SAILING, Sailing, & Sailing - Across the Atlantic...Such a Tough Passage! (Sailing Brick House #76)

[@RVLifeNOW]

Losing my husband in a foreign port called for decisive action…sometimes in life you are forced to make decisions quickly. I live by it now. Thank you for your opinion… 1. If I didn’t sail fast, I’d pay import duties on the boat 2. if I sold, the boat was worth half in S Africa 3. I’m not young…don’t have time to waste crossing ocean with just a friend..wanted someone with potential to sail longer term with me then just an ocean 4. I fell hard for Michael quite early…was I suppose to tell him..no…can only sail with a friend across an ocean. Suppress my attraction? Sail alone when I have a well qualified captain right there? We both knew what a big risk it was that it would actually work out the way we both wanted it too..it was way too soon after losing Patrick. But we forged ahead…because it was the right thing for both of us. I know many of you feel I got in a relationship too soon, and Michael paid a big price for that… And I wish I had met Michael when I was more healed…. You are probably right, and I thank you for caring for Michael that way… And I thank you all for your detailed heartfelt comments. Since Patrick was hospitalized, and then when he passed, it was these types of comments that have helped me grow and carry on, mourn, and let go…Thank you all for that!

[@B._Smith]

Makes sense. You have one life.

[@Sailingon]

❤️

[@braithmiller]

Thanks for explaining the country pressures. Good decisions to me. Not getting enough time for yourself and isolated from those you know. Michael does seem strong in character and gentleman. Good hands. Realty of sailing and life. I prefer it unfiltered.

[@Cider4144]

Hi Rebecca. Thank you for being so open and honest with this part of your story. Sometimes people come into our lives for very specific reasons and then we all move on to new times. Such is life. Better to take the risks in love and relationships. The rewards are the best even though there are no guarantees. That old saying about in 20 years you regret the things you didn't do far more than the things you did. Best wishes and big love to you both for your futures.

[@wilfdarr]

The fact that you are so accepting of responsibility for how hard you made it on Michael says a lot. Everyone understands that you were and are still grieving: I never met Patric and yet there's still an obvious hole in our community, so I can't imagine what you've gone through. I think it's funny you keep saying in the video “I don't know why I was in such a bad mood”: Everyone who was touched by Patric -understands- knows why you're in a bad mood! That said, Michael is human, so now that you've identified what's going on, do try and catch it and tame it. Best of luck to you both. ❤

[@homer5802]

I once had dog. He was the best dog I ever had. When he died, I got another one of the exact same breed expecting him to be just as great as my old one. I compared the new dog to my old one. I quickly learned that it wasn't fair to the new one. Their personalities we like night and day. The new dog was a good dog, just different than I expected. I sometimes wonder if I should have waited a while longer. Good luck to you guys and be patient.

[@davidpham9364]

Agree

[@RVLifeNOW]

Good point about the puppy :)

[@ittybittykittyrescue4843]

@Dave De Castle If you go back & watch videos with her & her husband Patrick she wasn’t like this. Patrick just past away from Covid. She was thrusted into a new life with not a lot of clue where to pick up. She wasn’t even able to properly grieve as she was all alone & had to hurry & get boat ready. Give her a chance.

[@svbluehighway]

You’re still healing from a major loss. What a fascinating and brutally honest description of how you are processing three huge events. (Patrick’s passing, full Atlantic crossing, and of course, life in the Covid years) Thanks for sharing so many details about how tough it can be when in this situation. Hope you will find your groove again soon.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks so much, and also thanks for realizing it just one challenge but 3. It’s been a rough year..taking it easier for the rest of the year :)

[@augustusfleming3001]

This channel has taught my wife and I so much. We were sorry to hear about Patrick all those months ago. This video really speaks to your soul. I can not imagine how hard it must be for you moving on without him. The fact that you can see your actions and know you are upset shows that you will be able to ride through this stressful emotional time. It can only get easier with Michael and if he is willing to stay he already knows why you are having the issues you are. Stay strong it will get easier for you to adjust.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks..getting easier with time… I hope Michael can hang in there, because I do realize what a gem of a guy I have in him!!!

[@fairwayray]

Kudos to Michael for putting up with your moods.

[@RVLifeNOW]

I know right? He’s a hell of a guy to go through all of this…

[@danielkeirsteadsr6939]

When times get stressful between you two a jug of rum and a lively song melts away any tensions you might have. May joy and good fortune follow the both of you.

[@michynature]

@Dave De Castle please delete your way too many comments bullying this widow.

[@michynature]

@Dave De Castle you get a grip

[@nonyayet1379]

knowing what i know. there is nothing you could say or do, within your capabilities that me, or most any of us would get tired of. unlike so many sailing channels, everything you do (on or off film) comes from your heart and soul. i particularly appreciated this video. I am sorry that your crossing isn't what you had hoped for. I am happy to see you used it as an education. I am also happy to know Michael is a good man, and did not bail out on you during your struggles. Patrick asked you what you knew, told you what he knew and what he was going to do. as you did him. both of you strived for perfection, in everything. it will not be easy to duplicate such a perfect harmony coupled with the natural urge for perfection that ya'll had and you still have. Patience is a virtue. In time you'll again have that perfect (for you) harmony in life. Rome wasn't built in a day (or a year...)

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks for your very kind comment. Thanks for watching, and appreciating the video!

[@61spindrift]

To be honest I am not a subscriber and have only watched a handful of your videos, most of them because of and with Patrick in them. Years ago I was a full time sailor and would watch to learn from Patrick. When I heard of his passing I watched the last episode and wanted to see how you were ok and how you were going to continue. I was sad for you but, when, on that episode, you met Michael I was happy for you and I saw it in your face. After not watching another episode until this one, I said to myself "why does she look so angry?" and "why is she so bitchy?". Then when I really concentrated and listened to you, you were admitting to it. Admitting that you were not nice and finding fault in everything Michael did. I said to myself "I get it, she is knowingly doing this and realizing how she is causing problems with this new relationship. Because to be honest, I thought Michael was an absolute saint in the beginning, from what little I saw in that first episode when he met you. So I am only 1/2 way through this video and stopped so I could write this comment while fresh in my mind of how angry you looked and how nasty all your comments were to Michael. Honestly, I would have bailed on you had you done this to me. I am now going to view the rest of the video knowing I can not delete what I have written here. What I have just written is what I feel at the moment. Maybe it will change by the end of the video. But for now I hope Michael jumps ship and continues his journey with someone that respects him for who he is and not who he is not.

[@pauljohnston9446]

I think she's mad that Michael isn't Patrick... he's never going to be Patrick and she tried too much too soon after Patrick's passing ... One thing about life is that it's going to change and we are not always going to like those changes ... you have to add a third condition to death & taxes ... change ... and it's just as inevitable as the other two ...

