Sensory Seeking & Avoiding

Do you know if you're more of a sensory seeker or sensory avoider? In this video, we're going to be learning more about sensory seeking and avoiding, hypersensitive and hyposensitive individuals, and commonly noted behaviors that are typical of these.
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[@NotAyFox]

I think that in discussion about sensory issues, there's not enough focus on the quality of the sensory inputs and too much focus on hypo/hyper component (quantity). For example... I am very sensitive to sounds that are uneven or unexpected. An unexpected sound in an otherwise quiet environment will give me a jump-scare. But I can be comfortable with very loud sounds, if they are structured and familiar. Like, for instance, electronic music. A semi-cloudy day with random changes in light levels are excruciating, while days with minimal changes in light are better. That also depends on context. A sunny day in town is torture, while a sunny day in a forest is bliss. In this model, stimming is high quality sensory input that lowers stress, while chaotic inputs are increasing stress.

[@-phia]

I'm very much a sensory seeker, but like you, avoidant when it isn't on my own terms. I've always loved really bright and busy patterns, loud "clashy" music, stimulating tactile textures, rollercoasters, staring directly into flashing lights, uhh even making a game out of having my mom hold a pillow over my face as a child.🤣 My sensory seeking behavior bleeds over into my sense of style too; sometimes I just gotta wear a whole rainbow of colors and do a full face of clown makeup when going to school, so that when I get overwhelmed and anxious I can just run off to an empty bathroom and absorb all that and take a deep breath! Its ironic, given how much I HATE having others look at me, but I just need to decorate myself for the sake of my own comfort and sanity. When I go out in public like that, riding pubic transit etc, I'm always worried that someone else might find it to just be too much to look at, so it's a big predicament for me haha. Also, one thing I reaallllyyyyy don't enjoy is being tickled for like more than 5 seconds at a time, it can be so overstimulating. One time as a kiddo, my mom just wouldn't stop tickling me and I ended up biting her really hard cuz I juust couldn't handle it. Thankfully she learned to respect my limits after that, ahah.

[@-phia]

Also this topic makes me think of my baby cousin (she's only 1 and a half and I think there's a good chance she's on the spectrum) she loves having us shake things in front of her face, beating her toys together to make loud sounds, and she absolutely LOVES getting tossed in the air, and being spooked n startled , by me especially (probably because I'm so visually stimulating!!!)🤣I relate to that baby more than anyone else I've ever met, haha.

[@bleeknee28]

I would say I'm mostly avoiding, im a very sensitive little soul, im a turtle, ill poke my head out and say hi but most things cause me to go back into my shell. Ever since I can remember I have worn sunglasses year round, even inside.

[@yoyogirl116]

I'm a mom of 4 year old on the spectrum. He is both a sensory seeker and avoider. He loves rough play, jumping, hugs (open hug, kind a tricky to explain) and squeezes. He is a sensory avoider with his feet (must wear socks), but he seems okay with bare feet if we are going swimming. He doesn't like kisses on the mouth, but he will let me kiss him on the head (tilts the top of his head at me). Hugs are tricky to explain because when I ask for a hug, I keep my arms open so he can escape the hug when he is done, no python hug. I feel for him a closed hug is claustrophobic and he tries to escape which is why I don't do it and have to explain to others. But he loves tight hugs when we wrestle or do tickles (he likes tickles) So determining what hug to use depends on the situation. Outside of play, I usually ask for hugs and kisses and leave it up to him to decide if he wants to do a hug or kiss. I know he loves me and he definitely shows it in other ways. My sister who is probably on the spectrum hates hugs. My mom didn't get that concept and basically called her "cold". We didn't know at the time she could be on the spectrum. It was only when my son was smaller we started noticing the similarities. But I found out before my son was born that when I asked her for a hug, she would allow it. But definitely no kisses, she cringes even if you kiss her on the cheek.

[@vazzaroth]

The world needs more people like you that realize love is a two way street and if you can't make accommodations to love someone the way they want to be loved... do you really love them? Or would you just like the idea of being loved by them, and want to project love onto someone and expect it to reflect back?

[@amuletts]

I'm mostly a sensory avoider (bright lights, loud noises, strong smells) but I am a sensory seeker when it comes to touch. It's suprising to only now be learning this, as it has affected me my whole life.

