Scumbag Player Demands Sex After DnD | r/rpghorrorstories

[@shadiafifi54]

This episode had a disturbing amount of anti-dog moments. Hope you're okay after this, Doge.

[@xaldrortenderofthevats8948]

Thought I was watching Jojo

[@ShinyAvalon]

The DM should have totally fudged the roll to let the characters and pug mount escape the ship. Only a few seconds would allow it. Insane or malicious actions from a new guest player should NEVER be allowed to permanently destroy something important in a long-running campaign.

[@7thsealord888]

Absolute agreement. Comes to that, if someone is being THAT disruptive, don't even roll. Just rule that the individual has suddenly choked on a chicken bone and died, or was hit by lightning, or spontaneously self-combusted, or whatever. Sorry, no saving roll, you're done. Bye-bye. Not something any DM should make a habit of, but entirely justifiable here.

[@conorstabler6093]

I agree as well. This sounds like a campaign ruining action that the dude pulled. I know the party don't seem to be fans of reconning but, this is the perfect situation for it.

[@fleacythesheepgirl]

That’s exactly what I said! Unless you’re running a known meat grinder it’s about FUN.

[@sandpiperr]

Honestly, the whole party should just pretend that session never happened. I know they had a no-retcon rule, but they should make an exception this time because a one-time guest player, who's also a creep, shouldn't be allowed to derail an entire campaign.

[@ShinyAvalon]

@@sandpiperr - That makes sense. If nothing else, the deaths should have been retconned.

[@tsifirakiehl4250]

First story: OP, why are you engaged to this guy? I’m not saying you should dump him over a game, of course, but you don’t seem to like him very much. Why do you want to marry him if you think he’s a dick? Second story: Yeah, ending that campaign is the right choice. Drop those players like hot potatoes, OP; they‘re jerks and you can do better. Third story: OP and Doge summed up how awful Scully was pretty well, so my ranting about it would be unnecessary. Instead, I would advise Jake, if he ever reads this, to start the next session by having the party wake up from the collective nightmare they’d been having about a perverted wizard murdering the bard and dire pug.

[@GarkKahn]

I think the same about the first one, why are you with a person you're making clear to everyone else you despise?

[@AuntLoopy123]

I agree on all counts. The group said that nothing would be RANDOMLY retconned, but this REALLY needs to be retconned. It was a nightmare, for sure. And Diaz was trying to celebrate her BIRTHDAY, and had the whole game ruined. Nope. Definitely a collective dream. In fact, I'd have "Scully" reappear as a NPC, so that the party can AVOID THEM, taking the dream as a warning against a low-level evil jerk.

[@SushiKatGamer]

Hi, I'm the DM from the first story. Firstly, I don't have any problems with my fiance, in fact, I would consider him to be one of the most kind, caring and supportive people I've ever met. That doesn't change the fact that he can be a bit of a dick, however, his dickishness comes in the form of teasing or minor irritations, and friendly jibes and insults (he's french and I am british, about 10% of our conversations has some form of friendly insult tied to it regarding our nations' shared history or the culture differences between the two nations), he'll wind you up up until the point where you're frustrated but still laughing, the moment you're not laughing, it's not fun for him anymore so he'll stop. He's a dick because of his humour, but he wouldn't screw anyone over, he doesn't understand why anyone would put another in a position be seriously harmed by you being malicious towards them. A small update about this scenario and Dick's thoughts on it as we (Gary, my fiance and I) we're talking about it recently: Dick admitted that, while he didn't regret his actions here because everyone was laughing about it at the time, had he of known what the actual extent of consequences could have been, he wouldn't have got Gary to feed the kid human. So, just because I refer to him as a dick doesn't mean I dislike him, quite the opposite: He is a dick, but he is my dick, he keeps me laughing more than I ever have before and I love him dearly.

[@tsifirakiehl4250]

@SushiKatGamer Oh, I really misinterpreted the tone of your post! Sorry about that.

[@SushiKatGamer]

@@tsifirakiehl4250 Lol it's fine. I do spend the whole post going "he's a dick" so I understand the misinterpretation. Where I grew up, the people I grew up around, calling someone a dick isn't an insult, it's used a lot more like "my friend here is a dick, don't pay them much mind when they try to wind you up." It's sometimes a little more difficult to separate that kind of upbringing and mentality and write things in a way that wouldn't be misinterpreted because other's didn't necessarily grow up with that kind of downplayed language. :)

[@Josku2411]

Honestly...the retcon rule in the last story..that would not be a random retcon it's undoing hurt done but an abuser

[@AuntLoopy123]

Did anyone else laugh in sheer delight a the "dire pug mount"? ADORABLE! Nope, in this case, they should have retconned the entire session. It never happened. The next session has cake and dinner and singing happy birthday to Diaz, and HeWhoShallNotBeNamed is NEVER mentioned again at that table. Outside the game? OK, but not at that table. Seriously, "I didn't know they were there," doesn't cut it, because the team did PLAN for them to go there, right? Anyway, the DM could have said, "Your fireball fizzles, and you lose the spell slot," simply to prevent the inevitable death of the birthday girl. Followed by, "WE DO NOT DO CHARACTER VERSUS CHARACTER VIOLENCE HERE. I don't CARE if it is what your character would do. I simply will not allow it. Now, think of another action, or forfeit your turn." Yeah, you ARE allowed to stop a player from making a mess. "Player agency" is not complete free reign.

