Why Does My Feed Hate Women? (w/ Alanah Pearce) | Sad Boyz

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[@Renfairelass]

I noticed this too! Recently my feed has been really misogynistic and alt-righty… even though I always click the not interested button. Recently, I’ve been getting a lot of videos of this judge who really likes to stick it to women and call them gold diggers and stuff in custody court. Weird.

[@teddykaz47]

all it takes is me liking one clip from a podcast and suddenly i’m getting clips from ab*s*rs

[@danijones8314]

this has been happening to me too!

[@maggotqu33n]

i swear i get more of something on tiktok when i say im not interested

[@berkeleyisonline160]

manosphere dudes are obsessed with custody hearings lmao

[@wayierotoro]

Omg I thought I was going crazy

[@anonymixx8106]

What's wild is I've been wanting to talk about this but people cry "curating my algorithm" ASAP despite me REPORTING this content. No, it's digital force-feeding.

[@kabnoot]

Yeah, I constantly hit "do not recommend" on things and that type of content still shows up. Its actually frustrating.

[@dreamsalamander]

personally I found out the solution is to swing really far left, in terms of viewing habits. I'm talking zooming right past gender discourse and straight into socialist theory. I tried this purely as an experiment, and got what I wanted - no more vile manosphere filth. I'll confess, though, that I may have got a bit indoctrinated in the process.. because I feel like I'm starting to see a clear picture of who's really behind this mess. It's certainly not F,LGBT, or ppl of colour, but it's not the neckbeards either. Im starting to think it's the ones who want the two oppressed sides to be busy fighting each other whilst they enjoy the fruits of everyone's labour.

[@rascal_rae]

The type of "rule following" Jarvis is talking about is a good example of having a strong sense of "horizontal morality". Horizontal morality is a logic/empathy approach to deciding what's "right" versus "vertical morality" which is more like, "this is right because it's the law"

[@eleniel917]

A.K.A. Chaotic good vs Lawful good.

[@demetriam2408]

​@@eleniel917no, both are lawful good. The whole point of lawful good is consistency, whether the law is internal or external is irrelevant.

[@b4stard_sweet]

@demetrian8448 or possibly Neutral Good and Lawful Good, but not Chaotic, because that’s more spite-based lmao

[@crimsonnin2]

@@demetriam2408 Chaotic literally means you follow your own internal ruleset rather than any external law. So yes, it's chaotic good vs lawful good

[@demetriam2408]

@@crimsonnin2 no, chaos means inconsistency, disorder, confusion. Lawful means consistent, a moral code would be an internal law that you follow. If you are chaotic good you are impulsive, but kind. You might be emotionally fragile or slightly aggressive. Think Unikitty from Lego, or Dog from The last wish. Chaos is not an internal code, it is havoc.

[@LleytonCorbett]

As a teenage guy myself, I think that this type of dialogue is super important. In my school and even with some of my friends I find that the idea that "nice guys finish last" is still being perpetuated. I think that young guys need to see people like you having smart and nice discussions about young men, it inspires me to constantly be a better version of myself.

[@lankenstein5884]

I think that can be a really easy hole to fall in- even for some women. It's important to note the semantic, colloquial and psychological differences between "good men" and "nice guys". "Nice guys" probably do, and should, finish last- because anyone who talks about how nice a guy they are is probably full of shit. There is definitely a "nice guy" trope; a guy who thinks being "nice" makes them instantly deserving of women's attention or that it's a type of sexual currency (open the door for her, tell her she's pretty and if she doesn't jump in bed with me it's because "women only like assholes"). It baffles me how they can convince themselves that it's "nice" to expect women to fawn over you because you *pretended* you practice basic human decency. A "good man" *is* a nice guy- genuinely. Actually kind and thoughtful. If a good man does something nice for a woman he does so because it's the right thing to do, he wants to make a good impression, he genuinely enjoys her company (regardless of sex). Being a good man doesn't guarantee that you get everything you want, but when you inevitably experience rejection you will be able to handle it gracefully. Not that you asked, but my advice would be to call your friends out on their BS. You can do it kindly, but maybe ask them why they think being nice entitles them to sex or having a girlfriend, or whatever, and whether or not they're really that nice if they're only doing things to try to "get ahead". I gotta say that I completely disagree with these guys on Jordan Peterson though. I think he's an excellent role model for young men who talks about a lot of the same things they do. I really don't get the disconnect.

[@user-th1pv6ks5o]

Just show them videos of Dr. K. He makes a very good case against, (and even for) redpill types. He was a monk for 7 years, then went to Harvard.

[@banquetoftheleviathan1404]

I honestly thought finishing last was a sex joke for a while tbh only way it made sense to me Like he takes care of her needs b4 his own cuz hes just a good dude who looks out

[@but_iWantedTo_speakGerman]

because they do lmao

[@starsiegeRoks]

​@Ebony___transgender_is_a_lie try again bot. Yall are always in the replies like rodents, just waiting to argue.

[@PeterAmbos]

I feel obligated to mention: Apple having to switch to USB-C and strong data protection laws punishing US corps are thanks to EU law, not UK law. The Brits left before all that happened.

[@rabbit6546]

Yeah the U.K. is basically trying to force companies to build backdoors to access data so we’re very much doing The Opposite now LMAO

[@antonypastrikos7036]

Thank you I had the exact same thought!

[@Calv_]

Right that it's EU, but definitely GDPR was agreed and published before the UK left the EU or even had the referendum, but technically I believe the UK was in the EU but had already triggered Article 50 when it was implemented/in force.

[@jon-cx7jq]

The EU's "data protection" laws have done literally nothing but add a few extra clicks when you go to a website, we shouldn't blindly glorify bad regulation. Apple chose data protection as part of its consumer brand

[@user-th1pv6ks5o]

I knew they had that in Canada, I didn't know that came over here too. Based ngl.

[@tabsterg]

Everyone always says _"I don't know how to solve the problem"_ almost as if it were a personal responsibility but I think a good start would be if social media companies stopped tossing vulnerable children into these rabbit holes the SECOND they detect any just because it creates more engagement. People gotta realize that these kind of cesspools don't just pop up naturally, they're forced into popularity by algorithms that prefer the worse kind of behaviour because it's also the most profitable.

[@beardedgeek973]

It must be very possible to have the algorithm to block instead of push it.

[@EDARDO112]

This is basicly how any social media works, if you do that the left and right wing as well as mainstream media would fall from popularity and people would become more resonable, but reasonable don't generate clicks.

[@alphaHero100]

BoTh SiDeS @@EDARDO112

[@sjue316]

@@EDARDO112 They're already falling from popularity. If you're paying attention it's fairly obvious.

