Saint Maud: God As A Self-Portrait

[@TheStorytellerWolf]

Faith without genuine empathy for yourself and others has to be sustained by pain and fear because there's nothing else to fall back on.

[@Chiefleif91]

And anger

[@professionalpainthuffer]

I think the self-empathy is a key point that people miss. You can neither give nor receive love to the best of your ability if you deny it to yourself.

[@fightvale57]

Is this a quote or are you just lovely?

[@nette9206]

whoah

[@speedingatheist]

Faith sadly is always reduced to empathy for the in-group and pretended empathy to expand the in-group.

[@ltleflrt]

"It's so easy to worship a symbol so devoutly that you forget what lesson that symbol was created to teach you in the first place." That was profound, dude.

[@Lambda_Ovine]

"God can't help but be a portrait of the world around you, Maud only gave Him space to be a self-portrait." Not gonna lie, that's one of the deepest takes on God as a concept I've ever heard.

[@troyarchers]

John Lennon said it with a bit more poetry.

[@troyarchers]

Check out Tolstoy's story "Father Sergius." It has similar themes but with a much more positive ending.

[@kel9037]

@@troyarchers Sometimes we don't get a positive ending.

[@troyarchers]

@@kel9037 Yes....

[@yannilibbes8219]

ofc i see my boy roach dogg jr in this channel

[@baneoftechnology]

the first time I got to the jump scare at the end I was filled with the deepest dread to the point where I almost felt sick. Not that I ever bought into Maud's broken perspective, but the haunting idea that at the last moment she was torn from the illusion of sainthood with such violence...it's a horrifying concept

[@woahbro6604]

bro I havent seen the movie and honestly it makes me want to throw up it twisted my gut so hard. For sure gonna watch this soon

[@arphangh5409]

I don't really think that her illusion was torn but the jump scare is just her physical reaction. I like to think that she actually find peace in that twisted way for some reasons

[@celery8059]

I was wondering why that disturbed me so much too but I think you explained it! Also she was so child-like in the sense that she never let herself accept how meaningless her life really was, so watching her in agony, probably having the realization that her God never loved her (or existed) is all the more horrible.

[@JediJuniper92]

Yesss same! It was so jarring and upsetting, I felt like I was going to be sick as well. Phenomenal filmmaking.

[@kgblagden]

Ape Brain: Aw, yes. I have finally found my purpose in Gods great plan as a martyr. My sacrifice will- LIZARD BRAIN OVERRIDE: HOLY FUCKING SHIT I'M ON FUCKING FIRE!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

[@queerlybeloved257]

"By choosing God over people, instead of seeing God IN people, she shrinks God to something angry and small." Woah. That's a phenomenal analysis. Not just of Maud, but I think of a pattern of behavior that all of us are at risk of, and that many allow to dominate their actions. I think of times I've been called "an abomination" for being queer, vs. how when I think of God, I think of people who choose to be brave and kind and help others, even when it was hard, and how I think God was definitely in the latter actions, and not in the action of telling someone there's something "wrong" about just... who they are. And maybe that's a lesson for all of us -- whether or not we believe in God, we probably believe in SOMETHING big -- morality, science, working towards a better world, etc. So it's like a reminder to never let the big thing/s we believe in stop us from seeing people AS people, AS humans, and from acting accordingly.

[@chriscze6153]

"what does god appear as to someone who hates themselves?" that is one of the most chillingly beautiful and poignant sentences I have ever heard, especially in a video essay. that hit home.

[@eatatjoes6751]

I've tried picturing God multiple times and...fog.

[@DmpstrPirate]

@@eatatjoes6751 frog

[@claretravels783]

"Has anyone ever told you that God has a plan for your life?" "they sure have" *that* made me chuckle. I grew up Christian too and I don't think that sentiment really helped prepare me for adult life, haha!

[@emems6620]

Same!

[@MFLimited]

Just because you don’t like what happened, doesn’t mean it’s not the plan

[@saadbunni]

@@MFLimited not what shes saying. Saying god has a plan doesnt reveal anything important to prepare yourself for. Like one prepared for a period. * moms usually have stuff on hand for that time or schools or whatever. We get sex ed. Were prepared.* now imagine like the movie carrie, you were sheltered from it. It then becomes terrifying , stressful, painful, and confusing when presented with your bodies natural course. Much like not being able to prepare for ANY part of life. Simply just knowing life will happen, well we already know that. But it doesnt help us prepare for anything life will throw our way. Theres some things we should have some pre knowledge of. Taxes, lots of adult things. Lots of adult SITUATIONS. * not sexual * but again without knowing any of those things even MIGHT come your way, your mind has no way to pre conceive. Pre prepare, or how to handle the situation or thing at all, finding your way completely by yourself. That's. More what we mean I THINK. I THINK I'm not trying to speak for anyone in particular just trying to interpret what she meant better, I dont think shes saying she didnt like the path god took her down, or that because she didnt like it that wasnt her path. I think she means the sentiment didnt help her DOWN that path with any knowledge of wich way to take when you come to a hypothetical crossroads, or split in the path. It's harder then at least knowing some of what god has laid out for everyone, again like those adult situations we will all have to deal with someday , I think some pre knowledge would help. Instead of just knowing there is a path you must take but not particularly knowing how to take that path, or wich one. That's all.♡

[@aria5614]

Saying God has a plan for your life also takes away your agency in it. It's not your life anymore, it's God's. And if you don't follow his plan you're a sinner and you get sent to hell. Which is a very reductionist way of looking at the world and yes, prevents the believer from learning anything.

