HOW I OVERCAME MY EATING DISORDER

[@camillat984]

I have bulimia and every sing word you just said completely aligned with my story and made total sense to me. The "it hurts" part really really got me. I have been in recovery for 2 years but I can't always afford therapy so it's back and forth a bit but this has motivated me to make it a priority again - I got married last week so naturally it got very hard in the few months before the wedding with all the pressure which is put on brides to look a certain way. Love you so much Sam, this was such a raw and honest video but gave me so much hope!

[@eleh7]

Congratulation on your wedding :) I'm sure you look wonderful in your wedding dress!

[@suehan88888]

Sending love and hugs to you! 🌻❤

[@esikazemese]

You look beautiful the way you are hun and your health is the most important! Anyone judging your body or look can fuck off! I hope you get through this and you can leave it behind ❤️

[@teresamesa]

about the commenting on someone's weight: i 100% agree with you. people should ALWAYS refrain from commenting, unless the other person is baiting for compliments. i had one accidental weightloss and people kept telling me how much better i looked and how gross my body was before. did they think that helped? luckily i was already in a body positivity mindset and i didn't take any of it to heart, but imagine if i did. i've heard everything from complimenting people with severe mental health issues who stopped eating for weeks to complimenting people with cancer. it's so ugly and uncalled for.

[@laylag76]

God I feel this so strongly! I have never tried to actively lose weight, because I don’t think I need to and am happy and healthy as I am. But whenever I accidentally do, certain family members always ‘congratulate’ me and say how great I look now. I really do get that they think they’re just being nice, but it upsets me so much and makes me start to doubt my initial confidence in my body. I really struggle with dealing with this kind of scenario because it ends up being quite hurtful to me.

[@kirtikarja]

i had the exact same thing. i lost a lot of weight from being sick for a few months and everyone (esp family) were praising me even tho the only reason i lost weight was because i physically couldn't eat much. it became really hard once i had got well again and ppl still expected me to be making that crazy weightloss. still affects me a few years on and they bring it up when i gain weight that i have the potential to lose it. :///

[@jbnks1995]

SAME! I lost 40 pounds when I realized I was lactose intolerant and cut it out and everyone was complimenting. Even like tables at my job and I was like sheesh, was I a whale before or something?

[@teresamesa]

it sucks. one of my relatives was severely mentally ill and lost a lot of weight in the process of switching meds. people went from complimenting her on her weightloss to telling her she had to stop losing weight, telling her to eat more, etc. there's nothing better than keeping quiet. even if they have an ed, they thrive on that kind of attention. it doesn't help.

[@fannygustafson9220]

So true. I was a chubby child when I got anorexia and even grown ups gave me compliments för weightloss when I wasn't in hospital. I was 11 when I got sick so that's really messed up. People don't seem to understand that compliments for weightloss can contribute just as much to eating disorders as negative comments.

[@HollyLoooovesZurich]

Things you've done right: 1. You've reached out and admitted you'll need help (SO HUGE!) 2. You've got yourself a partner you trust and helped you finding someone who can help YOU. 3. You're STRONG because you didn't let it go one for years and years I luckily don't struggle with an eating disorder but struggle a lot with anxiety and depression. And I love the fact that Jason didn't try to fix you himself because he knew, a partner can only be there for you and support you but getting through and overcome these things need professional help.

[@priscilletheault6982]

I like and appreciate the first two points of your comment, but I have an issue with the third one. It is implying that someone who let it go for years is weak, and that is definitely not the right message to pass on, especially on that type of video. I am sure it isn't what you meant, but phrasing is quite important on these topics.

[@HollyLoooovesZurich]

You’re right, it wasn’t perfectly phrased from me. I don’t want to imply someone who it takes longer to ask for help is weaker. I said it like that, because I felt she was almost apologetic in the video, because for her it was „only 6 months“. Thank you for writing, it really is important to know, no one‘s weaker because it takes longer to ask for help. ❤️

[@EsmeCarr]

Well done for covering such a tricky difficult subject and so happy for you reaching a better place x

[@SamanthaMaria]

London Afro Vegan Recipes thanks soo much xx

[@Simonendmam]

Besides the point but this hair is popping

[@The.Caroline]

I wouldn’t say I’ve had an eating disorder, but I’ve definitely always struggled with food, self confidence and weight. The past few years I’ve lost some weight and it honestly kind of pisses me off when people comment on it, because I don’t like talking about it and I don’t want their "validation" now that I’m a little bit skinnier. I don’t know if that makes a lot of sense, but it’s so true what you said about never knowing why or how someone is losing or gaining weight

