SCP-294 - The Coffee Machine

[@Ishtarru]

One guy typed in "the perfect drink." He was later found dead with a suicide note explaining how the drink was so perfect that everything else became a huge letdown.

[@Annihilation_Studios]

Damn

[@Glub_glurb]

Damn

[@Xiiki]

Damn

[@MaxDicker]

Damn

[@akramgimmini8165]

Damn

[@THATGuy5654]

See, this seems like the kind of thing the foundation would neglect to test: It might be sentient. Has anyone tried typing in "thank you" after getting their drink? Just seems polite, even if nothing happens.

[@harbringerboredom2353]

*cup of thankfulness coming right up*

[@phoenixair11]

where is the ethics committee

[@mariothane8754]

@@phoenixair11 That’s a great joke. Ethics committee. Ha!

[@rantingsfromateenagerspers499]

@@phoenixair11 the ethics committee should have its own ethics committee 💀 did y’all just forget about the puppy killing machine that has like 50+ tests on it

[@evagineer9165]

@@rantingsfromateenagerspers499 and the time Jeffery Epstien was revived from the Grave.

[@cebraulkenne8571]

I feel like the special addendum to it being Euclid is like "If you're a moron this is Euclid."

[@cameronballz6154]

If you have a brain it's Safe

[@daryncollins7640]

you never know when somoene makes a spelling error

[@nuttynutsnutstache]

@@daryncollins7640 That'll probably be an out of range result

[@lemystwq]

"If you have average intelligence, its Safe. If you are dumb, its Euclid. If you are an absolute idiot, its Keter."

[@lilycreeper5246]

@@daryncollins7640 yeah, but that would up the danger, not the difficult of containment

[@frankydman]

They forgot a particularly notable test: Someone requested “the perfect drink” and got an odorless lavender liquid. Upon ingesting the individual went into shock, then later committed suicide. A note read “I’m sorry, but at this point everything is just one big letdown”

[@lancetheking7524]

And a 682 killer

[@DeathnoteBB]

Idk I feel like a perfect drink wouldn’t make one unalive themselves. It’s just a story but if it was real I’d imagine it would be JUST good enough to not be fatally good

[@frankydman]

@@DeathnoteBB Perhaps; but that was a direct quote from the wiki, so whoever wrote it was probably going for "dark humor" if I had to guess

[@yonderpout5426]

Lean maie

[@evandurham8908]

When you've found the ultimate pleasure, what's left?

[@anonymousnoone7035]

SCP Scientist: Time to study this machine. It'll take countless tests, dedication, imagination, keen minds, and a lot of time, but one day we will understand this machine completely! Me: *Types in: Liquid knowledge of how SCP-294 works* SCP Scientist: Or you could do that...

[@jeronimomartinezcalsina7690]

Then what if someone typed "knowledge of how to kill scp 682"

[@anonymousnoone7035]

@@jeronimomartinezcalsina7690 Might work.

[@yoshikagekira1863]

What if someone typed in "health" and could heal anything

[@anonymousnoone7035]

@@yoshikagekira1863 Like SCP-500, but better? I mean, hey. Could work if someone makes it canon!

[@dathmir4900]

That has to be the best idea ever known to man, although it would probably be out of range.

[@pivotman64]

Given that SCP-294 is apparently intelligent; what would happen if you requested "An hour long interview with SCP-294?" It seems to have no trouble producing other abstract concepts in liquid form.

[@ComputerGoblin02]

I was about to ask "wait which one is SCP 294 again?" then I was like "wait... Oh shit I'm stupid"

[@vbyte.]

you couldnt put that in liquid form like when it says u cant do diamonds so it would just be error

[@vbyte.]

and also it steals things from the nearest source and that doesnt exist and its out of range

[@kratos_benjamin]

@@vbyte. so you can get music as an liquid? Thats weird

[@vbyte.]

@@kratos_benjamin it was alcohol

[@Nameless-ln5mr]

I wonder what would happen if I asked for, “a Double Triple Bossy Deluxe on a raft, four by four, animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim”? Would it come out as a liquid? Or, would the machine display the message “We serve drinks here sir,”?

[@thelivingglitch1371]

I hope the latter option.

[@TheRealNekora]

another fun reaponce could be a simple "???"