[@61spindrift]

@@pauljohnston9446 Well your right Paul in everything you said. My comments were made because of my anger for how she treated Michael. Also made for the sadness I feel for Michael that he gave up so much to try to appease her. And to be honest, I am not proud of what I wrote about Rebecca but, it is how I feel. I can not say I would have acted any different, maybe even worse if I had lost my love of my life. If I had to dig deep into my feelings I guess I just feel sad for Rebecca. I knew Patrick from a distance as I was an offshore sailor at the same time Patrick was alive. Read many of his articles and learned a great deal from them. RIP Patrick and I pray Rebecca survives this loss. Thanks for your comment.

[@UUBrahman]

Why do you assume you cannot delete this comment? See those three little dots in the upper right corner? There you go, then delete as you please.

[@61spindrift]

@@UUBrahman Ya...a computer genius I am not. The 3 little dots? Not a clue.

[@UUBrahman]

@@61spindrift waive your cursor over your own comment and three little dots appear.

[@johnhaywood6358]

“No subject is terrible if the story is true, if the prose is clean and honest, and if it affirms courage and grace under pressure.” Ernest Hemingway

[@donnamass9576]

Perfect, John.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks John…hopefully all of the above…

[@mcii8495]

You probably don't remember me amongst the hundreds you hear from, but I first tuned in when you had just met Michael. Sorry to hear things aren't going well. You've got the right attitude about it though and that makes all the difference. Stay focused, good things are coming your way. I wish I could have thrown my hat in the ring back then. I've been single for 21 years and I fear it might be the same struggle for me trying to find someone to share a boat with. I've read some of the comments and I'm not going to take sides in a conflict I know nothing about. My position is to wish the best outcome for both of you and to offer my blessing for the safety of Brick House and her present crew.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Such a nice comment. You are right…so much you can’t see here on a video about a relationship…things are getting better..there is hope..l

[@stevecox9714]

Your courage is inspiring. Taking responsibility can be painful and liberating. Modeling this to the world is what is needed at this time. Don’t underestimate the good you’re doing for the planet. You’re doing great.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Steve..such a nice compliment..thank you…

[@patrikhafstrom8954]

Hi Rebecca! I’m glad that you are back. From what I hear i belive with personal experience that you didn’t give yourself enough time not only for grieving but also personal time. Everything went so fast. I remembering writing with you about you saying a new captain had embarked the boat and I remarked to that fact that then Patric passed away you and only you was the new captain. I’m so impressed of what you have gone through and is still going. I have been working in the Swedish navy for many years. Then there is always new missions and new coworkers/staff/roommates to not only start living with but also work with. It’s working in the most scenarios. But the BIG BUT it’s for a while often just a short while. Longtime relation like yours with Patric will need time to come over and maybe you weren’t ready for a new relationship. That said isn’t the same that you should sail alone. Instead should you sail with what you consider friends and maybe a relationship will grow from that. Anyway, I wish you captain Rebecca all the best! Patrik 🇸🇪

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Patrik. You were probably right all alone. But I know myself…I move quickly. Probably too quickly sometimes… And this was the result this time. But it’s not over…

[@patrikhafstrom8954]

@@RVLifeNOW As you say we all have to do things our own way to make a life. No pain no gain 🤕I keep my thumbs and fingers crossed, just wishing you all the best. ❤️🇸🇪

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks…no pain, no gain…so pertinent….

[@MsScuppers]

I am always amazed at how honest you are, Rebecca. I appreciate that so much. I do think that if you had met Michael after having a longer time to heal then it may have been different. Who knows what your future will hold? You and Michael may well find your way back.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Yes,mi think we will too. He is such a patient loving guy…

[@oleran4569]

Oh my! Your situation is so very complex. Your old "life" was taken away by a viral agent. You can't help but mourn the loss of Patrick as a repository of sooooo much! His physical presence is one aspect. His combination of drive, skill and discipline another. Your countless little habits in close quarters another. The hundreds of safe assumptions made every day that reinforced trust and comfort are now invalid. While you certainly willingly and convincingly invited him to do so, Mike is, in some sense, intruding on the life and song of your very core. Its likely that some part of you is furious at that...even though it seems a good decision on your part. You may have trouble giving Mike a chance....right now, you may have very little to give. You need "home" for a while and the safety of some routine/situation that is yours alone to "reset" your core to accept the progress of time. Of course, all that can happen concurrently with your sailing, since that is, in many ways, "home". Your long term involvement with Patrick was a wonderful gift to you from the universe, and Mike's availability seems to be of similar nature. Consider being a channel for whatever energy has given those gifts. Take a moment, at regular intervals to calm your mind and take a real look at Mike...ask yourself what you really feel, fear, expect and want. Do this repeatedly until the answers don't change. Whatever happens, you are, by many measures, one of the most fortunate of humans. Patrick, even in his beloved status, was but one of your teachers. You now have the skill, discipline and resources for a difficult passage.....over water, or over loss. PS to Mike: Mike, Good Sir!, You, in this video, its commentary and comments, have shown yourself to be a man of True Honor, stoic and measured action. Presenting patience and gentile affection in the midst of consistent ire. These traits are expected of gentlemen, but, when demonstrated, rarely celebrated. While you are certainly multifaceted and likely "to blame" for .....something, I, for one Salute you! Fair winds to you both.

[@cindywestern2593]

Rebecca, thank you for the video. I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. Please be patient and kind with yourself. Overcoming and healing from a loss is hard and takes time. I admire your strength! You will heal. In the meantime, just like sailing, try to enjoy the journey of life, with all the highs and lows, and the sweet people you meet along the way. I am a fan and rooting for you!

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks for your gentle comment Cindy. Even when I spend so much time trying to understand the grieving process,mi still come up short on how I am with Michael. It’s so not what I want to do.

[@mrm4400]

SO glad you're safe. Was getting very worried about the two of you. Great video......about the highs and the lows. Truly hope the two of you can find a way to enjoy the rest of the passage with less stress. You both seem to be such nice people. All the best to you both.💝

[@beverleypettit3577]

@Dave De Castle I suspect @Dave De Castle, that you probably have no inkling of what Rebecca has been through since early-ish 2020. At least she was honest and open about her moods and bad temper on this latest trip... How many of us can claim that ? Cut her some slack please, like her sailing partner is doing... She'll get there ....but it will take time. This latest journey she's on was never going to be plain sailing. She is dealing with unresolved grief after losing a loved one.

[@RVLifeNOW]

MRM..sorry…didn’t see your comment til now…Thank you..it’s getting better all the time…

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Beverley… all very true. If nothing else I’ve tried to keep it real. It’s all I’ve got. Things are getting better now..hope you have seen the latest videos…it’s about to get much happier.mi finally have figured out just how much Michael loves me. I’m in very good hands.

[@mitchellstadnik752]

It's good to see you,I am not a therapist however, your selfish reflections is a good start to understanding what is amiss

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks..l hopefully a new beginning…

[@1kfarrel]

Rebecca, love the videos and the total honesty you have about your emotions. Now, I know it's none of my business, but I have to ask, why would you search for a captain? It's your ship, your desire, your adventure. You're in control. You have the years of wisdom and your good sailing skills are as clear and evident as the care you provide for your ship. Looking for a captain? Look within, it's you!

