SCP-294 The Coffee Machine (SCP Animation)

TheRubber bring you SCP Foundation EUCLID class object, SCP-294 Animation.
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SCP 294 also known as a standard coffee vending machine, is a coffee machine that can produce any beverage through keyboard input.
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This video, being derived from www.scp-wiki.net/scp-294, is released under Creative Commons Sharealike 3.0. creativecommons.org/licenses/b...

[@galubyovo4061]

You didn't mention: A member of the investigation personnel once requested "the best drink to ever exist" upon request, the machine began to shake slightly and produce a purple liquid, after trying the drink the subject started crying saying it was indeed, the best drink to ever exist. A few weeks later the same subject committed suicide and left a note that read: sorry but after something like that; everything else is a disappointment.

[@jazukra477]

wait what.

[@roserose109]

well fuck-

[@varen5111]

He be chasing that purple dragon

[@bongster849]

Lean

[@Tabby_CatMeow]

Aw HEALL NAW

[@millersaur]

“Can only produce items that can exist in a fluid state” *makes liquid music*

[@archy656]

nope...made a liquid was change the brain like LSD...

[@zawsrdtygbhjimokpl6998]

music isn't technically an item so it doesn't break that rule

[@bunsun2954]

**makes a part of Joseph**

[@brianpj5860]

They Should ask for a cup of super-critical fissile materials! Lol

[@thesimsgirlie]

What about healing potions?

[@josephjackson1956]

“SCP-294 can produce anything that can exist in a liquid state.” Also SCP-294: producing a cup of music.

[@theonering2966]

Well I mean you can make a fluid out of a sheet of music

[@forkliftcertifiedguy7]

Do you not drink music? My favorite flavor is Nocturnes No. 1

[@LineOfThy]

it seems to suggest that non-materialistic objects can indeed exist in fluid form, we have not discovered how though.

[@maxifire32]

Music is just a sound wave, sound waves can move through gasses and liquids, it just dispensed music in a liquid

[@AssassinXMod]

@@forkliftcertifiedguy7 I like drinking Moonlight Sonata 3rd Movement

[@jador9641]

I've never wished for something fictional, to be so darn real. I would have loved to order and drink a cup of intelligence.

[@asei231]

id just drink so many slushies that are actually healthy for me. I could get rid of everything bad in them and basically make them water but TASTE like slushies. id be so much more hydrated. (note; i do not drink slushies like ever but DAMN they good)

[@ViperPain141]

DAMN RIGHT THEY'RE GOOD

[@georgiecarapella3274]

I’d love to have my own scp 294

[@memelordztheanimator7054]

I’d choose LEAN.

[@AlexRaylight]

But note that every cup is not made out of thin air, but rather the materials are taken from somewhere. So the question is... who or what would lose said intelligence?

[@cyphosmusicx]

me: *types 'dad' into machine* 294: *dispenses a cup of skimmed milk with a note reading 'he's not coming back'*

[@jullitaczajkowska4200]

Hey son im back!

[@teamryze548]

Lol

[@wontonschannel]

The worst part of this comment is the skimmed milk

[@imadrummer6494]

Lol

[@L0XIS]

Bruh u have alot of subs without uploading a vid

[@kiartoons2010]

“A cup of Joe” Well, it wasn’t lying. It was a cup of Joe. Literally.

[@codyzwa2004]

Lol its a cup of Joe

[@freshbeans]

OOOOOOOOHHHH lol I'm so stupid

[@UntalentedBrick]

joe = Joseph

[@notjasmynn]

I WOULD LIKE A CUP OF DONALD TRUMP'S HEAD

[@thedestroyasystem]

@@notjasmynn wow so edgy. fr i don't like him either but jokes like this make every anti-trumper seem like a dumb bandwagon-follower and only weakens anti-trump arguments. also no need to make a random comment section political, it's the yt equivalent of a nuke

[@rimuru9927]

I wish i could drink the "my life" cup, so i could remember everything and laugh at the things i did when i was little :)

[@Chickenman2334]

You would also remember every embarrassing moment

[@thepizzacarpizza1056]

i would ask for a cup of the detailed story of my car crash. i can remember every little detail that happened, and can write a 1000-2000 word essay on it.

[@get-money-sw4gr774]

@@thepizzacarpizza1056 how long ago was your car crash

[@Alecexo]

@@thepizzacarpizza1056 and get more from the insurance company!

[@alfaaditya6357]

You would also permanently remember every single traumatic/scary moment and carry it to your grave

[@twopercent5718]

One person apparently requested “the perfect drink”, and went into shock after drinking the odourless, lavender liquid. He later commuted suicide, stating in the note that everything felt like a let down after. Neat!

[@roberte.o.speedwagon6043]

Me: A cup of diamond 294: Sorry, only things that can be turned into a liquid This guy: Cup of music 294: Yes boss

[@martinpachon2235]

mr. speedwagon what are you doing here??? shouldnt u be narrating a fight or something

[@a01073791533]

H

[@sr.skulletongrin8755]

When I drink alcohol enough, my ears ring. This could be music.

