Stop Picking Up Women - Start Having Fun With Them Instead

Trying to go out regularly picking up women in bars and clubs can be mentally draining - While you try to learn all these social skills, you are constantly facing a barrage of rejection, and you can quickly find yourself worn out and
The truth is that what many men forget while trying to learn to attract women, the most important thing they should be doing is having fun. If you're not having fun with women, then they're not going to want to go on a date with you.
I'm going to tell you my own story of how I suddenly improved my success with women by focusing on having fun rather than on trying to pick up women.
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School Of Attraction
Dating And Relationship Coach
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Facebook: / schoolofattraction
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[@YourWingmam]

Definitely have fun and get her laughing. Keep it light and playful, life is too serious. *Laughing releases endorphins that she associates with being with you!* Your energy is contagious. Great video!

[@AlessandroStamatto]

I liked the mega straw one where you pretend you're going to steal her drink 😂

[@wescoast36]

Right? Too bad about the mega straw ban, I woulda liked to try that one

[@0909umcia]

My friends are married so I go out on my own to a club. I figured you can meet some spontaneous wingmen there. One guy seemed friendly so I said hello, how are you doing. Later on I was dancing and wanted to ask that girl for a dance but was too shy for it. I saw this guy came by, I told him "listen, that blonde likes you I think" (that was honest, I really did notice something). He did not do anything about it, so I said: I will try my luck with her to see whether it's me or really you. And I had to approach her and I did. She did not want to dance but that's not the point. That simple trick made my anxiety nearly totally go away and made the approach a nothing-burger.

[@robwelch1]

Good advice.. Have fun!

[@BoakesJohn]

Great video

[@kerryfoster1]

Good video, great information, But i would like to see some pictures or video to give it more visual appeal.

[@nz7004]

Love your videos, recently divorced, so back In the dating game. Stumbled on these. Keep it up. Thanks

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Cheers bud!

[@grawakendream8980]

I feel like this puts a lot of pressure on social situations that isn't there. I subscribe more to the ideas in your social intelligence videos, where you just immerse yourself in socializing with everyone. Play starts emerges from that process after a long period of consistency, taking away the necessity to try and change ones personality in a probably unsustainable way. just food for thought. appreciate your work!

[@sambosnake21]

I don’t know how I stubbled across you on KZbin but I am sooo glad I did! You changed my way of thinking, that’s there is more to it than just saying the right thing! Etc etc (And I will never just ask how someone’s day or weekend was on tinder ever again... 😑😂) Looking forward to your audiobook and researching your old videos! Cheers Man! 😎👍

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Cheers Sam!

[@gsg6667]

Absolutely, my best night was a bunch of eastern european girls in a posh bar in auckland , my mate and his brother with me, visiting from overseas, we see these hotties getting followed by a guy with a camera , i walk up and ask if they're models and whats with the camera . Note that im eastern european too so rapport was easy. She asks me back, "why are you an agent?" I paused , then i was like "iiiiiiiii really wanna say yes right now" she laughed , we hung out with them for the rest of the night. The whole night we were in the fun zone talking shit as damien says . By the time we got to the bar i was in a playful mood so yeah women wanna meet people to have fun with , its all i read on these profiles :p

[@stefanotrimboli5116]

Good reminder, Damien. Fun first. Women will be a by-product of it and rejection will not put you down that much. Piece of advice: try not to snap your tongue on your palate when you start talking again (13:13 for instance, but you do it quite often). Keep growing that beard, it suits you! ;) Til the next time!

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Cheers Stefano, yes it's a by product of buying time to think, sort of like a replacement for 'um' but it's still a bad habit I gotta try and break ;)

[@Straga_Severa]

As a person who strictly does not drink alcohol and has no friends in real life, I find it very hard to follow this advice. My idea of "socialising" consists of meeting with few other people and rolling the d20s. I have fun, but I cannot convert this fun to dates - there are only a few girls, and they are almost always are coming to tabletop RPGs with they boyfriends.

[@ProfWho-ut5he]

After a certain age it's difficult to find guys to go out. People are so busy with work, family etc.. Having fun is OK, but never brought any girls into my life. Where do you find them (attractive & single)? All women worth approaching I ever met (going out more than 4000 times) were already married or in a relationship. How to find them?

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Yeah mate, honestly that's harder as your mates all get older - But in most cities there are communities of single guys around - some cities are better for this than others to be sure.

[@ProfWho-ut5he]

@@SchoolOfAttraction Thanks. True, but it doesn't solve the problem of lack of attractive, single women (30+y). They seem not to exist. And if you go out with x friends, that means that any woman will pick you with 1/x probability. I'm good looking, successful, world traveler, fit, high status, published author, entrepreneur, women usually like me a lot, etc.. but I'm still not able to find a girlfriend. Not even dates. It's a mystery to me.

[@ceeIoc]

Axel Hart hobbies are your best bet. Bars and clubs are a waste of time.

