SCP-294 The Coffee Machine (SCP Animation)

[@JL-ef7bh]

"A Cup of blood from my worst enemy" Repeat until person is dead.

[@dezin_racing]

Then you recognize that you are your worst enemy

[@whatthewhatthe9117]

Dezin mood

[@pumpkinwooog]

bruh im not tryna die

[@so-tz8lp]

a cup of brain

[@jamessuhr4074]

ask for a cup of their white blood cells, they'd die to some of the simplest, most common bacteria and viruses around them.

[@galubyovo4061]

You didn't mention: A member of the investigation personnel once requested "the best drink to ever exist" upon request, the machine began to shake slightly and produce a purple liquid, after trying the drink the subject started crying saying it was indeed, the best drink to ever exist. A few weeks later the same subject committed suicide and left a note that read: sorry but after something like that; everything else is a disappointment.

[@jazukra477]

wait what.

[@roserose109]

well fuck-

[@varen5111]

He be chasing that purple dragon

[@bongster849]

Lean

[@Tabby_CatMeow]

Aw HEALL NAW

[@millersaur]

“Can only produce items that can exist in a fluid state” *makes liquid music*

[@archy656]

nope...made a liquid was change the brain like LSD...

[@zawsrdtygbhjimokpl6998]

music isn't technically an item so it doesn't break that rule

[@bunsun2954]

**makes a part of Joseph**

[@brianpj5860]

They Should ask for a cup of super-critical fissile materials! Lol

[@fishbloom]

What about healing potions?

[@josephjackson1956]

“SCP-294 can produce anything that can exist in a liquid state.” Also SCP-294: producing a cup of music.

[@theonering2966]

Well I mean you can make a fluid out of a sheet of music

[@forkliftcertifiedguy7]

Do you not drink music? My favorite flavor is Nocturnes No. 1

[@LineOfThy]

it seems to suggest that non-materialistic objects can indeed exist in fluid form, we have not discovered how though.

[@maxifire32]

Music is just a sound wave, sound waves can move through gasses and liquids, it just dispensed music in a liquid

[@AssassinXMod]

@@forkliftcertifiedguy7 I like drinking Moonlight Sonata 3rd Movement

[@legriaydrianpaula.2875]

This is a perfect example of "Becareful what you wished for"...

[@mauricio3624]

Genius

[@rebeccabernardo2263]

"Cuz baby you might get more"

[@spycakesfan7696]

Smart as ever

[@iconicOBCD]

@@rebeccabernardo2263 LMFAOOO

[@darkBringer990]

@@rebeccabernardo2263 xDDD

[@roberte.o.speedwagon6043]

Me: A cup of diamond 294: Sorry, only things that can be turned into a liquid This guy: Cup of music 294: Yes boss

[@martinpachon2235]

mr. speedwagon what are you doing here??? shouldnt u be narrating a fight or something

[@a01073791533]

H

[@sr.skulletongrin8755]

When I drink alcohol enough, my ears ring. This could be music.

[@roberte.o.speedwagon6043]

@@sr.skulletongrin8755 I swear to God, if "Cup of music" gives me tinnitus then that's hilarious XD

[@a01073791533]

Robert E. O. Speedwagon but I have tinnitus 🥺

[@kiartoons2010]

“A cup of Joe” Well, it wasn’t lying. It was a cup of Joe. Literally.

[@codyzwa2004]

Lol its a cup of Joe

[@freshbeans]

OOOOOOOOHHHH lol I'm so stupid

[@UntalentedBrick]

joe = Joseph

[@iconicOBCD]

I WOULD LIKE A CUP OF DONALD TRUMP'S HEAD

[@thedestroyasystem]

@@iconicOBCD wow so edgy. fr i don't like him either but jokes like this make every anti-trumper seem like a dumb bandwagon-follower and only weakens anti-trump arguments. also no need to make a random comment section political, it's the yt equivalent of a nuke

[@jador9641]

I've never wished for something fictional, to be so darn real. I would have loved to order and drink a cup of intelligence.

[@asei231]

id just drink so many slushies that are actually healthy for me. I could get rid of everything bad in them and basically make them water but TASTE like slushies. id be so much more hydrated. (note; i do not drink slushies like ever but DAMN they good)

[@ViperPain141]

DAMN RIGHT THEY'RE GOOD

[@georgiecarapella3274]

I’d love to have my own scp 294

[@memelordztheanimator7054]

I’d choose LEAN.

[@AlexRaylight]

But note that every cup is not made out of thin air, but rather the materials are taken from somewhere. So the question is... who or what would lose said intelligence?

[@linuen34]

The SCP personnel clapping for Joe's recovery is the wholesome support we all need.

[@KellyTheReiss]

exactly!

[@actuallylid]

I thought he died?

[@AuthorOfNewborne]

Meanwhile in the middle of nowhere on the ocean SACRIFICING D class for Forgeti juice

[@nichsa8984]

@@KellyTheReiss what happened if person insert too much coin over thousand of tons into machine that

[@nichsa8984]

@@KellyTheReiss what happened if person insert too much coin over thousand of tons into machine that

[@happykat2501]

wasn't there a guy who ordered a drink that was so good that he killed himself because "everything else was just one big letdown"?

[@masonwithee6831]

It was a cup of god, I believe

[@Bendanna93]

@@masonwithee6831 The perfect drink actually

[@alanabear3684]

Yeah I remember that. He must have edited it out.

[@abacjev114]

Yeah, there was even Jesus Blood

[@vanxkren5636]

Everybody gangsta till dio requests a dio diary

[@XalconKugelBlitz]

Me: orders "immortality" Everyone else: We got another dr. Bright now.

