SCP-3288 │ The Aristocrats │ Keter │ K-Class Scenario SCP

[@apassionatenerd.3564]

Sigma-6 18 was a Legend. Gets eaten, survives it, realizes he's not escaping and decides to blow himself up and take as many of those nasty bastards with him as he could. What a badass.

[@Beany2007FTW]

When other MTF members signed their lives away on that dotted line, Sigma-6 18 *fucking meant it*

[@nathangerardhernandez9576]

Sigma-6 18 truly is a sigma male.

[@massivejuicer1635]

@Jeff Matamoros killionaire grindset

[@fungus4347]

Truly a sigma male of the highest order

[@Grocel512]

Sigma-6 18 Allahu akbar'ed it.

[@clericofchaos1]

Boy, this is one of the most complete stories i've heard so far. Nothing redacted, nothing blotted over, actual names and dates. The only word censored was one that might get them in trouble with KZbin.

[@joobtoob588]

Yes! I hate it when there is unnecessary redacted parts.

[@clericofchaos1]

@@joobtoob588 Me too! It really breaks the flow.

[@cable.3538]

I hope it gets updated I want to learn more. Sounds like this one has a lot to tell

[@daniell1483]

Agreed. Too often, SCP articles go overboard with redactions. Sometimes for pointless reasons. This is nice in that there are none at all.

[@ArcAngle1117]

@@joobtoob588 The worst is when significant amounts of it are redacted. There are some that are more redactions than actually stories

[@johnterrencesmith2148]

"So this SCP involves cannibalism, inbreeding, guts, gore, Charles II, The Hapsburgs, a massive amount of genetic disorders, teeth six times the size of human teeth, mysterious disappearances, explosions, alchemy and the occult. Jeez that's dark, what's this SCP called?" "The Aristocrats"

[@Luggajo]

Grandma rides in on a bicycle...

[@Luggajo]

Awesome reference btw

[@a-10warthog72]

Bc Bureaucrats would be too scary

[@That_wet_noodle]

“ a normal Tuesday in Britain”

[@hate2191]

Chewsday

[@uffle]

"your witchcraft cannot harm us, we are pure, we are resilient" **turns on flashlight** "AHGHHGAHGH GAHG GHHAHAH GH"

[@thebronyhoodpony5627]

Read that in Mr. Crabs tone😂

[@thaliacrafts407]

This needs to become a meme somehow

[@arielarango5715]

"you talk an awful lot of shit for someone who can't even stand in the sun"

[@richardendresz161]

Everybody gangsta until the king whips out the light stick

[@mixrd1065]

Kick over their mini fridges filled with monster

[@hamham_6411]

as a hungarian, the concept of a keter-class scp being the inbred descendants of the house of habsburg is nothing short of hysterical

[@naurrii]

as a hungarian, i agree

[@joemadarasz1519]

Very very agreed. My magyar heart is chuckling.

[@maarekstele2998]

As an American who is fascinated by the Austro Hungarian empire same

[@Relionart]

As a mexican, understanding a bit of how Maximilian of Habsburg was thought of when he was emperor here, same

[@maarekstele2998]

@@Relionart i always forget that was a thing

[@goroakechi6126]

Despite the disgust factor in all of this, I think this is one of the few times the SCP Foundation are invariably moral in how they deal with the SCP. Frankly, anyone who purges those genetic abominations off the face of the planet should get a hug, a latte and a cozy vacation week in Sweden.

[@holeeshi9959]

then you realize 3288 Alpha smelled "nobility" in Dr. Moser and refer to him as a Duke.....which mean Dr. Moser has the altered Habsburg genetic. and to eradicate these genetic abominations, they would need to eradicate "genetic time bombs" like Dr. Moser and a lot of human population, and you don't even know which one, it's not just the ones popping out of the vault

[@goroakechi6126]

@@holeeshi9959 Eh. Just because you have the Hapsburg gene doesn’t mean you turn out like them. All of the ones in the vault were inbreeding for another couple centuries. Normal people like Dr Moser probably just have it diluted to the point it doesn’t really matter health wise.

[@holeeshi9959]

@@goroakechi6126 it's not necessarily the incest, but the genetic manipulation that "enhances mutation and removing overriding from normal genes" that the witch gave them, that means the same tampering that enhances the mutation exists in some normal people

[@LordZadrenoss]

these things, SCP 3288, they are indeed abominations. you are correct, as their extermination would be service to the people that they eat...

[@oatmealman1586]

DO NOT GIVE THEM A VACATION TO EUROPE

[@strykertron232]

The thing that threw me off the most was how quickly Alpha submitted to the point of invitation to cannibalism, like it's dominance hierarchy is so ingrained into it that it saw itself as meat as soon as it was proved to be lesser.

[@starsiegeRoks]

Yes that was very interesting. If you notice, as the conversation continues, the Alpha starts to become antagonistic again as he realizes that his "better" is not doing the same thing he would do, which would be to rape and consume.

[@TheGallantDrake]

@Chandler Burse a question real historians ask themselves all the time. Look up the real Hapsburgs some time. And then proceed to wish you really didn’t. Such morbid history in such a high place.

[@dinowolf359]

@Chandler Burse you bet your ass there is

[@themoleman6806]

The only problem I have is that the “alpha” is sensitive to light even though it’s blind with no eyes.

[@moistflakes2918]

@@themoleman6806 skin can be sensitive to light

[@MarceloSilva-fv6ho]

"We do not submit. We DOMINATE" 30 seconds later "NO! NO! NO! WE YIELD!"

[@eschcal9839]

Typical politicians. They talk big while send fine men an women to die for their delusions, and somehow think sitting in their estates safe and guarded while others do the work isn't shameful. Especially since they claim shit got done because of them, when it was the entire country of men and women who make anything possible. Every country has its own instances of SCP - 3288 who hold power over the people. To this day, most judges are made to be so based on being raised to replace the judges before. We've seen our country in the US slow devolve back into a monarchy, we even have the sons of former presidents carrying on the Presidency. They are mostly cowards who only care about themselves and their own family, there is no loyalty to us or this country. We are bought like a sack of potatoes. We've got a President told by both Congress and the Supreme Court simply ignoring how our system works by just making edicts like a king, and nobody can stop him because impeachment is simply impossible with the House run by Dems. In 2022, its likely going to shift into the favor or Republicans. Some things may get fixed, but before long they'll pull the same crap every other politician does. We lack the balance of power we once had. No political system works if the laws meant to protect the people and preserve our country mean nothing, and we have no way of stopping them. Even Communism would work great if people had good intentions aligned with the needs of everyone. In return we invest power into them, and make them powerful. China just hours ago fired a nuclear missile that flies at supersonic speed that travelled across the entire globe before splashing into the ocean, but everyone sucks their cocks and hands them money and power because of greed. The US has too many people in power, bought out by China, making too many problems and there is no love for our fellow man anymore.

