SciFi Story - The Dogs of War by elspawno | Humans are space Orcs | HFY | TFOS895

Original Story :
/ oc_the_dogs_of_war
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Greetings Ladies and Mentlegents and welcome to my channel where I like to make LEGAL Audiobooks of various types from web novels and short stories. If you are new to the channel then click on the information icon for the entire playlist to help get you up to current faster.
This Oneshot was Taken from the HFY subreddit which hosts mostly Sci-Fi based short stories called oneshots and series. It is done with the Authors Permission.
As Always i hope you enjoy and can find some content on my channel you like. Feel free to recommend a series or a story and i will have a look into it.
{TimeStamps}
00:00 Intro
00:36 The Dogs of War by elspawno
#Hfy #Reddit #HumansAreSpaceOrcs
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This Story is Classified as HFY , but what does the Mean?
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HFY is a story/series that takes a “human element” in either humanity or an “other” (race/species or object) that exists in a “setting” (future or other world/universe) with varying levels of culture, technology, society and history that help show in some shape or form the potential good or bad for humanity’s race/culture.
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Taken from the FAQ of the r/HFY subreddit.
This is also a Science Fiction story ,What is Science Fiction?
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Science fiction (sometimes shortened o sci-fi or SF) is a genre of speculative fiction that typically deals with imaginative and futuristic concepts such as advanced science and technology, space exploration, time travel, parallel universes, and extraterrestrial life. It has been called the "literature of ideas", and often explores the potential consequences of scientific, social, and technological innovations.
Science fiction, whose roots go back to ancient times, is related to fantasy, horror, and superhero fiction, and contains many subgenres. However its exact definition has long been disputed among authors, critics, and scholars.
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Taken from Wikipedia
What is Humans are space orcs?
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"Humans are space orcs" is a sci-fi based sub genre where in the galaxy as a whole humans are treated like and or behave such as orcs in our fantasy setting. These traits can be strength regeneration hardiness as well as many others. This sub Genre is closely linked with HFY and Earth is Space Australia. "Humans are space orcs" was made popular by tumblr and has spread to reddit with the aptly names r/Humansarespaceorcs. Humans Are Space Orcs was porpoised by youtuber P.M Seymour bringing it to a new audience.
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[@dinofeather]

I wonder if the prankster was some human who thought it would be funny to uplift cats since people did it with dogs?

[@donanthebarbarian5177]

I get the feeling the prankster was one such human. Probably did it on his own without informing the rest of humanity too. Hell he may have done it by accident whilst trying to engineer cat girls.

[@callumduckworth7490]

@@donanthebarbarian5177 if thats the case the prankster is indeed cultured

[@lawrencem.37]

He would probably be laughing to himself while muttering something about a surprise for "man's best friend".

[@gothicshark]

Although a short story, I'm going to head canon that.

[@jameswhite8133]

Elon Musk is catgod confirmed.

[@JEL625]

KAY-9: Human, we made a mistake. Our instincts took over and we bit some space kitties to death. Human: Oh no. What happened next? Kay-9: Now they are at war with us and are trying to wipe us out. Human: Load the space water bottles!

[@ragnorockcookie2868]

Exactly

[@lawrencem.37]

Marine: What about the space cat nip cannons sir?

[@brandoncampbell9144]

@@lawrencem.37 That is a treat not a punishment, so no

[@ragnorockcookie2868]

@@lawrencem.37 we ran out of catnip 3 stars ago because the kitty cat cat have devour all of the existing plants

[@chestonunnewehr6954]

Space Laser Pointers armed and ready! Space Brooms prepped in the rear!

[@henryrodgers7386]

Epilogue: The humans decided the Tarkinians were cute, and adopted them too. This is generally how the humans make friends, it seems. The Nok? "Aww, they're lil stripey death weasels! So cute!" The U'bm'br? "Land Sharks! Want it. NEED IT." The Grata? "MAGICAL TELEPATHIC RAINBOW DRAGONS *EEEEEEEEEEE* ... May I boop your snoot?" The human race, folks... "If it's not actively trying to kill us, it can be befriended, cuddled, or adopted as a pet."

[@GhostBear3067]

"Actively trying to kill us" does not even stop humans... VULCAN GET AWAY FROM THE BARKING TOAD!!!