[@charleyjai_uk]

Sam, I take my fake hair off to you for being so candid with your personal experience and I, for one, can see you're coming from a genuine place of wanting to positively encourage others. This video is great!! Thank you x

[@alaynaself15]

This had me tearing up at certain points, mainly because I think being a girl at our age (20-23) and being subject to the culture of apps like Instagram in our youth, we were so susceptible to these exact feelings, I remember doing the same sorts of things and becoming obsessive about my body and comparing myself constantly, I really hated myself at certain points, and felt constantly so insecure, and looking back I actually looked so good, I looked healthy and small and I realize how terribly feeding into that kind of "skinny" culture had affected my self-image. I've also been following you since almost the beginning of your channel and I never knew this about you, so I just wanted to say thank you for sharing something that is so difficult to talk about. you weren't alone at all.

[@jessiem7527]

Sam I am crying watching this. I went through the exact same thing with my boyfriend at the time (in 2012, feels like another lifetime) and panicked I wasn't good enough or that he would find someone else smaller than me. It set off a feeling I still can't explain and very quickly my intention to slim down and lose a few pounds escalated into becoming scared of food and scared of gaining any weight at all. I quickly lost weight over a few months and became so tired and almost lifeless, desperate for some sort of acknowledge that I had made this change but with everything carrying on as normal I fell into a very lonely place. My parents stepped in and realised I had an issue with food, long story short the relationship ended and I gained the weight back but have never really discussed with anyone the emotions I went though, it all just seemed to be forgotten about. So thankyou for sharing and i appreciate this video more than i can say xxxxxx

[@4LifeAfter40]

Extremely brave of you Samantha to share this with the world. 💋

[@ellenrooms_writes9047]

Never struggled with my eating but went through depression and I remember not feeling like myself either... first like it wasn't happening at all and then that it was happening to someone else. I HATED myself and only got through it by talking to a therapist. That's so important!! Thank you for the video! The more we talk about it, the more people can find support.

[@ElleChi24]

Ellen - A Little Book Life yes, I went through very similar. I looked it up and it was something called depersonalisation.

[@larat767]

my mum lost over 30kg after just separating from my dad and she was so happy, but I knew she was just so stressed and only had a coffee and cigarettes all day. I knew she always wanted to be skinny, but how she got skinny was really scary. Thanks for speaking up!

[@nordette]

Did she keep the weight off after she felt better about the breakup with your dad

[@larat767]

nordette no she didnt, which proves just how unhealthy her life was at that time!

[@ej445]

“No energy to process emotions” - for entirely different reasons, I couldn’t relate more.

[@ayla994]

Jason is such a good man! I'm so glad you are with him

[@hannahemilyross]

I'm 12 mins in but just wanted to let you know I've watched your videos since 2011 and you're one the most genuine and beautiful people on here!♥ so much love for you sammi 💕xx

[@lydiamyers4858]

You look so healthy and happy now which I hope you feel the same and that’s what matters! It’s horrible to be in that mindset! What would be good for people is what to say and not what to say to people with eating disorders 💖

[@catharinabuch5920]

The little sister of my boyfriend suffered from bulimia too and I was the only one who knew it. I told her that I would be there for her, whenever she needed me and is ready for help. I was so relieved, when she said that she needed professional help. She went to a clinic for a few months and also lived in an assisted living after it. She’s now doing much better, but is still struggling with her body. When someone in her family is talking about a diet or that they are to big or something like this, she leaves so she doesn’t need to listen to it. I really appreciate it that you made this video and that you’re talking about your illness so openly. I’m so glad for you that you got over it and I hope that this video helps some of those who are dealing with an eating disorder. Love u 💖

[@PrimroseBigwood]

Really appreciate you making this! X

[@Ingridlosneslokken]

I really appreciate how you talked about this in your video. A lot of people share so much triggering details and pictures, but you understand that that's not what anyone need to hear. I've been struggling with an eating disorder for years now, and a video like this from you, really means a lot ❤️ you're soo incredibly beautiful on the inside and out!!

[@jbradley_]

Such a tactful way to discuss your experience with ED, thanks for stopping to think and cut out what you did/didn't eat, as I think that type of discussion is the most triggering, so thanks for being mindful and lovely as always. Lots of love x

[@mer521993]

honestly, been watching you since your rihanna make up tutorial that had lots of views. It makes me so sad thinking that ive been watching you for that long and you've gone through so much and we just don't know. not to say we need to know. but just know that we'll always support you. thank you for putting out this video. its never too late to put out this video.