[@valivali8104]

Or ask "why did you create character which is that reckless and stupid?"

[@iank472]

I wholeheartedly agree with Doge. DMs are playing a game too. They should be having fun. If you are DMing and not enjoying yourself change how you are running or stop DMing. Also if you are a player try and remember it's much less fun for most DMs if you constantly work against everything your DM is trying to set up and make in the setting.

[@DT4yg0]

I notice one of the common trends in these horrorstories is that is almost always something very sexual. Like goddamn the horny just cannot be escaped from anywhere.

[@shadiafifi54]

Humans are by nature a very sexual species. It's just the creeps don't know where the boundaries are.

[@DnDDoge]

Seems to be one of the underlying themes.

[@dragowolfraven3806]

Yep.

[@fduranthesee]

incel weeb neckbeard bigot furry edgelord mary sue and other buzzwords like that get tossed-around _alot_ , what is up w/ the D&D community? is it really that many "incel neckbeard bigot" etc people out there in the world, or is it chronically-online people finally touching some grass and meeting up w/ people and then the person they meet-up-with does/says/thinks something they don't like? i feel like it's the latter, or if there are real people like that, then the stories are kinda exaggerated and dramatized to sound SpOoKy

[@sandpiperr]

One can be horny without being a creep and an abuser. It's all about understanding time and place and when to keep it to yourself.

[@SushiKatGamer]

I'm the DM from the first story, there a couple things that I should clarify regarding it because I've seen some comments and questions. Firstly, I really should have mentioned in the original post that we were playing 3.5e and not 5e, and we were playing with very few homebrew rules because both Dick and Gary were new players. Dick having played 1 session before this game, and this being Gary's first. 3.5 dictates that ALL paladins are Lawful Good. Gary's character was also literally a King Arthur knock off. I have no problems with that, especially with it being his first ttrpg, he should play something that he feels comfortable with. I'm only pointing it out because of the number of "but evil god have evil paladins" comments I've seen, even his character concept (outside of being a paladin doing an action his God didn't agree with) was contrary to feeding people to people. I don't know why the fact that they had rations wasn't brought up, but once the idea of "we have meat here, might as well not let it go to waste" was imbedded in Gary's head, rations just didn't seem to factor into his decision even when it was mentioned. Dick made a decently logical argument for why they should use the already butchered meat in the pantry and it kind of became a settled and done deal. There was also animals outside that could have been butchered and used so human meat wasn't used if they didn't want to use their own rations. I think it mostly came down to the fact that Dick had made a decent argument for using the "already provided" meat. As for the consequences being given in game. Things like how my players want me to handle letting them know that what they're doing might not be a good idea is something I tend to cover in session 0. Very few of my players (including these two) actually want me to pause the game and explain what the consequences could be, opting for a much more generic "are you really sure?" and then explaining the consequences afterwards method. If, on the very rare occasion, one of my players does something so bad that I would have had to have given them some horrific consequence, I do pause the game and explain why they shouldn't do their next action. This wasn't that, the consequences were very minor in the grand scheme of things, he had a couple core but not class breaking abilities restricted for a week in game (amounting to 2 combat encounters, one scripted and one random). So, while it was a consequence and he said it kind of sucked not to have those abilities, it really didn't hurt how he played or used his character during that time. visceral One final thing, I love my fiancé. He's a dick, he'll wind you up and be frustrating and you'll occasionally look at him like "you really just did/said that?" But his actions are all done with a wink and a smile and it's not possible to look at his actions or what he says and go "he means ill intent". He'll have you laughing as you put your head in your hands, the words "Oh FFS!" a grimace between chuckles. He's a dick because he'll wind you up and you'll feel better while he's doing it. He's not an a-hole, and that's the difference. An a-hole does it for their own gratification, without ever considering how you feel and how what they say or do will affect you because you don't matter to them beyond what you can do for them. Someone like my fiancé wouldn't say or do the things an a-hole would because they do care about how it affects you and while he wants to tease and provoke, he wants to do it in a way that makes you laugh and feel good. He doesn't want to hurt you and feels genuinely bad if he ever does. The title of my story was click bait, had he actually screwed over the paladin, he would have had a very big problem with it and would have done everything to fix the situation, up to and including arguing for a retcon and changing his actions in game so the paladin is either less or not impacted at all by it. As it stood, Gary was fine with the consequences so no calls for a change in actions were made. I called him "Dick" in the story because he was kind of a dick in the story, not because he's the worst ever and I hate him or that I want to imply that I don't like him and want to break up. It's simply "In this story, he was a bit of a dick to someone else, caused some mild negative consequences, made me put my head in my hands but we all had fun anyway." It really is as nuanced as it sounds and is really not a call of "I don't like my partner" which more than a few people seem to imply based purely on the use of a single word. Anyway, I hope this rather long response answers some questions or comments made.

[@Skylord_F]

Bruh that first story, that's how people turn into ghouls for gods sake.