[@roberte.o.speedwagon6043]

@@sr.skulletongrin8755 I swear to God, if "Cup of music" gives me tinnitus then that's hilarious XD

[@a01073791533]

Robert E. O. Speedwagon but I have tinnitus 🥺

[@JL-ef7bh]

"A Cup of blood from my worst enemy" Repeat until person is dead.

[@dezin_racing]

Then you recognize that you are your worst enemy

[@whatthewhatthe9117]

Dezin mood

[@pumpkinwooog]

bruh im not tryna die

[@so-tz8lp]

a cup of brain

[@jamessuhr4074]

ask for a cup of their white blood cells, they'd die to some of the simplest, most common bacteria and viruses around them.

[@allisproduction2716]

"a cup of joe" This guy knows what he's doing

[@Toetoeba]

Imagine if SCP 294 could produce liquids that don't exist, like "liquid pet", a substance that when poured, coagulates into a random, well-trained pet that will bond with anyone on sight.

[@numerous_bees4224]

"I want... Dr. Pepper." The doctor named pepper:

[@razaliabrahim4293]

underrated comment

[@Eyereenah]

Pepper be like ಠ_ಠ

[@foxowar3953]

Pepper: *Oh faq*

[@user-di2xn3id6q]

“I want dr.pepper” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@witheredchica4147]

Dr.pepper: I don’t feel so good mr stark

[@legriaydrianpaula.2875]

This is a perfect example of "Becareful what you wished for"...

[@mauricio3624]

Genius

[@rebeccabernardo2263]

"Cuz baby you might get more"

[@spycakesfan7696]

Smart as ever

[@notjasmynn]

@@rebeccabernardo2263 LMFAOOO

[@darkBringer990]

@@rebeccabernardo2263 xDDD

[@MRX-tm3st]

I feel I should also mention that one time someone had requested "SCP-682 Killer" and the machine produced a purplish liquid that, when poured on 682, actually did damage! The liquid is currently undergoing analysis in order to finally end 682

[@hammartyme4859]

@@dibs6462 ye why kill 682 it could actually be useful

[@dibs6462]

note: 682 is not the machine

[@adamlion3495]

682 does not love lean

[@inky_mesa]

Me tiping:something that makes dr brights not a maniac Scp-294:This liquid can not be made.

[@uhhhh-music-man]

stick the liquid in scp-914 on coarse to dismantle the liquid into ingredients?

[@winsows11]

This SCP is the entire embodiment of the character “WHO WANTS CAWFEE”

[@rangefromtblt4047]

GIVE ME CAWFEE, PLEASE.

[@amirferdhany3177]

What if they asked for liquid Scp 500

[@XalconKugelBlitz]

Me: orders "immortality" Everyone else: We got another dr. Bright now.

[@alpacalypse988]

probably can if you request for elixir of immortality....but then do you'd most likely be contained and be another lab rat like Connor

[@brothersgt.grauwolff6716]

I think someone tried that in the SCP game only to get whacked by the SCP known as God saying "that's not allowed"

[@XalconKugelBlitz]

@@brothersgt.grauwolff6716 lol

[@lamp6909]

Xalcon I I have I have no I can’t even I can’t even think rn I That’s genius

[@Hilling_Walsh]

Drinks immortality... You : taste.... Bitter. 500 years later... Also you : plz kill me

[@I_Love_Llamas]

Joe: *Asks for a cup of Joe* 294: *Literally makes a cup of Joe* *Get Nae Nae'd*

[@iFeark]

888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888scp[pllllllllllllllllllllluuuykh6yffffffffffffffferts nhessewd34tbtweq21r54ee43\

[@travelsizedarchie]

prankd!

[@satitvita6861]

@Elijah Bernard are8😉2

[@menggokil2004]

JOE MAMA!!!

[@lord_zipher]

@@iFeark exxtdd655drrr46343w34fe4yr6u4u65r65u54ee5y4yu44ru5t4yew542rt11wr3t4h4ry5453ey43w

[@sauceyeti4381]

This one is actually kinda wholesome. I'd legit have that coffee machine in my office, had it been a real thing...

[@hammartyme4859]

Wouldn't everyone

[@jaxxxyn7217]

By far my favorite SCP. The fact that it potentially has the ability to bring extinct species back amazes me, like, let’s just bring back the dinosaurs!

[@happykat2501]

wasn't there a guy who ordered a drink that was so good that he killed himself because "everything else was just one big letdown"?

[@masonwithee6831]

It was a cup of god, I believe

[@Bendanna93]

@@masonwithee6831 The perfect drink actually

[@alanabear3684]

Yeah I remember that. He must have edited it out.