[@nalinthalala6204]

Maybe more people like you on these social platforms just need to be more real. No one is perfect and this constant need to be accepted and being afraid of not being accepted is what fuels your own personal issues... this is the world we are in now.. everything so visual/ technology and in all up in our faces all the time... important to take a step back and remember life is precious , there is purpose to our lives that is more deeper and valuable than exterior and our looks... when it comes to your later years.. when life span is obviously less, you begin to see the beauty of life and it’s meaning.. you won’t care so much about how you look, you will want to be healthy, fit and strong to run the race of life... thanks for sharing 🙏🏽😘

[@acciokyuhyun]

thank you so much for this. i thought i was the only one who goes through their partner's following list on instagram and immediately feeling like shit/not good enough. thoughts like 'is this what he prefers' or 'i should look like this' definitely comes up. hearing it come from someone else really puts everything into perspective, like i didnt realise it was harming my mental state. so thank you

[@acciokyuhyun]

Missquichante yeah you’re right!! Thank you 🤯💖

[@niknak1399]

An example of purging is putting thick, sticky porridge in a plastic bag which will hardly move. When we eat, a valve in the stomach closes. No matter how much you purge, it won’t open and won’t come out. Purging also massively effects potassium, this can be extremely dangerous. I urge anyone with an eating disorder to get help. It’s one of the worth mental health disorders with the highest death rate. Thank you Sam for speaking out and raising awareness! Xx

[@tytytuar]

OMG Sammi, you really really helped me! I've just realised that i'm literally not the only one going though these kind of situations and it made me feel better. Obviously not feel better that there's other people feeling this way, but feel better because i know i am not alone. I honestly went trough the same stuff as you did and when i saw the girls my boyfriend has been following - i just started to feel that i am not good enough for him, so he needs to watch pictures with gorgeous girls because i can't fulfill his needs.. although he keeps telling me how much he loves me and my body.. It's hard for me to accept that i have an eating disorder and i need to go ask for help at some point. Thank you sooo, soo much! Much love and happines

[@kimmijane5187]

Thank you so much for this. I had a serious eating disorder for most of my childhood and teenage years. Ive been working on my health, both physically and mentally, as well as my relationship to food, for a few years now. Although I am improving, I am still not feeling 100% healthy and "myself" again. I have made a lot of progress but I still have a long way to go. I am so glad you had Jason to talk to, unlike many others, myself included, who had no one. I hope that myself and any other fellow sufferers out there get the help they need and reach a healthy and happy relationship with both body and food. Good luck and I am glad you have "come out the other side". This was so important and I am glad that you decided to put this content out there.

[@sianaskm]

This is the video I've been waiting for from you Sammi. Let me get me morning coffee ready ☕💛

[@missdance7810]

Openly expressing your struggle with an eating disorder and body dysmorphia is so inspiring for someone like me. Creating the conversation about the truth behind it I really admire your strength and helpful words. I have been in one year recovery since my eating disorder of 6 years and it has such a silent stigma to it for those who suffer from all types of it and deal with it everyday in recovery. Such positivity and honesty with your personal recovery Sam, THANKYOU xx

[@esikazemese]

I don’t understand how could people judge you for this, how can you judge anyone going through some kind of illness. I think it’s great that you did this, I always talk openly about my eating disorder. I wish you used more pics of how you looked like, what kind of people you were following compared to who you follow now. I think that would have been great :) And Im happy for your recovery!

[@alexandrahardy5129]

it’s so refreshing seeing someone talk about bulimia because it’s an eating disorder I never see anyone talk about online! thank you for this video :) I’ve had bulimia since I was 14 and I’m almost 21 now, it’s so hard and the NHS won’t help me they say I’m a ‘healthy weight’, and my family can’t afford to help me pay for private treatment :( I really hope I can one day get to the stage you are at now!

