Ruining The Greatest Showman for everyone

[@jessicaoutofthecloset]

Captions are uploaded! Thank you for your patience ❤

[@brooket2690]

At 35:16 you say "...that kind of schedule wouldn't even be conceivable for many disabled people" but the captions say "...that kind of schedule wouldn't even be thinkable for many disabled people." Perhaps it's a small thing, but I figured you might want to know. Thank you for this really well researched and presented video!

[@AmarisFrede]

The tangent where you were speaking with so many pauses almost made me cry, because that's how I sound when I fight back tears too. I wish I could reply something uplifting for you. You seem so wonderful, and like a good mom. I could never be you, and I hope that it isn't offensive to say I wish I could. At least seeing how you present yourself in these videos, I wish I could be more like you.

[@lyllydd]

I would love to get your take on Marvel's Echo.I just watched the first episode and I am loving the representation and Alaqua Cox's acting. Both actress and character were born deaf and have a limb difference. Both endured the hell of U.S. public schools, and Alaqua Cox has a lot to say on the subject.

[@moonlight_cat_27]

I already commented this but I'd thought I'd reply to this comment as well so you have a bigger chance of seeing it: 26:21 caption error here ("because pretty it's rare" instead of "because it's pretty rare")

[@Daelyah]

Thanks for everything you share with us, Jessica. You're a lovely person; you do what you can for your son, and it's appreciated how much you speak up about rampant ableism. Mallavora (editing to spell the artist's name correctly) has a song called "Disorder" that hits different, especially since the lead singer has dealt for too long with being told "you seem fine to me"-the whole song is about being enraged at ableism, and I always want to scream along, every time I hear it.

[@Ani-rq7wv]

I refused to watch the movie because I knew how much PT Barnum sucked. I cannot stand that the movie acts like he was the only person kind enough to hire disabled people/POC when in reality he was just one of many people exploiting them.

[@Ani-rq7wv]

Also on the topic of “preforming” disability, I have my first physical therapy appointment today and I’m dreading it a lot. I’m worried that my symptoms will be disregarded because I’ve gained weight as a result of my joint pain making physical activity difficult. I’m worried that if I seem like I know too much I’ll be written off as a hypochondriac or someone who saw a tiktok about a “rare” condition and decided I must have it.

[@annelie3452]

​@@Ani-rq7wv I've heard people say if you have an idea of a diagnosis, pretend like someone close to you actually thought of it. Like "my mother said I should get these symptoms checked out" and if you tell them you've had pain, couldn't move and gained weight as a result, they don't have reason to write it off xx best of luck today (and if you're not happy with the care you're getting, it's totally fine to choose another provider)

[@missvioletnightchild2515]

same, I knew how exploitative he was so didn't watch it and was shocked that so many people did

[@lilacsunset3848]

If it’s any comfort, I did not come away from the movie seeing him as a good guy

[@obliviousfantasy633]

This thing right here. Like...I still refuse to watch it. my Grandfather, however, FELT SAD HE COULDN'T TAKE ME TO THE ACTUAL SHOW??? 😶 Although I have to admit I do listen to "The Other Side" a it bc it's just... Got a good sound but it's kinda icky if you think about it.

[@willowiannetta923]

when your son grows up he won’t remember that you couldn’t play with him for as long, he’ll remember the times you did play, and how much you love him. that’s what really matters

[@justynmatlock8873]

He'll grow up knowing he has two fantastic Mums who love him.

[@Hair8Metal8Karen]

He'll also remember the times you sat in bed and read with him.

[@Bugg...0_o]

God I hope that's true. I didn't think when I started watching a video on the subject that this one is on that I was going to get hit with this. I'm really glad she brought it up, because it's something I struggle with often. On top of that she's also a member of the LGBTQ+, and she mentioned she also has multiple, often invisible conditions, and the toll that takes on you because people don't understand how the effects stack. It's like you need a (I'm just coming up with a number system for the purposes of this comment) level 5 illness to be disabled, but if you have 4 level 1, a level3, and 2 level 2, that puts you at more than twice the level to be seen as disabled, but people don't see. I literally am disabled and haven't worked for more than a decade but I haven't reapplied for disability because I have conditions that can either affect you mildly all the way to debilitate you, but I have no way to prove how badly they affect my life. And it's a catch 22, because any place I have to interact with about it are like "well, how do you take care of your child then?" So I'm either a crappy mother and disabled , or I'm a good mother but am lying about my conditions.

[@willowiannetta923]

@@Bugg...0_o that sounds so tough, i’m sorry. the fact that you’re worrying about being a good parent is what makes you a good parent in my book though. i can’t imagine how hard it is to juggle all of your conditions AND parenthood, but i believe you’ll get through it and both you and your children will be stronger for it 🩷

[@Bugg...0_o]

@@willowiannetta923 🫂

[@Tb40556]

I mean, the romantic ballad was a Black woman trying to explain racism to a white man who won’t take her concerns seriously, so-the bar was not high.

[@hailthequeenFM]

You could not have described Rewrite the Stars in a more succinct way.

[@ryangriffin5362]

it's the way that the extremely obvious problem with their relationship is the racism but that is never directly said out loud during the whole film.

[@yasminthespiritsinger7704]

Rewrite the Stars was about them both wanting to be together but they couldn’t because they are separated by class and by their races because of the times. Philip takes her concerns seriously but he still believes that they can move past them and be together. But Anne, who has witnessed so much discrimination, believes (understandably so) that they will be torn apart by this despite their love. I agree with the video above but Rewrite the Stars was about their Romeo/Juliet type thing caused by their economic differences and by their races. Like how Hugh Jackman’s and Michelle William’s characters were.

[@4thcutiemarkcrusader]

"I'm worried how we'll be seen as a public interacial couple" "But please??"

[@tabithayork9379]

As a disabled person, every one of your tangents is SO relatable. Inferiority Complex. Inspiration prn. Laziness. Conversations about having to prove our disabilities or explain them to strangers. It's all there. I've volunteered with Special Olympics since I was a kid - long before I was disabled. The year I showed up to an event in a wheelchair, no one batted an eyelash. Some of my disabled friends that knew me well asked what was going on with the chair. And when I told them that we didn't know, yet, what was wrong, everyone just nodded. They understood how this sort of thing goes. It literally made me cry to be finally so understood.

[@jessicaclakley3691]

I couldn’t imagine how much of an exhausting pain in the ass it is to be chronically misunderstood. Thank you for sharing

[@dopaminedrought395]

reading this comment is what made me cry now. I hope I get to experience that kind of understanding but I'm not holding my breath. I'm so tired of having to explain my existence at every turn

[@galaxyjam3742]

@@jessicaclakley3691 Theres something cathartic about an abled (I assume, if not nvm) person understanding it well enough to repeat the meaning back in their own words. Exhausting. Pain. Chronic. Misunderstood.

[@AylaWhitmer]

I once had an Uber driver say: "You don't look autistic and like you have bipolar disorder" these are both mental disabilities. I went off on him. I was having a really awaful day and I just wanted to get where I was going. I told him: "Don't say this to anybody with disabilities that cannot be seen or to anybody with disabilities that can be seen or just people with disabilities at all. It's rude and insensitive."

[@thekarret2066]

bruh, wat. How does someone "look" like they have bipolar disorder? I can understand [though not agree] that a person might have an ignorant idea of what a stereotypical person with autism might look like.... but literally what's the stereotypical image of someone bipolar? XDDD

[@AylaWhitmer]

@@thekarret2066 people with autism look like regular people. Neurotypical people confuse autism with down syndrome. So, people with autism and bipolar look like regular people.