[@belgarath6388]

Going to do a umm actually moment here so bear with me. Tasting the flesh of other humans may be one of the theories behind ghouls in Dnd but it haven't exactly been proven. However what's proven is that people who were attacked by ghouls contracted ghoul fever and consequently died from it would be raised as ghouls themselves.

[@Izrek]

Cannibalism turns people to ghouls

[@MyLittlePonyTheater]

Regarding the first story, I'm pretty sure everyone has the Breaking Your Oath thing wrong for 5e. Here's the passage on page 86: "If a paladin willfully violates his or her oath and shows no sign of repentance, the consequences can be more serious. At the DM's discretion, an impenitent paladin might be forced to abandon this class and adopt another, or perhaps to take the Oathbreaker paladin option that appears in the Dungeon Master's Guide." They don't just lose their powers, and they never just lose specific powers in random amounts. They either convert to another class, or swap their subclass with Oathbreaker from the DMG. That's assuming they don't choose to seek absolution, however. There's a good reason for this, too - it makes sure that, while there is a punishment, players who choose to break their oaths don't just wind up with a dead character. It would completely strip their player agency that way, and we have examples in Forgotten Realms lore of oathbreaking paladins who are ridiculously strong.

[@sentientbottlecap]

Wow, that last story. Talk about an irl mustache twirling villain.

[@marclytle644]

Paladin feeds human meat to another human. *Evil god smiles* Human meat is from kids parents *Evil god laughs harder* "Good... good... With each passing moment you become more my servant!" Remember, even dark gods have champions.

[@SushiKatGamer]

Not in 3.5e, all Paladins are LG alignment according to the books (We were playing 3.5e, not 5e). I took away a lot of restrictions regarding things like that because it didn't make sense to me, but yeah, if you want to play a Paladin in 3.5e, you're Lawful Good.

[@stefankroon4615]

5e also has a passage that names "Paladins" as a Lawful Good monolith. I believe it's in the chapter on alignment in either the DMG or the PHB.

[@Grandosco]

Absolutely having dire pugs (and other doggo breeds) in my next game. Why haven’t I heard/thought of this before!?

[@natashaallen9929]

I can't help but imagine goblin raiders riding dire rabid Chihuahuas

[@stefankroon4615]

Dire Welsh Corgi...

[@AuntLoopy123]

As Story 2 was ending, I was fully expecting to cut away to the Doge with a Photoshop job of making his eyes bigger than his head. "Killing and eating the dog?!" More realistic, and definitely appropriate. I just wish I'd had a mirror at the moment to see how big my eyes got, in real life. And I'm a cat person! But seriously, those players are HORRIBLE!

[@Izrek]

Player: "My character dont know that" DM: "But you know that!"

[@TheRPGNerd]

It's good to see someone else point out that polyamory =/= "slutty" I'm polyam and ppl assume that A LOT. I've had ppl tell me I deserved to be cheated on because I'm polyam (yes, it can happen, everyone needs to know about who you're dating buddy.) Hate that guy, hope he breaks his foot.

[@patjacksonpodium]

Man, I'm glad I'm not polyamorous. Every person I've met who is in one just seems to attract drama BS like flies on crap as a direct result of it. I'm of the opinion at this point that many people in a relationship like that aren't really poly, it's just that one person doesn't want to be tied down sexually and other person just goes along with it because they don't want to risk losing their S/O. Maybe I'm wrong but that's the way I've seen it play out most often.

[@unluckyone1655]

I have seen both positive and negative poly relationships. One is one of my aunts with her husband and their girlfriend. They all seem very happy and close. Another example is a buddy of ours who's relationship was just like you described. He agreed to being poly because his wife wanted to sleep with whomever, and get away with it. The relationship only survived less than a year afterward. Either way, definitely be careful when dating someone in a poly relationship.

[@Geth-Who]

You are in fact wrong. Depending, of course, on one's definition of 'many'. It's absolutely a minority, but a small fraction of a huge number is still objectively sizeable, so.

[@catandrobbyflores]

Yeah it just gives license to cheat for free.

[@Jermbot15]

I wouldn't be surprised if the average amount of relationship drama is higher in polyamorous relationships. If only because of the larger number of people involved.

[@TheRPGNerd]

... are you blaming someone for their partner being sexually and emotionally abusive because they're polyam? That's like saying someone's "asking for drama" because theyre gay and their boyfriend abused them. What the actual fuck is wrong with you?

[@tenchraven]

That fourth is a nightmare. The whole polywhatever attracts creeps like flies to a crap bucket, but it doesn't excuse the predator. Book? I'd rather throw HIM into traffic. Shame on the GM for not reacting if he noticed what the creep was doing, double shame if he didn't notice his WIFE was uncomfortable. Ditto for the wife's boyfriend. Why was this creep able to walk out of the house? And bringing a what amounts to a blind date to a friend's birthday, that's just tacky; doubly so since it got their PC killed. Seriously, keep your kinks away from the table.

[@kyletucker3811]

Being polyamourous isn't a kink dude. It's a life style, and just like with any dating, whether they get along with your friends is one of the first things you do.

[@katieee4915]

Poly kink? Lmao Should monogamous people keep their monogamous kink away from the table too? Only ace people allowed!!

