Scarred for Life: Why I Dread Intimacy in Adult Friendships

[@DivineOmozokpia]

Adult friendship is harddd!! I have had friendship heartbreak far too many times than i can count. I sometimes sit back to reminisce on what went wrong, like am I the problem? Did I show them that I loved them too much? I was/am genuinely happy for these people. Where do I even begin? Is it my childhood family friend male bestie who relocated to the US without telling me? Mind you, we were in our late teens/early 20's when he relocated and I did not even know. He left, got married and had a kid after a while and I saw all these updates on social media. Or my high school female bestie who "cut me off" simply because she was getting married; that was early 20's (we were 21 years old to be precise). Another close friend from undergrad uni who relocated to Canada for MSc; I literally had a video call crying my eyes out when she left but after her relocation, we just drifted apart. I think the one that broke the camel's back was my supposed close female cousin, literally my 5&6 who relocated to Canada but never informed me; her mum said her school travels just happened overnight. Like I'm an illiterate who doesn't know long this process takes? Lol! Her dad's burial was barely 3 months after her departure and I still travelled to the village to represent her for the burial like it was my father who died. I did not let the fact that she kept me in the dark about her relocation affect our relationship. However, after the burial, I stopped seeing her WhatsApp status, it was from a mutual contact's screenshot posts I realised that she shared her Canadian number with her but not me. How petty right? If I had not travelled to the abroad myself, I probably would have thought there was a special breeze that affects their brains oversea. I am not "poor" nor "ugly" oh, and I was and still am doing well for myself by His Grace, so none of these were the case; I needed this disclaimer. As a believer, I genuinely mean well for these people and do not wish them bad at all. Guess what? This video came timely today because the said cousin replied my Facebook story wishing me happy birthday on the 3rd and said she missed me. Lord knows I have forgiven these people but I sure have not forgotten, and probably may not forget because it scarred me. It affected how I relate with "genuine new friends." I love them but keep them at arm's length and do not expect too much, just the barestttt minimum to avoid unnecessary heartbreak. Whew! Typing all of these was quite therapeutic for me. Not sure if I still need to see a therapist because I really loveeee and appreciate videos of genuine friendships I see online. I know it's not rosy all the time and sometimes it could be bumpy, but now that I am growing older, I genuinely think that a part of me is willing to try again. Thank you for sharing your experience, Tolulope. I cannot wait to heal completely from mine. So help me God!

[@anebimartha913]

You're a good person with a good heart, that's why those "little" things hurt so much. You love deeply, just a pity many people don't appreciate the good people in their lives. May God heal your heart.❤

[@DivineOmozokpia]

@@anebimartha913 Amen! Thank you so much for the kind words sis, I appreciate you. 🙏

[@opeyemiakinbobola5551]

You are a sweetheart,kind and beautiful your tribe will find you and when it does it will be wholesome ❤️❤️

[@Nostressmum]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@Nostressmum]

Can I be your friend ?????

[@TolulopeAraAlade]

“This is not a place for you guys to be dissecting me ; I’m sorting that out in therapy. Thank you very much” - Tolulope Solutions 😁❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@comfortugorji7568]

Weldone dear for having to talk about this topic. . .it hurts real deep. I've been trying to get over my experiences 😩

[@boluwatifeesther3270]

Growing up, when my mum used to say in Yoruba “I don’t have any friend.. My husband is my only friend” It didn’t make much sense to me. But now I understand! 😂

[@Nostressmum]

I don’t do cliques or cycles of friends, I can only have a bestie for myself. I am still praying for my own friend from God. I can’t even believe I am 38 without any friend. Lord send me my own friend. Thanks sols for sharing

[@Anu-dg4kl]

I feel you sis, same age, hate cliques too but it's hard getting that one person that is down and really understands me.. God grant our heart desires....

[@deborahannie-si9oq]

I’m also trusting God for a “just one same energy kind of friend”

[@owolabiiyanuoluwa5356]

Please,Can I be your friend?

