Scottish army ration (MRE) with radioactive heater.

[@philc8703]

Have we just spent 17 mins watching Clive have his dinner

[@forbiddenera]

Was thinking the same thing..lmao

[@Fiona2254]

Me too 😂

[@skepticinall]

And learned about Scottish culture.

[@budy238]

I think we did. He fooled me

[@freddyrobins3524]

That's breakfast.

[@adam45011]

This is the most convincing load of BS I’ve ever seen. More please.

[@agentblackfyre5922]

Ill kill myself when waffers and a chocolate bar means High Calorie

[@thedevilinthecircuit1414]

Have you seen Clive's Fanny Flambeau vid?

[@dtiydr]

There is another video from the late -90 i think where one guy extremely convincing just talking pure rubbish with no sense what so ever about a thing and with a completely straight face. Its hilarious, it should be on yt.

[@nottelling7785]

@@dtiydr This one? kzbin.info/www/bejne/l4iVfamHisiqp8U

[@dtiydr]

@@nottelling7785 That's the one! xD

[@nedshead5906]

Interesting fact about the Trident Ingot Radioactive Heater, the engineers designed it to serve duel purposes, not only can it heat your ration meal but the geometry allows it to be used as a suppository internal core temperature regulator through the brutal Scottish winter

[@NathanDudani]

Lmao

[@kamilwierzchowski976]

Yes, and also have another use. You can throw it in front of Your enemy and when they step on it, the ingot works like a land mine but with radioactive effects.

[@MarksElectricLife]

@@kamilwierzchowski976 Good for making dirty bombs too.

[@buskov]

brutal Scottish winter hahahaha - Québec

[@hughjanus1840]

@@buskov That's why there are so many people of Scottish descent in Canada; They are among the few buggers that can handle the piss-freezing temperatures.

[@andrew051968]

I wonder if Ebay had a melt down when this video came out with the rush of people trying to buy these online?

[@netook8]

yea, esp with the publicly attainable RTG component. RTG(radio thermic generator) uses a passive radioactive source to generate electricity. I could make that into a useful phone charger

[@ggoddkkiller1342]

@@netook8 It would take something like a month to charge your phone but better than nothing i guess))

[@Shep01]

i mean i hope they did...

[@FennecTECH]

@@ggoddkkiller1342 well it was able to bring water up to boiling temprature

[@punkinhaidmartin]

I sure tried.😕

[@dingdongbells3314]

*Pulls out an ENTIRE bottle of Scotch whisky from MRE:* "Meh." *Pulls out a ration heater:* "THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING!"

[@alexquilezz]

Cuz is nuclear lol

[@brandonupchurch7628]

nucular, it's pronunced nucular

[@TreyJaxn]

@@brandonupchurch7628 Its spelled nuclear, bud. It's also pronounced nuclear, but only if you pronounce it correctly.

[@bluebalute]

@@brandonupchurch7628 and whoosh, the joke went past.

[@TreyJaxn]

@Brandon Smith But you can hug your nuclear family with your normal arms.

[@timmydizzle1]

Fake, Clive would never find a pair of pliers that quick

[@Anvilshock]

Have a grand laugh, that was splendid!

[@garethwilliams5809]

That was the clincher, was it!?

[@markhodgson2348]

Haha Scotland should invade America

[@pixoariz]

@Mark Hodgson This American would enjoy that very much.

[@Shadi2]

Also the thumbnails aren't smashed & bruised

[@adejupe8308]

A work of genius Clive! Though you missed out on one thing....... "Let's get this out onto a tray. Nice."

[@bigclivedotcom]

I don't have a tray like Steve's. Just an explosion containment pie dish.

[@ohmbug10]

@@bigclivedotcom nice hiss!

[@wasspj]

@@bigclivedotcom Who needs a fancy tray when you have an ECPD.

[@Shadowdncer]

More like "let's get this poured into a pitcher" :-D

[@timbojonesunderwood3086]

Does not contain a pack of camels.

[@russefrance4869]

As an ex-partaker of British Army ration packs, the initial shock at there actually being a 'Scottish Army' ration pack was so great, my brain couldn't keep up with your dialogue...so you had me right up to the bottle of scotch. Had you somehow stopped before that, I would genuinely have believed that a 8- pack of Tunnock's caramels and a tea-cake was part of the pack for soldiers up north . Nice one :))

[@Fanta....]

I must admit, you had be hook line and sinker until the Whisky.. well played clive..... well played.

[@crazyboy2006cashier]

Ditto!

[@MoultrieGeek]

Same!

[@MichaelMantion]

the most shocking thing is the trident heater is ACTUALLY REAL. I was laughing my ass off and then tried to google to find out wtf it was. My jaw hit the floor. That is a real nuclear heater from the 50s. How the hell did I never hear about it.

[@djashley2002]

Definitely a case of extracting the urine here.

[@skunkjobb]

Same here. But we should all know that there is no such thing called the Scottish army since long.

[@markpotter6186]

This looks like a college student's emergency survival kit.

[@adventuresbackroad2534]

Look like a military party kits lol

[@CragScrambler]

Apparantly when the scottish army was fully intergrated into the British army they have several thousand of these kits left in surplus, they were rebranded as 'Duke of Edinburgh rations for scottish kids'.

[@allancopland1768]

Mine at college mostly consisted of 20P a bag noodles, and some booze.

[@TheHutchy01]

@@allancopland1768 And Irn-Bru and Tunnock's wafers. You've gotta have some luxuries.

[@MayoTheJar]

Damn, I didn’t hear a single “nice” in this video. This is a bad Steve1989 video.