[@HardlyBardly]

Okay, there was a farm, which probably had a cow. How did the paladin make the leap from "hey, we could probably milk a cow for the baby" to "Alright, you're getting the Hannibal Lecter diet, kid"? I'm sorry, that's just so funny to me XD

[@SushiKatGamer]

Dick made a pretty decent argument for why they shouldn't let the "pre-prepared meat" go to waste, after that, any mention of animals to butcher or using their rations just stopped being a factor, even when they were mentioned. Once he made his points, feeding the kid a nice, bloody manwich because the action that was going to happen, regardless of what I said. The three of us have laughed and joked about this first whole campaign since. Those two were bad influences on each other, and I'm genuinely surprised that Dick didn't end up with a CE alignment based on some of the plans he made (he was CN in game) or that Gary didn't end up actually losing all his class abilities and having to do a redemption quest later because of some of the shenanigans they got up to. Session 1 should have been a warning to me, but it really was one of the funnier games I've ran, the serious tone I tried to set got thrown out about the middle of session 2 when Dick's character ended up in women's underwear, trying to distract a Priest. (I am actually the DM from the first story lol)

[@unluckyone1655]

Honestly nothing wrong with dropping the campaign if your players are going to be that disrespectful. Personally I don't get murderhobos. Like it I just wanted to destroy things and cause chaos, I'd play a video game where I can watch the destruction in real time

[@vortega472]

Get that Ziggy a string - Stat! No to eating the dog, I will get John Wick on their ass. Horrible scumbag jerk, but the 99 reference...toint; noooooooooooice. Ah, one last beautiful kitty to help us with the rest of our day.

[@mentalrebllion1270]

I wouldn’t consider it a horror story necessarily but our group recently did a vibe check and review session 0 between the session that prompted it and the next after it. This is because our wizard burned alive some bounty hunters in the employee of the corrupt local rich people and had been bullying the peasants and throwing around their weight and harassing them. Enough that if we had left them in the custody of those people, that they might have just killed them themselves. After getting the information from them, this was when the wizard did it. I specifically said my character didn’t mind, just walked over nearby and grabbed a few tarps to cover the body before going through the possessions to see if there was anything else that had been missed (not looking for loot but information). Our two new players that had joined that session were kinda shocked. So we vibe checked and each all checked in with each other. We all explained the pov of our characters and their reaction to such a thing. I also explained that our characters are aware they committed a war crime, but, while the other player’s characters weren’t aware of this, that it had, in game time, only been three days since they escaped that. Once we explained the situation the new players were more comfortable but made it clear where their limits were and both I and the Wizard player promised to keep that in mind. In the end, we opted not to retcon anything with the dm regarding this and actually play it out. We had our characters also talk it out and lay their ground rules and comfort zones to the party. We had our characters (wizard and I) explain our reasoning and story. Our characters explaining that we realized the morality being horrible but also that we didn’t want to take risks with those bounty hunters getting loose and passing the information on. And after explaining what all happened to us before the new ones had joined us, well they agreed to help us still and we all made amends. We are still roleplaying the awkwardness and the solidarity me and the Wizard have, but that’s because our characters are from the same hometown, had left it only 3 days ago and it was a war zone and they were technically refugees, and also just nearly watched each other die in the last few fights we were in. Our characters are a touch codependent right now. But yeah, the new players are very nicely weaving themselves in. Our characters have no resentment towards them and are willing to make a change. They do WANT to be better people. They are just more than a touch fearfully, and thus frantic and go a little insane, when threatened with the loss of those they care about. So we basically were roleplaying out the overreaction to being attacked out of nowhere for no reason by those bounty hunters and then the consequences. It’s led to some amazing roleplaying and I enjoy it. Actually, one of the story arcs I wanted to play through for my character was the ptsd he has. My character in particular was already a refugee once before, before he settled down in his new home town I mean, the one he shares with the wizard. He has taken a lot of students in that time (he is a very long lived race) and one of those was the wizard, who he watched grow up. So for my character, he is protective and fearful, and frankly, been through all this before, but still it just reopens old wounds over and over again. He is tired and burnt out from it. He wants to feel better though and he is self aware enough to try so that’s what I roleplay. But yeah, the ptsd was baked into my character upon creation. I’m kinda glad we have been able to get that in the open and actually tackle it to some degree. Oh… right. There is one fun thing. One of those new characters? Yeah she is looking for her dad. Her dad? Is the reason my character became a refugee in the first place. Lol this moment is definitely amazing foreshadowing, except it won’t be the Wizard going too far. (Yes that player and I discussed it and included the dm for it). But anyway, I await to see how things go before that confrontation, because make no mistake, there will be. Dm has confirmed that much, and that player and I know. Kinda can’t wait to see how the other two react to that revelation. I want to see who might try and stop my character before he tries to attack, other than the player in the know I mean. I will definitely be giving hints along the way and both of us will. Who knows, maybe they will solve it before we ever meet? It’s gonna be fun though.

[@mentalrebllion1270]

Update: The wizard perma-died last session. Got oneshot killed.

[@psi_feelingokay9784]

Did anyone else notice OP on the last story made the names based off Brooklyn 99?