[@Ashani-b1f]

​ Same here , I crave for besties that are genuinely saved. Sometimes, I feel maybe everyone is not meant to have besties

[@momomamabaebae]

SAME HERE. STILL PRAYING TO GOD FOR MY OWN FRIEND 😢

[@Flourish_today]

I recently moved to the US from Canada. About 9 years ago i travelled to Atlanta for a conference, met some lovely ladies who live in the US and we connected. We started a wassup group to keep in touch. A few dropped out of the group along the way but me and about 4 others remined. After moving to the US i messaged one of the ladies who lives about 26min away from me. We reconnected and it was so good after many years. After several meet ups, i realized how much this lady loves to gossip and i started to get drained. I have completely removed myself from any meet ups. Im just so done with gossiping about people as if i dont have any sins. Have not seen this lady since the last time we met and i honestly do not want to explain my self to her so thats it.

[@victorioussisters3307]

I thank God that He gave me a heart that is easy to let go! Once I see red flags I let go and I always enjoy hearing my footsteps walking away from drama, jealousy and negativity. I’ve never ever had a best friend even as a child. Yes, I’ve been hurt by some friendships but I’m happy that I never held on to them at all.

[@omoladeakinbowale8622]

Hmmmm! Recently I got to realize people are in our lives for so e seasons. And since then, I don't feel emotional about it. Thank you so much ma'am.

[@alabiesther8120]

I don't do well with friendship cliques. Once we are more than 2 like this, i just know it cant work and recently, i don't even try to get bothered anymore.

[@oluwanifemiadetona5749]

This is so me. Can't deal with cliques.

[@successareeveso]

This! I agree

[@momomamabaebae]

SAME HERE

[@sther_blovy]

The first I think is over familiarity that caused it, because when you don see person finish,it haf finished 😂 Dear T ,one thing I have come to accept is that I have come to see myself as a bridge for whatever God want to do in people's life,so if no accolade or thanks come after all the good things year after,All the glory will still be to God.

[@victoriasunmomi3162]

This post came timely. I have been struggling with these for few weeks now. I noticed people tends to show their true side if they're not really benefiting from you anymore. And sometimes we treat our friends the way we want to be treated and one thing is 98% of them will not reciprocate this back to you. They do what they do intentionally to scar you. I was even told that "this will teach you a lesson and you will stop being nice to everyone" Going forward, adult friendship will not sink into me anymore. Everyone should be bearing their father's surname.

[@candywalters4065]

Very true

[@Opeyemi_salami]

The last part 😍

[@oluwatobiadereti]

Really! This is timely

[@oreoluwaosaghiwere6412]

Your last statement 😭😂

[@folasadeakintunde4254]

Some friends are for a season

[@phemiaworld1242]

One needs God's wisdom for this Adult friendship, it actually hurts when you don't get the same energy you give. Lately it has been alot for me, yesterday i saw my self thinking all thru thank you for this video, much needed now.

[@deborahannie-si9oq]

This I will say is the most draining aspect of adult friendship, not getting the same energy you put into it!!!! Kai…… I can’t deal with these kinds of friendship anymore!!!

[@noliviane]

I also feel like my energy is not usually matched , but it’s well. Your videos are always timely! The Lord will give us wisdom to navigate . One prayer I always pray is that God will help me love everyone the way he wants and requires me to love them and to give me a pure heart ❤

[@victorypersonified]

Emphasis on your energy not being matched because that is the case with me but I don't know what to do? Ever since I entered the university I tried to make friends but people I tried connecting with never wanted to connect with me and that made me a loner all through my uni days.

[@shellyjoe]

Ha!!! This video...hmmmm. i will just simply say,'Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share'. Much appreciated and extremely relatable.

[@Petra_Nyiawung]

Yes, we woukd love fo hear about the 10yrs lost friendship that has been revived. Personally, ive always been the villain and ive accepted it. But its always how they come back years later to try to fit in into the circle after labeling me names. Well, thank God for such seasons because they were the water that helped to mix m sand cement together. Today, i have a friend sister and companion in a single soul. Im blessed to have her. 11yrs of friendship and counting... Thank you, Solutions for sharing. You look great,btw.❤❤❤

[@OluwatoyinFaith]

I hold friendship really dear, but I've not been lucky with it. It hurts deeply but I'm making peace with it. Your stories are similar and over again, i feel so broken.

[@omolaraabiodunokubule4419]

Thanks for sharing your experience. Guys, when we are the type that go over and beyond for people get ready for scars that can really really shut you down. They use you till they think they don’t need you again.