[@Ash-bd6jz]

Mkayy

[@eljaibas16]

lets put this into a tray. Nice, m'kay

[@agentblackfyre5922]

This is the most fake ration i have ever seen I could tell by the plastic it was in. Who would put a full bottle of achool in a ration

[@agentblackfyre5922]

@@jimadams7765 by ww1 they gave about a shot of rum

[@jonc4403]

@@agentblackfyre5922 It's a very small bottle, just enough for breakfast. I dunno if the lunch bottle is bigger.

[@DavidBrown-nd9mf]

Dude can make anything believable. Honestly, he had me in the first half.

[@glockEquippedBoyfriend]

bro he had me for 3 whole years

[@RoarkLaughed]

My first few thoughts were: "This ration is all candy", "How does the hot pot not get crushed?", "Whiskey and little glass reacter!?!", "Whoever packed all that into that little bag is a magician". I was so confused I googled it. Now the NSA is looking for me and I'm living off of cold American MRE's whilst trekking through the cold northern reaches of the U.S. Thanks Clive.....

[@justanothergrunt9053]

Oof our MREs are buttshit :(.

[@RoarkLaughed]

They are, and the FRH is junk. "Fucking Ridiculous Heater"

[@Yandarval]

@@justanothergrunt9053 More decades ago than I care to remember, US MRE's were called "Meals Rejected by Ethiopians" by UK forces in the early 90s. It appears as if they have not gotten any better.

[@darreng745]

@@Yandarval Then you've not had the recent ration packs supplied by Vestey to the British Armed Forces, they now can compete with the American ones for being truly vile

[@gcewing]

Heater needs a warning sticker: "Ensure all desired children are conceived before using as pocket warmer."

[@Poodleinacan]

Maybe it's lined with protection.

[@bryanmartinez6600]

Hey I want my kid to have an extra arm

[@ancapftw9113]

You racist against mutants or something?

[@wtel9536]

@@ancapftw9113 genetically diverse individuals*

[@dorudanieldumitrescu3004]

@@wtel9536 Haha, Xmen Motto

[@keeperofthecheese]

"The Scottish army runs on chocolate, iron brew and whiskey" Holy shit, I think I'm in the Scottish army

[@wzr3293]

Iron Gru

[@althalus401]

@@aristotlepovey9866 Even worse he spelled whisky whiskey, Sassenach.

[@melissahealy1950]

och aye the noo i'd love some chocolate irn bru and whisky (note how i used the correct spellings)

[@jobbiejew]

Haw bawbag it’s IRN BRU! 🤣

[@dedet6900]

@@melissahealy1950 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@SosiskaTheHorrible]

Rest of the world “funny April fools joke” Scotland “seems fair enough”

[@xwafflesx]

Yes

[@RedboRF]

nothing is deep fried? no a bottle of buckie? I knew it was a fake from the start

[@RickSFfan]

Hell, I took it as real. Seemed stupid, but military intelligence?

[@LazerLord10]

*Sees bottle of Whisky. Surely this is a joke. But that explanation is kinda convincing... Wait, is that heater in an antistatic bag? Welp, you had me at the start, lol.

[@stanleygarland1666]

well you are off your mark this was very much real

[@jonathanoxlade4252]

Iron bru sad I hope the soldiers got the real stuff with sugar and not the sugar tax aspartame shit that made it taste like crap

[@SpcSamRI]

@@stanleygarland1666 lol No.... no... no....

[@stanleygarland1666]

@@SpcSamRI judging that the video was nowhere near April's fools and a past of doing real mre reviews and the way he speaks in the video I have no reason to say it's fake

[@sheepwool9319]

@@stanleygarland1666 Are you for real? this video is obviously a joke

[@JB-ym4up]

I've heard of first strike rations, this one looks like a last meal ration. Give him some candy booze and a cig, if the enemy doesn't get him the heater will.

[@DanSlotea]

First stroke ration, this one

[@bdf2718]

The cig was what made it absolutely certain it was a wind-up. First, Clive got far more vapour out of it than those things can deliver. Second, it would have had nicotine in it, and that would have made Clive choke, splutter and remark how he can't handle nicotine.

[@dtiydr]

This was so well done that even the Scottish army wonder where these MRE are.

[@bigclivedotcom]

They ate them all and kept the radioactive bits.

[@two_tier_gary_rumain]

@@bigclivedotcom No, they ate them too. Hence why the bagpipers all glow during the EMT festivities.

[@COIcultist]

@@bigclivedotcom Clive you need to do the Scottish officers ration pack: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oYKWkKJte5ygp7s An example of "You couldn't make it up" ism. Do you know what the Scots Guards password was when they attacked Mt Tumbledown? See 01.40 facebook.com/War1982/videos/958559940970950/

[@JB-ym4up]

@@bigclivedotcom they are Scottish, they ate the radioactive bits too.

[@Tony-dh7mz]

Yes, i find the degree of polish to his bulls!t disturbing

[@NemoBlank]

You should show us the officer's ration, with the single malt and a cigar.

[@theelmonk]

This must be the Officers pack. The squaddies pack substitutes a fry-in-the-bag mars bar for the teacake.

[@alext8828]

Ha!

[@numonefranbegbiefan]

The bottle of whisky is a normal ration?! Thats amazing, Ima move to Scotland and enlist right now!

[@fritzkuhne2055]

@@numonefranbegbiefan woooosh

[@numonefranbegbiefan]

@@fritzkuhne2055 Is that sound of me going to Scotland?