[@thekarret2066]

@@AylaWhitmer Lol that's why I said I disagreed with them. I understand the ignorant and misinformed idea of what an autistic person is assumed to look like - and if they do get assumed to look like everyone else, then it would be the pop culture idea of the "nerdy" type like Sheldon Cooper or Abed, which I also disagree with - so any autistic person who doesn't conform to that would blow their ignorant mind away. But there's at least that stereotypical idea of what they would look like. Of course in reality they can look like anyone else in any different style and even have some decent social skills. But what the fuck even is the visual hallmark that pop culture has designated for bipolar disordered people? Do we all need to be missing an ear like Van Gogh? Stuck rapid cycling between laughing or crying constantly without stopping??? Are there physical characteristics ascribed to bipolar folks that I've never heard of? Subcultures they're thought to always be in? Like.... to my knowledge there's nothing at all for any of it... so, like... while they're still dumb and wrong for saying you don't look autistic, whatever amount of wrong and dumb they are for not understanding why that's a dumb and wrong statement.... they're infinitely more so for saying you don't look bipolar because there's not even a common, ingrained fabrication within pop culture of what a bipolar person is supposed to look like. At all. Narrow and false as it is, autistic people do have that, so I can understand he might be that ignorant and lazy to assume all autistic folks are like those stereotypes. But there are no physical stereotypes to bipolar folks, so what is he basing his "look", that he's so surprised you don't fit it, on?

[@Amarianee]

​@@thekarret2066 The stereotypical image is unmedicated celebrities 🙄 I get this crap _all the time_ if my diagnosis comes up. Yeah, I don't "look" like I'm bipolar, because I take my meds, and went through years of therapy to cope with my episodes, if/when they break through.

[@thekarret2066]

@@Amarianee I guess... but that still isn't a look; behaviors aren't looks, ya know? I would think "you don't act bipolar" would be more fitting in that case. Just like if an ignorant person like that meets an ADHD person who's not bouncing off the walls with energy and whatnot, I would think they'd be more likely to say "you don't act/seem like you have ADHD" or something like that. [again, just as ignorant a thing to say, but at least makes more sense for an ignorant person to say] I only had one episode so far, and it came with psychosis, so that was a trip, but yeah, I stay on my med and though I'm not really in therapy, I haven't had another episode since, so hopefully it stays that way. XDD There was one person who was surprised when I told them how I was in that state, and it was more like surprised because he wouldn't have suspected it since I'm back to reality, but most people I've told haven't reacted too strongly, at least directly to my face. Still haven't been told that I don't look or act bipolar. But I do get told by lots of people I come across very ADHD, so I want to get assessed for that. XD I've literally had a "SQUIRREL" moment. orz

[@MimiHitchcock]

It's nice to have it called out that saying: "They can do it, so anyone can!" is a bit toxic sometimes, because say if you have no disabilities, it can still be pretty discouraging when you try so hard and you can't, but all you're hearing is that you should be able to. So just imagine how toxic it can be when the group you're part of is meant to be exceptional but you're not that. You're *human* . It's a really toxic idea around disability, sadly society is just like that sometimes I guess.

[@Alalea17]

Yeah, putting pressure on everyone. And not even thinking about changing conditions for disabled people. Not even thinking that there are invisible, undiagnosed disabled people. Just overall vile D:

[@kwowka]

Abled people feel like they’re sooo smart when they say ‘the only disability in life is a bad attitude’ like no I can’t walk up stairs no positive thinking will create a lift out of thin air

[@victoriaanne6332]

My dad used to always tell me “they can swim so why can’t you?” When referring to a little kid or even someone with my disability. Of course what I know now that I didn’t then is my disability is a spectrum not a one size fits all and comparing mean to able bodied kids half my age is silly when I can’t do other things they can do because of my disability. I just thought I wasn’t trying hard enough or I was too scared.

[@twiggledowntown3564]

I've felt that way before. It's been around for quite some time.

[@KingOfGaymes]

That’s how I feel about driving, I’m “physically” able to but I have such high anxiety when it comes to driving that I simply cannot be trusted to control a car, yet I have family members who are like “You can drive, you’re just lazy” “When are you going to drive” (not really sure why they want someone who’s scared to drive on the roads..) and they bring up how even disabled people, specifically an uncle of mine in a wheelchair, can drive so they go “If he can do it, why can’t you?” I really hate how people (mostly older generations) think that if you’re not physically disabled then you’re “perfectly fine” and should be able to do anything. It’s frustrating and exhausting. (Sorry for ranting 😭)

[@fluuufffffy1514]

depicting disability as "inspiring" also tends to make a contest out of it, or pit different types of disabilities against one another. Like "Oh, you're StRuGGLinG with your ADHD? Well, look at that man without legs--he's doing fine!"

[@thewhiterabbitchaser]

I do this to myself all the time, thank you for this comment

[@WrenBailey-nr7lh]

Yeah, i feel seen by this, Thank you for taking the time to point this fact out

[@alisonredmiles6372]

I’m a single disabled mum. I can’t go to certain restaurants because the chairs hurt so much I can’t stand it and I often lose circulation to my legs and can’t walk or drive correctly afterwards. I can’t go to parks without proper seating or stay as long because the pain becomes unbearable. I can’t have people come over because the house is often a wreck because I can’t maintain the house to “normal” standards. The disabled mum guilt is so real. ❤️

[@jennifers5560]

❤

[@lilypudd]

Huggs. You take care of yourself and your kids first. After that it's all glitter!

[@Alalea17]

Yes. I mean if you not have thought about it, you can bring your own chair. At least in parksI think it is quite acceptable and you don't have to deal with to little space or something. There are quite light, foldable chairs out there... yeah based on quality and need it might be not so cheap and you need time to browse and find one that fits you, but I really recommend it, if you can make it happen

[@dasha_ucko]

Honestly, I think having a mom who loves you even if she can't physically take care of you all the time matters so much more in the long run than having a mom who can physically take care of you but doesn't provide any of your emotional needs.

[@madimoe8331]

Just love them and support them. That's all I've ever wanted from my mom.

[@emewyn]

Imagine if someone watched Simone Biles or Michael Phelps win gold in the olympics, and then got genuinely frustrated at you for not doing the same because you "just weren't trying hard enough." That's what it's like pointing at "inspiring" disabled people in order to tell other disabled people that they could and should try harder to "succeed." Like, not everyone has the right circumstances to be the next Stephen Hawking or a paralympian, assuming that they would even want to in the first place.

[@cammiehalliday757]

It’s a bit of complicated one. Martin Couney had a ‘sideshow’ on Coney Island where people paid to view premature babies in incubators who had been previously written off as ‘weaklings’ and because people were paying he didn’t charge the families for their care. It’s estimated that Couney saved 6,000 lives. I was an incubator as a baby it saved my life.

[@pattheplanter]

As a sideshow that was surely more playing on the sympathies of the audience rather than their prurient interest in freaks?

[@SylviaRustyFae]

But also they spec sought out impoverished women and got their babies for these exhibits bcuz they knew they wudntve to share profits or anythin The wealthier women who had preemies just shopped around until they found a hospital with one of these new machines and paid whatevs extra cost... And they got to visit their child, interact with their child, and be present for their child; to bond. The impoverished woman had no such opportunity, she cud pay tuppence to go gawk herself, but that was it rly Im not discountin the fact that this was vitally important to many families; just ptin out how its yet again an example of the failings of systems when it comes to marginalised ppls

[@SylviaRustyFae]

​@@pattheplanter I mean, kinda but not rly... They were indeed comin more than anythin to marvel at the tiny babies and how unusual these babies were

[@mkcatrona]

I had read that local hospitals didn't want to spend the money on the new and controversial technology, so he turned it into a display on Coney Island to get public support.

