Secret Policeman's Ball: Rowan Atkinson 'Headmaster'

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In this clip: 'Has Matron seen those boils?' Rowan Atkinson in top form at the 1979 Ball.

[@AlexQuill63]

"I have a detention book." Rowan Atkinson, ladies and gentlemen: a perfect example of how to shut down a heckler in as few words as possible without breaking character.

[@woodfamily5229]

+Alex Quill Actually my favorite part. haha

[@ivucica]

For those of us too lazy to look back and to find it after watching, it's at 0:53

[@KesselRunner606]

It took serious balls to go on stage, in front of a live audience, with no set, no props, one light, and just a list of words, and rely on your delivery alone to get laughs.

[@johnchornyTheOnly]

Buehler? Buehler?

[@anothertime1282]

Those of us who went to an English boys-only school in the 60s will have gone through this kind of thing every day.

[@hugohackenbush1554]

I was fortunate enough to have attended this show at Her Majesty's Theatre back in '79. I'd seen it advertised in the London Evening Standard (as it was called back then) and next day in my lunch break (the band were rehearsing in Trident nearby) I bought 4 tickets at cost of £20. A fiver a ticket can you believe it. All relevant to the times. I have never laughed so hard or so much at a live show since. Rowan Atkinson stole the entire show. Here I am, now in my 60s reliving it. Cool as fuck if you ask me.

[@Kerbeygrip]

Me too

[@hugohackenbush1554]

@@Kerbeygrip It sure was some night Patricia and it's terrific we can both relive it here 😁👍🏻

[@Kerbeygrip]

@@hugohackenbush1554 i have a video of the show. It e en has a clip of me and my husband in the audience. Fabulous night.

[@hugohackenbush1554]

@@Kerbeygrip Oh wow! That's fantastic. I loved the first sketch with Peter Cook and John Cleese. “An interesting fact about the ant...” “Is that a fact?” “No. That was a joke.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Kerbeygrip]

I have never laughed as much in my life before or since!

[@TheJonathanNewton]

He could read out any Terms & Conditions and have you rolling on the floor laughing.

[@jaimy_games]

Ah, finally the original headmaster sketch. This one demands much more comedian skills than the dirty version, which Rowan Atkinson displays flawlessly.

[@harrytd]

Fully agree 👍

[@sammencia7945]

23 fresh out of Engineering school and destined for greatness. This had the comics in the audience beside themselves. Launched his career.

[@GrandiaKnight]

The man is a genius! There are only a handful of comedians who could do this sketch justice and Rowan is the best of them! It is purely the way he says words. There are almost no jokes in this what so ever!

[@Sunomis]

Rowan Atkinson is one of the best comedians ever, alongside with John Cleese. They never break character or get distracted, but what makes them even greater is that they are fucking serious while playing comedy.

[@stewartchristie3408]

I remember watching this with my sister in my Grandparents house. We were crying with laughter and they were looking at each other in bemusement. It's a generational thing I guess. Brilliant! Never tire watching it!

[@johngore5127]

The comedic equivalency of a comic genius making the reading of phone book funny. Not many of them around anymore.

[@sammencia7945]

The writer of this sketch wrote a lengthy comment on YT a few years back about how and when it was written -at university I believe - and how Rowan's brilliant delivery elevated it to timeless comedy.

[@sammencia7945]

I read that comment also.

[@simonpatterson3288]

This was the sketch which Atkinson employed to get into the Cambridge Footlights. Simply brilliant.

[@steveosborne2297]

Although it is a copy of a Will Hay stand-up routine from about 40 years earlier

[@electrowavez1680]

@@steveosborne2297what was the routine?

[@steveosborne2297]

@@electrowavez1680 It’s basically the same sketch that Will Hay used on the music halls in the 1920s and 30s . As a headmaster he will stand at a lectern on the stage and read out a roll call of boys names which got progressively sillier . You might even be able to find a video of it on KZbin as Will Hay did do this on telly in the 1950s as far as I can remember

[@harrytd]

Ah, I remember Masters exactly like this. That perfect mix of disdain and despair backed up by rapier wit and untrammeled confidence in their authority. It kept horrible boys like me in fear and awe. Do they still exist? I hope so.

[@gdj6298]

Plus the ability to whirl round from the blackboard and hurl the chalk at any offender, all in one sudden, pinpoint move !

[@tricia5792]

​​@@gdj6298I had a headmistress like that (every time I see Professor McGonagall I think of her)! The magnificent Miss Holden was her name - and she was a dead shot whether with a bit of chalk, a chalkboard eraser or her acid tongue. God bless her 😂

[@MichaelKingsfordGray]

Yes. In Australia.

[@anabolic_red]

Its like his face is made out of elastic. He can convey every emotion to its absolute fullest with such little effort.