[@no1weasel]

Been watching you for years now and I'm so glad you made this video. Having struggled with an eating disorder myself I know how easy it is to suddenly get sucked into a cycle of restricting and not be able to get out. I don't think ,any people realise how damaging comments like 'you're looking so good, have you lost some weight' can be, they just fuel someone with an eating disorder to keep going. At the end of the day, weight is irrelevant as long as you're happy and healthy, people just shouldn't comment. Thank you for opening up and talking about your experience, really glad in your a good place now with your eating and I'm sure it will have really helped some people realise there is a way out of an ED :)

[@AnnaBourassa]

An eating disorder is tragic no matter how long or short it is. I’m glad you got help as fast as you did so you can spend the rest of your life happier and healthier 💕 I used to starve myself in high school and not eat until lunch after my PE class. Which a lot of my class did. I remember my teacher talking to us all (we were all girls) and said we already don’t eat for 8 hours of our sleep so we need to eat before school to fuel our minds and bodies until the next meal. After that talk I snapped out of it, thankfully. But I’m luckier to have been able to get out of that mindset with just that one indirect talk. The fact that it was a class discussion because she noticed we had no energy every day is sad. And we all never thought anything of it. I’m glad you had the courage to speak about this online. You were one of the first people I started following and watching on KZbin. You’re probably the realest KZbinr I watch. Much love ❤️

[@violetsdigest]

I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for posting this. I literally felt this way for such a long time with my last relationship and it drove me crazy. I thought I was the only one. I think you're extremely brave for sharing this because so many of us girls secretly feel this way and the internet tells us we are crazy, overreacting or some other form of gaslighting. I hope one day I can meet you! I just started accepting that I have an eating disorder and I'm also in the process of overcoming it.

[@Hanna4645]

My biggest mistake was going vegan because i thought vegans can eat anything and still be skinny. It was working for a while but then i started overeating so much, i ate until it was painful to my stomach. It was like i was missing something and food was filling me up until i was no longer empty. But i was empty only in my head. My friends recommended a therapist, I went once, she immediately said some type of eating disorder. However, I didn't go anymore. I actually felt offended because i don't see it as a problem, I'm just sad, maybe a bit lonely. Thanks for the video Sam, glad you've overcome the struggles, you always look great.

[@DANNYTHEFROG123]

barbs That is a bad misconception about veganism you still have eat in moderation.

[@shannonb5829]

Danyelle Jones I agree. You can’t blame what you ate on a certain type of diet. Either you do it or you don’t. That should never have gotten to a point of needing therapy. That’s absurd.

[@Thinkslikemakeup]

Thank you so much for sharing your story Sammi, I love to watch you and listen to you because I can often relate and learn something from you. For me I always grew up alittle chubby even as healthy as I ate. I started doing the same thing as you and literally only eating a few crackers and a cup of tea a day. I lost so much weight and I was finally skinny. I remember still not even thinking I was skinny and still considering myself fat, I remembered everyone loving my new “healthy” body I was even more attractive to men...my mental health was so screwed.. gosh what a sad time of my life. I was 105 then and now 5 years later I’m 150. I feel very confident and proud of my body because i no longer hate food, i no longer dread my appearance but yet for some reason my body is now considered fat/ over weight/ chubby to today’s society.... it’s so depressing because it’s like you never win. But I’m trying to take care of myself and be healthy and happy. I love you ❤️

[@drcynthianajones]

I think it’s incredible that you posted this. I struggled with an ED and really appreciate you posting this. You have been and will always be one of my favorite youtubers! Thank you so much.

[@TheIrinagales]

Samantha I really appreciate you sharing this story! I have never had an eating disorder, but I have had to get rid of my social media because I was constantly comparing myself to other people. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who felt this way.

[@GigiGigi44]

Great video - very sensitive and well-spoken. I am in recovery from a restrictive ED that overall lasted about a year where I got to a very low BMI. It began as a way to control one thing in my life as I felt I had no control over anything else (few friends, couldn't find a job, just finished school and didn't know what I wanted to do, home alone all day = depressed). Thing is, now that I am in recovery, I think people should be made aware of the many side effects that happen if you are in this state for a long time that I didn't know about before. Some for me were: 1) Half my hair fell out - this was after I started to recover but it is delayed. My body didn't have enough energy to go towards growing my hair I think 2) I was really cold all the time. My body couldn't regulate its temp. I think again because of no extra energy left in my body except to keep my organs going basically 3) My gums receded and became sore and bleeding. Gum recession is irreversible 4) I was incredibly irritable. That was hard for my family and I regret how I interacted with them at that time 5) I personally started to have a bit manic/obsessive thoughts about food - My thoughts would sometimes go really really fast 6) Low blood pressure 7) Dizziness 8) Overall felt like I had not much of my personality left (though this may have been more due to the depression)

[@Lisa-qt4hh]

Thank you for making a video on this topic Sammi! ♡ Eating disorders are very complicated. For me it started at a period in my life when a lot of things were unsure and it was a way to gain control. I was scared of change and it is scary how you don't really notice how your body changes overtime. Others began to notice and then I began to see I had to change my habits. I realized that while I thought I was in control I actually took contol away from my body because I didn't give it what it needed. Focusing on providing my body with the energy it needed really helped me. I think that looking back, my eating disorder was strongly related to my OCD and I'm curious if other people with OCD have also had an eating disorder.