[@ariyotolulope4878]

Finally! This further proves that I'm not strange😭😊

[@sther_blovy]

We rock same boat boo,I used to think I was an alien but since i can stay by myself n still be happy...I day okay

[@its_feyikemi]

To be honest, friendship breakups are more painful than relationship breakups. I lost (not to death) a 'best' friend in 2020 and 4years later, still struggling to heal completely from that scar.

[@gloriaabolaji2753]

I agree, still feels the hurts

[@theskincarefixer]

Dear Tolu, I can totally relate with all you've said. Friendship betrayals & breakups are the worst. The heartbreak is on another level to be honest, but thank God for fortitude, inner strength & self-awareness to know yourself beyond how people may treat you, especially when it's unfair.

[@bolanlesoares2514]

The amount of communication required and some people are not very considerate. The worse is when you take people more than they take you

[@GloriaEjay]

I love how chill you were in this video… even though you were talking about friendship hurts… I’ve also experienced a fair share of mine tbh, now I don’t have intimate friends like that. Thanks for Sharing Sis ❤

[@joytimini2746]

Friendship breakups are really underrated 😢and so painful

[@chinatumusic]

I am telling you

[@comfortugorji7568]

Honestly dear

[@Flourish_today]

Very painful but also much needed in certain situations.

[@omorinm9264]

Thank you for sharing your experiences Tolulope Solutions. I believe it took a lot of courage for you to do this video. And it’s good to know that you’re taking responsibility for working through things in therapy. It’s truly commendable. I have close girlfriends, 2 especially that I went to secondary school and university with. We have been friends for over 30yrs. We all live in different continents now so our frequency of communication has changed over the years. However, we know that we’ve got each other’s back. When we know better, we should do better. We live and learn. Every day is a school day. God remains our Helper🙏🏽

[@deborahannie-si9oq]

I’m someone that is always willing to go over and beyond for my friends….. literally…. Like I’m “the go to person” that person my friends can always call when they need someone or something done… but I can’t really say my friends can do same for me honestly and it’s making me detach from friends and changing that” wholesome lover to my friends” to a person that holds back or is just indifferent and it’s just a defense mechanism of avoiding scarred friendships…🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[@DeborahVictor-Ayoola]

Solutions Mama. Thank you for this vulnerability. It must have taken a lot. Listening to you, therapy has started for me already. Truly adult friendship can be a lot. Personally, I’m big on friendships and from the feedbacks I get from my friends I’ll say I’ve been doing well not like I’m perfect though but Omo it can be a lot sometimes. Thinking about some friendship scars sometimes just hurts and I shed a tear or two. Currently dealing with a friendship issue that I’m trying not to address immediately cause I don’t want to over react because if it’s left to how I’ve been feeling, everybody dey your dey would have been my response but I’m trying to take time to process it. I know what to do but I don’t just even have the strength plus I’ve been struggling with the friendship connection recently and I’m trying to give excuses based on the fact that I’ve been dealing with a lot recently so I’m addressing the feelings one by one. That part of helping someone and then it looks like you did nothing hits differently but again thank God we do the things we do for God. Thank you for sharing this. It means a lot. You might not know how much but it does means a lot. God bless you.

[@ofureadomi]

It’s jealousy that makes them behave that way. They are not used to love, they prefer people who treat them with the barest minimum to people who have so much love for them.

[@CbosEasyRecipes7]

First time seeing this channel, hello 😊 Thank you for sharing on this topic 💖💖💖

[@nwachukwumarvellous8420]

I could relate so much to this video. Still finding it difficult to navigate adult friendships but didn’t realize why until you mentioned therapy and it just clicked. Started thinking about the friendship hurts that I dealt with in secondary school and how it has affected me making friends and all. Hmm it is well. Thanks for sharing ma’am 🙏🏾

[@gloriaabolaji2753]

Had similar experience few years ago. I To say I was disappointed was an understatement. Almost went into depression. Since then, I locked up. No friendship again. Now, very lonely. I wish I have a loyal friend like myself.😢

[@olabisicakesandconfectioners]

Awesome episode, i appreciate you for talking about it. Well, i have my own experience too. And i just make up my mind not to go into relationship anymore.