[@Yharazayd]

this entire vid consists of you dropping mic after mic

[@margaretdiaz6043]

omg i love your channel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@emzcake5537]

It’s so hard to find good Christian horror when I believe it has such untapped potential, and I think St. Maud is able to truly take advantage such dark themes in relation to the terror perpetuated by the blind following of faith and how it deludes its followers from the true roles they play in reality when gone too far.

[@TheAnadromist]

I would disagree. This was not a film about faith or religion. It was a film about delusion and obsession. At no point is any genuine Christian practice shown. It is all Maud's self invention. It is her notion of what religion should be for such a traumatized girl as herself. You don't have to be traditionally religious to do the exact same thing. (I go into this in more detail in my comment above.)

[@eileensnow6153]

Okay so it’s been a few months since you left this comment, and I was wondering if you’ve seen Midnight Mass on Netflix? It’s a horror story over the course of 10 episodes and it’s both critical and respectful to the Catholic Church. It’s effective horror with no unnecessary jump scares and I can’t recommend it highly enough

[@jjsmama401]

Have you seen “a Dark Song?” It’s probably my favorite horror film ever.

[@deirdrejones5974]

@@jjsmama401 one of my absolute favorites! Even my husband stayed awake to watch it.

[@homestuck_official]

@@TheAnadromist I would say that that's exactly why it's a horror film about faith, in the same way that Hereditary is a horror film about family. It takes something comforting for many and twists into something dark yet horrifyingly familiar.

[@kitwhitfield7169]

You know, the ‘Nothing you do matters’ comment that breaks Maud? I assumed that was the point where she slipped from hearing Amanda to hearing her own demons. We don’t see Amanda *saying* it; we see Maud *hearing* it. Could it really be an external speaker who so perfectly encapsulates her worst fears? Maybe - but perhaps not. After all, the idea that no God equals no meaning isn’t an automatic conclusion to Amanda, who’s spent her life finding meaning in art and people. The idea that a godless universe is one in which you don’t matter? That’s Maud’s fear - and why, really, she’s so pathological about her faith. And that so often happens in tragic miscommunications: one of us says something unwelcome, and the other of us hears it as ‘Your dearest and worst fear is true.’ Even when that’s not what we meant!

[@s3.14dervision]

St. Maud was a breath of fresh air for me. Like Maud, I, too suddenly dove headlong into my faith after serious trauma in order to make things all right. I cut myself off from the entire world and when I still felt depression, terror and boredom, believed I was unworthy. After I saw this film I remembered what it said in the book of James about "faith without works is dead" and interpreted it to mean that isolating myself and just immersing myself in my Bible wasn't the way to find peace. I started to get out, got therapy for my trauma and social anxiety and my life is improving by leaps and bounds. Ironically, I found God and spirituality by getting back out into the world He created and by celebrating the life He's given me. I've always found horror movies to be extremely cathartic and therapeutic and while I know its not the way for everyone, its been amazing for me. Thanks for excellent content!

[@ryan.1990]

Faith without works IS dead! Glory to God +

[@eatatjoes6751]

This is exactly how I feel - have felt, for a long while now in a desperate attempt to search for myself. It's really sad.

[@Milkytan]

When you say that selfloathing is also self absorbance, the people are not souls to save but an audience. I feel that on a personal level and... idk how to feel about that, but oof.

[@micahcook2408]

That’s why I always felt more aligned with helping others when you cant help yourself... but there’s pros and cons to both sides lolol sticky and complex stuff

[@fluffyg3137]

That was greatly written.

[@Shammon5]

Her faith was very performative, even to God. That's why although she was doing God's work by caring for and comforting the sick it wasn't enough. She needed God to look and see and comment on her deeds. She needed Amanda to change because it would show how well Maud had done at being faithful. She killed herself in such a public fashion because she needed people to see her and be in awe. Maud was a very narcissistic person wrapped up in a cloak of pseudo-holiness.

[@user-gd4ty2nq3u]

she wasn’t doing it genuinely, only for validation

[@levvy7879]

That's a very astute observation but I also consider the fact that Christianity itself is a very performative religion. I mean if you look in the bible, it celebrates these very public acts. Jesus dying on the cross, going into a temple to condemn the people who were selling stuff, etc. and in my personal experience with Christianity it taught us to "show the world how faithful we were" and to aim to be a martyr for Christianity. I deeply connect with Maud since her experiences mirror my own in more ways than I want to admit but my point is Christianity brainwashes you. Perhaps she wanted attention or perhaps she didn't, but we can't know for sure because of how Christianity trains you to abandon your own feelings for God.

[@grumpymonk2573]

I like this, but I wouldn't call Maud narcissistic. She's broken and hurt, and to add that negative connotation of her being self-absorbed seemingly takes away from the trauma and pain she's experienced. Dehumanizes her when all she needs is to be humanized, you know? I would say she's more just following what she's read in the Bible. The whole thing is just one great act after another that people witness, and I think Maud took that literally.

[@lucasmcinnis5045]

This is a good take, but I agree with the replies more. This take puts all the blame on Maud, and none onto the very real oppressive structure that organized religion can drill into vulnerable people like Maud. They are both broken.