[@realtalktinaann]

I have autism and my 3 kids have autism and we are all different when it comes to sensory seeking or avoiding. Very interesting

[@michaelteal806]

You should try listening to brainwave entrainment such as Isochronic Tones, Binaural Beats, and I-Doser. You need to use a pair of high quality headphones for the audio to influence your mood, thoughts, and emotions. They have tones for literally hundreds of purposes, such as calming you down, getting better sleep, getting high, better sex, and reducing stress and anxiety to name a few.

[@kirstieperkins896]

I honestly don't know where I fall on this. On the one hand, I handle a lot of sensory heavy situations relatively well and I actively seek out things that taste good. But other times, it seems like the connection between my brain and my body is pretty average. Although, I am very much pain-intolerant. I stub my toe or scratch my side on a corner, I get really upset

[@TheReadingWren]

I’m mostly sensory avoidant, except for visual stims. Fireworks are a good example of this - I love the colours and patterns they make but I hate the loud noises, so I have to cover my ears.

[@neurodimensions7509]

I would love to find an OT. I considered OT as a career and volunteered working with autistic children. I learned about sensory differences and definitely recognized many in myself. This was years before my diagnosis but definitely planted a seed. I like many aspects of the OT philosophy, and I hope that they soon start to develop more supports specific to autistic adults. :)

[@deehowe4141]

Check out “ your kids table” online and in IG. She’s an OT specializing in sensory stuff…

[@isaacw1689]

This was more informative than I anticipated, I was previously really confused about the sensory seeking vs avoidant issue because my thought was that I seem to switch back and forth. From what you have described I believe that I am sensory seeking, but if I am feeling overwhelmed, distressed, or whatever else, I need to be in tight control of certain sensory input, especially sound. I can and do hear many sounds that other people don't, but they only become a problem if I am emotionally or otherwise overwhelmed. I have a shockingly high threshold and tolerance for pain, but if I am too stressed out I don't even want to be touched, when I am not overwhelmed I am unaware of my own strength and have broken objects or nearly injured people (myself included). So I have learned that I am more than likely more sensory seeking, but like you described more than once, sometimes I need control over or less stimulation in order to self regulate. Actually, I just remembered, even as a child I was both highly attuned to my sense of taste and smell and highly adaptable to new and even strong flavors, rather than it making me want to restrict what I eat and taste it gave me a desire to stimulate it, with both intense and mild flavors, anything from the mildest tea to the spiciest of curries, onions, mustards and hot sauces. I have my comfort foods, and some are mild for when I feel overwhelmed, and others are intolerably overstimulating to most for when I feel underwhelmed and am seeking sensory input. I love all kinds of food, and I love cooking it (a major special interest) when I have the spoons for it (spoon theory if anyone isn't already familiar).

[@Biociety]

It helps me learning and realize many autistic behavior that other people considered "weird" are actually stimming. I thing I maybe Hyposensitivity, I enjoy loud music. I tend to singing loudly when the environment quite overwhelming, so I can be more focused because the noise around can sounds reduced/organized. I have bigger endurance when it comes to sport like marathon. Thanks :D

[@amaebarnes]

I am definitely a sensory avoider but I eat trays of ice the entire day and the ice has to be the exact right texture. Mmm ice. My favorite food haha

[@mimipare1696]

I don’t have autism but I have anxiety and I related to a lot of these things. I just wanted to thank you for making a video on this that wasn’t geared towards the parents of toddlers, it was really helpful. Also, do you know if always watching videos on 2x speed could be a sensory seeking thing? I just now realized they might be related.

[@annaf3915]

This is so interesting to me. I'm a synestheste self diagnosed at 33 years of age, until then I always kept it a secret that pain and voices and people and sounds manifest as colors before my "internal eye" which may be one of the many reasons I'm so easily distracted. And why I dance at the club with my eyes closed. Now I have 2 children, a sensory avoider almost 7 years old and a sensory seeker that just turned two. I used to date a guy with aphantasia too, it didn't work out because his voice was too piercing red, among many other things ;-) Anyways what the journey told me is that I should definitely seek therapy for my 2 year old. Because no matter how many hard squeezes I give him, no matter how much rough play his brother gives him (before he gets overwhelmed) he could definitely use a little professional help getting in touch with his body now he's still young.

