r/AITA for Not Giving Away $350,000?

[@rSlash]

Get 3 months free of Express VPN! expressvpn.com/rslash #ad

[@yobabycolin2933]

Yes sir!

[@d.phantomfan1216]

"I can look at all the titties I want" with my my family in the room as I'm listening to this. 😂

[@sallymoen7932]

I've never heard a better ad

[@hiroshi7025]

Thanks kanye, very cool

[@GreatQuestionFran]

That was the best ad lol

[@chloebjarkan5283]

RSLASH in his previous video: "These videos are like a time capsule for my daughter" RSLASH in this video: "I CAN LOOK AT ALL THE TIDDIES I WANT"

[@arnavnair7524]

LMAO that's a good one. I hope he sees this

[@FSShenanigans]

Great example for his daughter really not passing judgement because he’s right most people look at it but the idea is kids under 18 are also able to get access to it

[@Voltaic_Fire]

The daughter should know that Rslash is a human with human needs, and that age verification law is indeed stupid. Hopefully the law and the puritanical gits who enacted it are struck down soon.

[@whiskeycreekboy]

RSLASH, I live in VA as well. I never heard about that law.. it’s doesn’t affect me at all though, if I want to see what gets me … I go to my wife 😂. 11 years strong, two kids, and our passion time is stronger than ever! If I had only one tip to share with people, it would be keep your partner in a constant state of arousal. Of course it’s important to understand that this doesn’t mean make everything sexual. Just do the little things that you’re partner appreciates, thank them for the little things that they do, boost their confidence. Guys this one is extremely important. If she asks you how she looks, take your time and look her up and down, compliment everything from her hair to her toes. Inspect all her jewelry, makeup, hair styles, nails. Ask her to move around and put on a loving playful show. Girls if he does these things please except the compliments form your partner and give him compliments as well. Guys will for ever remember a compliment. The more you boost each other’s confidence, the stronger the bonds you’ll you have for one another. this goes for all sexualities. Just the roles would be the masculine partner and the feminine partner. Healthy polarization is important. If you made it this far thanks. I hope this helps.

[@JayJaytheweird]

@@Voltaic_FireNEEDS? Homie has a wife.

[@Richard_Nickerson]

A kid says "no, thanks" to being physically touched and this person thinks that should be punished? DO NOT FORCE YOUR CHILDREN TO HUG/KISS/TOUCH/BE AFFECTIONATE WITH ANYONE! Even people they normally are affectionate with!

[@JamesDavy2009]

I agree. This is raising a SA red flag.

[@BCFBreakfastClubFan]

@@JamesDavy2009 exactly this. NEVER put a child in the position to be touched/kissed if they don't want it.

[@filipe.sm31]

I agree. People think that you have to touch other people in order to be polite. A simple greeting should be enough, especially when you are a kid. If you're an adult, a handshake is standard

[@etcetera1995]

Children not being allowed to refuse hugs or kisses or just being touched when they don't want it (and don't NEED to be touched) is how you get kids who don't know they've been molested, because they were raised to be obedient and suffer unwanted contact.

[@JamesDavy2009]

That is sexual abuse for real life!

[@bro-of4hg]

Yeah just change the genders

[@randyfulcher1470]

@@bro-of4hg what does that mean?

[@DarkBaptism]

As a father that has had no father's days for the first 3 years. I can understand how he feels. It sucks to do everything for the family and have nothing. It feels like no one cares. This year I got a tumbler style cup my wife bought from her job at Universal Studios that says Super Dad. Thanks. It felt so low effort. To be clear, for Mother's day I took my daughter to Walmart. We bought my wife flowers in a vase. Got art supplies to make a framed picture with paint of our hand prints. I made dinner and bought my wife a nice dress she has been eyeing at Walmart. It's not the money spent that matters. It's the thought and effort you put into it.

[@suitdoggy4707]

I always find it so sad to see people not put effort into fathers day. I understand families who have bad fathers or they're not in their lives. But even ones with some really amazing dads don't put much effort. Every year my family went all out for mother's and father's day.

[@ginihall1234]

Did you talk to HER about it?

[@moneygrabber6720]

You never responded. Did you talk to her about it? Obviously you shouldn’t even have to talk to her about it because she should want to spoil you on your special day but did you ever bring this up to her?

[@DarkBaptism]

@@moneygrabber6720 No I never talked to her about it. Its very difficult to convey any emotions with her. Our relationship isn't one to discuss feelings or talk about how to go forward in making changes to how we fix our relationship. I care deeply for my wife, but sadly she doesn't care enough to want to fix it. I'm 100% the problem always. I could make a reddit post. But I already know what ppl are gonna say. Just get divorced. That's not what I want.

[@moneygrabber6720]

@@DarkBaptism it may not be what you want but it sounds like it’s what you need. Please don’t waste your years being unhappy. Talk to her and tell her to change and if she refuses, that’s on her

[@thatguy3903]

Story 2: i am physically disabled, so i have a fairly unique connection to the story. I can understand why OP didnt do anything, but I'm sure its incredibly hurtful for the husband. She could've done SOMETHING, ANYTHING to show that she loves him and appreciates him.

[@silverflight01]

Story 3: The son is having a bad day, so it's better to just leave him alone. "Correcting" his behavior would've just made things worse. Does the wife's friend not understand that?

[@defineanime5549]

Some people, seem to forget that kids are also people

[@TJDious]

​@@defineanime5549Naaaah they're just little toys for the enjoyment of adults.

[@remylarrivee2047]

Plus there was no need to correct anything...if he doesn't want to hug someone...he doesn't have to!!

[@BronzeDragon133]

@@TJDious Tell me about it. As a child who had no bodily autonomy or opinions or ability to contradict any adult, I was a convenient toy. One either grows up to be a very, very damaged adult or one with extremely strong boundaries. My boundaries are at arms' length.

[@iridescentsolace]

I wonder if people can hear themselves when they pout and whine “But why won’t this child let me hug him I want them to let me hug him!” Like that sounds so creepy

[@iridescentsolace]

The last story is definitely some type of scam/kidnapping tatic bc the way she kept staring and not responding even when op asked if he could get some help is a red flag Reminds me of cautionary tales ppl have shared of helping people on the side of the roads at night or that story of a woman trying to get into someone’s house for “help” but there was two guys around the corner waiting for the homeowner to open to door You absolutely put your safety first, op did enough trying to help her but she didn’t want help. She wanted to be in his car alone

[@thegrimharvest]

I was gonna go with Skinwalker, but yeah, scam/kidnapper sounds more practical.

[@MatrixRefugee]

Also, wasn't there a serial killer in Australia who targeted hikers/backpackers in the outback? I'm getting vibes of this from this strange woman.

[@rudimentaryflavo]

Either that or the lady was on something. But my first instinct was trafficking too.

[@sierrasummit]

My guess? Ghost Karen

[@RiveroftheWither]

Considering she was described as Elderly and staring off in the distance in silence, my thought is less kidnapping and more drug addict or mental illness. It is not uncommon for mentally ill elders to somehow wander out of their nursing homes or away from their carers. Op was definitely right calling people to come pick her up if that's the case. Where I live, for awhile there were "Have you seen this man?" posters on my commute because of this exact scenario. He had dementia and had wandered out of the home.

[@shiftychaos]

That last story is terrifying. Sounds either like the woman had a mental break or some kind of trafficking scheme. Op was so right to leave her there.

[@abiean222]

right? that whole story i was thinking that it would fit in another subreddit. like those ones where they tell of real experiences where people just barely avoided getting murdered.

[@nna_]

​@@abiean222it's giving r/letsnotmeet

[@miyawedaplayer1237]

That was my first thought too. May I suggest she also might have been on drugs.

[@Alex-fd9fi]

I was about to go to sleep then I heard that story

[@QuayHollywood]

I thought this, but then also, thought, this is the start of a ghost story, and when the fire department would get there, no one would be there (I watch too much tv)

[@foxxifoxxian8412]

The last story is scary. My mom once brought home a homeless old woman.. she gave me so many off vibes, but to my mom she was just "a harmless little old lady". Turns out that "harmless" old woman had assaulted several homeless shelter staff members, and was banned from the homeless shelter and police were looking for her. No one is harmless, and the woman was smart to listen to her senses. Who knows what that strange woman could have done, she could have killed her and stolen her car or something.

[@somethinunameit637]

I felt like if that old woman was harmless, then her several goons in the woods were not.

[@ajjms4715]

Story 1: if op is up to it, they could probably be AMAZING foster parents for younger children, which might help fulfill that want for grandchildren

[@TiffWaffles]

They might be considered too old for foster children. I knew so many couples that wanted to adopt/foster children when they were in their late forties-mid fifties, and they were denied based solely upon their age. Only one couple pushed for it and took things to court (I think? I could be mistaken because I was a young child myself at the time) and they finally were granted permission by CAS to foster a child who was separated from the rest of her siblings, and was considered 'a problem'. They were amazing parents and I think that they were trying to get the rest of the siblings, but we lost contact when I moved away with my mum to another area in my province.