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Kevin. What a great compliment. If I lose Michael….I won’t look for another captain. You are right…I will be the captain. But although I know the systems and what needs to be done….I’m not the sailing sailor you may think. Yea…absolutely I know what needs to be done while sailing…but I haven’t the strength or courage to do the actual sail changes and stuff on deck. And I want to be full time forever with a captain.or a first mate, or crew. I don’t want to be then left when I get to an anchorage. I want to cruise with someone I love. Maybe that will be Michael.

[@taterhater7419]

i was having a hard time getting myself to watch these videos after patrick died. i am glad I've started watching again. you are a strong woman and i look foreward to see what you do next. also love the insights on the relationship.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Tater…Thanks for watching my sailing / relationship /soap opera videos :) It’s been a real struggle after PATRICKs passing, but I was lucky to find a trustworthy, compassionate guy to take the challenge of ME on…and actually end up being such a great person in my life. Feeling very very fortunate.

[@tvonzweck]

Congratulations to both of you on your success in reaching Santa Helena and beyond. Being fairly fresh out of a 35 year relationship I could relate to the relationship problems, even though our situations were so different. My heart goes out to you and Michael. He appeared perfectly in your life when you needed him. His was a tall order to fullfil from the beginning. My friend says something to the effect of "we are all loving souls, with boogie on top". Getting through that "boogie" is way tougher than crossing any ocean. Now be easy on yourself, that will help to be easier on others. Trimming sails and fixing fridges is kindergarten compared to navigating relationships in extremely stressful periods of life. You did your best.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thank you for understanding. Exactly.

[@beverleypettit3577]

Love your comment tvonzweck 👌🏽

[@peterbryan3295]

It's been 5 year's now since I lost my love and I've tried to love again but Its just so hard..I'm not afraid of new love I'm afraid of old loss..but life does go on and it's a waste of a life not to be happy again..it will take time and remember it's ok for you to be happy again..stay strong and try to live in the moment..😊🤗💚⚓⛵

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Peter

[@estherzimmermann1872]

Thanks for your honest video. Yes, sometimes even the most beautiful places do not make you happy, when you feel sad or angry… Maybe try to start something new with Michael, something that you have never done with Patrick. So that there can be an unique story with him and not a copy-feeling, that feels wrong or not as good. Play a new game, Listen to an audiobook together, start a cooking-surprise-challenge, invent a story, learn something new together….

[@RVLifeNOW]

That’s a VERY good idea! Spectacular idea!

[@michynature]

@Dave De Castle no need to troll every comment 🙄

[@keithfrench5626]

I love the honest, frank discussion about life and the meaning of love and friendship. I will follow you.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Ah thanks Keith…

[@Kathleensailorgirl]

Wow such a blessing to finally have an update. Thanks for your honesty I went through a similar experience after my husband died and after several years I actually traveled across country and many days I was checking airlines to get me home. It’s very difficult to adjust to a new life. Thanks for sharing your amazing journey. Prayers for both of you , be at peace. 🙏🙏☮️⛵️⛵️⛵️😘

[@RVLifeNOW]

Sorry I missed your comment. Thank you for caring…

[@scottgilbert786]

Thanks for being so honest. I hope you can both be good friends and maybe at least work that part of it. Michael seems like a real mensch and very knowledgeable on sailing. He seems like a great friend/partner. Best Wishes to you both!!

[@RVLifeNOW]

He’s definitely a great sailor and a great friend who I hope to have for a long time…

[@krumple8560]

Great to see you two again. Sorry to hear about the drama but not surprised. Stay the course and see what happens. I find that sometimes our expectations need to be readjusted to accommodate reality. Reality seldom if ever readjusts itself to accommodate our expectations.

[@omarkn4371]

”Reality seldom if ever readjusts itself to accommodate our expectations.” Let me please rephrase this: → Reality never readjusts itself to accommodate our expectations.

[@RVLifeNOW]

That’s so true..thanks!

[@RVLifeNOW]

Yes exactly…

[@jerylabrams8408]

Hi, I am new to your Brick House, your very refreshing on your personal journey as well as sailing on your boat. Your loss left you fragile, and that’s ok! He takes time to heal. If you feel this is still a passion so be it. Being hard on somebody is never good. It takes understanding, from both of you. Embrace your new adventure. If you need to vent, do it. But prepared! Apologies always seem to work. Be safe💕🙏🏻

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks for the good advice. And for watching…

[@mikelewis7003]

Nice to see you both. Surprised at the number of yachts in St. Helena! Tough yards on the relationship side of things, but good on you both for toughing it out regardless. It was never going to be easy. Ahhh that lovely Atlantic blue ocean too, very nice. Looking forward to upcoming vids. Sending love. Xxx

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Mike! Yes..we got lucky…St Helena opened as many of us were approaching..it was so awesome! relationship is healing..lots of damage done that is hopefully repairable.

[@lodragan]

The only constant in life is change. That not only goes for boat maintenance, but relationships too. Good luck, and fair weather!

[@RVLifeNOW]

So true..that’s one of my favorite sayings, and in sailing and in life..that’s so true!

[@patrikhafstrom8954]

A new comment: you have to let Patric go. You are for normal reasons comparing Matt with Patric that he also for normal reasons can’t be. That’s not fair to him. You also speak about YOUR boat, that is a statement that you won’t let another person in to your sailing life yet. (You can of course still own the boat) but generally one speak of our boat as a saling team. You should also change the name of the channel as a part of you going on to new horizons. Patric will be in our minds any way. And please don’t take the old content away. Letting someone go isn’t the same thing as forgetting, he is still in our memory as a good sailor and a fantastic source of excellent information. Patrik 🇸🇪

[@timm6112]

Yes, let Matt be the man he is, can be, and wants to be. Get quiet. Observe. Less talk, comments, and more quietness, gentleness, and watch change happen.

[@Hukubob]

I’m sorry you lost Patric. A wonderful man able to to bring out the best in you. I’m sure he wouldn’t be proud of your present state of mind.

[@RVLifeNOW]

No he wouldn’t be.

[@mjlw200]

You are still hurting from loss, no matter how wonderful Michael is, the timing is just off. In time who knows where it will end up. Your raw honesty is rare, i wish you all the best.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks…

[@svwanderlust9697]

Hang in there, I always looked forward to Patrick’s videos, he is no longer with you in person but in spirt. I give you so much credit for continuing on voyaging. You already possess all the skills and knowledge needed.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks so much William.