[@Stardweller1]

I understand their agreement not to retcon sessions, but I think they would’ve been completely justified in making an exception here.

[@KentaroMiyamoto21]

"Incel metronome". That's an unusual combination of words.

[@dragowolfraven3806]

Good morning everyone. Wow so cannibalism in the first story and a perverted scumbag in the last one. Dick & Scully are a holes. With the Scully story not only was he a creep but he seemed to be a psycho in & out of game too. Just because you are invited does not mean you are entitled to sex.

[@SushiKatGamer]

Being the DM from the first story, Dick is a dick, I wouldn't deny that and neither would he, but he's not actually an a-hole. Dick does things that makes you laugh while you put your head in your hands and exclaim "Oh FFS!" but he doesn't do things to actively screw you over, put you down or make you feel bad about things, for instance in the scenario in the story, had I of been cruel to Gary (because it would have been cruel for me to give him the full repercussions of pissing off a God), Dick's response would have been "nah that's not happening, I change my action." I know this because when I explained the repercussions, Dick's response was "Crap, are you ok with that?" Out of the game. He has said since that he doesn't regret his actions because everyone did enjoy the game and continued on with it, it didn't harm the fun or bring negativity to the game, but he has also said that he will consider the potential ramifications of actions like that one in the future. Ergo, Dick is a dick, but not an a-hole.

[@dragowolfraven3806]

Thanks for clearing that up.😊

[@heatherharrison264]

That last story makes me glad that I stick to single player video games. If I join a D&D game, it will be under the condition that no sexual stuff will be included. I simply don't trust people to handle it appropriately. It's even worse that the sexual stuff in this one included real life creepiness. I see the point of not wanting to retcon games in which something unfortunate happens since coming back from a major setback can be a good story, but having a guest come in and completely ruin everything would seem to be a reasonable exception. Just write off the entire session as a bad dream inserted into every character's mind by a chaotic evil trickster god, and proceed as if it had never happened.

[@tenchraven]

Like video gamers are any better. Most of you mouth breathing basement dwellers would grope a woman if any let your type within arms reach. After the polisci losers and the creeps, people who's gaming resume is "hurrr... I'm a video game player" hurt the hobby.

[@realdragon]

About paladin story, paladins don't need to be good, but that requires talking to the party. For example in my good aligned party I can play evil character nuder condition I work with them. I know this because I talked about it with them. I personally don't mind macabre and feeding the child dead farmers but again it depends on the party. I'm even running dark fantasy and warned everybody "Hey you're not heroes, you can't save the world and I will get into details describing gore"

[@SushiKatGamer]

I really should have mentioned in the original post that we were playing 3.5e and not 5e, and we were playing with very few homebrew rules because both Dick and Gary were new players. Dick having played 1 session before this game, and this being Gary's first, so 3.5 dictates that ALL paladins are Lawful Good. Also, the King Arthur knock off that Gary was playing meant that the action of feeding people to people in any regard was just generally counter to his character concept, and his character really was just King Arthur, even being called Arthur in game (his pitch for his character was "I want to be a beacon of hope and justice for my people, on a quest to remove a lich from my kingdom by locating a holy relic; a powerful and Godly sword that will allow me to destroy evil"). Gary really seemed to be trying to get Dick to play one of the other tropes from the knights of the round table during character creation, but that didn't happen and was never going to happen based purely on the kind of characters my fiancé likes.

[@michaelcohen8259]

I have mixed feelings about the new format. I did get a bit dizzy watching the games in the background, but I find myself missing them. The new version does give the background a more professional look, though. Also, is it me, or is the cute "kitty music" gone when you show the cats? I haven't heard it recently. I'd always wondered about the source of that music; it just seemed so appropriate.

[@tendigitnumber]

The kitty music is a track from the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. It noticeably plays during a sequence where Link is sneaking around in a relatively low stakes area.

[@michaelcohen8259]

@@tendigitnumber Thank you for the info. Am I correct that you've stopped using it, or did you just not use it the last couple of times?

[@michamoskaluniec3680]

First story: gm should tell Gary that his character knows it'd be heinous act. Player may not know about the world but character does.

[@Svartalf14]

I'm currently playing a neutral evil character who's best friends with the cult of Lathander, even a paladin... he told nobody that he might betray them if the stakes are high enough, but until they are, he's the friend they think he is.... good minions are hard to replace...

[@lanir9543]

Every single thing the creep in the last story was described as doing was wrong. Any kind of relationship, even casual acquaintances are built on a basic level of respect and trust. Maybe not a lot (for an acquaintance), but some. This creep just wanted to use everyone there to get what he wanted right away and he didn't care what anyone else wanted. And a poly relationship tends to require more thought and consideration because you have not only have your relationship dynamic, your partner also has other relationships you need to respect. The very last thing that would work in any poly relationship is some selfish asshole blowing in and deciding they're going to get their rocks off without caring about their partner much less their partner's poly group.

[@natashaallen9929]

Anyone notice in the last story that they were named after Brooklyn 99 characters?