[@ajjms4715]

I’m pretty sure that all adults who pass criminal background checks and meet a few specifications (things like having food and having a reliable source of food) may foster, and if they’re denied that based solely on age, that’s illegal on a federal level, because it would count as discrimination. I may be wrong, but I think that that’s true in the USA.

[@ToastyNoneofyourbusiness]

8:38 thing is, even pets have boundaries. And they don't have the ability to say "no," so they have to tell you "no" by biting or scratching. If I try to pet my cat when he doesn't want to be touched, he swats at me. If i continue to press, he gets his claws out. Rightfully so, because I pushed his boundaries.

[@RealCoolstriker64]

This! Dogs are loving creatures but even they have limits. It is very important to understand when *any* animal is telling you to “back off” because those signals are as kind as they physically can be about it. Always teach kids that if the little doggie is running away from them, to leave it alone. My parents always framed it as “if you let him come to you, and leave when he wants to, he’ll feel safe to come to you more.” Which is both true, AND easier for a kid to understand.

[@sadpotato3386]

I completely agree! This is something I try to tell my family... I have a lovely maltese/yorkie mix, and he let's me know if he isn't okay by growling, banking, snapping/biting (but doesn't actually bite hard). He has a bed that if he's in, I leave him alone. If it's a living animal, human or not, it has boundaries that should be respected.. and if you don't know them, you ain't listening.

[@JosieJOK]

Any creature has a limit. I don’t think it’s a good thing to train children that they have to accept affection from any and every person who offers it. Can be dangerous in today’s world.

[@kranberry3318]

“Well yeah but who cares about boundaries? If a kid tells you no, that means they’re a bad kid and you beat the disobedience out of them. If a pet growls or snaps at you, that means they’re aggressive and need to be put down. Simple as that!” -OP’s wife’s yoga friend, probably

[@ArcanineEspeon]

Yeah! I was like, "wait a second, some people wouldn't even treat pets like that!"

[@oliviastevens9156]

So... anyone else worried about the story 3 mom friend's possible kids when she mentioned that she'd "Correct" behavior she thought was disobedient? Such as setting a boundary?

[@Kat-queenofnerds]

yup. we got an entitled/abusive parent in the making there for sure

[@lorilancaster5917]

Please let’s hope that’s hypothetically and she hasn’t spawned!

[@kryw10]

If she thinks that not wanting her special magic grown up hug is “disobedience,” she’s got some serious boundary and interpersonal issues. Scary lady.

[@chrisaizen3678]

I was more worried that she would force a kid to hug a stranger/friend. She was extremely pushy as an adult trying to hug a seven year old. Just seems like odd behavior.

[@richardtaveras3593]

Yeah whenever I hear someone say “he/she is lucky they aren’t my kid” it sounds incredibly weird and concerning

[@Tenacitybrit]

That third story is way worse than it looks at first. When a normal person is declined physical affection like that, the first thing they'd do is ask why or what's wrong. Not get annoyed that the other person has boundaries. That woman has all the hall marks of an abuser and needs a closer eye on her, not just an A hole score. I give her 2 out of 5 for being insensitive about other peoples boundaries, regardless of what their age is. But if she were to really act on her statement to 'correct' her own kid's behaviour (Assuming she has kids.) That goes up to 4 out of 5. Supernanny even has an episode where the parents couldn't understand why their kids didn't want to hug other adults, Jo Frost didn't correct the kids on that front, she just educated the parents on why the children didn't like it. Apparently its a thing in some places in America (Don't know if its true across the whole country) where children are expected to show affection to everyone who walks in their home, regardless of whether they want to or not. Kind of toxic if you ask me.

[@kai7526]

"Apparently its a thing in some places in America .. where children are expected to show affection regardless of whether they want to or not." Because it's the "Polite thing to do" when Auntie Ester or Uncle Dave visits and if the kids don't the visitor will usually say "Aw come on give Auntie/ Uncle a hug please?" and if the kids still refuse the visitor will just grab the kids into a hug anyway

[@KattoTang]

It's super toxic, as well as dangerous. It basically teaches kids learned helplessness and that they aren't allowed to say no to people touching their bodies. Parents like that are setting their kids up to be abused and assaulted, in childhood but also possibly into adulthood. But parents like that don't even think about that since they're too busy treating their kids like property and trying to control them.

[@Wendy_O._Koopa]

"Abusive" is the polite word for it, this is straight up rape culture. I know hugging isn't rape, but teaching kids that their boundaries mean nothing, and you don't care when relatives break said boundaries sets an awful precedent.

[@sassyghost_8]

I saw that episode and I totally agree. Treating children like they have no boundaries to respect leads to issues in the long run not just in their mental health but in their future relationships. My family has boundary issues and me and one of my cousins were really susceptible to it and it’s caused the issues stated above. My cousin gave up on being his own person because he was so coddled and has no life skills and I’ve been fighting my mom for years to have control over my life without her interfering. OP is a good dad and he’s teaching his son something more valuable than people may think.

[@sassyghost_8]

@@KattoTang You couldn’t have written that better. Can confirm it effects adulthood and the relationships you create.

[@peepopopo7140]

👏RESPECT👏CHILDREN'S👏BODILY👏AUTONOMY (and older people's too, of course) Seriously, good dad for teaching the kid boundaries, bad friend for thinking she's entitled to a hug from a random kid.

[@randyboyd6705]

My daughters mother had a C-section 3 days before my first father's day. We got to bring our daughter home on father's day. I spent that whole day taking care of everything, putting away groceries we bought when she went into labor (nonperishable), keeping an eye on our baby except for feedings (breast fed), cleaning up our apartment, taking care of all her needs as she needed help she just brought my baby into this world. I wasn't going to complain about doing work on father's day for my kid, she's the reason I have that day for me, for us.

[@MusicalMachineEtc]

Thank you. Rslash's take on this story is so harsh and unnecessarily cruel. We don't know what she's done for previous Father's Days and she's doing her best to help with what she can. She's in pain, also sleep deprived, and potentially dealing with postpartum depression. To put a want over your partner's needs is awful.

[@klocugh12]

It's not hard, money was supposed to be for grandkids. There will be no grandkids, sooooooooo...

[@myopinion69420]

exactly. it was essentially going to be for OP's enjoyment and it still is. they were going to enjoy watching their grandkids grow and knowing they would have a good start at life, now they are going to enjoy seeing the world and taking it easier instead.

[@Nerobyrne]

100% she only got her tubes tied because she thought she would then get all the money. What an entitled brat. Also dumb, I would have been able to find out if they'd give me the money BEFORE making an irreversible procedure.

[@myopinion69420]

@@Nerobyrne it can potentially be reversed. that is if she even got it done, she may have just said she did to convince the parents to fork over the money.

[@JHyde-tv3if]

@@Nerobyrne Tied tubes CAN reverse and I agree with the other comment, she may not have actually done it. IVF is also still an option though

[@Nerobyrne]

@@myopinion69420 Yeah people say that these procedures can be reversed, but honestly I wouldn't bet on it. Generally, get them with the full intent of NOT reversing them.

[@petefcferris]

Story 6: 0/5 AHs, 5/5 survival instincts.

[@madeline6951]

Story 1: Your body, your choice, your consequences. Nothing wrong with not having kids, but the parents were exceptionally clear on what the money was supposed to be used for.

[@qdllc]

I wonder if daughter’s anger was because she got her tubes tied thinking it would mean the money would come to her and now she can’t have kids.

[@user-bf3ko2dg8d]

@@qdllc that was my exact thought. She was thinking tubes tied means payday.

[@nathanmcbow158]

@@qdllc If that is the case, I would not be surprised but i would be extremely appalled. That is a level of manipulation that is so sociopathic I can not even begin to comprehend it.

[@AdaireKrickets]

​@qdllc I think it's because the parents are showing a lot of love and care to non existing people. Idk, I get annoyed when my parents are more concerned about grandkids they'll never have, than have ever thought about for me or my siblings the actual living children they shunned. I'd really like to hear the daughter's side of it, otherwise we are making too many assumptions.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

The snotty way she and her friends are acting, I'd leave everything to charity.

[@kristashafer93098]

Story 3 got to me. If a man wanted to hug a girl who didn’t want to hug him and he tried to pressure her to hug him anyway, that would be called out and rightfully so. Boys and men have the same rights to bodily autonomy and boundaries as girls and women. I have a Great Niece and a Great Nephew both on the spectrum. I am an affectionate person, I absolutely love hugs. I will sometimes ask for or offer hugs to them but if they indicate they don’t want to, I back off so they see me respecting their boundaries. Good on OP for defending his son’s boundaries! A+ dadding!!

[@GoddessOfThree]

Are we gonna talk about how that woman considers a HUG as nothing more than a command that must be "obeyed"?! Like wtf???

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 4 R/ asked a very good question, why is it OP's fault that she forgot her vitamins? You can't get more from the store, and you have to drive all the way back to pick up something she forgot? Like what an incredibly rude and entitled thing to demand from someone who has nothing to do with it.

[@asmith8692]

My sister once forgot her supplement when we were hundreds of miles from home. She knew what stores stocked them and had me pick them up.

[@queenofnoodles32]

I wonder if probiotics = drugs?