[@alpacalypse988]

probably can if you request for elixir of immortality....but then do you'd most likely be contained and be another lab rat like Connor

[@brothersgt.grauwolff6716]

I think someone tried that in the SCP game only to get whacked by the SCP known as God saying "that's not allowed"

[@XalconKugelBlitz]

@@brothersgt.grauwolff6716 lol

[@lamp6909]

Xalcon I I have I have no I can’t even I can’t even think rn I That’s genius

[@Hilling_Walsh]

Drinks immortality... You : taste.... Bitter. 500 years later... Also you : plz kill me

[@rimuru9927]

I wish i could drink the "my life" cup, so i could remember everything and laugh at the things i did when i was little :)

[@Chickenman2334]

You would also remember every embarrassing moment

[@thepizzacarpizza1056]

i would ask for a cup of the detailed story of my car crash. i can remember every little detail that happened, and can write a 1000-2000 word essay on it.

[@get-money-sw4gr774]

@@thepizzacarpizza1056 how long ago was your car crash

[@Alecexo]

@@thepizzacarpizza1056 and get more from the insurance company!

[@alfaaditya6357]

You would also permanently remember every single traumatic/scary moment and carry it to your grave

[@liquidblueyes18]

This is the best and most useful SCP i have ever seen like you could literally ask for "the best chocalate milk" and boom good choccy milk

[@someguyyoufoundonyoutube8744]

this as a chance to save the damn world, type in destroyer entity bone and you'll probabky get the material to make the chains agai

[@its_saval]

i've heard story that one day someone ask for "the perfect drink" and then commit suicide because "everything is a big dissapointment now"

[@ameershehzad1080]

@@someguyyoufoundonyoutube8744 Better yet, ask for the spinal fluid of the destroyer until it's dead

[@everestlol4309]

@@ameershehzad1080 thanks i hate it

[@alialanizi7137]

If u think that is useful then look up scp 662

[@gav1233]

Dr. [DATA EXPUNGED]: "What do you want to drink?" Dr. [REDACTED]: "Surprise me." Dr. [DATA EXPUNGED]: "Okay." *types Surprise me* *SCP 294 dispenses what looks like plain water* *gets burnt by boiling hot water*

[@canadiangamer4762]

lol

[@allypoitras627]

Lmaooo

[@allypoitras627]

This comment of yours should have more likes

[@geoshark12]

Ally Poitras they did not come up with it , it’s something on the actual scp article

[@cyberwarrior5939]

Shut up and take my like

[@crwlermadsin1191]

I like the test where they asked the machine for "something Cassy would like". Note: Cassy is SCP-085, a two-diemsional living drawing of a female named Cassy. The vending machine, upon receiving the order, dispense a drawing of what was said to be a chocolate banana milkshake. Cassy said it was delicious.

[@namelessdork2256]

I remember. That was adorable.

[@farofa2843]

Yes. I wish SCP-294 existed. So i could ask for a cup of "September from earth wind and fire" and so after drinking, i would start to dance

[@Toetoeba]

Imagine if SCP 294 could produce liquids that don't exist, like "liquid pet", a substance that when poured, coagulates into a random, well-trained pet that will bond with anyone on sight.

[@mtnetsurfer]

Not gonna mention the time a researcher asked the coffee machine for "Something Cassy would like?" It turned out to be a drawing of a chocolate banana milkshake with whipped cream, which Cassy greatly enjoyed.

[@katiemckinney9456]

Aw, that's actually pretty wholesome.

[@afailureofaanimator6744]

Cassy?

[@georgiecarapella3274]

And a guy asked the perfect drink then committed suicide

[@afailureofaanimator6744]

@@georgiecarapella3274 yeah…

[@fusbhas3191]

@@afailureofaanimator6744 SCP-085, a living drawing

[@That0neNoob]

Me: types “cup of cure for cancer” Also me: thank me later

[@cassy121]

Am I a joke to you

[@Dimension_eleven]

then also for the pandemic virus!

[@yurishusband8329]

@@cassy121 Why not ask it for a cup of cure for the Pestilence?

[@devinhopkins221]

@@yurishusband8329 true

[@Mr-Ducc]

Scp 500 is a pill that cures all diseases so you don’t need that

[@bruh._.418]

*types joe* 294: what’s joe “Joe mama” “Hey now I feel dizzy”

[@corruptedtwo576]

Oh no

[@synkt8759]

asks for cup of candace **GETS TEXT THAT MY MOM IS IN THE HOSPITAL**

[@Bip_the_youtuber]

@@corruptedtwo576 there's no such thing as corrupted 2 *web soft

[@boboffical3004]

@@Bip_the_youtuber Give me your coffee

[@Bip_the_youtuber]

@@boboffical3004 *gives you my coffee*

[@sauceyeti4381]

This one is actually kinda wholesome. I'd legit have that coffee machine in my office, had it been a real thing...

[@hammartyme4859]

Wouldn't everyone

[@jonobez8154]

I think there was something about a D class asking for “the best drink ever”, and receiving a lavender colour drink, after consumption, he killed himself later that night as now everything was a let down compared to the drink

[@cannibalman8175]

Dumbass could have just came everyday to visit the vending machine scp and request the same drink smh

[@z_Blitzy_z]

@@cannibalman8175 He'd need to get permission every time and it takes a while for stuff to get approved

[@TheUndyingCrystal]

@@cannibalman8175 He's a D-class. They don't have rights. He's a disposable test subject.

[@AvidEscaper]

lean 💜💜💜

[@scrubgamerplayz6327]

@@z_Blitzy_z he enjoys lean

[@Negligente5]

Considering there are some SCPs that can kill you within a second guarding a magic coffee machine isn’t that bad

[@volteriaz]

300th like :)

[@brokenjelly2739]

303rd like 👀

[@kawaiichicken1234]

590th like 👀

[@Ninja_Xdyter]

infinite coca cola machine

[@streamsniperunofficialbrea7947]

Anyone else realize you can order a cup of water from the fountain of youth from it or just me..