[@serahkalebs]

So sorry for your bad experience with the ungrateful lady,but I really wonder how big a deal it is for people to show gratitude,it’s sickening.”Thank you”,should even be said randomly to everyone no matter how little a thing they’ve done for you.this topic in general is a very important one and also relatable.Thank You for bringing it to your timeline❤

[@foyinlolasworld6072]

Adult friendships require so much intentionality mehn I've had my fair share n I've learnt lessons, just grateful to God n for the beautiful friendships I still have around me😊 Yes please I'm interested in hearing about the friend u reunited with😊

[@cookwithvee7798]

I have never really been one to admire click of friends or friendship circle especially on very close and intimate levels. I love to be close with each friend with little or no interference from other mutual friends… I just love one on one friendships. And I try not to be very close with the friends of my close friend.. I keep a healthy distance… when the Lord gives you a true friend, that one friend compliments every part of you…There is little to no misunderstanding..

[@deborahannie-si9oq]

Omo! Adult friendship is hard……. Especially when you are someone that isn’t afraid of being vulnerable and is an extreme lover…..

[@olujonzin]

I’ve stopped being that…abeg…can’t deal.

[@obiwaleabigaelchannel]

Thank you for sharing this momma. I am a young adult who has some friendship scars as teenager... right now i have a 5year old clique of three thriving well by God's grace. I don't have any intentions of having more intimate female friends than this two, i don't think i can manage

[@elainestv8765]

Your brows are giving ❤❤❤❤

[@Hadassahs_crib23]

lol! My present situation right now with my best lady who used to be a very good friend like very close! Still trying to understand why our friendship has gone so cold like could it be marriage and having kids? Well I have also gone along with the flow of little or no communication after all we’ve all got things on our plate, I still pray for her though and just like the Yoruba adage, ogun omode ole shere fun ogun Odun. So it’s part of adulting, just make sure that your friendship with your spouse is well guarded, no more besties outside marriage!

[@ElizabethNonsoDare]

About friendship, there's just something about it and I hope the holy sport gives us wisdom and revelation. I feel even I might have hurt people too, but there's just something horrible and heartbreaking about it

[@chandykalu]

One of my friend then! Was pregnant and didn't tell me the fact that we were on calls every now and then and not even one time did she mention she was pregnant only for me to see her post on Facebook that she had a baby! My heart skipped a beat 😭and upon me calling her she said she was paying me back what she thought I did to her 4 years ago! When I was pregnant and didn't tell her. Mind you I was not even close to her then and didn't know she has carried this for so long! Since then, the friendship has never been the same for me. Even though she apologized and all, but it was so bad. 😭

[@iyanuoluwaogunmiluyi5690]

Thank you for being vulnerable. The second scenario is very painful.😢 Friendship is not easy o. We thank God for the ones that are loyal

[@OluwaseyiTV]

I'm just laughing and tears coming out of my eyes because I can relate to all these stories 😢😢😢😂😂😂

[@helenibekwe1653]

Please a part two will be highly appreciated ooo😅😅😅😅

[@mabelscorner20]

This video is for me... ahhhh Some friendship breakups are good for your mental health.

[@omotoke7517]

Adult friendship.is huge ooo,u r a great,i had a best friend n as an only girl,dat friendship meant alot to me then ,but after the experience,i know that if we ever meet we will walk past each other,no stress.

[@mumindata]

Friendships breakups is alot...Especially when you're misunderstood

[@Realtalkwithmoms]

Eeewwww! The story of my life…

[@toulackbonwi6836]

DoNOT let the ingratitude of others, stop Your blessings. Keep giving n doing good. ❤❤❤ Ahhh mama solutions @tolulope ....u r a huge blessing to me❤❤. Thank you for this video

[@Auntypat]

The song at the end was just perfect for today's video 😊

[@theladyengineer]

It's the "I don't discuss my fiance with other people"😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@lizzyakodu1336]

Hmmmm At times you need it. A man is not an island 🏝 Look for responsible people.

[@sylviakelechi7698]

As in very mean I think she was scared she must have shared some of her secrets with the guy

[@chatwithZoe]

I can absolutely relate with this particular content. Absolutely!