[@abacjev114]

Yeah, there was even Jesus Blood

[@vanxkren5636]

Everybody gangsta till dio requests a dio diary

[@rosimo0162]

USA realizing they can have Oil for 50 cents

[@orionpadden6290]

With the current price of oil That’s just a lot of money

[@velcranoxofficials9970]

Time to liberate that coffee machine!!

[@DouglasHanson779665]

50 cents per 12 oz. That translates to ~$50 per barrel of liquid oil. It should be noted, however, that this machine doesn't create anything. Cannonicaly, it removes the requested fluid or components of said fluid from somewhere else in the world. Hence, Agent Joe requiring medical attention after asking for a cup of himself, and the compound fluid disapearing after being retrieved by the machine. So really, the USA would just be stealing oil. Now given today's political climate, that's nothing new, but still.

[@AzureFox20]

OBJECTION! SMG4 is Australian not all meme ers are American is what I’m saying

[@MrSupercar55]

And gasoline over here in England! It’s priced at fucking £1.62 per litre!

[@jordnotter8574]

Me: *puts in "a cup that can give you all the knowledge you need to make a gun"* 5 minutes later, Me: holy shit I know how to make a machine gun!

[@hicak0242]

Ratattattatatatatattatatatattata

[@duarrabiel6033]

Me:puts in "a cups that can give you power can see future" Me:"see 2030 won't exit. " Me:fuc-

[@nicknmm09]

Look up the luty sub machine gun he was a fire arms activist who opposed gun control and to show how pointless and ineffective restrictions where against dedicated people he released a guide on how to make a sub machine gun fully automatic of course using no special equipment and only basic materials which could be found at any basic hardware store. Checkout forgotten weapons video on it for more .

[@LuizCarlos-du1pd]

Imagine "a cup that can kill scp 682

[@heywhiteanimates3675]

"My life" i would get a drink so i can rememeber everything when i lost everything on every game

[@bruh._.418]

*types joe* 294: what’s joe “Joe mama” “Hey now I feel dizzy”

[@corruptedtwo576]

Oh no

[@synkt8759]

asks for cup of candace **GETS TEXT THAT MY MOM IS IN THE HOSPITAL**

[@Theblue_entity]

@@corruptedtwo576 there's no such thing as corrupted 2 *web soft

[@boboffical3004]

@@Theblue_entity Give me your coffee

[@Theblue_entity]

@@boboffical3004 *gives you my coffee*

[@dish7877]

294: *Can’t make liquid diamond Also 294: *Makes a cup of love

[@Gamer_G33k]

Which is weird, because, why cant it just dispense liquid carbon?

[@phillewis2630]

@@Gamer_G33k Liquid carbon wouldn't exist in Earth's air pressure, or at least not for very long. That might be this SCP's limit, though it seems fine with producing liquids of high temperatures.

[@cavareenvius7886]

It's because a diamond is per definition the solid from of carbon with a crystal structure. Why things like feelings or memory can have a liquid form? My theory is that those are things we never gave the concept of a physical state before.

[@Gamer_G33k]

@@phillewis2630 It dispensed meta physical concepts in liquid state. It can probably dispense liquid carbon.

[@phillewis2630]

@@Gamer_G33k I mean to say that, because of carbon's specific chemical properties, it wouldn't exist as a liquid long enough to even be poured into the cup. It would immediately solidify into something like graphite and probably clog up the dispenser. Hence why such a machine would probably avoid substances that could potentially hinder its operation. Otherwise, if it is capable of producing things that violate the laws of physics in our universe, you could potentially end up with a situation like in the novel "The Gods Themselves" by Isaac Asimov. The machine would begin altering universal forces, like the strong and weak nuclear forces, in order to produce the requested liquids. Basically rewriting the laws of physics for our entire universe (or at the very least a localized area around the cup) in order to complete the request. Luckily it doesn't appear to have that kind of capability. Otherwise they have a potentially universe-ending machine sitting in the breakroom and don't realize it.

[@199NickYT]

The ability to recall every aspect about my entire life would be unequivocally incredible. I would drink such a drink in a heartbeat.

[@n_coder]

"SCP-294 can only deliver substances that can exist in liquid state" SCP-294: *proceeds to create a cup of someone's life story*

[@That0neNoob]

Me: types “cup of cure for cancer” Also me: thank me later

[@cassy121]

Am I a joke to you

[@ivaraslakoutakoski3622]

then also for the pandemic virus!

[@yurishusband8329]

@@cassy121 Why not ask it for a cup of cure for the Pestilence?

[@devinhopkins221]

@@yurishusband8329 true

[@Mr-Ducc]

Scp 500 is a pill that cures all diseases so you don’t need that

[@linuen34]

The SCP personnel clapping for Joe's recovery is the wholesome support we all need.

[@kellster333]

exactly!

[@actuallylid]

I thought he died?