[@rosimo1337]

USA realizing they can have Oil for 50 cents

[@orionpadden6290]

With the current price of oil That’s just a lot of money

[@velcranoxofficials9970]

Time to liberate that coffee machine!!

[@DouglasHanson779665]

50 cents per 12 oz. That translates to ~$50 per barrel of liquid oil. It should be noted, however, that this machine doesn't create anything. Cannonicaly, it removes the requested fluid or components of said fluid from somewhere else in the world. Hence, Agent Joe requiring medical attention after asking for a cup of himself, and the compound fluid disapearing after being retrieved by the machine. So really, the USA would just be stealing oil. Now given today's political climate, that's nothing new, but still.

[@AzureFox20]

OBJECTION! SMG4 is Australian not all meme ers are American is what I’m saying

[@MrSupercar55]

And gasoline over here in England! It’s priced at fucking £1.62 per litre!

[@MRX-tm3st]

I feel I should also mention that one time someone had requested "SCP-682 Killer" and the machine produced a purplish liquid that, when poured on 682, actually did damage! The liquid is currently undergoing analysis in order to finally end 682

[@hammartyme4859]

@@dibs6462 ye why kill 682 it could actually be useful

[@dibs6462]

note: 682 is not the machine

[@adamlion3495]

682 does not love lean

[@inky_mesa]

Me tiping:something that makes dr brights not a maniac Scp-294:This liquid can not be made.

[@uhhhh-music-man]

stick the liquid in scp-914 on coarse to dismantle the liquid into ingredients?

[@ImSilentChild]

Imagine goin up to a coffee machine and getting “Liquid Gold Velveeta Cheese”

[@f-22raptorxddzs]

Ew

[@Bousiefadehouse]

🤤🤤

[@zacharyrichards4446]

@@Bousiefadehouse idk how u do that

[@zacharyrichards4446]

🐝🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯

[@tyrelllyons6963]

😳

[@dish7877]

294: *Can’t make liquid diamond Also 294: *Makes a cup of love

[@Gamer_G33k]

Which is weird, because, why cant it just dispense liquid carbon?

[@phillewis2630]

@@Gamer_G33k Liquid carbon wouldn't exist in Earth's air pressure, or at least not for very long. That might be this SCP's limit, though it seems fine with producing liquids of high temperatures.

[@cavareenvius7886]

It's because a diamond is per definition the solid from of carbon with a crystal structure. Why things like feelings or memory can have a liquid form? My theory is that those are things we never gave the concept of a physical state before.

[@Gamer_G33k]

@@phillewis2630 It dispensed meta physical concepts in liquid state. It can probably dispense liquid carbon.

[@phillewis2630]

@@Gamer_G33k I mean to say that, because of carbon's specific chemical properties, it wouldn't exist as a liquid long enough to even be poured into the cup. It would immediately solidify into something like graphite and probably clog up the dispenser. Hence why such a machine would probably avoid substances that could potentially hinder its operation. Otherwise, if it is capable of producing things that violate the laws of physics in our universe, you could potentially end up with a situation like in the novel "The Gods Themselves" by Isaac Asimov. The machine would begin altering universal forces, like the strong and weak nuclear forces, in order to produce the requested liquids. Basically rewriting the laws of physics for our entire universe (or at the very least a localized area around the cup) in order to complete the request. Luckily it doesn't appear to have that kind of capability. Otherwise they have a potentially universe-ending machine sitting in the breakroom and don't realize it.

[@vayzier9804]

No one: Scp staff: there's something in that drink that just makes ME wanna BUST A MOVE

[@woahwoahwoah7530]

UNDERRATED COMMENT

[@vanxkren5636]

I wonder if he can make cxxm

[@spingleboygle]

Lmao

[@reaitayma]

lucio moment

[@spingleboygle]

Lmao 😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂

[@allisproduction2716]

"a cup of joe" This guy knows what he's doing

[@I_Love_Llamas]

Joe: *Asks for a cup of Joe* 294: *Literally makes a cup of Joe* *Get Nae Nae'd*

[@iFeark]

888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888scp[pllllllllllllllllllllluuuykh6yffffffffffffffferts nhessewd34tbtweq21r54ee43\

[@neuratlas]

prankd!

[@satitvita6861]

@Elijah Bernard are8😉2

[@menggokil2004]

JOE MAMA!!!

[@Someoffsilver]

@@iFeark exxtdd655drrr46343w34fe4yr6u4u65r65u54ee5y4yu44ru5t4yew542rt11wr3t4h4ry5453ey43w

[@in4mee]

Me: "Can I please get a cup containing everyone who loves me?" Also me: "why is the cup empty" Edit: I'm okay. thanks for asking though

[@ultimatetrashboy419]

294: that’s because I love you.

[@emilycatalan7644]

Its becouse no one lovesyou :p Edit: BRUH attention seeker.

[@andromedabaskoro9013]

XD

[@trashmammal9203]

Good to see you're doing ok m8

[@HcazZach]

100th like

[@numerous_bees4224]

"I want... Dr. Pepper." The doctor named pepper:

[@razaliabrahim4293]

underrated comment

[@Eyereenah]

Pepper be like ಠ_ಠ

[@foxowar3953]

Pepper: *Oh faq*

[@user-di2xn3id6q]

“I want dr.pepper” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@witheredchica4147]

Dr.pepper: I don’t feel so good mr stark

[@jaxxxyn7217]

By far my favorite SCP. The fact that it potentially has the ability to bring extinct species back amazes me, like, let’s just bring back the dinosaurs!

