Sam Kinison - If Jesus Had A Wife - Insanely Funny!!!

[@scotmandel6699]

I had the privilege of seeing Sam perform once in the 80s. Best night ever. RIP Sam Kinison. You were one of a kind and you are missed.

[@starrchild6755]

Me too, in Palm Beach. He had every laughing so much. I loved the after your dead experience. Such a funny man! 💙💯😂

[@logic45audio]

How does a guy find peace when he trashed the only God that could give peace.

[@starrchild6755]

@@logic45audio my Dad was a Preacher. He always had a hard time doing the funeral for a non believer, & worse ...one that believed but turned away. I always find it hard to say RIP when I am pretty sure they're going to hell. But God is the Judge. Sam being a former Preacher, wasn't anti- Christian. He joked about the Bible but I grew up in a family full of Preacher's & Christian's. Once my Dad put " Remember Lot's wife" under the clock at the back. God did give us a sence of humor. God will judge him, so I wouldn't dwell on it.

[@jackiebernard9873]

Same here! With Rodney and Steven Wright! The 80's were awesome! I also saw Eddie live after he made Delirious on tour , that was great too. I wasn't big Dice fan though alot of people were. I loved Carlin the best.

[@starrchild6755]

@@jackiebernard9873 I saw them, saw Carlin, and my favorite most surreal was Robin Williams. I was front row sitting next to Christy Brinkley & Billy Joel. I miss the comedy clubs. I barely recognized A.Dice in " A Star is Born" . I saw a few that went to movies. Lots of talent out there!!😂💯😂

[@johnbertrand7185]

His yelling schitck was just flavor. His material was genuinely funny. The screaming was his version of an exclamation point.

[@thenny6600]

Screaming is what made it funnier though cause his voice goes to that kind of pitch.

[@johnyoung3397]

And the fry. It's the pit h and the fry

[@thenny6600]

@@johnyoung3397 yes absolutely

[@guitargentmick-tv8424]

He had the best scream tone. Totally in control.

[@shutterbug_713]

I crack up when he yells!

[@DEATHPHOMET]

“DISCIPLES MY ASS! THEY’RE LOSERS!!!”. Literally gets me every time.

[@cjturner370]

Same

[@lealandrayford]

😂🤣😂🤣

[@sweetsalvation7143]

And we wonder why he died tragically 😒

[@lealandrayford]

@@sweetsalvation7143 WOW damn it's just comedy lol you must be an angry believer lol

[@sweetsalvation7143]

@@lealandrayford the only reason people make fun of Christ Jesus is because they know That He commanded all his followers not to be violent but instead preach and walk in love as He did. The final judgement belongs to him alone. That's not the case for Muslims and we know that.

[@AzerPaul]

“Because I missed you, Honey!” That cracked me up big time. :)😂

[@kristofftaylovoski60]

Sam actually articulates some complex and deep Christian theology about the Risen Christ, misplacing the keys to hell and bargaining with death to get his soul back...This is priceless.

[@michaelmccoy1794]

Interesting. I suppose we should expect nothing less from somebody like Kinison with a background in ministry--Baptist, wasn't it?

[@vnosike]

That man was a total fool

[@chadwickwright2833]

@@vnosike Oh yeah? Did u know him? No? Then shut the fuck up.

[@chadwickwright2833]

He was actually a preacher for a good bit.

[@DionTheMusician]

Because he was first a pastor, a preacher. That's how he knows!

[@applejacks971]

Listening to his sermons when he was a preacher, you're always waiting for the punch line. He'll always be a legendary comic!!

[@CamaroAmx]

He had the same delivery but the content was about god instead of jokes and no comedy.

[@TheTwick]

They can steal his jokes but NOBODY CAN STEAL THAT DELIVERY!

[@Kimikikat]

I read that in Kinnison 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@frankvasquezrules]

OhHHHHHH!!!!

[@aaronflowers8881]

Nobody wants to

[@vincentbriegel7038]

You got that right

[@pamblaydes7973]

Or the laugh!

[@SirSmoldham]

I was not only lucky enough to party with this man, but he was a youth preacher in my home town. I really miss his genius.

