was I wrong about Rory Gilmore?

[@a-go-go19]

She's not even an "I said what I said" girl she's a "Um, actually, I didn't *technically* say that" girl 🤣

[@trinaq]

Who thought that the joke about Rory's boyfriend Paul being forgotten about was EVER funny?! She was clearly using him as a crutch when her journalism career was floundering, and good on him for eventually ending things.

[@briggitparilli]

Only a horrible human being would think thats funny, I was so thrown off by that ... was that really supposed to be funny? In what world ??!!!

[@siracastori01]

The joke wasn't funny, but it was never meant to be taken seriously, a bit like Todd in Bojack Horseman: when he kills a bunch of people with his horror Disneyland park or Clown dentists, that's a vignette, the victims are not real, but when Bojack or Diane hurt someone, it always has a in-universe impact.

[@KINGOFTHETHRILL86]

​@@briggitparilliy'all can't take a joke. Jesus Christ

[@k.johnson1256]

@@KINGOFTHETHRILL86 I don't think it's that, it's just the way they did it wasn't very funny. I think it could've been, but they missed the mark somehow.

[@jbcatz5]

He’s also seemingly created so the writers can take a jab at superhero movies, but the problem is that Lorelai of all people is used to deliver it and mainstream superhero movies just don’t seem her style nor does anyone in her social circle come across the kind of person who’d watch them (if it was Davy then he’s not accounted for nor is it mentioned if Lorelai was babysitting him and Martha for Sookie and Jackson). In his one main scene Paul comes across a decent guy who gets on well enough with Lorelai and Luke, a bit generic but not so completely forgetful.

[@haileymarie7866]

The only reason i dislike Rory is the long history of cheating. I kinda despise the argument that people dont like her because they are too much like Rory. Most women don't sleep with married men. I feel like people should be able to call characters out without being labled a "hater" or "jealous".

[@xosecox12]

I agree. If she could own up to it, I’d feel a little different but she doubled down so hard when she slept with Dean and acted like the victim when Lindsay did nothing wrong. Poor Lindsay was hurt and humiliated and Rory made it about her after already having cheated on Dean herself the first time they dated. She didn’t show enough remorse for me to see her as a good person

[@haileymarie7866]

@@xosecox12 I agree, especially since sometimes young people make dumb decisions, but the fact that she never learned from it really makes me upset. I don't understand how anyone can genuinely think she's a good person after what she did to Lindsay and then continued to do throughout the show.

[@jbcatz5]

@@xosecox12She sent him the letter the exposed the affair to Lindsey, upending Dean’s life and the failed attempt at the long distance relationship between Rory and Dean. This had come after Rory’s love life had hit a year long dry spell, so it can be interpreted Rory was going for something familiar, that felt right to her but was morally wrong.

[@Lililililili333]

100% her sleeping with Dean changed everything for me

[@tuxegirls]

@@xosecox12i could forgive it once when she was literally a teenager. like her actions upset me but the arc made sense for her character and i THOUGHT she had learned from it. but to be doing it again in her 30s and having a full on affair with logan was just not it

[@valami6054]

the rory gilmore downfall explanation video became a youtube genre and i am unable to not watch every single one of them

[@SerenaSkybourne]

same

[@roy.shrestha]

Same

[@laisp7253]

The most irritating thing about Rory's behavior is how she treats Lorelai's origins and struggles as if they were her own. Rory didn't suffer the abuse or difficult experiences that her mother did, she acted as if she was also this super independent woman, but she always had all the support to achieve all her goals, and still failed as an adult. a good example is when even at 32 years old, she doesn't accept working on things she doesn't like, like any adult who pays the bills would do.

[@sophiapeters8206]

And then decides to still write the book despite Lorelai not wanting her story penned. It was unfair for rory to keep pushing it

[@Nof-u1f]

This is not true. Trauma passes through the generations and this is the main theme of the show. Rory was born into a situation where she is to blame for Lorelai running away from home, not fulfilling her potential, to blame for the rift between the generations and somehow also for the rift between her parents. She is not a rebellious person, she is a willing person and you see that she does everything to fill the hole created in the family, to justify her existence by growing up to be everything that Lorelai could not be. While Lorelai's confidence rests on her self-reliance, Rory's confidence rests on her academic excellence. She doesn't just have to be good at school - she is expected to always excel, to justify Lorelai's dream and her sacrifice. She is used to making an effort to obey and meet her family's expectations (both visible and hidden), therefore every time she is not the best she breaks down because she does not see a middle way. She does not know how to rely on something internal but on something external - good grades, approval from the teachers, approval from her mother and grandparents. And not for nothing. Because Lorelai didn't get that approval, and supposedly doesn't need it, but she longed for it and that phantom was embodied in the form of Rory. The good, angelic girl who has to live up to expectations and fulfill the lost dream of the Gilmore family.

[@brittanyrogers9530]

I think Rory cheats because she feels a sense of entitlement towards her relationships. She's extremely possessive and still feels ownership of her paramours even after the relationship "ends".

[@xosecox12]

It killed me when she called Dean “her Dean” just because he was her first boyfriend. She cheated on him with Jess when they were together and yet when he’s married she’s still entitled to all his love and attention. Lindsay tried SO hard with Dean that it made that entitlement even worse. She was a sweet girl who wanted her husband to love her. She didn’t deserve to be disrespected like that

[@k.johnson1256]

Which, I must say, was quite common behaviour with many of my female friends growing up. Not just of boyfriends, many of them were quite possessive of their best friends too. I think anthropologically speaking it's pretty normal to be territorial. Definitely a flawed but normal girl.

[@geoffingoff]

I disagree - she emotionally cheats on Dean with Jess despite having no preexisting relationship with him. Perhaps this is a factor sometimes, but I think it has more to do with the fact that Rory feels immense pressure to behave a certain way romantically so as not to repeat her mother's mistakes. This results in an extreme dissonance between what she thinks she should present to society and what she actually wants, which is very evidence when she cheats with Jess and with Logan. In both scenarios, she feels that she "should" be with Dean or Paul on paper and incapable of living out what she actually wants. Even when she helps Dean cheat, it also has to do with her unable to live up the projected self-image of her as an academic success after a painful first year at Yale riddled with rejection, causing her to crave familiarity and stability at the cost of someone else's marriage.

[@promisemochi]

so much of the issue stems from lorelai. from the time rory was like two, lorelai decided rory was going to go to an ivy university. when rory started to question between harvard and yale, lorelai acted like "how dare you deviate from the plan we had set" but it was lorelai's plan. whenenver rory "stepped out of line" so to speak, lorelai would come at her with the "this isn't who you are" etc. while never letting rory find who she herself was. it was like lorelai decided when rory was a baby who the person she wanted rory to be was, and tried to force that onto her ultimately doing her a disservice and never allowing her her own growth of self exploration.

[@SocialExperiment232]

Exactly! It took her so long to come into her own and realize who she is cause every single decision was made for her since she was born. She also had her be the adult most of her life cause she was still acting like a teenager. Makes perfect sense that she is in her 30s still trying to figure out who she is.

[@k.johnson1256]

Exactly as her own mother Emily tried to do with her, ironically.

[@doloreshaze6733]

@@k.johnson1256Emily is better than Lorelei.. getting pregnant at 16? She was just a child! Lorelei didnt deserve Emily and Richard.

[@mavka.chorna]

She also named her own daughter after herself. I understand the feminist twist on the "junior" thing but, in retrospect, naming your kids after yourself should be regarded as a grave sin regardless

[@promisemochi]

@@mavka.chorna yesss!! i knew a nicolette whose mother was a nichole. nichole was a very narcisstic woman who'd kick her daughter out at the drop of a hat for no reason what so ever from the time she was like fifteen. it was wild

[@Lozza685]

A lot of Rory’s issues to me was the fact Lorelai, her grandparents, and all of Stars Hollow did put her on a pedestal and often treated her like she was the best thing since sliced bread. Even the cheating incident with Dean, only her mother came down hard on her for that. She ran away that summer with her grandmother to Europe to avoid dealing with the fallout of that. The only other event that transpired was running into Lindsey and her mother; otherwise, there wasn't a massive fallout. Nobody was gossiping about it or talking behind her back about it. That's why I feel she continued to cheat later in life, as there was no actual consequence for her other than her mother attempting to put her in her place and Linsday’s mother having a go at her. Significant opinion: Rory would have turned out the same or similar regardless if she and Lorelai reconnected with Emily and Richard. She was a big fish in a small pond and was constantly told she was perfect. Lorelai was a friend more than a mother in those foundation years when a mother typically would be critiquing and allowing her daughter to have these moments where they screw up and learn from it. Rory doesn't see her flaws as anything to be addressed because most people around her don't see her flaws either and see her as perfect. She might not have had quite the same type of experience had she not grown closer to her grandparents, but I still think she would have had similar issues and drama. She grew up thinking too highly of herself because of how they all treated her. She was an only child, abandoned essentially by her father; her mother treated her more like a best friend she could dress up and mold how she wanted to, perhaps subconsciously as a middle finger to her parents. I can't imagine that Rory didn't have help deciding her future schooling and occupation from her mother from a very young age. Most children have multiple thoughts and ideas over the years about who they want to be when they grow up. Rory doesn't seem to have thought of anything besides being like a reporter she has heard about. Rory could have been a more likable character had she not been treated the way she was. Her only true friend her age till the series began seemed to be Lane, and I wonder if that was more Rory not being able to make friends or being too shy, or the other kids thinking she is weird, or was Lorelai not doing enough to encourage her daughter to make more friends. I would have loved a prequel rather than a revival. Maybe going back to where Christopher and Lorelai met, and then had Rory Lorelai leaving and their lives from when she left Hartford and went to live in Stars Hollow up until the Gilmore girls show began. We could have seen it from the beginning, how it all unfolded, and it could have made more sense. I loved the tiny little flashbacks, but there never was enough of them. I didn't mean for this to be so long, but now my essay is done, I’ll get back to sleep and perhaps finish watching the rest of this later.