[@cyrilsneer4908]

I have made the experience that its even worse to demand DnD after Sex. Ask my exwife

[@Forever-GM-Dusty]

I think the PHB would be a wonderful option as far as books to throw at Scully go. After all, it's pretty big, and more importantly, hard cover

[@ladycordelia17]

Why stop at the PHB? Why not get the canon NPCs with their names attached to 5e sourcebooks in on the anti-Scully action? First, get some cameras to show Scully from every angle (eyes of the eponymous Beholder from Xanathar's Guide to Everything). Second, blow up Scully's phone from a slew of new numbers - badly enough that he can't block them, try to call somebody to bail him out, etc. (IRL manifestation of Mordenkainen's Disjunction spell, from a group member with a copy of Mordenkainen's Tome of Foes) Third, write all of Scully's sins all over him in Sharpie (from somebody with a copy of Volo's Guide to Monsters, as Volothamp Geddarm is a writer of monster lore in-game) Fourth, shower Scully in cheap, bad-tasting beer (IRL manifestation of Tasha's Caustic Brew spell, introduced in Tasha's Cauldron of Everything) Finally fifth, get the cops to haul him off to jail, as a dragon hauling off a prisoner to be caged in the middle of its hoard (a la Fizban, genius behind Fizban's Treasury of Dragons).

[@Forever-GM-Dusty]

@@ladycordelia17 I like your style

[@TigerW0lf]

​@@ladycordelia17 Too elaborate, this bastard needs to be dealt with swiftly and efficiently. Report him for sexual assault and verbal abuse. After that, let the cops take care of him and let the REAL criminals give him a taste of his own medicine

[@vodostar9134]

And now I want a 5 layer burrito lol.

[@bodypiercingbytom]

Your presentation keeps getting better. I can tell you're more relaxed. Kudos! EXCELLENT channel!!

[@DragonJohn]

If something like that happens to you, CAUSE A SCENE!

[@ThugShakers4Christ]

Should of sold the child for parts and blame it on whatever killed the farmers

[@Nikodraws149]

A woman won't have sex with me and her friends don't like me?? Toxic. Awful. It sucks. I'm in a poly relationship and i often feel like I can't say that or people will take it as an open invitation to be creepy. Like "if you have two boyfriends you can have another one" kind of deal. People will use it as an excuse to invalidate your boundaries all the time. Scully sucks. Into the bin.

[@elderliddle2733]

1st story: Wtf… 2nd story: look I like players having bases too, heck my seafaring campaign party has a fleet of 4 ships at this point. 2 sloops, 2 Brigs. But they are willing to put out the coin to make those ships sparkle. Plus they win murder hobos. If it were me, I’d make the consequences dire. Like the king making war on their homelands, and explain in detail how their families are being slaughtered. When the players murder hobo, murder hobo right back.

[@destroyerinazuma96]

Real gents demand consensual dnd after consensual sex.

[@Svartalf14]

Loki, ziggy, Luna, Simba.... how many kitties do you have living with you?

[@jacobmonroe3899]

I would have made Gary an Oath Breaker Paladin in that very moment.

[@LEWS316]

*pets the doge and hands him some treats* Hope you feel bettr after all these anti dog moments Seriously tho love the videos

[@binarydark4811]

Anyone else taken by surprise that Lucky knows spanish?

[@7thsealord888]

Story 1 - DM should have simply said up front, "Paladins don't do that. This course of action will lead to loss of abilities, possibly permanent, and alignment shifts. Think again." Nothing wrong with the DM telling or reminding Players how things work in the game, many problems arise when they DON'T do this. Story 2 - This is not a group. It's really just a bunch of people at the same table, who obviously feel no need to look after each other's interests.. The DM should also review their own decisions, as it sounds like this has previously been a very 'consequence-free' game. Scrap the game, the DM needs to get a damn clue, and maybe look for some new players. Story 3 - Scully. Big mistake. Enough said.

[@AmazingAutist]

4:27 well I don't understand is why the Paladin was the only one who was punished and Dick didn't suffer any consequences? Because he did commit what is probably definitely a crime and even though the the Palatine did the Dirty Work he was the one who not only suggested it but participated and instructed the Paladin to do so which would have fallen into some sort of crime it comes to the authorities wondering why the little girl was forced to eat humans

[@johngleeman8347]

Poor Pug Mount. :c

[@AmazingAutist]

8:41 this guy rarely curses at all and is lenient to a fault in my opinion, he is really mad lol. I 100% agree, players and fuck that game. Let the hate flow through you!

[@TigerW0lf]

You can make fanservice characters without it being creepy. Wanna know the secret? It's NOT BEING A CREEP ABOUT IT! I.e. Faeathurin Helegolar Tanlaial Edit: CONGRATS Skully! You need to go to jail! Enjoy the taste of your own medicine!

[@seto_kaiba_]

The second story is definitely recoverable. Some DMs get way too caught up in the plan and need to learn to live in the moment. If the adventurers fuck up a business and piss off the political elites-then said feudal ass government can crack down on them and force them on the road. They go from heroes of the city to fugitives.

[@michaelwautraets7126]

I hope your day goes well dog.

[@jrytacct]

Cool background! What game is it from? (You used to put that in either the description or in the video.)

[@DnDDoge]

I believe this is from Plague Tale.