[@fritzkuhne2055]

@@numonefranbegbiefan yes

[@Enjoymentboy]

I would have NEVER guessed that the Scottish Army invented nuclear ramen.

[@InWeCome]

So weird to have that fancy nuclear rod just for cheap ass cup noodles

[@agentblackfyre5922]

@@InWeCome thats why you call it fake

[@paulsengupta971]

They have them by the thousand from Faslane and Dounreay.

[@Bondubras]

"If you want a demonstration of how alcohol liberates aggression in Scots, all you have to do is go to Glasgow on the weekend" Now THAT made me crack up. That joke reminds me of one I read in a book once: "Here's a fun challenge: Try to cross Dublin without passing a pub."

[@Bondubras]

@That sorta irish guy I kinda figured. I was just quoting a book. One that specifically mentions Dublin.

[@jameshead9119]

To be honest until resonantly that could be most of the British islands sadly a lot have been closed and replaced with houses ( though one round here was replaced with a drive in McDonald’s)

[@neyoid]

Same in Wisconsin in America. Everywhere you go in Wisconsin, every town has a bar.

[@scratchpad7954]

Being of rather quite strong UK heritage, reading that has me having to stifle a giggle myself.

[@qwerty-cg7hv]

I was sat in my car on the side of Cadogan Street, Glasgow one Saturday night many years ago, that was certainly educational..........

[@Petriefied0246]

As a former Army instructor I can confirm that these are issued to soldiers in Scotland.

[@englishrupe01]

....and civilians.

[@christophercoombs5909]

i'm not calling you a liar, but I am not convinced that this is not a joke lol. I mean, it's all the Scottish snack stereotypes in a bag.

[@redfog42]

@@christophercoombs5909 not quite all 😉

[@robertmiles9942]

As an American I can confirm that we believe this.

[@eblackbrook]

@@christophercoombs5909 I'm skeptical because there's nothing deep fried.

[@646klein]

some wee lad about 17 has run to the recruiting office at top speed thinking hes gona have it away lol

[@JohnRunyon]

Man, if I got free booze and nicotine for joining, I absolutely would've...

[@caver1]

That's not "wee" ...

[@COIcultist]

*"some wee lad about 17 has run to the recruiting office at top speed thinking hes gona have it away lol"* Only to have Crapita take 27 months to process his application. www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/why-are-crapita-and-the-mod-so-useless.269185/

[@spidaxtreme]

When I saw the Tunnock's I was thinking, "Is this real?" When I saw the Whiskey I thought, "Please be real".

[@kaitlyn__L]

*whisky

[@agentblackfyre5922]

Nope here are the reasons By ww1 ration achool was reduced to 1 shot of rum and now is completly reduced. Also soldiers would tottaly drink it all at once, and drunk soldiers are gonna become very drunk wae crimanals. A normal water activated heater is far more effective, then your totally not fake radioactive heater. Since the heater comes in every ration that means you throw it away each time leaving toxic material on the gound. And if they have a way to dispose of nuclear meterial on the field. It still be cheaper more space efficent and safer, then a normal ration heater. They don't eat candy, and at that no peanut m&ms you realise that some soldiers have allergies thefore can't eat the food. Also MREs are throwen around on truck bed and are damaged often. If that ration was given to troops the noodles cup wouod be leeking and the achook would be smashed with achool ruining the rest. The shot glass is the funnest thing to me not every soldier gets issued a canteen every ration they get. If you need a cup so bad they would give a metal cup in training, same for the e cig. Also a E-cigarette no just no, They would at most get a pack of nicotine gum. Plus it would break in the pack and cause the nicotine leek into the pack. They would never waste money on things that some people don't use.

[@kaitlyn__L]

@patrick howard no, whiskey is Irish and American, whisky is all others. The origin of the spirit is what matters, not the origin of the person. It's a common misconception though. But yeah, scotch is never ever called whiskey correctly. Always whisky.

[@chaschuky999]

@@agentblackfyre5922 wow you must be fun at parties

[@jmullentech]

@@chaschuky999 He's 100% right, though. Whiskey is spirit distilled in Ireland/America. If it's distilled anywhere else, you drop the E. It's literally required by law.

[@omegasarchangel]

Can confirm these are near identical in Canada, except every packet is also in French.

[@Zadster]

I suspect AvE has a stock of these.

[@Solocat1]

@florence Upton Spoken like a triggered confused Soy-boy.

[@DrakkarCalethiel]

@@Zadster He probably opens them with his Borsch mini chainsaw. :D

[@shepd3]

@florence Upton Mad your team lost? Too bad. I love seeing our military at pride. Fills me with pride for Canada. Let's hope for a third term.

[@DeDeNoM]

And I thought the Canadians would just get a liter of maple sirup

[@gordsec]

It's amazing what a softly spoken, reassuring voice will make you believe :)

[@bigclivedotcom]

The BBC has used that technique for decades.

[@Kyle-xv5kv]

"Military grade teacake" - This is why I love this channel.

[@mel_arky]

Tunnocks Teacakes are usually pretty fragile on top that usually when I get them in store here in England they are usually smashed very slightly and the chocolate is pretty thin.

[@Lucien86]

There. The military grade teacake is absolute proof that this is real. I soooo want one, the ordinary teacakes are one of my favorite things.

[@joebykaeby]

When that whiskey came out, I had to check the calendar that it wasn’t April 1.

[@Shaun.Stephens]

I thought the same thing, then that maybe Big Clive had messed up the upload date or something. Fanny Flambeaux my arse!

