Confession of Dismissive-Avoidant Narcissist (FULL TEXT in DESCRIPTION)

Рет қаралды 18,339

Күн бұрын

Confession of a female narcissist with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style:
"I lure potential providers of at least 2 of the 4Ss by parading the wounded child or victim and thus triggering their protective (maternal) reflexes as healers, saviors, rescuers, and fixers and their sense of justice.
When the providers seek to introduce emotions and intimacy into the relationship, I recoil aggressively, push them away, and encourage them to leave me be satisfy these needs with others.
If the resulting liaison is Platonic, at least someone else now suffers the headache. It is a relief to have gotten rid of a demanding, nagging presence. I continue to enjoy all the benefits (2 of the 4 Ss) while paying no costs in terms of scarce resources such as my time and attention.
If it ends up involving sex as well as love or intimacy, it affords me the added benefit of being able to weaponize the guilt and shame of the straying providers in order to modify their behaviors and secure the long-term availability of 2 of the 4 Ss.
I become possessive (“jealous”) only when the commitment of the providers is equivocal, when I cannot take them for granted because of their personality (promiscuous, vengeful, defiant, dysregulated) or because they regard the transaction as lopsided and are shopping for a better one."
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Пікірлер: 44

@SDaudHashmi 5 ай бұрын

I have experienced 100% what you have described. But I did not understand that, now you described it. Sometimes I am just shocked how accurate your descriptions are. Long live professor.

@kristentiveron4756 4 ай бұрын

I am stopping watching these videos. So much information that changed my life. I have to get on with my life. Quit breathing air in a dead horse. You taught me so much

@kristentiveron4756 4 ай бұрын

Thank you Sam

@lolbird2398 20 күн бұрын

Same here. I'm still stuck watching these videos.

@tearfuleye 5 ай бұрын

"Take all I want, but give nothing in return " aspect of this personality reminded me a bit of a sociopath.

@samvaknin 5 ай бұрын

Sociopath is not a clinical diagnosis. It is mostly media hype.

@tearfuleye 5 ай бұрын

@@samvaknin thank you for the clarification. I really like your chanels and your content❤ you are a great teacher.

@Gshockmaniac1 3 ай бұрын

She also has a lot of male friends and got defensive when I asked if I could meet them. I am now no longer with the her but I am still healing by trying to understanding what the heck happened! I’m left clueless. It was so amazing and then the rug got pulled from underneath me. It absolutely supersedes my logic.

@leventunver 5 ай бұрын

I imagined narcissists to be unaware of their own condition, but here, it seems a bit different, almost psychopathic.

@samvaknin 5 ай бұрын

You imagined wrong. Search the channel for "aware".

@torrellmorton 5 ай бұрын

My borderline ex-girlfriend sent me a happy birthday text message. Three weeks later, she called me a liar. Approach avoidance.

@albertviljoen4763 5 ай бұрын

@@samvaknin Does this type of Narcissist knowingly use their own childhood trauma, childhood abuse or even trumped up fictisious traumatic events to supercede her partner/friends own emotional needs? Using it as a mechanism to trigger the "care" to ensure that only her need for supply is met?

@pomhubnz-hq Ай бұрын

@@torrellmortonsequenceTIAL

@Arcticpagan 18 күн бұрын

@torrellmorton hehe one of my exes a confirmed bpd on drugs was the wildest shit I've been trough. She was a nymphomaniac a true one and no it's not fun at all but her abandonment issues was so great i could not take a trip home over the day she found somone to fuck always 😂

@Kaiwillbefoundhere 5 ай бұрын

I am extremely grateful for the information you provide us. you are truly a genius.

@alinajm5432 5 ай бұрын

This describes my ex wife so accurately. Im glad I ran and didn't look back. Her mother was even more of a wicked manipulator.

@ms.voicer3214 5 ай бұрын

This explains SO MUCH!!!

@DanSnipe-k8o 5 ай бұрын

If you don't vet your partner you can inflict a lifetime of suffering on your family.

