SCP-000-J - Official SCP Sales Catalogue

[@justinmacdonald2102]

I genuinely expected this to end with the researcher flipping to a page with 096 on it and promptly being torn to shreds.

[@erubianwarlord8208]

il be honest i was half expecting them to do the one that steals any and all forms of info about its self and have hunter escape by throwing the catalog at it

[@lorekeeper685]

They probably skipped that page

[@sillysiblings4834]

13:43 i have a friend named charlie lol

[@Binglesquirk]

@@sillysiblings4834 same lol

[@dianavamd6710]

Price: Free

[@pugguy77]

My new rule: I see Dr. Bright, I click Dr. Bright.

[@Frostism]

yes

[@elagalili1614]

that is a great rule and I shall follow suit.

[@ImNotFunny541]

Same

[@swtorguy52]

Bright is fun indeed

[@ethzzexists]

Dr bright is my favorite scp, it looks cool and it also has a good sense of humor. 10/10(also that is talking about the amulet or whatever it is)

[@Justanotherpersonontheinternet]

Dr Bright is NOT allowed to sell any anomalies. Again.

[@usernameaeaeaea]

Marshall, carter and -dark- bright

[@Maximara]

This is not "our" Doctor Bright. You have to wonder about the sanity of the SCP organization who thinks selling this stuff is a good idea.

[@ultimapower6950]

@@Maximara maybe it was from the dimension where the SCP foundation was instead the SCP Corporation

[@Maximara]

​@@ultimapower6950 I doubt it. Even Marshall, Carter, and Dark decides that some SCPs are just too dangerous to have auctions on and much of this stuff is in that wheelhouse.

[@Maximara]

@@isaac922 Well there is that reality on the other side of SCP-6001.

[@electrobob992]

Fun Fact: This SCP also gives people access to SCPs that don't exist in the current timeline. Like the original SCP-340. AKA.. Insanity Candy.

[@sophieroberts3043]

What's 340 again? Sorry I forgot

[@ahitfan1captaina]

@@sophieroberts3043 Viral Rebreather Membrane

[@Scarletspiderofyoutube]

Wasnt 5000 in another timeline too?

[@mr_indie_fan]

Im assuming the original creator took the insanity candy page down or something, i honestly don't know why certain scps just disappear with no explanation

[@jayive34]

We call it 'meth'.

[@wafu6058]

As a lot of people might not know, -J in SCP stands for joke, and is not considered canon in the universe.

[@lorekeeper685]

Tecnicly nothing is canon

[@jok6r]

Technically nothing and everything is cannon and not cannon at the same time

[@DividedByZeero]

doesnt everybody just see 420-J as canon anyways

[@hierkommtdi3s0nne]

I CONSIDER EVERYTHING CANON

[@goober4347]

SCP-000-J implies the existence of SCP-999-J

[@neopolitan6918]

I love how it makes the most blood thirsty, vicious SCPs sound alright, but when they get to Hitler it's just like: "Yeah, just use him as a punching bag"

[@nikolasgoldsmith3276]

I think they’re just trying to get us to put our homework down and watch more scp videos Good job, it worked

[@steverogers7601]

Edgy

[@ellis7622]

@@steverogers7601 how the hell was that edgy?

[@steverogers7601]

@@ellis7622 don’t get emotional now.

[@aud2175]

[@thememeqween]

What.

[@hornet370]

"Books are evil, they are to be avoided at all costs." SCP Explained

[@ThrillSeeker3524]

I loved how SCP-500 had a ludicrous price tag but read "OUT OF STOCK"

[@memer-tn3nk]

damn everyone was trying to get rich just for the cure

[@ayoutubechannle4411]

@@memer-tn3nk Why not just buy 049, it is a lot cheaper and you can have a conversation with it

[@lordchaos3090]

@@ayoutubechannle4411 Dr. Bright, is that you, if yes, stop giving people suggestions about what to do if they ever get the book, also stop giving people a look into the book or giving other people the book and that's final, man, I think the SCP Foundation has to re-update the Rules for Dr. Bright.

[@YukariAkiyama]

Constantly out of stock but still super expensive? Sounds like GPU’s

[@ayoutubechannle4411]

@@lordchaos3090 What, nooooo nooooo I'm not dr bright, I'm dr brights evil twin

[@redacteddata]

I... the amount of breaches occuring both physically with SCP-000-J and memetically through this video... ...Lifted Veil scenarios aren't as big of a threat as we anticipated; apparently.