[@thumbwarriordx]

"Bad Dragon Brick" That is both a probably useful item and the funniest goddamn thing one could possibly name-drop.

[@whiskey419]

The curse of knowing about Bad Dragon: if you point it out everyone knows you know it too

[@thumbwarriordx]

@@whiskey419 I'm mainly astounded that they have this reputation as some ultra high quality artisan dildo makers but they don't even do double-shots for structural support. Like Silicone is self-bonding, the engineer in me is just furious about it and I know I could do better but I simply cannot bring myself to start a dildo company out of spite. Also, the initial investment is ASTRONOMICAL. 50 gallons of silicone resin is not cheap.

[@obnoxiouspriest]

@@thumbwarriordx Spite seems like as good a reason as any to get into the sex toy biz. Follow your passion!

[@Princess_Sophiekins]

Clive, this should have been done on April 1st. What a hoot though, you really had me going for a few minutes. Well done mate.

[@NinerFourWhiskey]

I've been in Scotland a few times and was ROFLMAO the whole way, an MRE composed of pot noodles and candy and a pint of whiskey. LOL, like every stereotype in a rubber bag.

[@loddude5706]

Rubber bag? Regimental condom Mk1a (report all malfunctions, damage etc. to QMS on return from service : )

[@loddude5706]

@ss - Yeah, at least Clive emptied his : )

[@michaelmacdonell4834]

Aye. Pretty much Leith, on a bad Saturday

[@AshenTechDotCom]

worst part... outside the booze, this was more healthy then some survival rations i have seen.... check out steve1984's coast guard ration video.

[@KurtRichterCISSP]

April fool's Day must be on different dates around the world

[@johnnydugas1970]

Is this all a gag? I'm so confused

[@geraldinegregory.1803]

@@johnnydugas1970 No, no, no, definitely not a gag, absolutely dead serious, just ask any Scotsman. The rare Irish military ration for officers is very nearly identical, but they also have the Tato crisps. Irish whisky or for the lower ranks, (NCOs) freeze dried Guinness.

[@KurtRichterCISSP]

@@soundspark it's possible to get radioactive materials, and it's likely for him to already have them around 🤣

[@timothybarney7257]

@@soundspark an ionizing type smoke detector will do it. The ionization is caused by a small portion of radioactive material inside.

[@rgarito]

He's practicing...

[@chuckoneill2023]

Wait, this cant be real - BLENDED SCOTCH!! The official MRE would use Single Malt.

[@grumpyoldman3458]

Single Malt is for officers only.

[@Matt_The_Hugenot]

The army always does it on the cheap.

[@themightyculsh]

I'd have thought it would've been Buckfast

[@kaitlyn__L]

@@grumpyoldman3458 that got a good chuckle out of me.

[@GaiaDanu]

Chuck Oneill I figured that blended whisky means that the fellows cannot fight about which single malt is the best - which would be so bad for morale

[@alanfaulkner6329]

The Yorkie in our old rations actually has “Not for Civvies” on it 😁.

[@TheCooperman666]

Can confirm this + they were larger and wider kinda like a large turkish delight bar.

[@mikeprice2311]

You mad bugger. Did Ralf catch you buying that bargain bin blend and you felt like you had to concoct a back story for it to avoid being disowned?

[@bigclivedotcom]

I'll offer him some next time he's over to see his reaction.

[@marcbernhardt6183]

@@bigclivedotcom Tell Ralfy that you bought it at Aldi's. That will make it acceptable.

[@CompoundInterest-SG]

@@bigclivedotcom You should probably wear a face shield as you do that.

[@keyworksurfer]

Ralfy has reviewed this "bargain bin blend", and had a lot of very good things to say about it.

[@mikeprice2311]

@@keyworksurfer Ah well spotted. That's what I get for trying to wind Clive up without doing my research 😉

[@milohdd]

On the bright side that thing's gonna be heating potnoodles for the next million years

[@AvoytDesign]

"It's in a very controlled system." (fuel rod slips out)

[@EthanolTailor]

I wonder what kind of dose the pot noodles got, holy shit.

[@mrdg1523]

@@EthanolTailor That's what I thought, not good.

[@Dizzledude2012]

Like a mini Chernobyl

[@miuzik8op908]

@@EthanolTailor luckily their already dead!

[@geekycow]

"Plutonium alloy" Brilliant dead-pan delivery throughout. I totally would not play Poker with Clive.

[@eformance]

I'd hate to be the guy who used his toilet paper allowance twice: First to mop up spilled hot sauce, second to clean up down there...

[@551moley]

Don't forget to keep the torn centre!

[@geraldinegregory.1803]

🙁😯😱😡😂

[@borayurt66]

Toilet paper is like an ex-girlfriend, never a good idea to use twice. :-)

[@GabdaG]

One can just use that winter snow or wash up in some creek, and then disinfect the LEFT arm with whiskey (the right one is for eating and greeting) This is not the century to be rubbing the bum about with tree material like

[@travelbugse2829]

Well, recycled toilet paper... + no gain without pain...

[@markfergerson2145]

"Passivator" was the word you were fumbling for. Otherwise your delivery was smooth as butter. If my left knee permitted you'd get a standing ovation!

[@markfergerson2145]

@Tt Miller I'm *old*. If both knees don't want to co-operate I'm not getting up.

[@medic-iw6qx]

I literally love this video, a mere like button simply does not cut the mustard...

[@braveheartthecommentor5805]

The cooling rod can also be used later as a spirit level to make sure you get straight branches for the fire

[@Adam-McG]

I’ve been eating Scottish MREs here in America every day since 1979.