[@birdjericho]

His Royal Majesty of Corpulence and Spite, or one shiny lumen boi? Who will win? It isn't often that dominance-shift SCPs have a clearly exploitable weakness.

[@adlernelson285]

"Everybody has a plan, until they get punched in the face."

[@Nerdiness1985]

@@eschcal9839 Are you trying to say that people in charge tend to the the same people that never have to deal with the consequences? Welcome to planet Earth mate. I assume you are older than 13 so this should not exactly be anything new or surprising to you in 2021 since all those tricks were already in common use millennia ago.

[@MrJustonemorevoice]

Every bully, sadist, or narcissistic tyrant in history.

[@thesun5275]

I like how the researcher didnt hesitate to call himself a king when given the chance lmao.

[@SweetMargonade]

When deciding how to describe this scp the creator really looked up as many genetic deformities as he could.

[@blackwoodsecurity531]

They're all stuff that afflicted monarchy, especially the Spanish monarchy. Severe inbreeding creates its own horror show.

[@kenetickups6146]

Blackwood Security Any has the risk to

[@themedia1271]

Because the SCP is severely inbred

[@elvingearmasterirma7241]

All they had to do was pull up a royal family tree and look at the parts that were more like family wreaths

[@alphashocker7458]

That could not have been fun....

[@ajmeyers5661]

There's something extra terrifying about the clinical, dispassionate reading of a technical report about horrific monsters. You almost believe that, if all of humanity were in a secret and constant battle for its own existence, this is what the paperwork would feel and sound like. Everyone likes what they like, and I prefer this to the melodrama of the tales; this is what sets SCP apart from other fiction imo. Thank you for reading it!

[@ab14967]

The SCP Foundation has seen some horrifying stuff, and the only way to keep sanity for everyone else is to be clinical to ensure information can be accurate as possible so the next people who see this aren't left dead or insane.

[@kungfuskull]

How do you know we aren't? It is by definition *secret* afterall. 😏

[@kristyandesouza5980]

@@kungfuskull you'd canonicaly be just a clone from the true kungfuskull, as that one SCP the fundation created and used to same the world, that doesn't really save the world... Was already been used twice or more times

[@selalewow]

The extremely slow zoom on the computer monitor added to it immensely.

[@kungfuskull]

@@kristyandesouza5980 well, 1: it may have been used thousands of times, we have no way of knowing and 2: no way of knowing if it has been used during my lifetime. 3: I'm still me, cloned or not 🤷‍♂️ so, no worries.

[@bakonman6611]

The scariest part of 3288 is the fact it's so hard to tell if this thing is truly an otherworldly monster or just the darkest parts of humanity

[@wingerding]

Well it is a genetic experiment gone wrong

[@Garwinium]

Just some goofy guys

[@DatboiDemonX]

Real world mentions of the House Of Habsburg at 11:11, and mentions of actual conditions/deformities through inbreeding very early on in beginning.

[@pyerack]

It's very much meant as a parody/reflection of the darkest aspects of humanity. How do you think figures such as Genghis Khan were able to get their genes practically all over the region? Tyrants like him were perverted monsters much like the ones in this fictional story.

[@dylpik4374]

They became this way through the witch teaching sorcery to Leopold to allow inbeeding to even get to this point without becoming sterile.

[@afeathereddinosaur]

You know the SCP is spicy when the formerly Euclid to Keter happens

[@stingerjohnny9951]

Lol that’s the Foundation going “Uhhhh yeah I think we fucked up.”

[@SnakeRoadComicsOfficial3677]

Yea but 1048 is Spicier. Going from Safe to Keter

[@kristyandesouza5980]

@@SnakeRoadComicsOfficial3677 tbh that alone shouldn't mean anything, 4999 did that too

[@thelaughingrouge]

Some of my favorite ones are the ones that suddenly get upgraded cuz once the they figured out what they were REALLY dealing with it's like: "Uh-oh... UH-OH! *UH-OH!* "

[@senorkohlio4716]

Video: ”formally Euclid, now containment class Keter” Me: “oh shoot what happened 😯”

[@Calcorperations]

The voice acting was S-Tier on this one, well done man, I was existentially disgusted

[@DIA-gi9qh]

You know it's a good scp story when after it's over you feel like you've gone through 2 semesters of a biology class

[@daniell1483]

I think "Dominance Shift" events are some of the most fascinating SCPs. The nightmare-inducing thought that humanity may not always be at the top of the food chain gives a primal fear.

[@ObliviouslyAware]

Bigfoot looks at the Aristocrat, the aristocrat still freezes.*

[@jwalster9412]

*humanity trys to run from, what they can't see*

[@theleft4dead2tank5]

These things would never be on top they can’t even go outside and also they can still be killed easily

[@JordanMilly]

@@theleft4dead2tank5 other than going out at night, and being able to breed faster than any other large creature that currently exists.

[@theleft4dead2tank5]

@@JordanMillythere is still moonlight

[@Calbeck]

The most frightening part of this SCP is that Charles II of Spain's real-life autopsy was exactly as it is presented here. Heart the size of a peppercorn and all. A look at his real-life family tree is just as disturbing.

[@gliiitched4429]

I heard they were myths but still the dude was fucked up

[@ElectricBuckeye]

@@gliiitched4429 incest and inbreeding will do that.

[@ВикторВикторов-щ5ю]

Turning a family tree into a family circle

[@elvingearmasterirma7241]

@@gliiitched4429 Its difficult to say without having looked at the actual body. Which is long gone by now. Because he was VERY HATED while he was alive. But he was definitely one hell of a fucked up specimen and a peek example of why inbreeding is not a good idea

[@pinkflametheepic]

@@elvingearmasterirma7241 Yeah. Its unknown how much of that it true but he was very clearly physically deformed with a heap of medical issues. Branch out that family tree people

[@nightcorelucario2218]

I can imagine if the dominance shift occurred, Dr Bright going about wielding a comically large flashlight with deadly efficiency yelling "This calls for a *Bright* idea"

[@corrat4866]

@meat *God-Emperor Bright

[@JoshSweetvale]

He is a ham, after all.

[@jaccobbailey8247]

And then he brights all over those guys. Sick

[@dr.bright6272]

Sadly they never let me near any 3288 or I would.