[@AuthorOfNewborne]

Meanwhile in the middle of nowhere on the ocean SACRIFICING D class for Forgeti juice

[@nichsa8984]

@@kellster333 what happened if person insert too much coin over thousand of tons into machine that

[@nichsa8984]

@@kellster333 what happened if person insert too much coin over thousand of tons into machine that

[@Kuinten_Sim]

5:58 okay I pull up hop out at the after party

[@YTSeiyaGoFire]

"As well as instances that do not usually exist in liquid state, like Nitrogen" Me: *Laughs in Liquid nitrogen, one of the most cold liquids*

[@gav1233]

Dr. [DATA EXPUNGED]: "What do you want to drink?" Dr. [REDACTED]: "Surprise me." Dr. [DATA EXPUNGED]: "Okay." *types Surprise me* *SCP 294 dispenses what looks like plain water* *gets burnt by boiling hot water*

[@canadiangamer4762]

lol

[@allypoitras627]

Lmaooo

[@allypoitras627]

This comment of yours should have more likes

[@geoshark12]

Ally Poitras they did not come up with it , it’s something on the actual scp article

[@cyberwarrior5939]

Shut up and take my like

[@crwlermadsin1191]

I like the test where they asked the machine for "something Cassy would like". Note: Cassy is SCP-085, a two-diemsional living drawing of a female named Cassy. The vending machine, upon receiving the order, dispense a drawing of what was said to be a chocolate banana milkshake. Cassy said it was delicious.

[@namelessdork2256]

I remember. That was adorable.

[@farofa2843]

Yes. I wish SCP-294 existed. So i could ask for a cup of "September from earth wind and fire" and so after drinking, i would start to dance

[@TwiinArmagedons]

I bet Agent Joseph got alot of coworkers hating him after he put in "A cup of joe" and got the vending machine closed off

[@FumiDoku]

i want scp 294 in my room so when im thirsty i can ask for "warm milk" or "cold water"

[@MNguyen-xOrbita]

"a cup of 682" scp 682: I SENSE SOMEONE STEALING MY TOILET PAPER

[@linhmeongunuong]

Better to get a deadly poison that kills SCP682

[@circe_from_aeaea]

@@linhmeongunuong but then SCP 053 would lose her best friend and guardian :(

[@redgodmusicmore3846]

@《The Crazy Family Check》 the little girl.

[@redgodmusicmore3846]

@《The Crazy Family Check》 or young girl pretty much

[@wuyterio]

@@circe_from_aeaea i love how that experiment turned out. and i love how 682 isnt just a killing machine like some other SCP's.

[@liquidblueyes18]

This is the best and most useful SCP i have ever seen like you could literally ask for "the best chocalate milk" and boom good choccy milk

[@someguyyoufoundonyoutube8744]

this as a chance to save the damn world, type in destroyer entity bone and you'll probabky get the material to make the chains agai

[@its_saval]

i've heard story that one day someone ask for "the perfect drink" and then commit suicide because "everything is a big dissapointment now"

[@ameershehzad1080]

@@someguyyoufoundonyoutube8744 Better yet, ask for the spinal fluid of the destroyer until it's dead

[@everestlol4309]

@@ameershehzad1080 thanks i hate it

[@alialanizi7137]

If u think that is useful then look up scp 662

[@shami9773]

That thing could really help with scientific discoveries including getting cups of theoretical liquids and see if they are possible

[@herofantasyx808]

If I ever have a drink when I’m thirsty I might get some from the one called SCP-294 I’ll be totally satisfied with it. 👌😊

[@shrekdrawing5641]

Considering there are some SCPs that can kill you within a second guarding a magic coffee machine isn’t that bad

[@volteriaz]

300th like :)

[@brokenjelly2739]

303rd like 👀

[@SkivemThe1st]

590th like 👀

[@Ninja_Xdyter]

infinite coca cola machine

[@streamsniperunofficialbrea7947]

Anyone else realize you can order a cup of water from the fountain of youth from it or just me..

[@Jiedster]

"Can only produce items that can exist in a fluid state." Me, an intellectual: "Cat."

[@notfunnnydude]

Machine: Your requested liquid are beyond my reality.

[@socialistrepublicofvietnam1259]

@@notfunnnydude C A T G I R L

[@quicklight7611]

@@socialistrepublicofvietnam1259 oh shit Don't let him be a class d

[@mateololero4091]

You'll get bodily fluids from a cat

[@notfunnnydude]

@@mateololero4091 cat are fluid

[@Taha_A]

4:13 This scp can make you feel “the experience”

[@Sp3ctralI]

*types* “a cup of s-“

[@Taha_A]

@@Sp3ctralI i would type “a cup of fleshlight” to be more specific

[@343guardian5]

Alright, so we know a couple things here. 1. The vending machine has the ability to gather what is in your mind to fulfill a request. 2. "Joe" can also be short for Joseph. Is it possible that the reason the machine took fluids from Agent Joseph is because when a cup of "Joe" was requested the person ordering it briefly thought of Agent Joseph. So the machine pulled this information from the individuals brain and assumed they meant the person, and not the coffee?