[@xanethefishyboi412]

Nice, SpongeBob reference

[@devintheundertalefan5611]

Most likely the latter, due to it's sense of humor

[@Thewhovianwhoisageek]

Probably *[REDACTED]*

[@therealnradog186]

Dr. Bright: "Hey can you get me a cup of explodium from SCP-294?" Staff member: "Sure." *Staff member blows up later* No wonder there's a rule against Bright like that.....

[@Henry-mk9dn]

Don’t forget about using it to create orgasms of any kind, memetic, sentient or otherwise.

[@dr.bright6272]

It wasn't my fault. He's the one who ordered it.

[@GetRidOfHandles]

That’s not even a real thing

[@magiciansmagicmayhem5813]

@@dr.bright6272 why don’t you order a cup of Bright-B-Gone?

[@BaboonIdiotVR]

Cup of joe mama 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@lordgong4980]

A vending Machine that spits out any liquid, an infinite Pizza box, and a infinite source of honey. The SCP Foundation almost has enough to open a restaurant

[@katanah3195]

They have an infinite honey source? Well if they ever contain an anomalous yellow bear found in a hundred acres of woods, they’ll be easily able to feed him.

[@hinotoritheobliterator6556]

And I think they have an infinite pasta pot and bag of potatoes, too

[@canadiangamer4762]

@@hinotoritheobliterator6556 there is also the tree that makes infinite spaghetti

[@blackeyefly]

They technically have infinite cakes, but providing some to patrons would definitely end up causing an XK class scenario.

[@handsomesponge9952]

Ikr

[@afinegamingexperience5739]

Considering the "hot cup of Joe" angle, I'm surprised the machine hasn't been tested for remote assassinations.

[@yc7850]

My last name is Chai, I dread to think what would happen if I worked at the foundation and ordered a cup of chai.

[@lancetheking7524]

@@yc7850 oh no

[@paigecrouch3106]

Just be specific that you want tea and not your own insides

[@everykelmemeiscanon3437]

It's the orange joe- Bruh ofc anyone who drinks that is dead💀

[@libotogames96]

@@everykelmemeiscanon3437 another Omori fan here, i see

[@ThrillSeeker3524]

I still find it funny that this anomaly gives the best hope of terminating SCP-682 over any other

[@darkmqtter]

Even the knife that makes anything it stabs fade from reality

[@thelivingglitch1371]

Yeah. The basic theory of the serum is fine; the only challenge would be getting enough of it to finally do Gecko Boi in.

[@lykoswolf2976]

Let's go with the proof SCP-682 can actually die with "Ô Death"

[@Dragonspirit223]

@@thelivingglitch1371 I mean, they've been stockpiling it for a while

[@lockjaw7437]

@@thelivingglitch1371 the real question is how much would it cost to destroy the hard to kill reptile

[@geardog24]

14:03 "A Cup of Music" is one hell of a drug.

[@itsallgood4743]

This is one of my favorite scps! It’s not some over the top hateful kill everything monster. It’s just an odd little anomalous machine that just wants to give people something to “drink”

[@AmericaTheSimpleMinded]

I love this one, the Sentient Ice Cream Machine, and The Multi-Dimensional Vending Machine.

[@TheAustralianMapper5378]

I also love the infinite pizza box that give you the pizza you crave. I think 343 had a pizza with every type of topping on it.

[@DeathnoteBB]

Yeah the machines that just do cool stuff are my favorite SCPs. Not inherently horror, just free drinks

[@jwwhitmarsh8411]

The energy of the first few years of SCPs was so awesome. It's just anomalous stuff. Sometimes it's a creature--could be the explanation of a cryptid, could be 682--sometimes it's a place, sometimes it's objects like a coffee machine and really really effective super glue. And each one didn't have pages and pages of narration attached to it. They were just documents on anomalies in their inventory--not apocalypse stories or the adventures of a fancy special supernatural military. Miss that energy. It was what got it started and made it so successful. We passed 173 around horror threads on /x/ FOREVER and ended up writing most of the early SCPs in threads before the wiki was made. The organization was vague and mysterious and the world felt so huge and unknown with the implications of the existence of things that just didn't behave in accordance with the laws of nature.

