Running from Rockets and Walking Toward Womanhood, with Maia Poet | Episode 183

[@MaiaPoet]

This is Maia from the interview! Thank you so much to everyone for your kind and insightful comments!

[@decyattysyachpchyol]

Although I am older than you, your story resonates more with mine as a desister than most others I've heard. After giving up the idea I would live as a man in a meaningful way, coming to terms with the fact straight women wouldn't be interested in my plumbing and lesbians wouldn't want a masculinized body, I had no yearning to be more feminine, and although I'm glad I didn't get unnecessary surgery, I still don't want to give birth and don't care about my breasts much either way. It's such a non-issue, as I never had a great hatred or love of my body before and the conflict came from starting to embrace the idea that it should fit. Now it's not something I think about outside of these videos. Success isn't always in the form of loving your body which has always struck me as a peculiarly narcissistic ideal of modern America.

[@Ed-lian]

The Story how you came to desist is crasy. I also desisted. It would be interesting to collect different reasons how people came to this conclusion. I am transgender, and felt this way since I am alive. I embody masculinity and femininity, as I see it. When I was sent to a gender therapist, I was offered immediately everything. Hormones, surgeries what I want and gender marker change in documents legally. From female to male. I said, wait, wait... I have difficulty in social life because of this gender issue. When I was offered these things, I considered the first time whether this could bring me relief. I thought the posture would become more upright. Because the breast is always pushed into the background... But I am not in the binary framework. Therefore, I realized that my identity would not be properly understood and recognized. Which was the important point. I came across a hermaphrodite forum. At that time. Intersex people. They have sadly experienced what operations are. I got support from some people there. The final argument or thought that made me decide to desist was. "Do you really think you can achieve something by bending your body?" I thought. What do I achieve with it? And came to the conclusion. Maybe my posture would become better. But that is too little I don't reach my goal. To be recognized as what I am. Then I refused to take hormones and do surgery. The therapist kicked me out when I refused hormones and surgeries.

[@MaiaPoet]

@@decyattysyachpchyol that all sounds very relatable

[@MaiaPoet]

@@Ed-lian wow. That’s quite startling

[@Ed-lian]

@MaiaPoet What is startling? That the therapist didn't take me further? Yes, therapists usually specialize in trans patients. They only write authorizations for medical procedures. It's not therapy, it's planning the transition. The transition is practically the therapy. I've experienced this twice: the therapist dropped me because I didn't transition. After the first time, this therapist told me that I was just afraid of the operation and that that was transphobic. She asked why I didn't use hormones and operations. I replied that there would be long-term effects that cannot be foreseen at the time of the operation. I learned this from the hermaphrodites who told me this. These long-term effects... of hormones and especially operations. I didn't want to create pain for myself in the future. The pros and cons showed that I would leave my body as it was. Why not? This therapist then said that was transphobic. I only thought about the argument I had made later. That this therapist sends many people for operations, e.g. amputating the penis in trans women or phalloplasty in trans men.... That the therapist who wrote the letter about these procedures does not want to deal with the issue of long-term effects. The client is blamed for this. Therapists do not want to think about it. Many ignore this issue.

[@berthavazquez4168]

As a veteran teacher, I had the pleasure of teaching many amazing children like this. She is brilliant and dare I say respectfully, appears to be on the high-functioning end of the autistic spectrum. Her vocabulary, her singular interest in pathology, and her literal take on gender all point to it.

[@MaiaPoet]

Thanks for the comment about my intelligence. Is an interest in pathology an autistic phenomenon or are you just referring to the hyperfixations?

[@kashq502]

​@@MaiaPoet I would have the same assumptions on that front. I'm guessing they meant simply the hyperfixation. Although, I suffer from a hyperfixation on pathology as well as pharmacology myself, and I am not autistic as far as I know. I was also an "odd kid" 😅 But it's clear even in just this video that you are definitely brilliant. I was always one of the "smart kids" growing up, but I didn't realize that everyone didn't have all the bones in body memorized, for example. Or, even now at age 41, just knowing basic life categorization (kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species) is apparently weird also. 😂 Oh well. I don't mind being weird. Wouldn't mind being more intelligent, though!