[@61sunset]

Hi, so glad to see you both again!! I am so sorry to hear that you are so sad and angry Rebecca. Anger is a secondary emotion to hurt, frustration etc. It seems that you may be blaming Michael subconsciously and so your anger is directed at him ..your finding fault etc. You still have so much pain and are acting out in that way as you don't know how to handle your conflicting emotions. Allow yourself to grieve, you maybe trying to suppress it, and feeling guilty at the same time that you have moved on with Michael . All those emotions are making you miserable. Allow yourself to grieve,let Michael in and talk to him about how you are feeling, don't shut him out as that is making you feel worse, and hurting him. You both can overcome this if you pull together and not apart. Have your alone time to sort through your feelings and emotions, then come together and share with each too. Slowly but surely you will become stronger together. I wish you both all the very best and pray for your healing . Thank you so much for your honesty, and taking ownership for your wrongs, that isn't easy. It takes strength Rebecca. Thanks too to Michael for being so patient and pushing through his hurt, to stay with you. You both seem lovely. Wonderful video too : )

[@stopthephilosophicalzombie9017]

Wise words, but Rebecca needs to try harder. She seems to be acting very childishly.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Hey…sorry I missed your comment from before..this other persons response made the comment replied to, but it’s back up in my screen now…sorry for that. Yes you are right…a lot has happened in the last 3 months. It’s been a rollercoaster ride since arriving but things may be coming together now.Hope you have seen the recent videos..they gonna get happier now :)

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks for your comment Zombie… I’ve always done my best..my best hasn’t been great I admit. I’ve learned a lot in the few months.. Come to realize so much. It was harder than you can imagine looking at 20 minute long videos, to lose my husband last year. And it has been very scary since then trying to get my boat safely across an ocean with a new captain. I’m coming around…please have patience. Trying mush harder now…

[@davidblaymires7805]

Dear Rebecca, grief is like climbing a mountain in a storm, you will be lashed by the wind and rain, you won’t be able to see where you’re going except for brief periods before the storms loses in again, yet climb you must because it’s the only way to get out of the storm. Be gentle with yourself and with Michael, you’re combining huge grief with the stress of a new relationship. What could possibly go wrong…? 😱😉 You’re growing Rebecca, every day and you’re on this journey for a reason. Same with you Michael, life and relationships test you to see if your worthy of the great gift of love that comes from getting through the struggle together. You’re both wiser than you know. Carry on, Patrick would be very proud of you Rebecca, and grateful to you Michael. Love and hugs, David

[@RVLifeNOW]

Somehow missed this comment last month…sorry about that. What kind and wise words…thank you. I’m sure you have seen the latest video…but yes…still we are trying to weather the storm…

[@bluedogozwoofer6737]

thank you , good to see you both still sailing

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks so much..yes we are still sailing.

[@vivianbond7449]

We got Jacobs ladder in Cheddar in England too

[@RVLifeNOW]

Cool..is it the same concept as in st Helena?

[@micheletetley6142]

I like that you share your relationship status. It's real! As you know every door that closes a new one will open. I know happiness will find you. The trick is not looking for it! I say this with already seeing your Oct 12th video. You got this!

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Michele…I hope so. Feeling like I may not have this at all…

[@daveh5625]

Thanks mike for being a solid guy... Dave, Arizona

[@RVLifeNOW]

Yes…thanks Mike.

[@raybedell883]

So Sad to Hear things Went South So Quickly Rebecca. Michael is A Good Man. He's Keeping His Word and Getting You Across. My Prayers go out for Both of You. You weren't Ready yet for the relationship. Too soon. Seems like everybody's Hurting on board. See the task thru safely and let the Dust settle in Grenada. I'm planning on Florida this winter...I CAN ALMOST SEE Brick House's MAST! from there. I "WAS" worried...but this Video showed exactly what I expected Sadly. He's STILL a GOOD MAN!... Thanks Mike for Keeping HER SAFE...even when you'd Rather "take HER SHARK FISHING! " ( It's A Long Island THING!) Lol...Be in touch.. Captn Ray.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Making me laugh..you are so spot on Ray! How is your granddaughter :) ?

[@vivviedarling9336]

There is no ducking the journey you are on. But there are fellow travellers, every person who has loved and lost has had to make that passage. Don't be hard on yourself for being hard on the world around you. You're giving back a little of what you've been given. You will make it through. You will be changed but you WILL be whole. I promise. It's hard work but what isn't in this life? Best wishes.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanls so much Makes me feel slightly better.

[@flasher702]

If you use two prussicks you can climb the the mast without any help. Attach the top one to your harness and use the bottom one as a foot loop. 1. Stand up on bottom prussick 2. raise the top prussick 3. sit down 4. raise bottom prussick repeat Bonus: you can stand instead of sit while working if you want. I alternate since both are painful after awhile. Best practice is to prussick up a line that someone else could lower later. This is in case you get injured up there and can't climb down on your own. Our Auquamarine 3color plus Anchor light at the top of the mast doesn't work. I've tried to fix it several times without luck. Wind instrument also didn't work. VHF Antenna was also broken. And I put up a radar reflector. I used the prussicks to get up there about a dozen times this year.

[@flasher702]

carina says "too much relationship stuff". I don't really have much of an opinion myself and encourage you to do whatever you want, but two observations: 1. I think maybe some of the previous episodes didn't have nearly enough relationship stuff in them, which may have contributed to this one having so much. 2. It was a bit repetitive with a lackluster, no-resolution ending, from a story telling perspective. You don't HAVE to resolve "we are driving each other crazy" within a single episode just to make us feel good. It's your life, your story. You are living the "what will happen next?" cliff hanger on the daily, we can survive a few cliffhangers too ;) Have fun Rebecca. Even after you get vaccinated keep wearing your mask and social distancing! It should be easy with such a nice boat as Brick House. ...did I mention that our alternator belt snapped while we were motoring through tidal flats on a tight schedule in 24knots of wind? I heard it disintigrating (didn't know what it was) and lowered engine RPMs and ummediatly lost control of the boat so raised engine RPMs and the sound went away, continued for 4 more hours. Nothing on this boat works right LOL. I'll trade you, then you won't have to worry about scratches ever again! :)

[@RVLifeNOW]

that is really interesting. we have a top climber…by ATN…must be similar concept. really interesting to think about this!

[@bradbailey3235]

I hope you all are in a better place now. It sounds like you are at a point of appreciating Michael's contributions. Fair winds.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Brad..the rollercoaster ride continues…

[@allornothing7957]

Just take it day by day, your smile is beautiful and it was lovely to see it, Patrick would want you to move on and be happy and too use the boat not enshrine it with bubble wrap 😊 Mike is a solid guy it seems, and looks like he can take your mood swings in his stride, seize the day, start some new hobbies together, cook foods you haven't had before together, read a book a page at a time too each other, play card games! You need to make new things to bond over. It will never be the same as Patrick ever he was a huge part of your life and brick house. But persevere and keep trying new stuff and slowly it will get easier!

[@RVLifeNOW]

That’s really good advice on how to build our sailing life together in to something great. Appreciate the advice!

[@vanexploradora]

Never give up ! , Missing Mr. Patrick what a great Man .

[@RVLifeNOW]

He was definitely a great man..thanks for watching…sailing is good for me.

[@gumby2241]

I don't know if Patrick was a great man, but he was a great entertainer and educator. This is your channel now, entertain us!