[@medical-cyanide1526]

Even if it is actively trying to cave in our skulls we tend to try and make friends with it to some degree

[@GnarledStaff]

We even tried to befriend Australia.

[@chrislaf89]

Even when it actively tries to kill us, WE MUST CUDDLE MR. MURDERMITTENS!

[@kinologan5074]

@@GnarledStaff Is this like a work in progress? I skipped my history lesson

[@Ommel195]

"Do you know what we do to people who abuse our dogs?" Don't do it. Don't make the whole of humanity go all John Wick on you.

[@AugustoEL]

Ah yes the what if WH40K was because some alien race decided to kill our dogs.

[@scotthinger6397]

​@@AugustoELThen I have will have no sorrow for what would happen to WH400!!

[@Messywildcat78]

Who did it!!?? Who messed my doggos?? “The cats did sir!” ………….”Release the fleas”

[@RandomGuy-nt1no]

Weaponized fleas would be very devastating

[@hunterv9983]

General: Send in the Fleas, soften the enemy. Commander: What of the Ticks, sir? General: Keep them in reserve, Commander.

[@henrypaleveda7760]

it is raining cats and dogs; what madness is this, what reckless hate?

[@lawrencem.37]

Should we send in the crazy cat ladies infested with fleas or just the smart fleas?

[@tachyon8317]

Spatial spritzer bottles armed and ready, sir!

[@TheMjollnir67]

Plot twist: the Tarkinian had also been lifted by the Terrans...

[@artbrann]

probably a few escaped partly uplifted cats on some scouting mission

[@lawrencem.37]

This is why they are supposed to inside space cats but no...

[@artbrann]

@@lawrencem.37 or at least spade/neuter Bob Barker would be so disappointed in them

[@PlagueRunner]

Plot twist the humans for cats warps in and starts fighting the dog lovers

[@jayglier]

@@PlagueRunner you know that even though i prefer cats if i ever see someone hurt a dog im dropping gloves over that the same as any dog lover would do if they saw someone hurting a cat Dog and Cats are our oldest friends, dogs the first and best helped us hunt and guard our caves, cats came later as we discovered farming and had to deal with the smaller pests that the cat hunted and the cats became accustomed to the safety we provided in that bubble of land where they didnt have to worry about predators

[@lawrencem.37]

I just thought about my 90 pound German sheperd named Ares having thumbs... that's some scary stuff considering his was trained by a retired military K-9 handler.

[@mattvalenzuela5247]

Sweet Jesus

[@bendover9813]

Lmao, I’m just imagining thumbs but still having paws. No other fingers, just thumbs 😂 it would look so gross, I gotta draw it…

[@SetzerII]

@@bendover9813 please post your thumb-doggo. We must share the insanity!

[@tachyon8317]

Need pic of doggo, and have you also heard of the "Pixie and Brutus" comics?

[@chrislaf89]

BOMB! BOMB! LAWRENCE! FOUND BOMB! PEED ON IT! GONNA DISARM NOW! BOMB!

[@condorboss3339]

The Tarks are obviously not descended from Terran cats. They would have pushed everything off the edge of the galaxy by now.

[@AgroSquerril]

kept knocking satellites out of orbit , nothing else just that

[@1rotzy]

“You hurt OUR FLUFFY BOI!”

[@igkslife]

So, dog lovers up lifted dogs, and cat lovers up lifted the cats. The cats, and dogs went to war with each other, and humans had to break it up. Well then.

[@TheInstinctWithinV2]

Sounds about right to be honest

[@MyrdinAnnoth]

^ What he said

[@dtop668]

Or, as I called it in my my house when I had a dog and two cats, a day ending in "y." In all fairness, it seemed more sexist than species related. Male cat and dog (Gizmo and Kola) played with each other but refused to learn that our female cat (Rorschach) wasn't interested in rough-housing with them.

[@TheJMPD]

Agreed!​@@TheInstinctWithinV2

[@Cannon2541]

Quiet giggling in the background seems like it might fit this one

[@lawrencem.37]

That one time when it's not creepy... I like it!

[@stalwartteakettlepotato9879]

Badly behaving dogs and badly behaving cats. Bad bois and bad kitties get whacked by newspapers

[@stuffhappens1966]

Lol

[@mr.k4918]

SEND IN THE BATTLE CRUSER 'ROLLED UP NEWSPAPER'!!!