[@whitneymason406]

I hate how people think it's one or the other. My son seeks by crashing into things, jumping, jumping off furniture, and then avoids with toe walking, vocal stimming and covering his ears a lot. OT has been invaluable in finding things that meet his needs like his weighted vest, crash pad and his dizzy disc :)

[@tudormiller8898]

Great video Stephanie. Happy World Autism Awareness Week!👍

[@ellottelim360]

Yes i curate a lot of my own sensory input including very loud music.

[@reylime2991]

I love a strong bassline🤣. But when other people play their music loud it’s really annoying cause of my hearing sensitivity.

[@jessicapowell8912]

Thank Stephanie for this video!

[@ziggy5246]

i relate so much to being confused about what my ACTUAL sensory needs are lol. this video was SUPER helpful to me and thanks for the advice too, i'm going to ask my care team about occupational therapy! that sounds like exactly what could help me because my sensory issues are reeeeeaaaaally bad and i need help figuring out what's going on

[@starrsketcher7118]

cw: meltdown talk briefly I think I am primarily sensory avoidant, since I can't handle bright light, and all noises uncontrollable by my can over stimulate me (even quiet light tick sounds often are noticed). i also though, stim alot. its in a way regulatory, since i have to deal with light n noise output all of the time, n it is impossible to control every aspect of your environment without being stuck in your room all day. i am also sensory seeking though, i like to flap my hands, run in circles, do repetitive behaviors like walking in a certain way, i like bumping into ppl, n i have multiple stim toys i use all the time, in both overstimulated and understimulated situations. i also have a high pain tolerance (or semi-high). i think it is very true that many fall into both, as i very much do. i find the main clause is that i need to have control over the sensory. in most of my meltdowns due to overstimulation, its due to light an sound. how i deal with it is always going to a dark place, blasting a show or music in my headphones, and stimming heavily. its kind of interesting how different everyone is, and what bits each person has or doesnt have,, and how its almost impossible to create enough boxes to put ppl in thatd define such a plethora of different experiences. also,, nice video! it was very enjoyable and relaxing, and your voice and way of going over topics is very pleasant :00!!

[@theartisticautist3123]

I love the hoodie 😍😂 I really love your video style - it's really helpful to insert the text when showing lists by the way 😊

[@MartKart8]

That hugging thing, it feels weird, think the last time, I got a hug might of been 7 or 6 years ago and it felt weird to me. Good video I gave it a thumbs up.

[@ruebug3663]

Your videos are very informative, thank you so much!

[@PukuDuckie]

I loved the video!

[@marblemew]

I have vocal stims that are more noticeable when I am overstimulated by noise. This video was helpful, thank you Stephanie.

[@agrotta1650]

I have some avoidances such as certain textures, especially textures that my mouth cannot tolerate, and then there are bitter tastes. My taste buds are extremely sensitive and especially to bitter tastes (baby swiss cheese tastes like bitter poison etc). Sensory seeking is very much what i have been since birth. Although, moving/falling/rocking (specifically in a rocking chair) backwards has always freaked me out!

[@resourceress7]