[@SylviaRustyFae]

@@mkcatrona Thats prty much it yes, except not every hospital didnt get it; it was just there they werent able to afford it. Which is why wealthier parents with a preemie baby cud travel somewhere to get proper care for their child in a hospital with an incubator and get far better care than the impoverished parents who had to go to Coney Island Notably, prior to incubators the survivability rate was in the low single digits for any baby born premature, even with the best of care possible at the time. So even tho on Coney Island they werent as effective they were in hospitals; they still took like a 1% chance and turned it to an over 50% chance of survival (over 80% in an incubator in a hospital even at the time) Coney Island did help to prove their efficacy and in time get those adopted by more hospitals in poorer areas; to the pt today where a hospital wudnt ever specialise in pregnancies without one, at least here in USA... Elsewhere, outside of more modernised countries; things arent always so easy

[@victoriaanne6332]

Regarding the “modern freak show” I can’t help but feel some reality tv shows exist to fulfill that societal need of witnessing “otherness” that existed in the 19th century and persists today. People still stand and stare when they see human beings who don’t fit their schema for “person”. There are reality tv shows which main premise is showcasing people with unique disabilities especially ones that are physically unusual. It all comes down to the fine line between “educating” and “sensationalizing”

[@chickensalad3535]

This is such a good point and very well put. I never thought about it in this way.

[@hailthequeenFM]

TLC is the poster child for this phenomenon.

[@PurpleAmharicCoffee]

True

[@hails1136]

especially those "my big fat life" shows and 90 day fiance. notice how there's no reality shows about middle class cishet skinny white families or men. they're all non-white, women, fat or disabled. they literally are modern day freak shows

[@ember9361]

Or, in most reality dramas, just people with mental illnesses

[@CrittersBeinCute]

I like using "Prawn" for the demonetizing word because it instantly makes many things hilarious out of context.

[@jennifers5560]

This is fantastic!

[@erraticonteuse]

Like the early days of getting around message board filters by saying "pr0n" 😂

[@theflyingspaget]

I have a crippling prawn addiction :'(

[@NoiseDay]

I personally prefer "corn"

[@abigailr.9601]

LOL I love that!!! [picture of shrimp] Society: Oh wow, so inspiring! 🥹

[@bottomthor]

my dad was physically disabled and i remember *very* fondly playing catch with beanbags with him in bed and me in the doorway when i was six your child will remember what you did do and the time you made i have acquired a disability myself later in life and it helps me to remember that- that what i *can* do for my loved ones is more important than what i *can't*

[@chadfalardeau5396]

I knew PT Barnum was a grade A asshole before I watched the movie. The only reason I watched it was because I like most of the cast. They should have put a disclaimer at the beginning though for those not aware.

[@yosoysoya7944]

I didn't know the history behind it before I watched it, so I did, but now looking back, I have to wonder how were the actors okay with tweaking history like that...

[@bumbabees]

i didnt even know pt barnum was a real person when i watched it in school. looking back, it astounds me they were totally cool with showing that to a bunch of impressionable children. especially considering some of those children were disabled -_-

[@Amarianee]

Couldn't agree more! They literally tried to rewrite history, and the comments on this thread only disprove the defenders who argue, "movies aren't history, calm down." When people don't already know history, it's beyond easy for people to take things, like this film, at face value, and believe the trash. Especially when there's no disclaimer in sight.

[@kae9793]

I watched the movie because I'd heard the music and loved it, (I didn't understand how awful of a person Barnum was yet, I was like 10) bit yeah, especially when he started creeping on the woman singing while doing laundry - I can't remember her name - I found it weird.

[@MissMoontree]

I'm annoyed they kept the name. Just change the name of the character and act like it is fully fictional

[@jennisfalling1379]

The Doctor Who complaints are actually insane if you actually WATCH the three episodes. The character is shown briefly standing at a desk and moving between chairs and it's not hidden in the background, it's pretty prominent. I really appreciated how clearly they wanted to show that disability is a range. The episode also has the villain manipulating people's minds so that they act on their most hateful, destructive impulses that exist somewhere in their mind. A sympathetic character has this happen and she lambasts the disabled character for being "secretly able to walk", and when she's brought back to her senses, she apologises and says that's not what she really thinks - people can have leftover biases that they know are incorrect and would never normally act on. So the show literally demonstrates how and why this thought of someone not being "really disabled" is wrong.

[@maddiewalsh3285]

I love how you talked about not wanting to explain to non-disabled people "what's wrong with you." As a disabled person, I find it exhausting that non-disabled people just expect us to be willing to share that information. Like can't we just exist without being bombarded with questions? Great video!

[@leilasmila]

As a non-disabled person with two friends with ME and a mother with a chronic knee injury, I am used to asking what assistance they need from me. And if I'm offering help to someone out and about, I might ask only what is relevant to the situation - but knowing anything else is completely unnecessary! I also don't understand why people think you should share just because they ask.

[@maddiewalsh3285]

​@@leilasmila Exactly! 💯

[@writeonshell]

The terrible/hilarious/sad/Idek anymore thing is I've got an invisible disability that has required a stack of invasive testing and surgeries over the years so TMI and boundaries have totally shifted for me over the years and I barely know what TMI is. I'll be talking to strangers and only realise I've gone so far beyond normal topics of conversation when they get the pikachu face going 😂😂😂 Long story short, for anyone curious, I have/had endometriosis, adenomyosis, PCOS, fibroids and a tilted uterus/misplaced cervix that made some of the normal testing that much harder - and left me naked and exposed on hospital beds more times that I can count. So yeah, dignity and modesty - what's that?

[@writeonshell]

Sorry, went off tangent there a little - my point was I tend to make people wish they hadn't asked me "what's wrong with you?" 😂😂 I had the same thing going through infertility struggles. The looks people give when your response is along the lines of "we've been trying but the doctors have told us the odds are impossible so even though I desperately want another" is kinda funny. They change topics super fast too more often than not.

[@eshbena]

@@writeonshell I'm Autistic and so I get the TMI thing a lot too. I miss social cues and it takes someone actively telling me that I need to stop talking about something for me to realize they are not as into the subject as I am. 😅 I have a host of physical ailments and disabilities as well and trying to explain it all is exhuasting, so I rarely bother.

[@centreoftheselights]

Celebrities with disability can set such inaccurate expectations. Money makes a huge difference! If I could pay someone to cook for me & clean my house, plus pay for every possible treatment to see what helps, then I too would be """achieving""" a lot more.

[@gretcheneddy2680]

Connecting to when you started talking about disability inferiority complex. I have this stupid thing where I either feel like I’m too disabled or not disabled enough. Like “I can hold down a job and I did really well in high school, I must be faking my disability” or “I can’t keep up in college and working a forty hour work week makes me physically ill because I don’t have the energy for it, but other disabled people can so I’m just being lazy”. I never feel justified in in accepting my limits as a disabled person and I also feel like an imposter calling myself disabled. It’s this weird dichotomy we’re I (and sometimes other people 😑) perceive myself as both too disable and not disabled enough. It’s incredibly frustrating and I wish it was acceptable to just be without having to be compared to others with the same disabilities. 24:20

[@zebraskin]

I've got a strong imposter syndrome going on. I'm neurodivergent, shockingly diagnosed ADHD as a kid in the 90s as a AFAB. I always knew this but not a lot about it, we just didn't really talk about it. When I had my kid I started understanding myself and realizing I'm probably on the spectrum too. When starting the process, and even now, I'm often like no maybe I'm not ND, especially when talking about it, like some stolen Valor type thing. Then I realize I'm also dyslexic and that falls under ND, and while it's not physical I can visually see how I am dyslexic so it's more vaild to me.

[@londonh1800]

I experienced the same thing. Diagnosed with physical and mental disorders when I was 21 and suffering in college, yet I had a fairly easy childhood and prior school life? It took my friends who are also disabled to validate my struggles and that actually kept me from becoming utterly depressed because of such intense imposter/perfectionism syndrome I felt. In the end I stopped blaming myself for what my conditions caused and find joy in advocating and working with disabled people as a career.

[@briarpelt2333]

Oh my god same. Just... same. It sucks.

[@kaleidoscopingme]

Literaly Same. Thanks for wording it cause I'm out of energy to do so.