[@GregoryMom]

very funny thirteen. this reminds me of that… magazine… from earlier didn’t one of you burn it? the image doesn’t exist anymore gotta love golden lines like “Who the [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] designed a SCP-231 paternity test” and “Whoever photographed Able like that, we will miss you”

[@redacteddata]

@@GregoryMom Shining stars in an otherwise dim world haha.

[@pepitoelpachuco7754]

Can’t imagine Scp-682 reaction if sees one of the guards wearing a “I survived scp-682’s wrath shirt”

[@Jaxvidstar]

He would rage and attack to remedy that slogan.

[@Nightfire613]

Makes me think of that parallel universe mentioned in "Hole to Another Place," where there is an SCP Corporation, where they sell access to anomalies in a Marshall, Carter, and Dark esque fashion.

[@silentdreams4724]

Exactly what I thought!! Mostly likely came from there through some reality dimensional rift

[@Sabrina45688]

Simply this scp is fantastic hahaha! I can't imagine someone ordering like "hello I would like to order a 500 scp because I have a headache and a 682 to play with the children" it's just epic, I think if I could order some of there would be the calendar...

[@Artreo69]

Sorry but scp 500 is out of stock

[@helixsol7171]

"A 682 to play with the children"

[@mohammadsaleh1998]

* sry sir its out of stock and u will have to pay 99trillion Dollars to buy it if it was availible *

[@Its_Analyze]

Don't forget about 137. the perfect toy for any child

[@krabbi_patti]

Yes and can I get an 096 to test my makeup on? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

[@MrMementoMori]

So an anomalous catalog that sells SCP’s and Dr. Bright is involved? Interesting.

[@ThrillSeeker3524]

J SCP's are jokes implanted in the files, mainly

[@MrMementoMori]

@@ThrillSeeker3524 cool.

[@tigmonx]

You know how much of a problem there would be if as they're flipping through the pages through the different SCPs for sale they briefly flip past 096? Price: Free! Delivery: IMMEDIATE.

[@dragonfiresbirbs5819]

That's what I was thinking when they started to go into detail

[@sillysiblings4834]

Lol true timing i once got one at that exact time an-AHHHHHH

[@terratracy]

@@sillysiblings4834 dude? DUDE ARE YOU ALIVE? I don't think he's alive. 096 murdered him. CALL THE SCP FOUNDA-- AHHHHHHH I LOOKED AT IT

[@spirityt2192]

@@terratracy dude? Dude! Great now he’s dead too And I looked at it but I’m already a ghost and cant be killed so I should be fine

[@revoltkillallhumans5763]

Is this secretly dr.bright.and if it is can you let me buy amnestics

[@laraschroeder5195]

I love how SCP 447 still has a huge DONT USE ON DEAD BODIES sign despite this peppy, no knowledge of consequences magazine being what it is. Really shows just how horrible that anomaly is.

[@antoinlirious2305]

Anything and nothing can be an SCP at the same time it’s crazy Like literally the sun itself can be an SCP if it gets closer Very dangerous

[@ThrillSeeker3524]

Was not expecting what they did to SCP-136

[@NL7206]

Actually the sun is an SCP in that world

[@GG-lk4xf]

Yeah, i mean hell i think humanity was an scp at some point

[@MrLiesegang]

The Sun is an elder god

[@melatus9394]

you can say that humans are scp too

[@zeliardforty-two4692]

Wonder if this catalog is from the universe where the SCP foundation is capitalist? The fact you can still order from the book is disturbing … actually, can I borrow the book? Don’t worry it’s for research! Totally not going to make a few orders 👀

[@Pickled_Poet]

I feel SCP-6001 "Avalon" would have a catalogue of sorts available to the public for certain SCPs

[@ThrillSeeker3524]

@@Pickled_Poet maybe they do delivery for the infinite pizza box

[@fernadogonzalez2940]

@@ThrillSeeker3524 that would be nice

[@1261JAHO]

My thoughts exactly!

[@Lars_Ziah_Zawkian]

Its a catalog of OUR universe

[@miguelrocha6430]

If this channel actually made the merch at the end of this video, I'd buy it.

[@blackwatertv7018]

I thought they where advertising merch tbh

[@jonirequirelasagna7135]

They did advertise the scp 999 plushie

[@lemmymaster]

We didn't have joke scp's on this channel before. Great way to introduce it

[@SuperCrazyfin]

We've had a few.

[@Lunar994]

@@SuperCrazyfin which ones?