[@rebeccamacpherson8820]

Thank you so much Sammi. I’m currently recovering from an eating disorder and this helped me so much to see that you can really move on in time x stay strong xx

[@eviewhite7924]

Really appreciate your bravery and sensitivity in making this video. Disordered eating is a topic that really should be discussed more openly, especially with young/ impressionable people, as it's so much more common than people realise. Have been battling with body image and food relationships for a while now and hearing somebody else's recovery story is always useful. All the love xxx

[@Dohayoussef]

Thank you so much for sharing this video! I had an eating disorder and body dysmorphia too. I get so emotional talking and thinking about it because for the longest time I thought it was normal. I thought that weighing every ounce of food was normal, I thought weighing myself everyday was normal, I thought ristricting was normal, binging was normal. When I did start seeing a psych, I remeber her telling me that I should stop weighing myself. It was the hardest thing, but also the best thing I ever did. I haven't weighed myself in over a year and I have been the happiest I've ever been. I was so afraid of gaining weight, it terrified me (sometimes it still does), but for a lot of people with eating disorders, the scale is the worst thing and is extremely triggering. I am so glad it's out of my life!

[@amywilson692]

Your so so brave, you dont understand how much I relate to this. When I would purge Id feel like im not actually doing it, and it think thats why it goes on for such a long time. You so so amazing and im so grateful for this video. Xx

[@danievankay878]

Thank you for this video! I've been struggling with an eating disorder myself and Lyme disease and because I could't find anyone to relate with I started my own youtube channel. I wish there were more people like you sharing their story!

[@jenaflor]

Honestly I didn’t realize I needed this, but watching this has definitely gave me a bit of peace and clarity… because I feel like I really need to seek professional help for my eating disorder.. or if I really do have it. But I appreciate you so much for putting yourself out there and letting us know what you’ve been through 🤍 your videos are always sucha light in my days ✨

[@michelescerri5740]

For someone who struggles with an eating disorder and body dysmorphia, basically, since I was a young teen, I managed to relate so much to everything you were saying. It's so nice to know that I'm not alone and that it can be overcome. Thank you, just what I​ needed xx So brave of you for sharing Sammi!!

[@martinadrago2020]

I've just watched one fourth of the whole video and suddenly started crying like a baby. Couldn't relate more to your words, as I am somehow still struggling with my body image. I was in an abusive relationship with a bodybuilder and almost had another relationship with a guy far more obsessed than me about food and how his body looks. I feel so drained that I stopped going to the gym, started binge eating again and feeling myself so miserable... Thanks for sharing this, you're helping and you don't even know how much!

[@SusanKnox10]

Thank you for making this! You’re such a strong young lady! Mucccch respect to you gurrrrrrrl ❤️❤️

[@chantalmattis3778]

sammi, i just love you. your soul is just so genuine and sweeeeeet. 💕

[@ellaboorman2832]

Just wanted to say this video is so important, it's so important to talk about stuff like this especially in the social media dominated society we live in, feel like you have properly spoken the truth and respect you so much, your words mirrored some of my own experiences and it was comforting to know other people have felt those feelings toooo, lots of love to you and glad you have moved on from it as much as you can!

[@estellemuzyczka2761]

You have forever been a great role model. This video is just another reason that you are so genuine and amazing. In a world where everything is so hidden and edited, it means so much that you always tell the truth. You are absolutely stunning inside and out!

[@thatpikething]

Go on girl :) Such an amazing thing to talk about! I suffered for 2 years before getting help and went from not given long to live to now being 4 years in recovery! I totally understand what it feels like to not be yourself and still struggle with being myself! Well done for speaking out about this! Its something that affects a lot of people! You should be proud of how far you've come :)

[@maybeido03]

I'm bulimic. And I did what you did, but mine lasted for more than 15 years. I'm 31 now and I'm still working on the thought part. I finally don't purge anymore. Thanks for sharing!

[@Japanerin_in_Oesterreich]

Her voice is very relaxing!