[@kotian9]

Yaaa ... Its been used in India since time in memorial

[@johnbrown4937]

where are you getting them from and how much

[@jmullentech]

@Old Luke ^ oi! whale oil beef hooked! getta load ah dis fookin lad!! dat be a solid /r/wooosh right dere boyo! Slàinte mhath!

[@StealthyOgre]

So.... Chocolate, whiskey and radioactivity.... That's a winning diet if I ever heard!

[@arcticbadger1]

Do you have offspring & if so do they have two heads and three eyes? ☢️ (Sarcasm) 🥴🤗

[@WowIndescribable]

Damn you, Clive! I watched this immediately when it was published, so there were no comments yet. A couple of days prior, my Scottish horticulture teacher had just been telling me about the rations of booze he used to get as an enlisted man so the booze did not throw me off at all. High-calorie & sugary treats, well sure why not. But the nuke heater blew my mind! Was so wowed that I though 'I must have one of these'. After much unsuccessful searching for such a thing, and no luck finding an MRE by the same name, I came back here to see if anyone else had some clues in the comments and...the rest is history! You are awesome good sir! Damn, you!

[@seraphina985]

Hah I didn't know for sure that it was fake but was suspicious that I hadn't heard of this application, the use of plutonium decay as a heat source and to produce power through the thermoelectric effect is very common in unmanned space probes (The ability to produce power for literally decades plus the very high energy per unit mass being key here). But then I also know that even though the RTG's are relatively inefficient these devices do have on the order of kilograms of plutonium even in a relatively small probe so this did seem odd guess that is the benefit of working on having a broad base of knowledge lot harder for someone to sell you some psudoscience that doesn't at least make you think "Doubt, lets see if this really is the case".

[@snaz27]

I could tell from the packaging it was fake, no way a ration pack would be that loosely packed lol...

[@steveroberts1861]

Those TARDIS black brand ration bags are so useful.

[@markfergerson2145]

Well, they needed something that was Bigger On The Inside...

[@Peter_S_]

Agreed, I've got three full flats of furniture tucked into one, but I can't lift it out of the drawer.

[@revolverguy]

Thanks for this, I 100 percent just scoured the internet for one of those ration heaters to incorporate into my water system to keep it from freezing in the winter. Hook, line, sinker.

[@jamesjrovira]

Is it April 1st already? Where has the year gone?

[@AndreasDelleske]

The outside temperature here in Germany right now is too high for April 1st.

[@MrHack4never]

Man, 2020 went by so quickly

[@psirvent8]

Thought the same 😂

[@joj.]

@@AndreasDelleske No, that's the global warming....

[@carlrobson5745]

Had to check the date myself😂

[@SlainByTheWire]

I wish this was real, this is the most Scottish ration pack ever.

[@Jason-iz6ob]

Lain wait. Are you saying it’s not real?

[@reeman2.0]

@@aristotlepovey9866 Same until he brought out the "Radioactive heater"

[@maicod]

you've been CliveRolled :D EDIT: the alarm bells went ringing for me once he took out the whole pack of caramel wafers and especially the scottish whiskey. This one beats Fanny Flambeaux :) Well Done Clive Well Done !!!

[@khalidyassein3803]

I noticed when he had everything laid out 🤣

[@deanrussell2224]

I can’t believe I missed this at the time bloody brilliant- as has been said Steve needs to watch this and then do a fake electronics fix - what a crossover that would be

[@joannaforbes520]

"Military grade tea cake" lmao

[@andrewlove7819]

Joanna Forbes all tea cakes are military grade

[@harrisonbrown7267]

Definitely don't want to burst that one on your forehead!

[@nullvoid564]

Off the shelf pot noodle, Co-Op Whiskey, Nuclear reactor, HOLY SHIT Military grade tea chockies!

[@BlackEpyon]

​@@nullvoid564 More along the lines of an RTG, since there's no "reaction" taking place here, just passive decay heat.

[@nullvoid564]

@@BlackEpyon Some older Pacemaker batteries exist using nuclear batteries, Crematoriums routinely have issues with lithium batteries and that's something that postal companies and airplanes restrict, You'd be in deeper shit if you had the wrong amount of nuclear batteries than lithium types so there is that. But Dat extra thic chocolate coating doe!

[@Andrew_Erickson]

From the instructions card: Do not insert fuel rod into urethra, doing so will not turn you into a "Dongzilla"

[@64Pete]

Instructions unclear, got my dongzilla caught in the ceiling fan...

[@abdullahtshabal9522]

Turning into Dongzilla just gives it *more* reason to jam a fuel rod down the knob

[@tybo09]

Warning or advice?

[@apodis4900]

I knew it was a prank video, the Scots would never settle for anything under a full bottle. 😂

[@ENKTDeeColon_and_randomnumbers]

Usual MRE: Some meal to heat up in a bag, maybe something in a can, instant coffee Scottish MRE: CHOCOLATE, POT NOODLES, IRN BRU, WHISKY, VAPE AND RADIATION

[@neilharris1021]

I put off watching this for a few days as I though, oh no, not another MRE review. I am so glad I got around to watching it - one of the best ever!