[@aeron3665]

The Instagram comment thing is unreal. I commented literally a five word sentence on something and out of NOWHERE a man called me an obese ugly attention seeker and attacked me for being a single mother I was like hello?????? I deactivated my insta a few weeks ago cuz I can’t even scroll without seeing every single comment section attacking women it’s horrid.

[@kabnoot]

Wtf thats messed up

[@EDARDO112]

What did you comment though? cus if it was some fu*ked up stuff i can understand....

[@Extra.Medium]

I'm a truck driver and I feel something like that road rage constantly. I can look down from my seat into your car and clearly see you texting and driving with your knees with your kid in the back. I also almost daily get a moment of "you are alive right now because I was paying attention. You're fucking welcome Jersey plate".

[@AmyAberrant]

I was on a bus and I looked in front and saw a woman cycling with kids in the trailer while texting on her phone. I was so livid.

[@benmarkus3675]

Always the god damn Jersey plates....

[@ThatCrazyBookWyrm]

Jarvis talking about his rule following becoming more of a "the government/these companies arent following the rules" I FEEL SO SEEN

[@franjkav]

I was just complaining to my friend last night about the misogyny on Reddit. I hardly even look at social media at this point but when I do it feels impossible to avoid the woman hating. It’s very frustrating

[@katc2040]

Yeah all of reddit freaked the fuck out when a mod didn't like someone using females to refer to women.

[@katc2040]

That's when I was like okay it's not even worth going on reddit anymore

[@RealElongatedMuskrat]

I legit changed my name and pic here on KZbin because all I got was r*pe threats or "kys bitch" replies :))) I like watching documentaries on here and in the comments when I'd share my opinion, it was "she needs fucked into an early grave" (actual reply I got) or "woman comment, irrelevant, kys" type thing the best majority of the time. Once I changed my name and pic to be totally ambiguous, most now assume I'm male and I have all sorts of civil discussions, lots of men disagreeing with me but treating me with basic respect because they think I'm one of them. Bruh.

[@black-nails]

@@RealElongatedMuskrat that sounds so terrible. I'm a bit ambiguous on insta (mostly drawings) and yet I still had people scroll down so much to see some of my old pictures where I did drag/ was posing and rate them/ be creepy in the middle of discussion. Like "i'll hit that version of you, but this one is ugly"?? Now when I took down some of my pics I almost never get any comments about my personal profile while discussing stuff. It's so disturbing that once some people see that you are a woman/ queer person/ etc they immediately forget that you are human

[@Niobesnuppa]

It's such a shame, because there are a lot of very good and supportive communities on Reddit, but the fact that the popular tab is always populated with amiugly and truerateme stuff makes me not want to visit the website anymore. Even the front page stuff that's not those kinds of communities always have a lot of bigoted comments if you scroll just a little bit down.

[@yellobb3848]

I’m a huge rule follower and I feel Jarvis so much. It could have turned me into a cop, but instead it turned me into a leftist 😆

[@iamjustkiwi]

For sure, its weird how the same things can drag people to such opposite extremes. Definitely makes talking to a lot of the older people in my life difficult because its like...I get it, but i also cannot genuinely relate.

[@shrinebow.]

Happy for you!

[@zmp323]

Same🫡

[@demetriam2408]

I always got so stressed playing games because people never followed the rules, because it's just a game or whatever... but like, it's more than that to me. It's the principle. I don't want to play with you if you don't care because it's not fun that way.

[@Crazetex]

saaaame

[@darkaiel]

Early on Jordan says as a joke you'd rather your boss thinks you're bad and dumb than have any mental stress and it hits so hard. I literally just emailed my boss about what's going on because of that.

[@honeysweet4804]

hope things go well

[@naianz]

The only way. Transparency is the best policy.

[@leahdehnel5169]

hope that whatever is causing you stress is resolved soon and well

[@sadlystuckinreality]

Oh my god, Jarvis talking about driving was so relatable. That's how I talk to other people in cars too. I'm such a rule follower as well 😭

[@danijones8314]

ahh same!! i forgot to signal once and immediately felt like a horrible person😭😭😭

[@genderender]

the biggest thing for me is no one reading construction signs. they will wait until the last moment to merge into the one lane when there's a whole mile of signs saying to do this. you're causing the traffic!!!

[@LilyShimizu]

@@genderenderit’s not even just construction signs, I see people do this with regular lane merges like highway entrances or just neighborhood roads. There’s a lane merge just before the turn into my neighborhood and the sign is to merge to the right, and some people to the left act like you’re the a**hole if they’re riding next to you and YOU don’t slow down to let them ahead of you, rather than just hanging back and merging behind you. Also don’t understand why people wait until the very end of the merge lane on highways to actually join the traffic when they have a crystal clear opening the entire time. I think it’s always better to merge as soon as you can, not at the choke point where you are forced to by the lines in the road.

[@charalanahzard]

THX FOR HAVING ME SAD BOYZ

[@dragone236]

I think yall might really like FD Signifiers videos on the manosphere. He does a great job of talking about how we are failing young boys while also discussing the patriarchy.

[@drouseyman]

they should really invite fiq on the show that'd be a very fun episode

[@kiralonely1307]

@@drouseyman this is such a genuinely amazing idea. Especially considering how many of fiq's videos are about men's mental health, and like the whole purpose of the podcast is being open about that.

[@drouseyman]

@@kiralonely1307 exactly ‼️‼️

[@catabat49654]

Someone fly Fiq out to LA so he can be on this podcast!!!! How much do I need to pay on Patreon for that to happen? 😂

[@drouseyman]

@@catabat49654 a gazillion dollar

[@Insomniacrylic]

It makes me really sad seeing young boys fall into misogyny so early. I remember being in sixth grade trying to help a kindergartener and he looked at me and said “I don’t listen to girls.” Like that’s a five year old kid and he’s not coming up with that shit by himself

[@Flokcher]

All small kids are like that dumbass, especially kindergerteners. There has always been this boys vs girl thing made by kids, its very much normal and they will grow out of it when they reach middle school or high school.

[@nwp-hz5dm]

RIGHT, It's so scary. I remember being sexually harassed (and my other female classmates) in fucking middle school by 6 and 7 year old boys!! they were too small to have any kind of sexual desire or whatever, that couldn't be coming from them, they saw that shit somewhere else and thought it was cool or something

[@beybladebaby]

on the plus side some of them will hopefully learn how idiotic and useless their hatred is and grow out of it quicker? one can only hope. it would be nice if they had female friends LOL

[@miskatonic_alumni]

This is in large part the fault of oblivious, careless, and incompetent parents buying devices for their spawn and giving their online activities little or no supervision. Preteens shouldn't have unsupervised internet access.