[@annamyob]

Also the literal take on what a "crush" is. Even those of us who do understand metaphor and allusion, we don't necessarily go there first. Whether you yourself are on the spectrum, or merely share that trait with us, your story is so amusing and touching and well told, I'm sure it will help a lot of people understand how this literalness can affect an autistic person's understanding of the world.

[@MaiaPoet]

@@annamyob thank you! I’m so glad you found my explanations to be helpful

[@zimzob]

@@MaiaPoethypochondria seems to be common among autistic people, which makes sense if you have difficulty interpreting physical sensations.

[@tamarpeleg7452]

Maia's story is quite unique, I think. She is a true individualist who navigated her way into and out of a trans identity through sheer intellect, research, and reflection. This isn't the typical case of social contagion that we often encounter today. The circumstances under which she began to have doubts are also quite extraordinary. What her story does share with others, however, is the influence of gender stereotypes on her decision to transition, and the impact of meeting other desisters or detransitioners like her (lesbians who prefer a more masculine style in haircut and clothing) on her realization that she is a woman. These are, of course, two facets of the same issue, which seems to be absolutely critical.

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you for your analysis! I really appreciate it. You’re good at reading people

[@tamarpeleg7452]

@@MaiaPoet תודה מיה! תמיד מרתק להאזין לך, וכישראלית הסיפור שלך מעניין אותי במיוחד.

[@MaiaPoet]

@@tamarpeleg7452 שמחתי לשמוע!!!

[@bethhallwerck2768]

​@@MaiaPoetposted above will try to copy. Xou remind me of my Dad. Another Genius.

[@MaiaPoet]

@@bethhallwerck2768 thank you ❤️ that’s very kind

[@PlaceboDomingo]

What a delightful, intelligent and articulate young woman. Fascinating conversation, thank you.

[@zedox424]

I've seen Maia previously in an interview with Buck Angel. Smart, articulate & hilarious. A joy to watch!

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you so much for your kind comments!

[@juliesheard2122]

Maia you are a really wonderful person. Devestatingly intelligent, beautiful inside and out. If anyone can bring peace to the middle east, it's you! ❤ Thankyou for your story, it was a priviledge to hear. Thankyou also for this podcast as ever a wonderful resource. 😊

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you for this incredibly kind compliment!

[@cestmoi4532]

I am so grateful for Maia's voice in this. Her podcast is a powerful testament to her creative and intellectually hungry personality. It's wonderful to see. ❤

[@MaiaPoet]

Awww thank you for your comments & observations!

[@gemmadavies2922]

What an incredible life you have had. Inspiring. I hope my daughter will listen to your testimony 🙏

[@MaiaPoet]

I’m glad you liked it!

[@nyxthirteen4277]

I could listen to Maia all day 🍀

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you ❤️

[@shonareppe9168]

What an amazing person. We need to hear these stories. It could save a life.

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you! I’m hoping my story will have this effect

[@HonestHans4]

Maia is an intellectual powerhouse and an absolute rockstar! Her story is incredibly important and I’m so glad she’s being interviewed by bigger and bigger channels.

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you so much!!! I enjoy having you in my X spaces btw

[@HonestHans4]

@@MaiaPoet 🫶🏻

[@bilong92]

Maia has such a fascinating story, love hearing her speak!

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you!

[@pinkdolly]

This is one cool woman! What a life she’s lived! Thanks so much for telling us your story!!

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you!

[@peterbreughel4440]

I don't know what I was expecting when I started watching this, but it was so full of surprises and unexpected turns that I was completely fascinated and would love to hear more of Maia's story.