[@kinglas9056]

She wasnt doing it just for the sake of it. She was doing it, so she doesn't go to hell and or doesn't get any punishment. It's how Christianity works.

[@IknowIamkindagreat]

22 years ago, my best friend killed himself by lighting himself on fire. Suffice it to say, the climax of this movie wasn't something I was prepared for, as it legitimately stole the breath from my lungs and has still yet to give it back.

[@FlynnMcTaggart]

That's fucking rough, Sorry to hear, man. Hopefully you're friend has finally found peace he was seeking in whatever lies beyond.

[@emems6620]

So sorry to hear this, sending you strength

[@Hakajin]

That's also how my mom killed herself. She had been through a year-long period of anxiety that left her pretty much catatonic, unable to care for herself... During it she wrote down all these Bible verses about how God would heal you, and... I think her faith ended up letting her down. I got it; although the way she did it was of course horrific, I've been through anxiety so intense that I feel like I understand why someone would kill themselves. In my case, the whole problem was death fears, so suicide wasn't even an option, but... I made it through; I learned how to live with uncertainty. And in fact... It didn't happen right away, but the faith I've developed since then is WAY more personal and meaningful to me than what I grew up with.

[@IknowIamkindagreat]

@@Hakajin I am proud of you

[@bettievw]

@@Hakajin that sounds incredibly distressing. I hope you're doing well and that you're finding ways to thrive and be happy despite your anxiety, I wish you all the luck in the world.

[@destine1547]

Just finished the film. It’s a really interesting look at the perspective of pain within faith and how for some there is no divine without shame and pain.

[@whimsydearest]

As Hozier once said, take me to church

[@J2amirez]

As Patrice O'niel once said, "nigga YOU CORNY!"

[@biggestastiest]

praise be to the fae king

[@jdk9673]

I hadn’t thought of Maud’s concept of God as a self-portrait, specifically a self-portrait of someone who hates themself, but I think that’s the key to understanding this film. I did notice the quick shot of her glancing toward a church steeple that was towering above the other buildings. It was several blocks away from her, far away from likely the most zealously Christian person in that town. It was the first time I realized I hadn’t seen her in a church or with a priest or in any other religious setting except the one she created for herself in her home. Usually “The Church” is a key figure in stories about religious obsession, possessions, or supernatural interference and the like, horror movie or otherwise, but it’s seemingly not part of Maud’s life at all. I think that contributed to the suffocating claustrophobia of this movie. In every scene we are all up in Maud’s face and it feels like the walls are closing in. I think that is as close as it gets to us as an audience experiencing what it’s like for her to be stuck in her head, just sorta spinning her wheels and digging deeper into her delusion without any real input from any outside source (definitely what made reviewers find her a thinly drawn character, in my opinion). It was unsettling, but also so oppressive. Instead of feeling joy and freedom with Maud in her new religious experience, we feel her confinement and repression.

[@mysteriiis]

This. Maude could have easily joined an Order of nuns. She's already doing everything they'd want her to.

[@almostshawn3230]

@@mysteriiis But then she wouldn't be unique, and if she's not unique that means God has no plan for her, and if God has no plan for her than that means she's a failure.

[@thomasbrush]

As a practicing Christian, I loved this analysis. Super wise in so many ways, especially in the context of the garbage found in so many corners of the Protestant Church. For any Christian who may find this video upsetting, just remember Jesus spent a good chunk of his time critiquing those who made their tiny world a portrait of God. These same people eventually killed him. However, the other side of the coin is that, if there is a God, he likely does have a face to fill that portrait (no matter how vast or infinite, he does have a face). Our job is to perhaps paint it in the best way possible, discovering the contours of his face, etc. As pretentious as it sounds, I think the first swatch should always be love. Of-course, love is not a simple color that is easily understood. Sometimes it is painful, sometimes it is limiting, sometimes it doesn't seem like love. And I think that's a conundrum of human existence. What exactly does infinite love look like? Maud's portrait was way off -- we should all heed that warning, no matter what belief system we find ourselves.

[@axolotl1237]

Incredibly well said. I really appreciate your nuance

[@cathylindeboom4494]

I love your comment - thank you for it, it gives me even more to contemplate.

[@Lonesurvivor256]

This vid is straight fire. I had a similar upbringing (3x a week church, and Christian school) and I had the same obsession with the "will of God". There was nothing more grandiose than this preoccupation. It was often reinforced with a parade of missionaries who would come in and talk about all they are doing for God. I felt like I understood Maud's blinded devotion to a god of her own creation so so much. Well done, man. Great vid.

[@jessbian3385]

Ya know what ELSE is straight fire-

[@NewGuy-l4c]

Straight fire..I see what u did there

[@prettynpetty8342]

Ahh, thank Maud someone compared the Witch's Devil conversation to Maud's conversation with her interpretation of God.

[@thewhiterabbitchaser]

thank Maud is 10/10 funny post watching this video

[@MorriganReads]

I grew up really strict Catholic and this movie made me cry. Just how empty my life was when everything was “by faith alone”. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t do anything before praying first. I was gay and was terrified that “gods plan” was gonna be marrying a man or being a nun, neither of which I wanted. Eventually I just decided to try and be a good and kind person and not worry about what a god thought. If I do good and God says it’s not good enough cause I didn’t worship, that’s not a god worth following. I’m gonna do what I think is right, and God will have to live with it.