[@Jojoseahorse]

You are absolutely right! He can say a totally non-dirty word and make it sound obscene! Genius indeed. I hadn't seen this since it first aired, and revisiting it now, I still laugh my ass off :)

[@hinakomalin]

I love the way how he does the improvisations with one member shouting out during the role call.

[@ArmyJames]

The headmaster shut him down right quick.

[@trickykid73]

Its so funny . Always a Nancy Boy Potter or a Elsworth Beast-major in an English school lol .

[@notesl5576]

Paul Hewett Oh so those were real names? 😂

[@timomastosalo]

Having a long talk with Undermanager for bullying Zob

[@beldengi]

This is much funnier than his "dirty" version.

[@dsd310580]

An unknown Rowan Atkinson in 1979 in the sketch that made him a star overnight.

[@captainblue8258]

NIBBLE! LEAVE ORIFICE ALONE! Lol XD the funniest part!

[@eingelvf]

he is the best!!!

[@Skraeling1000]

Comedy gold, purest fecking 110% gold.

[@CapitalBhoy78]

Absolutely hysterical! Rowan Atkinson = Comedy Legend.

[@johnsheldon7862]

Saw this live brilliant

[@SLane249]

10 years old and still brilliant"

[@LeoDragon34]

10 years old? This sketch was first performed in 1979. It’s 44 years old. And still brilliant.

[@edgarallanpoe1822]

That’s the highest summit of the British humor,Rowan Atkinson

[@martinpatrick9915]

A very young Rowan Atkinson.

[@georgenorris2657]

Years of experience of education made this sketch

[@MultiSunra]

Remins me of a sketch of the Dutch comedian Toon Hermans Voorzitter 'Ons Genoegen' witch was from 1968 ( also seen on KZbin), still the Rowan Atkinsons scetch is hilarius.

[@kirkscudder8827]

Brilliant!!!!

[@TamiJoeris-ge5dg]

My favorote sketch from this live show is the one where he keeps making those noises while he was talking to John Cleeses character. Lol!

[@footynutdyl]

I have not laughed like I did when watching this in a long long time. Definitely being bookmarked.

[@letsparty2night]

My favorite actor is Rowan atkinson

[@andrewcdavies]

A comedic genius.

[@CodenameEternity]

Most of this sketch is a play on words. Rowan Atkinson is known for making any word funny by the way he says it. Plectrum (one would assume) would have said something about the 'Headmaster' not being allowed to 'tweak' him and being asked whether he has a solicitor is one way of saying Plectrum can't do anything about it.

[@saenmaroCN]

when i came here i was thinking he's going talk! HEEEEEEEEE GONNA TALK ABOUT SOMETHING JUST TO BE FUNNY ? HE DONT NEED IT !

[@alelooooooya]

1:05 I have a detention book 2:48 haha

[@Kerbeygrip]

I was there!

[@grytlappar]

Am I crazy or does he look exactly like he did in the mid 80s?

[@badideass]

it is the 80s.... maybe the late 70s

[@TheBorderlineWarrior]

1979 this is from

[@cmasseylynch]

ah the well dressed sadists in british public schools......funny sketch,thanks.

[@thewhatorwhy]

And universities, media.

[@notesl5576]

At 4:07 HE'S LAUGHING INSIDE HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

[@captainblue8258]

5:08 lol XD

[@patton303]

He was 24 here. A very old 24 year old.

[@johanbrand8601]

?

[@musicninjawarrior]

Brilliant

[@jackal59]

4:09 or so - it's just for a second or two, but he's corpsing.

[@DaveDexterMusic]

jackal59 I prefer to view it as the smirk of a man who has firmly put a boy in his rightful place.

[@notesl5576]

He's laughing inside LMAO I CANT HAHAHHAHA

[@TobiasRobertson]

The control though, the way he forces his muscles into that scowl after, masterful!

[@pix046]

Just part of the overall performance.

[@BradB2]

5:11 LOL!

[@danielwilliamson6180]

5:07 LOL

[@rachell4417]

Yup, Matron!!

[@nealchi]

Yes

[@winglesswrath]

yes he is ^.^

[@stephaniehand503]

great

[@bradlittle8047]

Haha legend ❤

[@alanbicker9417]

My school to a T!

[@jackal59]

Someone was commenting on confusing bits, and I think part of that may be that this was assembled from two different performances. When he lists the names of those who need to see him afterward or who did something in particular, he says names that aren't in the roll call ("German," "Quibbing"). Also, one camera seems to visibly hit the end of its film reel (at 5:03 before the cut to "NIBBLE!"), and his shirt collar is in a different position between the stage-right and stage-left cameras.

[@JamesPoole007]

Also the section with Williams Witchly Wocket has been cut

[@VonBlade]

Not quibbing, cribbing. As in, copying each other. Although the rest of your points are valid (and for anyone curious, the play with a joke in it is "Comedy of Errors in which two people look alike. Twice".