[@jamesappling1212]

Time to break up another Cat and Dog fight😂

[@sirsneakybeaky]

101 minutes till premier. Me, sitting here like an impatient child : 👁👄👁

[@Flarflenugen]

A reminder it's now up

[@matthewscotti5602]

Man I knew the reveal at the end was coming - but I didn't expect the aliens to be cats. Then the entire culture and religion clicked. Amazing job - both to the author and Agro. This is probably my favorite one. I'd like to think the reason the Canines are off on their own is because they requested some freedom and we were all like "We got you, dog. Here's a perfect M-Class. Want some warships?"

[@AgroSquerril]

Glad you enjoyed

[@199022009]

"Why should I dance to the trickster's tune?" - Alianne of Pirate's Swoop; Trickster's Choice

[@cnkclark]

Ooooh, Tortall. A rare and cultured reference!

[@zeehero7280]

This sounds like a sequel to Humans Are Old. I like it.

[@marshmallowgod284]

I really liked this story After all we made the good boys intelligent and who wouldn't want that

[@viktorbimmel4007]

You've seen that Rick and Morty Episode?

[@marshmallowgod284]

@@viktorbimmel4007 you mean the snowball one?

[@kacperszatko8192]

After all dogs are smarter than cats in our reality

[@OGSontar]

@@kacperszatko8192 Hard to judge the intelligence of a species that practices Ritual Ignoring.

[@dtop668]

Traditional Canine greeting. They approach each other, scratch each other's head, and one asks, "Who's a good boy?" The correct response is an under chin scratch, followed by "you are, sir."

[@ChaosLierLen]

One of the most optimism-inspiring thoughts I've ever had is that humans do indeed deserve dogs. We took a potentially apex predator and turned a sizable portion of them into shih tsus & corgis. Thousands of years of blood, sweat, tears, positive vibes, & treats. For all our bullshit, for all our wars & oppression & sin, there is enough good in us to bring out that much good in dogs. Think of that the next time a great dane happily brings you what is almost a log. Remember it the next time you see a french bulldog zzzzzzoom from one end of a hallway to the other & back. Recall it when you next see a golden retriever comfort a crying child. There's good out there, and some of it came from us.

[@carlfromtheoc1788]

What was the name of the Terran ship? The John Wick?

[@terrorcop101]

"Do you know what we do to people who abuse our dogs?" Oh that's priceless.

[@rayanderson5797]

"Lemme tell you about the ancient legend of John Wick..."

[@user-lp3cf5yn5b]

​@@rayanderson5797 oh no! Not baba yaga!

[@TheHamza5788]

Prankster: We do a little trolling

[@henrypaleveda7760]

we indulge in a minor quantity of tomfoolery

[@citizen_grub4171]

You could say they were fighting like cats and dogs.

[@AgroSquerril]

budumpish

[@RTanna89]

Occupation force armed with super soakers. Bad kitty!

[@locomastero]

I was expecting the human admiral to be John Wick of a descendant of him XD

[@OGSontar]