[@romankotas448]

One of my favorite sayings I once heard regarding religion is ‘doubt is the handmaiden of faith.’

[@faithmoir1637]

this reminds me of the moment in fleabag when the priest tells fleabag she makes him question his faith, and when she asks if he’s in doubt he tells her “i’ve never felt closer to god”

[@mariamatedei]

nothing pisses me off more than the way she says "it takes nothing special to clean after the decrepit". it does take something special (because it's hard to find and to recognise) and fundamental to Christian faith: humility. (or humbleness). there's no better demonstration of how to be more unchristian-like than someone who thinks of themselves too good or too important to do dirty work in favour of the less fortunate, literally the point of Jesus crusifiction in the spiritual level of things, and to think there's something greater you can do that's not already self evident but you refuse to do out of bloated pride in yourself.

[@thenero9493]

Amen

[@jo-mj3kd]

I absolutely love how you pointed out that the horror of this film is the viewer's perspective sutured to maud's. I think that such a brilliant insight into the film because her cloistered self effectively prevents us from coming to alternative conclusions in that very second as the scene is happening. it doesn't provide enough time if that makes sense? and you can only reinterpret the scene if you go back, independent of maud's point of view. its like being trapped in your body with someone else at the wheel.

[@cabbagebaker]

Damn...determining whether doubt is inner strength or weakness spoke volumes to me...nice work

[@sailorstickybunz]

8:54 don't threaten me with a good time....AND THEN NOT DELIVER

[@starsong3]

this is such a good video. and the self awareness in “if you can stomach a white boy quoting Nietzsche at you-“ made me laugh. and more seriously I was raised evangelical Baptist so I also recognize the familiarity you’re talking about. I haven’t seen this movie but the way it shows her isolating and retreating into herself, and the ramifications of that.... it sounds like effective horror and also fairly pertinent as information and media gets more polarized..... like you say she’s a walking time bomb and the way the movie juxtaposes her warped view with reality is quite effective imo. Your point about the difference between a lecture and a conversation was particularly good!

[@NyleGames]

Wonderful video, I really enjoyed it! :) A small side note, that you’re probably aware of but I thought it was a bit of a shame it was left out. When Maud hears the voice of god, it may seem foreign and strange to many viewers and thus the effect, however, not only is it her voice but it’s in Welsh, her mother tongue. Another emphasis on how her image of god is warped by her own, very lonely and isolated perspective.

[@DeidreL9]

Doubt is like a doorway too. And it sometimes opens, not just closes. Doubt for one system of belief can lead to another enlightenment. And sometimes back again. I haven’t watched this film because the quietness of it frightens me too much. The themes are interesting, it’s like watching about Carrie’s mother. I wanted to be a nun when I was younger. I’m a pagan now, walking my own path. I don’t really talk about my beliefs. But, I have chronic OCD and agoraphobia. When I was at the height of my Christianity, I was severely ill with both. Not because of the religion, but because of how people manipulated that teaching. I’m better with my quieter way of being. It’s more potent too, because it’s more personal. And, I’m more accountable too, it’s not just “God fixes all, end of argument.” I grapple with the darkness of the world, on a very deep level, and don’t just pray away the feelings, which I was always encouraged to do with the church I was with. I’ve really enjoyed this video. I’m not sure Maud is...THERE...when she dies. I think her mind is far far away. I hope so.

[@michellebrowne9100]

This made me so happy. What a great reminder to focus on the love for humanity and connection with others.

[@thefollowingisatest4579]

I'm glad you made this cause this one was definitely on my "cannot reasonably put myself through it" list. I am reminded a lot of your night of the hunter review in terms of its demonstration of the competing interpretations of faith. Also, me during your patreon announcement: "oh, thats cool, I'll definitely contribute at some point. Eraserhead, yeah interesting. Nightmare on Elm Street, cool cool. LAST EXORCISM? SHUT UP AND TAKE THE MONEY."

[@fusionspace175]

Even though I just had this entire movie "spoiled", I'm still going to watch it. And I'll bet I'm going to understand it better and enjoy it more because of this.

[@TheGallicWitch]

Faith is such a fascinating thing, both in the awe-inspiring and the horrifying sense. There's this paradox in my community. We consider ourselves atheist, and as we're all French, we also deeply believe in the secularism of the government, school and public spaces. But we're also a pagan community. I grew up hearing of the fey and how to appease and work with them. Just a handul of days ago was Beltane, a celebration of fertility and abundance, and we kept windows open for the fey to pass through, we jumped over bonfires to keep away sickness and bad luck. When one of our farm's baby sheep gets lost, I ask Epona to guide them back to us. When I cook or light up the hearth fire, I ask Belisama to put her power in the fire so that my family is protected. Is that not faith? I don't know. It's not how we view it, because there is no worship. There is no blessings or miracles. The names we give to these figures are just representations of real-life concepts given form. Is that not art, then? Sounds to me like a metaphor in a poem, or a face on a painting, more than a divine entity. That's why, I think, my community considers itself atheist despite its practices. We don't worship Epona, goddess of horses, the Crossroads, travelers and thiefs. Instead, we believe in walking your own path, exploring every possibility and always finding your way home. Those are concepts, ethics, morals, however you want to call it. There is no sacrifice, no martyrdom, no pain in the beliefs this community (or the larger celtic/gaulish pagan community) holds, no religious leader or sacred text to follow. It's all so... human, you know? I suppose that's why films like Saint Maud fascinate me so. I have a deep distrust of monotheist, organised religion, Christianity above all other, and this sort of movie doesn't really help with that. But it does put into context the incredibly human nature of this kind of religion, in the same way we're proud of how human our own beliefs are. For that reason, and for your usual fascinating analysis of this movie, I had a great time watching this video. I'm happy to be able to support you on patreon now, I can't wait to watch the videos you'll put out there and know I'm contributing even a tiny bit to their making!