[@SuperNicktendo]

I used to be a guy who would have took tates advice. What got me out of it was I finally took a constructive look at myself and worked on making myself better instead of blaming others. Took a bit but I wish I could go back and tell 16 year old me what to do so I could avoid 8 more years of frustration.

[@indiecloud100]

It's good to know people can change their minds given the right circumstances. Hope you're in a much better place now 🍀

[@win_jayden]

​@@gotmilkbutt while I've never fallen down the same pipeline, I will say it is remarkably easy to listen to advice that is ostensibly blaming everyone else for your own failings and shortcomings. Cause it's easier to accept that it is out of your own control rather than taking some accountability and actually listening to people. I don't mean to be mean to OP! He did the necessary work and introspection to hopefully move on to the next phase of life happier and healthier!!

[@larbot3433]

Love a growth mindset

[@cosplaycatcriminal]

Good on you! I hope you're in a much better place, and that more people have that realization.

[@EDARDO112]

Just imagine if all the women who go on the internet to say they hate men did the same.... god... what a wonderful world

[@slimebunni]

getting angry at other drivers in the way jarvis does is too relatable. for me it just comes from not being able to predict what others are doing because nobody follows the rules and that makes me freak out.

[@LilyShimizu]

Big same. There is a huge lack of trust in the people you’re supposed to be sharing the road and cooperating with and when we’re all riding in 2 ton death machines that erosion of trust is crazy scary and dangerous.

[@slimebunni]

@@LilyShimizu you've put it better than I ever could have!! At least I can have a little solace in the fact that others also feel the same way

[@cloudedfilms]

sad boyz dropping friday is the best thing for me because im rarely off weekends and it always drops at the best time at work

[@SamuraiGuy]

People always talk about not using your blinkers at all, but I think it's just as bad when you don't use your blinker until you're already turning. The point of blinkers is to display your intentions. People act like the signal just alleviates them of any fault if they cause an accident.

[@LilyShimizu]

Very true, it’s about as useful as not using a blinker at all to use it as soon as you begin a movement in that direction. You have to give it at least a second for nearby people to notice.

[@brumhelldah917]

Yeah I’m learning to drive and I’ve been having that problem with using the blinker but I’m trying to be better about it

[@nikkob1252]

Yeah, although I don’t get as angry if I get cut off by someone using a blinker as soon as they merge, like at least an effort was made

[@TheCoolTeam]

Instagram has the WORST comment section. There's no downvote system and it glorifies the worst comments.

[@seth1130]

Instagram Reels comments are so filled with hate speech and just general negativity that it hurts

[@hypercube8792]

I worked as a therapist for a substance abuse center with a lot of people who didn’t necessarily have a drinking problem but got a DUI/DWI. Let me tell you guys, if you have no care for your own or other people’s safety, it is still not worth it. The amount of judicial, financial problems you’ll deal with. Then forced to go to therapy and then complaining you’re not an alcoholic. IT’S ON YOU. Get an Uber or call a friend.

[@OptimusMuff]

Bro that “um actually” comment to the girl that was just asking if she could work in a specific field as a black woman made me physically wince. How do people like that exist? And how do you type that out and not think “wow, maybe I’m a piece of shit.” ???

[@PolnareffsLeftNut]

Yeah it's repulsive people like that who are the reason women and poc women are discouraged from so many fields. People like that act like the reason why there's a disproportionate percentage of men vs. women in, for example, STEM fields, is simply because women aren't smart enough to be in those fields. And then they have the GALL to say that it's just "biology" or whatever. That is an insult to women and the larger science community as a whole.

[@hioute]

i absolutely love road rage Jarvis. i'm exactly the same. lived in a city with horrible drivers recently and it literally made me develop new driving fears i'd never had even after like 10 years of driving, i hated it so much

[@macularius]

the trojan horse metaphor took me a second to parse, so at first instead of "the (wooden) horse = working out and eating healthy" I was just willing to accept that Jarvis was trying to conjure an image of this rad horse that goes to the gym for some reason

[@rabbit6546]

OH I COMPLETELY MISSED THE JOKE I THOUGHT THEY WERE DESCRIBING A COOL HORSE TOO

[@kymbredwyeryoga]

This is why I read the comments as I start listening to the show, so I can get clarity on the confusion I know I'll have. Lmao.

[@rabbit6546]

Jordan talking about the illusion of the U.K. government attempting to take care of itself I’m like bestie I wish I could see that bc from my perspective as a trans person I’m just seeing a lot of incompetent ppl trip over themselves as fast as they can to destroy my life LOL

[@Fleshdeficiency]

All I see is jellied eels, chewsdays, and pdfiles.

[@рената_цехановецкая]

@@Fleshdeficiencynot only pdfiles, pdfiles who have been knighted and already hold royal status

[@user-uv2cp1qd1j]

@@Fleshdeficiency to be clear this isn’t directed at you, but as a British person I think all British people mentally respond to those memes with confused impatience. Jellied Eels are an incredibly regional ‘delicacy’ that hasn’t been eaten regularly for over 100 years. It’s like calling Alligator Stew a classic American dish when like 2 people make it in one town in Florida. ‘Chews day’ is an exaggeration of *some* UK accents. It would be like going “Howdy Y’all” and expected someone from California to be like ‘ah yes, I say that’.

[@Fleshdeficiency]

@@user-uv2cp1qd1j curious how you avoided the pdfile accusations??? 😱😱😱

[@sideways5153]

@@user-uv2cp1qd1j at least there are other things to bring up when you talk about the US, if you wanna talk about England your choices are limited to the imperialism, the Thatcherism, the TERFs, the monarchists, the banking industry, or the fact that even after importing as much personality as possible from around the world England itself is still one of the most blandly cruel countries in the world. A man accused the entire country of preferring to eat Irish babies over establishing any kind of social welfare and people still haven’t got anything more fun to discuss about the country. Some of the most popular stories from England and Britain are about the British oppressing Scotland or some guy mansplaining things. Pink Floyd kicked off the modern counterculture movement by pointing out the fact that in spite of being very proud of fighting the Nazis, the UK was still an incredibly fascist and cruel country. Like, I understand being politely frustrated with only hearing the same dozen cracks about accents or awful food, but maybe England should develop an actual personality beyond being too lazy to drive 20 minutes away to visit family? I’ve literally never heard anything good about England like wracking my brain, gun to my head, the best things about England always seem to be English people or their colonies complaining about how awful England is. Sorry not trying to dunk it’s just my opinion on the English is in roughly the same area as Jordan’s opinion on the French. Hope you’re having a nice day, I have no doubt you have better things to do than stew over a rambly KZbin comment

[@youtube_handles_are_annoying]

TW: Suicide/Suicidal Thoughts I know they only briefly touched on this but I related so heavily when Jarvis was talking about how he wouldn't have to do his interview with Microsoft if the plane went down. I was suicidal for many years, and while not being suicidal anymore is a very very good thing, one thing that was really hard for me to deal with was not having an out for things that made me anxious. Because my go to thought for stressful situations was either, I wouldn't have to deal with this if I was dead, or, at least if this goes badly I can always just die, and there is a level of comfort to that. While I'm not suicidal anymore it was intially very hard to not have that safety net, so it is reassuring to know that other people have had even slightly similar experiences, regardless of the scale, severity, or context.