[@cowsjohnson2306]

It was and is a pleasure to be able to catch up with what your doing. I always look forward to see and hear what's going on . So your from Mass I had to chuckle I'm a northshore boy and If by the time you get up this my refit should be done your more than welcome for a sail out of Newburyport and up the coast if I'm not up in the north Atlantic. You be well and safe passage. Thank you for all you share with the world. Angus

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Angus! Appreciate you watching my sail across the Atlantic!

[@brentburlock1747]

The honesty is touching. Just like your whole story so far..........need more of that in my world. Thank you and safe journeys.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks for the nice compliment. Wish I could just get on with it and be normal again, but is what it is.

[@erich9244]

Rebecca I liked the video and appreciate the honesty. I wonder if you are as open and honest with Michael as you are with us? Sharing your burdens eases the weight you have to carry alone. I get that you wanted something else but dang it your alive, are on your way back to your homeland, and you have a really kind decent man who s doing his best to help you get there. Give yourself a break on the guilt, mike isn't to blame he is just trying to help. Confide in him ( if you can) and start again. YOU CAN DO IT! Keep on keeping on!

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Eric. Yes…Michael and ai have great communication…believe me he know way more than my community does, as it should be. He’s a great listener, and a great friend. I couldn’t ask for a more understanding person…

[@erich9244]

@@RVLifeNOW God Bless and keep you then :) Hang in there and safe travels!

[@tomm9850]

The first step in solving a problem is to recognize the problem. You are well past the first step. The second step can take a lot time and effort, but you will get there. Be safe and always remember that kindness and forgiveness is what we all need more than anything else.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Tim..good advice.

[@salgiron]

First time I have seen this channel... It depressed the hell out of me. Poor Michael, he's a saint.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks for watching Sal. This episode depressed the hell out of me too..probably why it took me so long to make it. The next one will likely be a bit depressing too. But life has gotten better in the present day, so they will be happy again. Hope you will subscribe and be patient with me.

[@fredflintstone8048]

I saw this coming. It's going to be the same with any man that you try to replace Patrick with. You are going to be constantly comparing the new man with Patrick, who now being dead is the perfect man in your mind that can do no wrong (it's human nature to remember the deceased as being more perfect than they were), and you have this emotional connection to Patrick's memory that you cannot disconnect from. I would have warned Michael not to get involved, but people run their own lives. If he didn't know what he was getting into, he does now. Another problem is that it's 'your boat', so any man is going to be the equivalent to some hired crew working for you. The boat would need to belong to both of you or neither of you. Don't take this the wrong way, but for some reason you think you're a princess and that everything is about you. Until you can break from that, if you can at all, it's not going to be fun for the other person, and it's not going to be fun for you either. It could also be fueled by hormones, you're that age where you may be going through 'the change'. I don't envy you with all the baggage you carry, or anyone who comes along to share it with you. Anyway, best of luck and safe journey.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks for your honesty….all true. All things I have thought so much about. What’s the solution?

[@fredflintstone8048]

@@RVLifeNOW I apologize for being better at spotting problems than providing solutions. The human is fraught with issues. I think you've taken the first step by recognizing them. Time heals all wounds, so that's going to be part of the solution.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Fred. yes…time is definitely making things better..but sometimes it seems like not fast or better enough!!!

[@jimfreestone3119]

There are mental health counselling sessions on line. I know a good psychologist from Poland, English speaking and about 40 GBP per hour session.

[@jacksmith8002]

@@RVLifeNOW I think Michael has the answers if you listen closely. You can see it in him through the videos....Live, love, laugh and smell the flowers along the way as tomorrow is never guaranteed. I'm pulling for you two ❤

[@bradsquirrel7923]

It sounds like Michael understands you are still grieving and in shock. It is okay. Try to be positive as much as you can. I am sure that is what Patrick would want, move on and enjoy life. It is a precious gift. I hope to see more of the videos Michael shot. Have fun out there.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Brad.

[@graeme-sailingskeptic]

Rebecca thanks for being so brutally honest

[@RVLifeNOW]

Or just brutal :)

[@graeme-sailingskeptic]

@@RVLifeNOW No ~ you are still grieving give yourself some space to heal... be gentle to yourself.

[@CheersWarren]

Thanks for the update, I've been kind of dreading what I might find . You had some great sailing and brickhouse was apparently working well. Relationships are hard and 2 captains/owner ? Tricky. Best of luck to you both in your separate futures. You are both good people and it will be good again. All the best Warren

[@beverleypettit3577]

@Dave De Castle What insecurity drives your need to repeat yourself over and over and over again Dave De Castle ?

[@RVLifeNOW]

Warp21…yes Brick Hose performed well…and we had great sailing for sure. The relationship very tricky, but it’s improving.

[@BRANDINGIRON13]

I have been waiting for your update for so long and I’m glad I finally got it! You know your own situation better than anybody. Michael is not Patrick and I know you know that too. That being said, Michael stepped into a big pair of shoes and he seems like such a good man. What you are going through cannot be easy, and it is a virtue that Michael is a patient man. At first I couldn’t help but compare him to Patrick, but who out there could ever be compared to the 1 and only Patrick Childress. I only wish the best for the both of you and I’m glad that you are sailing on! Will be looking forward to your next update. Thank you for the video!

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks…I’m glad to be sailing on too. I’m getting better with not comparing the great Patrick Childress, with the wonderful Michael Hayward..though sometimes I stumble…

[@nightengale7163]

So appreciate knowing you are safe. I have so many thoughts on your current state of affairs. First, it's ok, not to be ok. You've had a tremendous loss. It will take time to work through that. You might not be able to rush through the process even though you are impatient. That being said. God gave you an angel. Michael may or may not be be in your future ...but he is compassionate and loyal. Always reward his effort with the Golden Rule. Treat him as you would want to be treated. That would be expected in a platonic relationship.... even more so in something more serious. Find at least one genuine item to be thankful for in each other every day. Share that. Life isn't always what we expect. Enjoy what you can in each other. Nothing is perfect ...and that's ok. Saying a prayer ....and sending positive energy to Brick House. Love, Christine 🌹

[@RVLifeNOW]

Christine..thanks for that reminder…

[@edwardfinn4141]

Rebecca and Michael. Great crossing, good on ya!

[@RVLifeNOW]

Yea major accomplishment. Thanks!

[@abatesnz]

I will be sailing home from Sydney to NZ I October. You have to find a way to make an 1160 NM 8 day passage to Opua last 12 days (288 hours), & aren't allowed to stop at anchor along the way. So I will fight every fibre of my racer being and go slow (like 4 to 5 knots). Might even go round - but not stop at - Lord Howe and Norfolk Islands, to make in 1425 NM. Still less than 5 knots average.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Fair winds! Covid sailing is not as fun a the old days of sailing away!!!

[@saylaveenadmearedead]

I really liked you going up the mast and how capable you are.... which I think Michael knows and won't let you bug out of really sailing your own boat!!! Patrick did you a great disservice by coddling you and being the man, man... as much as I respect him, I had issues with some of his practices that Patrick showed on his videos.... I would hope that your new life is centered on you always caring for your boat, as it should be!!!