[@punished4890]

I've started to see religion as a rat-in-the-box concept that people have made up, pray to a godess to give you wealth, probably someone did and the chances of him becoming wealthy became true sort of a lottery ticket you ignore that hundreds of people did the same and failed while the one who was actually lucky got wealthy, it's something that humans made to "carve" their luck which doesn't really work

[@Akihito007]

So you say you're an atheist but pretend pray to false gods but the One God of Christianity who is Sovereign and Holy, you fully hate and reject. Seems like you hate Christianity because it tells you your ways are evil and commands you to repent of your sins against the very God you hate yet upholds you along with the world.

[@punished4890]

@@Akihito007 Get a hold of this guy

[@Akihito007]

@@punished4890 Seems like you don't understand foundational Theology son.

[@punished4890]

@@bryanmarabe8098 Ahhhhh, they treat each other nice, but for people outside their inner circle it's a whole another story, they k1lled the infants of the enemy in one story of the bible, they encourage r@pe and many other sh1t in the bible, while, yeah, not all Christian go fully by the bible, they still treat Muslims, Jewish people, Atheist, Hindu's, very poorly.

[@mattmahler9756]

Excellent video. For me, the references to William Blake are extremely important to the narrative of the film. Blake believed that the God most people worship is actually Satan (his epic Jerusalem and his illustrations for the book of Job make this explicit, as Thomas Altizer and others point out). So it would make sense that the God she believes she is connecting to (the God of pain, the God who flooded the world and demanded genocide, i.e. Satan) and is being guided by is actually the devil, the complete opposite of Love. As you said, this Satan is the God of someone who hates (themselves). Again, great video (and reference to Winter Light!)

[@mermaidleal]

As someone that loves to watch analysis, I still haven't found one that hits me as deep as yours do. Your work is definitely special and unique! PS: I watched a Japanese movie these days called "The World Of Kanako", and I don't know If It would be something you would like to analyze, but I couldn't find anything about It and just thought how this movie deserves a review on your level of good. Anyways, just a suggestion in case you are needing one haha

[@AcolytesOfHorror]

Thanks for the rec and the kind words!

[@greenfaerietarot7465]

"It underlines how empty her life is with faith alone." Goddamn dude.

[@stygiantwst]

"doubt is a scream inside of the silence" incredible.

[@haphazardlark1502]

This channel’s getting better and better

[@MitchJohnson0110]

I find it interesting that Maud fixates on William Blake's work, as he notably did a lot of illustrations for Dante's Inferno. Over my life i've heard many "hell and brimstone" type Christians use excerpts from Inferno to reinforce their beliefs, being completely ignorant to the fact that Dante wrote with a satirical style and The Divide Comedy was a commentary on the issues within the church at the time.

[@PinkWasAlreadyTaken]

I think this is a pretty good movie. I do really enjoy that the movie isn't really criticizing Christianity but is more of a dive into the beliefs of Maud. I agree with what you were saying in the end and personally I see the story as some kind of irony. The fact that she sees herself as so devout and saintly yet she goes against the things that Jesus teaches. She hates her neighbors, she isolates herself, she murders an innocent woman, and in a weird twist of self loathing she becomes enveloped by narcissism. This was a great video!

[@juju-vl7oj]

I love this movie. On the surface I'm nothing like Maud but I relate to the character alot. That feeling of isolation and praying to the Universe or God so passionately and being completely lost when there is no answer. It's extremely universal I think for loner types or perhaps anybody who has gone through a mental breakdown to have the struggle in the search for peace.

[@ico2423]

In a weird way I empathize with maud. I often get stuck in this idea that I need to mean something to the people around me, even beyond my friends. But I eventually remind myself of the things I have done and the things I may do and how important the people around me truly are. I am thankful for the people in my life and ultimately content with who I am and what I do.

[@river8142]

I love how the background choir music really sets the tone for the entire essay

[@blep8563]

fascinating video. the last jumpscare is haunting

[@kyleparker8494]

I'm not a big fan of horror movies, but I am a big fan of well-considered movie reviews. Another great one. Thank you

[@LAL7887]

I was just like "man I wonder if acolytes of horror has a new video" and lo and behold I see a premier in two days! Can't wait

[@BrutalOslaugh95]

Yup!

[@elizabethhunter3571]

this is SUCH a good video about this movie ive had a hard time finding a good genuine discussion of this film that isnt just like "SAINT MAUD ENDING EXPLAINED!!!" ive never seen a video from you before but man this is soooo good

[@keystep8669]

I appreciate these videos. My favorite aspect of horror is its connection to philosophical ideas. I think your work is amazing.