Unofficial Chapter II, Dogs of War, by Kimba-Dō It was a normal day on the Tarkinian homeworld, a rather quiet one, too, the emperor thought. She turned to her aide, “Still no contact from the canine subjugation fleet?” “No, your gracefulness. Last contact was four days ago, when they reported the mission was going well, although with slightly higher than expected losses. Still within parameters though. Not a single broadcast since then, however.” The emperor hissed softly. “Well,” she started, but then the alarms sounded. Air raid sirens were going off all over the city, and the skies grew unnaturally dark disturbingly fast. Before the emperor could even react, the throne room doors flew open, and M'Ress, first comptroller to the empire dashed in, her normally perfect fur all fluffed out in terror. “Your majesty, there is a massive fleet of unknown origin and design in orbit! We've never seen anything like them. Huge ships, larger and faster than anything we have, numbering in the tens of thousands!” Emperor T'Marr's eyes widened in shock, and for a moment, she said nothing. But then, she noticed something strange, or rather, she noticed that there was no sound but the panicked screaming and mewling from her people in the capital. No roar of landing craft. No huge explosions from orbital bombardment. No...anything. She turned to M'Ress, “Have they attacked? Given any demands?” “No, your gracefulness, they're just...sitting there. But all contact with orbital defense units, our homeland fleet, and SpaceBase One has been lost. The aliens are not responding to our hails, and ground radar and sensors read nothing but impenetrable hullmetal and guns.” “Lots and lots of guns.” Emperor T'Marr hissed softly, absentmindedly nudging a VapeOGlass(tm) vial off the end table near her throne. It shattered comfortingly on the floor, then melted to vapor and was gone. She got up, and went over to the balcony, and stepped out. The city was covered in blackness, as though of the deepest night, with only the faint lights of buildings and the dim glow of the streetlights piercing the darkness. She looked up at the sky, now completely filled with the unbelievably huge ships, noticing that the intruder's vessels showed no lights on them at all. It was as if a giant bowl of blackness had descended on her world. She pondered if she should order the planetary defenses to fire, but immediately discarded that thought. If those gigantic ships had weapons as advanced as she suspected, she doubted the defenses would ever get a second shot, and that would likely be the start of an orbital attack that would, no doubt, end her people. A slight chirping disturbed her thoughts - M'Ress' ever-present com was speaking to her. The emperor waited impatiently, but silently for the transmission to be done, noting with dismay that M'Ress' eyes, already wide in fear were getting even wider. The chirping stilled, and M'Ress turned to the emperor. “Your gracefulness, more ships are arriving. Our subjugation fleet is here, and there are several canine destroyers as well.” Of course they were. The Prankster was in full play here now. Her tail switched back and forth sharply at the news, as the com unit started chirping again. Before it had finished, sunlight suddenly bathed the city as several of the great ships moved and opened a path. “Majesty, incoming dropships, destination appears to be the royal palace's landing pads.” “Do NOT fire on them.” the emperor said sharply. M'Ress whispered into her com unit, as the emperor watched the now visible small ships approach. She noticed that one of them appeared to be from her returning fleet, another seemed to match the specifications of canine ships. These were small vessels, shuttles really, not designed for troops, but for transporting small crews to the surface of a planet. The third one, however, was huge. Practically the size of a cruiser, it seemed, and looked almost too big for the palace's landing pads to handle, and she suspected it could hold hundreds of troops, on several decks. Something else about that ship was odd, and after a moment she realized that unlike the other two ships, there were no flames of engines coming from it, only a very faint, hazy blue glow emanating from the underside. The huge dropship touched down silently, at the pad nearest to the palace, which groaned in protest, while the other two ships came roaring to a stop on two of the other pads. Guards poured out of the palace, with the largest weapons they could carry in clear view. T'Marr turned sharply to M'Ress, “Order the guards to stand down NOW! I will personally skin the guard that fires the first shot!” If there's anything left of them, the emperor mused silently. She gazed at the alien ship, noting the many scripts written in neat rows across it, one of which was in the canine language. “Diplomatic Envoy”, it read. For the first time since the alien fleet appeared, she felt her terror gradually start to recede. Maybe there wouldn't be any fighting, any destruction, any mass death today. She silently thanked the Prankster that she had, for some reason, put on her best Robes of Office this morning. He grinned even wider. The order to stand down had come through, and the guard captain was snapping orders to her troops. The weapons vanished, and the troops formed into two rows, one on each side of the walkway to the palace, standing at full attention. It seemed that the guard captain could read canine script also. The two smaller ships had disgorged their passengers. Her sharp vision picked out Warmaster Gazark, and he was in his best dress uniform, as were the two crew members (she couldn't place their names at the moment) that came with him. All three approached the alien ship and stood at full attention, although she could see their tails were rather fluffed out in fear. The four canines, however, were a different story. While they did appear to be dressed in their dress uniforms, their posture was something else again. Although they seemed to be large, ferocious members of the warrior class, similar to the ones on that horrible video that started the war, they weren't acting like it. They were acting like...like puppies! Barely able to stand still, almost bouncing in place, their tails whipping back and forth so fast they were a blur. Whatever creature was in that ship, they clearly didn't fear it. Quite the opposite, in fact. A door in the massive craft slid open, unexpectedly covering almost the entire height of the vessel, easily four times the size of a normal door. The first of the creatures appeared, followed by two more and suddenly she understood the size of the door. This thing was HUGE. The being stepped out onto the boarding ramp, dressed in a crisp and no-nonsense uniform, that even though it didn't have all the flashy, dangley bits of shiny medals her people loved so well, having instead a rather large series of different colored bars, gave the impression that it was dressed up for a meeting, and glanced over at the Warmaster, who visibly flinched, as did his companions. It looked over at the canines, and T'Marr was totally flabbergasted. They were...fawning?!? Squirming like little kittens! She noticed that the alien's face had taken on a completely different cast. Even though she'd never seen a being like this before, it was clear to see the tenderness; it obviously cared deeply for the canines, and when it raised an eyebrow and gave the tininess flip upwards of its head, the canines snapped to attention so fast, and stood so still that T'marr was again amazed. The two other aliens followed him out of the landing craft. M'Ress' com unit had been busy, and she quickly filled in the emperor. “They're called 'Humans', and they're here because they uplifted the canines, which used to be their pets!” M'Ress' voice was thin with undisguised shock and disbelief. Such a thing had never been heard of, except perhaps in old fiction stories, as it was universally deemed impossible. But, it did explain the canine's reactions to the human.