[@0_dearghealach_083]

Well. We don't talk about Bright anymore.

[@apassionatenerd.3564]

The greatest quote in history: *"He had a single testicle, black as coal."*

[@Hunter-ju9dp]

That’s not SCP, that’s an actual historical account in the tale. He really was just that messed up

[@guidomista2570]

That’s an actual quote from the real dude’s autopsy, my guy didn’t even have a chance

[@apassionatenerd.3564]

@@Hunter-ju9dp thats crazy, how inbred do you have to be to get that warped? Also I've updated my comment accordingly

[@15sherpinski]

Actually the best quote is from the same document when the coroner writes "he confounded all of christandom and science by continuing to live."

[@Nudhul]

@@guidomista2570 i dont think that was an autopsy i think it was his physician checking his wellbeing. autopsies are a fairly recent procedure.

[@nick-playercharacter8583]

This is one of those SCPs that seems like it started out as a joke before developing into something truly skin-crawling.

[@ImpudentInfidel]

They made an SCP out of the very old "The Aristocrats" joke.

[@firepuppies4086]

@@dragonballandhonkaiimpact1022 ok, so you have this talent agency. One day a cute little family comes in, a mother, father, brother, sister, and a cute little dog.

[@jirojhasuo2ndgrandcompany745]

@@dragonballandhonkaiimpact1022 The family takes over the talent agency and commits incest and bestiality every second of their lives for hundreds of years

[@h4zrd273]

@@nightmarerex2035 what drugs are you on

[@stargatecommand714]

@@nightmarerex2035 Joe Biden knows where you live

[@Littlebigman-hx4es]

Serious props to whoever voiced the Alpha instance and the Duke. Fantastic work.

[@TheVolgun]

Thanks, that's me!

[@jimbomcbob7849]

​@@TheVolgun Idc how late this comment is, but that is incredibly fucking impressive.

[@owithalineybutitsupsidedow923]

@@TheVolgun your voice acting skills are incredibly, and every time I hear your normal voice your range blows me away

[@Kermit_E_Frog]

​@@TheVolgunyou have a really nice range

[@DickyDouglas]

The short explanations of the medical diagnostics really helped in picturing the horror of the SCP itself, which is very much appreciated

[@chrishusted9296]

Kinda? I think it could have been done better. Like the teeth are basically explained twice among a couple others I can't think of off top of my head.

[@nuip7936]

@@chrishusted9296 they were in footnotes so not just written out like volgun shows

[@chaosa928]

I actually hated the fact that the writer used so many complicated medical terms. Made it harder for me to visualize because of the pacing change every few seconds. All the explanations seemed unnecessary when they could have just done a more comprehensive description without using terms unfamiliar with the common people. It honestly started to feel more like a medical lesson than a story

[@gummyboots]

@@chaosa928 That's not the writers fault, it was not presented that way in the article, Volgun reformatted it for the sake of reading aloud.

[@chaosa928]

@@gummyboots I know that he included the footnotes in the reading, I am talking about the article itself.

[@jonsquatch5682]

I think having an operative group called "The kingslayers" that specialize in the hunting and eradication of these SCPs would be sick. I'd hella listen to that.

[@fungus4347]

I imagine them being all coincidentally French.

[@jadsmvs8651]

Operation: Dethrone.

[@BruhMoment-ev5ep]

@@jadsmvs8651 Operation: Robespierre or Operation: New October

[@kenpanderz672]

Rip and Tear...

[@communistpotato3204]

Throw in a Jaime Lannister in there as well

[@declanjones8888]

Man the MTF guys are always so underappreciated even though their literally the most badass group of people in The Foundation.

[@KeifersIsAwesome]

I like to think that's part of the reason that SCP Overlord was made.

[@Hamun002]

WebMD got a workout in this one on god.

[@ceilingfan2608]

I may just be stupid but im also confused

[@MarzaButTube]

I think that whole part makes sense in world, rather than just describing it, using actual medical conditions, but man that was weird to listen to, probably not great to read either lol

[@trevbequick]

@@MarzaButTube I just finished taking a VERY intense anatomy course. Making the medical terms so fun to see involved

[@verager2493]

@@MarzaButTube Ya, I personally don't mind the lookups and/or explanations, especially because it makes sense for internal technical documents expected to use professional language, but this one, in particular, got pretty cumbersome. If I were reading it, I'd probably glaze over and mentally summarize: "they're fucked up, got it"

[@PineyJustice]

Sounds like someone looked up an ingrown toenail and wrote down all the webmd results into a SCP article

[@conkshellthegeek7]

"We do not eat human. We eat peasants. We eat undesirables. We devour life undeserving of life. That is the nature of nobility. What else would be the point?" ah yes thank you for explaining the metaphor

[@Digitaaliklosetti]

SCP fans tend to be pretty dim and very literal minded. It will still go over most heads.

[@conkshellthegeek7]

@@Digitaaliklosetti hey, c'mon dude, what was that for? i'm just doing some light-hearted ribbing over here, you don't have to throw around direct insults

[@Digitaaliklosetti]

@@conkshellthegeek7 I am an SCP fan. I must look facts in the face.

[@conkshellthegeek7]

@@Digitaaliklosetti hey, maybe it’s just me, but it seems like you might be taking this a little too seriously

[@ВикторВикторов-щ5ю]

Also, war is the thing for nobility to do, but that time has long since passed

[@valtersplume3726]

"Fun" fact: the helicopter crashed because the "things" ate their way out of the host (which is what also happened to the 8 other women) and then proceeded to eat the crew. There's no way this part wasn't inspired by Alien.

[@sawkmicoc4287]

Thats the part that made me fucking horrified. Yes their physical descriptions were disgusting and the dining room scene was tense even in a third person perspective, but jesus christ the description of her lower abdomin is so fucking helpess, and the cries for help even though its far too late. Man that shits fucking nightmare feul. Id go as far to say as its scarier than aliens depiction as these grotesque monstors fucking violate people and leave them deformed before they are slowly ate from the inside. I shat myself

[@sawkmicoc4287]

Thats the part that made me fucking horrified. Yes their physical descriptions were disgusting and the dining room scene was tense even in a third person perspective, but jesus christ the description of her lower abdomin is so fucking helpess, and the cries for help even though its far too late. Man that shits fucking nightmare feul. Id go as far to say as its scarier than aliens depiction as these grotesque monstors fucking violate people and leave them deformed before they are slowly ate from the inside. I shat myself

[@valtersplume3726]

@@sawkmicoc4287 IKR. The Alien part is turned to eleven. Even the Scary Trinity - 096, 173 and 682 - has got nothing on these spawns from hell. Yes, I consider 682 to be less horrifying than 3288.