[@distantchosen]

​@@jwwhitmarsh8411have this scp produce a liquid that gives you superpowers.

[@dragmire3D]

It's kinda funny, if it teleports the liquids from the closest source, the coffee requests are probably taken from another coffee machine in that building. Possibly even the same room.

[@thomasguay4157]

"where the fuck did my espresso go?"

[@R8ISH]

imagine buying a coffee and you go to drink it and it’s just fucking gone 😭😭😭😭

[@calvincoats1933]

​Thomasguay the coffee machine from that building stole it

[@hanschi3666]

So after each cup they have to wait until that cup is empty, otherwise you would just steal your colleagues coffee

[@hexshadowman]

This feels like an anomaly that would occasionally play a prank on a receptive staff member. INPUT: "A cup of coffee" OUTPUT: 12 ounces of roasted, but otherwise unremarkable coffee beans INPUT: "Milk" OUTPUT: Rhinoceros milk INPUT: "Sparkling water" OUTPUT: Sparkling salt water

[@MrERJ1992]

Okay ngl, this comment of yours here actually got me thinking: Has there ever been any tests that involves gaining liquids from SCP 294, and then bring those liquids in to SCP 914?

[@azurrayne4140]

294 can only produce a liquid though, so for coffee, it would be a cup of Cafe Robusta instead of Arabica, which is said to taste like burnt rubber.

[@this_gay_idiot8697]

Dr. King aka apple seed guy same thing it just gave him apple seeds

[@randomness258]

@@MrERJ1992 well that only has 3 outcomes something really good comes out, nothing happens or everyone dies

[@idiosyncraticlawyer3400]

@@MrERJ1992 Dr. Bright may not put "A cup of orgasm" from SCP-294 through SCP-914 on the Very Fine setting.

[@keanethshee6986]

A Researcher also requested for the “Blood of Christ". SCP-294 vibrated and produced the message "Hic est enim Calix Sánguinis mei", ( this is the cup of my blood) then SCP 294 produced a paper drinking cup made of red grape wine.

[@guizintheinsect5022]

Hah,Christian reference,looks like this machine knows the bible,that's cool in it's part

[@bobwalsh3751]

@@guizintheinsect5022 did you just assume the machine's gender lol?

[@guizintheinsect5022]

@@bobwalsh3751 oh,spelling mistake,gonna fix it

[@guizintheinsect5022]

@@bobwalsh3751 ah,and i'm an waifu mecha appreciator

[@RatchetTheCat]

@@bobwalsh3751 Are you afraid to misgender a coffee machine?

[@bboy-vw1ih]

It seems that SCP-294's anomalous power is teleporting any feasible liquid to itself and then dispensing it into an indestructible cup.

[@Igor_servant_of_Philemon]

Doesn't explain the music or the memories though

[@fanimation617]

@@Igor_servant_of_Philemon he dispense the knowledge of someone else or replicate the knowledge of someone and then dispense it, in the same way that he can dispense something subjective like favorite drinks using the persons knowledge and memories

[@Igor_servant_of_Philemon]

@@fanimation617 so knowledge is a liquid?

[@MrOrzech1]

@@fanimation617 doesn't explain the test at 15:25. No one could know his entire life

[@fanimation617]

@@MrOrzech1 a person can remember an event that happen with the right stimuli, the memories are not lost but still storages, maybe the machine just gave a drink that makes you remember all your live.

[@shayoko6]

instant healing potion i love the inclusion of cassie to this story!

[@creative_name12]

Imagine buying a cup of coffee and then the liquid inside just disappears 💀💀

[@RYUZAKILL117]

This SCP could finally helps us understand the Plague Doctor. Just type “a cup of Pestilence” and then analyze it so we can finally know what we’re dealing with.

[@Thewhovianwhoisageek]

Error

[@KylenKiomaka]

Either that, or you kick off the SCP-500 0 story.

[@Thewhovianwhoisageek]

@@KylenKiomaka ?

[@KylenKiomaka]

SCP-5000 is the suit that makes you nearly undetectable, and it came from an alternate reality where the Foundation decided to exterminate humanity. It wasn't clear why they decided that, but it would be funny if it was because of the coffee machine.