[@OGSontar]

Unofficial Chapter II, Dogs of War, by Kimba-Dō, part 2 “That is Admiral Eric Macintyre, male, from something called the 'Terran Confederation'. The grim one with the facial scars next to him is also male, Fleet Commander Colonel Stephen Wick, Terran Colonial Marine Corps, in charge of the Terran seventh fleet, the one in orbit over us.” He also had bars on his uniform, even more than the Admiral, although they were quite different in appearance. There were also some round badges with what looked like five-pointed stars in them, and several others that did indeed dangle from their dark purple ribbons, but weren't really very shiny at all. There was no tenderness, no compassion in its - his - gaze. This human was obviously a killer by nature and profession, a true predator, fierce and deadly. The way he stood, the way he moved, no extra movement, no flourishes, only expending exactly enough energy to accomplish the move; yes, alien as he was, it was clear this male was death made flesh. Even the Prankster, who had been laughing at her in her mind, was silent at the sight of him. This human was also the only one visibly armed, carrying a large (of course) sidearm of completely unfamiliar design on one side of his waist, and some kind of long blade on the other. Idly, the emperor wondered if this giant was going to bring his hand-cannon and gigantic sword to the negotiation table, and almost let out a snort at the thought of some poor guard trying to get him to surrender them. “The third one is female.” M'Ress continued. “Ambassador Susan Storm. Warmaster Gazark says she seems very nice, calm and almost relaxed. But, he says, don't be fooled. She's as sharp as a Sehiat's claw and misses nothing.” Ambassador Storm's female mammalian characteristics were clear. Maybe, despite their size and relative lack of fur, their biology wasn't all that different. By now, the humans had reached the bottom of the ramp, and T'Marr saw that with a glance from Colonel Wick, the canines had moved into a protective formation around Ambassador Storm, one on either side, and two in the rear. Gone were the fawning puppies, the canines now acted and moved like the trained professionals they were. It was about this time that something caught her attention. Casually, as she had seen the Ambassador looking up at her, she let her gaze pass over the city. Yes, she was right. The human fleet had slowly maneuvered such that the entire city, but only the city, was now in full sunlight. Oddly, there were no clouds above the city at all, which was strange when you considered how fast the temperature had dropped when the great ships had first blocked the light from their star. The Prankster snickered in the back of her mind. At that, the emperor smiled to herself. Ahhh, not only powerful, but sneaky and crafty as well. The psychological trick the humans were playing was clear, once you noticed it. By their will, the light was lost. By their will, the light carved out a bastion of brightness in the darkness surrounding the city, extending from the city's edge farther than the eye could see. And, if they so chose, by their will the darkness would return. Maybe forever. A mind-trick worthy of the Prankster himself, she mused. She felt the Prankster grin in pleasure, whiskers twitching in humorous-approval as she saw through the human's gambit. However, that thought itself brought emperor T'Marr up short. Yes, it was a psychological gambit, designed to subtly show her and her people that the humans controlled not only the battlefield of the sky, but the very light of the Tarkinain's star itself. Yet, mind-trick or no, it was also an absolute truth, and she had better keep that firmly in mind. The Prankster grinned even wider. THREE MONTHS LATER Much to almost everyone's surprise, the negotiation went reasonably smoothly. The humans mostly spoke for the canines at first, and while they asked much at the start, the terms they settled for were very moderate indeed, basically only raw materials and medical supplies for the canine homeworld. In return, the soldiers that were in the notorious video were marched in their full dress uniforms by an honor guard of 50 of their brother service dogs to the cameras set up on the palace grounds, where they gave an emotional and sincere apology to the Tarkinians, and were formally dismissed from service by Colonel