[@Kayla_P99]

This episode was an interesting peak into how creators have different ethical considerations than the average internet user and overall very thoughtful.

[@sophlamppost]

I’m not confident that this can be generalized to most creators. Jarvis and Jordan (and their circle) come across as more mature than a lot of people I know irl, let alone Influencers™️

[@Kayla_P99]

@@sophlamppost fair, it's definitely true that not all influncers actually consider these things

[@Zectifin]

I can agree with Jarvis that I was fed "nice guys finish last" stuff and could have gone down that road and didn't because I didn't hate women, just like Alanah said. I had trouble with women in high school, got a girlfriend, had to move across the country, dated someone, then could barely get a dad for 3 years before I found my current girlfriend. I had several female friends who I cared about and I had male friends telling me nice guys finish last. I even had my best friend (a woman) tell me I should read one of those pickup artist books because I was having such a hard time. I hated the book and the only thing I learned from it was to squeeze a girls hand you were talking to and if she squeezes back, shes actually into you. and it worked and I figured out thats how my current partner was definitely into me. I didn't hate women though. I saw a lot of girls I tried to date who said no to me date guys who ended up being total shit heads to them. I saw several of my friends who were girls get cheated on or left for another woman. And I struggled. I realized it was all bullshit though. I cared about those girls/women. I wouldn't want to use shitty tactics against them or I'd be just like those assholes. One final thing that finished it for me, before I met my current partner was my best guy friend had a crush on my best gal friend. He was the one who was telling me nice guys finish last. Well he tried to date her when she was vulnerable after a bad breakup and be there for her emotionally, after she felt better she said she did not want to date him but thanks for being there for her. He then became a douche and tried to guilt trip her and make her feel bad. After that our friend group met a pair of sisters and my guy friend had a crush on the older sister and I had a crush on the younger sister. My friend, the douche, told the older sister I wasn't a good guy and to watch out for me since I liked her younger sister. She told her sister that and the sister knowing me thought that was weird and told me. I never did anything to show that I treated women, or anyone in general poorly and him being one of my best friends should know that. I realized he was a backstabbing asshole and I stopped talking to him after I moved out of our place and turned my back on the whole "nice guys finish last" bullshit. it still sucked I was having a hard time with women, but I knew it wasn't the fault of women. I just had bad depression and anxiety and was awkward and that was my problem, not theirs.

[@vaillville3438]

This was a nice read, I appreciate you telling us a little about your life experiences.

[@alloftheabove202]

I noticed this as well!! It's made me really hate going on social media, especially Instagram now. The content is all just woman hating bait with so much of the "hey look at this interview with this dumb woman who doesn't know the capital of __". But not even that, even any content involving a woman always just has its comments flooded with sexual stuff but in this aggressive, derogatory way. I don't know whether it's normal guys letting off steam anonymously or if its getting worse - makes it really scary to be a woman on the internet

[@starsiegeRoks]

I'm starting to feel like it's a collective propaganda effort, to bombard us with negativity and ensure that we have nowhere intellectually calm to talk about things. Even on this video, alot of the people being hateful and aggressive in the replies have profiles with no content, many of them created recently, and they rarely argue back if you make a coherent point, just saying something crappy to someone else. It reeks of a social-media organized disinformation campaign, where a few hundred/thousand people are making loads of sock accounts to make us mad, and to make it seem like "their side" is everywhere and more popular. But that's me putting on my tin-foil hat and rambling (sorry). The alternative is that there's actually a crap-load of absolutely frothing-mad boys and men that can't help but to metaphorically scream at anything they don't like, and that's even more terrifying.

[@catabat49654]

The discussion about society failing young men is one that plagues my mind daily. One of my good friend’s boyfriend (cishet white man) constantly laments about how society throws people like him to the wayside but uplifts marginalized communities without thinking twice. Now, he was raised in a VERY toxic household in rural Pennsylvania (Appalachia), so those dynamics definitely shape the person he is and for sure he has less privilege than the dudes I went to high school with who had rich parents and went to Ivy leagues without thinking twice. It’s a weird balance between helping young men understand the dimensions of intersectionality and how those identities are perceived on the surface by society while also acknowledging that young men & boys need to still be emotionally fulfilled as people

[@fluidthought42]

Thing is that society does disregard the wellbeing of men, but it's still a patriarchal society that's doing that to men. It's more productive to view the system of "privilege" as less of one where men are dominant, but rather one which uses flattery and promises of rewards to men in return for subservience to the system (which can involve demanding more control over women). As Fiq once out it, it's not men vs women, it's everybody vs the patriarchy. Because as much as the patriarchy paints itself as the natural right and ultimate fulfillment of men's desires, in reality it's the force that grooms men into having fears and insecurities that drive men into conforming into the social hierarchy. It's promises of power and fulfillment are just tools for planting the seed of insecurity within the hearts of men; as any good marketing strategist knows a good way to sell a product by creating or inventing a need for it.

[@revafunpocalyptic]

(referencing 1:18:08) i'm pretty firmly in the lgbt section of jarvis and jordan fans and personally i'm really heartwarmed by all the discussions of young men's mental health and isolation. i think it's really really important to understand the issues that these people face, i think it isn't helpful to anybody to just mock young men for being stupid for falling into bigotry or smth. and it's great to hear that discussion from people who i know have a nuanced perspective on the issue and understand the harm these men are doing. it is definitely tough to balance audiences who often have very different viewpoints on these issues but i think there will always be people who are comfortable with both sides of this discussion

[@gabrielamonasterio6]

I would love it if y'all could put the channels of the guests in the description! It can be deceptively hard to find some peoples channels, especially when its not clear which is the "main" and which is the 2nd/3rd, etc (looking at you greenisnotnick/nickisnotgreen). Love the show, the guests have all been awesome recently!