[@QuirkyShiny]

Brilliant brilliant BRILLIANT analysis as always. Thank you so much for these incredibly well-thought-out and careful video essays. Fascinating stuff. Love your work.

[@AcolytesOfHorror]

Thank you!

[@QuirkyShiny]

@@AcolytesOfHorror No, thank YOU

[@destine1547]

Pausing video, will watch the movie this weekend and come back.

[@AcolytesOfHorror]

heck yeah, enjoy the ride

[@mermaidreverie]

As a catholic who has struggled with deep self hatred and social anxiety, this movie hits me like a truck. I am not nearly as...shall we say, devout as Maud, but sometimes I've felt like her. Like no matter how faithful I am, that I am unsure that I have purpose. Of course, that's more an accurate description of my younger self -- about the age I was went I watched this movie. I had just come back to catholicism after having lapsed for around two years. I was scared that I was damned, and oft tried to overplay my own faith in order to somehow absolve myself, which is kind of what like Maud does. I wasn't putting thumbtacks in my shoes or kneeling on corn kernels, but I didn't realize that I was internalizing God so much that I wasn't seeing Him in other people. As I went back to reading the Bible and actually studying Christ's life, I realized that the most important thing is kindness and love. Watching this analysis, years after watching the film, I am filled with a realization of what the movie was actually trying to tell me. At eighteen I interpreted it as some sort of critique of catholicism, but now, I realize it actually was criticizing those who don't realize the importance of loving one's neighbor. Sorry for the wall of text, I'm just dumping my words out here, but it's weird that most of my most profound revelations about my relationship with Christ and all that are always found from youtube. God is everywhere, not just in you and your own self-perception. Jesus once said “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matt. 25:40), which means in essence to see God in others. See God in others, and doing something nice for someone today

[@AngelinaX23]

I am much older than you, but your comments mirror my own experience. You are absolutely right about Jesus and seeing God in others. I suffer from chronic pain and I tend to use it as an excuse to isolate myself.

[@PulpandArt]

I wanted to make a video essay about that movie but yours was so perfect I have nothing to add lol. Keep up the great work!!!

[@Bizarro69]

What a movie. I stopped this video essay to watch it first, did not even know about it so I appreciate you so much for the heads up!

[@ravenrose297]

11:58 "In my experience doubt is a scream inside of a silence, and what's so horrible about it is you can't tell if the scream is coming from a place of inner wisdom or weakness" Holy shit I honestly think this is my favourite quote from any KZbin video ever. It perfectly portrays what self doubt feels like, explaining it so effortlessly while I couldn't even begin to put it into words. So relatable.

[@duchesscreepypasta4526]

As a Christian myself, this analysis really got me thinking. Doubt is actually really important to faith if you think about it. Martin Luther doubted the practices of the Catholic church which led to the reformation. We should question the church and our own beliefs to figure out what God wants. It is important to read and understand the scriptures for ourselves (and I mean going back to the original translations) so that we may draw nearer to God. Maud may have learned scripture but did she truly understand it? I don't think so. God is hardly ever reflected in our world, much less so in our own mirror. Can we experience the love of the Lord through people? Absolutely. But once you start depending on people to draw closer to God, you will be left wanting because none of us are perfect. It is still important to join a church, build a community with Christ centred lives and learn from one another. However, your relationship with Christ is between you and Him. It is so incredibly easy for people to manipulate scripture. It is easy to take out of context by looking at a verse and not the entire passage. People will use the Bible to manipulate people but that is a reflection of the people, not God Himself. It can be said of any belief system, even atheism has been the cause of the most atrocious acts in human history but is it because of what it teaches or because of what its followers think it teaches? Again, it is so important to understand the scriptures in its entirety. This film captures a twisted view of the Christian faith within the mind of someone who considers themselves to be Christian. It has been done many times before. I want to see a horror movie that captures a twisted view of the Christian faith from someone outside of the Christian faith and their reaction to it. I want to see a movie where faith is perceived to be the enemy but that creates an evil within itself. Does that make sense? I hope it does. God bless all of you.

[@gravel9270]

Yes. Doubt sure is important in faith in order to avoid blind faith. Look at the times when people in the Bible talk about false prophets.

[@sunainahussain]

I think you'd really connect with Midnight Mass because it does deal with these ideas through it's Muslim character as a good man of faith and it also explores how faith gets twisted into unhealthy radicalisation the first place among so many other things

[@jessbian3385]

The way this film isn’t explicitly that scary- sure, the levitation, the self harm and even the Amanda Demon scene are a little spooky, but more atmospheric- until the last dozen FRAMES is what really makes this film stand out. Its dull tone, its marriage to the empty, to the mundane for an hour and a half, only for the last dozen FRAMES to blast the viewer with one of the most terrifying things I’ve had a movie present me… it’s just spectacular.

[@roseghould]

Didn’t expect to laugh so hard in any of your reviews but the *GASP*’s really caught me off guard

[@beebalmbadil]

glad I watched this before I tried watching the movie. I am NOT prepared to see that scare at the end after the emotional buildup of the movie in front of it. I AM, however, prepared for hot takes on god. thank you so much for this

[@tristantnt123]

“The difference between a lecture and a conversation” 🔥🔥🔥

[@larsencba6921]

I'm glad you made this one because I couldn't watch this movie. Something about the pace and tone put me in a very depressed state half an hour in and had to quit, but is very interesting.