[@black1917]

The fact that she's so concerned about the "brand" tells how (un)important they are.

[@amberlindsey7112]

I always stress that I will forget something when I go on vacation. I always tell myself that as long as I have my medication I take them everything else can be purchased when I got there if forgotten. As long as it isn't medically necessary that can't be bought at the store then no big deal!

[@CenerothXaris]

@@queenofnoodles32 I was thinking that honestly or her at least not being honest. It's so weird to freak out over simple supplements like that.

[@SwanofWar]

I don't blame OP for being scared in that last story. TBH it sounds like she might have been bait for a sting. She was probably planted there to get people to let her in their car and had a tracker on her phone so that the other half of the sting could follow and rob OP. I've heard of such things happening before.

[@bigjalapeno7061]

Yea that is possible. I'm seeing other people say similar things and RSlash has also covered similar stories before

[@paiget6200]

That was my thoughts, that I bet she's a plant so she can rob op

[@abiean222]

the fact that when she got the "no" she shut down and waited is what makes me think that too. that and she ignored OP when they offered to call for professional help.

[@crimsonflareumbreon1290]

The story was kinda give bit of serial killer vibes

[@bigjalapeno7061]

@@crimsonflareumbreon1290 Maybe

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 1: from what you explained she was never going to get any of that money, it was strictly for any future grandkids. I don't get why she thought you were going to just hand it over to her. Now she'll get whatever is left when you guys pass away, it's your money you can do whatever you want with it she's not owed any of it.

[@lorilancaster5917]

Very true. However while I appreciate OPs and his wife’s transparency, I think they should’ve only told their daughter about the fund if she got pregnant

[@CloudyNight2156]

Entitled parent mentality: It's for my kids therefore it's for me. She just thankfully skipped the having kids stepp of the process.

[@Love2Banime]

@@lorilancaster5917no no. Even if they told her and IF she did get kids, she will more than likely take the money for herself behind their back.

[@stephaniemorrigan3039]

Am I the only one who was thinking she actually decided not to have kids assuming she would get that money instead?

[@CloudyNight2156]

@stephaniemorrigan3039 nope! I thought the same thing.

[@thestainmorephoenix8632]

Story #2: I can understand where everyone comes from, but you have to remember, everything came up last minute and here's the thing-it's timing, not planned. I still remember my grandfather telling me about the time he sacrificed one Father's day to be there for his family, who had been dealing with the loss of a pet. He said "There's always another Father's day, but there's never another loved one". Honestly, remember that or you should honestly re-evaluate your life.

[@Nathannbo]

Story 2: when you’re both not sleeping well no one makes rational decisions.

[@mellow3995]

Wow that father's day story bummed me out, that guy needs a vacation at the minimum

[@lorilancaster5917]

And how OP brushes off his feelings since he didn’t have a c section. I’m wondering if OP was bed ridden why did she bother to pick something off the floor? Also what is going on if OP has been recovering for a month and little to no progress appears with her wound?

[@GiordanDiodato]

​@@lorilancaster5917you act like OP can do something when she can't

[@Rosy345c]

​@@GiordanDiodato YES SHE CAN!!! She can call someone up (a family or a friend) to help her out for a day while her husband rest.

[@miniman649]

​@@GiordanDiodatoshe can do something. She just don't want to.

[@akl2k7]

​@GiordanDiodato Well, she can call someone to take care of the older kids for a bit, order Uber Eats from her husband's favorite restaurant, and give him some time for himself. It's not like she'll tear her stomach open from operating her phone.

[@TonySamedi]

Ya know, normally I hate the "flip the genders" stuff, but just imagine a man demanding that a little girl hug him, and saying how he'd 'correct that behavior' when he's told no. Also, a dude going "Yeah, it was mothers day, but I just had surgery, so I didn't do anything but get her some food she had to cook herself. Then when she was ticked off I didn't do anything and told me about it, I made her feel bad for making me feel bad"

[@dragonfliesnh4204]

Unfortunately I know this parent who would force his daughter and son hug people even when they didn't want to, even men. This is very inappropriate and children shouldn't be forced to have their bodies touched if they are uncomfortable, even something like a hug. Kids can also pick up things about people that adults can't see or overlook. They could be uncomfortable for a reason especially if they were ever alone with that person and something happened.

[@kranberry3318]

Yeah the dude in that hypothetical scenario is the AH for doing nothing and making his wife feel bad for being sad about a shitty Mother’s Day, just like the actual story where the woman is the AH for doing nothing and making her husband feel bad for being sad about a shitty Father’s Day. Gender swap on that changes nothing.

[@Milk-ck1wv]

I've witnessed and been apart of the first situation and it doesn't change just because the roles are reversed. It's normal in most american families atleast and polite to hug all family members no matter the sex.

[@dragonfliesnh4204]

@@Milk-ck1wv It's so uncomfortable to see that, in my opinion! I'm so glad my parents NEVER made us hug people we didn't want to. It's not right for kids to be forced to if they don't want to and kids should have say in this as it's their body. It's also awkward to hug a relative that you only see once a year or less and you don't really know, even for many adults.

[@ivantheunknown4545]

Im sorry, but Im curious. Why do you normaly hate the "flip the genders"?

[@BlueberryBlanket]

Story 2: I have a chronic condition that puts me on bed rest occasionally, and it's very easy to fall into a victim mentality when that happens. You rely on your partner so much that you think of yourself as powerless, so you become powerless. OP needs to start thinking about what she can do instead of what she can't.

[@Ikajo]

She is recovering from surgery though. Her husband is only doing the work that a lot of new moms have to do. No help, no acknowledgement. Switch the genders and it becomes different.

[@TQuinn-yy9wy]

​@@Ikajo Switch the genders and everyone would have been jumping down that guys throat too

[@horatioprout429]

​@@Ikajoyour reply is coming off as kind of misogynistic saying that this is the woman's job and they're expected to do it without help. If both parents are present and healthy enough they should take care of the kids so he isn't doing the job of new mothers he's doing the job of new SINGLE mothers

[@ultimatetrashpotato2751]

@@horatioprout429 i dont think theyre being mysoginistic or saying that its the womans job to take care of the kids, its just reality, that a lot of new moms do 90% of the work when it comes to taking care of a baby

[@Ikajo]

@@horatioprout429 I'm saying that if you switch the genders, people's reactions would be different. No one would react to a wife taking on the lion share of responsibilities, yet people are patting the husband on the shoulder for doing what is expected of him.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: the comments for this story bugged me. They all said "get a babysitter" as if it wasn't FATHER'S DAY. That's means that anyone who is not working is celebrating with their own families. Where did this idea come from that Father's Day or Mother's Day was the day in which the parent got the day off? No, it's for the kids to spend the day with the dad and to celebrate and be appreciated. She still recovering from major fucking surgery and just had a baby. Shes not in a great colscr either.

[@mhammer3186]

Or you know call their parents to come help. People are annoyed with HOW she acted not with her being unable to physically do stuff. The poor guy is doing everything for everyone and she even acknowledges that he’s getting burnt out. She knows what her physical limitations are. She acts as if she can’t do anything when we live in a digital age and can contact just about anyone from her bed.

[@harryblockser]

I think Rslash kind of went a bit far on this one because I think there's not really much that she could have done especially if she recently had a surgery. being in constant pain can make your brain a bit fuzzy also saying "just ask your parents " is kinda dumb. like wouldn't they be doing something els?

[@danni1650]

I really thought Rslash was gonna say “Ha but luckily for me I’m married, I can look at all the tits I want” rather then using a VPN 😅

[@JB-ew6pi]

Last story: Nope. That lady had other intentions. You did the right thing.

[@nikitatavernitilitvynova]

This is what my mom loves to say about jokes: "It ain't a joke if the other person isn't laughing." because jokes are supposed to be funny and that wasn't funny at all if the wife lost her smile at that. And you can tell if it's a "annoyed" type of joke by their grumpy look. Almost like: "I get the joke but it isn't funny" type of way.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Yup. Not to mention that 99% of the time a comment about someone's weight isn't going to be funny to them.

[@treehugger0241]

I always say a similar thing: the difference between a joke and bullying is how the _target_ reacts.

[@DarkMagicianGirlYT]

Some jokes are ment to be unironically funny like what fish is lonely,an albalone or something like that,harassment on the other hand isn't a joke

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 3: so the kid is a terrible child because he wasn't in the mood to show affection? You're right he is lucky not to have a mom like that, one that thinks it's appropriate to punish a child for just not being in a good mood, enforcing affection out of people instead of just giving them the space they need.

[@AngelinaParker]

"one that thinks it's appropriate to punish a child for just not being in a good mood" sounds like my father growing up. Negative emotions was forbidden in my childhood household. If I showed any sign of anger or sadness I'd be called "hateful" and yelled at. I cried and my mother was always "stop crying" too so both of my parents punished me for having negative emotions. Still to this day I struggle with anger and depression and see it as like a tumor I should remove instead of it being a normal body part like it is. Emotions other than "happy and horny" is something gross to me and very unnecessary. But I'm learning it's okay to feel negative , I still hate it though.

[@GoddessOfThree]

@@AngelinaParker That sounds SO toxic, wtf???