[@robowisanveithasung6022]

since Agent Joseph typed it in himself, he could have been thinking about himself, leading to that result

[@ImSilentChild]

Imagine goin up to a coffee machine and getting “Liquid Gold Velveeta Cheese”

[@f-22raptorxddzs]

Ew

[@Bousiefadehouse]

🤤🤤

[@zacharyrichards4446]

@@Bousiefadehouse idk how u do that

[@zacharyrichards4446]

🐝🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯

[@tyrelllyons6963]

😳

[@proxximity7107]

Agent:*"Types in 'Cup of Joe'"* Scp-294:What's that? Agent: Joe Mama Scp-294:*"Takes DNA and Blood"*

[@femblewinter665]

I knew this was going to pop out

[@best.friend3308]

**Boho Salon flashbacks** Can I have a joe A joe Can I have a joe

[@anakiap.w1673]

Joe biden

[@theodorewilliams5279]

Yes

[@rift5458]

lolol

[@abhinavvittalam6293]

Imagine passed the insanely rigorous tests to become a security gaurd at the SCP foundation having to put your life on the line for your entire life, being exposed to horrors beyond anything you could imagine... and having to guard a vending maching

[@Dora-wu6dx]

if i had that scp i would search my life so i can remember anything that i couldnt remember because of memory loss? idk

[@vayzier9804]

No one: Scp staff: there's something in that drink that just makes ME wanna BUST A MOVE

[@woahwoahwoah7530]

UNDERRATED COMMENT

[@vanxkren5636]

I wonder if he can make cxxm

[@spungbopscarepans]

Lmao

[@reaitayma]

lucio moment

[@spungbopscarepans]

Lmao 😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂

[@jaemses]

Imagine putting “Corona Vaccine” in the machine

[@wideblue1038]

That will be OOF moment ngl

[@X0_Xpert]

oh so truuuuuuue idw corona next to my bedroom

[@AnaFlores-xx5lk]

Scp will invent covid-19 vaccine

[@magea2926]

SCP-049 have breach containment to write pestilence cure on it

[@Tabby_CatMeow]

HE IS TOO DANGEROUS TI BE KEPT ALIVE!!!!!

[@ghostfriend1694]

294: I cant make drinks out of things that cant be liquid. Also 294: makes a cup of music

[@1tz_Skull]

imagine requesting dinosaur blood and dinosaur blood actually came out, scientists and the SCP foundation would have a breakdown

[@jonobez8154]

I think there was something about a D class asking for “the best drink ever”, and receiving a lavender colour drink, after consumption, he killed himself later that night as now everything was a let down compared to the drink

[@cannibalman8175]

Dumbass could have just came everyday to visit the vending machine scp and request the same drink smh

[@z_Blitzy_z]

@@cannibalman8175 He'd need to get permission every time and it takes a while for stuff to get approved

[@TheUndyingCrystal]

@@cannibalman8175 He's a D-class. They don't have rights. He's a disposable test subject.

[@AvidEscaper]

lean 💜💜💜

[@scrubgamerplayz6327]

@@z_Blitzy_z he enjoys lean

[@dudugaming2493]

Me types: a cup of the rubber Inside the cup: "hello everybody, Im the rubber, today we bring you scp-294"

[@alterr3728]

Stolen comment

[@alexthememeboi1812]

or his insides will be present in the cup

[@TheCerealArsonist]

*gulp*

[@havikso]

Every1:huuuuuuuuhaaaaaaa😨😨😨😱 Me:hi rubber Rubber:what's he gonna say

[@jaspersbutler2784]

XD

[@__gachanells__2047]

5:12 W H A T ! ?

[@TheIndieGhost]

"It can also make the subjects feel the experience" *"um so yeah I'd like a cup of happiness"*

[@hammartyme4859]

Dispensing scp 999 continues...

[@ParanoidParamour]

The machine after giving Joseph a “cup of Joe”: Why are you booing me? I’m right.

[@noahi.1381]

He is right though.

[@nichsa8984]

@@noahi.1381 upgrage this machine with a prompt command type act

[@cheesecakelasagna]

It's literally just doing its job. Poor SCP.

[@ruthpendergrast8857]

R/technicallythetruth

[@chip5892]

“Music tastes like alcohol.” Makes sense to me.

[@armandmoharos4890]

Concert lol

[@Carbon-cringe-human]

You get drunk then dance

[@zacharypeterson4178]

Coachella makes so much sense now

[@Forsakianity]

a drink that will give me the adaptation abilities of scp 682 without making me look non human while staying myself mentally and psychologically maintaining every thing im able to do currently, excluding taking damage and dying

[@ren4806]

This is both terrifying and helpful at the same time

[@mr.depthleviathan5425]

Agent: Hey, can i get something? SCP 294: Sure, what do you need? Agent: I need a hug. SCP 294: *becomes animate and hugs agent*

[@ms.chicolato5949]

Noice

[@morganmillington2388]

New agent/me: *asks permission to use the machine* (not real. Just acting)

[@unrue1048]

*makes you a cup of scp 999

[@real_goldfoxplayz9637]

Hol'up

[@Inkexplinkmachine1042]

Can i have a cup of Cartoon cat

[@mtnetsurfer]

Not gonna mention the time a researcher asked the coffee machine for "Something Cassy would like?" It turned out to be a drawing of a chocolate banana milkshake with whipped cream, which Cassy greatly enjoyed.