[@AlchemicalForge91]

How was that lol

[@dengueberries]

youth preacher? do tell !!!!

[@randymillhouse791]

So your youth teacher got you high?

[@KB-ke3fi]

@@dengueberries yeah..he was a preacher. Do you have the ability to look it up?

[@chriswendschlag1856]

His father was a pastor of the church.

[@cmjohnson61]

Sam has done different variations of this routine. I love the one where he says that Jesus would have came home and found his Cross and everything out in the yard.

[@Psybo]

😂😂😂

[@luiso.9103]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@madeincanada29]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I just laughed SOOOOO hard, tears running down my face at "his cross out in the yard".

[@cmjohnson61]

@@madeincanada29 , Because you can picture it. Even Mrs. Jesus would have had her limits.

[@cruesteele15]

i legit "LOL"

[@roberthuot7887]

He is risen, he has truly risen. GOD bless you all.

[@JF32304]

Yep, and sits at the right hand of the Father.

[@jeepliving1]

I think Sam's version makes a lot more sense.

[@jamescrawford9643]

I've met Sam a few times and he was quite a pleasant person. RIP with my smile Sam!

[@charliedee9276]

Saw him in the late 80's out west, I had never laughed so hard in my life. I remember seeing this bit the first time, I was crying I laughed so hard. This entire show was one of his best, I think it the Breaking all the Rules show. I just watched this twice, again laughed so hard I cried. RIP Sam, you were one of a kind.

[@johnskaggs1760]

Gone way to soon. One of the best.

[@shutterbug_713]

And I can't stop crackin up when he yells! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@writingmaster3008]

I loved jesus too

[@abrahemsamander3967]

I think I’ve found a comedian to binge. This was absolutely hillarious! Some of the best delivery I’ve seen!

[@grandesgraveyard]

“Glad you could find your way home savior” 😂😂😂

[@MichaelD8393]

"Where's your 12 friends who won't get a job, HUH, _WHERE THEY AT?!_ Yeah, disciples my ass, they're *_LOSERS!"_* 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@milotorres6894]

Got to see him w/ girlfriend at the 87 performance MGM currently Bally's to short he was hilarious him and Bobcat Goldwaite RIP Sam you were the comedic genius Bible thumper helped keep crazy shiza in perspective always for religious nuts....

[@vanguard4065]

“I don’t need this shit.”

[@juanjamison6696]

Damn

[@dreamepiphany9093]

Jesus was a Roman.

[@momcatx2]

My friends and I used to recite this routine all the time. ❤ Good times.

[@theaviator1152]

I WAS DEEEEEEAAAAAAAD! ...with laughter at this video!

[@marcoevans2155]

Yep. I died when he said that. Brilliant

[@flippy101mph9]

yeah that was terrible

[@RPGyourLIFE]

No but like I seriously couldn't breathe

[@HPLAR_AIJEM]

. . . 🦗

[@upandaljm]

Aw Sam, we need you sooo much now.

[@cjturner2008]

We so do

[@magsteel9891]

Sam and Patrice O'Neill. It sucks they are gone.

[@jackiebernard9873]

When i was 18 me and a bunch of friends got a bar trip up to Atlantic City from Philly and rented a bus to see Rodney Dangerfield, Sam Kinison and Steven Wright. What a show!! Laughed my ass off! Its a shame Sam didn't live that long, at least he lived long enough to see himself make it big!

[@sgshumblecrumb6046]

That line up is ridiculous

[@hxhdfjifzirstc894]

@@sgshumblecrumb6046 That was back when America was Great. Now, all we got is Amy Schumer and Jimmy Kimmel.

[@slaphead8835]

Beyond brilliant. No one could touch him. He owned the stage. Truly hysterical.

[@alsdyall]

Imagine Sam Kinison and Alex Jones in an argument.

[@jacobgarz8970]

Legend says they’re the same person

[@danyxt250]

The Alex Jones of comedy..

[@kamalmanzukie]

actually, alex jones is a chimera of sam kinison and bill hicks

[@DorvellTStewart]

Alex Jones would be annihilated; Sam actually makes sense.

