Sampling the Halloween 2018 Candy Haul | ASMR

Just checking our son's Halloween candy haul to make sure it's safe like any responsible parent would do!
Patreon ► bit.ly/1EZgmNi
Website ► ephemeralrift.com
Listen to selected works outside of KZbin:
Spotify ► bit.ly/1V23U60
CDBaby ► bit.ly/1AUt3Jj
iTunes ► apple.co/1xIHLNd
Podcasts:
EphemRadio (on hiatus) ► apple.co/2afSkZQ
Arkham Sanitarium (on hiatus) ►apple.co/2alraeV
Social Media:
Facebook ► / ephemeralrift1
Twitter ► / ephemeralrift
IG ► / e.rift

[@danielhorton9929]

“This is the only reason to have kids” 😂😂😂

[@Tacoman0301]

I lost my shit😂😂

[@Geekiepoo]

@@Tacoman0301 man I hope you find it soon

[@anthonydemauri4095]

Lol that's why I have 3...tons of candy

[@jmore718]

Man oh man.....I actually hollered when he stated that.

[@mpoppins1528]

No you can also have kids to buy barbie dolls and scaletrix and play with toys and no one questions you...apart from the kids... well they are teenagers so it's getting dodgy

[@jihoonpark2452]

Your son's acting voice is quite natural :D

[@candycadet528]

What acting? Don't tell me you don't think uncle E eats his sons candy?

[@Danimally]

That's because they were not acting. He really eat the candy of his children.

[@scaredstar9127]

my parents did the same, noticed I lost 3/4 of my candy, didn't noticed it right away when I was younger but now I do, they slowly added the candy jar from the Halloween candy, their reason: to save money XD

[@VoiceofPersonaASMR]

Plot twist: ER is voice acting as his son.

[@mikaibibiana6664]

bruh he has a son

[@matthaisuhlmann1617]

0:14 here' s a little lesson in trickery

[@cloneskiller]

Matthais Uhlmann this is going down in history

[@hxze8278]

@@cloneskiller if u want to be a villain number one

[@FloppyFish_HFTK]

You have to catch a superhero on the run

[@itismatty]

Beck Bristol just follow my moves and snEAk around be careful not to make a sound SHHHHH

[@FloppyFish_HFTK]

@@itismatty NO DONT TOUCH THAT

[@panggwin1690]

Glad to know I'm not the only guy who sits on the floor infront of the couch rather than on the couch to be level with the coffee table.

[@kuroseal8613]

Rise Kujikawa a bed for guests, obviously

[@youraveragehearbrokenfrien7951]

@Rise Kujikawa I usually put my back to the couch and sit on the floor its just a pillar for me

[@No1TypeC]

Don't tell me you don't have a hydraulic coffee table that can be raised to couch sitting level???

[@shadowfang942]

Same. I can't eat or drink anything on a table unless im level with it.

[@nologin5375]

Exactly, having to lean down to do anything on a coffee table is annoying, sitting on the floor with the couch as a beck rest is so much better.

[@Asareff]

That intro was so cute, Happy Halloween!

[@Z0mb13ta11ahase]

“If you don’t think so...Fight me” I could feel the weight behind that line 😂

[@user-kz2ve7rz2d]

@Official Oh Jin Woo ur about 10😂😂

[@leonflanagan4050]

Haha I feel bad for not even having one

[@yasminanaya6264]

LMAO

[@yasminanaya6264]

😂

[@hooniganalan7774]

MTB XC Trail Rides I 2jz swapped my r32 wassup

[@Addi.B.B.]

A classic Halloween candy eating video from the Ephemboi

[@TheKeeperofChaos]

Uncle E is the correct terminology

[@dirx1996]

Is this a Candy Man ORIGIN STORY HHMMMMMMMM???

[@bigred1711]

Sure, I mean of course this is the only reason he kills children

[@icyfrxst]

no. he is eating candy.

[@SplashDance]

I see you're wearing a Slayer T-Shirt....