[@katiemckinney9456]

Aw, that's actually pretty wholesome.

[@afailureofaanimator6744]

Cassy?

[@georgiecarapella3274]

And a guy asked the perfect drink then committed suicide

[@afailureofaanimator6744]

@@georgiecarapella3274 yeah…

[@fusbhas3191]

@@afailureofaanimator6744 SCP-085, a living drawing

[@bucketofbread345]

Joe: I would like a cup of Joe SCP 294: *sarcastic response*

[@killjoy8745]

I cant stop thinking about how someone's car was just missing a cup of motor oil when that was requested

[@indedulous4579]

USA when they realize it can produce oil: I’LL tAkE yOuR eNtIrE sToCk

[@allypoitras627]

YeS but it takes liquids from other places so wouldn't that just be putting the gas that's already in a tank into a cup

[@metal9076]

@@allypoitras627 but how do you explain the "my life drink"

[@LeuBlue]

@@metal9076 it came from another dimension

[@LegoEngineer003]

Ally Poitras if it’s not from your tank, it’s not your problem

[@pyrosimba2014]

@@allypoitras627 I imagine that if you place the machine above an oil reservoir and ask for crude oil, it'll remove the oil from the Earth. It removes the need for expensive drill and processing. You can then just skip straight to oil refinement.

[@in4mee]

Me: "Can I please get a cup containing everyone who loves me?" Also me: "why is the cup empty" Edit: I'm okay. thanks for asking though

[@ultimatetrashboy419]

294: that’s because I love you.

[@emilycatalan7644]

Its becouse no one lovesyou :p Edit: BRUH attention seeker.

[@andromedabaskoro9013]

XD

[@trashmammal9203]

Good to see you're doing ok m8

[@HcazZach]

100th like

[@mogetfog]

my favorite request was the "cup of pertinent medical knowledge" a staff member requested while locked in the break room with another injured staff member during an unrelated containment breach. it produced a drink that allowed the staff member to treat the wounds of the his injured colleague sufficiently until help arrived.

[@birdsrepic5609]

"Scp- 294 is a euclid class object" So your telling me that a vending machine is considered more dangerous then literal god (Scp 343 is a safe class object) himself?

[@villanuevaemmanuelhesuss.1518]

welp.. euclid class just means unpredictable and it's threat level varies but still containable while keter means a threat to human population, containment will be hard but still possible. which means scp-294 is something in between safe and euclid. safe because it's "virtually" harmless in fact rather useful until these two dumbass agents tryna mess with it but thanks to them scp-294 proves itself that it was more than a "magic" vending machine the gives you what you desire but can be further used as a research tool or even perhaps a weapon but scp-343 is different it's something in between safe and apollyon class (i don't know if i spelled apollyon right but apollyon basically means a world ender and containment is impossible as far as i can remember) but further investigation proves the scp-343 is no threat he even volunteer to get rid of the other threat (go see that event where he deals with that reality bending little girl that i forgot the name) so anyway he was supposed to be classified as euclid but due to his nature he would be reclassified as safe

[@hammartyme4859]

Yes

[@AndyHappyGuy]

Me: Cup of stupidity Coffee Machine: Empty cup with the label "YOU" on it.

[@kingbowser4542]

A cup of my blood

[@axolotlandrez380]

Your videos are very entertaining, keep up the good work!👍😁

[@sauraplay2095]

Great video rubber!

[@akhan2467]

"a cup of Joe" that machine is a smartass lmao

[@shepgmonster9641]

the smart ass machine (sing song voice)

[@XxZalllinIsBallinxX_THEREAL]

joe mama

[@kosovartupac9579]

Joseph : gimmie a cup of joe Machine : Ok smartass

[@lamazmorradelesqueleto7166]

I dont understand

[@trent800]

@@lamazmorradelesqueleto7166 joe is coffee

[@urgottheheadsmanspride6934]

"But why would you need people to guard a coffee machine" Next thing you know some d-class serial killers running around carrying cups filled with literal death

[@zoltanadam-muller591]

aka. Corona Virus XD

[@sirlambchops.]

G I V E M E A C U P O F D E A T H

[@thenonkiller2999]

Lol

[@ToiletGaming]

What think it would happen if you type "A cup of death" in the machine? What colour the drink will have? What it would taste like?