[@oliviapedersen8309]

I totally agree with you on the thing when I was younger how Lorelei treated her more like a friend and that was really part of the problem although I do think when she got older, she started reading her like her daughter because they both got more mature, but I think it was too late

[@kurii3166]

I love Rory Gilmore because I adore how real her development feels. It's not a classic story of a perfect girl who succeeds in life, it's the story of a girl who was told she was perfect and floundered when that reality was tested. It's odd to me that people blame Lorelai for Rory's downfall, because yes she wasn't a great mother, but she was a girl trying her best in tough circumstances.

[@SerenaSkybourne]

Love this comment

[@oliviapedersen8309]

I think Lorelei has something to do with it just because of raising Rory as her friend rather than her daughter there wasn’t a lot of discipline in her life. I also think you’re right that it’s not Ellie’s fault because to her credit she was very good at calling out Rory when she made mistakes andtelling her when she did something wrong like when she slept with Dean, and she was very harsh with her rightfully so about how wrong that was of her to do that when she dropped out of college would not tolerate it. She said she couldn’t live there that’s why she moved with her grandparents so I feel like when she was younger, she treated her like a friend, but as she got older, they both and she was able to act more like her mother.

[@yihaw149]

Probably one of the most realistic comments on the character. I actually saw the hate for Rory throughout all the social media (reddit, youtube) before I managed to finish the whole show, so to be honest I was expecting the worst in her character. However, as the show ended, I could not see what the strong backlash was all about, she seems as real to me as anyone I'd meet in daily life. She's not perfect but it's why it's actually a good show, because she's NOT perfect, and many characters we love on the show also aren't as well. My take on her being so demonized is also due to the age of the audience when they first watch this show. As someone in her mid-thirties watching GG for the first time, I don't idealize any of the characters I see on TV shows anymore as I used to do when I was younger. However, most of the fandom seem to start watching this in their teens or early 20s where they are still developing and growing into their own persons, therefore, in some way, they find Rory character the most relatable to their age group, her struggles in life, her aspirations in her career, even her personalities etc. Her being able to have most things her way is both in a way aspirational for young girls/women, but also act as a mirror for them as well. It's definitely an interesting phenomenon to see.

[@kurii3166]

@@yihaw149 I agree! I think the biggest reasons why she is so disliked are jealousy and disappointment. A lot of people grew up with this show in one way or another, and like you said are/were teens or young adults who are still growing. It seems common that girls (in particular) saw her as a role model, or as someone relatable. There are many studious female characters in shows, but few who felt so likeable. Paris is an example of the typical ‘smart’ girl trope in shows, and it’s often viewed as a negative thing to prioritise school over romance in the media. It makes sense that ambitious women/girls would see her and think ‘’wow! finally a character I can relate to.’’ When Rory first arrived at Yale, it’s clear that she was suddenly faced with the reality that maybe she isn’t as special as everybody has told her throughout her entire life. She began to spiral and her flaws became more obvious, as if the ‘bandage’ was finally taken off and it revealed the wound which had been quietly festering underneath. It likely felt like a betrayal of her character, or as a major disappointment to those who looked up to her. You could say that the attachment fans had to her character in the earlier seasons was her downfall, as they too put her on a pedestal, and felt disillusioned. Or maybe it was an uncomfortable comparison to their current selves like you pointed out (perhaps girls who succeeded in school, but struggled after leaving.) Another reason that I don’t often see being brought up in these discussions is the fact that this hatred seems to stem, at least partially, from jealousy (to an extent.) It’s somewhat uncommon for people to react to flawed characters so viscerally, but with Rory at least, it can be written off because she seems to make no improvements (or minimal ones) throughout the series. But, when you consider both Emily and Lorelai, things become more questionable. Lorelai is detested by many for her flaws in the series, or perhaps they are simply used as an excuse or a reason to explain what they find so dislikable about her. Emily, on the other hand, has many flaws and is at best manipulative, and at worst a narcissist, and yet it’s not uncommon for her actions to be defended- or for people to like, or even love her, despite everything. I believe that part of the reason this discrepancy exists is because of jealousy, or perhaps resentment towards Lorelai and Rory for having this inherent privilege and wealth, and choosing to reject or (in Rory's case) not acknowledge it. Emily is proud to be rich, and to be part of the 1%. She is unashamedly unrelatable, and isn’t trying to be. It makes her more likeable, even if that seems contradictory. Lorelai chose to throw away that privilege and is presented as a down to earth and ‘relatable’ person. For many who haven’t experienced emotional abuse in the same way, her choice of poverty over luxury could feel like an affront. It’s easy to see her character and think ‘if I was her, I would have appreciated how lucky I was to be born into such a rich household.’ It might feel like the show is saying that hey, it’s not that hard being working class! Just be grateful. It also undermines the ability to identify with her, since fans are constantly confronted with the reality that she simply doesn’t face all of those same struggles and tough decisions later in the series after reconnecting with her parents, as long as she has her family money as a backing. And Rory, who doesn’t acknowledge her privilege and money, can also start to feel frustrating, especially when she does things like steal a yacht or offer money for someone to let her sit at a tree. She goes from a lovable, down to earth girl to someone who feels like a ‘spoiled brat.’ In short, Emily might feel more likeable because she isn't trying to seem like something that she is not. Lorelai and Rory can both be seen as spoiled in contrast, for seemingly denying the fact that they are rich. Resentment against first class individuals has been a common theme in recent years (for, in my opinion, good reason) and so these flaws feel more personal than they might have ten or twenty years ago. Of course as I stated, I do not agree with any of these points. I think I have a somewhat unique perspective, as a teenager myself who grew up with a narcissistic parent, just as Lorelai did. Although our situations are very different, I can relate to her a lot with both her personality and trauma, and it was hard for me to see her flaws until they were pointed out. I’m not trying to say that Lorelai and Rory deserve to be hated or disliked, or that people who do so are wrong. I think they are both very realistic characters, and I love them a lot for that! it's interesting to analyse the 'whys' though. Sorry for the insanely long ramble lol, your reply really inspired me and I ended up getting carried away

[@yihaw149]

@@kurii3166 Haha ramble away. I totally agree with all your points above. Just to add an additional point: One thing I find very believable about Rory’s character and her refusal to acknowledge her privilege (which is also cited by many people as their number one reason to hate her) is due to the fact that she did grow up for a large part of her life with her single mom in very tough circumstances. When she first got a real taste of privilege was the moment she got into Chilton, she was already 16 and had mostly developed her personality and had a strong sense of who she was by then, so being shoved immediately into a world of the rich just didn’t immediately kick in for her. It was only then being pointed out to her by Logan that she did start to acknowledge it. Therefore, yes as much as it is annoying for Rory to not acknowledge her privilege, I don’t think it is far from being realistic. Also, many people are blind to this privilege as well, just being able to be born into a middle-class family will already set you up for a better life compared to those living below the poverty line or in a certain underprivileged black community. That makes many of us much more privileged than we think, I doubt much of the audience is aware of their own privilege. It's almost like a blind spot until someone points it out to you. So I find this whole “Rory’s privilege and she doesn't admit it, we hate her” kinda hypocritical of people to be honest. It's like they expect her to be this complete angel, and any slight deviation from a perfect character is immediately a fall from grace. If all these flaws belong to another character like Lane or Paris, I seriously doubt they would get this much hate. It seems solely to be Rory’s phenomenon, and jealousy/disappointment is the best way to explain it. Also I don’t get the sense that Lorelai is hated on as much as Rory does.

[@trinaq]

I used to want to be Rory when I was younger, but now that I'm older, I'm glad that I'm nothing like her. She was fawned over by everyone in her small town, but when she got to Yale, she realised that everyone was just as special as she was. Not to mention, Mitchum was proven correct when he told her that she didn't have what it took to be a journalist.