[@mrpineapple3942]

@@valtersplume3726 at least the deaths from those three are relatively quick. 096 tears you to shreds in seconds, so you won’t feel too much pain. 173 snaps your neck and kills you faster than your brain can register, and if you’re lucky 682 will crush your skull and do the same. Not these guys though.

[@xyz7572]

@@valtersplume3726 idk I don’t really find any of those really scary. What terrifies me more is cosmic horror like Seven Strangers At A Feast; that one still makes me queasy to think about.

[@erselley9017]

Volgun...I want you to know I appreciate the voice over reading the footnotes that explained what the medical terms meant. I read this one not too long ago and I had to stop reading and go see what the terms meant. Your work does not go unnoticed.

[@RTDice11]

This is mighty fine horror, no pointless redactions or overblown multidimensional threats. Glad to see the community still has these gems

[@frankie3466]

Ik im like a year late on this But this is honestly something I could see in Outlast, just 10x more grotesque and unpleasant

[@SerifSansSerif]

It's because it's actually an earlier one. I miss these as well though

[@maxxpower3d6]

Series 3 and 4 were peak SCP. Though there exist plenty of good entries from before and since, the five years between 2013 and 2018 were the site's golden age.

[@nathanielgrey4091]

Ok, this is vile. Your reading of the King is impeccable, absolutely delightful. I am unsure if this or the Mask is your masterwork. Going to be revisiting this horror in the future.

[@dro11]

I've always loved that trope of humans evolving apart from regular humanity. You can take it in so many directions and this one was excellent

[@strykertron232]

There was a nice vampire fiction that had gene vampires that were an offshoot. The interesting thing about them is that their brain mass was so neuron dense that these vampires were essentially omnisavants, which in turn led to their downfall. They could learn quantum mechanics and almost all humanity's literary conditions in the span of a week, with the downside is that their brains could be very easily tripped out, by right angles of all things. This is due to a pure 90 degree angles not really being found in nature, so when they see things like a cross, a windowpane, or even a comic strip, it can induce a seizure.

[@dro11]

@@strykertron232 now THAT'S what im talking about lol holy shit that sound interesting. Creative and scientifically plausible (even if its far fetched)

[@shcdemolisher]

@@strykertron232 Damn! That's a good way to describe a weakness that actually makes sense.

[@marcusgo6784]

@@strykertron232 Imagine being so smart that you die because of a shape

[@strykertron232]

@@marcusgo6784 turns out the first vampire hunter was Pythagoras.

[@lizhasasthma]

I love SCPs like this because they truly feel like a dark reflection of our own world with the way they're rooted in aspects of our own reality (in this case the actual incestual practices of the Hapsburgs taken to horrific extremes and the way the rich and powerful tend to treat those they consider "beneath" them).

[@sarajohnson6855]

Exactly how I feel, the fact on how analogous this SCP is to our real life made my skin crawl

[@mwellnow5016]

It's way too on the nose for my taste. Though the monsters were still quite scary.

[@nix-cipher]

The "Elites" are not bound by conventional ethics or morality,just look at Epstein & his child sex island that Hillary Clinton frequently visited.

[@youtubehasbigcringe]

hurr durr rich ebil

[@bloodyhell8201]

@@youtubehasbigcringe taste the boot(tm)

[@dialaskisel5929]

Wait, this isn't an SCP. This is just a normal Habsburg!

[@Jourell1]

A couple of points- the Hapsburgs did practice inbreeding with close family members and were severely deformed by the end of their linage. Notably for this story, the so called Hapsburg lip/jaw, ie a jaw distended by prognathism was a common characteristic of the family. Though the story is obviously inspired by the infamous dirty joke, another thing that comes to my mind is jonathan swifts "a modest proposal" which presents a logical (and satirical) argument for cannibalism of the poor.

[@tachankathechub4727]

Ah, I remember reading “A modest proposal “ in like tenth grade. It made me chuckle

[@JurzGarz]

They were not severely deformed by the end of their lineage, nor did they deliberately practice inbreeding. For one, Hapsburgs are still around today (not kings anymore though), and they look like normal people. The last Hapsburg Emperor, Karl I, also looked like a normal person and was, by most accounts, a standup guy.

[@JurzGarz]

“Inbreeding” of the Hapsburgs is generally overstated. They weren’t fucking their brothers and sisters like the ancient Egyptian Pharaohs did. Rather, there was a small pool of potential matches because social conventions demanded marriage between partners of equal rank. In other words, they could only marry into other royal families. This smaller genetic pool resulted in an increased chance of genetic deformities.

[@Jourell1]

@@JurzGarz I am aware of that, though the Hapsburgs were generally thought to practice closer relationships than even other noble families of the day.

[@santi2683]

@@Jourell1 they did so to maintain their various domains in Europe within their dynasty. The Habsburgs had inherited half Europe almost by luck having opportune marriages and they knew they could lose it the same way, so they made sure to keep claims and successions within their dynasty as much as catholic anti incest laws allowed them to.

[@Josobro]

when i read "The Aristocrats" i didn't immediately think of anything in particular, but when the continous description of medical deformities in the SCP made me think: "these are just Von Habsbergs, aren't they?"

[@Josobro]

listened a little further and i was right. goodness, that's funny.

[@mrpineapple3942]

They literally are xD

[@coalcastle]

It talks about vienna and that they were under a habsburg castle

[@BeaACutie154]

this writer really did their research into different medical conditions and bodily anomalies, mad respect to them

[@wolfetteplays8894]

Agreed

[@thegoddamnsun5657]

cringe pfp

[@Optimus594]

@@thegoddamnsun5657 big words for a huge fuckin ball of gas

[@thegoddamnsun5657]

@@Optimus594 Yeah? see you in 5 billion years 😆😆

[@Breeze45-s4h]

​@@thegoddamnsun5657 boohoo

[@GunNutproductionsOG]

Can I say first off I really do appreciate the added description for these various medical conditions cause I won’t lie outside of the more popular ones I wouldn’t know at all what certain things are.

[@Smitteys86]

The king's voice acting was so good! The outburst during the story about his eyes felt a bit corny when I first read it but you absolutely sold it and made it terrifying.

[@cr820]

Seriously. I near leapt out of my skin.

