How 2 Types of Gaslighting Affect You

There are two types of gaslighting: verbal and behavioral (signaling).
Psychopath’s gaslighting and narcissist’s confabulation are experienced the same way by victims. But gaslighting requires premeditation and intact reality testing, so only psychopaths gaslight. Narcissists truly believe their own fantasies and confabulations: they self-gaslight.
Gaslighting is a form of dissociation (derealization, depersonalization). The narcissist uses entraining to convert the victim into an extension of himself. He then experiences himself vicariously, via the victim: his dissociation and fantasy.
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[@Claire-eb9jz]

I think thats why it's so confusing to be with a narcissist. It feels that they are being honest even when they are lying, reframing, or confabulating, and as you point out, that's because they have essentially deceived themselves first. And we feel that this person is so intelligent, perceptive and open, how can there be something wrong with their mind....? Narcissism is a deeply disturbing phenomenon, once truly apprehended.

[@Skonces]

Amazing video. Once I detached myself I got the impression that their gaslighting wasn't just to convince me I was crazy/abusive/worthless, but rather, to convince themself: to erase all evidence of reality that conflicted with their idea of how things should be. I'm so glad you confirmed this, your explanations make narcissists make sense in a way nobody else's can

[@lorishu48103]

Great insight

[@nikicole1614]

Thanks Sam. Yes, dumbed it down nicely. But, as you say, best thing is no contact, get out of the situation totally. 😊

[@CalloCallay]

Excellent as ever, thank you Professor. I read a biography of Patrick Hamilton, novelist and playwright, the author of ‘Gaslight’ and it was interesting to learn that he was the only son of highly narcissistic parents. He struggled with relationships, drank heavily and died in his 50s from the effects of alcoholism. Many of his novels include narcissists of both sexes and his play ‘Rope’ was based on the Leopold & Loeb case.

[@ValerieSEllis]

I just love your channel. It helps me so much in coming to terms with what happened to me with my ex. Surprisingly, it also allows me to have mercy for my narcissist, despite the fact that I've come to understand that from his point of view, I am (or was) merely a source of narcissistic supply. Your explanation of the pathology validates my own experience, which is such a relief. I was not imagining it, I was not asking for it, and my perpetrator is really a tragic figure, virtually doomed to a parasitic loveless existence. Thank you thank you thank you for bringing awareness to me, to the public, and to victims everywhere.

[@madmyndcreations]

Thank you as always for teaching me something new with a fresh perspective that only comes from your very specific and intelligent viewpoint.

[@pubgiant24]

Another great video. I have been watching you for about 12 years when I first realized I was experiencing parental alienation. (I wish you would explore that more). Anyway, it occurred to me this morning that... you do not age!!!! Keep up the great work. Thank you.

[@sharonmcclintock6727]

Congratulations Sam! Wonderful information wil reach even more people. You kick ass.❤

[@SuziTrue]

What a nightmare I have been able to see since my moth(er) passed at 96: Both she and my husband gaslit, or so I thought. I can see the difference clearly in these 2. This info is very disrupting. I took a long break to digest and I very much wish this all didn’t make perfect sense.

[@philliplouie7759]

The narcissist I knew would change her story so many times I thought it must be gaslighting. She did seem to have memory problems, though.

[@ValerieSEllis]

Yes! But they completely believe the version they are espousing at the time. They're only reality is the one they are in at the moment. It's maddening, but not a deliberate choice on their part. And that's what the good professor has helped me to understand.

[@angeliquedemeijere5980]

​@penijoni1316it's probably both; narc and psychopathy. But who knows maybe schizoïde it's onky for a team of psychiatrist/psychologists to diagnose. What is important is to know they do it and have very little contact. No emotional expectations or intimacy. Stay safe. You child needs to learn her family members has a different psychology which is not safe for children and young ones and adult with no psychological boundaries. We need first to know who we are. In connection with our Self and have these strong boundaries of our internal psychological system. For this it is nessecary to stay healthy connected to your young child. To teach this and midel your connection to your psyche/soul essence Self. Look up IFS

[@philliplouie7759]

@penijoni1316 In a nutshell, I think you could go with the characterization in the video description, "Psychopath’s gaslighting and narcissist’s confabulation are experienced the same way by victims. But gaslighting requires premeditation and intact reality testing, so only psychopaths gaslight. Narcissists truly believe their own fantasies and confabulations: they self-gaslight."

[@patriciawaters86]

Congratulations 🎉🍾 on your fabulous 📕 book Professor Sam Vaknin. Thank you so much for these informative videos and that cute chuckle 🤭 of yours melts me every time 🥰.

[@valevazquez7262]

Good for you Dr! Congratulations

[@drusillazurcher6813]

Best ever - well defined! Most Helpful - explanation of my experience during my life with a brilliant NPD husband! Many Thanks! You are the best at clarifying these realities!

