When Narcissist Says X, He means Z (EXCERPT)

[@samvaknin]

Looking for help to continue to develop the chronon field theory: mathematical physicists and scholars of geometries and topologies with focus on scalar functions, Geroch functions, foliations, Reeb vectors, and matrices. More: samvak.tripod.com/chronon.pdf , iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1742-6596/845/1/012019/meta , and samvak.tripod.com/electrogravity.pdf

[@DaughterofDiogenes]

“I’m a grown ass man.” A complete red flag.

[@athinaze]

So true. They want a mother to love them unconditionally. Yes, they use people.

[@Willowtree53]

The games that people play is never ending, indeed.

[@butterflygirl3359]

This is brilliant. This is EXACTLY what my ex-narcissist did to me. Amazing how you can explain it because I could not explain it to anyone-even myself-for 17 years.

[@susanwarford4221]

I have been married to a narcissist for 56 years. Please, don’t laugh. It has not been easy for me. I knew the day after my wedding that something dark was happening to me. I have tried a five different psychologists and pretty much wasted my money. All these years I have known that my husbands problem came from his mother and that he wanted me to be his mother. Since discovering your tube channel I have been able to piece together what happened to my marriage and to some degree my relationship with my two children. My son died before I could explain myself to him which I very much wanted to do. My daughter lives very near to me and has trouble with our relationship. She is dear to me and I want to start the conversation in way that won’t send her running to the woods. Could you do a talk about communication that won’t scare to death? Many thanks for your wonderful videos. You have done a great service to mankind.

[@J.W.Little]

I'm sorry for that. Truly.

[@HeidiStewart-q8k]

The power of the cross is something few really know untill you go to the depths. The victory you will find there will surprise you. Go to the place this was dealt with and see Jesus there. He never left us alone. He's in it with you. I am trying too get a divorce from Narc now and most of his family has no idea. My daughter is the only one who knows and it's broken her to find out. You need to be healed before you can talk to your adult son. I am not a victim but a victor of the cross. I am healed. Truly. You can be too. ❤

[@Thickmilad6]

I laughed

[@sophiediscobarre944]

100. Still traumatised but I must be healing because your vides make me smile now. What really helps is referring to him as toddler clown. If he wasn't so dangerous it would be really funny.

[@Deepintent]

Any sentence said by a narcissist starting with 'I' is a false statement. I am... I know... i want... I don't... I will... I wont... I never... I just.

[@DavisMultiverse]

It could hold substance in truth... likely not in the sense that 'I...' is followed by agendas of a delusional person in the narcissist case

[@DavisMultiverse]

You can still read between the lines when you hear them talk of things

[@DaughterofDiogenes]

The thing that’s so wild is that I’ve been studying this and finally woke up last year after he had started telling me I changed. Knowing about the reverse discard I told him to his face I knew that’s exactly what he was doing because I knew he wanted to look like the good guy and push me to file for divorce. Then I started to build a community of new people around me so I can get away. Now this idiot is insisting that he loves me so much and that one day I’ll fall back in love. Dude I know you’d have my ass out this door if I hadn’t told you to your face what you were doing. Now he’s trying to find new ways to get me. Recently he’s started talking to a woman online and making sure I know. It’s literally child like behavior. I can’t help but laugh at him regularly.

[@petralee574]

I am …… a faithful husband - he says after he just got caught cheating- he disengages and immediately marries the new person to prove to himself and others that he is a faithful husband …. …. And the previous spouse/partner becomes the crazy ex . I am …. / they are ….. go hand in hand. Thank you for this explanation - very nicely articulated

[@csanchez1020]

The amnesia aspect. Why does he get so angry when I point out that last week he said one thing and this week another. Much of his lying seems strategic to gain something or as a way to abuse.

[@DaughterofDiogenes]

Same. My husband uses either extremely vague or extremely specific language to make sure that I never understand what he’s saying and that he’s always able to accuse me of misinterpreting what he’s said or making things up. It’s made worse because I have AuDHD so I struggle with understanding things anyway. Long story short I just tell him to his face that he lies and can’t be trusted so I don’t know why he bothers saying anything to me about anything and then go back to my phone games.

[@ginafarley6190]

Thank you, this explains why people with a maternal or paternal instinct are more vulnerable. We don’t get angry. How could you hurt a child? We soften when we sense the lost child, and we want to protect. It throws us off as 30:12 to what’s really going on.

[@cathrinaugusti1052]

The "perfect victim" have the good story, and the "real victim" may have a less perfect and not rehearsed story. Also that you can come to sound narcissistic telling your story, becaulse someone else already got the narrative and ran with it. Real victimhood is so mutch shame, playing the victim is having no shame.

[@nania222222]

I especially liked the explanations for the projections, aggrandizements, all the confabulations and their extensive list of rights and wrongs . They were always difficult for me to understand. It makes sense that they stem from a lacking sense of self (why nothing comes from their hearts) and dissociations with severe memory gaps.

[@csanchez1020]

I belonged to a FB group from a while. I learned a lot. I was just putting a name to my relationship. But once I spent some time there I saw the abuse. The admin would message each other behind the scenes to gang up on a posting member. When I questioned their methods and pushed back, I was asked to leave.