[@-F4K3-]

I think what I like most about the SCPverse is the stories of ancient horrors that preyed upon humanity now getting a taste of their own medicine. The hunter becomes the hunted so to speak. Its a strange feeling, but so satisfying

[@reyrapids63]

Scariest part of this SCP, it is barely altered from the real life history of the Hapsburgs.

[@JurzGarz]

Pretty sure the real Hapsburgs never had a wing of underground hyper-inbred monsters.

[@reyrapids63]

@@JurzGarz you are exactly right! The Hapsburgs kept their hyper-inbred monsters aboveground.

[@StCreed]

@@JurzGarz how do you know?

[@anjetto1]

yeah. I was waiting for a twist that never came

[@mattderogatory4068]

Yo what the F$CK?!

[@murrowmench1565]

The truly horrifying part of SCPs for me is the borderline futility of stopping them all. The Foundation is completely focused on containing and neutralizing any potential XK Class Scenarios and other deadly anomalies…and if they lose just *once*, the world ends. Each individual SCP is restrained for now, but for how long? Will we all be wiped from existence? Killed by anomalies? Transformed into aristocrats? Which fate awaits? Because it only takes one. Just one.

[@ghostgamingxd7881]

No the foundation has plans for that , in fact humans have went extinct many times in many scp articles but they have a scp under the thaumiel class that is there to help the foundation and it’s like a back up for humanity and can basically give all humans another guy with the same memories and everything

[@klutzmtg2310]

“It Takes Just One” makes for a good X-K Class SCP.

[@onemansvoice9132]

@@ghostgamingxd7881 what if the world blows up or the aristocrats never die and just keep eating any new humans

[@ghostgamingxd7881]

@@onemansvoice9132 there is infinite amount of universes in the scp foundation so we just see a universe which hasn’t been destroyed yet

[@willlastnameguy8329]

I think we can take these guys. They don't seem to have guns. I could personally take out a small horde of them. Buckshot > R-tard strength.

[@Starthclyde]

I always imagined the empress as being the exact opposite of the emperor, meaning she could pass as a normal human and most likely is something like a model or athlete since the bloodline purification worked but only in one distinct line everything else is grabby grabby nom nom monsters

[@danielm.595]

That's what it seems, what if only one branch of the inbreeding got increasingly cannibalistic and monstrous, like you said, while the other got all the benefits without any of the negatives? Maybe that message was never supposed to reach him in the first place, which would mean that the Empress' clan got the greenlight to start reproducing normally again and share their genes with the rest of humanity, which could, eventually, make all humans super like her line.

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

Nah. Eugenics never produces favorable results.

[@danielm.595]

@@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick we're talking about a genetically/magically enhanced bloodline, so there's a chance that at least one branch of it managed to get all the positives with none of the negatives.

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

@@danielm.595 Oh believe me, the fact that these walking political cartoons is even able to EXIST, let alone subsist, is already a staggeringly impressive feat of magical bullshit. Several centuries of incest, living underground, eating raw meat and shit, and getting progressively more and more deformed with every generation is not gonna produce anything that can be confused for your average person. Hell, if anything, their superhuman reproductive feats make it even easier to pollute their own gene pool further, and the more likely that their building defects are eventually gonna make them past the point of even magic being able to help them.

[@Mezha07]

You know what's even more horrific with this thaught? If the empress is indeed the opposite of the king which has perfected a purified inbred lineage with a bloodline and genes as strong as it is and is somewhat a version of a perfect human at least on their lineage then that would mean isn't it also possible that she is within the foundation itself and probably on eof the 05 or is part of other organization or is probably a world leader in disguise it's very possible now that her specific lineage that achieved the perfection they were looking for deemed the rest of the inbreds as liabilities and manipulated the foundation to hunt, or detain them

[@cyberprime9355]

History, Body Horror, and bonafide nightmare fuel.....a combo that makes current SCPs sound amateur in comparison. And fills me with dread every time I think about it.

[@elijah4168]

Don't hate on new SCPs, bro.

[@cyberprime9355]

@@elijah4168 I don't, but they could be better to a degree.

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

@@cyberprime9355 clearly you haven't looked into the Kactusverse.

[@sheepbeeps3369]

Many of the older SCP's are just as cringey as the new ones. But sometimes there's gold, or sometimes time polishes them into diamonds.

[@cyberprime9355]

@@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement Perhaps not.

[@shadyjeff6100]

This is one of the most legitimately terrifying SCPs there are.

[@Northern_LAD]

I’m sure it’s loosely based on a real thing though, this family still exists and owns land in Austria

[@jmcalcy69]

@@Northern_LAD And they're just as inbred as these SCPs are, too

[@MariekeLisette]

@@Northern_LAD Well, I know which country to avoid

[@merrylildeath3113]

( if you cant tell its the habsburg ‘royal’ dynasty)

[@Nudhul]

@@merrylildeath3113 iirc the youngest habsburg is a formula 1 racer

[@redengineer4380]

31:10 It's interesting that this "witch" knew about DNA. Maybe she was some sort of time traveller?

[@lingaustin2854]

It’s heavily implied she’s a Sarkic sorceress or a Karcist. In the SCP universe they’re a religion of people known for their flesh-warping capabilities.

[@rensaldana4265]

My man got consumed alive and whole and decided to chad out and take them with him. Absolute SCP containment champion

[@habere]

ive always found mtfs and other militaristic parts of the foundation to be super interesting. when most horror protagonists are untrained and scared civilians, its even scarier when all the training and traditional weaponry the foundation can offer is put up against the supernatural

[@Late0NightPC]

Agreed. The idea of a super highly trained special agent who's entire job is to deal with horrific nightmares like this, tripping and having to hide in an area he absolutely knows won't do anything to help him, only to then have to realize he was caught and is seconds from dying a slow and agonizing death, is nightmarish in a very different way from the other nightmares of the SCP universe. Even just the tiny detail of him firing a silent distress signal, even though he should fully know there's nothing they could do for him... They really deserve more respect. The SCPs are cool and all, but the "boots on the ground" deserve some attention too.

[@PapaWraiths]

your uncensored lecture of this SCP is utter perfection! Thank you for your efforts!! amaing work! subbed and look forwards to the rest of your library!

[@meekalefox2703]

That speech by the duke in the end is chilling. "Our dynasty will never die."

[@3rdtimesthecharm376]

TIME TO BREAK OUT THE FLAMMENWERFERS!

[@valtersplume3726]

@@3rdtimesthecharm376 THE *HEAVY* FLAMMENWERFERS!

[@tarektechmarine8209]

@@valtersplume3726 Vulkan approves.