[@chuckmcluckin6082]

This is not the first time I've heard idiots talk about something similar to "pair bonding," but it's my first time hearing a name placed to it. What it sounds like to me is a stupid rule that exists in some fantasy harem anime that doesn't exist, but incels have clung onto because they can't tell Fact or Fiction, and think it's not Beyond Belief.

[@hotboxhearse]

13:54 i literally had this same thing happen to me with an operation on an ingrown toenail, i called them back like as soon as i left because i was in immense pain and iirc it took weeks to get back in just to get me on antibiotics and they only very vaguely suggested it was an "oopsie wittle accident" from the operation

[@ThereAre4Lights]

I suppose I am a woman who is part of the "sect" that doesn't really agree that we need to coddle men and be so sweetly supportive of them while they learn not to be violent and hateful towards women. A lot of white women feel "persecuted" by the Karen meme, and does anyone jump to wonder how white women are actually oppressed as well, and women in general are suffering, including white women, and we should be kinder to them and understanding and give them gentle humour to make them realize the error of their ways? Not really, and I don't think we should, the way the meme has gone is a net good. It's not about them, it's about coping with the abuse with humour, and if the Karens learn that theyre being awful through that then great but it's not the goal. I totally see this perspective that y'all discuss in this one so I am not trying to just be mad, it's just important to give some perspective of being a woman who gets harassed constantly online and how crushing and systematic it is. Every conversation about incels, which are a frequently violent and deadly extremist group, pretty quickly results in a conversation of how to help them, how sad they must be, wondering about their emotions and how lonely they are. They are a group that is being taught to be entitled and violent, and imo babying them reinforces the entitlement. I absolutely don't know what the solution is instead but just like the podcast guest today was talking about, women just existing is met with vitriol and maybe it would be nice to put more energy into women's feelings, lifting us up, wondering about *our* emotions and whether *we* are lonely, and just let men lose their gd minds over it. Any time a big change in human rights has happened, especially when it's been put into law, there's always been a counter movement, including violent ones. But that doesn't mean we should still be playing around in the shallow end letting those people decide how much progress we make! Maybe it would look functionally the same as people like you already do! Pointing out the ridiculousness of these people looks the same on the outside, but it would be nice if the motivation would be giving us some relief and having fun with like minded people and sharing a progressive way of life together, not babying and pandering to sexist men. If you baby people doesn't that just add to the entitlement? Love the podcast, and it has been such a great discussion, I just thought I would share on this cause it's more than just an online discussion to women, it's our lives, our safety, and our personhood! Take care y'all ❤

[@dovedozen]

it's all about knowing your audience in each individual interaction imo. I have no problem sounding like A Big Bitch On Purpose in my personal group chats or when I'm talking to my wife about some reddit post, but in public spaces like this I think it IS really important to have nuanced discussions; the alienation these men feel is NOT going to go away on its own & they ARE going to keep making it everyone's problem in the meantime. The "Karen" thing is a little different, but much like The Way Men Act it always makes me think about how systemic problems with our society cause people to act like fucking dickheads for very avoidable reasons. White women who were raised in certain social environments think their preconceived notions abt how customer service interactions are supposed to go are objectively correct & react badly when reality behaves differently from what they were expecting. If they could have been realistically expected to make meaningful connections with people outside of their social stratum earlier in their lives, they might not be so prone to Being Like This! But the social environment they spend their whole lives in discourages & punishes that kind of curiosity, WHICH IS EXTREMELY SAD, because now they DO have people online whipping insults at them over something that, while it IS their responsibility, IS NOT really their fault - everyone who's ever been in charge of them LET this happen because it was easier than questioning their own worldviews for 5 minutes. Men are the same, on a proportionately larger scale. They grow up getting punished socially for authentically expressing their emotions & needs, so they never learn to do it elegantly or skillfully. They're punished for building certain types of close friendships with other men; when my best friend spent half our time in high school together sitting in my lap & playing with my hair that was just How Girls' Friendships Go, but if we'd been boys it would have been a transgression with lasting social consequences. Young men grow up with nobody to talk to & very limited positive touch available to them, and get told BY THE SOCIETY IN CHARGE OF RAISING THEM that the ONLY solution is to find one (1) woman who can fill all the interpersonal needs they're not "allowed" to rely on their peers for, forever. In reality, the second you find the right social group it's extremely easy to realize how bullshit the "rules" these guys have been taught really are, but to someone who hasn't learned to question and unpack this stuff yet, those social groups look like packs of freaks and outcasts; they can't fathom that we're happy because all they see is "people who do stuff I would never dream of doing; they must be so miserable, for they have broken The Social Contract & will never be allowed to have Normal Lives". In both cases, I DO feel sorry for these people. They've never practiced questioning and dismantling assumptions someone else taught them to have, & with all the baggage they've been allowed to collect about it, the prospect of doing so in a meaningful way NOW must terrify the shit out of them. Which is a shame, because asking myself "hey does this suck?" about something I do as a habit is one of my favorite activities. They don't KNOW about that, and that's AWFUL, because there's shit they take for granted about their lives that sucks and might continue to suck FOREVER. Using a relatively broad platform like a youtube channel to reach out to people like that & potentially clue them in to the fact that nothing is stopping them from trying on a change in perspective is a very noble goal, imo. (But I do heartily recommend curating SOME part of your daily life in a way that lets you blow off some steam about it all - it IS our responsibility to be aware of the way men come to be That Way, even if it isn't our fault, but it's also our responsibility to take care of ourselves in relative private so we can go about our daily business without fuckin yelling at dudes over every little thing. Sometimes someone needs to get yelled at; sometimes they don't! It's on the potential yeller to know the difference.)

[@truckerdave8465]

Yay! I Found a new Person to adore! Alanah is delightful and as a woman gamer, she’s peak representation! She reminds me to have modern devs on my list of cool women in gaming, even though I must name drop Roberta Williams here for historical purposes.

[@moeezS]

Roberta is a legend!