[@pineapplepapercrafts]

Some aspects of rory aren't bad. Like the school love. Her love of reading and films. But there are other aspects I'm good with haha

[@stephanieok5365]

Does kind of feel like, "nevermind, I dodged a bullet."

[@k.johnson1256]

I was thinking exactly that when I was watching this video- that in fact Mitchum was spot-on and was actually being quite prophetic. He sensed that she lacked grit or a spark of genius. A good work ethic often isn't enough in highly competitive industries.

[@lindseystein9676]

I agree. I think my issue with her is, and I’m not trying to be dramatic, almost feeling gaslit. Most characters fawn over her, but after season one or so, she became so rude and entitled. I don’t think the writers added positive qualities to balance that out. It’s like she got progressively worse as the seasons went on, but the level of fawning stayed the same.

[@nightlysobbing]

Mitchum wasn't even mean about it, he was straight-up with her. I could never fully see him as the villain in that situation. She could have taken it into stride and used his criticism to work hard and achieve her dreams, true. But turns out he was right

[@SocialExperiment232]

My biggest problem with the criticism of Rory is that is mostly rooted on the fact that she didn’t end up with the exact same career she wanted in high school and that she played with men and cheated and was pretty immature for someone in her thirties. But what they don’t understand is that actually her character development makes perfect sense given her upbringing. And it bothers me that people give way more praise to Lorelai simply for her work ethic but never consider the way she raised Rory. Rory spent her childhood being the mature one because her mom (who was in her 30s at this point) was still acting like a teenager. She also was working all day so she probably spent a lot of time alone and neglect has repercussions. She treated Rory like she was her friend and used that against her many times. She had many stepfathers and a real dad who seemingly never had to face the consequences of any of his actions simply for being hot. And also how many of us have the exact same career we wanted when we were 15? Her realizing that journalism wasn’t what she wanted and she truly just wanted to write books, makes sense, since all she was ever good at was reading regardless of everything everyone in stars hollow always said. It makes perfect sense for Rory to have a slightly rebellious phase in her later 30s cause she never really had any stability cause her mom was also bouncing from guy to guy. Almost marrying and then dating someone else. Going back to Rory’s dad then having him leave. All these things are all she ever really saw since she wasn’t close to her other family cause her mom isolated her from everyone. Overall as someone who definitely didn’t end up in the path I wanted when I was 15 and took my a bit longer to realize what I truly wanted I believe Rory makes perfect sense and just cause people only value others if they have a fancy career and a perfect dating life doesn’t mean that she is a bad person. Yes I wish she would stop cheating and participating in cheating but Lorelai was exactly the same it was what she knew! Was she spoiled at times and overly dramatic when her life was actually pretty good? Yes… but most people are also like that they just don’t see it in themselves as much. Also I think the hate of Rory comes from other women who also have dreams of perfect career lives that don’t wanna be told they’ll eventually burn out and realize a career isn’t all that it’s cut out to be and won’t actually make you happy if you don’t heal in other areas. I hope we see another Day in the Life special and we get to see Rory evolve as a mother and can’t wait for more character development. Humans aren’t these cookie cutter perfect beings that knew exactly what they wanted since they were children and followed through without any obstacles or changes in the way. Overall I love this show and I’m glad Rory wasn’t just this perfect little Mary Sue with no flaws or anything to fix about her. Most of us got shit to work on and she is a good reflection of this.

[@irina_i409]

Facts.

[@michelledorado6840]

Best comment ever 😮

[@dani01949]

People who hate on Rory are the ones that made her like that in the first place. It is impossible to keep being perfect.

[@jusssable]

👏👏👏

[@oliviapedersen8309]

I only have one issue you say you wish I would stop cheating but Laura I was the same way. When did Lorelei cheats because Rory cheated with a married man and then cheated on her boyfriend with someone who was married a second time she was home wrecking on purpose

[@thatmessy132]

Rory is unlikeable because she has a level of privilege that most of us will never attain, and she doesn't maximise on it because she wants to cosplay a humble life.

[@Soprano1638]

Since the vast majority of her life was spent living humbly, how would it be possible for her to "cosplay" this? Your childhood is an enormous determinant behind the adult you come to be. Rory had been without a father, and completely without her immediate family. That in itself is traumatising. What we see through the original series is Rory gradually gaining exposure to her grandparent's upper class life style, but she never appears to fully acclimatise. I feel that if she'd not been exposed to her grandparents she'd have gone onto university, tried things and failed, but looked to her mother as the strong, resilient, self-made woman that she is, and bounced back regardless of Lorelai's ability - or lack thereof - to hold Rory accountable during her upbringing. Ultimately, it's really her grandparents generation that are to blame. Rory had a lot of promise but the wrong influencing factors came into play. She could have been great if not for the unhealthy behaviors she was exposed to. But I just can't agree with the idea that someone is guaranteed to become a well-adjusted, hugely successful person, just because they received a leg up from their late teens.

[@thatmessy132]

@@Soprano1638 Rory's privilege isn't exclusively financial, even though she and her mom aren't exactly poor. She knows the power she yields as a pretty white girl with presumed innocence.

[@Soprano1638]

@@thatmessy132 it's a bit tricky this - if Rory monetised her privileges she'd be even more disliked for it - "of course the pretty white girl gets all the opportunities and lives happily ever after". There are always pretty girls, not exclusively white, who really don't want to use their looks to get ahead, or at least want to be recognised for their talents instead. I think Rory was one of those girls, however she didn't have enough (read:any) resilience and gave up pretty much at the first hurdle

[@sharon-bp9pk]

Hmm- I don’t think the hack out is maximising privilege, that’s quite gross in itself, but rather she uses her privilege whilst faking humility. She plays both camps when neither are particularly likeable.

[@thatmessy132]

@sharon-bp9pk it was always a lose-lose situation for her, if she maximised on it we'd hate her for skating through life unencumbered.

[@Irohsteashop92]

I think a big part of why I don't like Rory is because the SHOW isn't self aware about her flaws.

[@tuxegirls]

Yeah, I think ultimately all my issues with her come down to the writing and the way she never FULLY faced her flaws or learned from her mistakes.

[@jessiehook9483]

I think Rory’s disrespect towards Lorelai had a lot to do with Lorelai’s lack of boundaries when it came to parenting. She often referred to her and Rory as “friends first, mother and daughter second”, which kind of blurs her parental role and pushes Rory into having to take up more responsibility than she should have had to. Like with the termite thing, Lorelai wakes up Rory in the middle of the night saying she’s frightened the house will fall and makes them leave, then she repeatedly tells Rory she doesn’t know where they’ll get the money because no bank will take them. Rory’s obviously stressed by this and tries to get Lorelai to talk to E&R but she says no, but doesn’t provide Rory with any indication that she has a plan to deal with the problem. Of course if you’re Rory and your mother (who is immature and stubborn, I love lorelai but she can be that way) is freaked out because you might be homeless, you’re going to go to your grandparents for help. She thought there was no other option and didn’t trust Lorelai because Rory is “the responsible one”. Lorelai kept burdening Rory with her stress over their financial situation, and so Rory felt like she had to step up to be the “parent”, but ultimately disrespected and hurt lorelai in doing so.

[@jessiehook9483]

I just realised you touched on this in a previous video! I love all your stuff, it’s so interesting and well thought out!

[@Olha_Koshil]

I have an unpopular opinion that Rory was sometimes rude and condescending from the first episodes of the first season. I remember someone mentioning that both she and Lorelai were sometimes looking down on the people of Stars Hollow. With Lorelai, it seems to me, it was more like joking, but Rory was too young to understand that and took it as a real thing. I mean, English, unlike my native language doesn't really have "you" for addressing friends and those close and "YOU" for those older people or people you respect/ work with etc. I was constantly thinking that if I were translating the show there wouldn't be a lot of cases where she used "YOU" while talking to people from Stars Hollow and even school. Even with Luke, who was always extremely caring and a father figure to her was sometimes being talked down to. When Lorelai plays this "kid who has a fit ordering a meal thing" it's like an inner joke, but when a 16-year-old does it, it gives me an ick

[@esztopiros]

It's not that she isn't flawless. But the fact that most of the people around her still treats her as she is a saint (her mother, the town, the grandparents...). Careerwise, she really didn't have it. She only learnt how to compete in a school system but she never learnt how to operate in the real world. Perfect example, in season 7 when she is with Olivia and Lucy in Stars Hollow and she starts cry because her studies are about to end and she has no clue what to do afterwards. And in the movies we see, she didn't figure it out. So said that she refuses to marry Logan because she has big dreams and she fails and end up cheating with him. The other thing is, after Rory starts to date Logan we don't really see her working again (except DAR). She get the job at Stanford Eagle Gazette and it never mentioned again. Then she became the editor of Yale Daily News and moves in with Logen. (Is this a paid job?!) And can you imagine not contributing in rent in her situation? But the worst part is that she refuses to acknowledge she is privileged and offended when she is called out...