[@mr.depthleviathan5425]

Agent: Hey, can i get something? SCP 294: Sure, what do you need? Agent: I need a hug. SCP 294: *becomes animate and hugs agent*

[@ms.chicolato5949]

Noice

[@morganmillington2388]

New agent/me: *asks permission to use the machine* (not real. Just acting)

[@unrue1048]

*makes you a cup of scp 999

[@real_goldfoxplayz9637]

Hol'up

[@Inkexplinkmachine1042]

Can i have a cup of Cartoon cat

[@jaemses]

Imagine putting “Corona Vaccine” in the machine

[@wideblue1038]

That will be OOF moment ngl

[@X0_Xpert]

oh so truuuuuuue idw corona next to my bedroom

[@AnaFlores-xx5lk]

Scp will invent covid-19 vaccine

[@magea2926]

SCP-049 have breach containment to write pestilence cure on it

[@Tabby_CatMeow]

HE IS TOO DANGEROUS TI BE KEPT ALIVE!!!!!

[@akisa7865]

SCP-049: *Enters the cure for the plague* SCP-294: *Dispenses nothing* Every personel around SCP-049: *Confused screaming*

[@juicyd9233]

LMFAOOO this needs to be a comic

[@ambreenazam7498]

That's because.....There is no cure....

[@derpcade]

The only cure is the doctors. He's said it multiple times.

[@sirtacothefirst5722]

😂 nice

[@orpheus9098]

@@derpcade *dispenses liquid doctor*

[@199NickYT]

The ability to recall every aspect about my entire life would be unequivocally incredible. I would drink such a drink in a heartbeat.

[@ParanoidParamour]

The machine after giving Joseph a “cup of Joe”: Why are you booing me? I’m right.

[@noahi.1381]

He is right though.

[@nichsa8984]

@@noahi.1381 upgrage this machine with a prompt command type act

[@cheesecakelasagna]

It's literally just doing its job. Poor SCP.

[@ruthpendergrast8857]

R/technicallythetruth

[@M-B17]

Dude, the amount of great drinks you could make with this is crazy. You could request for a cup of love and either receive the best feeling in the form of liquid or a sticky substance that you were not expecting.

[@sigmatenge1337]

Sticky substance.. 😳

[@Darthwgamer]

Oh boy

[@matyaskassay4346]

in the scp video game you can actually type feces in the machine and it makes it. The character won't drink it tho.

[@AvidEscaper]

"sticky substance that you were not expecting" *W O K E*

[@Darthwgamer]

@@matyaskassay4346 Hmm I wonder why

[@NGMonocrom]

SCP-294 Potentially dangerous, based on what a person requests. The guards are there not to protect people from it. But to protect people from themselves.

[@AxisChurchDevotee]

Last thing they need is someone ordering a cup of nuke or anti matter.

''a cup of black hole'' XK class end-of-the-world scenario triggered

[@cardboardking577]

@@AxisChurchDevotee me being shot by the guards after attempting to drink nuca-cola

[@MrGamenerd9999]

Such as requesting the brain matter of whoever's name you type, or in Containment Breach where you can request anti-matter

[@heyu2395]

@@AxisChurchDevotee can a nuke be a liquid?

[@twopercent5718]

One person apparently requested “the perfect drink”, and went into shock after drinking the odourless, lavender liquid. He later commuted suicide, stating in the note that everything felt like a let down after. Neat!

[@Paratroopersteark]

i would asked for the next liquids: "a cup that give me godly powers" "a cup of imunity to all deseases" "A cup of Condensed fear" just to see what would come out

[@cowabungaitis9319]

Someone asked for "god" the result was a shining liquid that made an explosion which wiped out everything in a 20 meter radius i believe, so yeah, probably not a good idea.

[@laurenansell4948]

@@cowabungaitis9319 can I ask for A Pecific Flavour of Coke or-

[@zacharypeterson4178]

Red bull that actually gives you wings

[@ziloleepic3390]

imma put dinosaur dna into there and imma make myself a scp-294-1

[@lailarose8800]

I hope they approve you to be their worker 👏👏👏

[@chip5892]

“Music tastes like alcohol.” Makes sense to me.

[@armandmoharos4890]

Concert lol

[@Carbon-cringe-human]

You get drunk then dance

[@zacharypeterson4178]

Coachella makes so much sense now

[@MNguyen-xOrbita]

"a cup of 682" scp 682: I SENSE SOMEONE STEALING MY TOILET PAPER

[@linhmeongunuong]

Better to get a deadly poison that kills SCP682

[@aeaea_kirke]

@@linhmeongunuong but then SCP 053 would lose her best friend and guardian :(

[@redgodmusicmore3846]

@《The Crazy Family Check》 the little girl.

[@redgodmusicmore3846]

@《The Crazy Family Check》 or young girl pretty much

[@wuyterio]

@@aeaea_kirke i love how that experiment turned out. and i love how 682 isnt just a killing machine like some other SCP's.

[@winsows11]

This SCP is the entire embodiment of the character “WHO WANTS CAWFEE”

[@rangefromtblt4047]

GIVE ME CAWFEE, PLEASE.

[@amirferdhany3177]

What if they asked for liquid Scp 500

[@brug1313]

One guy asked for “ The Perfect Drink” and killed himself later because everything just became a big letdown

[@nebunulajokur]

yeah idk why he didn't mention that in the video

[@KekePalmer.]

The drink or everything else except the drink

[@wr41th54]

i saw a person ask for a cup of God and he also killed himself

[@crimson774wprincess2]

facepalm* oh my pinking god.

[@brug1313]

Jean Léveillé lol good point idk maybe he was only allowed to have 1 turn at the coffee machine

[@imadrummer6494]

The need to put in “a drink that calms you forever” and give it to shy guy

[@enderjed2523]

Thunder Wolf Could also work on the hard to destroy reptile.

