NOT Alpha Males: Just Narcissists and Psychopaths

[@SeaTeaSnow]

This needs to be more widely viewed.

[@2watchmytube]

Thanks for detailing the intent of relationship coaches and the destruction that is happening from their content.

[@cornflower9258]

Those guys are the rot that destroys everything. Worst bottom of the barrel men who teach people to lie to one another

[@JOSEPH-vs2gc]

There's this one Coach on youtube who would consider a 25 year old woman "Old", He's approaching his 50's and has a 20 year old girlfriend. It began to occur to me that i was listening to a pedophile. These coaches are narcissistic Creeps i guess.

[@elefant5772]

As I understand it, an "alpha" is someone whom other people give trust, loyalty and authority, sometimes even love and reverence for. An "alpha" is not a ruthless and selfish tyrant that everyone fears, but a competent, capable leader, who has the common good in mind and whom everyone is willing to follow.

[@greglyons2526]

Just wolves I am afraid.

[@greendivaapothecary9790]

Thank you again, Dr. Vaknin. The comment I wish to share is in response to the Joharry Window. I followed your direction and took the list of adjectives and analyzed my identity and asked someone who knows me very well to independently do their assessment (with zero input from myself in any way). The results were astonishing, especially when I sorted the adjectives, as best I could, into Visible External Behaviour (restless) and Internal thought behaviour (logical), with some adjectives falling into both categories (observant). I wanted to see if the "self" others see matched my interpretation. It did not in a dramatic fashion. What stood before me was someone I did not recognize and with humility, someone I liked better. I instantly saws that critical voice at work and I could see where it gained traction. In response, I took all the adjectives I got wrong and wrote them on a sheet of paper all by themselves. These were my blindspots, good and bad. I feel I now have a kind of road map that I can update through periodic reassessment that will grow my arena. I'm so grateful for this tool.k

[@samvaknin]

I developed this tool considerably and rendered it way more powerful and useful as a technique in my Cold Therapy.

[@mostthegames3723]

Awesome. I'm going to try this!

[@mishmacD26]

Thank you for sharing your Professor Vaknin inspired idea and experience with it in practice.

[@eliswebster8847]

Thank you for allowing us to learn here and to grow in understanding: all the better to evaluate the covert lurking malignant Narcissists in our lives.

[@davekumarr]

Thank you Professor Sam. Its very generous of you to make these lecture presentations. I greatly appreciate it.

[@curlycarla]

Thank you for sharing Sam 🙏🏼🌹

[@sayvorie]

Prof…thanks. Makes sense. You should probably also do a lecture on the sigma male…the latest category that’s going viral. They’ve exhausted the alpha…

[@celene-qz2jg]

Thank you professor. You have restored my faith back in men. I went down the “red pill” rabbit hole and I never hated men and never want to hate a man but any kind of push back even if It was reasonable and so this helps me make sense of it

[@game-enjoyer13]

No matter how many times I try to tell people that our idea of an “Alpha Male” is totally false and generalized, I’m always told that I just don’t see the “truth of human nature” or some shit like that. Years and years of stereotypes and clichés have led us to believe in an alpha male ideology in humans. When it’s just not how it works. The animal kingdom does rely way more heavily on physical appearance and strength and such. The leaders of any animal family does tend to be the strongest and biggest. Because they need that. They don’t have the tech and luxuries that we do. But we don’t live like that, at all. We haven’t lived like that in thousands and thousands of years. Humans are way way way different and our brains are way more evolved. We do not rely on the same things animals do to survive or to compete. Being the biggest and strongest male in your family doesn’t mean jack shit if you can’t provide things to the family. Who cares if you can dead-lift hundreds of pounds and have a huge dick and sexy wife? If you can’t provide income, or have a useful skill or useful knowledge/wisdom gained, then you’re not an “Alpha Male” at all. Again, the human world does not work like the animals kingdom. I don’t call anyone an alpha or beta or whatever this “sigma” horse shit is. They are all just guys and gals. If I have a 6’4 ripped chiseled guy in my friend group, my 5’7 skinny ass ain’t gonna bow down and follow him like a lost puppy, like we’re basically taught to. Because I know for a fact, and have been proven time and time again correct, that you can be successful and get with gorgeous women regardless. Having those masculine features may boost your chances, no denying that. But it’s not a be all end all

[@thephilosopher5799]

You will backdown and be submissive if that 6’4 guy challenges you in some way. And that would be the smart choice if he’s bigger and stronger than you. That’s animal nature and humans are still a animal even though we are more civilized now. I agree these alpha/beta/sigma terms are cringe tho.