[@zoelopez1426]

I definitely agree with the hating on female characters thing, in general I find that while some male characters are allowed to have some flaws or be an antihero like Don Draper, Walter White and Tony Soprano, women aren’t given the same exemption. In breaking bad, Walt literally kills people yet Skylar gets all the hate or even in the Office, Pam gets so much hate from fans and the actress that plays her, Jenna Fisher says she would definetly call the hate sexism

[@k.johnson1256]

Well, and even with Emily and Richard, somehow grandpa ends up being the sweet one, when they are both exactly the same! And actually, I don't even think their upbringing of Lorelei is soooo terrible. They were old fashioned and annoying, but a lot better than the generation before them- if Richard's mother is anything to go by- and in many ways teen Lorelei was a defiant and ungrateful little butt!

[@taejasper1343]

But that's not sexism and I don't think that Jenna Fisher would ever say that, 'cause from all of the public interviews that she's given, she seemed to enjoy playing the character, and she never said anything about "sexism" or anything! I can't recall any time when or where she ever said that at all!

[@zoelopez1426]

@@taejasper1343 she said on her podcast she thinks the pam hate is sexism

[@zoelopez1426]

To be fair, I am best friends with my mum and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. She will 💯 % call me out if I do anything wrong. Being best friends with your mum is not a problem so long as your mum does make sure she still does let you know when you are in the wrong which I think any friend would do as well.

[@gravity-arbor]

It’s brilliant you have that strong relationship.

[@zoelopez1426]

@@gravity-arbor thanks, I just hope this vid isn’t trying to say being best friends with your mum is bad

[@greendiamondglow]

Your mom being your best friend is fine, but your daughter being your best friend is... not great. Especially if you're not done raising her yet

[@zoelopez1426]

@@greendiamondglow my mum says I am her best friend!!! Damn now you’re making me feel bad, I am 22 tho and we really only became best friends once I was fully grown

[@SocialExperiment232]

@@zoelopez1426this is fine. The problem is that Lorelai demands a kind of equality in their relationship that isn’t fair considering Rory is a teenager. She breaks down emotionally and expects Rory to fix it and take care of her which again, not fair cause she’s just a child.

[@Cherry_picks]

Just found your videos about GG. I grew up with this show and it's my comfort watch. (I do get the majority of the references tho and it's a lot of fun when you do :) ). A few things on Rory: There's a comment Lorelai makes towards the end of season 7, when Rory doesn't get the Times internship. it's along the lines of Rory is used to getting what she wants. And I realised that, yes, through the entire show, she gets whatever she wants. She gets 'the new guy' when Dean becomes her boyfriend. She gets into Chilton, even though she technically didn't belong there. She then gets Jess when she wants him. She gets in all 3 Harvard, Princeton and Yale although technically she is underprepared (meltdown at the beginning of season 2 when she realises she has no extra curriculars). She even gets Logan to be her boyfriend although he's not the girlfriend type. She quits Yale with no real consequence cause her grandparents take her in. She complains at one point about her community services being a full time job which is a joke. She gets 300 hours to be completed in 6 months which is like 12 hours a week. people in the USAwork full time at leas 40 hours a week. Everyone in her life failed so much at prepping her for real life - the one that comes with 'no's and rejections and hardship. Even in the revival she can fall back on moving back home or moving in her grandparent's house. I am also incredibly surprised by the fact that Rory doesn't have a job as a teen. Lane works at her mum's shop, Dean works as a bag boy. She's the only one without a job, although she lives in a single income household. They do mention her helping at the inn from time to time but nothing consistent. Kinda surprised by Lorelai not wanting to teach her about work ethics given she'd been working since she was 16 and progressed from the very bottom to the top on her own. It's also kinda funny how Paris says at the end of season 3 that she looked up high school valedictorians and they don't necessarily do well in life. That came out pretty true in the revival, especially compared to the career Paris made for herself. Also on the revival - Rory keeps saying she's broke. What happened with the trust fund that Richard mentions in season 6 - he talks to Lorelai about changing the terms of her trust fund to be on condition of her return to Yale rather than when she turns 25. But that never happened so technically that trust fund was indeed available to her when she turned 25. Where did the money go?! I also completely agree that Logan was the best boyfriend for her and that's actually how I found your videos.

[@BirdOnATypwriter]

I think that one of her main problems that isn't very much talked about is that she is very unflexible. Remember the Episode with the learning tree? Not just did it show, as many pointed out already, a growing tendency to solve her problems with money, but also that she is set in her ways. And it makes sense considering how chaotic her early childhood must have been. Her father was a deadbeat and her mother was a teenager with (and that's more my assumption here) mental health issues who worked a minimum wage job and lived in a small garden shed. She probably needed to fall back on rigid routines to give herself a sense of control. We especially see that inflexibility in her future plans. She had this one dream since she was a little girl and she spent all of her life pursuing it, a big part of her identity was wrapped up in it, so of course if someone, especially someone as influential as Mitchum Huntzberger, tells her she might not make it, she crumbles. Not just was he questioning what was a big part of her self identity, but also her only plan she has for the future and I think she is terrified of not having a plan.

[@jbcatz5]

It also shows in her relationships, things have to be on her terms or she gets upset. Dean had negative traits applied to him so he seemed the unreasonable one (giving her the cold shoulder over not saying “I love you” back for example or his temper being easily triggered by Jess, who delighted in triggering it), but Rory was the one having the emotional affair with Jess everyone could see except for her.

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

Loving the updo with flowers hair styling in this video, very spring! 🙂

[@gravity-arbor]

I think the backdrop looks great too.

[@SerenaSkybourne]

My favourite season 💐🌸

[@lindseystein9676]

After the first season, I don’t think they had enough positives to outweigh her flaws. They made her too flawed for the main character, in my opinion. They also kept the narrative that she’s the greatest most beloved gal of the town. Maybe if they embraced her brattyness and entitlement? Or added more positive aspects. I don’t think privilege is an excuse, I think she’s just a not good person. I grew up in similar circumstances and don’t have such a sense of entitlement and am not so rude to people

[@lindseystein9676]

And I’m not saying anyone has to be perfect and nice, but the level of entitlement and rudeness can be over the top with Rory. Some balance or the occasional self awareness/apologies would have been more interesting.

[@ninefourninethree]

The downfall started with how Lorelai and everyone around in her life constantly put her on this perfection pedestal. Which most likely started far before we ever get to “meet” the Gilmore girls. We just watch it play out over time with her grandparents and boyfriends. Her entitlement comes from being told she’s perfect and can do no wrong. Then as she grows and inevitably makes mistakes, she doesn’t know how to take accountability and learn from her wrong doings because she was never taught how and never called out for bad behavior until she started making mistakes that Lorelai and others could no longer make excuses for. By that point in her adult life, her character, as a person, was already well molded and her arch never came. This is why it is important to allow children to make mistakes and teach them how to navigate the consequences in a healthy way. It starts from birth. Now we get into generational character flaws from Lorelai being a teen mom, her trauma, Emily and Richard’s parenting style due to their traumas, etc etc. The rabbit hole goes around the world and back again lol.

[@avi.chan23]

These are all good and valid points, you made, and a really great addition to your first video. I still like Rory, for the same reasons you brought up: she is kind of relateable and interesting because she causes so much drama and don´t even recognize the harm she is causing. She is indeed an aweful character and in real life, she would be the last person I would want to have as a friend. Rory gives us and all her haters the possibility to actually look down on the pretty, smart and entitled little miss-perfect. We usually cannot look down on these type of people, because they are out of reach and we mostly do not know, what really happens in their lifes behind closed doors. Seeing Rory fail in basically everything she does is kind of satisfying for a lot of people, because, lets be honest, in the opinion of most people, she did not deserve to have the perfect happy ending after all. At the same time, she is like a mirror for our own flaws and bad decisions, we feel kind of uncomfortable, when seeing her fat shaming others, but even if most of us do not say it out loud, pretty much everyone had a moment in life seeing another person and thinking to themselve "Oh my god, did you even look in the mirror before leaving home? Can´t you take some care of yourself?" and it is just after that, that we have a second thought like "What the heck do I even know about this persons life? Maybe some illness, bad childhood, whatever horrible thing might have happened to them... I shouldn´t be so arrogant!". It´s not easy to admit, but I have these situations and I turned 39 and I know by far, that I am not a beauty or super skinny or whatever and still, I walk through the world, judging people and afterwards correcting myself in an inner monologue, feeling bad for being a bad person... That Rory lacks every bit of self awareness and reflection on her actions is maybe the most annoying part. It would be even more enjoyable, if she would come to the point realizing how aweful as character she really is and after that, working on herself to finally become a decent human being. This would actually be a great sequel I would enjoy to watch.