[@agentblackfyre5922]

bigclivedot is a complete phony. By ww1 ration achool was reduced to 1 shot of rum and now is completly reduced. Also soldiers would tottaly drink it all at once, and drunk soldiers are gonna become very drunk wae crimanals. A normal water activated heater is far more effective, then your totally not fake radioactive heater. Since the heater comes in every ration that means you throw it away each time leaving toxic material on the gound. And if they have a way to dispose of nuclear meterial on the field. It still be cheaper more space efficent and safer, then a normal ration heater. They don't eat candy, and at that no peanut m&ms you realise that some soldiers have allergies thefore can't eat the food. Also MREs are throwen around on truck bed and are damaged often. If that ration was given to troops the noodles cup wouod be leeking and the achook would be smashed with achool ruining the rest. The shot glass is the funnest thing to me not every soldier gets issued a canteen every ration they get. If you need a cup so bad they would give a metal cup in training, same for the e cig. Also a E-cigarette no just no, They would at most get a pack of nicotine gum. Plus it would break in the pack and cause the nicotine leek into the pack. They would never waste money on things that some people don't use.F

[@paulsengupta971]

Are you saying this isn't 100% believable?

[@jovangrbic97]

Impeccable deadpan kind sir, very effective misdirection!

[@mrb692]

Clive, I found someone’s discarded e-cig in a parking garage this afternoon and did what needed to be done. Naturally, that being to take it home and dismantle it. Inside it’s extruded aluminum housing, it had the same circuitry as the one you most recently featured, with that same “microphone” type switch and a 280 mAh rechargeable lithium cell. The juice chamber was two pieces of batting (similar to the material in a zippo lighter) between silicone seals, with the heating coil connected to leads that passed through the lower seal. The mouthpiece and upper seal were so easy to remove that literally all it would take to make it completely reusable is a way to recharge the battery, and yet it’s a disposable item. It’s crazy both how wasteful the e-cig industry seems to be, and how efficient they are in terms of a BoM. All in all there were maybe 15 discrete pieces, with the majority of those being for the liquid reservoir and heating coil. Edit: Here’s the link to the manufacturer’s product page for the device I disassembled: pixxipods.com/products/3-pack-georgia-peach-iced

[@optionalcoast7478]

Are you sure your not Clive that seems exactly like what he would do in this scenario

[@gmofftarki]

That's because it IS a reusable item, in what was a standard form-factor/threading, just without the charger. Probably an 808 type, like the Vapor4Life models: www.vapor4life.com/batteries/new-titan-ecig-battery/ Possibly a 510, but either way, it's a case of not reinventing the wheel and just providing the bare minimum number of already mass-manufactured parts in a package. Keep in mind that you'd also have to get more juice for the thing, either through buying additional cartridges from a company like V4L or by attempting to refill the existing cartridges (not typically with great success on the thinner "cigalike" models like the 808).

[@irrelevantdotcom]

I won a batch of 30 or so disposable ecigs in an auction for about £1.50.. Only inside the multipack, on the individual packages, was there an expiry date of a couple of years ago. So the batteries on the couple I tested were flat. I'm still trying to come up with a less distructive way of getting them apart and recharging them..

[@mrb692]

gmofftarki Not even close my dude. It was a peach flavored Pixxi pod, which are specifically advertised as disposable. At ~$7 each, it’s absolutely mind boggling how cheap the materials must be to have any sort of profit margin at that price point. Under the black plastic mouthpiece was the upper silicone seal for the juice chamber which had two pieces of batting to absorb the juice (similar to a zippo lighter). All someone would need to do to refill it is pop the top off and add some juice, at which point the inability to recharge the battery is what would kill the device. pixxipods.com/products/3-pack-georgia-peach-iced

[@gmofftarki]

@@mrb692 Ah, I was just basing it off of the ecig in the video, assuming that the one you found was similar. I know nothing about the Pixxi, or indeed any of the pod systems, since I'd moved on to refillable alternatives long before any of those became popular.

[@BrazenBob]

Can't believe it took me so long to find this... what an amazingly convincing 18 mins of creative writing The nuclear rod actually sitting in the pot noodle was too much 🤣

[@kathrynradonich3982]

Was so waiting to hear “let’s get this out on a tray... nice!” 😂 loved the vid as always

[@quinnjohn1]

That ration pack is almost exactly the same (minus the radioactive heater) as a Scottish Groundworker's standard breakfast! Unfortunately, I'm not joking!

[@richardsmith5249]

Can confirm. While they may not actually chug whisky at work, a lot of preloading with 9% Karpackie happens.

[@tomsharman3136]

This should have been uploaded on April 1st I swear...

[@BadgersLawnCare]

I checked the date on the video half way through 😂😂

[@joshuascholar3220]

@@BadgersLawnCare me too!

[@Thejigholeman]

visitor at the mre production plant:so i was thinking we could use a chemical heater instead of the radioactive rod to heat the food. mre prduction plant leader: WOT!? YOU 'INNA CLAB DRIC BACCLE WA' HOOKIN 'INNYA LADDY?!? Visitor: What did he say? British guy acting as translator: he said no.

[@stumccabe]

This ration covers all the main Scottish food groups. This is what is known in Scotland as a balanced diet.

[@neville3151]

The Italian MRE is actually a 5 course meal served by a waiter.

[@zedmeister8832]

omg I'm dying..... I was stationed in Holy Loch 88-91. Laughing the whole way through this. LOVE the ration heater.....

[@ph1gm3nt]

I confess, I'm guilty of believing it was real. I was damn near ready to move to Scotland and join the ,military.

[@Nilsy1975]

It's almost plausible. Field rations do contain high calorie foods. But it would not be stuff you could buy from your local store! Also, it can have chocolate, but the rest would be tinned meat, nuts, dried fruit, and such like. Definitely no alcohol or nuclear heaters!