[@manamyst]

I think it's important to talk about it and you did it so gracefully Sammy! I'm glad to hear your story and how you manage to turn it around and get better. You are a great "role model" (not really trying to put pressure on you with this term, just encouraging you to keep making real content that people can relate too... Instagram isn't real life, social media can be such a good and bad thing in your life... This video is the example of the good side of social media, people together discussing real issues :)

[@ASMRstasnia]

I feel you so much on this video. Everything from comparing myself to the girls my boyfriend used to follow on Instagram, to chugging coffee to suppress my appetite, just to binge again and then feel terrible and not eat for even longer the next round. You don’t realize how dangerous and how out of your control it can get until your already there, it’s crazy.

[@maryellenmadigan6140]

Bravo to you Sam for shedding a light on mental illness(bulemia) and the stigma that still exists around it. More women need take your lead and unfollow anyone or anything that makes them feel insecure and bad about themselves. And talking things out with a trained professional is the best advice you gave.

[@sunshinebound944]

Thank you for sharing. Never minimize your experience and emotions! No matter how short a time, how much/little someone restricts/purges, your experience is valid and matters. I am sure this will help a lot of people. 💚

[@juliettec13]

There’s just one thing I want to say and it is a genuine thank you. It’s always good to see people giving importance to mental health problems because nowadays it is still treated as a “taboo” topic and I think we should all understand that it is more and more common and we need to do something, so thank you for speaking up! You’re always amazing girl x love youuu

[@FCM570]

Well done Samantha on being brave enough to post this. Been watching you forever, probably one of the first you tubers I found almost 7 years ago. I’m so sorry you felt like that. I have had similar issues, so this really hit home for me and appreciate you talking about this. Glad your feeling better girl your so amazing xx

[@shelleyrachelle6395]

You are such a brave woman ❤️ Thank you for sharing this vulnerable side of yours ✨🙏🏼🌺

[@SheilaPairADice]

Sammi, you're very brave to share this part of your life with us. Thank you so much for being transparent. I've followed you since you were and teen and I'm so proud of how much you've grown into womanhood. All the best to you and your family!

[@ksyushaxd]

Thank you Sammi. I recovered from BED a couple of years ago, had it for 5 years. If someone I followed at the time spoke about it, I'm sure I'd listen instead of suffering in silence

[@chloezealey5029]

I remember seeing the date night video of you in the black dress and being so worried about you. You've come SO FAR. As a long time subscriber I'm so proud to see you flourishing as a healthy person and mother. Well done babe you're doing such a good job x

[@shoobedoobedoo]

Some of the things that you said resonated with me so much. I don't have an eating disorder, but I think I'm suffering from body dysmorphia (which I was able to realize after you mentioned it in one of your videos). I've always been skinny and not curvy at all and then around high school and college I gained some extra weight.. I wasn't happy with it but I didn't do anything about it. And then I met my boyfriend and did exactly what you did.. he had a lot of fit, curvy, beautiful women on his insta etc and I started comparing myself, even though he had always loved my body and has been very vocal about it. I still struggle with the fact that I don't have a specific type of figure and my belly is just accentuating all of it, but I think I'm very slowly getting into a healthy state of mind.. some days are better than others, sometimes I cry just looking at myself and sometimes I feel bomb af.. but it helps so much knowing that I can find myself and my own struggles in so many women, even the ones that I look up to, like you Sammi. Thank you for making this video and speaking about it. ❤

[@saylorsoul]

omg i dont even have an eating disorder but emily ratajkowski triggers me into those thoughts too just bc shes so "perfect"

[@jesusiskingofmyheart]

you've been through so much, and you are so so strong. indie is lucky to have you as a mom and role model. love you sammi ❤

[@brittanyzielinski2914]

I appreciate your time and how you put this out here from a KZbin that has been around for years and opening up more and feeling beautiful is so inspiring!

[@emilyhaygarth]

All I can say is thank you. Thank you for being honest and opening up. I have watched you and followed your content for years now! I have been suffering with my eating disorder for a year now but I have just started recovery so this video is great timing for me, so thank you. Thank you.

[@emsjane69]

Awwwh I’m so sorry you went through this! You’re so beautiful I can’t even imagine how you didn’t see that but that’s why it’s a disorder I suppose. I’m so glad you have a healthier mindset now and sharing this will hopefully help others see their own beauty! Love yourself people!! 💕

[@amymitchell9985]

Thank you so much for this video. I struggled with body image issues and restrictive rating as well. I love how strong and healthy you are now Also I love how you talked about Jason throughout this video. Sounds like he was such a big support for you during this time ❤️

[@L_haugh]

Your last few videos have really made me love watching your content. You're so real and honest compared to most other youtubers I watch. A real inspiration and such a good person to look up too. Really commend the approach you take on theses sensitive subject.