[@SuperCrazyfin]

@@Lunar994 "SCP-049 - Boiled, Scrambled and Fried - Plague Doctor Tale" is the video for "SCP-049-J". That's the only one i remember by heart.

[@Lunar994]

@@SuperCrazyfin Ah

[@WettSokks]

Hunter: books are evil Also Hunter: Good, looks like we are om the same page now Me: *Visible confusion*

[@Maximara]

Minor correction regarding 2:33 - *our* SCP Foundation doesn't produce a catalogue but one of the ones that puts stuff into SCP-1437 (the SCP *Corporation* ) likely does.

[@kevkevplays5662]

What is the Spc foundation

[@strongwiled1529]

@@kevkevplays5662 people studying SCPs

[@theluckygamer10]

@@strongwiled1529 no, that's the SCP Foundation. This is the SPC Foundation

[@strongwiled1529]

@@theluckygamer10 oh lol

[@placeholder_username9528]

@@kevkevplays5662 - Yeah, it’s shark punching center

[@jeepercreepers9]

If J SCPs are going to be covered now, I really hope that SCP-10101-J is covered, one of my favorite J SCPs

[@NerdeeBoi]

13:17 Can we appreciate that they got the official MLP images for this instead of making their own?

[@dogmadude1399]

I've been watching this channel for over a year now, I usually sleep to it. Anyone else do that?

[@ariculmer8302]

Every night

[@nw586]

The narrators voice is pretty relaxing I don't blame you

[@rosallis6182]

Dude yes, i put the 3 hr compilations they made and have the wildest dreams, do recomend 10/10👌

[@dogmadude1399]

@@rosallis6182 Beat you to it already. I don't know if there's a video of theirs I - haven't - seen...

[@AGTFrost]

Same

[@geessaess1707]

Wait until an Anomalous KZbin video, the one that never ends and you can’t stop watching or fast forward.

[@ireneparkin3360]

SCP Explained Narrator:- "You're watching some wholesome videos on KZbin." Me:- "Especially if it's narrated by Hunter." SCP Explained Narrator:- *laughs* Me:- 😨😱

[@pamsinclair967]

Uuuuuuu

[@ireneparkin3360]

@@pamsinclair967 ?!?

[@bananafromhell]

EE EE

[@ireneparkin3360]

Hunter has a laugh that can make me feel a little scared.

[@LordDoom10]

Yes. The Joke SCPs. I'm hoping you guys are having fun with these.

[@CeoOfThe4thDimension]

Yes 🤣 super mega ebola

[@NotMyRealName6]

Dr. Bright is not allowed to stop Foundation personnel for using SCP-000-J to order SCP-999, as long as said personnel return him when they're done playing with him. The little guy loves spending time with everyone, and he's one of the only living SCP objects we know will suffer no ill effects from shipment. He is also the _only_ SCP object Dr. Bright is allowed to encourage people to order.

[@matthewcrowder377]

I love the "-j" scp files, the best one, in my opinion is scp-420-j. There are plenty of testing files too

[@waynetastic1746]

_"It's that books are evil and not to be trusted..."_ Oh God, what have you done?? I think I can hear my Christian mother sprinting menacingly towards me in the distance 😰

[@Sir_Lucas]

Answer if you are still alive If you're not then Amen

[@JoThNoMi]

I think Amen

[@superblue-Bc6re]

Go broly go go !

[@MetalAcrean]

"When you come back from SCP-1230 you'll have lost all your love for life." Jokes on you, I already lost that.

[@Theblackd1b]

Low-key somebody should make a book that shows the stats of all the known scps

[@lunaticafuntimefoxy]

something like trading cards?

[@PopcornTB]

This feels like an elaborate video plan to start a merch line of some kind but ultimately abandoned as an idea and refurbished to be an actually video.

[@NormalHumanLikeYou]

Well they sell 049 and 999 plushies so I guess it wasn't fully abandoned

[@rizegreymon4084]

SCP Explained: If our time with the SCP Foundation has taught us anything, it's that books are evil and not to be trusted. Me (After reading my entire Advanced Statistics book for class): AMEN!!!

[@toast7257]

one thing i learned from reading scp is that most books are evil and i'm never reading one in my entire life anymore

[@InternalRevenueService69]

wait until 096 shows up here. This one is on us,for it delivers itself to you if you have even a moment of of your time to look. People are dying for this one too!

[@chilidog2469]

I’ll be honest, if this were real I’d probably buy a bunch of stuff from it. Would love a desk figurine of 682

[@ARandomBacon-p7r]

11:45 people who are simping will love to see this unblurred

[@roykennedy]

2:32 true, but the SCP foundation DOES produce manga and merchandise!