[@julianedgar7491]

Your powers of observation are quite astute.

[@DevynDysphoriaa]

Jam St Androis SLAAYERRR

[@jank9358]

@@DevynDysphoriaa Fuckkkiinn slayyyeeerr

[@No1TypeC]

you gotta be badass to eat your son's candy

[@bradleygibson5495]

FUKIN SLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYER

[@FourTwenT]

Take a shot every time he says candy

[@cloneskiller]

Robin Waters remember me brother...

[@FourTwenT]

cloneskiller I will honour your loss brother

[@FloppyFish_HFTK]

I'm drunk

[@robinhyperlord9053]

I like your name...

[@Geekiepoo]

Where is my liver........... Oh there it is.....on the floor.....in a pile of mush.....

[@LisaRoseASMR]

Grim reaper walks up to the door: "I'm not wearing a costume. I'm here to take your sou... Holy shit! Full size Snickers? Ok we're good, Margaret."

[@frk33_GD]

lol

[@TheAcer1981]

Here's the dilemma : You promised him that you won't eat his candy with crossed fingers, then when he asked you if your fingers were crossed you released them and said no (as a lie of course) , but had you kept them crossed when he asked if they were wouldn't that also indicated a lie ( your plan to eat his Halloween candy) ? Instead of having tingles I'm now anxiously over-analyzing that paradox......

[@godshollownutsack9272]

And thats your fault for doing so. Be proud lol

[@scpanzor]

Why Bee McNoMistake no youre thinking about it wrong. His son was specifically asking whether his fingers were crossed AT THAT MOMENT. So him uncrossing his fingers and answering no is him just answering that specific question. It wasn't related to the previous question about candy. That was the trick.

[@pikabamboo4175]

😂😂😂😂

[@pikabamboo4175]

@@scpanzor the devil is in the details 😉

[@pizzag1940]

I think you mixed it up, what he did was a mastery of evil scheming and wasnt a paradox

[@morgangobin9985]

Ah, the classic lie every parent is guilty of! That’s a pretty impressive candy haul! That kid would do the Candy Man proud! I wonder what he dressed up as for Halloween? I wonder if Rift dressed up as anything? 🤔

[@greedgod5827]

Halloween is both the candy man's favorite and most hated holiday. On one hand you get free candy which makes the handyman happy but on the other, he can't stand the thought of giving away that candy

[@luciastaylor4940]

He has plenty of VERY good masks to choose from

[@kevinquinonez2714]

i think he dressed like Corvus Clemmons Jr. xD

[@reigncloudzz]

I didn’t I’m 14 Im to old I think also I had no costume

[@charliejames187]

Alpha Gamer for 14 your spelling and grammatical accuracy is awful

[@Nikki-gv6gl]

"This needs no introduction, Swedish Fish. Let's bust this open" This line had me dying lmao 😂😂

[@Luke-xv3oo]

PANT

[@hayleybault3786]

DeadliestWeapon_ I cried when he tossed aside the Reese’s Pieces.. it hurt..

[@RampDad]

FULL SIZE KIT KATS?!

[@jojodubs-rootsiii]

they must be ancient...they're minute in the UK ugh! lol

[@Short_Potato]

THE SHIT?!

[@richardclark194]

I haven't even trick or treating in years. Been probably 4 maybe 5 years. I'm 16 now. Anyways, the area I'd go would hook up everyone. You could go there with a bag roughly the size of a trash bag and walk out with it just about full. These people were super nice. They were pot heads but they sure knew how to hook up some kids with the candy. Full size and sometimes king size candy bars. Share size bags of skittles, m&m's, and all other sorts of candy. I remember going to that area one year and they gave out the jumbo pixie sticks. Ahh, I used to love those things.

[@richardclark194]

@Jonathan Bronner Yeah. If only I was young enough to go out and trick or treat again.