[@maroonguy]

In response to Jordan's Uber eats getting stolen shortly after it was dropped off: So my boyfriend was a Doordash driver for a while and I would sometimes go with him and help out (because sometimes when we were both pretty busy it was the only time I'd get to spend time with him but anyway) and one time he left this big order on someone's doorstep (because that's what they requested he do) and we had literally just pulled out of the apartment complex and we saw this group of guys grab the bags and I stupidly yelled out the window "Put that back!" and *TWO OF THEM TOOK OUT GUNS* so we just sped off and then the customer reported that my boyfriend never dropped it off (despite literally taking a picture of it at the doorstep...) and he got basically shadow banned on Doordash and it was insane

[@MrElek79]

Alanah has such insightful takes and knows that she is talking about. She vibes so well with our Sad Boyz, would love to see her on again

[@ebetg4191]

18:11 “you’re lucky i’m driving defensively!” is so real

[@Username_CC_]

As a 30 year old I can only hope that these children might reach a phase where their brains can realize what the real world is like beyond school days and internet discourse and start to be a normal member of society

[@lowtech42]

Another banger episode! I think this might be the best discussion yet. Alanah was a great guest and I'm a fan now. And she's right, there is so much more blatant, open misogyny online now and it's not just festering in the internet dungeons of 4chan and the like. It's the knock-on effect of the mainstream prominence of redpill/manosphere figures like Tate and Pearl in a post-Trump "war on woke" cultural battleground. It's patriarchy driven to it's logical extreme by late capitalism concentrating wealth (and therefore true manhood) in the hands of less and less, while simultaneously dispossessing/disenfranchising the majority of men. Jarvis was spot on in his analysis that there's a material inequality driving this surging wave of misogynistic sentiment that creates insecurity, anger, and frustration-which are all valid-but the problem is the system of patriarchy itself not the women who unilaterally suffer under patriarchy even more than the men. Gender inequality is inseparable from economic inequality. The solution would have to involve not only the dismantling of patriarchy but also the destruction of the capitalist socioeconomic order, and replacing it with an system where the workers have fair say over the work they do and the collective value they generate (socialism, communism). Anything less is unsustainable, like what we're seeing play out right now. The contradictions are piling up to an existential, collective ego crisis. The only way out of the cycles of conflict is through compassion.

[@RandomFromValleyOfTheWind]

Lol

[@Combba6]

​@@RandomFromValleyOfTheWindA poet at heart, I see.

[@sjue316]

Another let's blame capitalism for X people. Thanks for the reminder to never take you serious.

[@lowtech42]

@@sjue316 I wish you well 🙏🏾

[@starsiegeRoks]

​@@sjue3164th comment I've found you in arguing.

[@93MM483N50N]

"i had depression once" was wild to hear. I know most people generally don't struggle with these things consistently but it's so hard to fathom as someone who is the opposite

[@odintheprole6068]

Alanah has such a good chill podcast voice. Great guest!

[@eeeggg33]

Whenever I see someone pull something stupid on the road I find myself shouting "you'd fail your driving test for that!', its nice to know other people have their own versions of polite road anger

[@floffy2695]

Listen, a lot of women in my life are constantly doing and bearing so much emotional burden and sealing their own emotions away in order to maintain their familial and work life, and they act as the therapist / emotional absorbent sponge for their children, parents and friends, whether male or female. There's also the fact that mental illnesses, mental disorders and physical conditions are LARGELY OVERLOOKED in women ALSO, especially when it comes to diagnoses, where men actually do benefit more so than women because their symptoms are largely known and studied compared to women. And then there's the stress of living in an increasingly misogynistic and dystopic world where feminism is mocked viciously or only catered to as a capitalistic product to be consumed. This is worse if women are part of other minority groups like non-White / non-cishet groups. So expecting these women to STILL cater to men's emotional needs?? Not AT ALL POSSIBLE. I'm sorry for men, their overlooked issues and especially their mental health, but at the end of the day, it falls LARGELY on men themselves to take a collective stand and action against these issues. Women can LEND THEIR SUPPORT and trust me, so many do, but they can't bear the burden of having to fight for both their right to be treated as a human with basic dignity, and men's right to cry. It also doesn't help that the majority of these insecure men don't view women as HUMAN BEINGS. It is infinitely exhausting to deal with someone who doesn't acknowledge your humanity but still expects you to help with their issues while simultaneously causing most of it. Feminists can help, provide support and spread awareness. But it's men who need to properly stand up and take a measured action. I can't explain this more politely.

[@tkettlesoup]

this is the take

[@PolnareffsLeftNut]

THIS!!!

[@hemanownsyou]

Stop acting like Men don't bear a lot of emotional burdens of their partners. They very much do! That's part of the problem with why men are frustrated. It's getting really annoying seeing women acting like us venting our frustrations is just men expecting you to be our therapists. That is such a bullshit take and just proves that many women aren't actually listening to what men are actually complaining about.

[@fluidthought42]

I don't think it's a matter of calling for women to save men, although women do need to be part of the solution (just not in the way you think). Rather that it's about spreading awareness of how patriarchy is manipulating men into serving the system rather than their own personal or even collective needs. For example let's use your health hypothetical. While it is true that women are more likely to be disregarded, belittled or ignored, men are instead socialized to not speak up about issues or else be seen as lesser or weaker, which helps lead to trends like men having on average shorter lifespans than wonen. This isn't to downplay the struggles of women, but rather to illuminate how the system devalues both men and women in service of the same goal: maintaining a social hierarchy in service of authoritarian ideals. Now for what needs to be done, yeah most of it will have to be worked on by men within men's circles, within community of the masculine. But the only thing that I would ask of women is that they make sure that they do not pass on toxic masculinity towards the boys they help raise, which yes is asking for emotional labor but asking for more conscious emotional labor for those already dedicated to doing so. That means teaching little boys it's okay to cry, not expecting boys to feel less emotional pain than girls, and teaching boys how to be more emotionally intelligent. Toxic masculinity isn't a trait solely passed on between men and boys, women also are involved in perpetuating the conditions and rhetoric necessary for toxic masculinity to spread and take root. Toxic masculinity is endemic to our society because patriarchy _is_ our society. And like I said somewhere else before, under patriarchy it's not men vs women it's all of us vs the patriarchy.

[@GenTink]

I relate to Jarvis's version of road rage so much. I got my license in July at 34 and NO ONE FOLLOWS THE RULES.

[@SleepyMedia]

I truly relate to the overworking through depression. Jokes on me though because Autistic Burnout is a thing lmao

[@SLYCoopaEatsChicken]

I relate to Road Rage Jarvis sm like when people don’t follow rules around respect and safety related things it makes me livid

[@michaldobrzyn]

World's colliding. I love Allanah and I've recently discovered Sad Boyz.

[@Cavemanner]

This is not the collab I ever expected, but it was the one I desperately needed. I've loved Alanah's personality and takes for a while and it was great getting to see the unhappy lads really dig into that with her. Honestly this is the one episode of Nights that's gonna make me sub to the patreon for a month just to hear it, all the others will just be icing. Even as a dude Alanah is such an inspiration for where sticking to what you love can take you farther than you ever expected as long as you're willing to pair it with a healthy (or sometimes unhealthy) amount of hard work.