[@fiyinfoowolabi3730]

I can totally relate to everything you said. Friendships are tough and so hard !!!!! God help us

[@foluthebridge5269]

Please tell us about the 10 year friendship that got revived ma🤭. I’m also very wary of adult friendships. I come off as a hard girl but I have a very soft heart. I get hurt easily. And yeah, there is retentive memory. I have someone in my circle that I’m still not very much comfortable. I still question some of the things she does. Times I try to give benefit of doubt, she does things that make me go back to ground zero. Like, how can I trust you when you’re giving off two personalities?? Whewww,adult friendship is a lot😢

[@adegbolaoluwawamiri3027]

Expecting Thank you from a friend isn’t even too much to ask for. It’s not pride oooo… even God Dey vex if we no say thank you when he does something for us

[@bangibabs]

It shows appreciation and it shows you are not using your friends.

[@winfridahchibale5281]

I love this video... it's so true...I have a lot of boundaries coz am always there for friends but no one is there when I need a friend...so I always put myself first....... make a part 2 TOLU

[@abiolawilliams8250]

Thanks for sharing your experiences. Toxic friends mehnn, you're not alone on this table.

[@mansurahalashe973]

Adult friendship is premium shege. Some relationships are just never the same after that. I’ve been there. It’s even harder when you have mutual friends

[@theladyengineer]

You look lovely, the colour of your shirt complements your complexion ❤

[@adeolaobasekola]

Your second story is almost EXACTLY how I lost my 10years best friend. Broke me and still hurts. Some ladies need to do and be better.

[@florenceTKola-Ishola]

I have gone through it too many uncountable times. I am always keeping boundaries now. Adult friendship is the most difficult. Mine too started as child. To avoid repeated heartbreak keep them afar

[@olajumokeakosile1386]

9:13 That's the first shege had me laughingggggg😂😂😂

[@oluwatosinchristiana9040]

Wowwwww. Thank you for sharing your experience. Truly adult friendships are no joke. It takes a lot of maturity, humility and the Help of the Holy Spirit. And you see that clique thing, count me out. I always tell myself that my friend's friends are not automatically my friends. I'm too fragile for any unnecessary drama 😅

[@GloriaEjay]

I absolutely love your earrings 😍❤️

[@theebelovedfavorlyn]

OMG!! I loved this video!!! Honestly I'm always so excited when you post❤ I think for me, I'm realizing how to handle where people place me especially after they've already shown me.

[@Seun4Jesus]

Thanks for being real.

[@adelekegraceoluwafunmike6634]

I remember how I notified a friend that I turned sister, took her home and all of a job. My parents were disturbing me of the status of the job. She just ghosted me and I heard from a mutual friend that she got a job. Years later, she called to come and best her for wedding. I turned that down and I learnt to stop getting used. I only give you the same energy you dish out.

[@Ladymar1_mg]

That’s their lost Tolulope. I don’t personally know but, I can tell that you are a decent person with a great heart. You are the kind of friend I need. Please be my friend😘

[@Healthymealswithvic]

I gave up my fashion scholarship slot to a big fashion brand to a friend because I felt she needed it more, help her with her pitch and resume, till tomorrow I didn't get a thank you and right now we dont talk anymore and she feels like a big fashion designer now. It hurts so much tho, and I feel like I haven't gotten over it. Also, I had a friend from childhood, our families know each other. Her mum slipped out the information about her getting married more than a year ago and she relocating to the UK more than a year ago. It broke me tho. Adult friendship will test you.

[@martekimartey7649]

Awww sorry about this

[@Healthymealswithvic]

@@martekimartey7649 Thank you

[@sther_blovy]

I have learnt from similar thing but my take home I learnt is that ,if it's not God Touching my heart to do so for you ,sorry that Good thing too I deserve it too.😂

[@pharmclare]

I am not big on friendship because of these experiences. Thanks for sharing

[@onyinyeesimai]

Thank you for sharing , your friendship stories are so relatable 😢

[@chineloann8047]

I really understand this stuff, honestly. I would recommend a book though, friendship with women by Dee, it's an amazing book and could really help.