[@AmariT]

Story 2: I mostly agree with you. I was thinking the same exact thing that she should have asked someone to take care of the kids or hired a sitter (even if it was one who was there while they were also home) to give her husband a bit of a break. I think you're underestimating the emotional and mental toll of having just given birth / had a c-section though. You acknowledged the physical toll, but it can be hard to think too when you're in pain, and there's definitely a lot of emotional turmoil going on with hormones in that time period. Getting mad at her for crying when her husband is upset, for example, seems a little too harsh. And maybe she was just so tired / in pain that she couldn't come up with what seem like simple, obvious ideas like hiring a sitter. I don't think anyone was really the asshole in this situation. Yeah, she could have / should have done more, but she just had major surgery. Give her a break. And I absolutely do not blame the husband for having a bit of a breakdown. He seems like a great husband who is stressed and overworked and needs a break. Hopefully the wife can find a good way to celebrate him when everything's a bit more settled and she's feeling better.

[@angelayala3124]

Yeah, it sounds like it's mostly just a really unfortunate situation for them both

[@EmilyLennoxchannel]

Yes! They are both sleep deprived and living in survival mode which takes a toll on everyone. They both need a good night's rest and a break from all the kids. I don't think anyone was in the wrong, just overwhelmed parents in survival mode that need a break

[@joshwilson9981]

Yeah, I think her having a 3.0 is way off. She's going through so much, they can make him feel more celebrated another time. Everyone is just being overworked in this situation, not only the dad.

[@leopardbutterfly1914]

I can’t help but think- they have older kids- has the mom received the same treatment in the past on Mothers Day? The husband could certainly be the AH- Not enough info here!

[@mhammer3186]

@@leopardbutterfly1914but she did say that previously he got her a 6 hour spa package and took the older kids out so she’d have some peace and quiet. Why are you trying to make it so where the husband is at fault??

[@bonafidecatlover3443]

That last story is literally some SCP/Skinwalker encounter lmfao

[@ViraIshnia]

Man, I WISH I had parents who made sure family and friends respected my boundaries. I HATE being hugged. One of my dad's sisters knew this and decided that bear hugging me was appropriate. I would just stand there and take it. One time she told me she wouldn't let go until I hugged her back so I started struggling to get away. My parents knew how much I hated this and did nothing about it. After that incident, I made sure I wasn't around when my dad's sister was

[@your_local_questerian]

I sometimes accept hugs, but ONLY if they ask and ONLY if it's my family or friends. Most of the time, if I tell them no, they respect my boundaries. That's EXACTLY how it should be instead of people not respecting others.

[@InteriorDesignStudent]

My bio mom used hugs as weapons. She knew I absolutely hated her sweat smell, so she'd grab me and force me into a one-sided hug. And if I did not go along with it, she'd start tickling me. I hate to be tickled. She knew that too. She was a sadist and a narcissist.

[@ViraIshnia]

@@your_local_questerian most people I tell do respect my boundaries. It was mostly just my dad's sister and I don't talk to her anymore

[@IsYitzach]

Story 3: woman that child did not disobey you. Hugs are optional. You can fluff off.

[@hackbodies]

The second story, I'd suggest calling up the grandparents or good friends of whichever side and try to give him at least a weekend to himself to unwind. Just being able to sleep in late on a sunday would make him feel great.

[@Ikajo]

It is easy to find solutions in hindsight after all. The husband could have communicated his thoughts earlier on, OP could have thought a few more steps. At the same time, she gave birth a month prior, with major surgery that won't heal properly. If you flipped the genders, most people would defend OP no doubt. Because a lot of moms have to carry the whole family and household. Also... Father's Day was invented to make people buy stuff. A complete marketing ploy. My family never bothered with Mother's Day or Father's Day.

[@Mewse1203]

The comments on that story were fucking stupid. They all kept saying basically what you were saying except they wanted to do it on Father's Day. Like who's going to be available on Father's Day to babysit? The people not working are celebrating with their own fucking families. Where did this idea come from that fathers and mothers day is the day that that parent gets the day off? That day is always literally been the kids with the help of the spouse showing up parent how much they love them and spending time with them. It's literally never been "I'm a dad/mom. this is my day so I don't have to deal with my kids today." But yeah, OP does need to organize some time off for the guy, and she could have done more than she did, but she's still recovering from major surgery and just had a baby. She's not in a great place either.

[@BryanLu0]

​@@Mewse1203Not everyone gets every holiday off... And I think the grandparents would be happy to help considering that it is their grandchildren and OP had recently given birth.

[@Mewse1203]

@BryanLu0 "not everyone gets every holiday off" Yeah....hence the "the people not working are celebrating..." As far as grandparents go, you could be right, but you're also assuming they're not busy. Same applies to them. They could be working or busy. But you also ignored my last paragraph completely where OP is barely post partum and is having a hard time recovering from major surgery. She's not in a great place. I don't know if you've ever had to deal with either, but both, by themselves, can cause significant issues. Dealing with them together? That would be awful. Combine that with her recovery being set back on multiple occasions including THAT DAY and just the general pain of it all, and it's no surprise her brain isn't exactly focusing on what's good for him.

[@shounenaiaddict98]

Story 5: I'm all for body positivity in men and what not, but Tom really needs to learn that if he can dish it, he should be able to take it too 😐 besides, even if it isn't ops business, it's also her friend and defending her when necessary IS her business

[@BunnyQueen97]

Story 2: NAH but dad needs a break, and I agree OP could have been more thoughtful ❤ a lot of people don’t get that a c-section is a SERIOUS surgery, they cut you open layer by layer and pull all your organs out to get to the baby. She’s recovering from that, and he’s drowning under the weight of the entire family day after day - the problem is definitely that they aren’t communicating about it. He can’t just hold it in until he explodes, either!

[@mhammer3186]

But at the same time what else can he do? He let it out a bit and had to do even more work to comfort his wife.

[@suitdoggy4707]

@@mhammer3186 Key point he apologized she didn't.

[@GoThroughTheEvermore]

Yeah cap, as a c-section mom who’s 4 months PP it’s still extremely hard to do some stuff, y’all need to chill and realize that c-sections are literally LIFE threatening, and if she pops one single stitch air can enter her body cavity and cause severe infection 😒

[@mikea491]

She could have had a friend help or hired a babysitter or done anything at all. I get the steaks, but he needs to cook them. It's a nice gift, don't get me wrong, but it's a gift that co tributes to burnout. She was thoughtless, not helpless.

[@fishbowl5308]

@@GoThroughTheEvermore good job proving the point. It is life threatening but you can't oh I don't know try to see if the grandparents might want to take the kids for a bit on Father's day so that the guy who's been doing everything sense the c section can get a break for an hour. He hadn't complained he stepped up and yet he still is shown to be the least important part of that family.

[@TJDious]

OP5: Very suspicious behavior. OP was right to refuse her.

[@horatioprout429]

Yeah it was probably attempted theft in the best case scenario

[@ryudragonuv]

Story 1: 0/5 Money was for grandkids, plain and simple. Story 2: 2.5/5 While understandable OP was hurt, it feels like the bare-minimum--no, LESS than that. Story 3: 0/5 No means no. Period. That lady is crazy to think you can force a kid to hug if they dont want. Story 4: 0/5 It's somehow YOUR fault the wife forgot something? If she's such a massive health-nut that she has to have a VERY specific thing, then it's on HER to remember them. Story 5: 0/5 Dude wants to dis his wife on public? Poke fun at her with comments like that? Nah. Same energy right back at him. Story 6: 0/5 Based on what I've read/listened from r/letsnotmeet it seems likely that was an attempted kidnapping or worse. Feign distress, get a sucker and boom. Bye-bye OP. Good call on calling F&R.

[@Rj-ij6ko]

Last Story: Soo…we all agree that this is how a lot of horror movies start right….? Yeah NTA Op you made the right decision

[@forza1sra]

Story 5 was a perfect example of "don't throw stones from a house made of glass".

[@wendy-zarate]

For story #3 about the boy who didn't want to hug. It's so weird how we tell kids not to talk to strangers yet this woman (a complete stranger to him) is in his house pretty much demanding a hug. That boy is lucky to have his dad stick up for him. Just cause he's a child doesn't mean he has to hug everyone. Come on lady!

[@RealCoolstriker64]

That last story: she was deff nuts, and NOT in the karen way we typically see here. Honestly, this story is 1 horrifying news broadcast revelation away from being on “let’s not meet”

[@crimsonflareumbreon1290]

Did you also get serial killer vibes from that story cause bro how she was there no car and no nothing seem pretty horrifying

[@BunnyQueen97]

Story 1: if the $350,000 had been intended as a gift for the daughter when she had kids, this would make sense. Maybe they need to explain to her that the money was ONLY intended for college and life costs of the grandkids specifically. If OP and his wife saved that much for their grandkids, they DEFINITELY had a college fund and everything else for their daughter. She just sounds spoiled 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@amaeliss7827]

We don't know if they had a college fund for her. If she didn't, then she's not the asshole because it means her parents loved the idea of her kids more than they love her. If she did, then yeah

[@amaeliss7827]

@@frith.calluna agreed

[@Piman1607]

Even so, id say the parent are a 3/5. They say they arent forcing their daughter into stuff, but her knowing there is a substantial monetary reward for having kids is definitely manipulative.