[@Saffron-sugar]

Regardless of how you try to view a rose, a worm always symbolizes corruption and/or decay.

[@identifymenot]

This film stuck with me, not scary, not creepy just harrowing, her mental illness is scarier than any monster put to screen

[@perhapsyes2493]

This is not a movie I would have watched, nor will I. I don't like horror with jumpscares - at all. But I deeply thank you for the review. This was brilliant. The ending shot of Maud burning is so incredibly visceral. Makes me think of the proverb: "The road to hell is paved with good intentions"

[@AcolytesOfHorror]

if such things are any consolation, the ending jump scare of her burning is the only one in the movie!

[@goodtaste2185]

What an incredible video. I didnt enjoy the film all that much but you bring to light a lot of stuff I believe I missed. Great editing, soothing narration. You deserve your glow up, whenever it inevitably comes!

[@MFLimited]

Trendy atheism aside: I couldn’t help but feel that if Maude had been part of a regular church community (I’m talking C of E, not some American evangelical hate crap that looks like an award show), that she might have found people that would have talked some sense into her. Maude only saw things in black and white. Complete piety or complete iniquity.

[@funstuff81girl]

Evangelicals aren't all megachurches. Many of us dont like them and prefer communities small enought to allow known community.

[@BE-ew2pt]

@@funstuff81girlSpeaking as someone who grew up in a smaller evangelical church, it was actually worse and more cult-like than your average dumb stadium megachurch.

[@era_s]

"Doubt is a scream inside of a silence. And what’s so horrible about it, is you can’t tell if the scream is coming from a place of inner wisdom, or weakness." Evocative and true.

[@hitha4725]

I just finished watching midnight mass, it was absolutely amazing. if I had known it was created by Mike Flanagan I would have watched sooner. It was so unique, telling a vampire story revolving around religion. I would be intrigued to watch a video on your take on the series

[@palanfuiniel]

I really loved your video. I don't know if this comment will be seen, but I wanted to weigh in as a life long Orthodox Christian. To me your essay was very emblematic of how Western Faiths see doubt as a failure or absence of faith. In the Eastern Church (and other faiths) Faith and Doubt are considered two sides of the same coin, and each essential to the other. Doubt without Faith leads to despondency and despair, while Faith without Doubt leads to fundamentalism and extremism. To Doubt is to think and reason as God intended, and Faith is trust in the unknowable mystery that is beyond what the mind can understand. They are each useful to the whole, but each detrimental in without the other. Anyway, I just wanted to add my two Orthodox cents. Again, loved the video!

[@michaelvincent7681]

This is really an excellent analysis. I could have watched another 25-35 minutes. Very well done. Extremely provocative!

[@StainsStainsStains]

The needles in the shoes still make me wince. The pain of that must be unreal.

[@finlockhart4572]

As a religious person, even though I'm not Christian, this video gave me some wonderful perspective and thoughts on the dark places that devotion can bring people sometimes. Very well written.

[@kingdomarc9]

Excellent video! I love watching in-depth dives of horror movies, mostly since I'm usually too scared to watch them myself. Also, as a lifelong atheist I'm always curious to hear about current or former religious experiences and perspectives, it's an entire dimension of the human experience I've never felt privy to. Looking forward to your upcoming videos!

[@SeoulSistaMegs]

Hahaha, same! I much prefer reading about horror than watching it. I do deep dives on Wikipedia and elsewhere to find out the plots without putting my anxiety through that. 😆

[@nachgeben]

I think what this movie really drives home for me, and only just as a subject, is how so many Christians don't realize... it's okay to question. It's okay to doubt. It's even okay to be angry with God. You're not denying His existence when you scream at Him. When you are pigeon-holed in this world-view of 'the Bible is absolute and if you question the Word, you're a sinner,' it causes a person to go insane. We're curious by nature. Of course, I'm Christian by choice. I was given information as a child but never had to go to church, was never forced to read the Bible, or say prayers before bed. I was given information with which I could do as I please, and even then, if among all that information, I had been told, 'This is what it is, and you can't ask questions, wait for God,' I wouldn't have made this choice. So even though she doesn't go to church either, she has fallen into the absolute mentality, and with preexisting mental issues that are spiking in their severity, it only made them worse.

[@mjolninja9358]

This is more of a magnificent Essay than a “video about horror” You deserve more views bruh, shared your video.

[@MegCazalet]

Amanda’s cancer beanies very much reminded me of halos.

[@danh7805]

another fantastic video. I actually watched this movie after I saw clip of the ending, and I definitely watched videos do deconstruct it, I'm not sure how I missed your channel because you make interesting, thought provoking videos. Thank you.

[@ruthielalastor2209]

You have such a talent for writing. Absolutely beautiful.

[@river8783]

As someone who grew up within a conservative Christian world and went to a private religious school for 12 years, the character of Maud was scarily realistic. The need for validation, moral superiority all while spitting on your fellow man, and even her taking these elements to the extreme reminded me of so many similar Mauds out there I grew up with. The most interesting choice in this movie to me is not showing her initial jump into this religion or showing a church she goes to or a community. She's basically brainwashed herself rather than an outside force doing the brainwashing like the Harga in Midsommar.