[@JJ-qu3rs]

the people under your watchers-croud, who went through something simular, knew you were putting it off. Thank you for finally doing this , awareness is so important

[@sariatown]

you brought up something super important, you don't know why someone else weighs the amount they do. I was lucky to not deal with any body issues growing up, but recently I realized that when people comment on how "skinny" I am is a trigger for me. last year I worked at a retail store, when I started I weighed around 115-120lbs (I'm 5'2) and wore a size 4. after a while, I started to get harassed by men, not just by customers but also employees. I didn't even noticed how stressed out I was and how much weight I was losing because of it until a friend pointed it out to me. when I stopped working there in January, which was barely 6 months, I weighed 98lbs (super underweight!!) now I struggle with gaining weight and I can't talk about it because people don't see it as a problem. I fluctuate between 98-105lbs and now a size 0. I had to get rid of a lot of my clothes because they were way too big. but most people find that I can't gain weight "not a problem" and I get looks and comments like I WISH I COULD STOP GAINING WEIGHT! when they don't seem to realize being/bordering underweight is just as dangerous. sorry for ranting but I can't talk about it with anyone because I'm the "skinniest" person I know. side note: whenever I talk about going to the gym (to gain muscle) I get comments like "you don't need to lose weight!" even before all of this when I was at my normal weight....so people are dumb. people stop being dumb

[@hollyrebeccawhite]

You covered this topic so well. This is something so close to home for me - I went through everything that you mentioned. It's totally helpful to unfollow people on social media, or to follow new people. We don't realise how much that effects what we're thinking about! Our mental health is so important, so thanks so much for making this! xx

[@marieanne23]

I really admire you Sammi for sharing your story🤗 I think its such an important reminder for everyone that you never know what someone is dealing with behind the scenes and it’s never okay to comment on someones weight!💕

[@Alicefashionland]

Thank you for sharing! I have suffered from anxiety for many years and it has been one of the most difficult things I have ever experienced! You are so brave 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@lumisaurus]

Thank you for sharing this. Looking back on a point in your life when you were in such a different place mentally is always so strange, it feels like that past person was an imposter. You're such a strong person and a great role model 💖

[@ItsKaraDenise]

Ugh thank you for making this video. I've been feeling so bad lately my mood has changed so much and I have the worst thoughts about myself, this video truly helped me to not feel alone and to know that it gets better...

[@inawedenig]

wow I really needed this right now. I'm still in the middle of my ED recovery and sometimes I just lose sight of what I am working towards. I remember watching your videos when I was in hospital, they where what always cheered me up and actually helped me threw the worst part of my life. you are such an inspiration for me. Lots of love from Vienna xx

[@laaughoutloud]

this really hits home- thank you, thank you. i have struggled with restriction dieting and over-exercising on and off for a near decade. but, even though i mostly am feeling comfortable with myself, i acknowledge that i’m now carrying weight that i don’t need and can’t really wrap my head around how to make positive change without relapsing into those bad habits. sort of that i want to better myself without making myself feel like i’m not enough now, if that makes sense? if anyone has shared this experience and come out of it on the other side i would be so grateful to hear about it 💛

[@lornareid2564]

I am struggling with the exact same thing. I want to lose a little bit of weight but am afraid and anxious about the obsessive thoughts and inevitable guilt it brings.

[@makelisanotwar]

Thank you for talking about this Sam. I cried so much cause I'm currently coming to terms that I suffered a similar eating disorder in the past. Especially the part that people compliment you on losing weight. I'm a curvy girl, so when I lost weight everyone thought it was amazing and a good thing. Little did they know the pain behind the lost pounds. It's so important that people like you talk about stuff like this, so again, thank you so much. And just a reminder to everyone: regardless of the way your body looks, you're beautiful and valid.

[@alexandrapola6819]

You are so gorgeous and I’m glad you’ve found a healthy balance with your mental, your body, and food. Thank you for choosing to share this with us! 💕

[@Chlcecg]

Well done Sam 💗 ALWAYS good to talk about these things, especially with the platform you have. Big respect, love and admiration ☺️xx

[@emmibea528]

I’m 18 and have just recovered from anorexia, this is such a good video - thank you so so much Sammi xx

[@erriondominguez6011]

This is great Sam, we need more videos like this these days. You’re helping others by telling your story. Proud of you and you look amazing mama

[@easabela6693]

im in recovery now, ive been struggeling since i was 9 or 10 and im 19 now, its sounds crazy even to me..but what made it worse i was triggered by my own family and obviously school mates, its been soo exhausting but im really glad i finally found a way to save myself.. i wish you all the best sammi!:) i love u and your videos xxo

[@mer521993]

All the best to you! So happy seeing people in recovery. You are very resilient.