[@elgordo815]

Rich neighbor hoods be like:

[@hazardzone1331]

“I grew up drinking CeReaL”

[@brandonpapper9019]

Damn right, best way

[@monk7430]

Here's talent- he doesn't really have a son. He's a ventriloquist.

[@ghaliabaaj3071]

Srsly?

[@rainbowaverssniping3387]

@@ghaliabaaj3071 r\woooshhh

[@XHachimanX]

@@ghaliabaaj3071 lmao no he does have a son

[@Jack-zd3vr]

RainBow AversSniping r/wooosj

[@loggue8019]

Not a ventriloquist, he has just mastered the art of cloning

[@trinitycampbell7311]

"This is the reigning king of all candy Reese's peanut butter cup, and if you don't think so..." *most serious face ER has ever made* "Fight me." 'nough said

[@memeguzzler420]

he's not wrong tho

[@Anslow_dnb]

I’m pretty sure Jimmy Kimmel put him up to this

[@wrmonahan30]

Kimmel, ugh

[@atomicjoseph9295]

So... This is what happened to the Candy Man

[@Isaacfess]

He sat down and had a family.

[@monk7430]

Plot twist- his son grows up to become the Candy Man after years of his own father stealing his treats.

[@phayes2222]

I think this is more of a prequel. The Candy Man's origin story, if you will.

[@jakholl]

His son died because he couldn't get his blood sugar to rise after the great war. That turned him sour and caused him to roam the wastes to sell candy to those in need to prevent the same thing from happening to other people.

[@draggyrhawke]

3:59 DONT YOU TOUCH THAT I STILL GET PTSD FROM THE LAST KIT KAT YOU ATE

[@siegeasmr1417]

Draggyr Hawke did he bite it without breaking it...

[@alycatness3761]

Draggyr Hawke I want to be petty and correct his Reese’s pronunciation, but I enjoy it to much 😂

[@draggyrhawke]

@@siegeasmr1417 he did, he made a full video on how to eat a kit kat properly, needless to say, he did not eat it properly

[@BrahmaMishra]

The best ASMR artist ever!

[@alexsantiago357]

Congrats on being sober for 1 year Rift👍❤

[@halimaismail671]

What

[@alexsantiago357]

@@halimaismail671 ?

[@halimaismail671]

ALEXxpress I don’t know what he was addicted to or how he’s sober and whatnot

[@alexsantiago357]

@@halimaismail671 ..yes alchohol

[@MedievalSolutions]

@@halimaismail671 he said in the video that he's quit drinking alcohol a year ago.

[@asianman3455]

YOU MONSTER. YOU DIDN’T SAMPLE THE YORK PEPPERMINT PATTIES!

[@liamc3433]

Thats cause they suck

[@maxwell_edison]

>:( they do not suck

[@camobash2462]

Best part about Halloween was throwing those out

[@Gmanyoung007]

Fr tho they are soooo bad

[@Oh_Phoenix]

Pepperment patties are lit lol they taste so good.

[@lilskyguy7]

My man with the Reese's cups! Love you, Rift! Edit: I feel betrayed.... Edit Edit: False alarm everyone! False alarm!

[@Studio23Media]

Halloween candy videos are my favorite for some reason. It's so exciting to see what's next

[@eloydthegawd5548]

The level of creativity is through the roooooof. Just the idea of this video, the intro, the purpose, this channel as a whole. It’s just perfect.

[@subtobrucex235]

Hello, was this in your recommended aswell?

[@SMITE1979]

Umm 'bout that...

[@RomaCosplay]

I never heard nor expected to hear the classic "fight me" from Uncle E. I'm loving this LOL

[@fatjuicytaco]

**reads description** what a responsible parent 👍

[@EnglishVirgo]

Your Eating Halloween Candy (annual ASMR tradition) you made in 2012 was and still is, one of my absolute favourite candy videos. I remember it fondly.xx

[@mrmannova3212]

Happy Halloween! Ephemeral Rift.

[@fatjuicytaco]

I swear, ER was probably the only baby that HELPED his parents go to sleep.