[@chinemeremjoy6343]

Someone like me that is really sceptical about friendships. My "best friend" I think, lost that trust from the very day she said " I want to compete with you", I meannnnnnn. I on my own end have thought of 100 possible negative ways she can compete with me and it's scary, has to share with my family because this kind did not just say it out of the blues, she has thought of it before saying it, I thought I got a friend to stay but I've not told her my resentments about her. I don't want a competition, I rather be alone. And she doesn't know how to sacrifice either, I get withdrawn easily cos I'm really sensitive

[@SymplyLizzy]

Friendship is definitely not for me😂. So i have this friend we lived together for 3years plus and whenever she wants to introduce me anywhere she would say "Meet my Flatmate" and when i introduce her to anyone i say "meet my Friend". Since i noticed her ways of introducing me i also respected myself and stepped back a bit although we still talk but in my mind she's not my friend really plus I'm older so i just ignored and didn't ask about it

[@Sodina30]

I personally didn’t think too much of this. My friend and I are roommates in uni and we are really close. Sometimes I introduce her as my roommate to people and didn’t think there was an issue.

[@martekimartey7649]

Me too😂😂😂, when one said meet my neighbor I said ah ah🤣🤣 She called me to open our gates so that she packs their cars for her engagement but she didn’t invite me and when she gave birth to her first,she asked my dad to tell me to come visit and with her 2nd I was like naah, let’s keep our boundaries as neighbors 😂

[@martekimartey7649]

@@Sodina30well that’s if you’re not really friends but if you’re more than roommates and you believe you’re maybe you should check it cos it can be someway She might not say it your face though

[@Sodina30]

@@martekimartey7649 lol We are definitely friends I think it makes me feel better saying we are roommates. Because I have to be really good friends with you to choose you as my roommate Over 3 years of being roommates. And it has been amazing. It’s not a big deal tho, everyone knows we are friends, it’s just sweeter knowing that we are also roommates.

[@lifewithann2]

No matter how people treat me I will not stop helping. Cause I see how God raised men to help me. So even when someone I show up for disappoint I go vex but I know another stranger is gearing up to help me.

[@olujonzin]

Oh yes, but I guard my heart even as I help. I expect nothing in return for my help so it doesn’t hurt when they do act in line. I do have beautiful friendships but we respect our boundaries.

[@omolaraabiodunokubule4419]

My stories has been back to back where do I even start. Right now my brain and energy has been shut down with scars

[@abenahcnb1994]

I don't do best friends thing too. Am glad it's something that others dont do as well it saves alot

[@olutayoositelu769]

This your second sentence is somehow. Adult friendship is hard though. It's something we should pray for and work for because it's a blessing when you have one and be one too.

[@OluwadamilolaAmeen-p3j]

Same here oo. I don't do well with cliques.But I admire those that do and are doing great with it.

[@seyiolay]

It’s all good vibes o! Love ❤️ & light 💡

[@T.L.O]

Please talk about the 10 years friendship reconnect in another video 🙏

[@tryde_d]

Thank you for sharing ❤

[@Allaboutidera]

I have a friendship heartbreak as well that I know can never be the same again because they don’t show me the same care I show them

[@MusiFaithFri]

I agree with you that Adult friendship is hard.

[@JourneywithJuditha]

This video 😂😂😂laughing and crying. I can totally relate.adult friendships are hard.but i put in effort to communicate clearly in my friendships. I.cant stand friends who dont communicate if and when they feel hurt. Silent treatment is a friendships killer!!

[@Chebandoma]

I don’t really have mutual friends in my friendship circle and I think it has helped me manage my friends well

[@aLifetoLove_]

Thank you for sharing this! Honestly, conversations like this need to be had

[@Tuoyoede]