[@AlonsoRules]

The full list is missing

[@BenBanjo87]

"NIBBLE! Leave - Orifice - alooone!"

[@scottgalpin7044]

Do you have a solicitor plectrum...

[@danielwilliamson6180]

A shame Rowan didn't do this in Not the Nine O'clock News.

[@mcduffxyz]

OMG! So Funny!

[@reded1905]

But if you are Rowan Atkinson, it tweren't nothing.

[@captainblue8258]

Funny video

[@ginonovanta]

being italian i didn't understand this like i did the dirty names one

[@alidapellegrini7671]

Presente professore Rowan😂

[@BenSimpson1998]

Pause at 5:07

[@SwampPhyre]

N I B B L E ! ! !

[@orestisconstantinou5707]

Hercules Balls

[@timomastosalo]

Ainsley (? is this right? if so, why would it be funny - English isn't my mother tongue) Babcock Bland (probably wants it written Blande - less… common place) Carthorse (heard first Hearthorse) Didnt (?) Elseworth-Beast Major Elseworth-Beast Minor Hemoglobine (Haemoglobine) Kosygin Loudhailer Muttock Nancyboy-Potter Nibble Orifice Plectrum Poince Sediment Soda Tare Undermanager Zob Correct my spelling if you will, I'm especailly curious how the two Elseworth Beasts would be written: can there be a name like Smythe-Brown-Jones(-Major)? Yep, you'll get a football team of them. Imagine their pride when they have their name on the jersey!

[@RO8s]

It's a reference to the elder and younger brothers. The elder brother is always called Major, the younger Minor and if there is a third at the school at the same time (as sometime happens with the Catholic families) he is called Minimus. Very unusual to have two brothers in the same class (year) so I guess we're talking twins here...

[@sirknight1399]

@@RO8s Or the third brother might be called Tertius.

[@RO8s]

@@sirknight1399 Yes, you are right, but not at either of my schools! Possibly somewhere snotty like Eton... :))

[@williamwaynflete6336]

Spiritual successor to Alan Bennett's "Forty Years On"?

[@deanpeng7854]

I don't think rowan was trying not to laugh at all. If you watched many of his interviews, you can tell that he is really serious when he is having a performance.

[@stephenfox6078]

Great skit. Almost as funny as the "no one called jones" one.

[@dushanjayathissa2724]

Really funny names, but who are the names of the girls with the high pitch laughs in the show? Can you name them?.

[@JupiterThunder]

Elsworth-Beast-Major

[@zankyalbo2208]

In another version, he calls out to, "Mydick" , "Has anyone seen Mydick".

[@steveforest8385]

Surely Mycock would be better because it's a real surname.

[@GemDlareme13]

it is an honor: the bean

[@woody2shoes64]

NIBBLE!!!! Leave Orifice alone!😂

[@nealchi]

Is it the writing or the performance - or are they the same thing?

[@SteveChisnall]

It's in the delivery. What sells this sketch is Atkinson's ability to make even the most otherwise dull and boring of words into hilarious sounding side-splitters entirely by how he uses vocal inflections when pronouncing the words. You can't convey that in print, it takes someone like Atkinson, who has an instinctive and intuitive knack for finding the right inflections to use to make the material funny. That's NOT a dig at the writer, it just means that the writer intended for this sketch to be performed ONLY by comedians who could do his writing justice.

[@xtraspecialmango]

Bibble?

[@tsuntakcheung9437]

Hemoglobins

[@ComradeCommissarYuri]

“If it was meant to be funny.. he would have put a joke in it” Is Rowan talking about his lil sketch here?!?!

[@miguel1019061571]

mr bean!

[@DanHarrisonKing]

Has anyone ever told him, he looks the spitting image of that Mr Bean?

[@rockydavis94]

He doesn’t look 24!

[@tdsims1963]

"horrid little top..." 🤣🤣🤣!!

[@rhiac9114]

'Horrid little twerp ' I think 😄

[@timomastosalo]

Wonder if Nancyboy-Potter is related to Harry Potter, on his mother's side?

[@ibrahimihsan2090]

JK Rowling was a kid when this was made. What are you talking about? Or are you referring to Big D?

[@garywright3523]

Nibble?............NIBBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@robzyveale]

I don't get all these jokes... why would plectrum need a solicitor? sorry, my english is approximate...

[@VonBlade]

If Plectrum has a solicitor, the teacher wont beat him too badly. If he hasn't...

[@lesliemackay7853]

Ah, I miss school? Americans want these things to have fully automatic weapons and a free fire zone?

[@mrkimble2618]

Zob

[@dubleM7]

There are no obvious jokes. So yes unfortunately you do have to be English to be able to laugh at this.

[@master-stratocaster4737]

You dont have to be English, I am not.

[@tdsims1963]

I'm not English and I am laughing like crazy ...

[@michaelturner5443]

British comedy at its very best