This is a great video. Thanks for explaining things so clearly and without judgment. I'm sure it will help some people who don't have sensory issues start to understand these concepts in a matter of fact way. I have struggled with sensory overload and sensory integration my whole life, likely influenced by ADHD, giftedness, and fibromyalgia. My senses are more acute than most people's, and because fibromyalgia is a neurological pain amplification syndrome, sensory input that is usually just fine for typical people can cause physical pain for me. I can confirm that stimming does help with sensory regulation when pain is involved. For example, I find myself rocking side to side if I have to stay upright in a chair for a while but my pain level really wants me to lie down instead (e.g., in a waiting room) because it "confuses the pain signals," kind of like how you talked about making noise to override noise. If I stop rocking, the pain level is instantly higher, and ratchets up a lot faster. I'm so glad that I have known a lot of people with sensory disabilities and/or autism, both personally and in the special ed profession. I know that stimming can be good for you!! It's definitely worthwhile to know which situations you might experience (uninformed!) judgment or consequences for stimming (such as at a job interview). It's also very important to know that in many other contexts, if no one is getting physically hurt, you can do you what your nervous system needs. It's also okay to ask someone if they wouldn't mind pausing that stim if it's leading to your own sensory overload -- especially if you know that this person would not be in great distress if they had to stop. Sometimes I can filter out other people's tapping or visual noise while I'm trying to do something like converse with them, but at other times I have to ask them to stop so I can do what I need to do, and they can start right back up when our interaction is done. (They might have to wait until we've arrived somewhere.... I have limited bandwidth when I'm driving. Don't distract the driver!) And by "stimming," I'm including the things done by people who have the normal range of sensory integration. Everybody stims sometimes. It's a matter of perspective, whether they get told they're wrong for stimming. Or as this article puts it, "I'm Okay, You Have a Mannerism." www.tsbvi.edu/component/content/article/102-deafblind-and-visually-impairedmulti-impaired/2584-looking-at-self-stimulation-in-the-pursuit-of-leisure-or-im-okay-you-have-a-mannerism

[@kyleandrewsmasterson3359]

I highly identified with all of those

[@gigahorse1475]

I’m hyper sensitive to sound and light, but seek textures (as long as they are the right kind of texture).

[@K0kirik4t]

I don't know which side suits me best I relate to both kinda but I might be more of a seeker. I'm getting a sensory assessment soon while I'm waiting for my full one and I'm excited to learn more :)

[@kyliecarpenter4806]

I was diagnosed with spd when I was 9 or 10 and then did OT for a couple years. Now wondering why I was never tested for autism since I’ve had literally every trait someway or another my whole life. I would say when I was younger, I was more of a sensory avoider. Now of course saying that I can think of all the ways I was a sensory seeker. The biggest thing that got me “diagnosed” with SPD was how I would have huge meltdowns around fireworks. Noise was always a huge no no, unless I was in control of it. Like I remember being in the kindergarten class at church, and they’d let the kids pick a instrument to play during song time. I ALWAYS picked the cymbal but then the teachers ended up putting foam on them coz I was too loud😂😭 Next week I was clashing tambourines together. I’ve always been an huge oral stimmer, whether it be chewing on my hoodie, random pieces of paper and plastic or going through a whole pack of gum in a day. Nowadays I’m addicted to gummy candy and crispy snacks, tho I still find random pieces of plastic in my mouth from time to time😆. Really I guess I’ve always been a mixture of both, tho now saying all this, maybe I was always more of a sensory seeker……🤔

[@arc4705]

11:02 Wait this is so relatable, the more overstimulated I get, the more I start walking around like a drunk person… I just have absolutely no idea where anything is or where I am in relation to it and I start bumping into stuff really hard and it frazzles me even more 😭

[@johniversen1539]

For sight, and sound, I am sensory avoidant. I need to leave when I hear things that I don't like, and agitate me, and bright lights are overbearing sometimes, and I can't handle looking at things with bright lights. I also can't look at certain things like making eye contact especially with pretty girls that I don't know. I often look straight to the floor when I am around pretty girls because it makes me uncomfortable to look at them. I do not like hugs, so in that way I am touch avoident, but for the most part, I like to touch a lot of different things because they are so cool, and different. I don't know if it is related to autism, or not, but I also get really agitated, and angry when I see a person hurting somebody else, for any reason. I find that working on something like my school work while listening to music can calm me down, or listening to music, and doing any type of work. I find that I seem to work better if I am a little bit agitated because I express my emotions in that work, and I end up working fast, and hard because it seems to soothe me. I think that a neurotypical person would do something similar if they are stressed by punching a punching bag, but I am stressed, and anxious a lot more often than a neurotypical would be.

[@evalynkazlauskas3819]

Omg I react to loud sounds the same way! I used to hum whatever note the vacuum cleaner would make and it sounded like I was making it (to me).