[@LovedHappy]

You’re just the loveliest.💖

[@lexye.]

This is why I still watch your videos. I've started when I was a teenanger, i don't know, i was 17? 18? Now I'm 24 and many youtubers I use to watch i don't anymore. But you are so genuine... Thank you for sharing your story!

[@amadeja156]

You're so strong, I really appreciate you making this xx Love listening to you!💖

[@mememeome]

I used to have an eating disorder. Maybe it’s been a little over one year since I last purged. The further and further I get from it the more I realize how abnormal it was. Yes i purged and would purposefully binge just to purge it, but i always thought I had it all under control and that it wasn’t a disorder because it was always a conscious decision. The moment I realized that I was losing control I decided to stop. I did give in a few times (mostly because it was hard to control my binging which made me feel like I then had to purge). But then I managed to not let myself purge even if I binged, and that let me be more cautious when it came to binging. I realized that it wasn’t the end of the world if I accidentally binged and didn’t purge, then I was able to control the binging. It’s the idea that I could eat anything and as much as I wanted without “consequence” that made the cycle begin. Honestly it’s still hard to view it as a disorder, but now I do view it as such an obviously unhealthy habit (physically and mentally). I just always viewed a disorder as uncontrollable. But I’m changing the way I think more and more. Every once in a while I get that urge, but I squash it immediately. I remember that it started my sophomore year in high school with my friend (who stopped that same year) and ended my senior year in college. On and off. My friend who started it doesn’t know how long I continued it. No one knows.

[@MoeshaODonkor]

This was such a brave and helpful video to make Sammi! Really, really appreciate you talking on this topic, I'm sure it's so helpful for all of us - whether suffering from an eating disorder, general problems/bad relationships with food, or not ❤️

[@XxMariaxXGr]

Been following you for aaaages now, ever since I was around 16 years old ( I'm 22 now). I have always loved your videos and your content and I have to say it's great to see you progressing and doing good! Thank you for this video, I have been struggling with anorexia all my life. Recovery is slow and takes time, but I'm starting to love my body and every flaw. Hugs from Greece x

[@elsa8525]

I had an eating disorder about 7 years ago. The things I did to myself were so fucked up. It’s so weird looking back on it. I was totally insane, but it all seemed so normal to me. When i think about it it feels like it happened to someone else. Glad you’re feeling more yourself now ❤️

[@galadriel-shire]

This is really amazing to me because when I look at you, I look at someone who is so beautiful and that in no way can have a disorder because you have a nice body and looks great. This video is extremely helpful and speaks to me because when i was thinner i was so self-conscious. Now that I am way bigger, I feel much better because i love myself more. Everybody can have a disorder from the skinniest person to the biggest. Thank you Sam

[@appassionatoLA]

Thank you for sharing your story so that others might find comfort in knowing that they’re not alone, that it’s ok to seek help, and that what they eat or look like is not a full reflection of who they are as a person. Be kind to each other everyone ❤️

[@nataliebyrne]

I have struggled with an eating disorder in the past, and have to be really careful with consuming videos like this in case they are triggering. But I thought you did an amazing job. I wasnt triggered at all! And I really do think this video is going to help soooo many people. Thank you so much for doing this, it must have been really scary. This video was perfect, you hit all the important points, while being vunrable, strong and informative. Ah I love you sam, you continue to inspire me every time!! Lots of love.

[@Dewdrop56]

Sammi, I’m so proud of you for making this video. I’ve been watching you since the beginning, and this video shook me to my core. So, so proud of you for seeking help 💗

[@amberg2986]

Thank you for being so transparent. It must have been difficult but you talked about it anyway to shed some light. Which is needed because it’s not talked about enough. But I do have a tough question. Did you feel this way still when you were pregnant with Indie? For some reason, when I was pregnant with my third, I was afraid to eat and gain weight. I actually dropped weight first then slowly gained the weight that I had lost back. So I wouldn’t feel so guilty.

[@ameliadavidson9604]

Thank you for sharing this Sami. It’s so important that people realise that just because you eat it doesn’t mean you don’t have a seriously unhealthy relationship with food. Interestingly, Emily Ratajowski is a major trigger for me too, and I’ve recently unfollowed her on Instagram xx

[@quanahdavis5954]

Amelia Davidson me too! I thought I was silly feeling insecure seeing images of her. Glad to know other girls feel the same xx