[@amaeliss7827]

@@Piman1607 3 seems high, but I completely agree. To me this is an ESH

[@tnadg9521]

I don’t understand. They are still ALIVE! Why is the daughter asking or expecting a handout. She’s an adult. She’s not struggling. Why is she mad her parents are not giving her 350K? She knew the parents were saving money to help her out IF she had kids. Everyone knows kids are expensive. If you want extra money, WORK!

[@gilded_lady]

Story 2: OP doesn't get a pass because she's a mom. I couldn't agree more with Dabney. Dad deserved so much more.

[@lorilancaster5917]

I agree. I wonder if they have family nearby who can help? I keep hoping for an update which OP takes these comments to heart, talk to husband and apologize, and find a means to where childcare can be managed while spouse and wife recover

[@TheMizAngel]

It's ridiculous to expect people to do things for you. Just because you're a parent, you chose to have. Children. You don't deserve a special Day just because you have kids period

[@TheLordofMetroids]

​@@TheMizAngelDo you celebrate birthdays? It's just as ridiculous to expect a special day because you're a parent as it is to expect a special day because you were born right?

[@Dani-zd5ew]

​@TheMizAngel ok so neither does op then. Hope you keep the same energy. Keep that same energy with birthdays, you don't deserve a celebration simply for existing, with your logic. Being a parent is a difficult job, they deserve recognition for the hard work they do, even if it's *their job*

[@gilded_lady]

@TheMizAngel It's not about a party. Its the fact that this guy is keeping the entire household afloat while mom recovers and mom couldn't manage anything more than watching kids make cards and adding an extra item to her online grocery order. What he was asking for - a sitter or even just an hour of quiet family time - was completely reasonable.

[@adamlivesay1973]

5th story: "Keep your nose out of our business" said by literally every single abusive partner in history. This why we DONT "mind your own business". If you see something, say something! Being marked as slightly the bad guy is far worse than learning later that the person was actually being abused, and you saw the signs but did nothing to stop it. If the people around don't give you help for it, I'm sure your own subconscious will. ALWAYS speak up if you suspect abuse. It is never worth staying silent.

[@wakeangel2001]

Also, on the porn thing, my personal experience with "age verification" is that every time you try that some hacker steals your identity, I'm pretty sure Virginia will repeal the law when millions of citizens make insurance claims for stolen identities at the same time

[@itsOasus]

Story 1 didn't go the way I thought it was going to go. I was glad that OP respected his daughter's decision, and very disappointed in his daughter's entitlement. The fact that she saw the money as hers actually makes me glad she decided to not have kids. She wouldn't have been mature enough to handle it. NTA OP.

[@azizcalva-navarro6170]

And you have to think what she'll spend the money on...

[@hiroshi7025]

@@azizcalva-navarro6170 Probably just trips and some for her future like house and stuff. From her reactions, I'd wager she had a very basic plan in head already.

[@crazyinsane500]

She got her tubes tied in a scheme to get that 350k, under the assumption that if she didn't have kids then it'd default to her. That is deranged, not just immature.

[@soogymoogi]

​@@crazyinsane500um, what makes you think she just doesn't want kids...? Whether or not she's acting entitled about the money now, I seriously don't think she made such a permanent reproductive decision just to get her parents money lmao

[@azizcalva-navarro6170]

@@crazyinsane500 And we are certain OP's daughter got her tubes tied? For all we know she lied and maybe forged medical documents to sell it fully, she just wanted to have that money without the one condition and responsibilities that come with it.

[@DaniTheDeer]

Everyone always comments on the stories, but can I just say that is probably the most convincing ad for a VPN I've ever heard.

[@shockedrat4627]

Caught me off guard lol

[@timothyricard7078]

The same law recently passed here in Mississippi, apparently.

[@kg5626]

I didn't imagine I would ever hear Dabney say titties but instead he said it like 5 times.

[@trashpile9496]

Rslash’s wife: 👁👄👁

[@albertotequida6964]

The ad is funny, it remainded me of the ads from Mr Ballen

[@lostshadows768]

Story 2: Frankly, OP and her husband should have discussed rescheduling Father's Day before the baby came. Even if she'd healed super quick, they'd still have had a month old baby. Story 3: NTA and pets should also have their boundaries respected. Story 4: Does the wife or one of her friends have a side hustle/small business selling these things? The "it has to be this exact type and the store won't have them" attitude has brainwashy mlm vibes all over it. Story 5: NTA and keep lines of communication open with this friend. She may need a safe place to go when she leaves him. Story 6: NTA, especially since you summoned help for her. Not sure if she was rude or having issues from the story, but, either way, leaving it to professionals to sort out seems like the best choice.

[@test-kf2zv]

VERY good point that OP even got professionals to her.

[@jasminebonomolo3193]

Your take on story two!! Yes!! They both knew they were having a baby! They should have set expectations ahead of time!

[@Arzeena1990]

Story 2: i also think op could have done more.... she literally did nothing for him.

[@mariposa9506]

@@Arzeena1990 No she had the kids make cards and ordered good quality meat. It's not much, but it's not literally nothing.

[@Hiimreggie]

​@@mariposa9506my dad missing a whole leg and the other one badly damaged went above and beyond for my mother and my mother mother no matter how much pain she was in she usually gave him at least a few hours a break

[@kudukilla]

Father’s Day story: get used to that kind of treatment. Mother’s Day: Zales sales, Father’s Day: Target has cargo shorts on sale. Probiotics: better and cheaper to just get live culture yogurt.

[@lunawolf2068]

Second story: I get not being able to fully attend to someone on their special day. Our family lives in the middle of nowhere and between health crises, work, the farm and a bunch of other things. I literally was scheduled for surgery on my birthday! Do you know what we did? We celebrate on a different day! In fact we always celebrate Mother’s Day on a different day because mum loves to eat out in the town an hour away but on Mother’s Day it’s just way too busy to drive an hour, wait who knows how long for food in an overcrowded area. So instead we wait a day or two and then spend the entire day doing whatever she wants!

[@VengefulT]

Last story: Mans found an npc with 5 lines of dialogue

[@GeminiKN7]

Lmao, that ad transition at the end killed me. Your dad humor grows stronger by the day.

[@LucyAdroit]

Right 😂😂😂

[@firasathuda8742]

i was confused as to why the f he was talking about titties

[@charleerain1936]

"she just had a baby. what's your excuse?" perfect response. nta op

[@sassysavageshannon6205]

Regarding the c-section mother being immobile several days not being able to do literally nothing after the surgery, Nothing but lay around all day every day while hubby works and cooks and cleans and takes care of kids and baby… I had 4 c-sections and was walking around the next day and taking care of my kids and cooking for them the second day home because my husband who worked out of town and wasn’t allowed paternity leave had to drive the six hours to work and was gone Monday through Friday because there was no decent jobs in our small town in construction. I had no help and drs said to keep active but not overstrain myself. My last child was harder because I was a lot older and still had three older kids to tend to but I still did it. It hurt yeah, hurt like hell most of the time for the first week… but i would never ever act like I couldn’t do literally nothing. My hubs took over on weekends giving me a break. OPs wife is just being lazy and wining taking advantage of OP. I feel Sorry for OP.

[@jerkofalltrades5430]

Best. VPN. Ad. Ever. And the woman at the rest stop was probably a scout for a bunch of thieves that dropped her off there and were just waiting for a text.

[@Xelniad]

Last Story: "AITA for denying an older woman shelter from a storm?" Me: .............Isn't that how Beauty and the Beast begins?

[@briangarrow448]

That Father’s Day story reminds me of a couple of Father’s Day that I had before I got divorced. Yes, mom couldn’t do anything physical, but she really showed that her husband didn’t matter. In my case, the lack of any effort on Father’s by my ex was a message that I didn’t pick up on. The last straw was when I didn’t get anything at Christmas- except the notification that I had to move out by the end of January.

[@The-R-System]

sounds like a misandrist

[@MegaMinerd]

That guest in story 3 is like "I'd teach my son that no doesn't mean no. What could possibly go wrong?"

[@lorilancaster5917]

And where does this woman get off believing that just because she is older, can’t say adult with her attitude, that she is entitled to have authority over a child’s wants and the parenting of OP and his wife?

[@Kat-queenofnerds]

whats worse is she isnt even family, but still expects the kid to hug her. when i was that age, if i didnt know you really well and i wasn't comfortable with you, you werent getting anywhere near me. thats just basic smart boundaries and stranger danger. The dad was 100% right to back up his kid

[@MegaMinerd]

I probably wouldn't've even shook hands at that age.

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@MegaMinerdI likely would’ve waved, said hello, and went my merry way.

[@Stefisgarden]

Right? I would have looked her dead in the eye(or maybe not, because I'm autistic and eye contact is ehhhh) and said, "So you want to ignore his no, violate his consent, and touch his body without his permission?" And hopefully then she would have gotten it. But with the "correct that behavior" comment, I seriously doubt even that would have driven it into her thick skull.