[@DB-sc2hg]

I remember a principal I taught under, who questioned my time off work. I explained I don’t have to if I have a doctor’s certificate, but i will. I have endometriosis and can not function when the pain hits. She said it’s just period pain and not a disease. Told my doctor and he gave me pamphlets for her to read. She never questioned me again because my doctor worded a strong letter for her. Some people think they know better than doctors. Go figure!

[@mariannetfinches]

Your doctor sounds like a keeper! Glad the principal learned something 🙂

[@DimaRakesah]

Plus regular period pain can be excruciating too! When I was a teen I would get cramps so bad I would be curled up in a ball crying my eyes out. I hate when people don't take cramps seriously because I know how bad they can be. One time I had them really bad and my mother couldn't come get me so she sent my aunt and uncle. I got to the couch where they were going to have me lay down and barely made it to the bathroom before puking from the pain and nausea. Then I passed out on the couch for a few hours and slept like the dead. My mom confessed to me later that my aunt and uncle assumed I was faking it and admitted that, after seeing me, they were wrong. They never said it to me, though, just to my mom. Even cramps can be debilitating when they are bad enough!

[@PurplePandemonium]

I'm glad you've got a good dr! My gyne insisted I can't have endo due to all the hormone pills he's put me on. I was in excruciating pain for a year, and him trying literally every other option before he agreed to open me up, still claiming no endo. When I came around after the surgery he had to admit that he was wrong and I had level 2 endo. Never got an apology for the year of pain I went through. Yay cis yt male drs clearly knowing my body better than me 🙄

[@tatiana4050]

I like the "no amount of postive attitude is going to turn stairs into a ramp"

[@ladydainwinters8564]

I'm DID... and no where in modern media have I seen this portrayed honestly... we are often mixed up with Schizophrenia, which is also not often portrayed well. We are ironically less likely to be criminals then the normal population... but we are often a villain or criminal trope. It's disheartening.

[@crashb800]

From what I've heard, in terms of DID representation, Moon Knight is likely by far the best representation right now. That being said, I can't actually verify that because I don't have the condition myself, nor do I remember all the details about the show well enough to be able to honestly state how good it is at representation, but I do remember hearing about how the showrunners honestly tried to portray it properly. As far as being seen as criminals and being less likely to be such in real life, I'm pretty sure that's the case with literally every mental disability.

[@ladydainwinters8564]

@@crashb800 Unfortunately MoonKnight also mixed up multiple trauma disorders. We don't typically interact with our alters, and we don't hear voices. Yes it makes him the hero, and some does portrayed DID, but mixed it with other dissociative disorders and Schizophrenia. DID happens when abuse occurs during the first 8 years, while a human mind has not fully formed identity. For those of us living with it, it's often just confusing until diagnosed. All humans disassociate a little, for example highway hypnosis or daydreaming. How did you drive the car home when you remember nothing of it. Now you know kinda what it feels like when other pieces of us take over the body. "How did I get here and do that?" There are other Dissociative disorders that can happen later in life. So he had to be abused as a child to have full blown DID. And Split did DID no favors and more people name that when I state my disability, then an obscure comic book hero.

[@crashb800]

​@@ladydainwinters8564 Yea, from what I heard Split was just complete Hollywood nonsense.

[@TelevisionNTheatre]

I apologize, ranting ahead

[@RhythmsCompany.2]

The closest I've seen is the fifth season of the German remake of Skam called Druck. The main character doesn't have DID, but I THINK she has depersonalisation. Not the exact same thing, but at least they managed to get one of the dissociative disorders represented.

[@cappared]

It's amazing(ly sad) how similar some of the anti-knowledge book banning rhetoric around "making kids uncomfortable" when teaching genuine US history (and it's racism) is over here in the US to the ugly laws and other things discussed in this video. Oppression is intersectional too, unfortunately. Thanks for all your hard work on this one, definitely not a fun research topic. I appreciate you digesting the info and sharing it out.

[@enderwalkgang]

It's not making kids uncomfortable it's making adults uncomfy because oopsy their perfect country ain't so perfect

[@captaincaspian42]

It's not about making kids uncomfortable, it's about the kids learning the sins of their grandparents, who desperately try to cover up their bad deeds.

[@WrenBailey-nr7lh]

Yes, thank you! And yeah, America suck for this.

[@Anime_Phantasm]

One of my favorite things about your channel is that you do sometimes make videos on 'bad' days. You aren't afraid to admit that things aren't always rainbows and butterflies. Its ok to have a bad day, or a bad month or whatever. We are not all the carefully curated images that some influencers present online.

[@WrenBailey-nr7lh]

Exactly, it makes me feel like its ok to have a bad day too, A day where my writing just never hits the mark

[@dasha_ucko]

Finally someone calls them out! I've thought this for years and refused to watch the movie, but way too many people seem to completely ignore the dark history behind it.

[@CaliMel1111]

I just didn't find it an interesting subject, so haven't watched it either. It's really odd to me that people just think it's some fun musical and ignore the whole entire history behind it that is outright disturbing.

[@leavemealone802]

I don't think people ignore it. But the character Barnum is so different from the real one, is easier to see them as different things. We don't root for the real guy, or think the characters is true to reality The movie was inspired by the real guy, but that doesn't mean they are the same, get it

[@kepoki2865]

its kinda in the same way hamilton was so popular, it's pretty far removed from reality with the characters

[@an-genga]

I didn't think it was that great a movie anyway, and I wasn't exactly sure why until I watched this video. Something about how the only characters given a real story are Barnum and Bailey, the two "normal" people.

[@mkcatrona]

Besides Jessica, my favorite disabled "influencer" is Footless Jo (that's her channel name that she chose for herself). She's an amputee who speaks a lot about society's pressure and expectation on disabled people to be exceptional and how that impacts her life.

[@marciakelley5365]

I love Footless Jo!

[@waffles3629]

I love Footless Jo. She also has migraine and mental health issues, which are very relatable to me.

[@Checker_The_Bard]

Your last segment reminded me of how adamant my mom is about me getting surgery to "fix" my hearing loss when I'm older. I've told her many times I don't want to "fix it" but she doesn't get it. I've lived as long as I can remember with these silly little hearingaids in my ears and I don't want to suddenly have to hear everything all the time. I like being able to turn the sound off whenever I get overstimulated but she just doesn't understand that this is my normal. For context: When I was born the doctors put permanent tubes in my ears that I had surgically removed at the age of 5. The scar tissue caused my hearing loss. There's a surgery where doctors can go in and fix/remove scar tissue and broken bones to restore your hearing.

[@fumetsushinju]

I'm also hearing impaired and have worn hearing aids (all my life.) I also agree that my hearing disability gives me a lot of unintended benefits such as being able to sleep every night LOL.

[@Checker_The_Bard]

@@fumetsushinju it's so nice to be able to effectively press the mute button on the world lol

[@Amarianee]

This reminds me of Cooper (Beth & Coop). He full on just pulls his hearing aids off when he's done with the noise 😂 His mum has basically ended up with the mantra, "Coop, please don't yell, mommy can't take her ears off like you."

[@carrionflowers]

this is how i feel about my nearsightedness! because i obviously don't wear glasses to bed, i associate blurriness with some parts of my day and visual clarity with other parts, and i don't want everything to be so sharp 24/7, lol. taking off my glasses can also help sometimes when i have a headache, which might be related to overstimulation like your hearing.

[@sarahvanorden670]

I did not watch The Greatest Showman for about 3 years even though I love musicals because I have dwarfism, and living in the US I heard the stories about how he treated disabled people (mostly Tom Thumb, due to also having dwarfism) so when I finally watched it, nobody could quite understand why I said I hated the movie, I explained it to them and some understood, some still don't. I

[@tessalyyvuo1667]

Saarje Baartman basically experienced an actual verfied alien abduction. Taken in strange ships and subjected to uncomfortable and painful experiments by unfeeling beings from a distant world.