[@braydencole6117]

"HANZ, GET ZE FLAMMENWERFER, und think up some cool music to sing while we exterminate zeis abominations" Hans: "WIR SIND DES GEYER SWARCHZER HAUFEN..."

[@joshuamourning6650]

Nuke the sites from orbit

[@McSquiddington]

Not so sure about "Eat the Rich" as an axiom, anymore. This is making me think we should get "Entomb the Rich in Concrete" trending.

[@BestBetterBestest]

I wholeheartedly agree

[@lingaustin2854]

Alternatively, “Eat the Rich…Before They Eat You”.

[@Chokah]

Prefer "burn them with flamethrowers" myself.

[@marcogypaetus9607]

Yeah, I mean, they are rotten to the core, probably taste awful.

[@DiscipleOfHeavyMeta1]

Yes.

[@Korraganitar]

I love how this is a riff on the old "The Aristocrats" joke, as well as a case where the writer decided that the answer to "how many weird genetic mutations does this SCP have" was "YES".

[@Johnconagher]

They have a condition that makes them have troll faces

[@sledgehammer1]

Immediately reminded me of your video covering SCP-082, Ferdinand the Cannibal. Feels almost like a missing link, as if he left the hive before many of the more debilitating deformities took hold.

[@Breeze45-s4h]

difference is, Ferdinand is kind and actually chill

[@clarkstrange2142]

@@Breeze45-s4h BADMITTEN!

[@RomeoEchoDelta]

Lol, I love how far the joke has gone over everyone's heads. To be fair though, the person who wrote this entry is exceptionally talented. Enough so that he turned a punchline into a horror story straight out of 40K.

[@outermarker5801]

I'm ashamed to say it didn't go over mine lol. In my wayward curious youth I sought out the legendary tale 🤮 This is quite the evolution

[@keenumman1]

It's a combination of the joke and the fact that the royals saw themselves as above and separate from the common folk. And let's be honest if they wanted to rape to death and eat some bakers daughter. Who who would of done anything about it, if anyone even found out about it at all.

[@reverendrico5631]

@@keenumman1 there actually was a reason why nobles rarely did such things, it only takes one patient man to kill anyone. Not to mention that other nobles would us such behavior as political leverage, even if they themselves indulged in such behavior. If people saw a noble as a monster, they would be isolated and see their status fall. That is even worse than a victim seeking revenge. It affects the entire family. Remember in olden times rumor was sufficient to see a family line ended. Not to say such things didn’t happen. They certainly did. It is simply that perversions and brutality where kept out of sight by any noble with an ounce of wit about them.

[@War_is_cool]

I mean, there are things called halo devices which basically turn the user into something like the aristocrat

The malignant narcissist fears the death of its sickness more than it fears the death of its identity

[@persianking44]

"Compared the deceased to victims of hyena attacks.." That's implying that the victims were being *eaten alive* o.o .....

[@chazzwozzio]

Also bones crushed and marrow sucked out

[@19kp.]

Flamethrower

[@PainCausingSamurai]

And eaten genitals-first

[@VarangianGuard13]

@@19kp. Flamethrower seconded. I'd also suggest a few 250lb fuel-air or napalm shells.. Fill the hellhole with fire.

[@valtersplume3726]

That's exactly what happened.

[@jmcalcy69]

This is one of my favorite strictly horror SCPs, it has legitimately kept me up at night. Great pick, Volgun.

[@theelusinianmysteries]

bisexual gang

[@annadyke259]

Its a reference to a joke, "the aristocrats"

[@cyborglion4179]

@@annadyke259 Is it though

[@luizclaudio6476]

That is one of my favorites scps

[@hermanmunster1054]

That f****** line... THAT F****** LINE!!! 40:50 BRILLIANT! Absolutely brilliant. An SCP article with a punchline. I've never walked so far for and still been satisfied by the end of any joke ever. I don't know who wrote it but they deserve awards. Brilliant pitch perfect delivery. From the son of two professional comedians and a lifelong improver: Bravo. This might be the second best version of this joke I've ever heard.

[@Rubycon20]

Gilbert Gottfried being the best or..?

[@hermanmunster1054]

@@Rubycon20 of course. Remember, the most important rule of comedy is Gilbert Gottfried's famous renditions of this joke will not make you laugh if you hear it now... Probably, however, he performed it well and what is more important he told it at the right time. Gilbert Gottfried told the world's dirtiest joke live on stage while being recorded and broadcast live on air, he told it in the room that was absolutely packed full of professional comedians, and what's more important this was the first professional comedian to tell a joke publicly after the 9/11 attack a New York. What was more important is that for a lot of the comedians in the room his version of The aristocrats really was the first joke they had heard since the attack. And it was also a joke that you would never tell out loud when being paid by someone to tell jokes, it was a joke that was for the people in the room not for the people in TV Land, it was a signal that it was ok to laugh again and therefore ok to make other people laugh again. The aristocrats generally isn't a funny joke, that's why it's a, 'comedian's comedian's,' joke the challenge is to get your listener to laugh despitr telling them an old unfunny joke. Gilbert Gottfried took perfect advantage of comedies first rule. He told the joke that he knew would take the tension out of the room, by giving people who love to laugh, who have been dying to be able to laugh again the opportunity to do so he knew that he could get the biggest laugh he would ever get out of that joke from that crowd that night, and he was right. Is it funny to listen to now on a recording know, but he had the timing right that night, and TIMING! is the first rule of comedy. Which is why Gilbert Godfrey's performance of The aristocrats is the funniest version of the aristocrats.

[@skvaderarts7009]

"Keter, fromally Euclid." _Sees how long the video is._ Me: Well shit, this isn't going to end well...

[@mattderogatory4068]

Well Euclid does mean we don’t know how hard to contain, so it’s expected to change

[@matthewjones39]

@@mattderogatory4068 No, Euclid means it takes effort to contain but doesn’t take extreme amounts of resources and personnel.

[@RotcodFox]

One of the most interesting SCP articles I've ever read was basically a very poor explanation of whatever the SCP was, which slowly gets more incoherent and chaotic as it goes on. I don't remember what SCP it is, but it's about the length of a short book

[@RotcodFox]

@OccultLogic Yup! That's the one. Thank you for that. I'm still confused by 3999 to this day, which is why I love it

[@shiguriyamamo6730]

Was it that Apollion class?

[@RotcodFox]

@@shiguriyamamo6730 Yeah

[@theyhurax]

Poor researcher Talloran had one of the worst fates in-universe.