Wick himself on a 'Bad Dog' class discharge, which was absolutely the worst possible discharge for a canine. This ceremony was preformed officially in public, on Tarkinain palace grounds, broadcast worldwide by the Terran fleet itself. Even the most furious of Tarkinains were moved to tears as the terrifying Colonel Wick himself destroyed their uniforms in the discharge ceremony, yet the canines preformed their last act of service perfectly, standing at full attention, neither twitching nor whining as Colonel Wick reduced their dress uniforms to rags. Then, the rest of the details of their discharge were handed down. It removed any and all rank, medals, and benefits, as well as retirement pay, while they also forfeited the right to wear or even possess the uniforms of service. Finally they and their families were grounded for life on the human homeworld (not nearly the punishment the Tarkinains thought, but not even the Prankster will tell), and sent to the human's shuttle to await their final spaceflight. A canine Ambassador and several representatives of the canine's Trader's Guild from the canine homeworld showed up a couple of weeks into things, and then the real work begun. Peace was declared, and a treaty was signed. Then, another. And a few more. After that, borders were made and agreed to be respected, trade routes were decided upon, and then, their work completed, the humans departed. As they moved to their ship, Ambassador Storm paused, and addressed T'Marr, “I've been debating this since we arrived, but after meeting your people and seeing how hard they work and play, I decided to give this to you. Our scans say that it won't harm you at all, and overall, your people should react to it like our housecats do. T'Marr had seen videos of human housecats, as well as the bigger cats of the human world. For the most part, the housecats made the Tarkinians a bit embarrassed, although they could see the humans seemed to love the cats just as much as the dogs, but the videos of lions, tigers, jaguars, leopards, and the other big cats, some in full hunt became in a single day the most watched videos by Tarkinian youths (and adults, if truth be told) of all time. A SINGLE DAY! T'Marr snapped back to the Ambassador, and looked at the box she held. It was clear crystal, and hermetically sealed. Inside was another container, also sealed tightly. And inside that, were two small bags - one of seeds, and one of dried leaves. “Our sensors tell us it'll grow just fine here. However, we stress in the strongest of terms that you have your best bio-scientists in full bio-hazard gear in a negative pressure, sealed room be the ones to open this, as despite the fact you're almost identical in physiology to our cats, that 'almost' part gives us a bit of pause. Test it carefully. It won't hurt you, that we do know, but it might be very, very, _VERY_ addictive, and that would be a good thing to know before you open that container and let the scent out.” “What is it?” T'Marr asked, split between fear and curiosity. The Prankster was laughing his tail off in her mind. “Oh, don't worry too much, you'll love it, but for sure test it first. The proper name of the plant is: 'Nepeta Cataria', but we just call it, Catnip” said Storm. Oddly, in T'Marr's mind, at the word 'Catnip', the Prankster had suddenly quit laughing, and now had his ears sharply pointed forward, his eyes wide, his whiskers and nose were twitching wildly and his tail was switching back and forth. He was still making noise, but he wasn't laughing. No, the much beloved and dreaded Prankster was...purring. T'Marr wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. As they entered their monstrous shuttle, Colonel Wick gave the Tarkinains only one terse warning. “Do NOT abuse our dogs. We _will_ be watching.” And with that, the humans left, vanishing from known space as if they'd never existed. Fin. EDIT: Added _Italics_ and fixed a typo or two that made it through 12 full proofreads. Glad I see the eye doctor tomorrow.

[@got2kittys]

I would go fight for my puppers. They are the best dogs, I tell them that a lot.

[@stargate55746]

Easily my favorite HFY story! Glad you narrated it

[@robertshank9778]

Thanks for the laughs and smiles today... How do you always seem to know when to release a video like this? Praise be to Agro, May you all be blessed, By and For the Algorithm...