[@Saezimmerman]

“Why can’t you just tell us what is your disability?” This translates as to me “Why can’t you just share your private medical information with me so that I can tell you about some non-sense I saw on facebook?” - It’s so prying and entitled. I hate it.

[@Alalea17]

As a child with one disabled parent and myself disabled I can say: for mr this disability of my dad was the mooooooost normal thing ever. More normal than my own. Remember that when being disabled and a parent... you are the only parent(s) yout child has and you are the most wonderful, important and normal thing for that little being. If you give them love, I can no where imagine your child one day saying that you where a bad parent. I would bet tousands of dollars on this take

[@Olive-765]

The laziness part Sucks. If I ever hear someone say "if you just applied yourself..." as an adult now they're going to get an earful. Because wow, thanks, that IS applying myself. Its frustrating when people don't understand when someone already is pushing themself to do something

[@sampepper7682]

Jessica I really have to say that your videos have helped me so much. I'm now towards the end of the process of an EDS diagnosis(Just waiting for my genetic testing appointment which has been a whole problem in itself) and you have helped keep me motivated and optimistic this whole time. You were talking about how you meet these people who say "Oh my friend with EDS is a champion rower"(I actually had to stop rowing because of joint pain) but to me you are the impressive one. I have never really thought about myself as an adult with kids, happily married with a job that I love and that can accommodate for my needs. You are the person that I want to be in the future. You posted a video where you used arm crutches and still dressed like a disney princess and the next day I had the confidence to finally start looking for mobility aids for myself. I see you living happily with your wife and son and I have hope that I will find someone who loves me too, no matter that I'm queer or disabled. Your videos have been such a light in my life and helped me on my journey in so many ways that I can't even begin to explain or properly word but thank you

[@jennifers5560]

❤

[@lmeeken]

♥️♥️♥️ Also remember that you have worth, are worthy of love, and are a human being, even if your family, your professional life, and your wardrobe don't end up looking like JFK's KZbin presentation of those things!

[@hypnoamber3248]

I'm a disabled mom with a potpourri of disabilities both visible and invisible, as well as LBGTQ (into vintage) and I am so very happy to find your channel. I felt that tangent deep in my soul, and my joints too from the mention of the cold. I really like your essay style and I will be back.

[@blortmeister]

Come for the fashion, stay for the historical critique. Love these videos, Jessica!

[@Amarianee]

She is so fashionable 😆 The accent just adds to the beauty lol 💜

[@sarajelas8902]

The comparison of people with the same or similar disabilities, especially by people close to them, is such a fascinating (in a bad way) thing to me. My father was a diabetic and diabetes left him fully blind, with a prostetic leg and dependant on dialysis (+ 37 additional diagnosis reaching from minor to major) and had to listen to "oh, but other blind people..." and "other amputees..." from people close to him and it broke my heart every time. He was described as a medical miracle by doctors cause he lived so many years longer than anyone could have expected and yet it somehow wasn't "enough" for some. Disabled people shouldn't be expected to perform miracles to be respected and treated equally. Just existing is more than enough

[@eileene8836]

My own mum is guilty of telling me about people she meets that have the same condition as me while forgetting that I have several weird co-morbidities that make things different from others. If I had a dollar for every time I heard "Have you tried...?", I wouldn't have needed to spend the last 3 years fighting for disability, with no end in sight. Thank you for all you research and hard work that goes into your videos. I always learn so much and feel less alone.

[@Sophie_Cleverly]

I definitely understand the disability inferiority thing, I've had that a lot. In fact, I have had it from this channel 😅 I was like "how can Jessica cope with being a KZbinr? Or with the idea of having more than one kid - when I can't imagine being able to do that at all?" but the more I thought about it, the more I realised that I'm a unique person with a particular set of disabilities and neurodivergences that interact in different ways. So my life experience is just going to be different than everyone else's, even people who have similar things. Case in point - I have had people say they feel the same about me and the fact that I have *one* kid, or that I've been able to do exercise in recent years. And those were things I thought I'd never be able to do. Honestly, all I can say is that disability is a weird time and we all need to be kinder to ourselves 😂❤

[@eev14]

As someone with Hashimoto's I can absolutely say that not everyone even with the same disability experiences the same amount of symptoms or difficulties, I've had Hashimoto's since at least age 11 and it's impacted my life in a lot of different ways, I wasn't taken seriously as a teen and my primary physician didn't bother to do any basic blood tests until I was 13, then it took until I was 15 before I got the actual diagnosis of Hashimoto's, in the meantime I'd gone years untreated/unmedicated and I was told my thyroid looked like 'swiss cheese' after a sonogram at the age of 15, so before I even reached adulthood my thyroid had become as good as non-functional. Essentially my body had gone through hell and then I started getting life threatening infections for several years causing me to end up in hospital for a week 4 times within the span of 2 years. Then there's the chronic atypical migraines I have (about half of the month I have migraine symptoms, I have nerve pain in addition to my migraines). So seeing Gigi Hadid has Hashimoto's only makes me feel horrible about myself since most people with Hashi's have serious trouble keeping any weight off, but if it's caught early enough and you get the right treatment it might barely have any impact on your life, but for those of us that have been dismissed/ignored by doctors and people around us the disease has far more consequences. I really hate this narrative of "this person has X disease too, so if they can be skinny/physically able/full of energy you could too", it's not that simple. Also because environment and support systems can strongly impact how your disease progresses or how many symptoms become an obstruction to your daily life. Not being taken seriously for how badly Hashimoto's was impacting my weight led to me developing bulimia later on for example, and that certainly didn't help my health but years of being scrutinized and dismissed left me feeling like I wasn't going to be taken seriously unless I was thin and starving, it took a lot of work and reaching out for support to get to a point where I can find a place in life with my chronic health issues.

[@eshbena]

I am so sorry that your doctors didn't take you seriously. I hope things are going better for you now.

[@eev14]

@@eshbena Yes in some ways, I get taken seriously by my current neurologist and psychiatrist at least, my primary physician is kind of a hasty and skeptical person so I never feel comfortable around him but I really try to stand up for myself when necessary. My health issues are continuous work, I change pills, habits, therapies and manage unavoidable symptoms in all sorts of ways. I know my body a lot better nowadays so that's a good thing.

[@charsol2389]

I had a similar experience with my Hashimoto’s and was ignored so long that when they did finally listen my thyroid was completely non functional. I had every symptom possible and even medicated, some of them persist and affect my life. The frustrating thing is 3 of my 4 siblings were already diagnosed and they still said I was imagining it.

[@bruna_kbk]

YES THANK YOU! Finally someone gets it. I've always refused to watch the movie, only catched snippets of it when someone who lives with me happened to be watching it, and it was enough to disgust me - but I always felt alone in this fight. Reading all of these positive comments here restored a bit of my faith in humanity.

[@tabithayork9379]

I've refused to watch it and have always been talked over when I bring it up. It's infuriating.

[@ValeaAlvida]

Great video! The ME/CFS community in Germany has started to organise lie in protests. I mean a lot of us have POTS so it's really the only way :P

[@thatgirlwiththecrazyhair2067]

Yippee! Finally! Someone with a platform calling this out and reminding us of history without the frills ❤

[@rincentvanuggh1911]

It was a weird experience when that movie was big and in highschool everyone my age was singing "this is me," including the people who bullied me for my disabilities...

[@tommcdonald1873]

The tears you shed because you couldn't play with your child a sign of the grestest gift you give to both your son and your wife everyday, unconditional love. Rupert will long remember the hugs and kisses you give him everyday.

[@EternalYorkieMom]

It’s not as massive as what you deal with Jessica but I have anxiety and depression and IF PEOPLE COULD STOP TELLING ME ABOUT ALL THE TIMES THEIR FRIEND WAS SAD OR ANXIOUS THATD BE GREAT! (Also stop telling me to not be stressed. It NEVER EVER EVER WORKS)

[@thou_narsty_gremlin]

Bruuh that sucks :(( I feel ya. Hope you can do something that makes your brain/body feel good today.