[@silverfish8059]

Really loved the analysis of the business/ cultural misrepresentation of evolutionary psychology and the worship of this shallow alpha concept. Needs to be said. Awesome as ever,

[@mostthegames3723]

My father definitely presented the facade of the alpha, with his millions , and his stream of women over the years. However, by the end of his life, the millions that he had made had dwindled to but a few that were owed to the Canada revenue agency (but stowed away in Mexico). Turns out he was quite the shadowy guy. I got an episcript from someone running on an episcript with alloplastic adaptations. No wonder I dont know who the heck I am lol. BTW I've always thought of religion as being ridiculously anthropocentric.

[@Greeny_isthegoat]

Ive seen how some men become uglier the more they have.

[@vincentheartland2088]

It's fascinating how much this analysis uses concepts also seen in Theramintrees' analyses of narcissistic behaviour. I mean, I guess "duh", but still the breadth of applications is astonishing

[@brennuvargr4638]

Great video, and very pertinent now, given Andrew Tare's exploits and the behaviour of his sycophantic minions.

[@lizaphelps]

@samvaknin My mother studied with Richard Erskine in his NYC apartment in the 70s and 80s. I was good friends with his daughter. My mother used Transactional Analysis in her practice; I was lucky enough to learn all about scripts, P-A-C, and brown stamps as a tween. It didn't inoculate me against a narcissist, but the teachings are as natural to me as breathing.

[@mariabolla5032]

Beautiful, i concur& U are the best❤

[@Jay-kk3dv]

Professor, can you do a video on avoidant personality disorder

[@samvaknin]

I did.

[@Jay-kk3dv]

@@samvakninThank You!

[@dogualpan8121]

Very very illuminating , thanks a lot💯

[@dogualpan8121]

How should an alpha male interract with psychopathic and narcissistic people ? İf you could share a video about this topic i would be delighted🌺

[@alouiciousdeverdander9152]

I have to admit I’m having a hard time with all this... I’m a fan of Jordan Peterson and his message... I really do appreciate, though, your message and the fact that it has created a cognitive dissonance within me... I was raised by narcissists and definitely suffered for it... only recently have I discovered the power of empathy and collaboration... the world needs as many different perspectives as possible and I really appreciate your work... I’ll be delving deeper into your content... thanks for your efforts... thanks for sharing your knowledge

[@JadeoftheGlade]

Remember, Sam is a self described evil being, who has no care for you whatsoever. He does not consider himself human. Indeed, he holds contempt for humans. Your ONLY value to him is your supply. Full stop. Take anything he says with that in mind. There are certainly some insights to be gleaned, but his motivations do not hold him responsible for anything but fulfilling his own needs.

[@Spawnisntdead]

@@JadeoftheGlade so if he’s an evil person is his goal on this Chanel to lure people and give them shitty infos ?

[@remnant1018]

1. I’m taking Psychology as my second concentration, and won’t be taking any classes directly on this topic (at least not any time soon), but I have been interested in learning more about it for a few years. Is there a textbook you recommend that speaks more on this subject? I’d love to check it out between classes. 2. I can’t speak for the average female, but speaking for myself, I just prefer a male with whom I have core interests and core principles in common. I’m not interested in one that has to put additional fancy words in front of... Just male. Healthy, kind, cool, funny, and any of the other positive adjectives you named. When guys have to go around announcing they’re “alpha”? I start wondering what negative qualities they’re using that one word to cover up.

[@dan.franco]

Thank you very much! You helped me a lot. God bless you!

[@resplndnt]

Question: what is high functioning? Because some people who are supposedly high functioning display a lot of ineptitude

[@dericka0069]

Your concepts and understanding should be required viewing by all schools in it's own field and some within others. The devil's in the details and the details are everything.

[@Mr_Shuku]

Very informative , thank you

[@sheilalopez3983]

How likely is it that these type of macho men prefer other men?