[@shadowfox933]

I am extremely hypersensitive to sound and touch generally, but I also tend to seek out vestibular and proprioceptive sensations. Just goes to show that all of it is separate, and everyone is different

[@ma77mc]

I identify with many of the things on the Hypersensitive list, I hate tight clothes (I have pants custom made because I hate feeling them on my calves) I have not hugged anyone in my family for over 20 years (my nieces, nephew and grandmother being the only exceptions and now my nephew is a teen, I am starting to become less comfortable), I walk into things ALL THE TIME and look clumsy, I hear things all the time that no one else can hear (I have removed all clocks from my home), feel uncomfortable in close proximity to others (the only benefit to COVID is the social distancing), I wear headphones all the time and am a super picky eater. BUT I love playgrounds, I take the nieces there all the time and join in on the fun with them on the swings or slides.

[@gonnfishy2987]

I almost always love your hair! 👐🏻

[@criticalmaz1609]

I'm so sensitive to light and sound! I used to get ocular migraines all the time in my teens and early twenties, and I spent a few years wearing yellow lenses to prevent headaches. Better now though, and I have an app that plays nature sounds to block out all the noisy noise.

[@mothercoyote351]

I would definitely have to say that I am a sensory seeker for sure. Although there r certain sensories that I do try to avoid, so I guess it all depends on the situation to whether or not I am a sensory seeker or avoider.

[@jontaewalker9586]

I was surprised that I am much more hypo sensitive(sensory seeking) because I am soooo sensitive to sound and light. But yeah, I see it now, it makes sense. I agree that a lot are probably a mix, and I see that with myself.

[@jackd.rifter3299]

I'm actually pretty surprised after watching this video. I'm a mix of both if it's on my terms. I didn't realize the sensory seeking was rocking and such. I do have major issues with lights and sounds though and stay up at night mostly, which I have done since I was a child.

[@jennasink8743]

Mostly I’m sensory avoidant, but I am a MASSIVE oral sensory seeker. Which is kind of a problem finding socially appropriate stims that are not also harmful/unhealthy in some way.

[@reylime2991]

I really hate bright light, even just natural daylight, not so much outdoors because my eyes have to adjust but indoor bright lighting is really jarring. I hate vacuum noises and I only like MY loud music. I hate the fact that other people are so touchy, and it’s annoying when some people just ignore boundaries. Everyone wants to touch my hair aswell🙄

[@goblinodds]

i think a lot of it is about predictability-- i'm pretty sensitive to sound but i'll blast loud music (rhythm is usually v predictable!) in the car to drown out all the stressful noises coming from outside of the car :D

[@gonnfishy2987]

wow, you have helped me understand in certain terms, my own behaviours and needs. 🤟🏽🤟🏽🤟🏽🤟🏽

[@sagee.venus333]

I’m definitely very sensory avoidant . I hate cold hard surfaces and never let people hug me, even my mom. She didn’t really used to understand and is generally very hurt when I don’t want to hug her- but they send me into overload and I have a tic attack so I hate them. Sometimes I hate like knives and forks, so I can’t touch them, and sometimes I can’t touch my phone (I end up throwing it etc) and other things like that I have to have equal. If I touch something in my left side then I need to do it to an equal amount on my right. Eg: peeling potatoes and I touch the potato peel ... I have to touch it equally with the other hand, and if I don’t manage to do that then I’ll have to wash my hands. Similarly if I touch a bin lid or something like that then I also have to immediately wash my hands. It helps get the “feel” off. I think I’m sensory seeking in terms of loud noises, but they scare me too. Like fireworks: I love them so much, but specific ones I absolutely hate and I have to cover my ears - the big ones. But the spinny fizzing ones I ADORE. Also I love soft things - I surround myself with soft blankets and teddies and pretty lights (I have so many pretty fairy lights and I always have my LEDS on pink) So .. yeah. Thanks for all of the information!! I really appreciate it :))

[@reylime2991]

touching the rubbish bin is so accurate 🤢. I hate washing dishes without gloves too idk how people do it.

[@deehowe4141]

Do u think u might have a bit of OCD? Your description made me think there are similarities with ocd.

[@kaishawna3753]

I'm a bit of both. I stim when I'm happy and I engage in sensory seeking more than I do with avoidance.