[@madebymaryssa]

Probably the go-to disability p*rn story I grew up hearing was about Helen Keller, the deaf-blind women who learned sign language. I didn't know until a couple of years ago, 1, that her teacher was *also* blind (there is at least one movie about Helen's education which explicitly portrays her teacher as sighted), or 2, that Helen was a social activist for feminist issues and racial equality, not just disability rights. A quote I saw on tumblr summed it up well: "The story ends when Helen Keller learns to talk because people weren't interested in what she had to say." Another one I've heard a lot is Terry Fox, a teen athlete who had his leg amputated due to cancer, relearned how to run with his prosthetic, and in his early twenties tried to run across Canada to fundraise for cancer research, but then his cancer came back in his lungs and his doctors made him stop and he died exactly one month before his 23rd birthday, and now there are fundraising runs in his honour. He's probably one of the biggest Canadian celebrities of the 1900s.

[@Grounded_Gravity]

Oh yes, the laziness thing was a HUGE block I had to unlearn when I first came down with chronic illness. And it's so easy for people to make assumptions, in my experience they don't even need to invoke someone else with a similar condition - they just decide they know my body better than I do with zero evidence to support it! 😂 I'm honestly pretty done explaining and justifying my health and limitations to people. When they ask I inwardly sigh and just try to make it as quick as possible and try to change the subject.

[@logo9470]

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

[@The_EagerBeaver]

I've been struggling with a lot of the topics talked about in the latter half of the video as a younger person who has become disabled (not always visibly so). The comments from people who've known me pre-diagnosis and strangers who think I'm "too young for that sort of thing" really break me down sometimes. Happy to be part of a community that can talk about it. 😊

[@cryptic_sunflower]

I find it funny how every time I tell people what disorders I have, they just look at me and go “that makes sense”. I mean I know it’s obvious but I didn’t think it was that obvious

[@onceuponamelody]

Ooh yeah... The disabled mom guilt. It sucks, because abled parents just can't understand. I have to remind myself daily of the things I'm good at about parenting (I'm a great listener and cuddler, I can play video games with my kid, and, now that I have a wheelchair, I can go on longer jaunts outside.) The worst thing is comparison. But, just know if you are providing a safe and happy environment for your kid, then you are doing the best you can.

[@lisam5744]

The PIP in the UK sounds like Social Security Disability here in the US. And the percentage of people denied first time around is about the same. My sister was disabled (and had a terminal illness) and couldn't work any longer and applied. And was told no because 'she was too young to be terminally ill'. Fortunately she had an attorney who was working to help her and she got it on the second application. It still pisses me off decades later.

[@waffles3629]

Yeah, SSDI in the US is a mess. And if you haven't worked "enough" (aka about a decade full time) you don't qualify, or only get much less, because you haven't contributed enough. Like oh, great, how wonderful.

[@kissedbysun2517]

I think they want the process to be as long as possible so that a lot of applicants die before they have to make any payments...or have been forced to work at their own detriment so they can eat or won't lose their house. Then they can claim they are not disabled even though they can't earn anything like their previous salary and that working may well be killing or harming them.

[@jennifers5560]

I am so sorry about the guilt you are feeling. Obviously you feel what you feel. I have commented before that my Mom had MS (She could not walk, had long periods of not being able to get out of bed and everything that goes along with that.) As I grew up, it was not an issue that I could not do things because of her. I took it more like that was how our lives were. We just did other things or did things in a different way. (I was really more bothered by how other people acted towards my Mom.) She always figured out a way for me to get somewhere if it was something I really wanted to do or needed to do. She was never afraid to ask other moms to take me with them. (This is why I feeI like I have a million friends) I never felt bad for myself. I only ever knew my Mom the way she was. And kind of what I really loved about her was that she was always home, she was there to talk to, ask questions, give advice, listen to me, I could always run things by her. I trusted her opinion. You are very accomplished and do amazing things and are a dedicated Mom and you are making a difference. That is what your child(ren) will think of you. They won’t think about what you couldn’t do. Those small things will fade with time. ❤

[@vyvii3293]

Im a disabled single mum. I have complex trauma, anxiety, depression, AuDHD, and mobility issues which mean i use a stick to walk sometimes. I totally empathise with other parents who live with disabilities feeling like they're letting their kids down. I feelnit at times too. But... you're showing your kids how to make modifications to your mental and/or physical health, how to have empathy themselves, patience for people who can't... etc. I can't fault my kids in showing care when I've been less able. Consider how your kids behave towards others because they have a parent with disabilities. When I'm not able, i tell my kids how my disabilities are affecting me and what to expect. So if i can't move much or speak much, they know my limited responses and what those look like and that i do care... Don't discount the valuable way you parent. It may not be neurotypical or able-bodied, but it's not bad or lesser as a result.

[@eshbena]

What I hate most and feel most guilty about is that my kids help me do things that I feel like I ought to be able to do by myself. I don't want them to feel like the parent when they take care of me. I want them to have a childhood where they think of themselves and their future first and foremost and don't worry about who will take care of me if they want to go to college or move far away. I wish I could afford a full time carer so that I could free them from such a burden. It makes my heart hurt.

[@sarahvanorden670]

Thank you for bringing up the fact that Ruth Madeley is an ambulatory wheelchair user, I am as well and the discrimination and being told you're faking it because you can walk is so real, I got accused of faking my need for a wheelchair because in Disney World, I use my chair to get around but transfer out of my chair into ride vehicles so that if someone else is there who needs it more, they can use it. It's ridiculous

[@larachaplauske8818]

I'm Autistic, ADHD, and I have EDS. Love your videos. This one definitely hits hard. It's painful and exhausting to have to work like I'm not in constant pain and miserable.

[@charliefielding2297]

Speaking of intersectionality, the "if they can do it, so can you" narrative is psuhed in every marginalised group. Like "black excellence" making it seem like black people need to all be scholarship students who become lawyers, or famous athletes, or music artists, to be considered worthy of respect. Or women of the previous generation working so hard to prove they could be career women while doing the majority of raising children and maintaining the household, until it became basic expectation, instead of an exceptional feat. I loved rhe way you said to read inspirational media while keeping in mind who it's aiming to 'inspire' and what they are being 'inspired' to do. That really helped my understanding.

[@craquinette685]

Thank you for censoring the word without a loud beeep like a lot of people do! The beeeps really freak me out, I'm glad I can listen to this part of the video without getting scared every time

[@crazyratlady3115]

As a chronically ill person who's currently recovering from an acute sickness that triggered a flare-up of my chronic illness, I feel like this video is telling me to take another week off work.

[@Saezimmerman]

And rest well while giving yourself plenty of kindness. Best wishes ❤❤❤

[@TheRvestal11]

Thank you for doing this!! It's been maddening to see the egregious white-washing that happened in the production of Greatest Showman. I've ruined (or tried to ruin) it for every single person in my circle. He was a monster.

[@glass0fwin]

I am really mortified for everyone involved in The Greatest Showman considering it doesn't take more than a quick Google search or a quick trip to the Libby App / Library to reveal the truth. There is absolutely no defense to his behavior ~ it was egregious even "for the time" (not that historical norms make it acceptable either). thanks for using your platform to shed the light on the reality of this absolute garbage bag of a human.

[@Lazy_Fish_Keeper]

I made friends with some of the Red Train performers when I was a child. I remained friends with them for many years, and introduced my daughter to them once she was born. Something that really stood out to me over the years was their criticism of the "do-gooders" who didn't fight for their lives and job opportunities to be expanded and improved, but instead fought to close down the freak shows to "protect us from being exploited with zero concerns with our autonomy or needs". That was my introduction to responsible social justice work versus performative social justice work. The first centers the voices of the people we claim to be helping, and the second is just gross. Thank you for this great video and your humor while covering a horrible subject.