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thank you very much. Yes…Mike really gets that and give me so much confidence in my abilities by letting me be me. That’s for sure. Thanks for seeing through the smoke..

[@walterwinn2842]

Lady, your relationship problems are your own fault. You jumped from the frying pan into the fire 🔥.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Literally! Yes you are right..it was my fault for sure! I had my reasons or excuses, but I wasn’t very nice to him during this crossing…

[@beverleypettit3577]

@@RVLifeNOW Rebecca, it happened. You were honest about it ....you sure didn't have to confess/reveal your behavior to all of us ....but you chose to. That was brave of you and I suspect it might have been driven by feeling of guilt. You are struggling with very deep grief. This crossing was never going to be easy for either of you. Don't beat yourself up. Sure, it's tough on Michael... But he showed what sort of man he is when, in the very beginning when his friends suggested he introduce himself to you, he chose to not intrude because of his sensitivity for where you were at. This speaks volumes for him. The situation here is fraught with complexity because of your loss. I realize you had no option but to set sail as quickly as possible. Personally, I think it is very likely impossible for you to attempt another relationship at this point. You're going to need at least a couple of years to pick yourself up from the pain of loss. I reckon if both you and Michael can face the truth of this reality, things will kinda smooth out (....and become less testing for both of you). I think neither of you should expect too much of the other right now. The situation is just too loaded... Strength to you both. Bev 🇿🇦 Don't allow ignorant people to bring you down. You're trying to survive right now. Just turf overboard the hurtful comments of ignorant people.

[@michynature]

@@beverleypettit3577 well said Bev. And wise.

[@impossible1]

I thought the "relationship stuff" came off as genuine and honest. I enjoyed it. You had just lost your husband and now you were responsible for this boat. You were understandably stressed out. Gotta give it to Michael for sticking it out though.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Yes..definitely have to hand it to Michael. He is a super good guy!!!

[@Shroedinger73]

Thanks for the update 🙏🏻😇🙏🏻

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks for watching. Glad to be sailing.

[@martinnugent4105]

Thanks for the video and comments on your relationship issues . Life is hard sometimes but I'm sure your personalities that seem to clash will persevere and only become stronger with time as you adjust to life without Patrick and your new situation . Best of luck and sail on !!!

[@davidboatman2531]

Thank you for returning to us with another good and honest video. I missed you. Looking forward to the next chapter.

[@davidboatman2531]

...I would also add, don’t get so hung up on banging or dinging your gift that Patrick left for you. Rather recognize that you are using his gift and not letting it fall into disrepair because of non-use. In either scenario Brick Hose will wear ... you are demonstrating to us and Patrick of your overall love of the life you shared by continuing to do so going forward. Peace!

[@RVLifeNOW]

Hi David..just saw this now…so many missed comments…Thanks for this comment…very good point…Use it or lose it…

[@robertorzech8922]

Glad you's are toughing it out and fulfilling your commitments . What doesn't kill you ,makes you stronger ! Cheers !

[@RVLifeNOW]

My favorite saying...and it so applies to sailung...ecspecially sailing across an ocean!

[@nmsspacedude9799]

Well, a very . . . special video. A privilege to watch. Genuinely. Took me a while to know how to describe it. Please just continue to share your heart on here as much as you need to. Rebecca. You have 570+ commenters here who're just willing to take you (both) just as you are, and love you for being you, anyway. Que sera, sera.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks so much. Yeah a bit personal. The blog is gonna have an update soon.

[@danielcallinan5629]

You both deserve a lot of credit... For achieving those passages, despite the stresses you were both under, despite the difficulties of covid, and for putting it all out there for all to see and critique. Relationships need as much maintenance and care as a Boat does, and I know how hard it can be on a boat when they are not in a good place. Thanks for your honesty. Still rooting for the fairy tale ending with Michael.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Daniel. I, rotting for that too.

[@sandrajohnnewmanwarnock2232]

Glad to see you are back Rebecca. I didn’t start to follow you until Patrick had already died but I feel a strong connection to you - Sandra and I were stuck in Cape Town for most of last year after the borders closed. Sandra’s mother caught Covid and was in Groote Schuur hospital for the whole of June 2020. She was 93 at the time and recovered! How the cards are dealt. I feel a sense of hope in your comments about your relationship with Michael. I hope I’m right. We will shortly be setting sail in our catamaran, Knot So Bad, from Phuket to follow in your footsteps. I hope we fare better when we get to South Africa. Best wishes, John and Sandra.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Wow…yeah that’s quite the connection…Patrick died in Groote Schuur also June last year (passed June 8). If she was on a ventilator there is a good chance they were in the same room! Good luck from Phuket..Indian Ocean is tough but oh so rewarding…Enjoy your sail!

[@sandrajohnnewmanwarnock2232]

@@RVLifeNOW I knew he had died in June in Groote Schuur from your very touching and emotional video. Yes the Indian Ocean is going to be tough as it’s our first long distance sail and it’ll still be the south westerly monsoon so I hope BIOT let us into Chagos for a rest! Keep the videos coming - our first went live last Friday and we’re working on episode 2 - S/V Knot So Bad. Best wishes, John and Sandra.

[@RVLifeNOW]

John and Sandra…i checked it out. Would love to relive the Indian with you. What an ocean it is to sail across! Turn on your comments if you ever want to get monetized… it’s how KZbin judges if people like the video (one of the ways) … Your wife is South African…are you too? Michael is South African. What a lovely lovely bunch of people there!

[@sandrajohnnewmanwarnock2232]

@@RVLifeNOW Thanks for your kind words and advice. I believe I have turned on comments - I think they were turned off as I thought I was saying the channel would be suitable for children - we don’t plan anything offensive or unsuitable for children - without realising the consequences. Yes Sandra is South African but I’m British. Best wishes J&S

[@robertcolvin3182]

An appropriate video demonstrating that rushing into a new relationship with expectations that the new one will mirror the old one is a risky premise. I'd wait several years even if something tempting presented itself. It just brings anger with oneself for getting into such a situation.

[@liongod1000]

*_ Nail was hit on the head, Robert! _*

[@RVLifeNOW]

Hi Robert. When I met Michael on the dock and we instantly clicked…should I have told him to come back in a year or two? Better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Robert Rudolph. Not saying anyone is wrong here…but I couldn’t just send him away..

[@RVLifeNOW]

B k. Yes probably true. Michael is a huge risk taker…I probably wouldn’t have taken me up on sailing away with me. But hats off to him for doing so, and still being by my side. He now has my heart…

[@ittybittykittyrescue4843]

You’re going thru a lot of changes & grieving too. It couldn’t be easy. Self reflection does our minds & souls good. At least you’ve been able to self reflect here. You will learn from all of this & be better for it. Grief has a way of bringing out the worst in all of us sometimes. You were in a thrusted into a new life with lots of unknowns & had you not been where you were, it would’ve been different but it is what it is. I’m sure it has been very difficult & different. Just slow down. Be kind to yourself & allow yourself to go thru the grieving process in whatever way that is. Don’t beat yourself up. We all make mistakes & if you learn from them it will make you a better person as I suspect it has already. You don’t have to be in a personal relationship to find the right person to sail with. Maybe for now just be friends so you don’t have those pressures on top of everything else but also it’s important you heal.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Yes, all good advice…I wish I could just put it all behind me, and get on with life..that’s hard enough as it is….but things are easier and better now…things are looking up…

[@ittybittykittyrescue4843]

@@RVLifeNOW That is fantastic! I haven’t caught up on all of your videos to see what’s going on but I am looking forward to watching how you grow & see all the changes that have happened to make life much better for you now.