[@ProudKansan08]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@dylansmith4046]

I still turn on this album every year or two for a great laugh this guy was the best comedian too ever do it for a few years

[@michaelmccoy1794]

That's how you know it's golden--repeated viewing doesn't disappoint 👏

[@larrycheek3588]

What's the album?

[@1sotheary]

Carlos Mencia stole the "If Jesus had a wife" joke from Sam.

[@dragoninthewest1]

I'm not surprised

[@blacksheepsquadron6189]

Jesus always called the church his wife

[@brendanprimus3211]

carlos mencia stole everything from everyone

[@GMOTP5738]

What jokes hasnt he stole 🤣

[@alexf.6521]

who's carlos?

[@matteotavone4552]

"I don't need this shit..." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@MikeBlitzMag]

As a Christian with multiple degrees in theology, I found this very amusing (and in fact, Kinison was once a preacher himself). Indeed, "Mrs. Jesus" drew the most likely conclusions that someone in her position might draw. And while the words Jesus Himself used were, "Father, if if be Your will, let this cup pass from Me", who indeed could blame him for being a bit out of sorts after enduring torture like that? But I and many others are grateful that he did. I am also grateful to Sam Kinison for putting his unique spin on it.

[@roseymalino9855]

She drew most likely conclusions? How so? What behavior or activities were in his background to lead her to those 'likely conclusions'?

[@charleskuckel3173]

I remember when I first heard that routine. Insanely hysterical THEN and JUST as good now.

[@Tommyfazz]

A screaming bore

[@cjturner2008]

So True Can't stop laughing

[@vickistopherd8134]

I don't find him funny or talented.

[@didididuh]

Sam always knew how to put things in perspective.

[@kellienicolebrooksschettin6598]

I saw this live back HBO and Showtime were 3 seconds apart playing the same movies and comedy specials carolines comedy club,funny as heck Sam was but he was spot on with truth about how it went down if Jesus was married,priceless,where's your 12 friends ,the ones that won't get jobs,there losers there using u...omg....perfect...Sam's dad was a preacher...good Sam was doing his best to help out his fellow man,or as Sam says prevent people from getting married....thanks good stuff,this was the bit that really started me being a true fan of Sam's...I was Rollin on the floor,specially when he gets to the part about Jesus telling his wife that he rose from the dead,she might believe that one,good luck....

[@philipharned944]

Kellie Nicole Brooks Schettino. Sam was a preacher before he was a comedian.

[@BastardX13]

A unique, comedic Fury. Saw him twice, here in Michigan. Rockstar performances. Pryor, Dangerfield, Kinison. Untouchable.

[@KB-ke3fi]

and Ron White

[@lagaman11]

Kinison ws in Beast Mode man! What an amazing comic. Gone too soon. RIP.

[@bobdobalina838]

Im in tears this is so funny. Actually, whenever I need a good laugh lately, Ive been watching this. So funny (and Im a christian! I think God has a sense of humour too! :) RIP Sam you brililiant nutter.

[@JL-sm6cg]

The world NEEDS this guy today!

[@aaronrozzell3322]

Hell nah that shouting bit is so annoying 🙄

[@camt603]

@@aaronrozzell3322Shut up karen

[@christophercarey3232]

I'd like to see him in a Screaming match with Hate preacher Greg Locke if he were still alive.

[@ecando54]

This builds my faith in some weird way! Love you Sam!

[@geraldspencer8679]

I love Sam's set up for each of his jokes. Where he starts calm and a few seconds later he just loses his shit. 😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣

[@shutterbug_713]

1:34 and on: The BEST part! 😂 I can't stop crackin up at him yellin!

[@chilliecheesecake]

@Mike Harrigon This is why you dont get drunk and post comments on youtube

[@danmartins5198]

Not that I ruined your weekend honey but I was DEEEEEAAAAAD!!! I CANT BREATHE 😂😂😂

[@coachd49]

Freaking hilarious. One of the greatest comics of all time.