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For the algorithm

[@wilemelliott]

The Prankster isn't the only one laughing

[@AgroSquerril]

yarp

[@SupCom78]

never ever hurt our best friends and companions it will not end well for you. they are like pack like family you can not imagine the things we will do to you if you hurt them.

[@tachyon8317]

When an entire species turns into John Wick...

[@thatotherguy8138]

Nice change of pace - Humans being the Giants in the galaxy rather than the teeny tiny itsy bitsy what's it holding OH MY GOD THAT'S A NUKE RRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUN ~boom~ well f ~second boom~ (ghost: that second one was completely unnecessary... but so typically human.)

[@gmradio2436]

Humans nuke the ghost again.

[@OGSontar]

@@gmradio2436 Ah, crap. OK, call the Russkies and see if they got anymore of those Tsar Bombas laying around. We got ghosts up in here!

[@gmradio2436]

@@OGSontar Drop that one on Hell. Why? Reasons.

[@kurtismiller9544]

Sit Ubu sit, good boy! ....turns....damn stray cats about to get neutered!

[@kleinjahr]

Coyote has a wicked sense of humour.

[@AgroSquerril]

indeed

[@beingsneaky]

This story needs more.. I am sure after awhile the canines and the tarkians can be be great allies. Children cultural exchange??

[@seekerdude]

when the The Prankster god decides who is on the receiving of the joke

[@erikagehm2805]

K-9: Space cats human, space cats! They acted like they had no clue what are instincts for them are. Humans: Fracking fine! Bad dogs! Bad! Now I'll fix this. Wait, not our kitties...

[@merlinathrawes746]

While I expected the Canines to be uplifted dogs, the aliens being cats was hilarious!

[@muninrob]

I chuckled, have a comment.

[@Rivindrid]

I admit im waiting expectantly and excitedly

[@yomogami4561]

absolutely loved this story. cujo and lily would too

[@ameliarosealdridge6468]

FTA! May it rain cats and dogs

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For the algorithm

[@KuDastardly]

So basically the humans stopped them from fighting like cats and dogs. The worst thing the Terrans could to the Tarks would be send them to the vet to be 'fixed'. >:)

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

For the Squerril

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For Argo

[@beingsneaky]

Nice story. Lol trickster must be coyote. Or raven lol

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@discusmaximus]

For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!

[@OGSontar]

Yeah, mess with our puppies, uplifted or not, and you're very likely to have a very, very bad day. One of my fondest hopes is that we survive both as a species and as a civilization long enough that we get to give that gift to our beloved companions, dogs and cats.

[@efraim3364]

to be fair we like cats also

[@PheonixSunstar001]

Might be why the humans were willing to entertain the option for peace treaty. Others might not have been given the opportunity and just wiped out for messing with our dogs.

[@undrachvrsage]

Bad kitty FTA

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For the algorithm

[@chancesareo5321]

For the algorithm I shall wait

[@marshmallowgod284]

Now for the algorithm

[@justinsmith5870]

Uplifted terren cat in the background "dibs on tarkinian ambassador status"

[@gp-1542]

Yay I could imagine humanity genetically modified their best friends

[@OGSontar]

Yes. It's called 'Uplifting', and has been a theme on and off in Sci-Fi for quite some time. The first story I read about it was an uplifted dog and cat discussing that even as humanity died out, they spent their last effort to raise up our best friends, in the hope that they'd do better than we did.

[@tobiasmoller3837]

so the dogs called for "the dogs of WAR", and humanity answered

[@theonetodefyall238]

keeper going

[@jamescox7537]

LOVE IT !!!!

[@VegettoQ61]

"Crazy Old Cat Ladies of Battle" prepare for boarding action!!

[@yourfriendlygiantknightofd3277]

why am i imagining Scooby doos with guns firing at aliens

[@thunderbird4636]

Great story, loved it very much.

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@jimdemertzim1]

You mess with the pupper you get the blaster

[@mikkelnpetersen]

"Activate the 'John Wick' Protocol"

[@viktorbimmel4007]

Has nobody in the future seen that Rick and Morty episode?

[@luc-zq7ku]

the tarkinian are escaped subject of elon musk attempt to create cat girl . That's my head canon

[@cameltube-vk7el]

".......The P R A N K S T E R " he he that was good, very!