[@ShowSlideProductions]

After hearing so many stories about parents dismissing or getting mad after kids for not wanting kids of their own, those parents in the first story seemed like some of the most loving and understanding parents on Reddit, and that daughter is willing to throw it away for money.

[@shard8285]

Story 2: While i agree that more could have been done for Father Day, i think R/slash was way to harsh on the poor women.

[@sailorstar3148]

Yeah, when a person just had surgery that has to recover for a month when they say they can’t do anything they LITERALLY can’t do anything because any movement will hurt worse, or mess up their stitches

[@Etienne.6329]

@@sailorstar3148yeah and you can bet she has been sleeping horribly for a while and it’s hard to think straight or plan anything when this happens

[@friendlyneighborhoodhater]

Except she's done nothing but healing, so it's kind of insane how she's victimizing herself as if she can't get on a phone to plan things. Like. She's on bed rest. Not immobilized. Be fr

[@sailorstar3148]

@@friendlyneighborhoodhater this is gonna sound mean, but her health is more important than him right now because he should’ve known that he would still be recovering even on Father’s Day. She still brought something for him beforehand, so why is r/slash and other people acting like she didn’t do anything for him

[@leopardbutterfly1914]

PLUS if he doesn’t do anything on Mother’s Day (which we don’t know) then he’s definitely the AH.

[@silverflight01]

Story 5: Again, that is not a joke, that is literally an insult. He even does the whole "It was just a joke, can you not take a joke" response when OP decided to throw one back. It's called Schrödinger's D-bag where people will use the "Joke" excuse when they say something really bad, like an insult, and get called out for it

[@lorilancaster5917]

And tell someone to mind their business when they mock someone right in front of them. I also think the bf needs a conversation about she won’t stand by as someone she cares about is being insulted and that she hopes her loved ones would bat for her as well

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

@@lorilancaster5917 yeah like what? this isn't some random couple walking past you on the street, this is her best friend! of course it's her business.

[@jessicadriver1636]

Just a (literally) big case of a bully who can dish it but can't take it. Not only that but it kinda makes you wonder what big old tom is doing behind his wife's back.

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@jessicadriver1636and his projecting since he knows his knock out wife is out of his league even with just having a baby. Tom needs to work on himself in ever way

[@matthewprier4340]

This gives me some red flags for abuse. Wife is cowed, husband does not like being challenged to the point of confrontation. Especially the whole not your business part, like, what "business"? It was a witty response to a snarky comment, not an investigation into their relationship. I might be overly sensitive, but it just sounds so familiar to me sadly.

[@seekeroftruth6728]

2ns Story - OP sounds like the type of wife that wants to be spoiled on HER Bday, Valentine's day, etc., but does jack for her husband on HIS bday, Valentine's, etc.

[@deborahdicesare9042]

OP has known for months when Fathers Day was. She could have pre planned a number of things for him.

[@dimsufferer9951]

That would involve needing to give a shit about her husband

[@hitmonkey2984]

Considering she got 6 hours in a spa. Yeah. He could have had an outing with a buddy or two to fish/golf/play cards whatever, and she would have looked like a hero. Instead, this. This is what he gets, guilt tripped.

[@deborahdicesare9042]

@@hitmonkey2984 She couldn’t even allow him to be vulnerable, she just had to play the victim.

[@crimsonflareumbreon1290]

She literally could’ve called her parents or his parents or a sitter but chooses not to like Bro he didn’t even need the full day just a hour to himself

[@hitmonkey2984]

@@deborahdicesare9042 I know. It's called soft power. Just by turning on the water works, he's feeling guilty for her behavior or lack of effort.

[@metademetra]

Story one: I have the sinking feeling that even if OP's daughter DID have kids, they'd never see a dime of that money. It's probably better she has no kids, otherwise they might be suing their mom about now.

[@jeremiahsmith2037]

The daughter in the first story deserves a higher score simply for bullying her parents on the internet.

[@filipe.sm31]

Yeah, I can't believe Dabney missed that

[@Josh_the_jester]

Story 1: it really just boils down to is there was a will, or inheritance agreement, and OP did say that the money was intended for their future grandchildren, not their children, their grandchildren to get ahead start in life for school, clothes, food, and even a garnish for collage or uni. OP didn't intend for that money to go to their daughter, it was ment for her (never to be) kids

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 2: okay I'm not going to kick you while you're down because I have no idea what it's like to heal from getting a C-section, and I believed you when you said you were to her to move, but what concerns me is your lack of sympathy when you saw your husband finally break down from taking care of the house and kids and wanting one day to himself but not getting it. At the beginning of the polls you sounded like you understood how hard he's working and how stress he is but when you have a chance to talk to him about it, your response was well what am I supposed to do? No one in that state of mind need to hear excuses they need some emotional support.

[@Reuraku]

He didn't even ask for a day he asked for an hour.

[@TJDious]

More "dads don't matter" BS. Probably takes the big piece of chicken too.

[@nicholassanabria6493]

I’m in the same position. My mom had a C section when she had me and my dad took care of me when I was in the hospital because I was born with health issues

[@crimsonflareumbreon1290]

I do agree she doesn’t need to bash but she really need to show more emotional support to him instead of making excuse

[@paden1865able]

I wonder if the nurses made her get out of bed eight hours after her surgery. They did that with me because getting your abdominal muscles moving again helps to get your intestines working properly again. I'm grateful they had that policy.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 2 yta I heard this one before. Like op said her husband is losing weight from stress. She could have ordered take out so he wouldn't have to cook. He just wanted one hour of rest.

[@Batman-lg2zj]

I disagree with you .

[@mizal321]

​@Batman-lg2zj why do you disagree exactly?

[@hiroshi7025]

@@Batman-lg2zj That happens. You'll get over it. ✌️

[@mizal321]

​@Batman-lg2zj because all I see is her throwing a pity party for herself. I understand she had a c section, but she did NOTHING she's lazy and unappreciative

[@MrDoverfield]

@@Batman-lg2zjI disagree with you

[@franciscojaviermendezrinco1902]

First story: NTA. Why does she want the money? Is OP and OP's wife's money, she has no say about how OP and his wife use it. Maybe she thought "I want the money but not the responsability that comes with it. I know, I'll just demand it, my parents will surely give it because if it was for the kids I don't want so is basically mine now." She showed her greed.

[@lizabee7791]

Last story: I feel like the woman was having some sort of manic/psychotic episode so calling emergency services was a good idea

[@leealvarado81]

I think we should give the second story a little grace, it sounds like she’s going through post partum depression on top of recovering from her c-section. It sounds like both her and her husband need some time to heal. Definitely need to reach out to parents or family to step in and give them a much needed break. The husband sounds like an awesome guy, and the wife sounds like she’s barley hanging on right now.

[@izraelburgess937]

It sounds like he’s barely hanging on tok . Yes , she definitely deserves some grace but think about this . She has him supporting her . Who is supporting him ?

[@leealvarado81]

@@izraelburgess937 I completely agree, and I see your point. I just don’t think calling a woman who’s just gone through one of the hardest things imaginable “a bad wife” she can’t help what her body does and she can’t help how her mind handles the postpartum pain. This is a lose/lose situation that needs outside help. I think that OP and her husband are way over their heads right now. He absolutely needs a break and time to decompress from all of this.

[@mousem7071]

Def too hard on her maybe a soft .5 score or a soft 1. 1 month you still have baby hormones running through you, your body is recovering yes they are both stressed but you know even though it's his day he could have arranged a sitter too. Reschedule the day this is but one father's day in a sea of them, some will suck but most will be good.

[@mhammer3186]

@@mousem7071I think 3/5 is too high but I think 1/5 is a little low for her just having to arrange childcare for a hour or two so he’s allowed to rest too. It sounds like everything has been on him and he’s just getting overwhelmed without any support. Like all she had to do was arrange one of their parents to come take the kids for a few hours or get a babysitter so he can actually relax.

[@TiffWaffles]

I wonder if mum and her husband should get somebody in there to help out for the day? It's hard to heal when you feel stressed out and your mental health isn't where it usually is due to change in hormones, etc. The husband is an amazing person, but he sounds like he's about to break. Maybe they should look into hiring somebody to help around the house, take care of the children until mum is healthy enough to take over and dad doesn't feel like everything is on his shoulders.

[@wadehansen3085]

Maybe its just my diet of horror media but that last story gives me vibes of like some creepy ghost "trying to get home" or some creature looking to be invoted into an enclosed space or something

[@tiaralp6813]

Right?! That sounded like every ghost story I've ever heard! Like, she lost her life years ago to a storm and is forced to seek shelter to this day!

[@Ramtamtama]

Story 4: If it was something like insulin, anticonvulsants, epipen, anticoagulants, or any other prescription-only medication, then you'd need to go get it. Probiotics, however, aren't medically necessary and can afford to be left for a few days, and who's fault was it that she forgot to pick them up before leaving the house? Story 5: I've got a friend who had a child about 4 years ago, and she hasn't lost all her "baby weight" yet. She doesn't want to. Her fella doesn't care because she's healthy, the kid is healthy, and he's... into it (by no means a bad thing). Plus she's still absof'inglutely gorgeous and has the exact same attitude as before.