[@kittycat5501]

I remember Stella telling us on more than one occasion that there are so many ways to get in a trans identity but also so many ways to get out of it. Maia's story is without a doubt a very unique way to live through this process. She's gone through incredible experiences to finally understand and accept herself as a woman. I'm very happy for her 🙂 I love the fact that Stella and Sasha (Gender A Wider Lens) played a little part in Maia's story. Thank you Maia for sharing your story and as always thank you Sasha & Stella for all your hard work 🌸

[@MaiaPoet]

Thanks for your comment!

[@alchemydp]

What a wonderful person you are Maia. You have much to offer the world in many ways. As a retired academic I can say there aren’t many who are as erudite as you are nor have the intelligent heart you have. Go forth with peace!

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your comment. Academia is the dream

[@Carbonatedjello]

It's cute she thought she was dying when she experienced her first crush 😂❤

[@MaiaPoet]

Hahaha thanks

[@magdalenas8713]

I know it’s a light hearted comment and not judging that reaction. My reaction was: how sad you could not enjoy it for what it actually was and had that kind of reaction. Maia: I did not fit in and was a weird kid too. Grew into a unique adult and just learned to accept and be unapologetic for my not being quite like everyone else. Thanks for sharing with us.

[@MaiaPoet]

@@magdalenas8713 I think that experiencing crushes as a very brainy kid can be kind of freaky because living in your body as opposed to your brain doesn’t feel natural when you are used to existing in a world of ideas

[@pizzaiq]

Maia is fantastic. Thank you for the interview.

[@c.j.farnham6841]

I saw Maia on a podcast with Elle. I had no idea how that she was in Israel on Oct 7th. I wish for her to be a LEADER not a follower! A woman so brilliant can forge an original path. Great things will come to her someday when she gains the confidence to lead.

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you so much for your comment. I really enjoyed that video with Elle and I’m glad you found it helpful

[@MaudMargretheRex]

Omg- What a story- Im so grateful to have found just this one. Im now informed on so many levels; in so many areas, by such a fabulous person.. Huge and humble Thanks; Also to all the Israel-Palestine; peace work too.

[@MaiaPoet]

Thanks for the comment!

[@robyngild9433]

Brilliant Speaker! Loved listening to Maia, such an intelleigent, grounded, well informed speaker. We need to hear more!

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you so much!

[@Toastie19]

I could listen to her talk about anything. She’s great.

[@theroadlesstraveled3993]

Wow! Thank you for sharing your story. I really enjoyed hearing it!❤

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you so much!

[@leslietayler3847]

Thank you for sharing your extraordinary story Maia!!!!

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you for listening!

[@amaryllisequistra]

Beautiful work Stella 💗 And of course thanks to Maia too 💗

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you so much!

[@susancabouli528]

Thank you so much, Maia, for sharing your very personal experiences of your gender, your sex, your changes in political views when you were punched in the face by reality, as a Jew - you've been through so much. I thank God you couldn't get to the Nova concert, even as so many did go and so many are still suffering from the massacre

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you so much for your incredibly kind comment ❤️

[@susancabouli528]

@@MaiaPoet I'm merely being honest. I am also Jewish and used to be a fairly left leaning democrat, until I saw how badly that ideology fits with reality. I saw the mismatch as a psychologist, even before the more recent years with gender affirming care. I'm amazed at how such good ideas as communism and socialism fail miserably in real life. One of the better explanations I heard was from E.O. Wilson who studied ant colonies. When asked about communism, he said "Great idea, wrong species". At least that's what I was told he said.

[@MaiaPoet]

@@susancabouli528 I’m so glad you liked the interview and that you learned from it

[@Toastie19]

Thank you! I agree that the “just take the internet away” solution to deal with this with their kids is very simplistic. They will always find a way to access the internet, at a friend’s house or at school, a library etc. This will just make them more secretive about their internet usage and make them not trust their parents with anything. I know I would have definitely have found a way to get around that as a kid if my parents did that. They would make friends at school already in these trans circles anyway. Also, so much of learning and research is done with the internet now. It would make it so much more difficult to do their school work.