[@snifey7694]

Imagine this is a unheard of department for marketing and the catalogue is their attempts for budget after some sort of SK-class scenario and somehow survived. Wait if the marketing team exist somewhere, then this channel is the Media entertainment department

[@anon.9303]

sk-class is dominance shift

[@azraelimmortal972]

While this is a joke SCP, I have a bit of a headcanon for it It was made by Marshell Cater & Dark Limited as an April Fools prank and sent it to the foundation just to get back at them for messing with their business. Think of it as a weird form of psychological warfare

[@artistwithouttalent]

That was my HC as well, but someone else suggested that it might have come through SCP-1437 from the reality with the SCP Corporation.

[@lockskelington314]

When you can't tell if the channel is covering an SCP or advertising merch.

[@Zeph39]

I love this channel, I've been watching for about 2 years now :)

[@thomasthenuke4546]

Been watching since it was first made and just came back after some time and I’m so happy i found it again

[@nethercrocodile5859]

I came 1 year ago because i saw 173.

[@daviscalledfred]

I'm surprised how incredibly useful and definitely not dangerous many of the SCPs are

[@robloxpacman]

this video makes being so close feel so fun and exciting

[@omegon303_]

I love your videos! I learned so much from this channel about SCP Universe!

[@bigbeans202]

Me too this channel is awesome

[@Esomres]

The fact that this isn't brights fault is honestly shocking.

[@jaksilver3656]

"Hello, yes, I'll take one Mr. Deeds bell, and one Tickle Monster, please."

[@thewayitis77]

I really like the voice you used for this episode! Nice job hunter!

[@beetle.fleetle.1582]

I’m showing this to my school, thank you so much. I will never read a book again!

[@BadNameJackson]

A lot of the SCP's in the magazine are written in ways that make them seem better then they are. Some actually kill people but are written to just say the slight benefits of the SCP's.

[@akramgimmini8165]

13:04 I see what you did there, Hunter 😉

[@vietinternational5746]

This could've been the perfect mercy advertisement

[@SilverFoxeGames]

SCP 1230: makes people lose their list for life because it can’t measure up to fiction me: Maybe i already read that book then

[@SamuelDoesntExist]

Same

[@mpcrauzer]

Not the only one budy

[@brettnelson7048]

This one was certainly a doozy. And now that I think about it I haven't really touched any book in months.

[@sihyunkim7721]

Sees SCP-999 in the magazine I will take your entire stock!

[@basilevergarden5668]

I want that book that lets you hypnotize people. I get to have people clean, cook, do my homework, etc.

[@lliy_andscarlet1226]

On the cover of this video Dr. Bright looks like he saying I WANT THOSE PLUSHIES

[@lunaticafuntimefoxy]

I also want those stuffed animals, mainly the one with scp-682

[@ahrifangirl]

I'm very happy that you are doing scp-Js now! I am a huge fan of SCP-666 1/2-J! Of course, there is a lot of toilet humor in that article so, if that's not your cup of tea don't go reading it

[@geardog24]

9:36 "Sick of video games?" Nope. Next page.

[@xanderbordendoescrappystuf8874]

I would genuinely LOVE of you made or someone else made this a physical product as this seems just SO COOL! Not that you would have to include any phone numbers or ship any crap in catalog or anything, the catalog itself would be just amazing enough.

[@thelivingglitch1371]

Dammit, Spamton’s gotten influence into the Foundationverse. …I’ll take an order of 085, though. Cassy needs a friend.

[@robert.7230]

Has no one thought of the idea that this is just scp explained but more capitalist and on a magazine?

[@geardog24]

I can already see thousands of orders for the Mannequin and the Naked Doll.

[@theotherohlourdespadua1131]

I mean I want my very own SCP-1230...

[@pulsefel9210]

step 1: buy nerfing gun step 2: fire at ground step 3: proudly announce yourself as the king of mars for the time you have left alive

[@asian_kid123]

12:49 Im polish and this is what I wanted finally I would take your entire stock

[@dangdart3236]

“Get your bigass indestructible lizard today!”

[@inquisition3173]

SCP-999 is one my absolute favorite things. I want to order one soooooo bad.

[@Ittlibawbisb]

The scariest scp is: scp 297, look up if your a fan of horror, but not if your a normal person. You can look it up if your a normal person, but it’s scary

[@Tatsu4242]

Things Dr Bright is not allowed to do: LOOK AT SCP OOO-J

[@AlterationA]

I want to see more SCP-J entries. The original articles are already fun, but I love this even more

[@yeetuszilla1663]

15:50 Unfortunately... This type of stuff exists And I want to breach the containment of 123 knowing that

[@AFriend21]

Thanks!