[@ihaveanamebutimnottellingyou]

I'm here and ready to learn!!!

[@kbrown5523]

Oh Jessica, it's the part of your video where you go off track that is my favorite part. Don't get me wrong, I love how much research and effort you put into your videos, I can't imagine writing your scripts or having to deliver that much dialog, brilliantly I must add, but when you get real, I feel it so much. I'm able-bodied and so often feel inferior as a parent and a person and I always feel like I should be doing more, and not because I'm an overachiever who never feels like I do enough either. As an average flawed human being who struggles with self-acceptance. Thank you for being vulnerable and authentic and open enough to be real.

[@Snogard45]

I will always remember being a disabled college student who was suffering not having really any helpful medical intervention at the time and was getting absolutely nothing from the disability office and thus feel into academic probation due to my grades to which the office fully? made me go to Extra weekly meetings where some random woman would tell us all why we aren't using our time well enough and needed to stop watching tv and start studying. and when I made my mandatory time chart for my daily activities so she could pick it apart and tell us where to insert more studying, and most of my time was recovering from illness, she straight out didn't believe me. the idea that people are so convinced as you say "the only disability is a bad mindset" really floored me. I dropped out and still believe nearly 10 years later that I could never succeed in academia because of a lot of experiences like this, but this one especially. I had never felt so belittled.

[@DisabledInNature]

YEESSSS, RUIN ITTT!! So excited for this video. I rewatched this film recently and..um...SIR

[@GarbageWordswithGarbagel-zm4xo]

The rant is still making me tear up. I love my son so much, but I always feel he'd be better off with a mom who could do more and be more. My guilt is immeasurable. I've been having a bad bout for a while and that hits the brain worse than the actual disability. Now I'm ranting lol

[@eshbena]

Your son knows that he's loved and that's more than a lot of children ever get. Be kind to yourself.

[@GarbageWordswithGarbagel-zm4xo]

thank you for making me smile @@eshbena

[@mimiwilhelm5484]

Thank you so much for this. My depression came back recently, and i have felt so much worse because I've been able to do so little. Society and others' expectations of me have caused me to feel useless and purposeless when I can't work or be productive. It's gotten to where I don't know if i want to keep living as a "useless" person. I needed to hear this ❤

[@juiceconstruct]

You said this so eloquently. I was absolutely livid at one of my best friends the other day because when I was talking about the struggles my sister and I have she kept saying "but MY sister has the same disability and SHE'S a genius". It's nice to hear someone like you talking about the variations in how people are affected instead of all of the "motivation" I'm supposed to get from media

[@ellasinquiries]

I have been waiting for a video like this for a long time - thank you so much for continuing to spread awareness with your channel and highlighting disabled voices 💗

[@pazzieanneknexx809]

Re: that one part when you were reflecting on people saying "Oh, I know someone with that!" I have two experiences that knocked the wind out of me *to this day.* 1. I was in a gardening shop and I had mentioned having Crohn's Disease, to which a woman responded, "Oh! I had a friend with that. He died!" I was 14 and very new to it and very sick. Not cool. 2. My ex's Mom said to her, about me, "Celiac's Disease (what my ex's Mom had) is worse than Crohn's Disease. I don't think [my name] is trying hard enough. I have friends that have Crohn's Disease and they're doing so much better!" Mind you, this woman was probably in her 40s-50s at the time.

[@ceceelizabeth527]

I may skip this one, but glad you're covering this.

[@jennifers5560]

❤

[@poesraven4540]

No worries!! She does her usual outstanding job, but the subjects are tough.

[@ShyyGaladriel]

Even the non-disabled person who sang “opera” was portrayed as “the other woman wannabe” as if she was the problem and not the man in power who was dragging her around.

[@KCallia]

I went down the wiki rabbit hole after watching the movie (during lockdown) and was miffed of their "adaptation" of Jenny Lind. "Why am I not surpised?" 😒

[@Daneypastry]

The talk about laziness really hits hard. The whole productivity equals value complex is so drilled into a lot of people, and it makes it so difficult to navigate actually listening to our bodies out of a fear that we're being "lazy". Calling it laziness also doesn't specify what really is going on. Like I'm not skipping out on social events because I can't be bothered to go -- I'm staying home because I'm tired, exhausted, or need to recharge or conserve energy for another event that's more important. That being said, I also don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to do a thing. What we like as individuals is so diverse, and I wish there was more space for people to both listen to themselves and also express what we find when we do

[@clancyalexander6192]

Thank you very much for this video. I'm going to try to share it and as many places as I can because I think it's important for people to see. This includes me. My partner has a number of disabilities, not visible and consisting of both physical and mental/emotional. I hate to admit it, but if I'm going to be honest there are times when I get a little frustrated because I think he should be "trying harder". I realize this is a me problem and not a him problem. I promise to you Jessica, that going forward, I will respect him as the individual he is and when he's not up to something that I feel he "should be doing" to remember that he is not here for my convenience. I love him and it is my job and take care of him as much as he takes care of me.

[@abigailr.9601]

💛💛💛

[@Pidgeyatwo]

I am not physically disabled so I don't know if I'm allowed to comment on this, but I have a mix of clinical depression & severe anxiety (plus some type of undiagnosed neurodivergency, I'm fighting to be seen by a professional) thay make it very hard for myself to function. Even getting out of bed most days is a struggle. Doesn't help that the family I'm stuck with since I struggle to find work is constantly belittling me. It's distressing how often I wish I could cease being, or exist in my own lonely quiet void for a moment of peace. I feel like my existence is worse than useless, that I'm a burden. I wish that I could simply exist, love myself, and BE loved. But it feels like I have to be productive & go beyond what I'm physically capable of for the smallest breadcrumbs of love, yknow?

[@abigailr.9601]

I unfortunately don’t currently have the mental and emotional energy to reply as detailed or as well-worded to you as I would like, but I really wanted to say to you, that you absolutely are allowed to comment here! Non-physical disabilities are still very much so disabilities, and you deserve to be in a space/community where you feel heard, comfortable, understood, and respected. There is no comparison or superiority scale within a healthy disabled community, meaning no matter what kind of disability you experience, YOU ARE VALID. Best wishes and love to you 🩵

[@ellasinquiries]

Your plants are looking so amazing!

[@Turquerina]

It's so insidious how some people expect disabled people to be even more successful than your average abled people, it also makes me think that laziness is such a privilege not many people can afford. While in the same ballpark of disabled people being treated like superheroes, it's still valuable to have disabled people to be represented in fantasy and sci-fi! Especially if they're the main heroes.

[@fatladyfarmer2025]

Thanks!

[@michellem4287]

Even as a disabled dog mom, I feel like I can't do enough. I have multiple conditions, and they are all invisible.

[@HandmadeDarcy]

THANK YOU! Never seen the show, never will. That they put that song about being proud of being yourself into the mouth of a character being exploited by that disgusting man still makes me angrier than I thought it would 😂😩. Jackman should be ashamed of himself for taking the part to clean that man's reputation.

[@sallyjordan4869]

I love your history videos especially, Jessica. Thank you for this one. I imagine it was painful for you to make. It hurts my heart to hear that you feel inferior to other mums sometimes, particularly since you’re such a wonderful mother-loving, intelligent, funny, entranced with your child but able to set boundaries-I could go on and on, but everything you are is so much more important than being able to stay out in the cold. 🎀💖🎀

[@Sam..123]

Its the double punishment too of people of any minority who do have an exceptional talent for which they are celebrated will be accused of just being "representation" and therefore being less exceptional than a more privileged person but then anyone of a minority group who are not celebrated for some special talent will just be told they need to try harder. Ive seen a few people talk about how this effects women in men dominated spaces etc but its definitely true for people with disabilities in spaces dominated by and designed for non disabled people.