[@SirVitruvian]

Mr. Rift, I appreciate you so much, thank you.

[@dutchgymrat]

It’s been over a decade. I am 36 now and I still enjoy listening to your ASMR related videos. Thanks my man 🫶🏻 And I hope you are well

[@EphemeralRift]

likewise!

[@brentwicker8632]

Every so often paul will do real life video (aside from all the awesome roleplays) and they are absolute gems!

[@MooSaidChicken]

I've been waiting like 4 years for another annual candy eating video!!

[@icantspell1479]

We better get a remake this week!

[@toxickake4207]

Uncle E is the child all along.

[@chrisj9825]

Always watch the full advert for uncle E. Thanks for your work

[@tjj2040]

Me on Halloween every year hahaha😂🤣. I wonder if the kids will notice if their one and only butterfinger goes missing 😂

[@skystoner5853]

*Comrade Yuri walks in* Yuri: I'm here for the candy little boy. The russian government of the motherland has requisitioned this for a very important purpose.

[@lit-eral5953]

What

[@Bone20647]

@@lit-eral5953 You dont know who comrade yuri is?

[@christina-olivia5655]

Thanks ER! Your candy eating videos from years ago were some of my fav videos! Happy Halloween! Xx

[@beablenker7081]

Instant like after that astounding introduction well played. You never fail to make me smile. I've been taking a bit of a break from ASMR recently, anxiety has been taking its toll and making it hard to just sit and listen. Lunch has been becoming a challenge again, but on those rough days I rewatch that one video you made. Good to see you again. Kit Kats are the best ♡

[@thelividchap1986]

Congrats on almost being sober for a year! Proud of you ER!

[@Ralph_Wiggum]

If Papa Rift was my Papa, I’d give him my sweets so that he could serenade me to sleep.. praise be. Stay blessed.

[@alexivonspeed]

Kim Jong Un ok

[@Ralph_Wiggum]

Kim Jong Un I’m in. Let’s do this.

[@jesseleger630]

Wow that turned south real fast

[@interrobang5000]

Congrats on no alcohol for almost a year! That is so awesome. I've been sober for 1,372 days. It's the hardest thing ever but also the greatest thing. Love your channel.

[@YUIGames]

Are you still sober?

[@itz_aubrey9093]

“Fight me” i love Halloween and anything fall realated!

[@raystumpfy9431]

Congratulations on a year of sobriety rift, my pops is 25 years sober. Big accomplishment.

[@crystalbuhrow]

I haven't watched yet, because I'm saving for later, but the thumbnail man... you look SO PLEASED, haha!

[@Hsviss87]

Laughed out loud in this video. Normally not what I’m looking for in ASMR, but definitely appreciate it tonight!

[@aaniels952]

opening candies is the best part of that asmr video

[@kjbervin9478]

Ah, Swedish Fish. I think it's cherry, raspberry, strawberry, and watermelon flavoring mixed in a certain ratio. Just enough so that the consumer is addicted to that precise taste that only Swedish Fish have. Throw me a Reese's cup, E.R.! Getting a serious chocolate jones watching this. 🤤 Thanks, man! 😎

[@eatsleepdie8808]

Actually, the flavor of Swedish Fish is closest to that of Lingonberry, though the actual flavor they were going for hasn't ever really been said.

[@muerate1460]

Ligondesenutz anyone??

[@projecxt2124]

wait i thought his son was super young? huh, kids grow up so fast.

[@isetmfriendsofire]

I did too.

[@alycatness3761]

I know that when he posted a video about taking his family to Chocolate World at Hershey Park it was 5 years ago. I’m not sure how old his son was though

[@sodiumftw2450]

Go back to his video where he opened the Shadows Over Innistrad Fat Pack and he gives an approximation

[@legoguney]

I think we all need another taste of that hacking the channel video.

