SELF-SABOTAGE: Why We Do It and How To Stop It

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Күн бұрын

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@thisjungianlife 5 ай бұрын

HERE'S SOMETHING SPECIAL: You're invited to JUNG'S AMERICAN MUSE: THE VISIONS AND ART OF CHRISTIANA MORGAN, a live podcast recording on Saturday, July 13th, at 2 pm EST. Tickets are on sale now for $5. Christiana Morgan's visions and art were pivotal to Jung's understanding of the nature of the feminine. We're thrilled to welcome her granddaughter, filmmaker Hilary Morgan, as our guest. Hilary will share Tower of Dreams, her short documentary, and then discuss her memories and reflections on her grandmother's life. BUY YOUR TICKET HERE: www.eventbrite.com/e/jungs-american-muse-the-visions-and-art-of-christiana-morgan-tickets-928055668487?utm-campaign=social&utm-content=attendeeshare&utm-medium=discovery&utm-term=listing&utm-source=cp&aff=ebdsshcopyurl

@ethereal.baddie01 3 ай бұрын

i had this recurring dream where I was trapped in high school & i kept telling everyone “i’ve already graduated, im not supposed to be here” & it was during a time in my life where i knew i had to upgrade to the next level of my life but i kept holding myself back. i eventually chose to level up to the next stage in my life & i’ve no longer had those dreams

@tylercummings5490 2 ай бұрын

Same!!!

@hopedealer4 2 ай бұрын

I really needed to hear this, I have the exact recurring nightmare

@dsophie 5 ай бұрын

Many of those things resonate, and the dream of the aspiring artist too. I made that change in my forties and definitely felt the shock of reality with the ghost throwing lots of shoes in the machine lol. Thank you for a great episode. Here's a summary of my notes, if that can be helpful to anyone. Causes: - unconscious not aligned with ego attitude (neurosis) - internalized negative beliefs (being unworthy, incompetent, …) which are dangerous to challenge - adaptation and need for collision with reality. - fear of “success” or attaining the goal (the reality of the goal and new responsibilities) - imposter syndrome, fear of being a fraud, conflict between feelings and convention - ambivalence - self-handicaping: cause is not in the past but immediate environment, misattribute failure to an external factor - individuation, the unconscious sabotages to push us in another direction - virtue (example: allegiance to catholic poverty or humility-staying small) - fear of rejection or abandonment - fear of envy - comfort and desire to stay small, way of not being subjected to a fantasy of humiliation. too-good mother or father causing to sabotage independence. getting near graduation, scary to go out in the world. fear of endless burdens and responsibilities. evading responsibility. - disorganized attachment style and projection of early childhood struggles Solutions: - get curious, have conversation with unconscious with active imagination - let he unconscious fully have its say by journaling or speaking out loud in your car - admit the fear (puncture the neurotic isolation), confess that you’re afraid. When kept a secret the fear becomes over-potent. - in case of attachment issue, realize that you are no longer powerless, that as an adult you now have choices - against fear of responsibilities: recognize that it’s not all responsibilities, there can be satisfactions and rewards in life too

@lastwaltz86 5 ай бұрын

Thank you for this!

@Sudha785 5 ай бұрын

That's very detailed. Thank you 🙏🙏

@burayabakarlarpodcast 5 ай бұрын

👏

@Loufi303 4 ай бұрын

Much appreciated. Thanks 🎉

@sheryljoinerspero3230 3 ай бұрын

Very helpful! Thanks!😊

@MojoMachin3 5 ай бұрын

Thank you all for this. I have been struggling with this for years and everytime I am about to take steps towarss a noble goal. My inner saboteur shows up.

@carolorber6009 5 ай бұрын

Joseph, much appreciated your explanation as to how the child can over idealize the parent. I believe this motivation comes from the essential desire the child has for the parents love. There are people in my life who were quite abused in their family, yet place those parents upon pedestals.

@rhondasmith7413 2 ай бұрын

No parent is perfect.