[@samvaknin]

Watch my video on reaction formation (mass shooters)

[@jessicacorvo6632]

Great content Dr Sam! Such a complex topic... well said and laid out. I'm a massive fan of the Johari Window and curious to learn the nuances between that and your Cold Therapy.

[@goldilocks3593]

Thank you. When I hear people refer to Donald tRump as an alpha male I just shake my head. I mean what?????? Yes I agree an alpha male is a highly integrated male who knows exactly who they are and what they stand for and what they are going to do (or not do) to keep that integrity in tact. To me someone like Pat Tillman comes to mind. tRump is the farthest thing possible from an alpha male .. good grief 🙄🤦‍♀️😖 ... !!!

[@RayDesmond587]

Thank you for speaking on this I listened to manosphere... I hate it!!!!! It will turn you into monster

[@bronwynborcherds8322]

Thank you for sharing this information, it is appreciated. Can this apply to "female alphas" too?

[@L.Hodson]

They are so Narcissists ...

[@mindsetmotivation9124]

Late to the party.. but. Very interesting lecture! Thank you

[@FeralCatSanctuary]

This was such a help to me on so many levels. I have not been able to understand the "why" of Donald Trump and it has distressed me so much. I simply have not been able to comprehend how he had any power at all. Now, I understand. And, it helped to define for me the person I need to look for if I want to be around "healthy" individuals. My family had so many mental health problems (me too) that it has been difficult to know what to look for, since the familiar has never, and will never be healthy for me. Thank you for a wonderful lecture.

[@samvaknin]

samvak.tripod.com/faq19.html#trump

[@two2girlsmomma]

@@samvaknin What a crock! I'm so done with people like you. DT has done more for our country then any other president and for you to need to understand the "why" of him is simply remarkable. Do you not yet understand that DT was elected because he promised Americans that we would not continue down the road to socialism, communism? He appealed to those Americans that wanted to go back to how we used to be, where America was respected and we had jobs and life was simpler. He preached to the heart of the American spirit and demolished the politically correct who never do anything but LIE to your face about what they will do and turncoat later. It's baffling that people like you live in this country and spew your misunderstandings and psychosis ramblings about a man who not only said he would do something but actually did more than he said he would do and made this country better even with all the LIARS spewing lies on the daily about him. Now that you have Obama 3.0 in office, let's see how you fair in the coming months. That Liar and thief President who is now in office and his black VP (oops, she ran on that but is not even remotely close to it) will show you the way real soon. It's people like you who kicked and screamed when Hilary lost yet reaped the benefits of an amazing economy, lower taxes, better border control, a vaccine to help with COVID (and yes DT did that NOT Biden), etc etc. But no, you want to ride on the tail coats of those accomplishments and still try to call the man all kinds of names. How disgusting and vile.

[@two2girlsmomma]

@@robberttruijens6552 Just because you party with people doesn't make you akin to their evils now does it? DT even partied with Hilary and her ilk yet when he ran against her all bets were off and you see how that went. You hold a straw man view here. Trump's economic policies did many things for the lower and middle classes. Right out the gate he lowered taxes. He removed the Obamacare fine, employment went to the lowest of any recorded president in recorded history. You can read that for yourself. Those are minor things too. The man didn't even want to be paid for his time in office. So you can call him whatever you want and say fatuous things about him but we'll see how you like this country in a year. We're already seeing the surge of illegals on the border, COVID resurging thanks to that and other diseases as well. Crime is at an all time high too. Gas prices are going up, food going up, etc ad nauseum. Go figure.

[@24Wynn]

@@two2girlsmomma Really? Just because that's what he told you? Do your research. He gave tax breaks again to the wealthy indefinitely and the tax breaks he gave the middle class and the poor ended in 2021. He also couldn't be bothered to learn the job of the presidency. He watched Fox & Friends every day and then used what he saw and heard for his daily press briefings. Read several books from former White House employees. Trump is also NPD with a unhealthy dose of being a Sociopath. Inflation is world wide due to Covid and the "open border" situation does not exist. Immigrants have been flying in from other countries so there goes your bullshit argument about "Mexican" immigrants. Fox News is labeled under "Entertainment". Bought 40 or so years to target conservative Republicans. Open your eyes, Dude. Trump is and always has been a con man. It's up to you to not buy into this bullshit.