[@alexander_b132]

Thank you for the video! Also, I like how the number of subscribers is growing. You deserve it!

[@clownsyndrom]

Thanks for the video! Youngest son of an alcoholic household. Everyone gassed themselves to no end, me especially my brother and my father and I had the same friends for a very long time. Of course I have also taken on a lot and am trying to learn to create a new relationship with my own narcissism. I am just trying to save what can be saved in my life. Quite often, actually regularly, I gaslight myself. Sometimes I can't concentrate on anything and the discussions with old objects don't stop. It is even physiologically a strenuous and very painful affair. Does anyone have experience with this and how to get rid of it? Thank you

[@LizEarthAngel3]

Thank you, you are the only place I can understand the psychopath abuse, as yes it is different

[@Ay-B]

Now that I understand narcissism, I'm recognizing narcissistic protagonists in movies: Gaslight, A Face in the Crowd, Nightmare Alley. These movies have it all! Love bombing, gaslighting, discard, anger, complete self-concern, fear of exposure, and (ultimately) emptiness. And I love these movies! Perhaps it's because I'm so receptive to the abuse?

[@_xiper]

Good lord, this was incredibly insightful!

[@anlaugschreinerberge4588]

Thank you! 🙂 This video was very enlightening. Amazing. You describe very well the both theoretical, and in practise, the differences. I do remberr, the realityloss, that was absoltley gruesome, and he problem was, as you explain, i was my reality that changed (disseapered), and it was a horrible, scary feeling, all consuming. I do remember to, that the person that liked me to loose my reality, also fed me back another reality, that was to mine, to the core, i wasnt to doubt it, «teached» me how it really was. That was scary too, either he was scary and used accusations and threat, or if he apoerad more as a socialworker or a guru. The point is that i belived in him, not in me, and in really basic things, like my own health, my own senses and basic memory, and even my values that i hold dear. It is still frigtening that I actually went along to sort of change my insides. It makes me wonder if someone or something could do that again. I am not usually very easy to either manipulate or brainwash, and i do think my own thoughts and take responsibilty for my own beeing and feelings and are able to regulator fine in most circumstances. I feel healed up and done with the whole experience, but i did use some years, and are still, on occasion, wondering what parts of my psychology he saw, and managed to screw so loose and why i went off beeing that amount of crazy! 😳 Its not a pleasent thought! I have went over, to try to fix any leakes, but i can obviosly never be totally sure that nobody could ever gaslight me like that again. But its not something I am going around beeing all worried for any more. It was extreme, but it was also kind of an extreme moment in time in wich we met, I was hurt and i was needy, and i didnt see anything that was coming, eventhoug looking back noe, i defintly wood. I have also been taking in lots of knowlegde and wise words! By listening to you, as my faovorite teacher on the subject, and also buying and loving your book! 🙂⭐️👍🏻 I guess, if you like, that you could count me in of one of the, at the time, really lost souls, your wisdom and knowhow has cured and healed! 🙂 Thank you so much!! 🙂❤️⭐️‼️👍🏻 I do still like to listen to your videos, but now its more cause its very interseting to learn in general. And you are still the best to learn from! All the best from Anlaug in Norway.

[@michellerobertsmith6955]

Brilliant This explains so clearly the difference between psychotic gas lighting and narcissistic confabulation entrainment I love you for putting it out there in a very short video Bravo 🎉

[@mymysery]

Very interesting! Thank you for theses precious informations!

[@Selah1141]

It makes sense that gaslighting is a form of dissociation! Ah-ha moment for me!

[@lauraluca8378]

I love you ,man ! I don't care how this look a like ,but i do love you! And i am glad for your succes,with everything you do.Your work is fenomenal,and i thank you for just be here with us for us ,those people who are helped by you and your dedication and courage to deal with all kind of haters and envy people,maybe dayly,just to be here for us.We need you ,i need you,and your work helped me a lot ,thats why i love you.And i am glad for you.Congratulations.

[@vandolmatzis8146]

I am proud of you Prof. Well done.Thank you.

[@valevazquez7262]

Impresionante video es usted un genio

[@teachertracee]

Thank you. This has been so helpful and perfectly explained.

[@veradernovsek2612]

Congratulations!

[@reigna963]

'The narcissist gaslights himself!' Let me say something for him that he never will 'OUCH!' And you're welcome! But it truly makes surreal sense sadly....kafkaesque is putting it mildly! Bravo Prof. Sam.

[@alvinadesir5801]

Totally agree, excellent perfect explanation… massive aha… makes incredible sense… thank you ❤

[@nathansmith-nd9nq]

Thank you Sam. Always an amazing post.much appreciated.

[@lsb888]

Love your attitude❤ & chuckle

[@dianeoneil5376]

Great explanation. And congratulations, you rock Professor!