@trystenteawithfriends8649 5 ай бұрын

I'm seeing this concept thrown around a lot lately, especially in gossip channels. Can you clarify your vetting process? Do you mean assessing first hand someone's character or something else?

@Ddemilli 5 ай бұрын

There's too much info out there on this. Look up Red flags.@@trystenteawithfriends8649

@LauraRONeill 5 ай бұрын

Yes. This phenomena explains perfectly why a DismissiveAvoidant Narcissist Wife would encourage her Codependent Husband to have a sexual relationship with another man. She lives separately, keeps friends with benefits AND refuses a legal divorce (needing to keep her partner’s financial mothering) so she texts him the nudes every few days and yet literally says to her legal husband: ‘I want you hooking up with a guy, but now, also fall in love with him too.’ i.e. She wants to have her full independence, zero demands on her time, money, physical and emotional intimacy and wants some other dude to meet her husband’s needs. But Hell no, her husband can’t move on with another woman, because then he would have a woman to compare her with…and she would lose her supply. Fascinating.

@DarkAgeProductions-g2o 5 ай бұрын

I've been involved with a dismissive avoidant for the last year. She lured me with her trauma and I've overheard her doing the same thing to others when she didn't know I was able to hear. I still am tangled up despite everything. She's never happier then when I tell her I'm going on a date with somebody new. She even likes to get me dressed up to go out with other girls. when I try to tell her i love her or want us to be closer in our relationship she runs away and gets angry and says I'm destroying her trust in me

@originalmix2546 3 ай бұрын

sounds more like a psychopath than DA

@pomhubnz-hq Ай бұрын

I'm hooked. 😂

@techi747 5 ай бұрын

we need more info on dismissive avoidant

@spinback72 2 ай бұрын

Shut up in a tower ultimately. The heart in another room.

@kshas3 5 ай бұрын

Story of my relationship

@steve.wonder817 5 ай бұрын

Spot on , i’m dealing with this right now with my wife. If you do want to talk with me, I would really appreciate it. You are the only person that has really clicked with me and you really help me realize what’s going on in my relationship. I know you are probably very busy, but I would really appreciate it if you did have some time to talk with me and I think that you would find it interesting and hopefully not annoying. I think you would be interested in the different examples that I haven’t heard you mention yet and that I would want your opinion about them.

@nestor.valentino 5 ай бұрын

I strongly suspect I am a narcissist. I'd like to start healing myself. Where can I start?

@DutchDansing 5 ай бұрын

be brutally honest and get a diagnosis by 2 different trained professionals

@samvaknin 5 ай бұрын

Watch the therapies playlists.

@Gshockmaniac1 3 ай бұрын

What if they initiate the relationship and then after a few weeks pulls away and then tells you, I told you when we met, I didn’t want to be on a relationship… is this gaslighting? This happened to me and totally blew me away. I called her out on what she said, and she won’t admit it.

@samvaknin 3 ай бұрын

It could be gaslighting (psychopath) or confabulation (narcissist). Search the channel for both.

@ahmad.s5023 5 ай бұрын

Prf sam Im flow you im from jordan I appreciate your doing

@pomhubnz-hq Ай бұрын

I just tell everyone to pay it off not days. Lol. Tick lists. Sex. Silence. Stilness.

@MilkyTea666 5 ай бұрын

Would the disorganised/fearful avoidant be similar? A lot of the sign where there but because she told me her attachment style was FA I put it down to that.

@samvaknin 5 ай бұрын

Search the channel for "attach".

@sladaslada1616 5 ай бұрын

Sin grandiozni a muz prikriveni,tako da odrasli sin 30 godisnjak drzi pod kontrolom oca prikrivenog narcisa tako da sam ja vecinom zasticena jer otac se boji sina i sve uradi kako se ovaj ne bi razbjesnio i napada oca ako se pozalim na njega.Mozetel nesto reci na takav odnos?