[@Infidel_Supreme7]

damn i didn't know lopez from RvB was a cat

[@marybdrake1472]

Being polyamorous doesn't mean being a "slut", and no one is owed anything of that nature.

[@conspiracypanda1200]

Yeah, from my understanding, being polygamous has to do with keeping long term relationships with more than one person that are highly involved emotionally and romantically, same as a monogamous relationship. It's not a blaring red sign that says "Get your free one night stands here!". That would be Satyromania or Nymphomania.

[@AuntLoopy123]

Even if a person IS a "slut," that doesn't mean that they're obliged to screw anyone who wants them. They're allowed to say, "Sorry, I'm not in the mood," or "Sorry, you're not my type," or "I'm busy," or just plain, "No." Just because you have had sex with someone else doesn't mean you suddenly become the world's plaything.

[@marybdrake1472]

@@AuntLoopy123 Yeah, you hit the nail on the head.

[@marybdrake1472]

@@conspiracypanda1200 Exactly.

[@valivali8104]

​@@AuntLoopy123 👏👏👏👏👏👏

"Jake/Amy/Boyle were in a polyamorous relationship" - I'd say that's the weirdest B99 fanfic I've read so far, but knowing the things that exist on the internet it probably doesn't even breach the top 100.

[@p1nnysk3n1s]

GM in the third story seriously dropped the ball. Yes the creep was a terrible person but the in game consequences were ultimately on the GM and should never have happened.

[@SinnerChrono]

Even demanding sex from your hand is cringe.

[@TheMightyBattleSquid]

I'm listening to the first story and really confused on to why the Paladin even needs to be punished in the first place. What is their oath? Isn't it to defeat the lich and reclaim their kingdom? This god wasn't even mentioned until the dm decided cannibalism is a grave enough sin to directly give their opinion through an npc stand-in. Not all paladins are the generic lawful good type either. Sounds like both of these players are cooler with more grimdark themes. The player may have started by basing their idea on King Arthur but that doesn't mean they should be chained to it, most character concepts change with time, that's kind of the point... Really weird Doge is agreeing with OP here since their stance in these cases is usually "I can't believe people still think all paladins are the same" but here's Doge saying "that isn't a very paladin-like thing to do." To be clear, I'm not one to suggest or support cannibalism either but they already searched the area and this was the only """food""" they found. It sounds like the child is starving to death and they're only feeding them enough to get them to the village alive. If the DM wanted them to do something else, they should've... you know, given ANY OTHER OPTIONS.

[@RiveroftheWither]

Not sure why you're looking so deeply into this and getting defensive. If the deity is anything less than chaotic evil or neutral evil, it should go without saying that feeding a kid his dead parents is a no go. For a Paladin ones oath and deity are equally important, you can mix and match whatever you want but your actions have to reflect both. You cant play a grizzled old oath of vengeance with an "any means necessary" attitude and expect your lawful good deity of mercy and repentance to be okay with torture. Likewise, it doesn't matter what oath he is or what his goal is in his deity isn't one who would be okay with making children cannibalistic. There is no oath of cannibalism and stopping a lich wouldn't be impacted by this. "Not all Paladins are the same " isn't contradicting the fact that this guy's character did an evil action while playing a non-evil character.

[@underfire987]

Yeaaaa a Poly relationship is a warning sign in itself yikes, glad i left wotc dnd for better rpgs and gaming culture years ago lol

[@TheZamaron]

Sadly Polyamorous relations are the least spotentially stable, with 2 people there's little chance of competition, but for Poly, you have multiple people often competing for the limited affection, this can often result in 1 o a few gettign the most affection and 1 or a few geting barely any or feeling jealous of not gettign enough, then you have people like the sicko in the last story who jump to the conclusion that it's just a slutty relationship and think "Hey maybe I can get some sex, she clearly has no problem wih multiple guys. Overall Poly tends to get pretty complicated and that type rarely survives long.

[@Torqegood]

Really should roll things back, so you arnt stuck remembering that guy because her oc died from it.

[@gdawg614]

a dire pug?? really? of all the possible mounts available and thats what they went with?

[@tsifirakiehl4250]

I would love a dire pug!

[@RiveroftheWither]

Why not? Sounds awesome

[@natashaallen9929]

Doge you're great, and i adore your cats

[@karcistthurgy3025]

The thing I find most disturbing about this post is that Americans eat 5 layer burritos

[@solarchos4352]

STRING PLEASE. YAY!

[@marlmyanimationoutlet3934]

"You're all toxic!" Says the rapist...?

[@alicepetyablackburn1498]

Oh dear… these stories were tough

[@bumblehoney7206]

"my fiance is a bit of a dick..." Why marry him then

[@xXG3TPWNEDXx]

3rd story I have some sympathy for but to a degree. Being poly is somewhat suggestive and predicated on a certain level of promiscuity, at least thats the general perception. (perception is reality as they say). So It's really no wonder if there is one woman and a room full of guys that there would be some level of expectations there. SA'ing someone is obviously wrong. That goes without saying and I feel bad for her on that. My suggestion would be to set expectations and boundaries very clear. As early in the post there was mention of texting and flirting. We are not privy to the details of those messages. So to me it seems a little bit of a bait. Given the context I could understand where he would feel that way. Just my opinion. It seems like to me he was led on to believe something different. SA'ing someone in a room full of people is a bold move and I find that unlikely to happen unless the guy felt that it was mutual. Which means expectations and boundaries were not made clear at all. With that being said I detest the virtue signaling that comes out of negligence. it's not victim blaming. Each party owns a level of responsibility in this matter imo. What transpired should have never happened.