[@corridawn3851]

I love when the main characters aren't good people or do bad things. Rebecca in Crazy Ex Girlfriend was masterfully made. Good Girls does it really well too, if you haven't seen it I highly suggest you check it out because I think you'd love it. My issue with Rory as a character is that I'm not entirely sure if her downfall was intentional or not. It's hard for me to tell if we were still supposed to be rooting for her. It seemed as if the writers were framing things in her favor at times, even when she was clearly in the wrong. If they intended for her to be insufferable, entitled, lazy, and a serial cheater by the end, then they succeeded and she's a great character. But if they wanted us to agree with her and all of her excuses for her actions, I think they dropped the ball on her.

[@aquari.fairiie]

I just want to point out that the Gilmore money was NOT the only reason Rory got into Chilton. It was the reason she was able to attend Chilton, but it wasn’t a contributing factor of how or why she got into Chilton. She got in because of her own grades and achievements. Also, Lorelai paid her parents back for Chilton. I agree with pretty much everything you said, but to say that Rory only got into Chilton because of her grandparents money completely ignores the hardwork she did to get accepted into the school.

[@liliebilie]

I think if they’d shown Rory feeling more remorseful and judging her own actions a bit more ppl would like her more. If we got to see more of Rory’s inner mental dialogue when she make these terrible decisions. It would make her more relatable

[@katevenhorst1723]

For me, it wasn’t so much what Rory did that upset me it’s how she reacted to what she did. Rory’s character needed spicing up (personally, I don’t think she needed this kind of spice but oh well). I get people make mistakes, she’s a human being. But…Sleeping with a married Dean, she went full delulu saying “he was my Dean first” and “he took the ring off” even when she realized what she did was wrong (seeing Lindsey fretting over the roast in the butcher’s shop, they clearly weren’t “over” like Dean said) she slept with him again and fled to Europe with her Grandmother. When she did write him she had her MOTHER deliver the note and did not say what were doing is wrong, she just said she’d take herself out of the mix. She never really felt properly horrible. If, once Rory saw Lindsey and Dean clearly weren’t “over”, she approached Dean like “You lied to me. I know you guys are still together. If you don’t tell Lindsey, I will.” I feel like so many people wouldn’t hate her.

[@urmamajoe]

making mistakes is vital for character development, but i think for me it started to feel like rory was making mistake after mistake and wasn’t ever really learning from any of them.. she always found a way to justify herself or her path. for me it felt inhumane, to have such little guilt/remorse for your actions even for the little things. especially in comparison to lorelei who was someone who made plenty mistakes and acknowledged them. she was put on a pedestal by her family from the get-go, receiving constant praise. she was never taught how to handle real life- in real life people won’t like you, sometimes you fuck up and it’s okay to admit that. it just felt like she never put the pieces together herself. her character never got fully developed. it didn’t feel whole or complete. Rory is an amazing character and doesn’t deserve to be absolutely hated. For me, the most frustrating thing is all the missed potential in all of this, for the show to admit the mistakes of her upbringing. for HER to admit her mistakes, to put her own peices together. and while there were attempts to do so it was never fully fletched, it went in one ear out the other. it isn’t the mistake that makes the person it’s the moments of reflection after the fact, when you are down stuck by yourself forced to look at yourself. the true shame is all this missed potential.

[@DeadlyNyghtShayde]

I will possibly add to or even change this depending on the video, but at 4:50 there is one point I would like to make! Rory annoys me, I don't hate her, though. I think she's entitled, but that's just me being classist from a working class perspective. But you just mention how she wasn't thinking that Logan was a bad influence on her, or how shes hanging out with a different crowd, and didn't speak to anyone about not liking who she's becoming. Richard and emily corrupt hwr, etc. My main issue is laid out exactly in the phrasing used there - not specifically against you! But you encapsulate it perfectly. "Logan is a bad influence" "Richard and Emily corrupted her" Throughout the show, we see Rory explore different avenues through spending time with people outside of Lorelai who give her access to it. It starts with her boyfriends - apple pie life with Dean, a punky renegade with Jess, a debutante experience thanks to her grandparents. A beautiful one from the 20s with Logan, right down to the secret society. And she takes bits and pieces of these things, keeps what she likes - that's fine. But in discussion, usually its the person who she was with when she explored those avenues who is blamed. "Jess was a punk who stole her away from Dean" she was a willing participant. All 3 times shes been involved in cheating, she was a willing participant. She sought out debutante experiences and those aspects of high society. She wanted to be recognized as better than average solely because of her last name. And she wanted to pick and choose pieces of each of these ways of life. And the response to these in universe, and often out, is to say "x was a bad influence." The best examples are the car crash with Jess and stealing a boat with Logan. Jess is the only time she really seems to even want to try to take some kind of blame. But the yacht was her idea, Logan was behaving by that point. And people - in universe and out - still blame Logan

[@DeadlyNyghtShayde]

Yeah, after watching, I still feel the same. My issue, personally, is not that I don't like what I see of myself in her, or that I don't understand how well shes written. My issue is that the few times she faces consequences for her choices, it is supposed to read as over the top. Any time she does something bad, the characters around her bend over backwards to blame anyone but her. When she show starts, she is still trying to claim blame for her actions. By the time she meets Logan, however, she seems to feed into the "influence" narrative herself, and that's when my patience for her is mostly gone.

[@liallialcroc]

its a big pet peeve of mine when people blame the person whos not even in a relationship the most in cheating scandals. Dean is WAYYYY more to blame than Rory, he knew what he was doing, he was the one who was married so he shouldve been the one to say no. when youre married theres always gonna be attractive people outside of your marriage flirting with you, your job as a married person is to say no.

[@SerenaSkybourne]

Of course I agree, but in this case the video is about Rory and not Dean. But he’s the worst too

[@liallialcroc]

@@SerenaSkybourne yes! and i think you did a fantastic job with it! i understand this isnt a video about Dean. i thought my opinion was relevant because people seem to put all the blame on Rory and i think its cause of what you said in the video about people really loving to hate Rory

[@jusssable]

Here's my two cents :) I also like Rory. I think, nobody taught her the basic morals etc because as I see it, she was parentified in this quirky mother-daughter-relationship. In a lot of scenes, even before she turns 18, she is the responsible "adult" one, who gets up on time, shows up on time, etc and has to wake her mom up. She's basically raising herself, while being held to standards of perfection. Ironically, although parentified children are very responsible, when they grow up, they tend to lack responsibility. Also, I had the feeling that Rory rebelled against Lorelai's expectations of her (being a perfect girl, excelling in academics, etc), just as much as Lorelai rebelled against her own parents when she was a teenager. I would even go as far to say that Lorelai is just as much a controlling mother as Emily was. Her control tactics simply look different than Emily's and they are more subtle. All in all, the show is actually representing the same toxic cycles happening all over again, just in a different generation and that being said the show holds a lot potential for drama and is simultaneously very realistic. Most families don't make it to break out of dysfunctional dynamics.

[@23magneta]

I was parentified since I was 5 and am able to take responsibility for my own actions. I had to change my childhood dream in my early 20s and was able to adapt. Rory is the way she is because she was babied and sheltered from life’s difficulties.

[@allysonennis200]

I actually preferred Rory in the beginning of the series because I related to her more. I wouldn’t call her perfect in the first season - she was shy and insecure, perhaps a little too hard on herself, overly hard working and anxious about the future. The further we got in the series, the less I understood her and her actions.

[@Trey-s6r]

Well, what can I say. We are constantly saying that we don't like the epitomy of "perfect and flawless female characters" and at the same time we constantly judge female characters for every flaw they have. Rory is a well written character with many flaws. It's funny how people hate a character of a young woman who go downfall with her life but can praise male characters like Homelander or Walter White. I really think we haven't nearly similar standard with male and female characters.

[@JillHope-Bailie-xt5gw]

I do agree with you about Rory specially when she moves in with her Grandparents how they treat her the same as they did with Lorelai. She changed when she went to Chilton and her grandparents . I wish instead of her dropping out of Yale she tried other subjects to improve herself and see if was on the right path. Everyone makes out that Logan was so good he was not yes he showed her to try new things . Logan and all the boys her grandparents invited around were entitled rich children who knew whatever they did like stealing and drinking and being rude was better than Lorelai trying to bring Rory up a better person

[@MaricaAmbrosius]

I like her. You're right, basically, for sixteen years she was a big fish in a small pond and enjoyed reading Classic novels and advanced material. It created a kind of arrogance in her that isn't mean-spirited, but makes her take her own intellectual superiority for granted. I was a bit like that, no point in denying it. Kinda grew out of it by thirty-two, but the revival plot wasn't very updated from what season 8 would have been, and it would have been funnier if she had been 23.