[@_Killkor]

SCP-096 test: D-class: *gives the drink and leaves* SCP-096: drinks obediently as asked, but instantly spits it after 5 seconds and, now enraged, kills everyone in a nearby vicinity. [TEST FAILED, Result: violent containment breach] SCP-682 test: Researcher: *gives the drink and leaves* SCP-682: .............................. *grunts mockingly* ... you guys think, I'm that dumb? You're even more pathetic than I thought. I know, it's [DATA EXPUNGED] and, no, I'm not gonna drink it, you apes. Researchers: it's..... what? What did you named it? SCP-682: *roars angrily* Haven't you clean your [EXPLETIVE] ears, you [EXPLETIVE]. Get this cup out of my sight. [TEST FAILED, Result: SCP-682 rejected the consumption] Researcher: _Apparently, he knows what this substance is. No wonder he reacted this way._

[@alexk9642]

@@_Killkor damn that's good

[@piggyman-st8iu]

Lol I thought you were referring to the Mario Shy Guys. Guess that would help them, too.

[@ItsAstie]

I don't think shy guy can consume drinks..

[@gwvssvwg3025]

A cup of my achievements in my life 294: request unknown

[@100sergioaguilar]

294:req-+ERROR+

[@giveyourlifetochrist6034]

Hey don't sell yourself short you've probably got tons of achievements if not look to the near future

[@Collin212]

*Request has been denied, nothing found*

[@gwvssvwg3025]

@@giveyourlifetochrist6034 thanks for cheering me up but.. why do i even exist? for whom? for what? Why?!

[@workhardism]

@RYAN ZHAO sad

[@heywhiteanimates3675]

"My life" i would get a drink so i can rememeber everything when i lost everything on every game

[@luke769animations]

So when Joe said he wanted a “Cup of Joe”… he drank a clone of himself? WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO FULL OF HIMSELF? So selfish…

[@zacharypeterson4178]

If he were full of himself, how is he still hungry?

[@arosegaming4793]

The cup of joe is its own scp, and frankly its quite horrendous. I wouldn't wish that particular death on anyone.

[@nichsa8984]

@Zeta Darus promp meanwhile this coffee machine appear screen as saying "are you sure this long enough and please press n or y" n as a not and y as a yes word long enough

[@beezle.]

I want a unicorn frapachino.... Not because I like unicorns because I want to eat unicorn

[@mylesj4380]

Zeta Darus he didn’t drink it, he passed out just after the cup was made

[@dudugaming2493]

Me types: a cup of the rubber Inside the cup: "hello everybody, Im the rubber, today we bring you scp-294"

[@alterr3728]

Stolen comment

[@alexthememeboi1812]

or his insides will be present in the cup

[@goodgenes0]

*gulp*

[@havikso]

Every1:huuuuuuuuhaaaaaaa😨😨😨😱 Me:hi rubber Rubber:what's he gonna say

[@jaspersbutler2784]

XD

[@Jiedster]

"Can only produce items that can exist in a fluid state." Me, an intellectual: "Cat."

[@notfunnnydude]

Machine: Your requested liquid are beyond my reality.

[@socialistrepublicofvietnam1259]

@@notfunnnydude C A T G I R L

[@quick_light]

@@socialistrepublicofvietnam1259 oh shit Don't let him be a class d

[@mateololero4091]

You'll get bodily fluids from a cat

[@notfunnnydude]

@@mateololero4091 cat are fluid

[@n_coder]

"SCP-294 can only deliver substances that can exist in liquid state" SCP-294: *proceeds to create a cup of someone's life story*

[@akhan2467]

"a cup of Joe" that machine is a smartass lmao

[@shepgmonster9641]

the smart ass machine (sing song voice)

[@XxZalllinIsBallinxX_THEREAL]

joe mama

[@POAgaming1944]

Joseph : gimmie a cup of joe Machine : Ok smartass

[@Laurentino-r1i]

I dont understand

[@trent800]

@@Laurentino-r1i joe is coffee

[@proxximity7107]

Agent:*"Types in 'Cup of Joe'"* Scp-294:What's that? Agent: Joe Mama Scp-294:*"Takes DNA and Blood"*

[@femblewinter665]

I knew this was going to pop out

[@best.friend3308]

**Boho Salon flashbacks** Can I have a joe A joe Can I have a joe

[@anakiap.w1673]

Joe biden

[@theodorewilliams5279]

Yes

[@rift5458]

lolol

[@discomfortmanifest8370]

catch me ordering "no calorie chocolate milk" so i can finally live my dream of drinking gallons of the stuff without becoming SPC 2059

[@shadykoithefishofthepond9407]

You did SCP 2059 DIRTY DAMN I'd ask for Garefield Juice

[@herofantasyx808]

If I ever have a drink when I’m thirsty I might get some from the one called SCP-294 I’ll be totally satisfied with it. 👌😊

[@dxrkerrxses]

Video: *Its safe for human use* Random guy named Joe: **Types cup of Joe** SCP: **Gives him his own blood** Me: *Totally safe*

[@srlopez875]

Its safe and even good for mankind the problem is that being able to produce any liquid substance for example black matter or a cup of ácid if the Scp foundation where able to program the Scp to limit its "drinks" it would be awesome

[@BoringTDgameplay]

Hol up couldn't we also end the world if we type in blackhole?

[@lilpuro2152]

SrLópez that would defeat the purpose tho. Also that would limit the amount of test they can do on it, also they might ruin the machine if they try to dissemble or reprogram it, which would be to big of a risk considering the value it has.

[@Gnomelander1400]

sscookiebuiscuit Black hole doesn’t have a liquid form

[@babybrainjohnson]

Well he recoverd

[@AndyHappyGuy]

Me: Cup of stupidity Coffee Machine: Empty cup with the label "YOU" on it.

[@kingbowser4542]

A cup of my blood

[@travotski]

Someone: Starts typing “Atomic” SCP294: One big bang coming up.

[@Christopherus_Jordanus]

Personel Termination Allowed

[@jamesneo-lk8zx]

@@Christopherus_Jordanus ok i stooped that someone from pressing enter and made him drink acid insted, dont ask how im here but can i join the founation

[@notaveragecr6041]

Type "something" into 294 in Containment Breach, see what happens.