@trinisweetzz 5 ай бұрын

This was a fascinating discussion. I’m personally thinking about self- sabotage in terms of addiction. At times I can feel a split between the “saboteur”and the “better self”. I’m starting to learn to just hear what the saboteur is saying because like you guys said, bringing out the honest truth of the fear of moving toward the better self can give some relief. It really feels like my light and my shadow are in a constant fight. Leaving behind addiction means having to sit with those painful feelings and past experiences that I’ve numbed out but also having to face the consequences of the harm I’ve caused through addiction. Interesting you guys mentioned dreams of being chased because I have those constantly too. The jungian therapist I was seeing had told me I have to face the thing that’s chasing me. Very on point lol

@ekkolima 5 ай бұрын

1:17:00 to end. I realize I no longer have to be loyal to the past and truly relax and enjoy a good life. I can finally mentally transition into a bright, positive future.

@isaaca6445 5 ай бұрын

It's one thing being able to stop being loyal to the past, it's another when the past will not let you go when you're trying to let it go.

@ekkolima 5 ай бұрын

@isaaca6445 Is it really the past itself that's holding on? Or are there some mental and emotional wiring that needs to be removed and readjusted in order to better navigate this life? I used to be stuck in echo chambers for years at a time. After much help and many changes I decided to make it my mission to press through and to live life from a place of being and gratitude.

@detodounpoco37 5 ай бұрын

Beautiful conversation as always. Self-Sabotage is also a compensation for the constant need of success and growth. Yes, we need to advance but not too much. Any extreme can be pathological. That voice that wants to keep us comfortable and below as Lisa said is also the inner conversation that balances us to grow in a healthy pace.

@SheilaMakena 5 ай бұрын

As a chronic sabotager, I listened to this entire conversation and I gleaned so much value from it. It took me back to my childhood, where I was extremely stressed and overwhelmed about certain situation, and my 12 year old ego had to learn to self preserve under these circumstances. Now I realise that I am still attached to the solutions of my inner 12 year old. Your episode today has taught me first of all to talk to this little child in me with compassion, because now I can hear her say "I was just trying to help". As one of you said so clearly, we have choices now, we are not limited to those circumstances or that fixed perspective. I really appreciate the work you do. It is helping so mny of us!

@curlyhair5396 4 ай бұрын

You guys are amazing, thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom in this episode!

@scott555 5 ай бұрын

Really appreciate this episode. Got more out of this than several attempts at therapy with 3 different people. Answered 10+ questions I didn't even realize I needed answers to.

@muliefriend4785 5 ай бұрын

Children come through us, they are not our possession.

@iamgalvanized 5 ай бұрын

I had that same dream over and over about showing up to school and being lost or unprepared.

@emistarr8212 5 ай бұрын

Same here lol

@Helene_experience 5 ай бұрын

Your channel is a gift. Thank you 🙏🏽 I relate to the dream as I have been wanting to be an artist that could live from its art all my life in which I ve stopped believing in when I became a commercial photographer. After a pause of 7 years, I’m coming back to photography as healing art and I’m facing that fear again. I got so much insights in this conversation. “Relaxing in the enjoyment” That’s wonderful !

@neilkiots 5 ай бұрын

great episode. 'reality as medicine' and 'amor fati' have been mantras for me, thanks to your show. this talk has been a great compliment to my morning, separating two fighting cats, cleaning the bathroom, and getting ready to entertain guests!

@markchappell4148 5 ай бұрын

Thank you. For being most kind .

@nikaprusnik 5 ай бұрын

This was so wholesome! Thank you! It really helped me!

@marilynwarbis7224 5 ай бұрын

Very helpful, thank you.

@AurielArizola 5 ай бұрын

I was listening to this awesome podcast while doing the front porch (raking leaves/grass and stuff) and while I was at it, I was doing some quirky, abstract work on his picnic table and lil tables around. And then I consciously asked myself if I was doing that other artsy stuff just so I will sabotage the NEXT TIME lol.