[@auntjemima6474]

“If you don’t think so fight me” 😂😂🤣🤣🤣

[@firfit1]

Legit that made me die of laughter😂

[@JoeySwanson34]

This is possibly the best thing I’ve ever witnessed.

[@NoEntertainment]

The Budget version would be just doing it with candy bought on the day after halloween. But ER knows quality.

[@morgangobin9985]

No. Would it really be a budget version, though? You actually have to spend money to buy candy the day after, but you get Halloween candy for free.

[@NoEntertainment]

Rift bought it either way. ER could have dressed up as a child for Halloween and went trick or treating, that wouldve been the REAL budget version.

[@CapsuleGraph11]

I love Almond Joy, and I think it is on the top, for me personally.

[@KT-vg3nc]

Dude I love almond joy too! I get relentlessly harassed for it. 😁 Everyone throws the almond joy out but that just means more almond joy for me🍫💕

[@danagricken4197]

That intro was perfect 😂 Your channel is truly special, Uncle E.

[@ryu7055]

My tooth is aching watching this 😂💀

[@CrateTime]

Uncle E can you please do a stranger things asmr video, or at least an 80's themed asmr?

[@GpaJoe]

Definitely a 80's one

[@xXcangjieXx]

A Twin Peaks themed ASMR?

[@malibub0b]

@@xXcangjieXx he already did one but I think he should do Dr Jacoby's roleplay

[@geoffw6007]

ER: "Asking if I'd gone trick or treating" Me who lives in Australia and trick or treating is not really a big thing (and had never gone trick or treating): Uhhhhhhhhhhhh... No😢

[@quantum0151]

First time seeing this video and I was looking for Halloween ASMR since it’s about to be October. The intro made me feel like a kid again. The atmosphere felt like the early 2000s again.

[@wearewhoweare6953]

I enjoy watching your videos brother. So relaxing and your voice is soothing to those who need to let go of things going on around them. Keep up the good work👌

[@sortalegendairy8900]

KitKat fun fact. Failed KitKat are ground into a pulp and become the layer between the wafers.

[@CalOnGuitar]

AstronutY3K arguably the best part of the kitkat, ironically 🤔

[@tylerhumphrey2412]

I can confirm that. I make kit kats!

[@gall9had]

Also I usually cant tolerate eating sounds but Im ok with his he has the best sounds.

[@GreafefoRg]

This guy is literally the Bob Ross of ASMR and it’s so good

[@chrisafp071]

The beginning was hilarious, he knows you lie! Lol thanks for this man, you're the candy bandit, you're that guy huh 😁👌

[@minateh6331]

we luv a responsible asmr dad 😩👌

[@ashtonb0419]

er was out here smoking that gas pack

[@Ryanalexander6592]

I’ve waited all year for this

[@ElBakovitj]

This is one of my ASMR favorites! So good!

[@gianlucacordone5825]

I love the slayer shirt :^)

[@LeeKo]

Need more Candy man videos!

[@robloxadventures3415]

Kid wakes up dad where is my Halloween candy he said oh ummm I think the dog ate it 😂

[@Nickersons-Theme]

Came back for a quick Halloween refresher!

[@snodingamer]

This is what I call the parent candy tax

[@morningdivabeam]

Great hair paul! Also as a non-american those are the only american chocolates I know. XD

[@GeekedOutGaijin]

“And if you don’t think so, fight me” I just died 😂😂

[@kattheawesome4827]

Holloween nostalgia hit me like a brick

[@jackscyther6857]

Peanut butter cups are the best and if you don't believe me fight me

[@hatz1107]

**Clears throat** Nerd Ropes

[@Short_Potato]

@@hatz1107 *Clears throat* Snickers.

[@vapelordeon9364]

Dark Souls is bae you know it *CLEARS THROAT* 3musketeers

[@Oh_Phoenix]

All of these are good..... besides snickers those are gross lmao

[@mattu.8062]

They’re pretty damn good!