[@sandragalloway3275]

Congratulations on your Mongilian publication. 😊

[@jeannfav2921]

Congratulations on your book reaching and helping the people of Mongolia! You're so happy 😊

[@ritaesp69]

Congratulations 🎊 it’s a great book!

[@amishra8216]

Brilliant session

[@irenehigginbotham6392]

Behavioural gaslighting. That is why it is hard for others to see the gaslighting being done by the narcissist. They condition their vitim supply with behavioural cues. Then the public does not see the coercion and turn to blame the unwitting victim for being too sensitive. Its a lock for the narc, who is then aided by the reinforcement of flying monkeys operating off of erroneous information strategically given by the narc.

[@pamulawallace4330]

❤ thanks for the video,

[@CoreLabb]

Law of Assumption communities don't realize this is exactly what they are doing

[@lloydlivsey6261]

Congrats professor 🎉

[@chatticheswick4939]

Congratulations on achieving a Mongolian translation. I believe the next benchmark is a translation into Apache. "Not even Shakespeare or Dickens has been translated into Apache!" from The World According to Garp

[@charliebrown8502]

I was expecting a video where Gaslighting regarding hiding objects, misplacing them and those kind of sick behaviors were discussed. In my case, I think that type of abuse has destroyed my mind the most. Is it a behavior more common in narcissists or in psychopaths? There are very few KZbin videos talking about this, interesting taking into account that the term Gaslighting comes from a movie where that behavior is repeatedly shown. Could you please make a video about this topic? Maybe I'm wrong but I've watched tons of your videos and I think you've never addressed that stuff.

[@peiliu-qiao1344]

Knowing that you're going to collaborate with Dr Jordan Peterson is the best thing I've ever heard!

[@amberspicks547]

What about those who are both narcissists and psychopaths? How does that manifest in terms of gaslighting/confabulation?

[@samvaknin]

They act the way psychopaths do.

[@collettec4794]

Thank you for your educational videos.

[@user-ed2zo8gj9s]

When a narcissist in the beginning plays hard to get by ignoring a victim does he do that so she can chase him or is this to convince him self first that he is better than her or both? After watching this video I'm now thinking when a narcissist plays hard to get then he is gaslighting too

[@lindanicola]

Professor Vaknin, I have just received you book, Malignant Self'love 10 edition. What a big book❤

[@samvaknin]

Thank you for your business. If you find it useful, please post a review on the Amazon page of the book.

[@cristinasantosferraridealm9880]

Thank you so much for this video, prof. Sam Vaknin. I have a question, actually, I don't understand how deep are the memorie gaps for the narcissist. So, they don't remember things they've done, and this creates anxiety? Thank you for your work and I am sorry for my bad english. 😅

[@samvaknin]

Search this channel for “dissociation”.

[@mrtymek]

"you regard yourself as a figment of the narcissist's imagination" - how so? I never had such a thought, prior to learning about it. How does that manifest itself?

[@074FaTiiH]

Dat angle dooo

[@Wondr420]

Please, publish your books in German too, dear Sam.🙏😊

[@angeliquedemeijere5980]

Wow!! Mongolia🎉

[@jacktang7022]

can you do more vids on covert narcs?

[@samvaknin]

In addition to the 23 I have already made?

[@user-ii3st8yy6v]

@@samvakninlol

[@jacktang7022]

my bad prof @@samvaknin

[@garyheydenrych8114]

Prof Vaknin it takes a long time to recover from being deceived and gaslighted. My self esteem was broken almost to beyond repair. How would I prevent myself from ever getting myself in that situation. And how would I trust my judgment again.

[@samvaknin]

By watching the videos in the healing and recovery playlist.

[@garyheydenrych8114]

@@samvaknin thanks Prof

[@DJLauraTouray]

Is it possible that a Psychopath can also be a Narcissist?

[@samvaknin]

Yes.

[@DJLauraTouray]

@@samvaknin Thought so. Wow. So that then leads us to a whole other video right? Lol 😄 Please can you record one for us Sam? Love your videos 🙏👍

[@samvaknin]

@@DJLauraTouray Search this channel.

[@mattwillis1568]

Is the borderline’s confabulation similar to the narcissist’s?

[@samvaknin]

Borderlines don’t confabulate.

[@sofiaavetisian5673]

Do psychopathic narcissists gaslight or they confabulate as well?

[@samvaknin]

Confabulate. Only their BEHAVIORS are psychopathic, not their PSYCHODYNAMICS.

[@michellec3865]

How about PTSD/CPTSD/NARCISSISTIC behaviors? How do we differentiate?

[@samvaknin]

By searching this channel.

[@kaner2211]

This sounds so messed up

[@ivankakolchakova7205]

Congratulations!