[@causeno1048]

0:50 At the moment having fun in a flirting seems unattainable. I can feel in my heart it should be but.. at the moment it's just wrestling with one bad emotion after another. No idea how to get from here to there.

[@rbcompound3774]

Hey man, just slowly try to have fun. You might ask how, well there's a lot, start with your topics and the way you talk as a start, you can figure out things on the way. Slowly jsut get used to having fun man. You can do it.

[@SandTguy]

That's great idea. But how do You find guys that would want to ack like that. I have very little friends and there all ready married and have kids. Also I do not see the guys even remotely would do that. I have anxiety and social anxiety. Though I do get out I have no social networks or social circles. It's just me. And I do not go out at night. Though there is very little time left for me. I am already in my middle 40s and I am not a youg man anymore. I have health problems and I am just not in the best of shape. Though I am not fat I would say I am below average WM 6"2 tall. But have never had a date in my life no have I ever had a girlfriend. I have never even kissed before. Hell I do not even know how to know what women's age is just by looking at them. The last thing I want to do is go up to a women that might look like a adult but she is really a 15 to 16 year old. You just can not tell these days females that look so much older and taller. But they are really could pass as Your kids.

[@russianamerican7397]

Most of my life I dated and was married to very beautiful women. With years and my military career, with scars even few on my face and tats that scream military. I lost ability to get women to be interested in me, before it was 8/10 I like I can get easy, as few I do end up hooking that I like I often find out from them saying same thing in different words. I have unapproachable demeanor and look dangerous, though I am very attractive, plus my height and build and accent is big bonus. I am born and raised Russian. Recently retired from the army, so I am in late 30s but no one ever gives me over 30. Yeah, I was blown up, but nothing body changing, just quite few surface scars and cut my face in few places. I am fucking stunned bc I feel like my appearance creates a wall women can't cross anymore apparently. I do wear shit kickers and leather jacket usually bc I ride my cruiser. It gets annoying women saying I am attractive but unapproachable. WTF does it even mean???

[@cxaz10]

I think evolutionary women want a dangerous man, but against the dangers of the world, not against them. Maybe you are giving threatening vibes? Or maybe they think you may be having already 10 chicks on the side, as good looking as you say you are, so they don't bother...

[@Straga_Severa]

I don't really understand, how is it fun to get rejected, laughed at and received rude words. Also, this idea does not really translate itself to the day game - and because I'm strictly non-alcoholic person, the night game is unavailable to me.

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

So the fun is mean to be in the conversation - it's meant to be your primary goal, not the woman - It sounds paradoxical but it's important.. Also, I haven't drunk alcohol in 15 years, and I still love night game.

[@Straga_Severa]

@@SchoolOfAttraction Ehm, how it is fun to have a conversation where you are rejected and made fun of? No, seriously? And... how? I never even tried to do the night game, because I really abhor drugs (and alcohol is a drug in my terms), and even if I'm not preaching it and if I think that it's everybody's choice - to put this liquid into the mouth or not - from my experience, people really don't like a sober person in an alcohol environment. I really do not understand the logistics of it. (I bought your book, by the way - thank you, it is really cool, and partly because of it I'm going on a date this saturday, after a ten years break =-) )

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

I'm glad to hear you've been enjoying the book mate! So, if you are being made fun of - then something in your approach is really far off the mark. The 'have fun' thing is MUCH easier in bars/clubs since people are out to have a good time and be happy - I've never had much problem being sober in these environments and talking to women - BUT if you judge people so harshly for drinking, that WILL make it hard, because they'll feel your vibe. You can still banter/build rapport etc. With a woman who is drinking while you are sober - obviously if she is really drunk then it's no fun anymore, but women who are drinking and just tipsy a easier to talk to generall, not harder. .

[@Straga_Severa]

@@SchoolOfAttraction Well, I don't judge them, but I will judge me if I'll try it. Maybe its because I'm from Russia, but drinking people here are too eager to try to make me drink, and when I refuse, I'm labeled as 'no fun' and am ridiculed. I don't mind being a butt of a joke, but I mind being ostracised. And I cannot become "not far off" without first being "far off", and it is a pain.

[@chriscaldow1644]

Still doesn't guarantee you'll attract a quality woman though, ..... imagine all that effort playing the smooth charismatic entertainer only to realise a month later, once the facade of high value has dissolved , she's an absolute nightmare riddled with insecurities and unattractive qualities.

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

I think you're missing the point of 'genuinely having fun" has nothing to do with trying to 'play' at anything, your just having fun for fun's sake. AT least this way if you don't happen to meet quality women, you still enjoyed yourself along the way. BUT this way you'll have a better shot at meeting better women than by being overly serious and getting frustrated and not having fun...

[@Andrea-gg1wc]

considering the fact that he literally said this is all to prime a girl to agree to “sexually escalate,” it doesn’t really seem like that’s a concern for him. Ewww