[@jimmycoyote74]

For the algorithm

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For the algorithm

[@Wastelandman7000]

Loki will always play you, rely on it. LOL

[@TheJMPD]

Space cats and space doggos at war! 😂

[@ironworksdragon6843]

Bob the dragon

[@micheallinne3159]

Seems somewhat likely, I love it

[@cmmaddragon7638]

I wish I could like this twice. I leave a comment for the algorithm Gods.

[@AgroSquerril]

it is much appreciated , for the algorithm

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For the algorithm

[@WingManFang1]

I’d find it beautiful if this was the beginning of negotiations for peace and unity between the 3 races and having humanoid Cats running around with dog and human families. As friends.

[@bf-696]

"Release the Humans of War!"

[@klappstock943]

For the story the voice and the Algorithm

[@garysprandel1817]

On the plus side a trade agreement was made and the xenos were introduced to catnip among other Terran exports and not even the toughest of the race was immune to ear and chin skritches.

[@homoerectus6953]

they are good boys.....

[@badjer4328]

FOR THE HORDE! Whose idea was it to evolve cats?

[@GhostBear3067]

Someone did it as a prank, and the Cats remember.

[@MichaelParker-mi6ie]

Still mans best friend I see

[@WilliamSmith-zk4tj]

The prankster = okie

[@lebrick2849]

Surprised I find no mention of Ecaflip.

[@MyrdinAnnoth]

What kind of insane deathworlder warrior-race were these Terrans ? Terrans: Yes...

[@SoManyDogs]

DO. NOT. MESS. WITH. SPACE DOGGOS.

[@rupertmiller9690]

Did the line "I am Admiral Eric Macintyre.." activate your Alexa? She's been lovin' listening in on your narrations. I think I will deactivate her now.

[@shatteredlegion6934]

For a second I thought we'd see admiral John wick

[@kubikkuratko188]

Start the Catnip wars!

[@mattbrown5511]

Space Kitties are going to be paying some serious reparations to the Canines for a long time. No one messes with the bestest boys and girls.

[@nos2342]

To please the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@kubikkuratko188]

So cats worship Chegorah?

[@arcdecibel9986]

I love it. Normally, I'm not a fan of uplifting species that would inevitably become competition to our own in the dying days of the universe, should those theories prove true. Better to kill any sapient xenos before they become a threat to us as well. But in this very specific case I can see my way past it. We owe dogs an awful lot, and the ability to return the favor is always nice.

[@jayglier]

President Moon Moon noooooo!

[@joseglenn20]

That must have Been one Hell of a Moment for Humanaty to decide to uplift the Dogs .

[@kathybarekman5454]

I love Cats

[@TallboyDave]

You know, I actually empathise a bit with the Tarkinians in this one; what with this story being mostly from their POV.

[@spudgamer6049]

Yeah, I also sympathize with them some. OTOH, they made some mistakes in their first contact protocols and they kinda over reacted to a bad first contact they initiated, so I'm also sympathetic to the doggos. And at least the humans seem to be able to see that it isn't exactly black and white, and are interested in a negotiated peace rather than a full unconditional surrender of the tark species, at least if the armed forces are willing to stop fighting.

[@jamessims7015]

Dav Lister = the trickster

[@aickavon]

16 minutes for me to realize this is an over elaborate way for the author to tell us he hates cats and is a dog person.

[@Inquisitor-Yog-Sothoth]

I'll get the super soaker

[@elfeater1760]

For the Algorithm11!

[@Amoth_oth_ras_shash]

is there a follow up to this ? because i'd sort of love the 'cats' governments and society reaction when what is ment to be supply ships going one way bumps into what should been couirers from the fleets.. only ,they are shadow.. escorted ...back to kitty space by things that looks like some sort of progenitor stories dooms day ships and then also being told those.. are just 'little' destroyers!... and that for as fearsome the canines are ,these ones..is magnitudes worse and have put an ultimatum either the kittys and all associates to them enter negotiations or.... they will find out what destruction to ther eyes are titans from the dark edges of the galaxy can cause.

[@lordpfeiffer8490]

Me a cat person. I want to adopt the cat people fight the dogs.

[@RW-kn3xp]

but it followed me home can we keep it

[@kathybarekman5454]

Cats Rule!! Dogs not so much.....