[@ElishevaLe]

Ooooh, I really appreciate Maia's perspective and experience.

[@emilyanne1426]

Absolutely incredible story ❤️

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you!

[@juliesheard2122]

Thankyou for your amazing work. ❤

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you!

[@Finne57]

So interesting about the linguistic element and creating emotional distance !

[@MaiaPoet]

I’m so glad you found it interesting and insightful!

[@MRsnuggles-u9i]

omg I love Maia! what an amazing crossover, I can’t wait to listen to this one (although I’ve heard Maia’s story several times now I look forward to hearing what new insights you two can pull out of her haha!)

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you! I hope you learned something new with this one!

[@kbkb117]

Thank you for sharing your story and putting yourself out there ❤

[@annamyob]

Thank you Maia! Your sharing about not understanding your new feelings, and taking 'crush' literally, illustrates something a lot of us go through. It is just CRUCIAL that kids who think they are trans receive open-minded counseling to help figure out what is really going on. I always knew I was attracted to other girls, and I knew it was 'icky' and 'shameful' so I repressed it. In 5th grade many girls had crushes, so as part of my usual masking, and desperation to conform, I did it too. But a crush on a GIRL was taboo, so I manufactured fake crushes on boys. At first I knew I was faking, but then my autistic tendency toward intense singular interests would come into play. So I would become fixated, which in turn made me think I really did have a crush on the boy. There was no attraction whatsoever... but like you, I had no understanding. So I took what I experienced, fixation (round peg) and crammed it into the only frame of reference I had, crush (square hole). Then I actually fell in love with a friend, and the only way I could imagine us together was for me to be a boy.... OMG thank goodness this all happened years before trans ideology, or today I would be another detransitioner. And it took years before my autism was recognized (more than a dozen professionals failing me) and I could begin to understand why those crushes became so intense when they were not real attractions.

[@MaiaPoet]

I’ve heard this story several times by now. It is something which really needs to be discussed more

[@annamyob]

@@MaiaPoet Yes, and that is starting to happen. It's so sad how much silencing has been done. We need to speak out even more in order to overcome that. Thank you for doing so.

[@MaiaPoet]

@@annamyob thank you for your additions!

[@karin8304]

I don’t cry easily. This one really got to me.

[@MaiaPoet]

Dang. That’s meaningful. I’m sorry you cried and I hope you gained some insight

[@olenamladenova1532]

Maia, thank you for such insightful interview. Linguistic point is intersting. My daughter, 22, is insisting she is trans. Her primary language is English. But in very chilhood she has been speaking Russian fluently. Now, when she speaks to her babushka she is using feminine verbs without realization i guess. Does it say something to you?? She is 22 and promised us not to medicalize until 25. So i hope she will come to desist resistance

[@MaiaPoet]

She may be speaking to her Babushka that way because that is what Babushka would understand. Is she conflict avoidant?

[@annamyob]

Most of language production is unconscious, so it is likely she is unaware. ALso, Russian being her secondary language, she is less skilled with the grammar. She is just speaking the way she has always spoken. Or maybe it's just that with her dear babushka, she doesn't feel pressure to worry about how she speaks, the way she might with someone else. My point is, could be many reasons. We should not read something into this. There are plenty of so-called experts that will claim they can read her true motives out of some linguistic detail like that. They are full of poo poo, and also quite annoying. ;-)

[@MaiaPoet]

@@annamyob perhaps

[@olenamladenova1532]

Russian is her first learned language. And as we are talking about gender as unconscious feeling, another unconscious thing associated with feminine side might say something. I feel that masculine things she is forcing on herself ( trying to change voice, bodybuilding, trying to behave brutal ect). But when she is unconsciously doing something or in vulnerable state she behaves very feminine. So im trying to put pieces of puzzle together as case to take her from medicalization and persuade her to make a piece with her very feminine body and nature.