[@jordnotter8574]

Me: *puts in "a cup that can give you all the knowledge you need to make a gun"* 5 minutes later, Me: holy shit I know how to make a machine gun!

[@hicak0242]

Ratattattatatatatattatatatattata

[@duarrabiel6033]

Me:puts in "a cups that can give you power can see future" Me:"see 2030 won't exit. " Me:fuc-

[@nicknmm09]

Look up the luty sub machine gun he was a fire arms activist who opposed gun control and to show how pointless and ineffective restrictions where against dedicated people he released a guide on how to make a sub machine gun fully automatic of course using no special equipment and only basic materials which could be found at any basic hardware store. Checkout forgotten weapons video on it for more .

[@LuizCarlos-du1pd]

Imagine "a cup that can kill scp 682

[@captainbirch2.079]

Imagine typing in "Poison that can permanently kill scp 682"

[@DouglasHanson779665]

It would probably just end up like any other insta-perma-kill attack's result against 682. Sure, it dies, but it gets better almost instantly.

[@Fridaey13txhOktober]

"Vaccine 4 the gay!"

[@Projectionater]

@@Fridaey13txhOktober Is that meant to be offensive towards gays?

[@TheLandOfDreams]

THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING

[@strawberrymilk6666]

@@Fridaey13txhOktober is that supposed to be offensive or?

[@indedulous4579]

USA when they realize it can produce oil: I’LL tAkE yOuR eNtIrE sToCk

[@allypoitras627]

YeS but it takes liquids from other places so wouldn't that just be putting the gas that's already in a tank into a cup

[@metal9076]

@@allypoitras627 but how do you explain the "my life drink"

[@LeuBlue]

@@metal9076 it came from another dimension

[@LegoEngineer003]

Ally Poitras if it’s not from your tank, it’s not your problem

[@pyrosimba2014]

@@allypoitras627 I imagine that if you place the machine above an oil reservoir and ask for crude oil, it'll remove the oil from the Earth. It removes the need for expensive drill and processing. You can then just skip straight to oil refinement.

[@RealDiaFr]

"Cannot create anything that cannot exist as a liquid, such as diamonds." *Creates someones life story* Not a plot hole at all.

[@lightningfletch5598]

Krzysztof Karpiński Does this mean that someone’s memories are capable of existing in a liquid state?

[@rudzik1692]

@Krzysztof Karpiński Me: *Fast Typing: "How to escape as Class-D personnel"* SCP-294: *displays: "SORRY"*

[@lightningfletch5598]

@Krzysztof Karpiński I see.

[@Mostlyharmless1985]

brains is just chemicals and memories are just chemically activated switches. So it's possible there exists a drug that could give you perfect recall of every event of your life. Hell, there are people alive with perfect memory that could tell you what happened on a specific date.

[@Mostlyharmless1985]

Diatsu S counterpoint: magic box that makes almost any liquid substance known to man and can read your mind to do so.

[@343guardian5]

For anyone curious a Vienna Lager is essentially most "Amber" style beers (Samual Adams is considered a Vienna style lager) the primary ingredient used is Malt for this process (Vienna malt)

[@bobthebobman7457]

Types: “Cure for anything” *gets cyanide*

[@antfucker98-c8u]

*A surprise to be sure, but a welcomed one*

[@zarahalora7567]

that profil pic tho

[@antfucker98-c8u]

@@zarahalora7567 he do be big brain tho

[@omoriperocondrip9130]

*gets a liquid version of SCP-500*

[@ryaquaza3offical]

I used to know someone who drank cyanide and I can tell you, he never complained about his back pain again

[@GeorgePiggy]

How to RICK ROLL the Staff 1)ask for a cup of Rick roll 2)give it to the staff And DONE

[@bobtheanimator8353]

Why do I hear rickroll

[@Bakkcom]

He's too dangerous to be left alive!

[@GeorgePiggy]

;/

[@moved4169]

more like how to give the staff food poisoning

[@MrShrek7]

Comes out with liquified rick astely

[@DiceMan20]

Sad you didnt use the incident when a guard requested "the best drink ever" and committed suicide 4 days after drinking it "I'm sorry, everything is just one big let-down"

[@bruh_moment5100]

no no, he said the perfect drink

[@ronelel2109]

"The best drink I've ever had" and "The perfect drink" have different outcomes. Hmmmm *HMMMMMMMMMM*

[@YTSeiyaGoFire]

"As well as instances that do not usually exist in liquid state, like Nitrogen" Me: *Laughs in Liquid nitrogen, one of the most cold liquids*

[@kalanialdas505]

“After 50 uses it will no longer fulfill any requests for 90 minutes” Everyone’s gotta take a break!

[@zaithehedgewolf4587]

Even machines

[@BrokeArmadillo]

Scp 294: what type of beverage would you like? Me: A cup of Memes.

[@docrofreborn7497]

It is possible

[@nonoamebua4392]

Every single meme in existence floods your brain

[@janemaria8912]

You're suddenly know every meme that could make someone laugh in existence

[@cr0ssley]

Oh no...

[@docrofreborn7497]

EVERYONE, BEGIN A MEME CHAIN FOR THIS MAN: No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

[@dragonmasteraltais]

Everyone talking about Joe... I'm honestly more intrigued at this whole abstract sentences and making people feel the experience... o.o

[@muchotexto4248]

It creates drinks capable of producing you these sensations

[@vectoraz1435]

A C U P O F S E X

[@dragonmasteraltais]

@@vectoraz1435 Indeed.

[@ludoviclacassagneii4737]

A cup of madness

[@vectoraz1435]

@@ludoviclacassagneii4737 A C U P O F S E X

[@shami9773]

That thing could really help with scientific discoveries including getting cups of theoretical liquids and see if they are possible

[@Un_prønøunceable]

I honestly feel fond of 294. It seems to really just want to help.

