Gilmore Girls: The Insanely Detailed Retrospective You Needed

[@weronikalinda4917]

Richard letting Emily bully Lorelai makes so much sense when you see how he lets his mother bully Emily. He treats this abuse like entertainment or something that doesn't concern him, it doesn't even occur to him that he should intervene. About food: I can confirm that whenever I rewatch this show, my coffee and junk food consumption increases considerably lol On a more serious note, the way they used food on the show really bothers me, especially the #notlikeothergirls aspect of it. I physically cringe every time I watch the scene when Dean says to Rory that most girls don't eat (wtf). The writers did Lane so dirty making her end up with Zack, get married so young and immediately get pregnant with twins. She never got to realize her dreams and I understand that maybe it's realistic but still.

[@SerenaSkybourne]

I started getting obsessed with coffee over the last couple of months. A direct correlation to when i started watching GG. Coincidence? I think not :)

[@oooh19]

maybe most of the girls he knew were like that also he was younger and didnt know better or think too deeply about it. also men at any age usually wouldnt understand

[@aj7058]

Lane's story feels like a foil to the entire premise of the show. That Laurelai made such awful decisions yet everything turned out fine was always a bit grating but really wore on me as I got older. That Lane instead takes the least bad options and it never really works out is something. More realistic maybe? I dunno. I can't quite find the words. It does really suck though. Like she didn't even need to have some ridiculously good life or career success or anything. Just moving away from Star's Hollow and gaining independence and experiencing new music scenes would have been great to see, but obviously they needed to trap her there so that Rory would always have someone at home to fall back on.

[@ivy7982]

I agree the food aspect really bothers me I know they are fictional characters but the fact they are so physically fit looking and the show always notes to how slim they are it makes people think if I gain weight eating this then i must be abnormal especially if you are ingrained in the show and base your whole life off it subconsciously like I did- also rory is a horrible person in every way they way she treats lane in pity and like she’s less than her

[@oooh19]

@@ivy7982 you should still eat healthy to be healthy but it seems like everything is bad for you but as a thin person isnt it refreshing seeing women NOT worry about weight? doesnt mean they dont have other problems but that's one less problem! fat ppl bully thin ppl too!

[@trinaq]

I wish that Lane had received a better ending. Sure, she seemed happy enough married to Zack, and raising their twins in Stars Hollow, but it's bittersweet that she never left her home town, or became a rock star. But maybe that's realistic, in that life never really turns out quite like you planned.

[@fifi3649]

To me, it was not really about her not becoming a rockstar. That's quite realistic, as you pointed out. It rather feels bittersweet because she seems to have a really mediocre life compared to what everyone (the audience) expected her to achieve. She got married very early, became pregnant after her first time having sex (which she didn't even enjoy), had two unplanned babies, and ended up working with her mother in her antiques shop. In the revival, I got the feeling that she herself had kind of given up on achieving something better for herself. Given all her struggle for independence in the first seasons, the way she turned out was a little sad. If she at least had had a career in music (not necessarily as a rockstar, but maybe as the owner of a music shop or something like that) it maybe would feel different.

[@lpchambers3681]

While I wish I could Lane had the rocker happily ever after, I really enjoyed watching her shift her life and Zack, it felt realistic and not something I had seen often at the time. The revival has huge issues but I liked having the band just still jamming without fame, for music sake. The show kept walking the line for realism and fantasy, and Lane almost always fell in the realistic side, even though she was surrounded by everyone getting to have fantasy experience, it’s unfair to her, but matches the rest of the show, I guess..

[@stephjovi]

Agreed! Nothing wrong with her being married with kids. Not my life choice but why not. But getting pregnant with twins during her first time, that was just horrible, that was just doing her dirty 😭. She deserved a fun free life when she's finally out of her mum and her cult's clutches. Lane is my favourite character. She is such a good friend and Rory treats her so badly. I've been Lane all my life. Always there to listen, never anything to talk about.