[@TemariNaraannaschatz]

As someone with severe health issues let me tell you: just because not taking it doesn't kill you does not mean it's unnecessary. If I don't take my medication I won't die, but I will be in agnoy the entire time and get eczema outbreaks that take weeks to heal. However I would definitly go to the local pharmacy before I'd even consider driving back home and would probably take an alternative if they don't have the exact one I have or ask the pharmacy if they can order mine.

[@noranizaazmi6523]

Story 5: Slay honestly (your friend)

[@makii7408]

​@@TemariNaraannaschatz but we're talking about probiotics here, not some super important medication to keep conditions and pain at bay, pro biotic can help restore the natural balance of bacteria in your gut (including your stomach and intestines) when it's been disrupted by an illness or treatment, but as far as I've found it's not really something necessary to keep you out of agony, there's basically no way she would've been in any considerable pain when not taking her probiotics for 2 days..

[@TemariNaraannaschatz]

@@makii7408 I know what I was talking about and I meant it. Even something as seemingly unimportant as probiotics can cause cronic health outbreaks for known conditions and those take far longer to go away than to appear. But I have to say, I agree with the amount of people who think it's drugs if she needs the exact ones from home.

[@SorceressRin]

@makii7408 Constipation is generally uncomfortable and can be quite painful. Travelling long distances and not having good gut health are triggers. Also, I doubt it was even so much about the probiotics. It sounds more like she had a concern, he belittle and invalidated it, and she went into a panic spiral that she couldn't pull herself out of

[@mamakitty6549]

Story 3: I'm also teaching my kid that they don't have to touch anyone they don't want to. That's a great way of having your kids not tell you if they are being abused.... I'd kick her out too.

[@amusingmouse]

Story 2 - RSLASH, I completely disagree with you about your take on the dad in the Father's Day story. A grown man expecting his one-month postpartum wife to deal with a holiday is asking too much. If I was in that senerio and Mother's Day had fallen a month after I gave birth and my husband was the one recovering from major surgery, I would have felt like a child if I'd had expectations of him planning anything for that day. Taking care of your children and your partner's needs (not wants) are what motherhood and fatherhood are about in a family. It is not about over commercialized meaningless holidays. She is one month out from giving birth AND a surgery that she wasn't healing quickly from while in the same household as a three and five year old. Damn. Men just DO NOT understand.

[@sailorstar3148]

I know there are people in this comment section telling their stories about how their mom or their wife work through that kind of pain. Well, I understand but that doesn’t mean that everyone can work through the pain recovering from their surgery people still have their limits and if they can do something or move much because their stitches will tear then they still have to recover. Honestly, I would feel terrible if I let my partner do things while they are still in pain from their surgery.

[@LLandS18]

She could type an entire Reddit story. She could Uber eat dinner and she could have ordered a gift off Amazon. They would have wrapped it for and delivered it to her front door. She could have picked up the phone and called the family member to see if someone could come help. She's recovering from surgery. She's not in a coma. Come on.

[@DieHardAnimeOtaku15]

That last story started to sound like the set up to one of those myths where the protagonist meets a lady in need of help and she turns out to be a goddess and helps OP out. Unfortunately, that lady just turned out to be a Karen

[@KayBbyXOXOXO]

Highkey I don’t have much sympathy for the mom. She could have easily had a conversation where they set reasonable expectations, ordering food, order him a gift, and maybe tried to get the kids into the bedroom with some supplies and watched movies for a few hours while he had time to himself

[@CELERITAS-BONITAS]

He could have done the same. All he did for mothers day was order one ticket for a spa. No other effort or planning. She spent just as much effort but isn't a mind reader

[@lara7927]

@@CELERITAS-BONITAS " She spent just as much effort" WHERE?? i understand that she is immobile but there's a shit ton of things she could've arranged or at least made an effort to arrange, but she did basically nothing. the husband had to cook, clean, take care of the kids, take care of her and what bout him? he ate frozen pizza and got a "card". be fr, after doing everything for his family, the least he deserves is an hour of peace and quite

[@Twylyght2020]

​@CELERITAS-BONITAS Yes, all he did was give her a ticket to spend a nice, quiet day being pampered at a spa. What do you think he was doing all that time while she was away? He was taking care of the kids! She got a few hours away from the house to rest and relax. What did he get? A card and raw steaks that he would have to cook himself. She put no effort into thinking of a good Father's Day for him. I wouldn't be surprised if this wasn't the first time she half assed it for him even before the C section.

[@CELERITAS-BONITAS]

@@Twylyght2020 the big difference is that he was able bodied at the time. She wasn't

[@harrypotter2700]

@@CELERITAS-BONITASShe still could have told him that they’d have to celebrate another day, put in some thought if the physical aspect is off the table for now. “Hey babe I’m sorry I can’t do much this Father’s Day but we can celebrate when I’m healed.” Takes ten seconds and shows appreciation. You’re either single or a shitty partner if you genuinely don’t see a problem.

[@juanhaines7295]

Last story nta she sounded really unhinged. Also op did call people to go get her. So not in the wrong.

[@lorilancaster5917]

That woman was very shady. I’m surprised OP even said that was her car.

[@liamzakhaev]

@@lorilancaster5917 it was the only car there, no use lying

[@MusizKanuck]

Makes me wonder if that woman was having some sort of manic episode and wandered off from somewhere. Good on OP for calling fire and rescue because that woman definitely needed help.

[@iridescentsolace]

I commented somewhere but it’s very reminiscent of kidnapping tactics to me tbh, op did the right thing and even tried to do more by offering to call someone but Nah I wouldn’t have let her come near me

[@andreachristenson7069]

@@MusizKanuckthat was my thought, too. That she was having some kind of episode or breakdown. Fixation on that one thing, repetition, thousand yard stare. Glad OP called for help.

[@CELERITAS-BONITAS]

Story 2... She birthed his children and risked her life. It's hard to be thoughtful when dealing with your own recovery. You could be sent to the ER if healing goes wrong. If he wanted something for fathers day he could ask, he could have planned a sitter or at least suggested it to the wife. It's good he brought up his feelings but he waited until he was screaming and exploding.. Crying is a healthy response. Yes she could have apologized and made assurances. In the hectic journey of raising children, things don't always happen on that day. Reschedule or have a special day another time.

[@GreenKnight1982]

Yeah because laying in bed doing absolutely nothing but healing since the C-section while he does absolutely everything is nothing not to mention it's not like she couldn't order something from ubereats or Amazon for him because that was way too stressful yet she could post on Reddit

[@Silverserri]

My Grandmother was an absolute monster. If I refused a kiss repeatedly, she would walk up, grab me, hold me tight so I couldn't get away, and bite my cheek, hard. Not to break the skin or make me bleed, but to make it hurt a LOT! That was the punishment for refusing a kiss on the cheek; you got bitten instead. Boundaries? Nope. You don't GET to have boundaries. Her word was law. You did what you were told because you HAD to do it, or else you were punished, usually through pain. Alzheimer's has set in, and I feel... nothing. Finding out a complete stranger got Alzheimer's makes me sad and sympathetic. I care less about her than a complete stranger.

[@LancerkingNoel]

The daughter in social media: OMG, can you believe this? I tied my tubes in order to have the money my parents sent aside for grandchildren college funds but now they are saying they are gonna repurpose it on themselves instead of giving it to me since they won't have grandkids! Now I am unable to have children and won't get the money I expected I would get instead of them! I hate my parent for being such entitled aholes

[@spydersoup8447]

Is this a real post from her? If so, this reminds me so much of the story about the one about OP having a daughter, her MIL making OP's husband turn against her and how at one point, he posted a reply to OP's post about OP being so controlling, which is really him complaining that he can't control her, how she's not the doormat he wants her to be and can't get her to do things he wants her to do when he wants her to do.

[@LancerkingNoel]

@@spydersoup8447 No, just trying to write the kind of thing she would post as complain

[@spydersoup8447]

@@LancerkingNoel OK. I don't think she would've included the 'in order to do this' bit because that would make her seem even more of the entitled one, perhaps instead include 'I've always suspected that my parents would still give me the money, even after my decision to not have kids, but it turns out they were punishing me for not having kids all this time', like, basically dress up the story to make it seem like her parents are the AHs and that they were ordering her to give them grandkids in exchange for money, like what so many AHs tend to do, and it seems like she's also been telling this version of the story to her friends as well to get them to talk trash about them.

[@redtailarts101]

Story 2: soft YTA. He has a right to be frustrated because he has a lot to do. He came and apologized and vented about his father's day. You should have said "I'm sorry, I really wish I would have been able to help more. You've been doing so much for this family. As soon as I'm more recovered I'll help again, and once I've fully recovered, I'm gonna give you a well deserved break." Not "what am I supposed to do?" That makes him feel underappreciated, and just makes him mad. You're dismissing his efforts, and his feelings of burnout and frustration, when you don't need to. The way you wrote this post gives him that recognition but you really should have communicated that to him. He needs to hear an "I'm so sorry you had to do so much work for father's day, I really would have loved to make it more special and I feel terrible." He needs to hear an "I know, being unable to help you while I watch you struggle with being a parent by yourself is frustrating for me too. I want to be by your side. I want to make it easier for you. I wish I could heal faster so I could." He needs to hear a "you do so much for us. You really do deserve a break. You're doing the work of two parents and I can't imagine how stressful that must be. I wasn't able to show it to you today as much as I wanted to, but you're truly such a wonderful father." If you had just been NICE to him it would have been a lot better. Instead you were rude.