[@river8783]

Just wanted to add, I've been thinking about Maud's lack of community even more so since Midnight Mass came out, which centers on a Catholic community and discusses how faith can be weaponized by charisma and belief in not only a leader but one's own righteousness. Would love to see a comparison between Mass and Maud.

[@jaded5957]

This is the first video of yours I've seen and after just watching this film and looking for some feedback from others, yours makes so much sense and makes me appreciate it so much more. Great job.

[@amandamarks8087]

This video, like every video you put out, was excellent and I live for your releases! Definitely plan to check out patreon because I am too impatient!

[@ayelets9816]

This video is EXCELLENT - your insights are so profound, I am in awe of your ability to analyze details in these films so deeply and articulate them in a way that just makes *sense*. Thank you for your content.

[@muanjolina]

this is one of my favorite film analysis i've encountered on YT. like, this is graduate thesis level shit. i'm very impressed and you made me see the film with even more depth than it already had for me, as a former catholic who's nonetheless obsessed with faith and its manifestations. thanks for that. subbed.

[@edwardoneil7093]

I watched Annihilation and The Dead Don't Die because of how much I liked your Midsommar and Lighthouse videos. Keep going!

[@Emiloid]

Great video as always Nathan, I'm really intrigued to check this film out now! Incidentally, I've been reading The Satanic Bible by Anton Szandor LaVey, and he heavily criticizes this precise masochism that characterizes a lot of people's Christianity. Basically there's a certain point when the pain and extreme abstinence become an indulgence, and are more about one's ego than the good of anyone else. I also like what you pointed out about how it's hard, near impossible even, to pin the "objective" God, and it goes to show that people will always take who they are into their religion, rather than having the religion change who they are. Naturally, someone who is filled with self-hate would project a God who prescribes self-torture. I'm sure you've got a lot of other projects on your plate, but I'm wondering if you're planning to explore more psychological horror films in the future, like Black Swan?

[@AcolytesOfHorror]

Thanks, Emily! That book def sounds right up my ally. I am for sure often drawn to psychological horror, so yeah that'd be a safe bet. As for Black Swan, I did actually do a shorter vid on how Aronofsky structures the catharsis in Black Swan, Requiem for a Dream, and mother! in ways that are pretty directly inspired Greek Tragedy, but I do still get a lot of Aronofsky requests so maybe I'll have to do more of a deep dive one of these days

[@FunkSoulBrother7]

I don't think Amanda was a saint. Even though she recognized how lonely and mentally unhealthy Maude was, she still belittled her instead of reciprocating compassion.

[@zouzli395]

Oh god I’m happy I’ve found your KZbin channel: spot on niche.

[@ughugh5611]

She reminds me of my mom and it’s the saddest part of the movie for me

[@evej8355]

love this movie and your review

[@sheenabaharudin]

This commentary of yours is incredible. Made me love the movie so much more and it got me thinking about my faith and the world, and most importantly, the idea of Divine Love. Thank you for this!

[@ImrdIstt.SH.]

Ohhhhhh I'm so ready!!! This was an excellent movie, A24 does it yet again

[@MyRobin38]

it's clearly seen that in these times there appear to be many Saint Mauds out there who BELIEVE God's plan for them is to eliminate the ones THEY deem "EVIL". "Faith" has become a tool of Power rather than a lesson for being and doing good. They "choose" what God wants them to do, rather than what God really wants them to become.

[@abbypierce4196]

I am excited to hear your take on this! I can shamelessly say I usually listen to analysis on horror movies before watching them. 😅

[@googleoogle]

a misunderstanding of the ideal point of closed captions is present. non audio audiences will not get the same video out of this wonderful analysis

[@AcolytesOfHorror]

Fixing that today, just kinda let the bot do its thing when I initially uploaded. Thanks

[@autumn_vasch]

when you find another youtuber you watch is also 'i went to a christian school and also church 3 days a week'. that did fine that did great that didn't mess us up at all ammirite

[@AcolytesOfHorror]

lol yeah there's a lot of guilt and frustration there, but for me at least, I learned a lot of good things too. A lot of those people really did and do love me a whole lot. Very complicated time in my life to unpack

[@sadrequiem]

What a good video. It's clear to see how personal this movie can be for people, depending on their relationship with religion and Christianity. As an ex religious fundamentalist I could understand Maud's thoughts and motivations. That "total devotion" rhetoric can be devastating in a broken mind.

[@archandia]

this was the perfect motivation to finally sit down and watch this movie! fantastic video as always, as someone who grew up with very evangelical family (like, i'd bet dollars to donuts one of my great-somethings has that billy graham footage on tape) i definitely felt a connection with the theme of failure to live up to "the plan." it all coalesces into a story of how something that can be a positive guiding force can go horribly, horribly wrong, and you did a great breakdown as usual!

[@jas.a7762]

You are doing a great job! I like the tone, mood, and style of your videos. Well done.

[@AcolytesOfHorror]

Thank you!

[@JunguianPhantom]

This video really made me think about my own faith and perspective. Definitely it enters on my top 3 favorite videos of all time, it was a profound experience

[@lifescansdarkly]

Just wanted to reflect how the majority of comments here are very thoughtful mini-paragraphs. That's not the norm. You're building something special over here in this corner of the internet!

[@lindseycole6798]

Happy to see ya put out another video :)

[@AcolytesOfHorror]

:)