[@YukiLeiu]

I’m not perfect, I’ve done a few of the things I criticize Rory for, I just don’t like her attitude about things. It’s a personal reason so it pertains to how I think and feel. She reminds me of Emily on how they somehow become the sole victim in situations they created themselves. I do like her as a character I just don’t enjoy her default reactions. It’s hard for me to understand how she was ever humble because she was kinda “not like the other girls” that seems fun when your that age yourself but you’d hope someone would grow out of by college. (In real life some people never do)

[@thaisporto284]

About the revival: I don't why NOBODY gets that Rory doesn't fail professionally. When the revival ends, he's about to publish "Gilmore Girls", that is so obvious is about to be the break through of her carreer, Just as the series was the break through of Amy Palladino's carreer. And the fact that the idea for the book came from Jess, Rory's intelectual soul mate was so sweet. I don't understand why people don't seem to notice that. She's not a failure, she's about to become a successful writer. It's so obvious te me that that was Amy's intended with the hole "gilmore girls" book idea. And the last line: mom, i'm pregnant. Narrative rhyme. Genious.

[@jbcatz5]

Rory didn’t have much opportunity to learn to deal with adversity in such a way she could develop ways to effectively handle it. None of the adults in Stars Hollow were harsh on her (Mrs Kim tolerates her but that’s her when she’s not annoyed or helicopter parenting Lane), indeed they doted on her and she doesn’t deal with a bully in Stars Hollow. Paris is the first proper rival Rory has who she is motivated to keep up with, and there are many time Paris’s story sounds more interesting than Rory’s because she does have to deal with issues such as her absent parents (the Portuguese nanny being more a maternal figure). Sheltered is a better term to use than spoiled because she doesn’t have to deal with consequences (and when she does people usually assume she’s the victim, something she actually has issue with when Jess crashes the car and she gets all the sympathy). It’s quite telling at Rory’s 16th birthday party in Stars Hollow most of the people there are adults, Lane is the only peer she has. No other teens, Dean stops by later and they meet outside, meaning Rory doesn’t have the social education to match her academic education (being the Stars Hollow version of Lisa Simpson can’t have helped her social life). It’s not until Dean and Jess when she has other people her own age to hang out with.

[@AHufflepuffAndASwiftie]

But I think she DID like Tristian, and if he had remained in the show longer, I think she WOULD have gone out with him eventually. I think Jess was brought in as sorta a replacement for Tristian--at least initially--then Jess gradually became a bigger character, but I think, at first he was brought on just as Tristian's replacement . . . You know, troubled teen with a difficult home life. A VERY different home life, financially speaking, to be sure, but a very similar backstories, nonetheless . . . And they both fall for the beautiful, “perfect” girl who makes them think they can be “more”, too . . . That's just what I think. 😉

[@alyzu4755]

You hit it right on the head with a good character being very different ftom a good person. I don't know how many people would call Walter White a good person, but he's a FANTASTIC character. And I DO think we're harder on female characters than male. Going back to the early 2000's, we didn't have social media but we had tabloid magazines and TV. And the standard of thinness was absolutely ridiculous. I lived in L.A at the time and a lot of young women starved themselves. Literally living on cigarettes, coffee, and Adderall, then spending 2-3 hours a day in the gym. I remember one of the tv entertainment "news" shows airing a paparazzi photo of Britney Spears hanging out by her own pool. She was drinking a can of Coke and the narrator said "Maybe a DIET Coke, Britney? Just sayin'". It was absolutely disgusting, but also the norm.

[@jasper3033]

After watching your part 1 recently I was hoping for this video!

[@MaluCLBS]

Ok, so we know Lorelai decided to raise her daughter like her best friend, to have a completely different style of parenting than Emily and Richard. Unfortunately, both views are opposites, and all extremes are bad. So even if Lorelai raised Rory differently than Emily and Richard, her parenting style (plus the privilege of being a Gilmore) would badly affect Rory, who grew up to be a directionless adult who seeks comfort in her former boyfriend’s arms. I think what the writers wanted to communicate is that the best parenthood is a balance between fun and discipline, or else new generations are doomed to be in a loop of becoming their parents in the worst way possible (hence why a lot of the characters end up very much like their parents… Jess is the only one that comes to mind as an exception) And I think that’s a really sad, but realist message for an otherwise comforting show.

[@Soprano1638]

I'm interested in the views some have about the townspeople fawning over Rory. Like Rory I did not have my father around growing up - my extended family, grandparents treated me in a way which is not miles away from how Rory was addressed. They told me that I was important, that they believed in me, that I'd be successful. I never felt my father's absence or felt bereft of love for that reason. And now, at 31 - nearly Rory's age in YITL - I find I am one of the most hardworking people that I know of. Their words of encouragement kept me strong and energised me when studies and work were extremely tough, I feel I otherwise truly would have given up. I hate to think where I would have been without that support from my multiple, surrogate parents. Rory's lack of a father will explain why people continued to bolster her even when she acted like a brat, she definitely needed a kick up the butt, but I also feel she was better off overall for receiving the community's support

[@clarissearaujo1800]

The first time I saw this series I was about 17 years old and I (like Rory in the first seasons) believed that my whole life would be easy for being an intelligent person, and many times I came to feel with a superior morality for getting good grades, growing up with the mentality of: "I'm smart therefore I'm better than you" is unsustainable when you get to the real world, I think Rory never got out of that mentality, she always felt she was a better person than others and many times her very privilege fed those ideas. I agree that she is a good character, but it would have been nice if the reboot would have given her a real opportunity to do some introspection and finally growp up of the golden child era.

[@queen_butterfly_1]

I think her not taking anything away from Lorelai lecturing her about cheating, is that she doesn't see Lorelai as a motherfigure that can give legit advice and tell her things she doesn't know yet... I think the fact that Lorelai tried to be more of a friend to her for most of her life and the fact that Rory kinda needed to be Lorelais mother in numerous occasions, made Lorelais word in situation like this absolute void... Rory didn't need to listen to Lorelai, cause she was the "adult" one anyways, so no need to listen to Lorelai lecturing her... Rory was probably convinced that most of the time she knows better anways 🤷 So if Lorelai says something she doesn't like to hear, it's just wrong in her mind... 🤷

[@DBTSLALUFC]

Can't wait for your TVD/TO video essays to come out! 😀😊

[@isabelcarvajal7591]

I think the cheating thing with Rory relates to her low self worth and deep insecurities…maybe related to her Dad’s absence? I think she also tried to become more like Emily to become more suitable to the high society that Logan’s family felt she wasn’t good enough because she was raised by her rebellious outcast mom and she wanted to be a working woman. Therefore, she tried to become the more “acceptable” and “proper” among high society to be accepted by Logan, the boyfriend she idolized so much. I also feel she had a very toxic dynamic with him, like almost feeling like he was better, cooler than her. Like she searched for his love, even though she saw how disinterested/noncommittal he was at first because she was trying to convince him of her worth.

[@xeshacinds]

omg so excited for this one!! 🫶🏽

[@SerenaSkybourne]

Me too! 💅

[@Nof-u1f]

Regarding her relationships with men, during the series her mother was engaged three times - once she ran away before the wedding without informing her fiancé, a second time she cheated on her fiancé, a third time there was a wedding with Rory's father - which she did not get to attend - and ended in a quick divorce. On her father's side, there was also an engagement while cheating on his fiancee, and then a birth and abandonment by the mother. You can understand why she does not believe in and respects the institution of marriage.

[@ItsJustChristmasCookie]

5:04 I dont think there is a lack of self-awareness. Rory is aware of everything. She choose an elite school, and elite private high school, choose to enjoy the perks from her grandparents, choose Logan and his friends. She choose all this and LIKED it. If she didn't she would have spent all her free time in stars hallow or at least with Paris or other friends.

[@mariaferreirasilva6684]

I always thought it was weird that Rory never defended Lorelei when Richard and especially Emily were nasty to her, because the whole reason Lorelei was putting herself in the uncomfortable position of being with her parents every Friday night was to pay for school for Rory, and Rory never thought to be like "hey maybe don't say that to my mother who has worked incredibly hard to raise me"

[@dianaszuts398]

Oh, a Gilmore videooo❤ I can't wait to watch it! Also, yet again, not the point, but I love your dress! I also would add that Rory was a bit short minded, especially if you compare her to Lorelai, for example. I was always the reading kid, and the writer kid and I hope I will never stop being her - but Rory never understood that the opportunity to read is a privalage, and not automaticly something which place you abouve everybody else. Her conversation with Bobby is a perfect representation of that.

[@LunarWind99]

I really love that they made Rory's character seem so much more real and relatable as the season progressed, although, and to paraphrase this from a Gilmore girls podcast I watched recently, I think that they humanised Rory's character just a little too much 😂 like I'm not sure if its just me but at a certain point I was like, surely her downfall will be over soon...right? I felt like the writers milked her downfall era way too much 🤣😅 (feel free to disagree with me, I'm interested to hear others thoughts.)