[@尹恩惠-f1y]

H

[@orientalparadigm2934]

" A cup of intelligence, please" *UNABLE*

[@lucaspeng5063]

*OUT OF RANGE*

[@chrishansen1842]

@@lucaspeng5063 ouch

[@JukoYT]

Empty cup

[@AhnafHafendy]

*INSTANT SHUT DOWN*

[@ShyGames0]

That actually works in the Containment Breach game. Your character basically says exactly what he needs to do to escape when he drinks it.

[@ancestorji4123]

I truly wonder why no one had requested mystical liquid such as "mana" or other RPG stuff Would be interesting to see

[@subdeviant3755]

Dude that would be so cool,maybe even revolutionary!!!

[@Orsonfoe]

that or various forms of knowledge. with the death total around scp foundations finding qualified staff must be hella hard.

[@unknownedleaf]

few fun scps: The Big Orange Forklift: Anomalous Effect: you really want to ride the forklift Never-Ending Pizza Box: Anomalous Effect: it’s in the name, duh Coffee Machine: Anomalous Effect: you can get any drink you want, even a cup of joe (not recommended)

[@IzeecClarke]

The Rubber Uploads: Me: Fastest Hand in the [REDACTED]

[@gamingcousins5362]

Haha

[@invisible9445]

Dipper Pines yoo how tf did you get to [DATA EXPUNGED]

[@averagedoseofTSB]

Izeec Clarke STAR PLATINUM

[@IzeecClarke]

@@averagedoseofTSB Ora ora ora

[@Props2Popz]

Just like me

[@krealyesitisbeta5642]

Joseph: “Can I have a cup of Joe.” Coffee machine: “A cup of you? Ok!”

[@cyrilings]

The name. Joseph?

[@Lauren.E.O]

“IT’S JOSEPH!” Did he even go by Joe? Seems a little unfair.

[@krealyesitisbeta5642]

Lauren O Joe is short for Joseph. Like how Tom is short for Thomas and Ben being short for Benjamin.

[@boonmaet4348]

cup of mama?

[@loganheitzman9290]

gcdyrfbhcbdfhucbeufbcgecuyyugecgbghfvcyufy

[@Gam3Junkie7]

Ah, my favorite. I just have to wonder, if you type in "Potion of Immortality" would it work? Or end up turning the drinker into an SCP because of all of the various unkillable SCPs that exist?

[@2chill2bbored72]

It has to exist. So something as absurd as bromine or pterodactyl blood can be made but something like a potion of immortality wouldnt work

[@curvingfyre6810]

@@2chill2bbored72 it can make a cup of music dude, it can make a cup of immortality.

[@somebodyidkicantthinkofano6653]

Most likely he would become an scp of his own

[@kidsdobite.7882]

if the substance exists than I believe that SCP-294 can do this, but I believe that SCP-294 can teleport the substance from a different place into the machine, this concludes that SCP-294 can only produce drinks that exist or have been made before so it depends

[@hexrin5191]

@@2chill2bbored72 Immortality exists in the SCP verse and so does magic, a potion of immortality sounds extremely plausible in such a place

[@abhinavvittalam6293]

Imagine passed the insanely rigorous tests to become a security gaurd at the SCP foundation having to put your life on the line for your entire life, being exposed to horrors beyond anything you could imagine... and having to guard a vending maching

[@Checkersmith]

Any liquid? How about liquid gold? That could be how the Foundation is funding it's self.

[@fridaynuggies4191]

Good idea, but the Price will drop harder than French Banner in Sedan

[@lecookiefartlol4669]

Fathan Alfajri omg that is the best comeback ever

[@bika1111]

@@fridaynuggies4191 if it's not public... the price would never go down ☠️

[@smbeees]

They could be making steel,glass or copper to fund themselves

[@laurentiupostolache5770]

Me: *Writes "Suprise me"* SCP 294: *Releases a photo of the Shy Guy Face* Me: WHY I TOOK THIS JOB?! SERIOUSLY WHY?!?!

[@thedeepseaking3659]

You: *Try to record your story for last moments as shy guy hunts you down* So I was in the breakroom getting a drin- O5: There's no breakroom on site!

[@maxmeepmeep991]

hol' up

[@THEBOYOB]

*Scp 096 wants to know your location*

[@expl2173]

nah but fr if scps were real i'd just think of every scp i saw or thought about and think of shy guy, i cant think of anything good when i say "think of something good"

[@trulyahmedabdullah5084]

F

[@goldengearstudios771]

If only finding the cure to corona was this easy.

[@motiongames6072]

Ask for cure of Corana

[@Gooddaniel]

another option: use SCP-500

[@samuraigoose423]

Oh it is

[@UnspokenRizzler]

Use it for Minecraft milk

[@Kuinten_Sim]

5:58 okay I pull up hop out at the after party

[@D4CDaveed]

It should be keter you could literally order anti-matter.

[@sadaderlangga17]

But it could easily contained

[@Ripebulldog]

Keter is something that is hard to contain a machine that makes liquid and is not that dangerous.

[@UnknownUserFortniteCreative]

Doesn't matter how dangerous it is, it's inanimate, but there not sure if it can "escape" or not, keter could be given to anything that escapes all the time but it could be harmless.

[@kristve6798]

the object classes measure how hard it is to contain not how dangerous it is

[@sirrdavey]

Classes are not danger level just how hard it is to contain

[@miguelle4756]

*Input: “A cup of Half Life 3.”* **pours** *_there is nothing to drink_*

[@leenie4705]

Half-Life Alyx?

[@TheRadElectric]

Input: a cup of portal 3 **pours** Output: portal stories mel (the closest thing you could really get to portal 3

[@eliasrahimi9363]

A cup of tf3 pls *nope*

[@ImaPizzaK]

There is something to drink

[@n0va491]

OHHH S H * T

[@nicholasbrooks7349]

Well to be fair he asked for “A cup of joe” not coffee.