[@briarpelt2333]

I'm close to someone who has a lot of the same mental conditions as I do--adhd, anxiety, depression. I struggle sometimes with being around them, though, because they don't seem to understand that just because they can do something while having these conditions, that doesn't mean I can do the same thing. I hear the phrases "it's not that hard" and "just do it" often enough that I think they're leaving a lasting impact. I've been struggling lately to try and overcome the tremendous feelings of guilt that come up whenever I call in sick to work because I need a mental health day (as opposed to being physically ill with like a flu or something), or decide I need to stay in bed all day on a day off... I think that even though this person in my life also struggles with neurodivergence and mental health, their attitude has been so deeply shaped by society's emphasis on productivity that it's been very damaging to me by proxy. I don't know what to do except try to catch those thought patterns when they come up in me, and slowly build new habits of thinking of myself, my needs and my struggles as valid and human and trying to believe that my existence is worth something even if I'm not using it to do anything.

[@vaporeonice3146]

Love this video! As someone who actually did used to get up and run 5K in the mornings, I am ALL FOR your pro-laziness stance. Do what feels best for you and works for your body, mind, and spirit. People who do things you can’t or don’t want to do aren’t superior humans, they’re just different humans with different needs and personalities. Also, I really resonated with the sadness when talking about what you’ve been dealing with lately as a disabled mum; that hurt’s real. Sending lots of love your way ❤

[@lalystar4230]

I once read (in a post on social media by someone with a chronic illness) that (to her) living with a chronic illness, is kinda like having a smaller batterypack than those around them, and a much slower charger. yes she could do stuff, but for a shorter period of time and it takes a lot longer to recharge. So she had to be a lot smarter about planning. Hearing you talk about how you do those photoshoots and the catwalk, really reminded me of that. Anyways, after watching your video about the little bows on underwear/lingerie, I've found myself here and I must say, I enjoy your videos quite a lot! Gonna watch a couple more now!

[@pardalote]

Thanks Jessica, I really appreciate all the research you do on your history topics. I am guaranteed to learn so much! ❤ As an autistic person, I also love that you included the text "sarcasm" as needed. I do often find sarcasm confusing. I wonder if you could make videos like these more accessible to people, like myself, who have auditory processing challenges? I found the background music, particularly the beat of it very distracting and needed to slow down the video speed to understand the meaning of your words. Your voice is so lovely to listen to, I would really prefer not to distort it with the slowing down option or to remove it entirely by reading captions with the sound off. 🌼

[@Maokei]

Fr I remember first watching this going “uhhh this seems very wrong “ and I was so confused why people were praising the movie

[@benjaminrackley1893]

I understand how you feel living with disabilities and feeling bad because of it. It's so hard when the disability isn't visible. Keep living your best life and screw what anyone else thinks. I loved your tangent.

[@ChanceDrive]

*"Ah yes all able body and disable people are the same, humans don't have individual needs or limitations. Everyone should be able to meet the average expectations put forth by society!"* Love the content, hearing more diverse voices is important, not just the exceptional.

[@theede1313]

My mom was disabled and she was the best mom I could have asked for

[@sourisdebibliotheque]

Jessica, you inspire me to wear my pretty vintage dresses more often! Without being shy about it! 👗

[@vulpeculafae]

My autism and anxiety make it hard for me to get jobs much less keep them and I am called lazy so often. But if I'm lazy, then at least I'm alive because if I forced myself, well what they'd be calling me next would be in the past tense.

[@nottheoneforyou]

I live with my ex as a roommate situation due to not making very much from my disability check. And even though he saw all I went through, even almost dying multiple times that caused my disability. He constantly puts me down or makes me seem lazy. He will even see articles about other disabled people able to do more, just like you mentioned in this video. So he constantly expects so much more from me. While at the same time when I do push myself to try to be 'normal' he will tell me I can't over do it or else I'll hurt myself. It's very stressful and toxic to say the least. I would say he's the text book for narcissistic and ableism behavior. Especially if I went into all of the things he says and does on a daily basis.

[@CaliMel1111]

I sincerely hope you are able to GTFO out of that house soon and away from him because he sounds like a horrible person. Also please please safeguard your money and make sure he has no access because he's definitely the type that would steal from you to trap you in the house with him. Do you not have any friends who you can go stay with instead?

[@victoriab8186]

I watched The Greatest Showman with friends when we were in our early teens and was shocked, and continued to be shocked for years, at the fact that none of my friends felt that there was something deeply wrong with the whole setup of this film. It massively alienated me for quite a while, as the group I hung out with were rather a 'singing songs from musicals while walking around the school' type and I just... it felt as if not seeing the inherent 'freak show' ickyness reflected an inherent disconnect in our worldviews. They thought it was great and empowering for people to sell their difference and get laughed at on an even larger stage - because they were monetising it now. Meanwhile, my autistic self was... well. I do think that the atmosphere around the Greatest Showman was one of the contributing factors to my masking quite so heavily as a teenager (and slowly losing the whole of that group of friends who I had really liked, because I felt like in the end I was not actually portraying anything true to my self)

[@SailorMya]

I just had a pretty bad MS flare-up recently that has made just bending over to pick something up impossible without getting dizzy/sick. This was a great video to watch while feeling my worst in years. Thank you for the validation.

[@jennifers5560]

❤

[@antoniafesl7142]

The part where you talked about, how people often don't understand that, what one is able to do can be different from day to day and also having expectations because they may know someone else with a simmilar condition, made me feel really understood. Since I have started learning to be a tailor and designer and moving out of my parents home, I often struggle with feeling guilty for missing class or beeing unable to taking care of myself or everyday demands. Especially since some of the schools important people are not very understanding or accomodating. Thank you, Jessica I really appreciate your videos

[@jessicawilson1751]

I have ADHD with anxiety and depression. One of the antidepressants I'm on caused me to be constantly exhausted, even after getting a full night's rest. Before being prescribed another antidepressants that addresses the exhaustion, I embraced a phrase from the KZbinr Amy of Bodyfit by Amy: "be where you are today. You're here, you showed up." I started running in 2021 to help manage my mental health issues, and I find myself repeating those lines to myself when I don't feel up to my planned run. I've long had an issue of being hard on myself for not doing better than I expected, but I've been learning to be kind to myself.

[@beckdare8730]

I wanted to give you a huge hug when you were talking about being a disabled mum you are fantastic and I would have loved a mum like you ❤ I also have a chronic pain condition as well as pcos and endometriosis and what I love when people tell me that they “know” someone who has the same thing or tell me oh you don’t look like your sick or in pain you’ll be alright! Ahhh DONT tell me how to deal with what I have thank you very much grrrr that makes me mad

[@nottheoneforyou]

Not sure you will see this with so many comments, I did try to Twitter/X yesterday. I went to my dermatologist for my botox I get. Since my doctor is very knowledgeable I wanted to ask about options for the UK for you. He said that there are many dermatologist who can and do perform the type of botox you need in the UK. Also that a doctor of any kind doing botox uses a face chart. This allows them to keep a record of where and how much botox has been used on a patient. And should only require you requesting a copy of it from the doctor currently providing your injections to then be brought to a dermatologist who does botox. The only thing is that you may have to pay out of pocket for the units of botox applied. For my current insurance in the US my visit to the doctor is covered, but I pay for the botox part myself. Since it seems like you only need a little for your jaw and migraines, I wouldn't think it would be very much. But I wanted to mention it in more detail in a comment in case you see this or saw my Twitter comment and had more questions. I hope this helps you or anyone else who may have been wondering about this.

[@michaelwalker7400]

Barnum also tried to pass off Heth as a robot as a way to get people to come back when the 161 year old bit wore off, prior to her death. Freak shows were still part of local fairs where I lived in Ohio up until the 1990's. One tried passing off a small woman as being over 100 years old.