[@ChandnaBear]

I've always kind of pointed to the moment that she changed her mind to go to Yale and not hardvard, with the influence of her grandparents. I also think she maybe struggled as she did not have a stable father figure in her life 💌

[@Soprano1638]

Serena, you look absolutely beautiful and so summery ❤ hard agree with what you said about some people knowing they'd do the same in Rory's situation. I realise much of the Rory "hate" is predicated on a year in the life which I refuse to believe is cannon😩 I think Amy Sherman must have been trying to annoy somebody, to have assassinated Rory's character this way 😭

[@justabitofamug6989]

I really relate to rory and am also jealous of her at the same time. I have well-off parents, but now ive finished university im unemployed and dependant on benefits because i have mental health issues and finding a job is so hard. I relate to her struggles in season 6 and 7 when she's graduating and not sure what to do with her life- but then i look at her and i think she has a rich boyfriend who wants to marry her, a trust fund when she turns 25, and several job opportunities in a competitive field that is her dream job. And i think "wow, this is what i could do if i didnt have mental health problems". Its that kind of feeling that shes wasting her privilege

[@haniamoktadir9504]

People dislike Rory so much because we like to see bad things happen to bad people when they don't see themselves as bad. Nothing ever came back around to Rory. In the end, she got everything she ever wanted even though she didn't deserve any of it. She's the same kind of person who wins in the real world- entitled, wealthy, nothing special. It's a hard pill to swallow in real life and in the show too. That's how I'd surmise it succinctly as possible

[@reann4233]

Damn this literally changed my perspective. Thank you

[@angeliprimlani9389]

So I’m going to put out there a radical idea: with the exception of one thing (Paul, because wut?) I don’t think Rory in The Year in the Life is a failure. She just feels like a failure, which is making her self-sabotage. Journalism as a profession has kind of gone tits up for everyone involved. We’re meant to believe that she was freelancing and until recently was able to afford an apartment in Brooklyn. By herself. I mean okay she’s a trust fund kid, but she is also 32. So she’s been working at something. Maybe she was at some industry publication, maybe she was working as a stringer. But since she’s an experienced political reporter in an election year during a presidential election, I think she’s probably up against a lot of similar candidates in a profession that has steadily shrunk since 2005. She’s not a failure. She’s just like most people in the field in 2016. She’s competing for a dwindling pool of jobs. Her problem is that she won’t join the rest of the thirty something gang because they’re all having the same problems. She doesn’t want to admit she’s in trouble. Maybe she thinks she’s better than them but you know what she is writing for the New Yorker, maybe it’s not time to quit yet and round and round she goes. She’s not a failure, the profession changed (I have a similar rant about how Lane isn’t a failure either since she’s living the life most working musicians live in real life.) I think the one thing I might have done differently is instead of writing a book, to have her discover a way to turn the Gazette around, put it online, get some funding, find a way to see the dignity and desperate need for local journalism. I could even get on board with the cheating and the love child if she saw a way to put her experience to work giving back to Stars Hollow. Maybe this would be the “touch grass” moment you talk about where she sees chasing big time success as her old dream and building something new as a new dream. Ah okay this is my fanfic ending of Year in the Life. Rory finds a purpose beyond demanding that Lorelei just give up her privacy so she can be a famous author. (In reality book publishing is worse than journalism.)

[@laceyjo89]

I think that a lot of the Rory critique is ppl revisiting the show when they originally watched it while younger, and so their opinion on her changed massively from what they remember, so they feel quite strongly in the other direction. I'd also say that the revival soured ppl on her more. Her flaws in the OG show were able to be excused due to her youth, and perhaps her flaws like fatshaming ppl were accepted more of a sign of the times when it was written, and didn't imagine her to say those things as well in the revival. She regressed a lot in the revival, and i think that ppl would have been more comfortable with that if the narrative seemed to think that she did, but i think many were of the opinion that it wasn't intentional on the writers' behalf for Rory to come across that way.

[@carolinekirkpatrick3497]

It is definitely a balancing act wanting an exciting character vs. a moral character. I admittedly enjoyed the later seasons more, but at the same time, how devastated would most of our lives be if they collided with Rory’s in the later season. The school drop out crisis is relatable, but most of us find someone who would sleep with our husband as a devastating human being. Being entertained by a show and having someone do these things in real life are two totally different things. I feel the Palladinos didn’t create proper lines between protagonists and their moral boundaries.

[@chvp4605]

Basically I think we all kind of agree but we do state in different ways and have different observations but I think the point is that Rory isn't unlikeable because she is human and makes mistakes but because no one will make her face the consequences of her actions. She is always idolized even though she is just like anyone else at an Ivy University, she can't handle the pressures of real life and doesn't have to yet still thinks she's independent and has no backup plans. She's a hypocrite, judging others for acting the same way she does with the same financial situation she takes advantage of. And even her upbringing as a child might not have been luxurious but i don't know many children who have a whole town obsessed with them, doing them favors and who get to eat out at a diner and order takeout every freaking day. Unlikeable characters are fine but i can't tolerate everyone acting like they're perfect.

[@CathiaCutsson]

I was bullied by people like Rory, so no, I'm not disliking her because she's like me. Sweet, nice, innocent faces, saying one or two remarks, that were so innocent, but they were aimed at me. And for me cheating was the last straw - Dean is not blameless and I can get "the heat of the moment", but it wasn't just one night stand. No. Though I agree, that makes her a more interesting character :)

[@ClarissaMcLaughlin]

I think that’s where we differ, I adored season 1 Rory, she was my favorite which is why I don’t like her later. (I also don’t particularly like drama.) She just became so annoying to me. All the other female characters flaws make them fun and interesting to watch but Rory’s mistakes are so catastrophic and stupid they just make me cringe. I related to season 1 Rory as a kid and was afraid I was doomed to end up like her and by the end she was no longer relatable to me. I dont blame her for everything because a lot of it was due to her upbringing so I think it’s realistic, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t annoy me.

[@gabrielleduplessis7388]

I could relate to the burn out. From prek-to finishing my master’s degree this year, I went to school. God bless summer vacations for school. College was difficult because I had to take summer classes, but doing 6+ years of community college, getting my bachelor’s degree, and my master’s degree with very few breaks, I felt like I had senoritis all of the time. So if she needed a semester off, I get that, but it is important to not get complacent.

[@itscherylplayz8925]

Remember when she paid that guy to go sit somewhere else because that was HER spot like girl what😭

[@k.johnson1256]

Rory was always sort of...insipid. In fact, I thought Logan was too charismatic for her. In general I think I watched the show more for Luke and Lorelei, and to a lesser extent Richard and Emily. Remember when Lorelei's parents showed up to her business school graduation with a professional cameraman? They were given many sweet moments like that, that people skip over. And I thought it was pretty crappy of Rory to ghost her grandparents after they catered to her during her personal breakdown - to the best of their old-fashioned ability. I love Emily's rant in the airplane. :) Rory? Not my favourite.

[@Sara.Brandt.Autorin]

I would love to see a deep dive of Bones or Orphan Black. Also, I was thinking if the books Rory read, like Anna Karenina, Madame Bovary… foreshadowed the cheating.

[@scattered9brain]

I checked ur channel b4 i sleep to see if there was a new vid now i saw the notification im sooo happyyyy

[@babyvenom3626]

i think that Rory just didn't want it. i think lorlia told her she could do anything, so she decided to a journalist and forcused on working instead of if she actually wanted so it makes sense that she wanted to drop out because she didnt really want to be there, if that makes sense

[@Esh486]

Rory could be so childish sometimes. The way she excused sleeping with a married man "he was my Dean first"... like seriously? are you 5 and someone took your toy? She's definitely very entitled in many ways

[@suzannescorner199]

I agree that the Rory hate comes particularly from people knowing they would do the same things she did. I'd even say that people hate Rory because of jealousy. Like yeah - I would love to look perfect like Rory and Lorelei and get into Yale because of connections. Perhaps I could act morally superior since I don't even have her options.

[@carolinekirkpatrick3497]

Lorelai actually told Rory that having an affair with Logan is way sluttier than having a one night stand. It wasn’t as big of a speech as why she shouldn’t have slept with Dean, but she did not approve of the affair with Logan.

[@Cschuster05]

What made Rory the prettiest girl in stars hollow? I never thought she was all that pretty she was cute sure but the prettiest?

[@Sandra-Gibora]

I absolutely loved your analysis as well as many of the comments, many of them were definitely long reads but totally worth it. Reading this in May of 2024 there is one big difference. No one in his right mind would want his child to go to Yale or Harvard anymore now. Both diplomas have been rendered worse than useless now, as potential employers have begun to point out quite openly. It has a lot to do with academia not leading to a critical mind and therefore added value. I must say that I thought of Rory a few times recently. It would have made for interesting episodes to see what Rory would have done in May of 2024, if she was still at school.