[@sonichegehodge5778]

it might give you an actual cup of pestilence (like the black death) instead of whatever imaginary concept the plague doctor uses to justify himself

[@Moquxa]

this was the first ever scp i saw that got me into the whole thing lol always been one of my top 10 scps

[@michaelsmitha.k.a.mr.drago3656]

my first was scp-001 Daybreak, I know there are multiple different scp-001's but this ones my fav

[@Moquxa]

@@michaelsmitha.k.a.mr.drago3656 Yes! I like the “what ifs” on this anomaly like the SCP3008 “IKEA” one and the SCP049 “plague doctor”

[@jaylegoninjago5615]

Mine was scp 101

[@crispitysmuggity]

Same

[@harbringerboredom2353]

For me it was a gas mask but coffee machine is still best thing

[@bloodyneptune]

Ok but the agent named Joe that asked for "a hot cup of Joe" had that coming. That was just asking for it

[@cobrahunter295]

Agreed lol I feel like he definitely knew that would happen

[@Top2BottomGaming]

His name was actually Joseph. Joe was his nickname. But it can look in your mind, so it did, saw him many times being called Joe, and as such, gave him a cup of himself

[@Nombrenooriginal]

Cup of Joemama

[@datcap6289]

@@Nombrenooriginal *machine spews out fat*

[@TheRandomBoredGuy]

it took a cup of him

[@minecraftperson8412]

I betcha there's already a rule that states - "Doctor Jack Bright is not allowed within 50 meters of SCP-294"

[@bonecodoposto4618]

11:43 imagine being an alien in another dimension minding your own business about to drink your anti-water after a long and stressful day then suddenly a portal appears out of nowhere and steals your precious anti-water

[@MechaWolf0]

Dr. Ariel: "It doesn't work that way. It has to be in our dimension and it must exist in the present time."

[@supercatgamingcatgamer418]

​@@MechaWolf0it's a joke

[@williamm973]

"At first, it seemed like some boring, magic vending machine." Sigh, not another one.

[@unrellated]

There's something important to note about the tests that produced the wolf blood, horse saliva, koala urine, and extinct rodent spinal fluid. The researchers actually wrote down those requests in fancy, formal, highly scientific terms, then gave them to an especially stupid D-Class and told him to type exactly what the paper said into the machine. The fact that one entering the requests had no idea what any of it meant had no effect on the machine's ability to retrieve the substances.

[@syedaparveen7856]

Josh: **types a cup of Josh** SCP: *ERROR: TOO MANY JOSHS IN-RANGE* Josh: *God saved me from going to the Foundation Infirmary*

[@hazakurasuyama9016]

Not after the Josh fight

[@jayschaffer7520]

It’s funny listening to these videos because every video has actually made me a better in college. There is an amazing introduction, an incredible body paragraph/s and an interesting and effective conclusion paragraph. If every student could write like this everyone would be be an A+ student

[@torcery9129]

the only scp where they’re not like “Idk throw d-class at it until something happens”

[@shayadavids992]

This is now officially one of my favorite scp's.

[@HelloIAmAnExist]

This is probably one of the if not the most useful item in all foundation contaiment. It can literally cure cancer (although temporarily, I imagine it can work forever if you ask it for a persons cancer on a regular basis)

[@TheUnHappySponge]

@The Catto of Dankness it could just decide to cure the cancer by giving something that would just kill the person who has it. It'll get rid of the cancer, but it'll also get rid of everything else. Probably best to test on a few D class first.

[@yoshikagekira1863]

What if someone asked for immortality in a cup

[@icewater6841]

Just ask for “cup of all of (name of someone with cancer)’s cancerous cells”

[@siren_gaming8565]

Can we all appreciate how good this guy does his closed captions

[@Parakeetlover3]

Agreed!

[@bebev281]

I remember years ago there was a short film made about this SCP. A security guard ordered "God" on the machine, and it produce a drink. The guard drank it, smiled to himself, then shot himself in the head.

[@KlaxontheImpailr]

Wow, I’ve never heard of that. Is this 343’s origin story?

[@jaimemacintyre8545]

A classic SCP I'm glad to finally see covered. This one is a core memory in the way it forever changed the term "cup of Joe" for me.

[@everykelmemeiscanon3437]

Mix with orange juice

[@_synne]

I love the idea that if this were real you'd have a whole bunch of people requesting "Coffee and Irish Creme" or "Purple Drank" and getting either wasted or super high on the job.