[@MaxRelaxationASMR]

Rift: "Have you ever heard the sound of someone tapping on a Reese's peanut butter cup before, bet you haven't" Me: "Just did"

[@hunterryland5907]

Take a seat

[@whiskeyechoechodelta9290]

Funny I had the same “Danger Toxic Gasses” poster on my door as a kid alongside with a ghostbusters ghost sign lol

[@shydragaming8074]

"Reese is the raining champion of all candy and if you don't think so, fight me." God. I lost my shit laughing at that line and then sobered up really quick when I went back to hear it again and saw his face. If looks could kill, then 130,000+ people would be dead now.

[@nickwessels4653]

Reese's (ree-cez) cup reigns!

[@wackojacko9170]

So eating your sons sweets lol.

[@zoeynicole7864]

Eww

[@unsympatheticstoner8415]

Almond Joy has always been my favorite out of all chocolate it's just something about the coconut & almond that i go insane for, awesome video btw 😊

[@the-witness8811]

I loved the collaboration here. Lmao such a funny moment.

[@wikern7010]

This guys kid getting 7.5 pounds of good candy while im out here getting a toothbrush and an eggplant 😕

[@FourTwenT]

80’s music’s The best you’ll be thankful when you’re older

[@nighttimestalker]

My sister totaled 12lbs. It'll last over a year

[@FourTwenT]

kaleb Powell what does that do for me

[@glendasworld4125]

kaleb Powell how much did she get this year?

[@riles8435]

Favorite Candies: 1. Kit-Kat 2. Twix 3. Crunch Bar 4. Krackel 5. Hershey's Bar 6. M&M's 7. Snickers 8. Milky Way 9. Blow Pop 10. Air Heads (Blue Raspberry) ...guess I'll have to fight you Uncle E

[@connorlee3704]

WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU PUT KIT-KAT ABOVE SNICKERS, TWIX, AND ESPECIALLY THE CRUNCH BAR?!?!

[@riles8435]

@@connorlee3704 KIT-KATS ARE THE BEST. DON'T YOU DARE INSULT THE GREATEST CANDY IN THE WORLD

[@connorlee3704]

@@riles8435 THE ONLY ONE INSULTING THE GREATEST VANDY IN THE WORLD IS YOU, KIT-KAT LOVING, FART-FACE!

[@riles8435]

@@connorlee3704 I WILL BREAK INTO YOUR HOUSE AND EAT ALL OF THE CANDY YOU OWN

[@wecanonlymoveforward]

Connor Lee i'll just eat both of your houses and boom-problem solved

[@theScienceOfFear2012]

i genuinley laughed out loud at the intro.

[@swaggersoulsyeet5507]

Smooth Moves

[@xrxiiny2177]

I drink soda and do all that Jaz but never ever hade a cavity and I’m almost 17 I have perfect teeth and I don’t know how, Great vid BTW

[@SteamPumpGamer]

I pray for your liver

[@fabmanthereal]

of course you’re fine! you’re 17! your metabolism is very good because you still are a kid.... but when you get older this will change.

[@gargamel6162]

Nothing like watching a video about a dad whispering to me about how he is eating his kids Halloween candy.

[@samurai6797]

This was so relaxing I forgot he was eating his sons candy lol

[@GishDelish]

Reeses is by far the greatest candy let's be real here..

[@Dylan-tl6um]

Gaming with Gish Its disgusting

[@christerlilledal5904]

Reeses is the best

[@itsllol6504]

I love you papa rift but if you EVER disrespect Almond Joy's again. I'll have to hit you

[@Oh_Phoenix]

Yes almond joy gang

[@Jack-zd3vr]

🔞

[@whypie7081]

Yeah idk why everyone hates them

[@qtboiii6723]

I feel like instead of giving candy, Rift would give a history lesson.

[@plop7319]

Anybody else laugh when he sat on the couch to just shimmy onto the floor 🤣 Nope okay

[@immortal7276]

10:30 he eats

[@Jack-zd3vr]

*h e e a t s* like a mf horror movie