[@dv8578]

It amazes me the mind of a Narcissist, their ability to control and manipulate, how exhausting this must be to keep these thoughts in your mind constantly being paranoid, controlling people living with the voices. I get exhausted just thinking about it. Excellent video! certainly pertains to my life!

[@SarrenGames]

This video was extremely well timed for me. My spouse recently told me that she never knew me before, but that she was interested in getting to know me. I think she has split the 'old me' as all bad and the 'new/future me' as (hopefully) all good. I think and hope that I have improved my apology and empathy skills during this time, but I have not fundamentally changed. I know I will continue to be the same source of trauma for her moving forward in the same ways I always have. And I realize that I'm not too comfortable continuing in a relationship with someone who was apparently unable to really get to know me after years together.

[@jillmarie180]

How many people have the wherewithal to bring their malignant narcissist abusers to justice?

[@alexismerrilldragonqueen]

Best way to bring them to justice is to give them no supply and go no contact.

[@rosiereid2414]

You can’t. And if you fully understand Professor Vaknin, the desire to do so is basically a diagnosis of an illness on your part. Unfortunately, we are all victims of circumstance. It seems that the narcissists have had it quite rough as a young child. They probably have had enough. Just exit stage right, and let them become a memory. Everybody loses at this game until you let go-then at least, although you haven’t been unscathed, you will be set free!

[@rosiereid2414]

⁠ 30:12 @@leojablonski2309they themselves are victims in their young adult life often times. So I can’t make any blanket rude statements. I feel horrible that my husband was a victim of domestic abuse, and turned out this way. But in the end, he’ll be alright just like the good professor says. He will replace us. He basically doesn’t even know what he’s losing. We CAN heal, go on and forgive & go no contact--THEY will just forget & move on, as they think they have nothing to heal.

[@ZophiaSzczepaniak]

@@alexismerrilldragonqueen❤

[@CheezhOfficial]

We don't. Focus on yourself

[@SatriaBurg]

OMG, everything or even every single alphabet you said exactly matched the father of our daughter. Is like you are the CCTV IN HIS BRAIN. GENIUS GENIUS comments!!!!!!!! Beyond GENIUS!

[@petralee574]

My ex always told me: “A pussy hair pulls a battleship!” Another example of a veiled threat - if you don’t do xyz, then xxxx happens…. Which, no matter how hard I tried, still happened … devaluation, discard … etc Now, many years later, I am thinking: “It’s a broke ass battleship if it needs pulling!” No thanks. I am powering my own ship - full steam ahead

[@nania222222]

Great presentation, thank you. I have indeed seen support groups that insidiously used sarcasm and irony to describe narcissistic behaviors and went on to teach how to exert vengeance on them.

[@pamelahaze3211]

I have learned so much from you...that I have no further need of your teaching. But you are so interesting and profound.. witty.. I revisit your channel Thank you Mr Valkin.

[@samvaknin]

Vaknin.

[@pamelahaze3211]

@@samvaknin Sorry.. I'm western Canadian..and the way you pronounce your name ..sounds like it has an l... I stand corrected.

[@MapsLab-u5z]

​@pamelahaze3211 ❤ the good doctor and his eye for detail.

[@odeyinkamotunrayo4789]

Thanks so much for this message ❤

[@saraliburd7752]

I am a good guy I am happy go lucky I am a differ kind of person I am a Renaissance man I am smart I am a soldier I am honest I am open minded I am not judgemental All things the nex said

[@cameogutierrez3466]

Thank you Sam ♥️

[@helenas7416]

So enlightening, thank you Professor. Appreciate you immensely. 🎉

[@soufiabourasse2163]

thank you so much

[@katrinaburgin5772]

This really was a mind opening video. Thanks so much

[@vildanb8038]

Thank you !!!

[@thomasc.champion4066]

I don’t know if it’s been done already but it would be very interesting to hear some thoughts from the dear professor about the topic of homicide and narcissism. Specifically if this kind of abuse in anyway correlates to the occurrence of this crime in family settings or otherwise. Thanks and greatest regards

[@dacool66]

Y'know-- I just heard about you recently, from the NPD subreddit on reddit. I thought you seemed well educated and that you said a lot of things I can relate to. I am a narcissist. Though much more self-aware than most, if I had to guess. I avoud romantic and intimate relationships with others, as well as saying things like "I love you" and anything that may push an image of exceptional trustworthiness. Am I doing enough? I don't think I want to hurt people.

[@nikkicheraghipour755]

Prof Sam I have a question from you. I watched your content about how narcissistic can be contagious. Is that possible the intimate partner of the narc becomes more narcissistic than him? I think I brutally discarded my narcs husband. I didn’t cheat but I discarded him and didn’t pay care to his cries and his begging to stay. I feel awful sometimes . Thanks very much ❤

[@samvaknin]

It's like asking if you should feel bad for taking antibiotics and killing all those poor germs.

[@MapsLab-u5z]

There is no calm way with narcissists. Never feel guilty for being human. Did he care when he made you cry?❤

[@scrunglybungly]

My recent ex (I broke up with him like a week ago) told me that if I didn’t convert to Christianity for him (his new faith) that I was doing wrong and being inconsiderate, like he’s entitled to control what I believe in. 💀 Opinions?