[@p1zystrat18]

@@theyhurax at least he took 3999 with him

[@LadyViscera]

This is probably the single most unsettling K class scenario

[@nowhereman6019]

Good ol' Metaphysician. RIP. This is by far the most disturbing SCP I've ever read.

[@deathpyre42]

What happened to metaphysician?

[@nowhereman6019]

@@deathpyre42 got banned from the wiki for forgetting to correct plagiarism (which was a sentence from a Wikipedia article).

[@deathpyre42]

@@nowhereman6019 Wow that is the absolute most arbitrary reason to ban someone, I hope he's moved onto a better platform or is working on an indie game or something. (I would purchase the hell out of hapsburg xcom)

[@duane7996]

@@deathpyre42 It's not arbitrary at all. Plagiarism (even legal plagarism from CC) needs to be checked for insanely carefully, and it isn't a standard you want to set.

[@thaliacrafts407]

@@deathpyre42 no, it's a perfectly good reason and vital to the continued existence of SCP. That's because due to the rules, everything you post can be freely used and even monetized by everyone else, as long as they use the same creative license. Imagine if something copyrighted snuck in and someone used it in a paid product? The consequences would be catastrophic.

[@guidomista2570]

Definitely one of the scariest scps I’ve read in recent memories. It reminds me a lot of the adults, which is already a great one.

[@katyb6009]

that was what it reminded me of as well!

[@thefinalcrusader4250]

4

[@anjetto1]

just a description of the rich

[@saxonharries9033]

Fantastic voice acting as always. You bring every SCP to life in a unique and thoroughly engaging way

[@Seypenni]

Your skill with 3D models has increased so much. The sculpting on this SCP is amazing. Excellent work!

[@THExRISER]

Always thought he commissioned the models, how many talents does this guy have?

[@angelischiel]

I always find it so invigorating when the narrative contains descriptions both horrifying and new to my synesthetic palette. I have to say that I truly enjoy your longer videos, they give time for the narrative to ripen and build an image of what those operatives came across. The thought of these creatures, their visage, and mentality, sends a shiver of unease down my spine. I truly enjoyed the narrative of this video, despite the fact that I now have the taste of lima beans caked on my tastebuds.

[@SSJFutureGohan62093]

Definitely. I’ve been diving down the SCP rabbit hole while at work. Usually, they’re like 3-12 minute videos of simple descriptions. This video took me on a 40 minute journey full of grotesque visuals and engrossed me in the narrative. My breathing picked up when the foundation soldiers had to hide from the dinner party…

[@gorlheck5574]

Lima beans ?

[@angelischiel]

@@gorlheck5574 I have synesthesia, evil has an aftertaste (or full-frontal assault, sometimes) of lima beans.

[@gorlheck5574]

@@angelischiel ohhhh

[@mahdiclark9158]

editing is phenomenal. thank you for the definitions of the more obscure words. And great voice acting! 🙏🏾

[@Archdarck]

Such a good SCP, perfect blend of Interesting History, Urban Legends and Lovecraftian Story elements And of course the voice acting is just superb

[@nicmanza4657]

not everything is lovecraftian you know

[@Lyraguy]

@@nicmanza4657 To be fair this SCP has elements similar to Lovecraft's ghouls, the underground race of scavengers featuring in a few of the books.

[@nicmanza4657]

@@Lyraguy yeah sure there's that specific set of creature mentionned in those specific stories that happen to be similar. But that's like saying this SCP has Bram-Stokerian elements because they operate vaguely simarely to vampires. That point is made even less shallow because at least some of the themes line up. There are no lovecraftian themes in this SCP

[@juanjosenavarra2116]

@@nicmanza4657 Except it's based in "The Lurking Fear", a HP Lovecraft story about an inbred cannibal family.

[@asherward3533]

@@nicmanza4657 I mean it might not count as classically lovcraftian, but Lovecraft did write a short-story about exactly this premise. The main character returns to his ancestral homeland to investigate the collapse of their dynasty in the middle ages and discovered all of them turned into mutant cannibals

[@kefkaZZZ]

This is the greatest version of the “We’re the Aristocrats!” Joke to ever exist.

[@mrpineapple3942]

I’ve never seen that joke lol

[@alexandrecharles5941]

@@mrpineapple3942 you're lucky

[@exactlybasically8603]

Whoever did the voice acting on the King should get a raise

[@anon123214]

There's quite a bit of human-related SCP's that the Plague Doctor could be searching for. Interesting.

[@thaliacrafts407]

Pretty sure even 049 would just look at them once and go "oh hell naw"

[@YukonHexsun]

I don't think this is the sickness but he'd definitely try to cure them. That would genuinely be an improvement though, so given the choice of his zombies or this thing with its mind, I'll take this. Christ, I'd let the doctor experiment on them if he wants. Go for it dude.

[@Nzg41]

@@YukonHexsun wonder if he speaks German in eddition to French

[@steves578]

@@thaliacrafts407 "take me back home, I no longer wish to be a doctor"

[@steves578]

@@YukonHexsun dude.. imagine these things as zombies, not to mention 049's zombies are hard to kill and infectious, it would just make them spread faster.

[@hotdog4260]

I often find the the format of SCP entries is a big part of their charm. Being drip fed information about containment protocals before you get more detailed information on the subjects themselves with broader context and records coming last. This SCP though I feel suffers in this format or should I say overcomes it? Starting with the Phyiscial description of 3288 really seems to almost the sterotypical monstous human creepypasta, correct technical medical terminolgy to describe the feautures of what is a pretty generic monster design but it's only when we get the context it gets good, really good. There is a reason 3288 look as they do and it all ties into the strong theme of aristocratic greed and inbreeding. A really good SCP that one might risk righting off early on if you were perousing the wiki. A great pick for The Volgun to highlight and really wonderful voice acting.

[@oderstein9368]

As someone from vienna, I really apprechiate the time they took to get all those small details, that are rarley even mentioned in other scp stories

[@ivanoflavender9523]

My goodness, the voice acting for the alpha was TERRIFYING and felt genuine! One of my favorite voices so far! Bravo!

[@bleachsundae1368]

Dr. Tobias has gigachad levels of patience lmao

[@mrpineapple3942]

Meanwhile Dr. Varga lol

[@PopoXReturnz]

This particular video was the first SCP-related anything I'd ever encountered. As i listened to it i was like "wait... This is fiction...?" How had i not known about the SCP-universe until 2021? Either way im glad my first experience was with The Volgun, and im always happy to re/listen whenever i see it suggested in my feed. Thanks for all your excellent work, @TheVolgun

[@andrewtippman]

"Keter; formerly Euclid" has to be one of the scariest three-word phrases one could hear.