[@annamyob]

@@olenamladenova1532 Yes, both are unconscious, but completely different areas of the brain. Language processing is not some magical insight into what someone "really" thinks or feels.

[@orlandobrook]

💕 Maia! great conversation! so, maybe tangential maybe not, but Maia seems like every kid who was in gifted class with me (including myself). she even has a similar “literalness” that i have (to this day). We were/are all what ppl these days call neurodivergent. I think at one point we’d have all been labeled “high functioning autistic” or “aspergers” (which has fallen out of favor). And this reminds me of either a post or comment I saw on PITT Substack. It was the mother of a gifted boy who’d transitioned WITH HIS ENTIRE GIFTED CLASS and I think this is something that needs study, discussion, and recognition b/c parents of these kids are heartbroken and bewildered-and the kids will be dealing with the fallout for the rest of their lives. Just throwing all that into the mix: gifted/spectrumy/high-functioning kids are seriously in danger of this.

[@Eatsleeprun_rescuecats]

What an amazing story & woman.. Arabic, Russian, English & Hebrew! Wow… So articulate & honest. She really needs to do more talks on the subject & detransitioning. I’m sure her story will resonate with many. Stella looked very uncomfortable when she’d was talking about Isreal & the terrorist organisations though..

[@MaiaPoet]

Thanks for your comment!

[@annukkakiviranta4356]

I love her❤

[@jm162]

Maia is the trans capture then the escape from it encapsulated...thank goodness!!

[@magdalenas8713]

‘got an ipad’ for a birthday or some occasion. It’s hard to miss that when it comes to youth just about every trans story starts with a ton of online engagement. Parents! I know it’s hard to parent BUT the internet (I know it’s tempting) IS NOT a babysitter. You would vet (I hope) your human babysitter and would not leave your kid with a crazy deviant or criminal … why are kids spending hours “researching“ and independently “learning” online, diagnosing themselves and dictating to the adults. It’s bizarre

[@theunknownatheist3815]

Very interesting and compelling story! This is the best interview I’ve seen on this subject. She shows just how indoctrinated and cultish the left is, when she spoke about how her leftist friends weren’t interested in hearing any contradictory evidence that might change their beliefs about the situation in Israel. By any chance has she pursued medicine as a career? She was showing interest as a kid, and as smart as she sounds, she’d probably be good at it. Also, maybe she could help people like her, who need REAL help and not just “affirmation”.

[@MaiaPoet]

I ended up going the political science route instead!

[@athenagarza4742]

I have a question? My son had a note book that I gave him. He is now righting his name as a girl. He crossed his name out. What in the world do I do about that? This whole trans movement is driving me crazy! Thanks in advance.

[@MaiaPoet]

How old is your son?

[@athenagarza4742]

16

[@MaiaPoet]

@@athenagarza4742 has he announced trans?

[@athenagarza4742]

Yes he has and gave himself a girls name.

[@nataanda2486]

Xeyyyyy shes great

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you!

[@C-U-Never-Troll]

It just sounds to me like you were attracted to women and were afraid of it and did the usual lesbian things. One of my best friends in highschool had a sister who was definitely a lesbian who was in denial and tried to hide it but most of us knew. I just wish that things were getting better not worse 😢

[@MaiaPoet]

That’s accurate

[@C-U-Never-Troll]

@ wish you all the best Maia ❤️

[@bethhallwerck2768]

🎉You should contact Rachel Maddow. This could be her next movie. Copyright story.🎉yMazel Tov. 4 yrs ago quad supposed to die. I have dumb luck too. Please forward to young genius.

[@MaiaPoet]

Thank you! I’d be happy if you knew how to contact her haha

[@janebennetto5655]

❤🇬🇧❌❌

[@adamwalker2377]

The solution your parents should have chosen was, "We're not paying for your college. You're all grown up and can make your own choices and bear your own consequences now. We're out. If you insist on continuing with this trans nonsense, we're cutting you off your inheritance."

[@MaiaPoet]

The decision my parents made got me out of this