[@drypedyxplaysgames9341]

Me: orders a cup of 2020 Vending Machine: gives me a cup of hell Me: Just what i ordered! :D

[@Roovy_Rover]

2:18 Bro got pranked by coffee machine so hard that he went to hospital

[@sirlisuld6974]

5:53 =capybara

[@brug1313]

One guy asked for “ The Perfect Drink” and killed himself later because everything just became a big letdown

[@nebunulajokur]

yeah idk why he didn't mention that in the video

[@LoverboyTousey]

The drink or everything else except the drink

[@wr41th54]

i saw a person ask for a cup of God and he also killed himself

[@crimson774wprincess2]

facepalm* oh my pinking god.

[@brug1313]

Jean Léveillé lol good point idk maybe he was only allowed to have 1 turn at the coffee machine

[@travotski]

Someone: Starts typing “Atomic” SCP294: One big bang coming up.

[@Christopherus_Jordanus]

Personel Termination Allowed

[@jamesneo-lk8zx]

@@Christopherus_Jordanus ok i stooped that someone from pressing enter and made him drink acid insted, dont ask how im here but can i join the founation

[@notaveragecr6041]

Type "something" into 294 in Containment Breach, see what happens.

[@lukassykora1557]

When you can ask for life story. It would be smart to ask for knowledge about every scp that exists.

[@salmon4114]

what if he goes in “among us joe mama lol” *AMONG US MAMA DRINK*

[@noobythings]

*Types in impostor* 4 hours later "Strange person classified as SCP-294-[REDACTED] is a very hostile creature that has the form of an astronaut from the game Among Us. It can take any vent and appear from another vent across the entire universe. The cause of transportation is unknown. SCP-294-[REDACTED] Has been observed killing people in a form of obliterating them in half, leaving the bottom half still intact."

[@vehicleunhandler]

Cup of sus

[@captainbirch2.079]

Imagine typing in "Poison that can permanently kill scp 682"

[@DouglasHanson779665]

It would probably just end up like any other insta-perma-kill attack's result against 682. Sure, it dies, but it gets better almost instantly.

[@Fridaey13txhOktober]

"Vaccine 4 the gay!"

[@Projectionater]

@@Fridaey13txhOktober Is that meant to be offensive towards gays?

[@TheLandOfDreams]

THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING

[@strawberrymilk6666]

@@Fridaey13txhOktober is that supposed to be offensive or?

[@NGMonocrom]

SCP-294 Potentially dangerous, based on what a person requests. The guards are there not to protect people from it. But to protect people from themselves.

[@AxisChurchDevotee]

Last thing they need is someone ordering a cup of nuke or anti matter.

[@cardboardking577]

@@AxisChurchDevotee me being shot by the guards after attempting to drink nuca-cola

[@MrGamenerd9999]

Such as requesting the brain matter of whoever's name you type, or in Containment Breach where you can request anti-matter

[@heyu2395]

@@AxisChurchDevotee can a nuke be a liquid?

[@AxisChurchDevotee]

@@heyu2395 Yes as in scp containment breach, you can order a cup of nuke which results in a nuclear explosion that destroys the facility though it also leaves scp 914 intact.

[@logan808x9]

My favorite SCP. Also I love your videos!!! No other SCP guy that is better than you!!!

[@unknownedleaf]

few fun scps: The Big Orange Forklift: Anomalous Effect: you really want to ride the forklift Never-Ending Pizza Box: Anomalous Effect: it’s in the name, duh Coffee Machine: Anomalous Effect: you can get any drink you want, even a cup of joe (not recommended)

[@bobthebobman7457]

Types: “Cure for anything” *gets cyanide*

[@user-ii5xg7vi1l]

*A surprise to be sure, but a welcomed one*

[@zarahalora7567]

that profil pic tho

[@user-ii5xg7vi1l]

@@zarahalora7567 he do be big brain tho

[@omoriperocondrip9130]

*gets a liquid version of SCP-500*

[@ryaquaza3offical]

I used to know someone who drank cyanide and I can tell you, he never complained about his back pain again

[@dxrkerrxses]

Video: *Its safe for human use* Random guy named Joe: **Types cup of Joe** SCP: **Gives him his own blood** Me: *Totally safe*

[@srlopez875]

Its safe and even good for mankind the problem is that being able to produce any liquid substance for example black matter or a cup of ácid if the Scp foundation where able to program the Scp to limit its "drinks" it would be awesome

[@sscookiebuiscuit8299]

Hol up couldn't we also end the world if we type in blackhole?

[@lilpuro2152]

SrLópez that would defeat the purpose tho. Also that would limit the amount of test they can do on it, also they might ruin the machine if they try to dissemble or reprogram it, which would be to big of a risk considering the value it has.

[@Bluecheese1400]

sscookiebuiscuit Black hole doesn’t have a liquid form

[@babybrainjohnson]

Well he recoverd

[@headlites33]

I know that scp 303 can somehow scare every guard and get himself "the best coffee ever with coffe creamer" with this scp.