[@katanah3195]

I would request "a cup of cuddles" every day to keep me warm and happy all day.

[@_synne]

@@katanah3195 Congratulations, you just liquified someone's pet. Someone out there had to have named a pet 'Cuddles.'

[@katanah3195]

@@_synne Good point. Maybe I should request "love".

[@autumnfire1490]

@@katanah3195 parents who name their kids love:

[@alyssakitten6006]

I'm loving the longer videos! Definitely keep the amazing content coming you guys~

[@mrpeacecraft]

The first 2 minutes are copy paste from other vids.

[@oceanicblaze-o_b-9752]

Wow, SCP 294 has to in my top 10 favorite anomalies, I love how it's not just a *normal* anomalous coffee machine, it's also smart and sentient, which makes it kind of cute, kind and funny 😄

[@SwagRum76_]

Me too

[@DallySkyeAnims]

I love these Vending Machine type SCPs, gives so kuch potential to contribute your ideas.

[@denisekershner4417]

Agreed.

[@darthzayexeet3653]

You forgot the story of the odorless, lavender-colored “perfect drink” “Everything is just a big letdown now”

[@cloudywillowshome]

Me when I'm out of Dr. Pepper:

[@Lunarcreeper]

Type in "All of humanity's depression" and then give that cup to someone you don't like

[@mjn6617]

I would use the coffee machine to get a taste bud enhancer, and a smell enhancer as well. Living without being able to taste or smell sucks

[@maxgalaxykid7309]

I'm sorry that is the way things are... If I knew even the smallest solution, I have zero qualms telling you.

[@mjn6617]

@@maxgalaxykid7309 I actually used to be able to taste things. But I've never been able to smell.

[@tonyhakston536]

Imagine if you input “my lost senses of taste and smell” and it stole them from your past.

[@mjn6617]

@@tonyhakston536 That... would be terrifying.

[@0hvist]

"A Cup of Blindness Curing" would be perfect for this guy I know of; poor sod lost the ability to see.

[@blackwatertv7018]

I got Alcohol, bugle chips and a new SCP explained video from Hunter and it’s my day off tomorrow. Life is good

[@The_Shimp]

In my opinion, this is one of the most interesting SCPs.

[@OutHereCorbin]

You may want to put an eplilepsy warning on that cup of music! I'm glad i'm not epileptic but I know many who are.

[@AlterationA]

"Sentient, intelligent, and even a little sarcastic" I don't know what dimension you live in, but that sounds like your bog-standard barista to me.

[@dameonvee7869]

Could you ask the machine for "12 fluid ounce of laxatives to be evenly divided amongst the 12 next requested fluids"?

[@kratos_benjamin]

Alright, who let bright create a youtube account?

[@sirvatt]

Alright Dr. Bright, we know it's you, i really should report your ANOTHER youtube account.

[@jackblevins1201]

That would be a nice prank on the next people

[@Java_Protogen]

I could see Bright doing that

[@CrimsonWalter9092]

Dr. Bright, you're not allowed to run a satire KZbin channel!

[@hackprefect]

Look at that buff scientist, slangin' and bangin' around the Foundation.

[@Jarmen__Kell]

I recall there was also mention of a subject ordering "Best drink in existence" and committing "not live" after drinking it.

[@melonmanmoop3255]

we're forgetting since it takes liquids and not creating it, a number of people had their morning cup of coffee stolen by the scp-foundation

[@MichanMoonlight]

Working as a Foundation Janitor with level two security clearance Dr.bright tricked me into trying a "indestructibility" potion. I am now the only Janitor allowed to clean out the most dangerous cells at site 19 and have to live in a site 19 cell/apartment. Thanks a lot Dr.Bright! .PS. Trying to repeat the same request from SCP-294 ends up with a ERROR message.

[@woodenfloor6374]

I wonder if this SCP could produce the memory stuff you get from SCP-3000

[@KlaxontheImpailr]

…holy crap

[@shiran31]

I wonder if SCP-914 is related to SCP-294, as they share an affinity to dispensing new things, being intelligent and sarcastic.

[@katanah3195]

I have a test idea. Produce an abstract concept with 294 then refine it in 914.