[@littlebaldedone]

That was pretty dumb tbh.

[@netyzen163]

A cup of Cure of Corona

[@angelerror4086]

@@littlebaldedone an agent asked him so he's not the one making the decision

[@coreycaesarvt]

Cup of Joe is slang for Coffee

[@xenoxerox]

BRUH HE LITTERALY ASKED FOR A CUP OF HUMAN

[@Ghost_friend_likes_burritos]

294: I cant make drinks out of things that cant be liquid. Also 294: makes a cup of music

[@maygel]

Me, seeing that I am early to a video: **sips a cup of joe** ah, yes.

[@sakuratreeguy487]

Same, but I had hot chocolate.

[@randomcookiegiver1657]

@@sakuratreeguy487 they won't let me have hot chocolate

[@timeset3723]

I feel ya and I also have hot cocoa

[@phantomeggs4315]

Ah yes.

[@jullitaczajkowska4200]

I had the blood of the king void...tastes like dead pigeons..

[@DreammasterFTW]

The fact that he pops these out once a week is amazing. It is such an entertaining show to watch, and to see SCPs and other stories brought to life in a somewhat cute fashion, but sometimes still scary fashion. I hope that my story got picked up and will be shown at some point! And if not, I look forward to seeing so many more. I hope you get millions of subscribers

[@TwiinArmagedons]

I bet Agent Joseph got alot of coworkers hating him after he put in "A cup of joe" and got the vending machine closed off

[@jeremiahtan4933]

Me: Spine Fluid of Megaladon Machine: Here you Go Also me: Yeah I ain’t gonna swim no more

[@lydierayn]

I want a cup of Leviathan class creature eye fluid Machine: yup. Me: Well... I never wanted to live on a skyscraper more than this

[@magebagek9919]

@@lydierayn Oh? you're going to live on a skyscraper? * Requests a cup of jet fuel * Yeah I wouldn't

[@dapperdedmos9238]

"the red sea object. PART ONE" therubber: *ill do it tommorow*

[@adoodlingmonkey6247]

Intenze_playz nice picture : ^ )

[@dapperdedmos9238]

@@adoodlingmonkey6247 thx u

[@TansyCat]

Papyrus The skeleton have you seen sans?

[@adoodlingmonkey6247]

☯︎ Misha ☯︎ he drank too much ketchup

[@adoodlingmonkey6247]

☯︎ Misha ☯︎ i think he is at grillbys because he says my spaghetti is too cold :((((

[@mamadayooo]

if i type "a cup of jojo", will 294 give me jojo siwa mush or the dna of Jonathan Joestar

[@manssman1]

What the fuck but also, this is the best comment I've ever seen

[@smokesandnuggets8460]

this is the most wholesome commet ever

[@mamadayooo]

i need to make Jonathan real i want buff man cuddles

[@gorychoco2873]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[@fleurgymcheurgy9267]

whichever it is you mean

[@343guardian5]

Alright, so we know a couple things here. 1. The vending machine has the ability to gather what is in your mind to fulfill a request. 2. "Joe" can also be short for Joseph. Is it possible that the reason the machine took fluids from Agent Joseph is because when a cup of "Joe" was requested the person ordering he briefly thought of Agent Joseph. So the machine pulled this information from the individuals brain and assumed they meant the person, and not the coffee?

[@robowisanveithasung6022]

since Agent Joseph typed it in himself, he could have been thinking about himself, leading to that result

[@343guardian5]

@@robowisanveithasung6022 Thats exactly what I was thinking too lol

[@CerbTheDog]

“What would you like” A cup of memes

[@muchotexto4248]

Probably white, and drinking it will make you feel the puns and nonsense in a way you never did. However you find that humor will define what it made you feel.

[@yung_tron]

It'd either be modern memes, or rage comic astetic.

[@MasterMarx]

The guy named Memes: 😳

[@AltF-io3dy]

@@MasterMarx who would name there child memes (also I know it’s a joke but names are stupid man people do that)

[@gamagicscience622]

Actually in CB a cup of memes actually exists I forgot what it said but it’s funny

[@eazyplayz3510]

When I found out there is an actually PEACEFUL AND HELPFUL SCP I got so happy

[@pettson1910]

@X4TERUMI Thank you Mr. Genius for pointing that out

[@ranokisanidiotsandwich3542]

@X4TERUMI no shit Sherlock

[@uwu7999]

@X4TERUMI *facepalm*

[@ultrahard13]

How about 999

[@eatdatcupcake4456]

@X4TERUMI your jokes or loopholes are getting dumber and dumber each time

[@xxxdragoncatxxx8001]

I HATE EVERYONE WHO HATES ON THE RUBBER!! HE IS AWESOME!!

[@HC-gn2gb]

People hate on him?

[@luiferrodriguez8500]

Loved the animations, and perfectly fits with the background music

[@azmoazlan6771]

Me too

[@corbincarroll1343]

We should find out away to brainwash people if they don't like the rubber into liking the rubber

[@azmoazlan6771]

@@corbincarroll1343 umm... THATS elligal

[@Taha_A]

4:13 This scp can make you feel “the experience”

[@Sp3ctralI]

*types* “a cup of s-“

[@Taha_A]

@@Sp3ctralI i would type “a cup of fleshlight” to be more specific

[@anoelhill]

I love how I got a coffee ad before watching this..

[@thepeanut5747]

SCP-6000 is a standard mobile phone with the anomolous effect of making the adverts relevant to the video

[@mattwades2627]

@@thepeanut5747 the only remain owner of SCP-6000 remains unknown just met as Lunakitten 10 with an anime loli as a profile picture

[@goofybackroomsentity]

**FNAF 2 HALLWAY AMBIENCE**

[@goofybackroomsentity]

@Kawaii *Yeah-*

[@goofybackroomsentity]

@Kawaii You need something?.