[@REPUBLICDESERTIA]

Imagine having an SCP-249 machine in your kitchen

[@orientalparadigm2934]

" A cup of intelligence, please" *UNABLE*

[@lucaspeng5063]

*OUT OF RANGE*

[@chrishansen1842]

@@lucaspeng5063 ouch

[@JukoYT]

Empty cup

[@AhnafHafendy]

*INSTANT SHUT DOWN*

[@ShyGames0]

That actually works in the Containment Breach game. Your character basically says exactly what he needs to do to escape when he drinks it.

[@discomfortmanifest8370]

catch me ordering "no calorie chocolate milk" so i can finally live my dream of drinking gallons of the stuff without becoming SPC 2059

[@shadykoithefishofthepond9407]

You did SCP 2059 DIRTY DAMN I'd ask for Garefield Juice

[@tomasbm4423]

“A cup of good luck” *Scientist proceds to finally kill scp-682 and gets the biggest promotion of his life.*

[@menfps]

this gotta be my favorite scp for now

[@M-B17]

Dude, the amount of great drinks you could make with this is crazy. You could request for a cup of love and either receive the best feeling in the form of liquid or a sticky substance that you were not expecting.

[@ihavenoideabuddy]

Sticky substance.. 😳

[@Darthwgamer]

Oh boy

[@matyaskassay4346]

in the scp video game you can actually type feces in the machine and it makes it. The character won't drink it tho.

[@AvidEscaper]

"sticky substance that you were not expecting" *W O K E*

[@Darthwgamer]

@@matyaskassay4346 Hmm I wonder why

[@gwvssvwg3025]

A cup of my achievements in my life 294: request unknown

[@100sergioaguilar]

294:req-+ERROR+

[@giveyourlifetochrist6034]

Hey don't sell yourself short you've probably got tons of achievements if not look to the near future

[@Collin212]

*Request has been denied, nothing found*

[@gwvssvwg3025]

@@giveyourlifetochrist6034 thanks for cheering me up but.. why do i even exist? for whom? for what? Why?!

[@workhardism]

@RYAN ZHAO sad

[@breadstickenjoyer83]

Theres good scp animators, and there’s this guy mixed in.

[@Z_Viper08]

This is literally just the best drink machine ever

[@luke769animations]

So when Joe said he wanted a “Cup of Joe”… he drank a clone of himself? WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO FULL OF HIMSELF? So selfish…

[@zacharypeterson4178]

If he were full of himself, how is he still hungry?

[@arosegaming4793]

The cup of joe is its own scp, and frankly its quite horrendous. I wouldn't wish that particular death on anyone.

[@nichsa8984]

@Zeta Darus promp meanwhile this coffee machine appear screen as saying "are you sure this long enough and please press n or y" n as a not and y as a yes word long enough

[@beezle.]

I want a unicorn frapachino.... Not because I like unicorns because I want to eat unicorn

[@mylesj4380]

Zeta Darus he didn’t drink it, he passed out just after the cup was made

[@imadrummer6494]

The need to put in “a drink that calms you forever” and give it to shy guy

[@enderjed2523]

Thunder Wolf Could also work on the hard to destroy reptile.

[@_Killkor]

SCP-096 test: D-class: *gives the drink and leaves* SCP-096: drinks obediently as asked, but instantly spits it after 5 seconds and, now enraged, kills everyone in a nearby vicinity. [TEST FAILED, Result: violent containment breach] SCP-682 test: Researcher: *gives the drink and leaves* SCP-682: .............................. *grunts mockingly* ... you guys think, I'm that dumb? You're even more pathetic than I thought. I know, it's [DATA EXPUNGED] and, no, I'm not gonna drink it, you apes. Researchers: it's..... what? What did you named it? SCP-682: *roars angrily* Haven't you clean your [EXPLETIVE] ears, you [EXPLETIVE]. Get this cup out of my sight. [TEST FAILED, Result: SCP-682 rejected the consumption] Researcher: _Apparently, he knows what this substance is. No wonder he reacted this way._

[@alexk9642]

@@_Killkor damn that's good

[@piggyman-st8iu]

Lol I thought you were referring to the Mario Shy Guys. Guess that would help them, too.

[@TIRFemcel]

I don't think shy guy can consume drinks..

[@DaltonIzHere]

Imagine the random shit you could make: Want to sing really good, put in “Power to perfectly sing anything.” Other random stuff like: “Cancer Cure” “Cup of Mario” “Good game development skills” “A good book idea” If it can make abstract stuff like love and music, it can do some other stuff.

[@askeleton1429]

an scp: is dangerous the scp foundation: alakazam alakazane you now have a -01 after name

[@miguelle4756]

*Input: “A cup of Half Life 3.”* **pours** *_there is nothing to drink_*

[@leenie4705]

Half-Life Alyx?

[@TheRadElectric]

Input: a cup of portal 3 **pours** Output: portal stories mel (the closest thing you could really get to portal 3

[@eliasrahimi9363]

A cup of tf3 pls *nope*

[@ImaPizzaK]

There is something to drink

[@n0va491]

OHHH S H * T