[@nigelonetasty5370]

I wonder what happens if you ask for liquid virtues, like Liquid Courage. And see if they just pour beer in a cup

[@jelleluyten5017]

SCP foundation: puts insufficiently tested anomalous item in the break room Also SCP foundation: lectures people for doing their testing work for them

[@jameskarg3240]

Agent Joseph got VERY lucky it only takes 12 ounces XD

[@th3comb1ne13]

The guy who asked for antiwater is stupid. That antimatter would immediately react with the matter around it essentially detonating a nuke.

[@YunxiaoChu]

@@th3comb1ne13 the cup is indestructible tho

[@th3comb1ne13]

@@YunxiaoChu The antimatter will react with the air.

[@calebdagamer2403]

Ayy, another SCP animation video! Love these, keep up the good work!

[@jacktar25]

It was quite sweet that Cassie got a milkshake out of this. I wouldn't mind hearing anything similar happening with other scps. I wonder how 999 would react to this, would it get some liquefied candy or some strange cup of happiness?

[@optiquest86]

I've been waiting for you to make this one for over a year now. Thank you!

[@heavyweaponsguy153]

SCP-294 into SCP-914 ideas: Rough: Dissembled coffee machine but the main computer drive would be sentient. Coarse: Old and worn coffee machine with no properties 1:1: Changes appearance and if ran through enough goes from liquids to foods Fine: Can produce food and beverages. Lower risk of "Out of range" errors. Very Fine: Damage resistant and no longer needs to be plugged in. Also, can produce practically anything without siphoning from anywhere else. Also drinking something that would normally be temporary (ex A cup of medical knowledge) would be permanent. No "Out of range" errors ever. Thoughts?

[@MechaWolf0]

Dr. Ariel: "We are not risking 294 for that! You're on Keter duty!"

[@OnePieceFan4765]

Since it’s sentient they should try taking a picture of it with the desire camera

[@TheAdmiralWTF]

About the cancer thing, would starting regular treatment after removing the cancer with 294 be far more likely ro succeed? I mean a stage 4 cancer patient could be resetted to stage 1

[@MrMementoMori]

Now this is an interesting SCP. I must read the full entry.

[@Freshest_Water]

Where can you go to read the full entries at??

[@Freshest_Water]

@@Greendalewitch thank you!

[@shaynecarter-murray3127]

This has long been my favorite. If I could have access to any scp object, I would choose this every time

[@anzaca1]

10:06 Agent Joseph's sacrifice was certainly not in vain. Thanks to him, the Foundation learned how dangerous SCP-294 can be, without any lives being lost.

[@MechaWolf0]

Dr. Ariel: "Agent Joseph survived and made a full recovery. He is not keen on repeating that experience."

[@laboot7447]

1. Pestilence Cure 2. Imagine being a koala and you need to take a piss, only for you to lose the feeling for some strange reason 3. Idk, the machine can make abstract ideas but not but luiquid carbon as a substitute for liquid diamond, not buying it

[@VPWedding]

"Liquid diamond" is a direct contradiction in terms. "A cup of music" can at least be treated figuratively.

[@charapresscott7750]

Whenever I think of the Coffee Machine all I think of is the old Yogscast series YogLabs and Lewis’ attempts to fix the coffee machine in that.

[@Java_Protogen]

I miss yoglabs, I still don't know why they stopped making episodes. SoF I understand, the world was corrupted and it had been far too long for them to continue on a recreation. But yoglabs was really popular and they just ended it on a cheap cliffhanger

[@charapresscott7750]

@@Java_Protogen *cough* Shadow of Israphel *cough*

[@Java_Protogen]

@@charapresscott7750 yes, that’s what SoF is

[@EinManU]

"id like a bucket of dr brights soul" since the soul remover thingie showed us that souls can just be liquid and filled into jars, wouldnt this be a promising way to finally give dr. bright the death he wants?