[@timothym.salley3602]

What an incredible talent gone way too soon R.I.P. Sam Kennison

[@Brooklyn_Powers]

Back in the 80s my brother and I were down in Hollywood and went to the Comedy Store and he was on one of the stages doing his act. He was so funny and quick witted. I still remember a joke he made about a couple that got up to leave before the show was over. It was so funny even the people that the joke was about, couldn't help but laugh. R.I.P. Sam, you were great.

[@vincentbriegel7038]

Sam Kinison was the real deal and the funniest guy ever to step in front of a microphone 😂😂😂

[@highsierra0512]

No, Mrs. Jesus wasn't mad at him going missing for three days, she was mad at him because, having return from the grave, she'd then have to return the benefits from his life insurance policy.

[@betsybarnicle8016]

No - "Where's the milk? I asked you to pick up milk."

[@willieholmes1483]

LFOL!

[@mykestrada]

@@betsybarnicle8016 All they had was 2% goats milk dear. Please dont crucify me!

[@poosspooss]

MyKoL LoKyM many people on earth love much money, not only jews

[@LVScooter1]

That's so true. Shs would think fuck he has nine lives. I'm screwed.

[@MrHousecup]

“I missed ya, honeyyyy!”

[@zigzagz_8423]

You hungry 🍥🤺

[@VoiceOfTheEmperor]

This guy died the year I was born...I missed him and didn't even know it... Truly a legend.

[@sgtpepper1138]

It sucks, he was sober and was getting his shit together and dies on a desert road in a car accident. I had the news clipping from our local paper for ages, I might still somewhere, I was 11 and a big fan.

[@fulcanelli8352]

This album was one of the best ever. First time I just heard the cassette. My ribs hurt for days!

[@mikekaatman3194]

He used to be a travelling preacher doing tent revivals and such...hence his style.

[@alancantu2557]

Hopefully now he’s making jokes with the man upstairs, you’re missed Sammy 💔

[@lucaswickiser6874]

@Eric No name highly likely if you read about what his last words were just before he died.

[@lucaswickiser6874]

@Eric No name he died peacefully after the car accident. God or an angel told him it was time to go. He was talking to somebody “unseen” according to his brother. He at first didn’t want to die, but after conversing with whoever it was, he went peacefully. Also, who are you to say “highly doubtful”? Have some respect for the dead.

[@frederickblackwell9960]

The Heavy Metal comic legend, the late and great Sam Kinison.

[@scottchavez1688]

The look on his face when he said" Wait a minutre, i better go back because she doesnt know where ive been"....😂

[@scottnixon9367]

By far one of the greatest comedians ever!!

[@scottduyser1222]

I saw Sam in 88 in Chicago.. To this day I have never laughed harder in my life.... Classic Sam.

[@madmojo-ou2pz]

Remember when comedians could tell edgy jokes and no one would shit their pants ? Pepperidge farm remembers

[@BrokenGodEnt]

There are some edgy comedians who get away with it. Anthony Jeselnick is probably the biggest example of straight up dark humor that got by without too much backlash.

[@danduryea]

+madmojo 1999 - "Remember when you hit that pedestrian at the crosswalk, and then just drove away?"

[@madmojo-ou2pz]

@@danduryea I was too drunk to remember,

[@Zero_Ninety]

Laughing at Jesus? Trump supporters would go crazy if someone made this joke now.

[@TT-ch2pz]

Remember when your yearbook wouldn't come back to haunt you 30 years later?

[@wheelz23]

I have this on my Have you seen me lately album which is an absolute gem. Miss this guy.

[@ichhasseamerika]

Man, where are people this funny today?

[@vanceoverstreet4182]

You.can't do that today people are thin skinned. Pussy's

[@davejan744]

Vance Overstreet , That comes from the demanazi concept of being "Politically Correct" Which IS a mental disorder. Cripple a persons mind so they cant deal w reality & you can control them like mindless sheep. I.E. More democrats....

[@michaelmarshall1713]

Well we got PC and the USA elected Obama twice and that was the end of having a sense of humour!

[@davejan744]

Michael Marshall , Add Obastard only won because of demanazi vote rigging. But thats how demanazies win ANY election. CHEATING!!