[@openureyes6305]

@@RVLifeNOW came looking for you today. Hope things are smooth sailing and your heart is being salved.....think of you often, have missed seeing your travels. Godspeed!!

[@jonspigel7172]

Jonathan Spigel V47 Tin Man So great to hear that you are both safe and still sailing. 24 years ago my wife and our 2 1/2 year old daughter spent 11 months sailing our V40 to Mexico together. We had to develop strategies and flexibility to make it all work and today are still together although not always sailing together (we meet in many ports). We saw so many couples not able to make cruising together work and were determined not to fall into that category. I really respect your candor about your situation and hope it helps others. Any kind of sailing (especially long distance sailing) creates relationship challenges. We wish you the best of luck on your life’s journey however it turns out.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks so much. Yes..not easy sailing in close quarters on long oceans. Appreciate your good wishes.

[@ToddDouglasFox]

Rebecca, I felt you coming along to do a video for us as I have felt in the past. I can feel myself being hooked up to you in the ethereal realms, making a connection in this physical world. We are all only a bit separated from one another regardless of background, views, and what our experiences and choices bring us to. Always know this, you are still connected to Patrick, to us (your youtube community) and to so many you’ve come across up to this point in your life, as well as the many you will never know in any conscious sense. But the person you are coming to know best is YOU, as we all know that person inside, good, bad, ugly, and then AWESOME. I can tell you I see past the good, bad, and ugly in you and see something spectacular. Every video I’ve seen you in I’ve seen this awesomeness and it is only growing. Take heart even if this awareness of you comes from an odd one (me), in that I may be a one off viewer who sees something about you that you don’t quite yet see. Stick to your process as you always do and I’ll see you one day super des doper agreeing with my perspective. Now off you go to that next sail to the horizon adventure. Todd

[@RVLifeNOW]

Todd,n thank you. I didn’t see some of the comments before. So I’m sorry I missed yours. It’s been a very difficult year..can barely keep up with these videos and comments. I hope you are right..that things will get better!

[@ToddDouglasFox]

@@RVLifeNOW as Captain Picard would say “make it so”.

[@robbyoliver4953]

Thanks for the video, glad to see you continuing on sailing that boat. It I think was Patrick’s desire to see you do well with it. You have the skills and knowledge to carry on with your journey after being with Patrick so many years. As for as the new relationship goes, honestly I think it was too soon. Losing your partner you loved so dear is hard and takes time to heal. I know in my situation it was best to leave the love life on ice for a few years. Moving quickly causes lots of pain, but we all want to do it. Because of the current pain. Thinking it will help. But we finally see it don’t, it just muddies the water. My only advice would be, is leave love out of your boat life. Be the boss and the captain. Make others your hired hands. Give it time on your love life. Wish you all the best.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks so much for your advice and for watching.

[@PETER-rt6zt]

First time viewer Rebecca ...I'm impressed!

[@RVLifeNOW]

Oh Peter..thanks..you picked a depressing first one… hopefully it gets happier soon. The next one may be a bit sad too. But current real-time…I’m happy…

[@vivianbond7449]

I bet the sunset is lovely too

[@RVLifeNOW]

Always…

[@jadejohns3107]

Love how real you are. Anything you upload is so relatable even if you’re out at sea metaphorically and actually. Some of us are intrepid adventurer’s too.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Jade.

[@chrissimpkins4144]

You look sad. Grief is so hard. I hope you and Michael can make space for your huge grief, and see how it goes. Bless you for moving forward so courageously.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Chris. Mike is a very patient and good guy. Not sure how he got through this.

[@Cptnbond]

Love the honest view of the passage. The background music was a bit on the loud side, such it was difficult to hear your voice, but I'm sure you will correct that in the next episode. Looking forward to the ascension islands episode. Cheers.

[@delukxy]

Agree at the audio levels. Music is for the back ground and should be used sparingly. Match it to the mood as far as possible but Your mood isn't easy to match music to. When in doubt, leave it out. Wind and waves are the best sounds.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks, hopefully I’ve finally got that right, as well as the relationship stuff…think I’ve finally figured out a lot..

[@ruaraidhmcdonald-walker9524]

Wahey! Great to see you back Rebecca!

[@RVLifeNOW]

Sorry it took so long. Been busy sailing :)

[@ruaraidhmcdonald-walker9524]

@@RVLifeNOW Well absolutely!! No need to apologise!! Really glad that you’re happy sailing and still sharing it with us all! Great to see you!

[@mauricelarocque7232]

about a year ago , I told you to keep your dream alive , and to keep on sailing, Life must go on... don't you think you should concentrate your energies on moving on , after all its not Michael's fault... I think altought its not my business, that Michael is a very patient an loving man, think about it, really... Both of you deserve a better outcome ... with respect and Love...

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Maurice. Yes…Michael is awesome…

[@mauricelarocque7232]

@@RVLifeNOW My heart goes out To you guys life is so precious , live in peace and Harmony, Love...

[@dennisfromoz6436]

Love is like beauty...in the eye of the beholder. Like me, do love the sailing, the scenery, that rainbow, the huff'n puff up Jacob's etc etc...yummy meal and keep on getting on with life and living,.

[@RVLifeNOW]

I like that ;)

[@svbarryduckworth628]

Thank you both for sharing. R Relationships and boats...If you are not fixing at least one thing a day it won't be long before either begins falling apart. Be kinder than necessary to yourself, to your partner and crew, and always be kind to your vessel. The first one is the hardest, and the second is no picnic either even in the best of times. It is almost impossible when you are not first kind to yourself. My heart goes out to you all on Brick House. I hope things are better in Grenada. Fair Winds.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks so much. We spent much time trying in Grenada. But alas. It’s not meant to be. We are just way way way too different.

[@svbarryduckworth628]

All the best to you both. I hope someday to meet you and Brick House in an anchorage someday.

[@ajkylen]

So very sorry about Patrick and your passage wishing you all the very best

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Joe.

[@PanzerDave]

Thank you for the update, and thank you for your incredible honesty regarding a difficult time. I wish you and Michael all the best, and thank you for sharing this part of your life with us.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks for watching my almost non sailing video… appreciate it.

[@PanzerDave]

@@RVLifeNOW While you it is true that you did discuss personal issues, those are indeed a part of sailing! You did cover a good amount of sailing too. The videography was very good and I enjoyed seeing St. Helena. Even though you didn't mention it, I am sure you slept well after climbing the stairs! : ) I empathize with what you are dealing with, and admire your courage, not just with dealing with it, but also the courage of sharing with us your feelings. While you may not feel brave, I admire your courage. Fair winds.