[@fghhjkd]

@@Nilsy1975 So, depending on country, quite a lot of MRE's and rations do actually contain some name brand items you can buy, for instance the majority of Canadian's are prepared by Baxter's, which you can buy a lot of their products in the UK. Also, Yorkie's used to be in UK 24 hour Ration packs, however instead of the 'Not for girls' slogan, it was replaced with 'Not for civvies'. Also, from watching far too much Steve1989MREinfo, there was actually an Italian 24 ration which did come with a shot of alcohol as a morale boost, however that is the only example I'm aware of.

[@Nilsy1975]

@@fghhjkd I did a training exercise with field rations. I wasn't disputing that. I was going from the naval rations package. It definitely did not have nuclear heaters or pot nuddles! It was dried nuts, seeds, and fruits. Some jurking and sauce. Also water sterilisation. We had to live on it for 36 hours. There definitely wasn't any alcohol or nuclear power.

[@mynameisntimportant9341]

@@Nilsy1975 american MREs have m&m charms or tootsie rolls

[@mrrooter601]

fuck he had me until the "bad dragon brick" god damnit

[@robertgraham2926]

Blended scotch? Must be for the enlisted men. I'm sure officers get single malt.

[@bigclivedotcom]

Rest assured they do. That and other premium liquor.

[@pkalpha3]

@@bigclivedotcom May I ask where you bought that MRE ? I would really like to buy one to those Radiation heaters but it seems like they are really really rare. Any piece of information would be appreciated thanks.

[@muxerbaker4638]

@@bigclivedotcom i.ibb.co/7tL8sW7/image.png What actually is in that bag? I'm wondering as it's in a sealed component bag, surely it must actually be something?

[@pileofstuff]

@@pkalpha3 The hardest part is finding a bag of holding to fit everything in.

[@pkalpha3]

@@pileofstuff wdym?

[@Fifury161]

Impressive how you managed to keep the delivery straight for so long!

[@peterknutsen3070]

Do you think it was done as a single take?

[@GaryHayward]

As well as the inclusion of the "mini nuclear reactor" giving the game away, the grey "Tardis" ration bag, which would be defying the laws of physics by having to be larger on the inside than the outside to contain all that stuff in it in the first place. XD

[@alfulton5946]

Being a Canadian of Irish and Scottish decent who was in the Canadian army in the early to mid 90s i can confirm we like Whiskey. My regiment drink was sadly a vodka based drink called the drop zone which is 1 oz vodka 1oz 7up and as much Tabasco sauce as you want. 5 drops took away the taste of alcohol and the heat of the Tabasco which is very dangerous

[@marwinthedja5450]

The "Bombay Bad Boy" turned the hilariousness up to 11 XD You should sell that as a "Friday-Night-Party-Kit"!

[@KingsTownGaming]

That's a real noodle

[@splo1nger909]

Smells like heavy body odour but tasty filth

[@marksims5730]

It's real thing, I'm more of a Chicken and Mushroom man

[@unqualified-km7hv]

"alright, lets get this out on a multimeter" "nice"

[@hachikiina]

nice

[@LachskoenigIV]

nice

[@DimasHaryoGustama]

Nice hiss

[@thedebug3866]

nice

[@TomTomTomTom538]

decadent

[@dotancohen]

I'm sorry Clive, but you're going to have to explain that brick used to hold the Geiger counter off the table!

[@catfish552]

One of the guys from BD came to one of Clive's meets and brought some stuff. He also has a bag of dicks somewhere (mini replicas of BD's other products).

[@yanuehara8017]

@@catfish552 what is bd?

[@dezmondfur6271]

Yan Uehara a Company that makes dragon dildos

[@ragetist]

The fact that a Scottish army ration is technically a portable, nuclear powered hotel minibar just blows my mind and makes me respect them even more 🤔

[@skinwalker69420]

It's a joke video.

[@jaimesk1688]

"nuclear powered hotel minibar".....good lord, I love that!

[@ThisIsARubbishName]

I've been had! (I was like: hm. where is the rest of the food. Then realised.)

[@gavkit]

eBay will be full of “Trident ingot heats” next week lol

[@countzero1136]

Including genuine radioactive Chinesium :)

[@mrnmrn1]

I don't think you can ship it internationally. You can try, but maybe the SWAT will knock both on yours, and the addressee's door with a battering ram... :) I'm pretty sure sending radioactive items is quite forbidden with any postal service. They may not check the packages domestically, but at customs offices they probably do.

[@mrnmrn1]

Nevermind, I fell into it, maybe because it was 5:30 AM when I started to watch this, and I haven't sleep. I think I should go to the bed now. Clive, you naughty bear, it's not yet 1st, April.

[@Tony-dh7mz]

And five minutes later...a Chinese eBayer will have one up for sale

[@FennecTECH]

i need one of these

[@niallflinn]

"This is no ordinary Tunnock's Teacake: this is military grade"! Ha ha!

[@jasonstackhouse4189]

the chocolate was hard because its so cold in clives house , he refuses to put heating on

[@nightshadelenar]

military grade, and no fire extinguishers around. bummer.

[@PotatisSlottet]

Casually using a silicon brick from an adult toy company as a geiger counter stand... I have no words. You're a mad lad!

[@Tesshier]

TIL : "The scottish army runs on pot noodles, chocolate, irn bru and whiskey.."

[@brianm6337]

Don't forget the Plutonium! Dear god- that could be a horror movie: "Attack of the Radioactive Drunken Scottish Soldiers"

[@Arachnoid_of_the_underverse]

A drunken scotsman in a kilt is a horrible sight to see on the battlefield

[@DevinGates]

So real life inspiration for TF2's Demoman!