[@michaelmarshall1713]

After visiting the USA in May I saw what had taken place due to neglect and keeping the people in Chaos.@@davejan744

[@christiangottsacker6932]

When he yelled "I WAS DEEAD!!" I busted out laughing at the beginning of a cough, turned coughing fit that was still me laughing.

[@metalheaddaddy79]

RIP Sam You're very missed. Say Hi to George

[@utterlyviolet]

And Rodney.

[@unicommerce6912]

@@utterlyviolet and Bill

[@georgehahn6149]

And Don and Richard

[@richardkaltenbach3961]

And Also Chris Farley, John Belushi, Richard Pryor, John Candy, And Rodney Dangerfield!

[@jackiebernard9873]

I saw him with Rodney two greats!!

[@sagedakotalmft7763]

So funny. His delivery kinda reminds me of Farley's "You're gonna end up in a van down by the river!!!" skit on SNL

[@freud2253]

Sam you were one of a kind and are sorely missed.

[@V3RYG00D]

Absolute legendary. No question

[@michellefields1693]

Thank you so much for reminding us that comedy used to be funny. Laughed my ass off.

[@alexpastor8582]

comedic genius! that's Sam Kinison!!!

[@johnilyemson]

She'd still say, "well, you could have at least sent a pigeon."

[@jamescwolf]

Sam Kinison is a comic GENIUS! Unparalleled!

[@darko714]

That was brilliant on more than one level.

[@myronersteniuk5805]

His twisted sense of humor was second to none ! We miss you Sam RIP 😓

[@wisam111]

Damn what a legend and I love that he almost started laughing mid joke

[@grinch1963]

We so need Sam today 😔.

[@bobdobalina838]

I love how he can't help but laugh at 01:42. U r missed buddy. Better days.

[@jeblack3407]

What makes this more than funny, he was a former Pentecostal preacher.

[@mikehabic6314]

Sam was f'ing hilarious!....I don't recall how old I was when it was me, my 3 brothers, and my mom, watching a show of his. I'm talking a llllooonnnggg time ago...After I finish this comment, I gotta try to find the joke he did that had me in tears laughing.... It should be easy to find......Jesus' last words 😂😂😂😂😂

[@robertbyington7715]

Brilliant then Brilliant now just like Carlin their humor never gets old!

[@mumbles215]

Carlin was G-d less tho.

[@tims4694]

A classic routine. I sure miss him. RIP Sam.

[@Forysan]

For me, it wasn't the screaming that made me laugh so much as the buildup to it. As someone else commented, it was Kinison's version of an exclamation point.

[@dschinella]

A man of God, he just put it all out there. God Rest His Soul. Truly loved JESUS til his last breath practically. 🙌🙏

[@AApr1374Jo1881]

The 17 yr old drunk dude that killed Sam in a head on collision only got a slap on the wrist. Zero jail time, Just community service & probation. Ridiculous

[@LilMissSmartyPants.922]

vince niel of motley crew killed a couple people and crippled one for life drinking and driving and got off scott free

[@mcarlkv53]

Testimony - Between the ages of 15-25 I was a bum, alcoholic, fornicator, adulterer…Couldn’t do nothing in life and had a lazy work ethic…Was a stand-up comedian for 2 years because I saw Sam Kinison perform and I felt I related to him and tried to emulate him in my life. I did. Fornication, adultery, filthy mouth, etc… I appeared in comedy clubs in Philadelphia and South Florida. I was performing at a club where Franklin Ajaye was the headliner and Brian Regan was the opening act. I was one of the other six comedians on the bill that night. I thought I was on my way to fame and fortune. A few years later Sam Kinison died and that “rocked” my world. I thought man if he could die like that (suddenly) who am I? All of my heroes were dead now - Moe, Larry, Curly, Ronnie Van Zant, Elvis Presley, etc..Now, Sam Kinision. I realized that life is futile and fleeting and fame and money will not save you in that hour of death… Eventually I realized I was a sinner in the hands of a Holy God. I had broken all of the TEN COMMANDMENTS and there was no hope for my soul. I was guilty. One Sunday night in 1992 instead of watching football or the tv show Married with Children I went to Church and heard an evangelist preach and I knew God was speaking to me through his son Jesus Christ. (Romans 10:13 - For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved) Well, I called upon Jesus to save me, and I was at that same instant. All of the pain and heartbrokeness that I experienced in my life left me. Almost like invisible weights that held me down my whole life left me and I have not been the same since. That same peace and joy can be yours if you let Jesus save you as well.