@muliefriend4785 5 ай бұрын

I’ve applied for many jobs in my 70 years, if I trusted my own gut instead of others options, I would have have made much better outcomes.

@jerrypeters1157 5 ай бұрын

Great topic! I loved all the perspectives and examples. Thank you.

@stevehorning3238 5 ай бұрын

I love the sense of humor being injected! SKITTLES!

@puppetconservation8118 3 ай бұрын

Oh how I wish I could laugh more easily about this

@hecate76 4 ай бұрын

When you said everyone has had the school dream, I just started to think not me. Then I remembered 😆 I had a dreams like that long ago of being at school at not knowing where my class is, everyone seemed to know where they were going, but I was confused what class I'm supposed to be at or where it is. I also had chase dreams and train dreams and getting lost dreams. They stopped years ago. I have a better sense of self and direction. But some old self sabotaging habit showed up lately just as I'm about the enter a new & better phase of my life & finally figured put my purpose and this habit is delaying my progress but I cant seem to shake it. I also have a lot of regret and sadness & anger at still being single and not having a partner to support me and anyone considering my needs, even my only adult child who lives with me seems to ignore my need & dont seem to care. Any ideas?

@davidllamas2192 5 ай бұрын

I feel very grateful for this video. Could you recommend me some reading to delve deeper into this topic? thank you!

@corlisscrabtree3647 5 ай бұрын

Thank you 🙏

@67oldcoach 5 ай бұрын

What is Patrick’s full name please? I loved his comments. Most helpful.

@shikhapandey3801 5 ай бұрын

This is good work. Thanks. Hope this helps. 🙏

@laray7228 5 ай бұрын

Heck yeah!

@psychrefence6825 5 ай бұрын

Working out everyday to get in shape and thought about the sabotage for a split second before I bought a gallon of ice cream yesterday.

@v.ra. 5 ай бұрын

No one's gonna read this but let me tell you about the solution that chased me in my bad dreams. I had this recurrent character in my nightmares. Her name is Claire. She always used to look different and always used to run away with my boyfriend at the time. Him, consenting and deeply infatuated with that wildly confident, competent, and composed lady. She would always encourage him to ignore my pleas for him to stay, for his own sake, and he would listen. They will ride off and I would feel utterly abandoned to my self pity and despair. The last time I dreamt of her she was a machinist. Driving her own train. Her dad had taught her how to. She was amazing at it, fast, light and energetic. You see, this dream struck me profoundly. For my father had died when I was 5. He couldn’t finish teaching me how to ride the bicycle or anything else for that matter. I was envious yet admiring of Claire. For years in my teenage hood I dreamt of being so heavy, so pressed down by gravity that I would always miss my train to school, or I simply wouldn’t be able to get off at the right station. Until one day these dreams stopped for I had to dig myself out of the underground train station onto the surface with my nails and all the fortitude I had in me. I was no longer heavy. I was at my destination on time. Back to Claire, the last time I dreamt of her was very shortly after my relationship with the “abandoning” boyfriend had ended. Ended due to my persistent sabotaging it for a year. After waking up it all made sense. Claire was who I wanted to be, who I could be had I only had a father. But she is also the person I will be now when I admit, I must grieve for losing dad and with it stop being the victim in my mind of this injustice, this outrageous fortune. The symbolic train in all these instances was all about being *on the right track* in life and me finally riding it through Claire meant I was at last in charge of its velocity, when it would stop, when I would get off.

@muliefriend4785 5 ай бұрын

Isn’t Denial part of stages of grief by Kubler- Ross?

@topaz898989 Ай бұрын

I saw a short the other day that claimed skittles are the worst on your blood sugar vs. other candy.

@sabrinaszabo9355 4 ай бұрын

How do you distinguish between the ego and the stories that towels, because I think that’s a tape recorder. This says the negative things my unconscious has picked up. But then there’s also a good part of the unconscious, that’s got inherent body wisdom.