[@DawnlightSleep]

I try to have understanding and compassion for people that go through this andrew tate pipeline and all that but at the end of the day its so hard to. At least for the grown men in their 20s and up. At some point they have to take accountability. If going on social media wasn't bad enough before, now it genuinely affects my mental health horribly as well as many of my friends who are also women. How in the world do you think women and POC feel if white men feel lonely and whatever? There is no excuse.

[@DawnlightSleep]

I'm of course not talking about kids and teens who are too young/inexperienced to know better.

[@lunaverse4977]

Yeah, i know the right thing is to have understanding and be patient and that getting mad won't help them get out of that cesspool and oly confirm their own stereotypes about women, but it is genuinely exhausting trying to be nice to people that straight up don't see you as a full person.

[@DawnlightSleep]

@@lunaverse4977 Yes that is exactly right! It shouldn't be our responsibility.

[@Sleepyratcoon]

​@@lunaverse4977yah😮‍💨

[@insertnamehere6227]

The comment history thing is weirdly just a mobile feature, it's really funny to click on some awful comments profile and see "400 comments on this channel"

[@Mr.deacle]

43:14 I call that a "New Coke" (a big dumb distraction to let the company sneak high fructose corn syrup into "classic" Coke).

[@hitopstl]

This is probably my favorite episode of the podcast so far, such an important conversation to be had and to make people aware of. My decision to start replaying Pokémon GO was during 2020 lockdown because I needed to be on my phone to feed the physical habit I developed from almost a decade of daily smartphone usage, but my brain needed SOMETHING that wasn't modern social media. It feels like SM is getting worse and worse. but good people need to keep posting to combat and counter the dishonest and exploitative content that the kids are getting online these days.

[@mercury4885]

alanah was a wonderful guest & i'm definitely gonna check out her other platforms. hope to see her back with the sadlads!

[@natrosenquist]

OMG YES Thank you, Jarvis! Signaling/indicating SHOULD be a muscle memory. I signal even when NOONE is around. Just in case.

[@olliemolliegollie5770]

i just really wanna thank y'all for talking about the way young men are struggling and how those struggles are so often downplayed by leftist communities online. i'm a young trans guy, and when i came out i lost almost all of my safe spaces within leftist communities and got treated with so much vitriol (even within the lgbtq community despite being trans) because i was "choosing" to be a man or to "become the enemy" or whatever. if i were cis i could definitely see myself getting sucked into the alt right manosphere pipeline because i truly felt like i had nowhere to turn. i'm so glad sad boyz exists because it creates a space where men are actually held accountable while also getting to have our struggles and emotions treated with the weight that they deserve.

[@Eeppydeepy]

The driving rant is so relatable 😭 there’s something about driving that brings out the most selfish, dangerous, inconsideratness of some people and “debating” the types that drive that way is equally as infuriating

[@keyvonsilva3297]

such a good convo guys. i am glad you guys reached these topics with nuance. not alot of genuine convos about this stuff. appreciate you guys.

[@spacecat7864]

37:35 that PoGo event gave me an arthritis flair up in my thumbs that I didn’t think I was old enough for lol.

[@itsAustinGreen]

someone needs to collect all of jordan’s bi sitting poses like pokemon cards

[@zimbu_]

I'm guessing people are just more unlikely to leave if they're either angry about what they're seeing or having their opinions validated, and algorithms are rewarding that audience retention with more impressions. I'd imagine this type of content is also a big comment-getter.

[@obrigaah]

We definitely need more men on the left to talk about issues young boys face. But they're already are people like fd.signifire, art of manliness, and Hasan's chadvice shows. So a lot of it does have to do with the algorithm favoring flashy and over the top people like Tate who is wealthy, has a lot of cars, says women aren't smart and can't drive. And let's be real, Young boys are drawn to that type of shit. It's feeds that algorithm. So it's going to take an incredible amount of effort to reach those kids.

[@RamenKitsune]

My road rage inducing thing is led headlights. They are too bright to be on vehicles behind me, they hit my rearview and shine into my eye and honestly I'm gonna have someone rear end me or run me off the road because of them. I hate them and should be outlawed.

[@PossiblyAlena]

This is one of my favorite sad boys episodes yet. Idk what it is about it but the jumps from topic to topic and each of the topics are engaging or relatable or something that's just **chef kiss*

[@woody_you_want]

I'm gonna hard disagree with Alanah about people like Elon just being that stupid. When you're that rich and powerful, no one tells you no and you can basically openly comitt crimes. Basically every stupid thought these people have are glorified so they just pump them out. Not to mention a lot of them just fail upwards

[@mjjjermaine]

+1

[@aleciabrimer6200]

Shipping real people is so goddamn weird

[@zmp323]

The Andrew Tates of the world flock to where a lack of proper moderation allows their message to reach the greatest number of people. Unfortunately, the biggest culprits are short form video platforms, many of which are growing rapidly in popularity.

[@megbrianne3330]

jordon saying musk is like a drug dealer that wont leave 😭 i feel like i understand him in a new way

[@Avendesora]

EMDR is a fantastic therapy for working through traumatic events. It's highly effective and only takes a few weeks or even just a few sessions, depending on the individual. It was super helpful for me and I highly recommend trying it if you have means or access.

[@beansbeansbeans576]

I love how you talked about how society is failing young men. I’m 28F, queer, total leftist, but I’m so concerned how a lot of leftist communities are “othering” these young, confused men. I feel like a lot of them don’t have any other choice then to go down those alt-right pipelines because those spaces are more “welcoming” right now. If that makes sense.

[@ok.4322]

Oh who cares, half the time they are the ones dehumanizing and being gross in the first place. It’s always men, men, men oh what about the men. I’m so sick of it

[@sjue316]

They're othering them because they don't actually care about them and goes against the narrative of men are bad. You should know that being in a leftist hell hole. The reason so many men are going "right" instead of "left" is because the right doesn't judge them and the left does. It's highly obvious.

[@buttertoast1146]

Imagine flext being a total leftist?

[@tanner0397]

I'm a rule follower if the rules are there for public safety and such. Like traffic laws, they provide a framework for keeping yourself and others safe on the road. But I'll go and skate in an empty parking lot when I know I'm not allowed to do that. It just pisses me off when people don't think about others around them.

[@zenleeparadise]

My anxiety and depression are really intertwined so it's really interesting to hear someone talk about having depression but not being anxious at all. Like... I genuinely can't fathom what that would be like.

