating The friends: "WTF dude! You weren't supposed to actually date her!! She's a gerk!" Op: 🥲

[@TheMadagascarqueen]

@@notateendemon he went to vent to friends about her and that's how he found out the truth. They didn't actually think he actually date her

[@SABRMatt2010]

Fourth story: OP sounds like an abuse victim. I'm gonna not give him a butthole score. The correct response, however, is to respect your gf's decision not to go and to tell the family that they can either treat her with respect or never see her.

[@bcatbb2896]

The pregnant story; I’ve actually seen something like this in real life once where a new mother expected others to help her carry the baby stroller up onto the bus and off. Then when a couple got off ahead of her and she didn’t even ask for help, she flipped out and screamed at the couple. It’s nuts

[@kstricl]

The parents story: that husband should have checked out some of the homes. My wife started working at a local home in food service, it's beautiful there and the food is great. (The staff share leftovers so I get to try it.) The residents I have met are also wonderful as are the full time nursing staff.

[@arianimates6228]

I found this comment when it was 11 SECONDS OLD

[@lorilancaster5917]

If he was logical he would’ve looked and saved ages ago. However it seemed like his plan was always pawn responsibilities on to his wife.

[@DarkEinherjar]

Nancy didn't lie when she said she was a mean person. She literally takes pleasure at insulting and bullying other people. LOSE HER, OP! Btw, there's a small update on the first story: "UPDATE - I was complaining about you-know-who to my friend who introduced on the phone. He deadass told me that he introduced us on April Fools for a reason" Well, that's even more of a reason to run for the hills. And block those "friends" while you're at it.

[@voidwolfz5695]

The last story as soon as I heard that a parent had dementia no longer the asshole I just put my grandfather my third grandparent who has dementia into a home and honestly it’s better than constantly torturing yourself with watching the person you love disappear it’s expensive and not really fun because they don’t always get the best care that they could But it’s better for your mental health so please listen to me on this one end put people who need extra support in homes whether that’s dementia or mobility issues or whatever. Because you are most likely not capable of giving the level of care that they need, you can for a little bit but eventually it becomes way too much for you and that will destroy you as a human being. I went through that I watch my mom go through that I watch my dad go through that it is not fun. Do the easier thing please I urge you.

[@ostlandr]

That last story: "Undateable" is an understatement.

[@silverflight01]

Story 2: If those are jokes, where the peck is the funny? I don't see it! They're just rubbing it in, and OP has every right to be mad about it.

[@Shinyspddmn]

First story: OP, you need to run, not walk, to the nearest exit

[@grottymink7784]

Disagree on the first story. Op knew her girlfriend well enough to know that she would proudly mock a cancer survivor behind their back. Op also knows that she does this for fun. 1 point for not dumping her sooner and another for not dumping her directly after the party. 2/5 A-holes

[@TheMadagascarqueen]

There was an update. He tried to talk to her, but she played the victim again. He broke up. He later learned that his friends introduced her to him as an April fools prank and they knew she was a jerk.

[@aiden7394]

regarding story #6, i want to know exactly how the husband was expecting his wife to take care of both his parents. before she passed away, my grammy had dementia and we needed hospice nurses to get her to shower, help her use the bathroom, take medication, and just over all monitor her. she hated it. not only that, but having a family member with dementia is a painful experience for both you and them. living with someone who has forgotten who you and their other loved ones are takes a huge toll on your mental health, a toll the husband clearly wasn't taking into account, or just didn't care about

[@thunderflare59]

Imagine telling your girlfriend to be less black so she doesn't offend your racist relatives. That's the vibe I'm getting from OP #4.

[@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072]

9:23 I don’t believe he deserves it because he’s so used to it he hasn’t had a breath of fresh air 9:28 apparently his family don’t think so, and I guess that’s the point