Hmmmm Ladiesssss! 😔 One female adult friendship shege that I too have experienced is ghosting. This happened my first year working (2018) and this is someone who we were so close in university. After graduation, she stayed with me and my family for sometime, we were prepping for professional exam together and when nysc time came and she was posted to Kano, she was devastated. She didn't know anyone there and didn't know what to do. I told my Mum cos I have family in Kano and they accepted to host her (very nicely, if I might add) throughout her NYSC year. She even worked with my Uncle for some time. Then even after NYSC, she had an interview in Lagos and I wasn't at home at the time. I just told her to go to the house, my parents hosted her then. Long story short, we were finally working in the same company (different depts) and at a point I hadn't seen her for some time. I reached out and she said she had been sick. I was like sorry, get well soon and all that. But when it was getting to a month if being away, I started getting worried cos I knew she didn't take special sick leave so I was worried about her job and all that. At this point, she wasn't responding to my messages/calls. I even called her Mum and she just gave me a vague response. Till today, i really don't know what happened. That was the end of that friendship oh! The final message I sent in that period was just saying "I've tried my best, I'm hurt you did this but if this is what you want, I wish you well". Then in 2020, she sent a message apologizing for being unfair to me. I just said apology accepted and moved on. But like Tolulope said, some things you just don't forget🤷🏾‍♀️.

[@adenijiifeoluwa5573]

Adult friendship requires a lot of self determination ( got to know this quite late) friends has shown me shege and I usually cry when this happens coz am so close to tears. Theses are the people I literally open up to, put first in all that I do but I ended up being the villain 😅😅😅. Sometimes when I remember those silly things I just smile. But I have I have a friend , sister, bestest, aunt in one particular human being now ❤. She literally sent me this video on WhatsApp (I love you oluwadamilola) ❤

[@gloriaabolaji2753]

Good for you. I am still believing God for a true and loyal friend like myself (Oluwadamilola)🥰🥰

[@ruthmuma8693]

You have so much confidence in yourself ❤❤❤. I watch and I'm amazed😊. God bless you

[@opeyemiakinbobola5551]

Oya talk about it ooo🤣🤣🤣 Shout out to friends that do not come with any wahala God bless them

[@joyolubunmi6445]

Thank you for sharing mama, you are so beautiful by the way😍😍Amazingly, God has blessed me with amazing adult friendships

[@rarosueblessing3319]

Had a friend of 25 years who did introduction and I didn't know ooo. Even told me not to do anything on her marriage day. She just wants me to come and sit down

[@templeobk303]

Really She is not your friend, u are her friend. ..one sided friendship

[@itohanmercyadejobi5661]

I have had my share of friendship hurts in the past. As I got older I began to pray to God to demystify my friendships and relationships with others. He answered! He began to give me grace, wisdom and patience to navigate through. Essentially regardless of the hurts and past disappointment, same sex friendship play a pivotal role in our lives. We just need to ask God to guide us through.

[@haircarebymimi408]

Watching this for the second time within 5hours......nice video 😊😁

[@RUYINAETENGsMEDICDIARY]

Thank you for sharing this❤

[@patiencejoe1288]

Never been lucky with really nice adult friendship. It’s now a prayer point for God to give me a quality age mate female friend bcs I want to experience genuine friendship ❤

[@ChikasDiasporaDiaries]

I am soo on this table😅 Growing up, I always heard my mum saying ‘you can’t trust friends’ so unconsciously I just became extremely self-reliant for my own good. When others were forming friendships I was there reading my book and being self-reliant😩😩😩🫠. So it takes a Herculean effort for me to sustain friendships now Let’s hear the 10 year revival story😌😌😌 Mama Solutions and congratulations on the book launch again🎊🎊🎊🎉🎉🎉

[@TechFave]

I don't discuss my fiancee with other people😂😂😂😂..no vex Tolulope, i have stories for days.

[@mindshiftseriesacademy]

Oh Tolu! I feel you ... Weldone 🌹💐💕

[@Averylovelylady12345]

I can relate . I’m glad I’m not abnormal. I don’t want any friend. Apparently my Mum was and is right. I don’t need FRIENDS

[@seyifunmijuba9813]

A

[@thedanielagboola]

I don't want is different from I don't need

[@everlynebaraza3503]

I would love to hear how you navigated the reconnection after 10yrs coz I tried one and the vibe wasn't just the same. See eeh, there are things friends do, you forgive them but you just cant forget so after a while I just couldn't keep up and I had to call it quits and yeah she was so broken 😢. Aaah like you say; God is our combined strength.

[@Lady_Uyi]

😊 enough shege. I have tried not to keep count. I don't even remember most anymore.

[@aliceolawuyi260]

❤❤❤so sorry darling….i literally don’t know how to keep friends…..I love my space so much….😅😅😅I have starting but my ending with keeping friends is so poor….😅😅😅