[@202AMERICA]

OMG...I'm going to HELL for Laughing at THIS !

[@michaelangeloright9394]

Gone to soon. RIP Sam Kinison

[@WilliePeoples-hd4ez]

I was dead!!! 😂😂😂

[@JosephDeFalco]

I remember seeing Sam on TV for the first time and I was like, "Who the F' is this guy"? I was floored, totally taken by his comedy and routine. Tried to see him live but never succeeded. Huge fan then and now. What a shame, he died way too soon.

[@stone1andonly]

Often imitated, but never duplicated. Countless comics have used his material, but there is only one Sam Kinison (and always shall be).

[@dogsenseforu301]

Genius. Keep watching him anywhere I can find him, repeats - usually one says smartphones ruin things but IF ONLY they'd been available back then.

[@veronicazawodniak9412]

God bless him...he was the best!

[@BobABooey.]

Still amazing 30 plus years later.

[@johnstriker480]

Take THAT , the "da vinci code" xD

[@beckykent6674]

We saw him in person twice and he was soooo funny! Wish he was still here!😅😅

[@seanmurphy1946]

What’s even funnier is he was actually an ordained minister. He was one funny guy!!!

[@MastaSmack]

Yeah, I think you can become one for 20 bucks.

[@jamesbizs]

So am I. What’s your point?

[@seanmurphy1946]

j p you don’t expect that from an ordained minister

[@stlchucko]

He wasn’t just an ordained minister. He used to be a preacher of Christianity.

[@utterlyviolet]

Sean Murphy It just means the man knew what he was talking about. His religious routines wouldn't have packed the same wallop if he wasn't a minister first.

[@vincentbriegel7038]

The absolute funniest comedian of my generation

[@christopherdunn317]

NOW THAT WAS FUNNY !

[@betsybarnicle8016]

I'm an ordained minister, and I think this was funny. He did say "if" Jesus were married, and he acknowledged that He wasn't. But if he had been....ya, "Where have YOU been? with those losers!?" HA!

[@mel3760]

Betsy Barnicle where is this establishment, I won’t call it a church, but where is it that you allegedly minister? This is good information to know so I know to never set foot in there

[@rickiovine2170]

What a great bit. He had the right background for the topic!

[@aronilaia8055]

Those who believe in God should never make any jokes about God.

[@petebrown3715]

Classic bit!!

[@JankoDeGraaf]

Peter Brown hello Peter Brown. My name is Peter Brown

[@elliottpaine9259]

bc i missed ya honey!!!! lol, years later realizing why my dad liked his comedy so much. over my head as a kid.

[@jm-rf7kl]

Audacious -no one could really top Sam Kinison.

[@vitorfilipe21]

One of the best comedy bits of all time.

[@redrooster1908]

I have this on DVD. Good stuff.

[@easyriderrider4580]

Sam Kinison... The Greatest Comedian of All Time... God Bless you, Sam... 😉😊☺️😊😎😎😎😎😎😎👆👆👍👍👍👍🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻

[@roddydykes7053]

When I read how he died I have a bit more respect for his legacy. I looked at his size and figured it was drugs and diet that killed him via heart attack at a young age, but being killed by a drunk driver is so much more tragic because it couldn’t have been predicted or prevented by you. Damn

[@mines_emblemierr4895]

Hey editor person, idk when you started doing it, but I really appreciate you putting links to the full episodes in the description. Love you thankssss 😘😘😘

[@sidefx996]

Sam was an absolute treasure

[@ShellSmashed]

Holy mother of bits. What a dog of comedy. This guy knew how to do it. The GOAT of comedy.

[@ScoutPL]

most of these commenters don't seem to get the point.

[@mel3760]

Dave Newman no we get the blasphemous point. And he’s paying for it now