[@nontheoretical1]

Love watching Jordan destroy a blanket one thread at a time.

[@gwynbaty1983]

i really appreciate y'all talking about needing to be productive to stay sane. i've really been feeling that lately, and while i know overworking and burning out isn't a good solution either, it's nice to know that other people feel a similar way when they don't have enough on their plate. i'm hoping to get something in my life besides my boring office job soon.... i think striving for something more would really help me out.

[@sierragutierrez9941]

UGH NO I LITERALLY HAVE ROAD RAGE SO BAD IN LA… I fcking when people speed through traffic, no blinkers, and going in and out of the carpool lane. ALSO THE CARPOOL LANE CAN BE SO SMALL SOMETIMES.

[@weburnbridges]

First time ever seeing this podcast, probably got recommended because I follow alanah, but man this was such a great and interesting podcast. New fan for sure.

[@honeysweet4804]

i completely agree!!! recently insta comments specifically are just so awful and miserable,,, like unbearably so

[@melissastory1993]

I definitely worked for a company who was like “yeah, no, that doesn’t work for us” when I was going through a ton of personal traumas at once 🙃

[@MegaMind169]

Just wanted to start with saying that I spent 11 hours playing Pokémon Go on Sunday after having a break since 2017 and I blame you 100% for my misgivings.

[@ScottCalvinsClause]

I have driven most of my life in rural areas, but recently I visited family in SoCal and I learned so quickly that the only way to drive is super aggressive. You go from a 4-way stop to a 45mph zone, that requires a pretty uncomfortable acceleration. You enter a highway on the right and have to hop 4 lanes to the left to take a weird left-side-exit. Etc, etc. I came back home and drove like an asshole for half a week just tryin to re-adjust.

[@beththebubbly69]

love the pod as always :) great for listening while playing stardew valley!

[@tai31415]

17:40 I drive around in the Greater Toronto Area, and I feel this in my bones! The amount of bullshit people do on the highways around here is stupid. You have to be so aware, and actually drive kinda agressively to stay safe sometimes.

[@oliverrs_returnbox]

an australian, a british person and an american in a room, what will happen?

[@WhiteWolf496]

Wow so its not just me. My actual KZbin recommended stuff is fine but when watching shorts etc. I see so much right wing misogynist bs. I spend most of my time saying "don't recommend this channel" but then it just gives me the clips of the same people from different channels. And I have no idea why. All my subscriptions are the complete opposite of that. The KZbin shorts algorithm sucks lol also they really need to stop platforming that bs, and give users more control over their feeds etc.

[@Crazetex]

THE ALANNAH/MUSK LORE HOLY SHIT

[@lunavvitch]

why don't u have clickable links for your guests so I can find them :( they always say their usernames so fast idk what they're saying

[@amaraharris2342]

Alanah Pearce 😂 it’s in the episode title 😂😂

[@lenalemisfit]

When all my favorite people collab is such a cool moment!!! I'd love to see you guys visit Funhaus

[@WIImotionmasher]

I have avoided watching these podcasts but Alanah got me to check this episode out. Nice episode! I avoided them thinking they'd just be depressing (not because of the word Sad lol, but because theyre topical and news discussion often becomes depressing). But turns out, It's just nice to hear level-headed people talk and joke.

[@doctorbone3655]

yall HAVE to get Amanda from Swell Entertainment on here

[@AverageJoe09]

Commented at 1:39:58 I’m a highschool senior now and don’t get a ton of attention/affection/praise so I can kind of relate to the “nice guy” mentality especially when I was younger (12-15). Fortunately I’ve got good parents and strong morals so I currently chalk it up to simply not having found the right person/people. I’ve got a ton of life to live so i can’t make assumptions based off of this small part of my life. I hate making generalizations and don’t understand people who do. From a numbers perspective it’s essentially impossible for all women (or men) to have the same exact traits and views. That’s why I think gender stereotypes are so ridiculous. Also my feed gets seriously gross. I’ve been really into JDM cars recently and there’s always that occasional “look this woman can’t drive” style of video and I can’t handle it. Thats was a long rant and I’m not all that sure how coherent it is, 😅 I think I’m just explaining my point of view on how ridiculous misogyny and gender stereotypes actually are.

[@Zerophoenix1]

honestly i feel like there is little distinction for politics in the algorithm. like i follow a lot of leftist type channels because im a progressive or whatever but i still get like weird alt right comedians and other random questionable shit sometimes. maybe its just cuz i follow some wilderness survival channels but idk. its like youtube doesnt know the difference between alt right and leftist videos even though they couldnt be more diff

[@Il_Dilettante]

do you use youtube shorts a lot?

[@Zerophoenix1]

@@Il_Dilettante honestly i hate short form videos. thats a whole nother thing. like you cant rewind them. theyre just farming us for views. we need agency over what frames we watch in a video!! but yeah i mean i watch the clickbait ones but mostly im watching normal vids or just listening to music. but also ive noticed my shorts are more conservative leaning. sometimes not explicitly but then i go to the channel that made it and theres sus stuff there.

[@maritimus_]

loved this episode !! alanah had the perfect vibes to go with the sad boyz- genuinely a very enjoyable listen, thank you everyone!

[@doctorbone3655]

the way I SCREAMED when i saw alanah!!!!!

[@JamesDelBrocco]

First time watching, great ep! To the point of how a lot of men could've went down the misogyny route, I remember being 18 and discovering reddit and redpill in 2010 and thinking how insane it was to have those views about women and I wonder why I gravitated towards the Gawker/Deadspin/Jezebel realm on the internet too. I think a bright side is that these boys will grow up and be less toxic. But the internet becoming one shared space leads to a lot of harassment of people who don't deserve it. I wonder if we end up if apps that are paid spaces for adults to wall off trolls and toxic people. I mean millennials aren't going to log off so they're going eventually hate being on spaces with kids. I know as a 31 year old I hate making content and dealing with the fact that like a 15 year old will try to debate something they don't know or understand. I know it is worse for any non white cis-het man. I do think we need to create more positive spaces for young men/boys online to grow into their own, vent, and be exposed to a better way of dealing with things.

[@milliel.3343]

Not to be too off-topic but does anyone know what those leggings are? I really want them but just typing in "mesh leggings" brings up almost nothing but shein links...

[@CultivatingWhims]

Polite road rage Jarvis is probably my new favorite Jarvis 😂 i totally understand though. People can be horrible on the road (especially when they dont signal)

[@fiobt]

This has been one of my favorite episodes by far (writing at 1:38:41). I loved the topics and hearing the different perspectives, especially on the issues involving women and younger men. Thanks guys :)