[@minksrule2196]

I didn't realise that being wary of swings was a sensory thing. I was confused as to why I get scared when I go too high on the swings but I have no trouble climbing way higher than that on the rope pyramid

[@sadshyguygaming125]

I think I am more sensory avoidant. I don't like a lot of loud noises. I tend to have the volume lower than most people. I don't like to be touched. And I am bothered by things like static in my clothes. I think minor head aches is a common experience for me. But at the same time I think I have a high tolerance for pain. And I think I am starting to find out that I need some sort of simulation throughout the day. I am not sure what kind of stimulation or where to get it. I am still trying to figure myself out.

[@AKKTerry]

Love your hair. Do you use a curling iron? What kind of headset do you use? Thanks 😊

[@danyelPitmon]

I am a mix between both it just depends on the situation but mostly bright light sunlight fluorescent lights I can’t handle it well and I also cannot stay on loud sound sirens or even my alarm system in our home when it goes off there are many other things but I love hugs I feel much better when I get heavy pressure like from a weighted blanket or a soothing hug that is firm that makes me feel better and I also do a lot of stemming about things with playing with my hair tilting my head back-and-forth saying on side side no it would be too much to list here and I will probably make mistakes and all of it but to say I am a mixed bag of both of those that’s pretty much accurate for me and I am only now noticing all of this and I’m also looking at my own childhood and noticing different things and come July I will be getting professionally tested for autism and currently I am self diagnosing as having autism and I am 56 years old I may pull the record but I don’t think so I’ve been the oldest person diagnosed from what I understand I’m not

[@JoyBean]

I like the color of the sweatshirt and I could tell the softness would be nice to the feel. Would stemming also be done by people who might be stressed out? Even though I don’t have Autism I sometimes talk with my hands. We have dark curtains in some rooms and then some lighter one’s in rooms I hang out in more. My fellow likes the noise cancelling AirPods. My Mom would ask him whether she could give him a hug when that was safe to do and that way he could decide whether he was okay with that. Wishing you a blessed Valentine’s Day..

[@michaelrhodes4235]

Looks like Teespring just updated their URL's or something like that. I was going to post the proper link for you but KZbin won't let me :P. Teespring seems to be first instead of Stephanie Bethany in the URL now.

[@Lauren-us7ju]

Yayyy so excited to see this video

[@Nuverselive]

Starting to notice autism ans vertigo have some connections. It seems u may have insight ! My vestibular balance went haywire one day and I'm experiencing dizziness internally ! Pretty strange feeling but I've found many others with this and I'm wondering if it's something connected to autism.

[@neurodimensions7509]

I am sensory seeking and avoidant depending on the stimuli with smell

[@idontwannapickanametho]

In addition to imitation, sometimes I try to harmonize with distressing noises to turn it into a puzzle

[@meisdolldiary]

I caught COVID a couple months ago and lost my sense of smell and it felt like all of a sudden there was so much more space in my head and I felt more relaxed (and for some very odd reason food tasted so much better!!). My sense of smell has since come back and things are business as usual in my brain again. I’m mostly sensory avoidant so it probably made sense that I didn’t miss my sense of smell, but yeah, because it’s mostly sound/light/touch issues that people experience, are there any other people may be bothered by certain smells, maybe even subconsciously?

[@stellarivers92]

I seem to be almost all sensory avoidant, except the chewing and I have a very high tolerance to pain. My roommate is sensory seeker except she avoids sounds, textures she dislikes and cannot tolerate pain.

[@jellybob4569]

Same here got on my comfy clothing on

[@gonnfishy2987]

go stephane!! 🤟🏽🙃🙂

[@lunaalsephina]

Im kinda in the middle of seeking and avoiding

[@Eddie2P]

i need a hug

[@anjachan]

Im more of a avoider. Sometimes the opposite ^,^

[@cc-wy4bs]

I would like to buy a few products but tooooo pricey!!!!. I don't think I'm the only one "" thinking "" that / ( I'm just saying.) Have a great day🌺. B- safe...

[@L0rdOfThePies]

Anyone just tear up pieces of paper, napkins and other tearable stuff for no reason? My mother calls me strange for it

[@avivastudios2311]

I came back here because I'm trying to figure out how to write a convincing story autism character in my story.

[@kyleandrewsmasterson3359]

Have you found yourself tripping and actually falling over your own two feet in public?