[@nintendoboy3605]

Could we also use it to terminate SCP 682

[@slinger3391]

@@nintendoboy3605 considering the things plot armour youd probably just get another copy of it

[@Thewhovianwhoisageek]

@@slinger3391 or just SCP 682 would just remake it

[@crazycanyon3028]

50 scents for a soul yes

[@graycatsaderow]

I think it will just say error message,i dont think souls can be liquid

[@xTriton_]

*Person:* A hot cup of Joe, please! *Machine:* What's Joe? *Person:* Joe Mama. *Machine:* _Starts melting and draining the dude of his body fluids_

[@midnightexe7248]

9:32 the machine took the "a hot cup of joe" quote/name LITERALLY

[@juliansoria7733]

I like this machine, he sounds cool. You should do a video of "What would you type on the machine"

[@lucielm]

I'd ask for a cup of the best cheesecake milkshake.

[@humblecard1900]

have they ever typed "cure for The Pestilence' in scp 294 for the plague doctor

[@Bancheis]

Honestly, we all know it would just be something deadly that kills the patient. It has a dark sense of humor.

[@deathsheir2035]

@@Bancheis Its dark sense of humor only comes into play when you aren't careful with what you ask. "Surprise Me" is one way for the sense of humor to show itself. "Hot cup of Joe" is another, since it can be taken in one of two meanings. Average person would think coffee, while the machine went, "let me teach you a funny lesson."

[@zoruatricksta0408]

I would probably ask for "What I'm craving" every time I use it, since I'm quite indecisive when the options are theoretically endless

[@NazukiraMiyasaki]

This is a very great idea

[@Parakeetlover3]

I would input that all the time if it existed lol

[@AgraxGaming]

This SCP has a somewhat twisted sense of humor. It might give you something… weird

[@zoruatricksta0408]

@@AgraxGaming it'll still be what I'm craving, so what's the issue?

[@FoxtrotGolfLima]

didn’t someone ask for a cup of the sun then the entire site was vaporized except the coffee machine itself

[@zeratul____1228]

Just a few "requests" that might have interesting results. - A cup of (insert stat here, IE; Strength or inteligence) - A cup of immortality - A cup of Fountain of Youth - A cup of ambition

[@mixmatch5097]

Imagine if someone typed in 682’s favourite drink

[@chikenbone2]

at almost exactly 15:18 there's a weird glitch with the doctors arm. Also i figure it's a coincidence but i left a comment a few days ago about how the one item i'd steal from them would be the coffee machine. I figure it takes much longer than a few days to make these so it's just a neat synchronicity.

[@alexsummers691]

It's 15:17 but ye

[@NotAVampire235]

15:17:05

[@NotAVampire235]

15:17.5

[@mattmeyer99]

Scp foundation: we have weird coffee machine Jack Bright: ah my next restriction

[@forgottenetremembered]

100 cups of jack bright.

[@TheGreaterDane]

Remember, whatever Dr. King asked for, he only ever got apple seeds

[@vestiges-of-teal]

14:10 probably the best animation that ive seen from this channel. he do be vibin tho

[@nikolozparulava3169]

Dude do liquid gold. Per cup is 2000 dollars, an average coffee is 2$, so 50 drinks every hour turns to 50,000 coffee per hour

[@nikolozparulava3169]

Oh you can also do scorpion venom which would be 3,500,000 per cup. Thats enough for the whole foundation to have coffee every hour for 19 years! (Im talking about 1 single cup btw)

[@SincradTB]

Me, seeing cup of “Joe” emphasized while knowing SCPs can have super intricate backstories: W-who the frick is Joe

[@ishouldntbegivenaccesstoth6511]

joe ma-

[@ThatCrazySylveonIsAtItAgain]

Is it weird that I want to be friends with this one? Because I want to be friends with The Coffee Machine.

[@tauceti8060]

You need human interaction in your life.

[@ThatCrazySylveonIsAtItAgain]

@@tauceti8060 humans are overrated. I'll take a sentient, intelligent coffee machine over the most contradictory species on the planet.

[@poisonouswolves]

I want to be friends with it too

[@ThatCrazySylveonIsAtItAgain]

@@poisonouswolves FINALLY someone who gets it

[@Name_Pendingg]

this is my favorite SCP!

[@Brock_Lee501]

"A cup of SCP-999" - Famous last words.

[@waterteafan9264]

I love this SCP, being sentient

[@geardog24]

SCP-294 The only thing that can actually destroy the Hard to Destroy Reptile.