[@willywonka8730]

New relationships are TOUGH!!! ...especially with seasoned folks who have survived thru thick and thin. Add the stress of boat management and loss of a loved one - WOW! I was struggling with a number of things. I shared it with an old friend who suggested I write all my issues (not complaints) down and then prioritize them. By the end of the day I had resolved nearly half the issues on my list and felt fantastic. Just a thought. Hope you are both well.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Willy. Appreciate that!

[@donnamass9576]

Thank you for being real. Life can be hard at these trying times ON land and you were honest with yourself and us in this vlog about the state of ‘things’ both on and off the boat and within the relationship. I 👏 you both for doing you and staying with the original commitment whilst you, Rebecca, continued your grief process which started (less than?) a year ago. Grief takes Many forms and you’re walking it through in what I would call very trying situations on a boat whilst crossing oceans. I Honor You Both. You go into my book as heroes on ‘how to do life’ when life continues to urge you forward. Blessings and Love from my ❤️.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks so much Donna…yes…a little over a year ago now…

[@donnamass9576]

@@RVLifeNOW It's best to stay with your emotions for 18-24 months, while it feels like you are 'bumping into walls' every which way you turn. It's okay! Be kind to yourself, recognize what be happnin' and love yourself through it, Just As you're doing, love. Such courage, my sister.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Donna. Geez..everyone said a year…not 18-24 months…when will it end ? Kidding of course…but geez..hardest thing of my life… just wanna be normal again. But it’s going in that direction…for sure..I can feel it.

[@donnamass9576]

@@RVLifeNOW Rebecca, I moved through my partners suicide...it took me 20 years before I felt that burden lift. I just thank God, every day, he did not take me with him, which was his plan. Trauma is trauma, and we each handle our own traumas the way our body governs us to do so. I’m sending blessings of strength, courage and love, Because I feel your ❤️.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks so much Donna. I have no idea really what I’m doing..just one foot in front of the other.

[@mitzanodeparetzack2198]

Rebecca, thank you for sharing your feelings with us. I could state that everything you describe is absolutely logic given your recent past. With regard to the future and your relation, it is for sure that in our age we all have our own theories for everything in life and the 100% compatibility with a new friend needs tolerance. Michael seems to be a very fine and decent person but follow your heart.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks. Yes…hard to know from watching a quick video about the reality of a couple. Michael is a great guy. I think I’m a decent person too. But it may be that we are just too different.

[@popeyethesailor6337]

Hang in there you two, it gets better, I speak from experience.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks. We are trying our best.

[@janiceworkman7144]

Michael cares a lot for you I believe. Please give him a chance. You will never forget your true love. Be safe.

[@RVLifeNOW]

I believe you are right too. I don’t know how he could, but I think he does…

[@bernardszirth9665]

I have a feeling there were 3 of you on the boat! Patrick lives on in every part of the boat…. Don’t feel guilty! I am sure Patrick is happy and proud of you. Michael is keeping his word to take care of you and the boat! Perhaps giving him the feel he is part of Brick House is the path to your heart!

[@shakedlw3394]

You are so brave. You inspire me.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks. Sailing on a small boat across a big ocean is not always so easy…

[@JohnMiller-ub8dy]

Do you think that Patrick would be happy with your treatment of Michael .

[@RVLifeNOW]

No. Probably not.

[@raymonddecomarmond31]

Hey guys, trying to calculate where you all are presently... I love following your development on your crossing. If you ever come to Trinidad and Tobago please look me up.

[@RVLifeNOW]

In Grenada…almost neighbors :) May sail there soon ;)

[@marine919]

So glad you've made it to your present location, and you have the first JAB behind you. I'm not surprised by the drama in this passage. Hope for more compatibility with the remaining nautical miles.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks. It was tough all the way around d, but now we are here.

[@marksoule463]

Rebecca, My thoughts and prayers go out to you as you find your way in this world. We will never forget Patrick and your loving relationship, but hope you find peace.

[@beverleypettit3577]

It takes time, Mark, to traverse the pain of loss. Easy does it...

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thank you

[@jonwetherell5214]

Welcome back.. You went through a storm and lost your anchor in life. You have a new anchor but will it hold? The last one was an admiralty design this one is a Danforth.. You slept well under anchor before but now you keep getting up to check… Bound to be cranky ..but if the new anchor is up to spec then after time when trust sets in …..Be safe and looking forward to next episode.

[@RVLifeNOW]

That’s a very cute way of putting it. Thanks :)

[@JustMe-pp1mp]

WOW, tuff crowd this week Rebecca. I'd like to think that you both have the 'right stuff' to get past the hurdles that all new relationships present. As long as you're open and fair with each other you can go a long way together. :-)

[@RVLifeNOW]

I thin so too..thanks for the vote of confidence…

[@Jeremy-km4dj]

Hope everything is going ok

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Jeremy. The rollercoaster continues. New video coming out this week.

[@EdToml]

Thanks to both of you for sharing. It cannot be easy to adjust to each other. Think ruts can be the bane of relationships. Sounds like you have recognized this. Hope you both can find a way to joy.

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks for your well wishes. We are STILL trying!

[@MrBlurbman]

Relationships, especially new ones and to boot you are both mature and set your ways, are always difficult. If I lost my wife now after 25 years, I don't feel as if I could go through it all again with someone else. Also anyone else would constantly be compared, unfairly, with the person I knew for so long. So try to take it easy on yourself and your new partner. I admire your strength and resolve. Always try to believe that tomorrow will be a bit better, rather than fearing all that could go wrong. All my love and best wishes to you both.

[@RVLifeNOW]

That’s good advice. I definitely honk too much. And aim not sure I have the strength to do it all again either.

[@alishaadams4037]

Thank you for sharing your journey and feelings, hope all is well with you

[@RVLifeNOW]

Thanks Alisha. Things are going better now.

[@scottmechanical]

I thought the Astra Zeneca was banned due to side effects ?

[@RVLifeNOW]

No it’s one of the most popular in the world. Only 1 in 7 million have the blood clot issue, and the other shots have almost the same.

[@donaldsmith3337]

@@RVLifeNOW I had both shots (astra Zeneca) 1st shot had 24hr reaction, 2nd nothing. I figured my immune system is working fine. Greetings from Ont. Canada.

[@timhardman4764]

To GS: better change the place you are getting your news from.

[@paulpaul9914]

@@RVLifeNOW A previous infection will probably confer more than 17 years immunity - research from SC1 in 2003. Get hold of Vit D / K, Liposomal quercetin & a good zinc supplement such as zinc glycinate & Liposomal Vit C. Learn how to use them & how they work. If in significant trouble with an infection don't allow over oxygenation, has to be carefully administered and monitored if utilised. In this situation ordinary anti histamines & a simple asthma steroid inhaler / nebuliser work.