[@serenehamze3798]

I think one of the reasons people hate Rory so much is that the narrative of the show still tries to portray Rory as perfect even though she is very obviously not. The characters still fawn over her and she gets everything that she wants without having to try hard if she tries at all. It's annoying to the audience when a character is so obviously fucking up or is in the wrong but the show refuses to actually acknowledge it in the writing of the show. It's the same thing that happened with Elena in The Vampire Diaries, Joey from Dawson's Creek, and Serena from Gossip Girl to name a few. All these characters are viewed as the "perfect girl" in the show and they all have similar traits. They are supposedly good at everything, all the men are in love with them, there are no consequences for their actions and they get everything they want. The show wants the audience to root for them simply because they have been named the perfect girl but fail to realise that the audience doesn't want a perfect character but flawed characters who work to better themselves and their circumstances in substantial ways. This is shown in how the audience almost always ends up hating these "perfect" characters and instead roots for the characters that often get the short end of the stick in their shows because the writers have named them not good enough or bad people (often because these girls are considered the "sluts" of the show). The writers allow these characters to be flawed and they actually work on themselves throughout the show and have character development which is why they're more enjoyable to watch and are actually loved by the audience. This happened with Caroline/Bonnie/Katherine from The Vampire Diaries, Jen from Dawson's Creek and Blair from Gossip Girl.

[@GrouchyC794]

I personally don’t hate rory personality I hate the fact it’s never called out

[@bibliofiliafull]

I don't mind that Rory has flaws, as any human being, but what bothers me is that the show never really makes her deal with the consequences and everything is just solved rather easily.

[@jbcatz5]

It would have been interesting if more had been done with Rory being a bridge between the small town Stars Hollow life and the demanding high society of her grandparents when they became an active part of her life. We get this early on, Rory coming to things her grandparents present with a much more open mind than her mother (the golf club episode for example) and seeing the class conflict from being on both sides.

[@maxon1712]

personally i know people like rory who i don’t like so idk if that’s why i don’t like her

[@lovefromwonderland]

I think the problem I have with Rory is that she doesn’t grow as a character and learn from her mistakes. In fact she heavily regresses in terms of character. I can definitely see where you’re coming from when it comes to hating on female characters (Skyler White is one example) but Rory I think people have a genuine reason to dislike.

[@ashleighlalonde6394]

Honestly, while I do think the grand parents and Lorelai played a huge part in what Rory becomes, Stars Hollow also had a lot to do with it. The townspeople adore Rory and never hold her accountable for her mistakes. They will even blame her mistakes on other people at times, or give her an out for her behavior. It makes a lot of sense why she ends up exactly where she started, in a town where she can do no wrong, after hitting the hard wall of reality that exists outside Stars Hollow.

[@likeylia]

i think one of the reasons rory feels so inclined to sleep with men in committed relationships is because she saw that christopher wanted lorelai no matter who he was with/how lorelai always ran to him when she had troubles so rory expected that from her relationships

[@araine5404]

people would do the same as her but we hate her for it bc she doesn’t have to live any of the consequences for her actions - her lack of self awareness and how her loved ones coddle her is irritating. But that is why the older years are so interesting bc its like “wow u genuinely believed you could make all these mistakes and the whole world would still think you’re great”

[@araine5404]

sure lots of ppl are cheaters but some people get beat up for that 😭 yeah a lot of people do petty crimes in college but a lot of ppl’s lives would be completely ruined as a result 😭

[@vincent3275]

Always love ur analysis!

[@OfficialSTJones]

You make some great points in this video. I’m not a Rory hater. I don’t really like her in seasons 4b-6 or most of the Revival. I actually don’t mind her too much in a large part of season 5 either after she got together with Logan. The show wouldn’t be the same without her. Yeah, Rory has cheated on all of her boyfriends except for Jess interestingly.

[@GrouchyC794]

What I love about fics is they actually call out characters actions and give critiques so they can improve and gilmore girls just refused to do that the girls were never called out

[@angelaholmes8888]

The reason I don't like rory is because at times she's never looked at her bad behavior and learned from it especially now in her 30,s at this point she totally should do some self reflecting

[@SocialExperiment232]

She spent her childhood having to be the responsible one cause her mom was still acting like a teenager by her 30s so it’s only natural it would take Lori a longer time to mature out of her irresponsible phase. Her character is actually perfectly normal.

[@zoebass1754]

she is right though, i wouldn't call my self a bad person necessarily because i do care about how people feel but i can still be very judgmental and talk about people behind their backs. even decent people aren't angels

[@zenriboakwon2921]

A little late to the party, but I agree that Rory being given flaws made her a better character. But I also think that people wouldn't have grown to hate her so much if this started with Chilton rather than Yale. Chilton likely admitted her after the start of the school year based on her name, Gilmore - it's established that the headmaster is friends with Richard and Emily. Have that be the basis for why she's bullied, have the teachers be hard on her and never praise her efforts like she was in Stars Hollow. Hell, instead of making her "Mary," have her be "Magdalene" considering who her mom is and how that likely affected Richard and Emily socially as well! Then at Yale, make it worse - make NO ONE give her any attention at all. No guys immediately falling in love or lust, no girls making her a rival and bullying target, no teachers praising or admonishing her. Honestly, I don't dislike Rory, I dislike the way she's treated by other characters and by the writers.

[@taejasper1343]

Ha! Serena, your content reminds me of Mina Le, covering fashion and trashy, trendy TV and movies, I love it so much! You're amazing, thank you so much! Keep it up, you're doing great! I love your content a lot!

[@triviumpolitico]

It wasn't a downfall. It was a liberation. Few people acknowledge this.

[@loveart429]

My top favourite channel ❤

[@paulettewirtz785]

Really good video!

[@Olha_Koshil]

Just started watching watching, too bad it's already half past midnight where I am so not sure if I finish it now BUT may I state that I saw her character development in the "cannon" 7 seasons as relatable and realistic. HOWEVER, oh my God, the revival! I was trying to watch the first episode and I gave up after 20 minutes because Rory's behaviour made me physically NAUSEOUS

[@user-bk9bs3oc8c]

unpopular opinion but i didn’t like logan at all in relationship with her. a lot of people said they liked it and then when i got introduced i didn’t like it. it’s like a guy who is perfect on paper for rory and anyone who watches it. Rich flirty bad boi who falls for rory and is easy going. idk it just felt too much planned somehow. of course it’s easy to like him and root for him bc any of us would date logan, it’s safe and comfortable bc he is -RICH-, open with her, similar work!!!!! it really felt forced and unrealistic to me. i think i liked dean and jess more bc idk they weren’t perfect, they had problems in their lives and how they were brought up and again don’t wanna make it about money but that they weren’t rich. and i ended up liking jess the most bc he def had issues but there was something real and natural about them, that i think they could have been a good slow burn as in growing up together with rory and maturing they could have finally be mature and good for each other and be endgame. and idk i felt like he challenged her more, shaked some beliefs of her, shattered her perfect persona in a way, her “perfect” life too, and no one could control him the way the whole town basically controlled dean when he started dating rory. so idk her and logan was just too easy too perfect for me, and no chemistry ksjdnfn. anyways i didnt watch all of it but i don’t like that the writers screwed up rory so much. atleast for the day on the life thingy, make her finally find something some purpose, be okay and be better in a new relationship. not completely fine but halfway going there. we don’t need hopelessness when we watch something. i am all for the realism and for making her feel lost but also it’s just so hopelesss to watch her still years later be the same and not doing better. like what kind of lesson is that, or inspiration?? i get that we can get lost but atleast we can find something that makes us feel good, is good in our life, we see things to get better, a new relationship and friends and lifestyle and idk it’s just hopeful for all us to see that in the show and feel hopeful for our own lives. so yeah rory deserved that i feel like after all those years, it would have been nice to see something positive.

[@zoelopez1426]

Fave channel has a new video on one of my fave shows, yes please

[@devonbananastar4170]

10:00 I have always wondered if the whole weight obsession in the media is mostly in the US? I haven't had the opportunity to travel out of the country yet (but going to Canada next week! eeeee!) and it just feels like a very american thing to comment and care so much on weight. idk, does anyone else from a different county see the nonstop weight bashing on celebs and what not?

[@k.johnson1256]

They comment on weight and appearance here in Greece. The difference is that people don't seem to get offended. 🤷‍♀️

[@Helga217]

The thing that annoys me the most about Rory is how scheming she is, it doesn't show right away, but gets worse as time goes on and in A Year in the Life she is by far the worst. Similarly, it is unbearable that she gets everything she desires without putting in any effort. All the people in her life rush to tell everyone and her how great she is, so she believes she doesn't have to work hard to get what she wants. Which is the opposite of what her mom has to go through and really most everyone else in these shows. Rory is also a terrible girlfriend and an even worse friend, so it constantly amazes me that she is always surrounded by both people who want to be her friends and men who want to be her partners. In the first series, Rory is the a much better personality and seems to care about others and do what it takes to get where she wants to go. So maybe she had a better personality before she started hanging out with her grandparents, but for some reason she lives on old fame which is unrealistic as eventually people like Lane and Paris would give up up on this so-called friend.