[@halfdead4566]

No it's "Keter; formerly Safe" damn the GOC.

[@Karzahani742]

One of my favorites SCPs ever. This is the one that made me realize that the Foundation was not just a creepypasta thing, but that it was in fact, a treasure of weird and amazing literature.

[@TheLandOfDreams]

Does anyone else think that there's a very high chance Ferdinand the Cannibal is somehow related to these guys? Like the similarities between the two SCPs are uncanny

[@ireallyneedtherapy1126]

I can see it actually. The Habsburg family is where the Aristocrats came from and they had history in a lot of Europe, notably France. Fernand is mentioned to speak English with a heavy French accent and thinks himself king. Combining that with his monstrous traits, I think he could’ve been a member of the hive that simply got out and got separated

[@looneymar9153]

Rather unlikely, subjects put to the crosstest with him seemed to have known nothing of him, but it did end up in him becoming the alpha. Youd think such specimen would be considered among the very highest in their hierarchy and thus widely known even between distinct communities

[@hollystardust]

one of my absolute faves, glad to hear you covering it

[@dillasoul2228]

That rendering is grotesquely beautiful!!! Thank you for the cringe accurate 3288

[@avoughtf4u-4corsair19]

So basically these monsters are all just like Goblins from Goblin Slayer except politicians?

[@GageMason]

The fact that they based this on a real historical family and managed to incorporate their real copious amounts of inbreeding and deformities (notably the hapsburg jaw) is really neat to me.

[@crockstonyt]

Sigma 6-18 is an absolute chad, never forget his sacrifice

[@javiinkling695]

You could say he's a sigma male

[@Yandereiter]

@@javiinkling695 underrated comment

[@SuzetteLDay]

Excellent lecture. I really enjoyed the voices in the interviews. As usual I can drift off and imagine I am watching these monsters speaking. And this is one of the main reasons I dig your channel so much. The joy of transporting my imagination into your vids from everyday life even for just a little while is priceless to me. -(Well...that and I LOVE your voice!)

[@timothymoore8549]

I’ve always wondered why humans and their closest living relatives experience intense fear when they see something almost human but it isn’t. My little head cannon was that a hyper predatory hominid existed at one point and we just hung on to our fear of it just like our crazy fear response for snakes.

[@LethargicScientist]

It's likely so we can tell the difference between alive people, which are usually safe, and corpses, which can contain a myriad of diseases. In fiction I'm not sure lol.

[@Juanito_Pecados]

I would say that its more along the lines of the perception of "intent". We as humans rely heavily in body language (movements, facial expression, their relations to body morphology, etc.) to establish the intent and emotion of the entity we are dealing with. This is the reason why warpaints, war masks, and embelished helmets are so prevalent in our history, because its scary to deal with an entity wich intentions and emotions are a mistery. You cant react to it effectively, you cant predict it effectively and you cant stablish emotional conection effectively. Add to all this things like mithology and rationalization (why this entity wants to appear human?) and its no surprise why the brain identifies this things as threats.

[@AbrahamBaconham]

It's corpses. It is biologically advantageous for us to fear corpses.

[@Auzzymandias]

It could be because early humans lived alongside neanderthals, and most likely had conflict with them. They would've looked mostly like homo sapiens but were still noticeably different.

[@arfbark3924]

@@Auzzymandias As a descendant I will say while violent conflict may have occurred much less outright dangerous furniture breaking interactions were more common.

[@marcelgiller2528]

Ok but can we appreciate the shear bluntness and stone cold additude of Dr. "King" Moser in the first Interview.

[@MexicAnime]

It just hit me a year and a half later, that the aristocrats kind of sound like trolls of folklore. Large grotesque humanoid creatures that eat humans and are weak to sunlight.

[@MarchionRoTheEye]

And after witnessing the Alpha's display, the talent agent asked, "So what do you call yourselves?" And in flawless German, the alpha replied, "The Aristocrats"

[@BarelySentientBraincell]

That low frequency ambience makes it lowkey feel like my head spins from stress. Fucking brilliant!

[@lornbaker1083]

You skipped your anti memetic training didn't you. Maybe this will teach you to attend the class next time before you have another briefing by Miller.

[@orpheala]

This was very well written and acted. I feel disturbed and nauseous, well done.

[@Tokogawa100]

Its amazing how much TheVolgun improved, enjoyed every SPC reading so far, could and did listen to multiple hour long playlists whilst doing something else. Stay amazing

[@fish_and-chips]

This is the first SCP I ever saw, I’m glad you finally did a video on them.

[@faintduch6630]

“We do not eat humans, we eat Peasants” Good god that is... horrifically posh

[@craigh5236]

For those who don't know, the Hapsbergs was a infamous royal line that was very inbred and had a whole host of deformities.

[@jkfecke]

Including several of those mentioned here. They did their research.

[@mercury2157]

So basically the real world equivalent to the McPoyles

[@mrpineapple3942]

That Archduke Ferdinand driver guy doesn’t look deformed, unless that’s not the same Hapsbergs line

[@War_is_cool]

@@mrpineapple3942 it is the same family, it’s just that they decided that “baffling Christendom by continuing to live” was kinda bad so they stopped fucking their brothers and sisters

[@bobbemis8911]

@@mrpineapple3942 Hes Habsburg-Lothringen (Lorraine), and even that they have been detached from the inbreeding for years; The Spanish Habsburgs are the ones for which the incestuous reputation emerged, while the actual Austrian Habsburgs were never really inbred past the standards of the time

[@fountgarde]

This has to be the most elaborate and detailed “The Aristocats” joke, ever.

[@yukureimu8403]

If this was a thesis for your first SCP and there was a word quota required they had to pass for the description section, the definitions of the disorders definitely helped carried them on top.

[@ramirezthesilvite]

... and the producer says "And what is it you call this act?" To which the man says with a flourish, "THE ARISTOCRATS!"

[@PingMe23]

And then the man bit the producer's head off.

[@pale9819]

This just a straight up disturbing SCP especially since the Habsburg family did practice inbreeding. But at the same time I find it facinating.

[@jadenjerries2094]

cool crest of friendship bro

[@nightmarerex2035]

and rotshchilds and robenbarrens and the other fuckers 6th protesters should just identified as SCP foundation 3288 hunters.

[@tastychunks]

@@jadenjerries2094 nightmare swag

[@f.powell8724]

"Late Baroque early Rococo period" Seems my humanities class was good for something after all

[@Lyze]

Superb voice acting for The Emperor. Really captured the feel of the insanity and inhumanity of it.