[@two2girlsmomma]

@@SmolSpoder I'll tell you this...I don't care what "psychology" spews out about the character of DT. I could give two cents for it because to me, as an American, he didn't bow down to the political regime in place. Like I said, he spoke to the heart of the hard working people of this country. He kept his promises and more. For those of you who think he's some sociopath or are "triggered" by what he does, you have more issues within that you personally need to deal with. It's nonsense and because you're so dimwitted and soft, you get the clown show that is on display today.

[@alphanotmale1847]

Dr. Vaknin, would you be willing to make time to answer some questions for me (and hopefully for others who may have the same concerns I do)? (Hopefully my questions add to your lecture rather than to stray from it) 1) I agree 1M% with you that narcissists lack self efficacy and, therefore, don’t make good chief executives or military commanders, nor do they make good leaders of any degree at all, but, even though this is the reality, WHY is it that we still see them achieve those positions and even retire with honors? 2) how is social activism considered a pathological form of alloplastic adaptation if social activism has made it possible for many of us minorities to enjoy and practice many basic rights (e. g. In the U. S. - Women’s suffrage, the US Supreme Court ruling racial segregation in public busses as unconstitutional, etc.)? Or would it be more appropriate to say that social activism was a form of alloplastic adaptation that started well, but in the last decades has become weaponized by mentally I’ll people and, therefore, it is now so plagued by mental illness? 3) when you say that you add religion to the list of mentally pathological alloplastic adaptations, are you referring to religion in general or are you referring to psychopaths and sociopaths who use religion to manipulate individuals and/or crowds to their own advantage? The reason why I ask is precisely because some of the alpha males (as you describe them: genuinely good hearted, empathic, caring, human beings), I have known in my life happen to be religious.

[@samvaknin]

1. Other narcissists aid and abet their ascendance 2. Watch my vid on victimhood movements (and, in future, do your homework before you post questions) 3. The delusional belief in "god" and other such nonsense can have favorable and benign outcomes. But it is still a form of mental illness.

[@alphanotmale1847]

@@samvaknin thank you so much for taking the time to reply, sir! I truly appreciate it. I will definitely watch the video you recommend. As far as the nonsense of “god” and religion, I would like to watch more of your videos -on that subject (or videos you recommend), given that, recently, I have also started to view the military (I was in the U.S. military as a religion).

[@memoryofsalem4474]

While I am in no way a professional, I have come with somewhat of a theory as to why people may perhaps try to use the way animals operate on humans, like humouring ideas like the "alpha male". Perhaps it is exact the complexity that you discussed in this video that caused these ideas to arise, the complexities of human interaction causes people to want to flee from said interactions and downgrade them into something simpler. Mainly I am referring to people who do not suffer from actual psychological conditions (such as narcissists) but still believe in these ideas. Again, not a professional in any way nor am I saying anything about the psychology of the people who subscribe to ideas such as those, just stating my opinion.

[@octavioorozco1606]

How does someone know if they have a self or not?

[@samvaknin]

They don’t.

[@funyuns1575]

What do you mean by a self Octavio?

[@drejames4191]

I have to think this man too because now I can explain to these so-called alpha dudes that it don't take five dudes to beat up one guy cuz I personally call them little b words

[@baltesiuioana]

Always thought that is something wrong beyond the social justice face of the activists, but I thought I was crazy. Thank you.

[@000A23]

Hi Sam, I love your work. Can you please advise where to find other reads/studies on mental illness and social justice activism or spirituality movements? I always thought it's some form of alloplastic defense (in some cases) but can't find much online. Thanks

[@samvaknin]

scholar.google.com

[@000A23]

@@samvaknin thank you. Was checking there but not thoroughly 😅

[@cb2363]

Thank you dctor, very compelling. In my humble opinion, human beings are an animal species among the others. However, I also believe that using other species ethologies to expalin human behavior is, at list for the most part, detrimental.