[@rvpairofdicethewanderer2383]

Despite being a Joke SCP, I find the idea of something being aware of all other SCPs to the point it makes a catalog of them with the idea of selling them terrifying. Also, is SCP-136 drawn as Sexy Jutsu Naruto? XD

[@Nameless-ln5mr]

I find it horrifying to imagine ANYTHING that can summon hostile anomalies. And that… THING may be able to call forth ALL OF THEM!

[@ferretlord8202]

this is like a series of infomercials

[@mlgbrogaming7719]

Sir Marshall: Well Goddamnit who leaked our latest issue?

[@soup9242]

Imagine he checks the publishing information and sees it was published by the Serpent’s Hand.

[@maestrulgamer9695]

8:16-So 055 is yellow! Now we got more info about it!

[@Phoenix_Skel]

Well FINALLY the scp foundation is beginning to realize if you tell everyone on KZbin about your existence, then your not a SECRET foundation

[@dr_doritotf2305]

0:04 me who just read Fahrenheit 451: something’s wrong I can feel it

[@matchedpowerofthesun]

If the written word is evil, no wonder I underwent my fifth villain arc while reading Metal Gear fanfiction

[@anonymousmonkey9491]

personally I'd order a 682 and then monitor the lizard to see how the folks behind the catalog plan to safely transport the thing as inspiration for containment measures...or I could end up with 2 of those but hey...it's worth it right?

[@brokentoaster999]

Nobody gonna talk about the fact that the cover for the Dr. Clef song disc is the only image where Dr. Clef has a human head?

[@Solesteam]

7:14 The utopian universe SCP foundation did something similar and it turned out fine, 173's life long desire was fulfilled, he has no reason to snap necks even if he isn't being watched for a few minutes because he can rest assured he will be admired for generations.

[@justinalicea1590]

That's THEIR SCP-173. Much like how their SCP-682 has an entire species to its name, something evidently missing from the SCP Foundation we normally read from, it's doubtful that the one we know would be so kind. After all, that same world denotes that technology has its own soul, yet even the Church of the Broken God doesn't dabble in such thoughts. They most certainly would have objections to the idea that the robotic hand they want to replace their organic one with has an independent soul that might have its own wishes.

[@Solesteam]

@@justinalicea1590 oh...

[@gagekelley5047]

Anyone realize the reference when he said "everything is awesome when you have your hands on living lego!" That's the song from the Lego movie.

[@thunderstudent]

Is it odd that I kind of want the “I survived 682’s wrath!” T-shirt or the Abel action figure? Is there an SHF 6 inch scale version of the Abel figure? Is there a Cain or Shy Guy figure?

[@paradox461.]

I was relieved when there was no scp 018

[@Dr.C.Shadow]

SCP-049-J and SCP-729-J are hilarious.

[@funnyzac2079]

my new favorite scp

[@bright3658]

This book is like: Are you ofter tire?do you need to rest?to have peace and calm?Buy 2935 to make anything around you calm and silent. Do you have enemies?do you want to do something terrible to them?in limeted edition scp 2718. Also we sell god

[@Emberixz]

You should actually try to make a catalog like this to sell. I’m sure fans would love to buy it.

[@i.r.3016]

11:38 that Naruto reference tho 😭

[@Nieliuxus]

15:50 Now I want to know what this calendar features

[@sebco223]

You should made the stuff near the end IRL merch EG: The action figure and "I survived 682" shirt.

[@quantumtabbylargo7457]

This is honestly hillarious.

[@AbsurdlyLudicrous724]

tbh, i can imagine that actually being kind of useful. if the SCP disappears from their containment when ordered... what about ordering an SCP who broke containment to stick them back in? let THEM recontain it. lol. Ah, too bad for the SCP foundation that it's a joke SCP.

[@ryangolden2280]

Well it wouldn’t be helpful if there is more then one

[@LuckyArceus]

I bet this whole catalogue was made by dr. Bright as some sort of sick practical joke.

[@MejuriPlays]

Does anyone else kinda want to see the "Girls of SCP" calendar? Cause uh...i do. For science, of course.

[@orchNEStra]

Guaranteed to require some Keter class containment for your loins!

[@lx5323]

This video: talking about how KZbin and screens can be trusted more than books. SCP-079: are you sure about that