[@diamonddavey]

Yeah, assuming it can dispense enough SCP-682 killing syrum

[@thelivingglitch1371]

Yeah. The basic theory of the serum is fine; the only challenge would be getting enough of it to finally do Gecko Boi in.

[@ChocoRainbowCorn]

@@thelivingglitch1371 It wouldn't be challenging at all - Very time consuming at worst.

[@keanethshee6986]

Then 682 will adapt to the effects

[@rvpairofdicethewanderer2383]

The game "SCP --- Containment Breach" has an SCP-294 where if you input "Something that will destroy SCP-682", "Something that destroys SCP-682", or "Something to destroy SCP-682", the output is a white and glowing liquid that immediately explodes if you touch it but I doubt this is enough to kill it.

[@brettnelson7048]

To be honest, SCP-294 sounds more like a Safe class despite its ability to dispense any kind of liquid.

[@Ryu_D]

It's probably the same reason the SCP version of Cthulhu isn't rated safe, despite having no desire to escape. Other people. XP

[@rvpairofdicethewanderer2383]

It's Euclid because people can easily mishandle it. The Object can literally dispense anything super hot, supet cold, toxic, corrosive, explosive, and memetic as long as the input makes sense.

[@coco_killua3057]

It should actually be Safe, because it is Contained safely and can't "escape"/breach containment. The classification shouldnt be based on the danger it poses but more how it Acts when contained

[@rvpairofdicethewanderer2383]

@@coco_killua3057 You forgot the part that the Foundation considers SCP-294 to be sentient. Sentient Objects are automatically classified as "Euclid" unless proven to be very cooperative, friendly, self-containing, and/or completely harmless (Examples: SCP-343, SCP-507, SCP-999, SCP-1370).

[@deividymario2408]

I mean, if someone types in something really stupid, or the machine trolls it (just like the super hot water in liquid form) it could be really disastreous, imagine an: "Surprise me" and the machine just spill out SCP-009 for example.

[@Xyarcl]

Me casually typing in "a drink that make u beautiful" for scp 096

[@void_bloxgaming8261]

1:28 it is canonically called the hard to kill *reptile* ,not lizard

[@alexworld8255]

My own research notes: D-Classes tried typing in emotions to 294; Happiness resulted in them becoming so overjoyed, they suffered a heart attack. The one who typed Sadness stated it tasted salty, like tears. He disappeared, but I know he isn’t dead. Anger resulted in the experimentee getting so enraged with the world, his blood literally boiled him alive.

[@tinanguyen5969]

Dilute it

[@jotarosans7540]

"it also has a sense of humour" "Dr bright is no longer allowed to request "a prank for X" from scp 294"

[@hawkeyestegosaurus5680]

Couldn't they use this to produce mastics instead of the other various and dangerous methods of acquiring it?

[@mgtow346]

This, is my favorite scp I would type in thank you.

[@DolphinII_]

12:07 who would have thought that carbon was made of carbon

[@EvilJawa]

Was the cross test with "The Desire Camera" an official entry?

[@Voidbear_FNaF_and_Undertale]

I think you already made a video on it? I may be wrong though. Or you forgot to give me the amnestics. Though something is different and fails to mention the 682 killing liquid.

[@electroflames]

They are redoing videos but more in depth and longer.

[@doctor_glowup]

That was probably just a 682 termination attempt video. I know they’ve mentioned it but I don’t remember a video on the coffee machine already.

[@rvpairofdicethewanderer2383]

The game "SCP --- Containment Breach" has an SCP-294 where if you input "Something that will destroy SCP-682", "Something that destroys SCP-682", or "Something to destroy SCP-682", the output is a white and glowing liquid that immediately explodes if you touch it but I doubt this is enough to kill it.

[@UselessAnimations1]

The thumbnail 💀💀💀

[@44Hd22]

3:11 my Keyboard isn’t QWERTY. 6:39 Diamonds are just carbon. 10:03 why did they put it in a break room? 11:39 that was way too risky. It could have had cosmic scale or infinite range. The machine seems like it can’t get destroyed by itself so the explosion might have been limited by the cup of it might not happen while the cup touches a sufficient amount of the anti water. 18:09 maybe it does stuff differently when you pay it more.

[@jameskarg3240]

Jesus, even THIS thing cant cure cancer?