[@ChristophersMum]

Kovacs Domonkos Drop the e in Whisky.....it is a Scottish MRE....

[@geraldinegregory.1803]

@@ChristophersMum well that's good advice, I was never sure which one had the "e" in it. So "whiskey" is Irish? Whisky, Scottish.

[@ryanxero]

The excitement when Clive pulls out the ration heater is priceless

[@PapaWheelie1]

Wait this isn’t real? Do you think the bus to join the Scottish Army will take me back home?

[@Psibr1]

It's a ration pack for an elite unit of Scottish Neds. :D

[@TnT_F0X]

Nobody: BigClive: Uses 'don't worry' and 'mildly Radioactive' in the same sentence.

[@alexanderjuskov6743]

Clive should make a channel named "Eating with Clive." I also enjoyed his cooking with electricity videos lol

[@Stephenthebobby]

There will be someone who will think this is real! 🤣

[@bigclivedotcom]

Yes there will be lots of people who think it's real.

[@matthewellisor5835]

Stephen Lawton, what do you mean?

[@zh84]

You spoiled it for me!

[@DoryGoldberger]

Having lived with a Glaswegian this video is more truth than fiction.

[@iaing]

@@bigclivedotcom I need to buy these for my friends :). You should build them, brand them, and sell them!!!

[@leonhopkins1021]

Having been in the Scottish Army I can confirm the contents are correct. I used to have the sniper version, the items were the same except for the whiskey which was a one litre bottle.

[@MetalheadAndNerd]

Scottish snipers probably need the whiskey on duty to reduce the shaking.

[@patrickcurtis5]

Well a sniper has to steady his nerves ya know...lol

[@upgradehaus]

"This neutron absorption rod is extremely hot" *proceeds to hold with highly insulative layer of tissue paper for several second* :D

[@davenz000]

Had to check this wasn't the first of April.

[@Goldenfightinglink]

"Bad Dragon Brick" Wow, figures they'd make that size but jeez

[@tmdrake]

Rawr??

[@coolguy83852]

@@tmdrake 🤣

[@huxleywolfkin1202]

Murr

[@huxleywolfkin1202]

I was like this ration acouldn’t get any better than he brought that out and I was like oh my god

[@Geredis089]

I know they got that big, but I didn't think they made bricks.

[@dunc1958]

I've had to watch this in four bouts, I could not control my laughter. Thank you Clive for brightening an ordinary Friday evening.

[@e3498-v7l]

I'm like "yay, another Steve1989MREInfo video", only to discover Big Clive is starting some competition.

[@chezsnailez]

Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Glasgow with all that stuff!

[@stephenwoods4118]

@kzbin.info/door/TnEVImCaM1Q_6FvHVeE3Lw Great Dr. Strangelove reference

[@xxheartbrokexx100]

Best comment on KZbin ever

[@rowluxillusion5235]

Absolutely brilliant, I hope that Ralfy has given his seal of approval on the Whisky.

[@nickmiller9537]

If you can pronounce the name, it's probably shit

[@bdf2718]

Blended whisky is usually crap. Co-op own-brand anything is crap. That stuff is only drinkable if you're already pissed.

[@Paxmax]

"So what you would do is to mix the Whisky with the Irn Bru..." *Sudden upset Ralph noises* 😁

[@joeschmuccatelli2167]

It's a VERY rare Scottish army ration because it's one of a kind and Clive is the only person who was ever "issued" one.

[@jamesharris5158]

Had me going for a while, I looked up the girder, apparently it's supposed to contain ginger beer too. Going to have to try both versions and report back on my experience on both...

[@TheMatthooks]

"if you want to see how alcohol liberates aggression in the Scots..." How did I know it was going to be Glasgow? ;) Sauchiehall Street by any chance? This is brilliant.

[@nofider1]

"Drumchapel" lol

[@Sleeping_Insomiac]

Been there, done that... Watched a football game in a glaswegian pub, Bavaria Munich vs. some english club... I usually don't root for Bavaria, but in that case t'was a matter of national pride. I guess I was lucky it wasn't the rangers or I wouldn't live to tell the tale... Oh, crivens! I got addicted to Irn Bru there, and you just caused a major flashback! Damn you! Daaaaaaaamn youuuuu!

[@Jamal_Tyrone]

@@Sleeping_Insomiac On holiday once upon a time there was this Scottish bloke in a pub trying to convince this young lady and her mother (who had come to watch the rugby) to take a look at his cock tattoo.

[@helltanner3722]

Pick a window laddie yer leavin

[@pd4165]

I'm very English - sometimes I drive a Porsche through Maryhill. Yeah....*this* big. ;-P

[@phydeux]

Could you send one of these to MRESteve1989 here on KZbin? I'm sure he'd want to review and document one before they're gone. Thanks!

[@rfunk727]

I'm sure that would never pass US customs with that radioactive heater.

[@marcchambers1972]

Nice hiss....

[@daveandlouise123]

Let's put it out on a tray... nice

[@mrnmrn1]

@@rfunk727 Than wrap the whole MRE in 0.5-1mm thick lead sheet :)

[@phydeux]

@@rfunk727 - I used to ship hazmat internationally at my last workplace, and as long as you have your paperwork and packaging in order, shipping radioactive materials isn't terribly difficult. Yes, you can guarantee it will be inspected by customs, but as long as you follow IATA rules they won't give you any trouble. Don't forget, businesses and universities send small amounts of radioactive materials around all the time. Often as part of detection systems for manufacturing and analysis.

[@dannyc1222]

Complete genius, I've just watched an 18 minute video of you eating dinner and loved every second.