[@blissfulbabybatter]

Yeah the jerk in the last story is the kind of person that deserves to have the breaks beaten off them sa isn't cool

[@93lozfan]

If I was gonna get hit by any book I'd much rather the PHB than a bible or ANY law book those things are dense

[@Vox-Rox-Omalox]

Oooh, I think we know where this is going. welp, here we go! May your reading of this story help me bear through what I'm about to hear!

[@chelonianmobile]

If you know your fiance is a dick, why are you engaged to him?

[@gdawg614]

my thoughts exactly, only conclusion I come to is she's one of these gals that complain about dudes who are dicks and aholes, but that's what they are attracted to.

[@RiveroftheWither]

You do know girls call their boyfriends dicks as teasing banter right? You guys haven't had many relationships have you? Or do you think that when my boyfriend made me coffee but used salt instead of sugar as a funny prank for April Fool's and I laughed and called him a dick as he brought me a second cup made properly, that I should have broken up with him over it? The dude just teased the Paladin a bit and both characters are having fun with it but you guys act like dm is being abused and the boyfriend beating up the paladin player for fun. All because she jokingly called him a bit of a dick.

[@unluckyone1655]

Hey me and my hubby can sometimes give each other a hard time about each others nerdiness. As long as its not mean spirited, then it can be a bit fun.

[@travisbishop782]

To be honest, these stories make me want to quit dnd altogether.

[@Denkono]

Guarantee that players wouldnt bat an eye if that party dog was instead a chicken or cow. Shame that in-game moral values seem to take precedence over those out-of-game.

[@Creshosk]

The "Campaign Over" story shows the players are morons in another way with the Karen comment. They clearly use words they don't understand. If anything they were more the ones exhibiting Karen like behaviour. What with the boundary stomping and whining when told no.

[@GodOfPlague]

No eat doge

[@TheTurtalitarian]

*Demands (Thumbnail)

[@REfan2002]

Skully!

[@caidengoodsir]

what is with some people......

[@SnaxTheSnaxolotl]

Kitty cats!

[@cvernon5256]

Regarding Amy's story: ALWAYS draw attention when sobering like that is going on. Sitting in silence and taking it is simply going to embolden them and you are letting them off. And to nip it in the bud, this is for those actually being assaulted. Some people will do this to defame and ruin others.

[@callmecharlie4250]

you never really know how you'll react until you're in a certain situation. unfortunately freezing is a response that happens.

[@cvernon5256]

@callmecharlie4250 absolutely agreed. I was commenting more on the lines of if you are feeling uncertain, it'll cause unnecessary drama, etc. But yes, some people will freeze up, even with forewarning and permission.

[@nothing_82]

How many cats do you have?

[@gravytruck]

Human probably tastes better then rations i guess.

[@ChuckPalomo]

OP from the second story definitely seems like a buzzkill.

[@5cream5]

dogs kill and eat their owners irl but god forbid somebody makes a joke about eating a fictional animal

[@Daman3tm]

Sorry for this, but I just have to: FIRST

[@michaelwautraets7126]

no, i was. by a whole minute.

[@eldritch-rage]

*HEY GUYS LOOK HE'S FIRST* Ok, cool, now lets have an actually productive conversation in the comments.

[@miscprojects9662]

So demand sex before?

[@RealSeanithan]

"It was Amy's date, and we didn't want to be rude." Amy was already being rude to the table when she brought a date to the table while married. Fair game at that point. "He thought polyamorous was a synonym for slutty." While it doesn't justify his actions, his assessment is correct.

[@angietori]

1. Amy is married, but she is in a polyamorous relationship with Jake and Boyle and they all occasionally bring over their dates to dnd. Thus, it's not rude what she's doing. 2. His assessment would never be correct because it's out of assumptions that could be easily debunked if he either looked up what being sl*tty is or talked to someone who's in a polyamorous relationship.

[@RealSeanithan]

1. If you are married, and you come to my house with a date that isn't your spouse, you are absolutely being rude, not to mention disrespecting my house and my family. 2. "Slutty" refers things or behaviors that resemble or are characteristic of a slut. A slut is a woman who has multiple sexual partners, therefore, by definition, polyamorous and slutty both refer to people with multiple sexual partners. The only difference is slut only refers to a woman, while polyamorous can refer to either.

[@angietori]

@@RealSeanithan 1) Fair enough but you keep ignoring the fact that they are in a polyamorous relationship and they do this all the time. All parties involved (including the owner) were okay with it. 2) Keyword "sexual partners". How do you know that every polyamorous relationship is just sexual?

[@RealSeanithan]

@Angelica Hoskins People being OK with it doesn't make it any less disordered. I suppose I assumed polyamory referred to sexual partners because the Latin root (amor) implies sexual love, the equivalent of Greek "eros".

[@Unseensmoke5745]

cute kitty!