[@dragonriderabens9761]

Men have emotional needs too something that is overlooked in society all too often a few simple words of encouragement and appreciation would have done a world of difference to brighten his day but no, instead she snapped when he was already at his wits end

[@redtailarts101]

@@dragonriderabens9761 True!! She had no excuse. Partners are supposed to take care of each other's needs, and that includes emotional needs. All she had to do was say she recognized his efforts, appreciated his work, wished she could help more, and agreed that he deserves a break and has a right to feel burnt out. If I was in that situation and my S/O came and apologized like he did, I would have said "no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you today. I felt worse than normal and I've felt guilty about not being able to make father's day great for you. You work so hard and you had a right to be frustrated. You're doing the work of 2 parents. If there's any way I can help you with the work load, I will. I think it's a great solution for the kids to go to your parents' house for a while. I hate being almost bedridden and not being able to help you much. I'll make it up to you as soon as I can. You're an incredible father and I'm sorry you didn't feel as appreciated as you deserved to today. Just know that I see your efforts and I couldn't be more appreciative for all that you do."

[@RealCoolstriker64]

How is that “soft”? If anything you just described why it should he a HARD YTA.

[@redtailarts101]

@@RealCoolstriker64 Because I don't think she was wrong to not do more, maybe she didn't think of the movie idea or to hire a babysitter, but she was wrong for being rude. Hard YTAs are for serious situations, not being snippy

[@Ikajo]

​@@redtailarts101I think they should have sat down together beforehand and planned the day. She isn't showing him enough appreciation, and he isn't considering her situation enough.

[@marcor815]

Story 5: Especially how Jenny reacted makes the husband the AH not Op. There are relationships were moking is a healthy part of it, but then the partners and friends are used to it and handle it different.

[@snacksonjackson1236]

Story 1: You guys know why the daughter was so upset right? She got her tubes tied on purpose to get the money. So she screwed herself over. Glad she is not having kids, i feel like she'd go full Karen mode.

[@snake5solid]

Story 1: NTA. She's not entitled to their money. Story 2: Lol, HE is doing the bare minimum. This is what bare minimum looks like. Taking care of your sick partner, caring for your kids, doing chores. He's not special or great for doing stuff that most women do and women get zero recognition for that unpaid labour. We are way too used to praising crappy partners for doing next to nothing that when stuff like this happens we see it like something amazing. If he wanted peace and quiet then maybe stop making more kids? He could've very easily arrange for a babysitter too or ask family for help much earlier. It's good that he apologized. OP is recovering, maybe even having PPD considering her reaction. She's NTA. Story 3: NTA, she's a CPS material. Story 4: What the hell is she using those probiotics for? I could understand needing it with medication but you don't need specific brand. And yeah, why is she flipping out and demanding OP goes? She's being stupid and she's AH. Honestly sounds like she just wanted a reason to ruin a vacation. Story 5: Yeah, he's an absolute AH. He's definitely emotionally abusing her. He's a failure and the only way he can feel better is to put down his wife. Story 6: I don't know if she was trying to do something illegal or if she is just mentally ill.

[@DoctaSalt]

“Luckily for me, I have- *A wife?* Express VPN!” *Oh yeah, that works too*

[@timothyricard7078]

A wife offers the additional advantages of not getting viruses.

[@madambutterfly1997]

Just because you're on bedrest doesn't mean you can't pull up your phone or computer and do something for him on Father's Day. Or has straining yourself cost you the use of your arms and your brain?

[@Aderla22]

One of he commenters asked why she is able to write a reddit post on fathers day, but can't look for a babysitter.

[@richardtaveras3593]

@@Aderla22and let me l, guess op never replied lol

[@alexanderhenby1362]

Uber eats and Grubhub exist she could have made an order to his favorite restaurant and made sure he didnt eat cold pizza. She could have hired a baby sitter or get someone to take the older kids for a few hours. Maybe send Dad and older kids to a movie or out to play putt putt. She had thousands of options and chose none of them.

[@crimsonflareumbreon1290]

@@Aderla22 did she ever reply?

[@mariposa9506]

Actually it probably I'd affecting her brain.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 3 nta people need to respect their boundaries and that some people don't want to be touched.

[@lorilancaster5917]

And OP called it. His son is not a pet nor does he have to disconnect from how he’s feeling just so a stranger can hug him

[@Kat-queenofnerds]

anyone who 'insists' on being hugged i find worrying. it makes me really suspicious of why exactly they want that physical contact so damn badly. especially if their not family

[@skaarphy5797]

Fun fact: In the EU it is illegal to sell probiotics with the claim that they're in any way good for your health. This is because any such claims must be founded on scientific data, and for probiotics no such exists. So far not a single study has been able to show that consuming them has any effect at all.

[@getpsychedreptiles]

Second story: I definitely agree his wife should’ve done something for him, and should’ve apologized and made plans for him after at the very least… but still, I’m not a fan of how much r/ went in on her. She just gave birth and her hormones are all over the place, plus she’s in pain, idk who she is on a personal level, but I think Reddit should be a more constructive place and less judgmental. It’s a lot to say she’s emotionally abusive because of behavior she displays in an extremely vulnerable state. This is just one story, we don’t know their marriage. And they’re both struggling so the analysis feels super unfair. Of course the husband deserved more, and maybe once she’s feeling better she’ll feel bad and make it up to him who knows, but r/ went a little far assuming the worst about a woman who just went through a really intense experience. I don’t know but this is the reason I left Reddit and only occasionally listen to this podcast. Way too aggressive on one story.

[@grannyka6934]

There IS pressure in the first story, intended or not. The daughter went her entire life seeing a growing bank account, but can only be touched for hypothetical kids. So OP unintentionally told her "I expect you to be straight and get pregnant." Also, her mom had medical complications with pregnancy, so what if she was infertile or had to endure miscarriages? Would the account open to cover those medical costs? I've been that daughter. I never got financial support for college or housing. But there was money for kids, which I decided not to have.

[@jazzichured5796]

This is what I’m saying like regardless if the kid was spoiled or not that money did not come out of nowhere. If this is an average middle class family that amount of money must have been growing up with her. I would like to see the daughter perspective cause that can tell a different side of the story from OP eyes. What if she’s in a bad place finance wise? Also even thought her tubes got tied she can still adopt kids or have a surrogate

[@RealCoolstriker64]

How? If she *did* have kids, she’d have the exact same access to that money she does right now: none.

[@Ikajo]

People seem to think pressure has to be overt in order to be real. Even just being disappointed by the lack of grandchildren can come across as pressure. In addition, everyone overestimate the control women have over their own reproduction. Getting any type of procedure can be nigh impossible. Especially permanent ones. Moreover, if the mom/wife had health issues related to reproduction, so could the daughter.

[@grannyka6934]

@RealCoolstriker64 For me, I just decided to work harder to not need to rely on that money once I was told I never would have access to it. My grandmother was the one to put the pressure on me. Every Christmas and birthday, I watched money go into such an account. No, I wasn't given an additional gift. I wasn't allowed to use it for myself (rent/housing/cars/medical) However, the money of my four cousins was allowed to furnish their parents' homes. The difference? I was the eldest grandchild, so I was more likely to give her great grandchildren while she's alive.

[@miniman649]

@@Ikajo "Even just being disappointed by the lack of grandchildren can come across as pressure." People who think like this can grow a spine. Others disappointment in not having grandchildren, while still 100 % approving of your choice to not have children, is not pressure. Like objectively so. If someone feels pressure from that, they are irrational.

[@C.J2547]

That last story is just a wtf scenario. NO and also leave me alone. OP was a real one for calling fire and rescue tho because she could've been mentally ill or something

[@survivedandthriving]

16:34 r/Slash, you get 0.5 buttholes for calling someone ~50 years old 'an old lady'...

[@Sorchia56]

😂😂 I heard that and was thinking ‘uh, I’m not THAT old!’. I’m 52.

[@survivedandthriving]

@@Sorchia56 I'm with you. I'm 50 and also not THAT old.

[@jaytothecee7449]

People are so weird about holidays, who even takes mother's day and fathers day that serious? I have to disagree, recovering from surgery of any kind let alone a c section is a physical AND mental recovery. Abdominal surgery at that is so intense, when I had my tubes removed I couldn't even sit up without help

[@DisneyFanatic2364]

Story 2: This is why my family always talks to each other about Mother's/Father's Day plans. Last time I asked Dad what he wanted, and he said all he wanted was to spend the day playing pickle ball, and Mom made him his favorite dinner and sugar-free brownies (he's diabetic). I guess his needs are simpler now that he's retired and we're all grown up. Still, the mom could've talked about what to do and I get the dad losing himself cuz he was clearly holding his frustrations in for a while. Both parents need breaks, that's what sitters are for.