[@cb2363]

@@robberttruijens6552 Thank you for your concern, sir. Surely animals have our same emotions, but they have different ethologies. Ethology is what a was referring to, I wasn't referring to emotions. Best regards

[@DebraRead]

Prof. Sam: you are our alpha male (speaking for us ladies). Wish we could clone you so we could each have one😊❤ So generous of you to share your training, knowledge, wisdom with all of us. It's life saving. THANK YOU. 😊

[@danielnieto2534]

You awesome Sam!

[@sim3506]

I want to kiss you on your forehaed really! Your job, your language and explanation is a biiiiiiiiiig threat to the narcisssictic system we are forced to live in. I truelly wish you the best in your path because i believe and it makes just soooo sense everything you say and toncombine it with such a good explaning style is just unbelivable. Hope that more and more and more people will follow you, but youtube as you know will not let that happen. Im just soo shocked because you literally put together every thrown apart piece, and now we have the perfect picture and explanation. God bless you!!! Forever be on your track. Kind regards

[@olgadekiev8910]

What about woman alpha? Thank you

[@samvaknin]

No studies. Not surprisingly.

[@olgadekiev8910]

Why no studies about woman alpha ? She does not exist ?

[@samvaknin]

@@olgadekiev8910 Political correctness. And the fact that these disciplines are ruled by emancipated feminist women.

[@olgadekiev8910]

What is sam vaknin's opinion on what an alpha woman is? It would be really interesting to have your really and honestly vision away from feminist propaganda.

[@muraveqt]

@@samvaknin I didn't really get that one.. the "logic" of your explanation - doesn't surprise me that it's true what you're saying and honestly i could care less about those studies, but could you please explain further?

[@cristitanase6130]

Do one about female narcissists and their "coaches".

[@Anarramirezw]

The "high value" women or prostitutes, sugar babies, escorts and those kind of girls that incels say are the perfect women?

[@cristitanase6130]

@@Anarramirezw Nah, the regular entitled ones.

[@_elifilen]

I need to share that with my d head of my brother XD

[@mirrandaanderson9895]

Please forgive the thumbs down feedback. I enjoyed this thoughtful insightful lecture. But my clumsy hands were uncooperative in giving the correct feedback.

[@auroradijana7915]

Don't get me wrong but if there is no high functioning NPD people what kind are you?

[@yhareldiele9480]

Kirikou and the sorceress anyone?

[@alejandrofigueroa6958]

I had this feeling after watching many videos on alpha males. On the one hand, I think they promote a healthy life style in general, but it is all about image and being self-centered. Many times I felt they promote proyecting a false confidence. Fake. The fantasy. On the other hand, integrity, confidence, being able to have a plan and act accordingly are features grounded on truth. You cannot have rocksolid confidence is your integrity and planning is based on something you know you are faking or just trying to portrait. The reason I think dating coaches and pieces of advice work is due to thecsegment of the population they are targeting. Insecure men taking advantage of damaged woman. Have u notice that this damaged women are desperate for attention and validation? This is crying narcissism.

[@alejandrofigueroa6958]

@@SmolSpoder in my opinion, taking care of your health is a positive outcome. I also think stressing leadership in men's role is key. It has been the nature and goal of men to collect women during all humanity. They promote the basic instinct of the winner man. But I do agree that it is narcissist in nature as it selfish, a sense of grandiose and evil when men do not openly say what the intent is. It is narcissist because it promotes self-love.

[@alejandrofigueroa6958]

It is very different when you do this by empathazing and collaborating with others. There is a need to stick to truth here that the other group doesn't. They construct a false self that attrack damaged women.

[@alejandrofigueroa6958]

@@SmolSpoder I don't feel they want to grow that's why they are stuck in the same place x years. I did not equate nature to animal. Some people do mot behave like that

[@juliewilson3876]

Why isn't Joe Biden an Narcissist?I totally believe he is. Look at his life and career. Can you do an lecture on him?

[@samvaknin]

I haven't studied him, but I did study his boss, even before Obama became POTUS Barack Obama - Narcissist or Merely Narcissistic? (Published July 2008) www.narcissistic-abuse.com/obama.html

[@24Wynn]

Interesting that one group of people continues to project their "leader" Trump's obvious Narcissism off on the current President who is Biden. Stop the projection and try to take accountability for the side you choose to support.

[@neige4221]

If he is not then his wife surely must be.