[@stephjovi]

@@fifi3649 it's just so sad. Sure not everyone becomes a Rockstar but at least move, become a music teacher own a music shop, anything other than work in her mums store

[@cassandraxlove]

I like Zack but I don’t like him as a love interest for Lane

[@artsyswarley]

Idk why but it seems the writers were OBSESSED with every one of the younger characters ending up EXACTLY like their parents. Rory got pregnant unexpectedly, Lane had kids and took over the antique store, Logan ended up a rich asshole working for his dad, Paris ended up rich again in a failing marriage having her kids be brought up by a nanny, Jess ended up never being educated or having a solid home life, Dean ended up a family man in a small town. Like none of them went on to be anyone different from who their parents were. Maybe that makes sense for a few of them but ALL of them feels lazy and very pessimistic.

[@baybay3301]

Jess ended up a successful writer. He published books and in the episode when he meets Logan, Logan was making fun of his book you can see from there Jess's maturity because he said nothing to Logan and removed himself from the situation by leaving the dinner. He was the only one able to get through to Rori and made her return back to school. Especially in the revival, he seems to have he continued to publish more books, has a steady job, and is more successful than Rori. Jess did well for himself.

[@itspricila]

unfortunately its real life and thats what i like about it, like another comment said, jess did improve

[@mathenysabrina]

That's kinda life though. So many people I know don't break the cycle. Especially where I'm from, it's rare for people to be different from their parents. My great grandmother, grandmother, and mom all lived a similar life. I started to go that way but figured it out. Especially when you grow up poor, you become what you know.

[@lavannyanair5619]

I kinda disagree. If we only focus on the similarities between the kids and their parents, then yes you are right. But we cannot ignore how different some of these characters are from their predecessors. One example is Lane. Although she does end up with a family and taking care of the antique shop, she didn't let go of her dreams. It is a bit disappointing but its more real in a way. Most children share similarities with their parents whilst still pursuing different interests. Its not too far fetched to assume these characters end up similar to their parents. Just my two cents though XD

[@artsyswarley]

@@wildoranges yes it is. The literal definition of "being educated" implies going to school to learn something. I never said he wasn't smart.

[@LiarFireDesire]

I've always thought Lorelai has ADHD. She rambles, fidgets, is impulsive, makes quick associations between random things (jokingly), has an unhealthy relationship with caffeine, can be childish (also, the junkfood), doesn't like doing house chores... She's also a lot of fun and I love her character but there is definitely trauma and defensiveness. You're so right. She doesn't have enough authority over Rory. The more I think about it, the better I think the characters are. All of their flaws make them so real. I'm glad the 'cool girl' thing is being challenged nowadays.

[@mkrnkv]

h, I had the same idea today watching 7th season where she was explaining to Rory how it was hard for her to write that letter to the court about Luke. she was literally listing all of her random thoughts lining up and stopping her from writing. And that's exactly how it's depicted - having troubles concentrating with those not connected thoughts.

[@Thanatology138]

Omg I just commented this.

[@phobosdeimos9799]

I sometimes think she just compensates her childhood. It has now become chique to have ADHS or some other kind of disease like the new little black dress

[@earthmombooks]

100% undiagnosed neurodiverse For Sure

[@pmc609]

She does. For sure

[@stephjovi]

When you watch interviews with Kelly Bishop you appreciate how she is so far away from Emily. She's an amazing actress who barely likes Emily

[@SerenaSkybourne]

She’s so talented omg

[@kristinak6092]

Richard clearly had more endearing feelings towards her grandkid vs his daughter at first (he was more concerned about his shoes than his daughter having a kid). Emily targeted her abusive tendencies towards her daughter bc she had no allies (aka Richard). Once Richard didn't have an idealistic view on his grandkid, w her work on the DAR, he lost interest...therefore Rory lost her ally w Richard, which made her vulnerable to Emily's abuse.

[@not-a-ghost2206]

@@kristinak6092 oh she had Richard as an ally. He is there with her on all desicions, doesnt even back rory up on staying at yale. I think you all seem to forget the yale interview he just sprung on all the gilmore girls, even Emily. Richard let the abuse happen.

[@BiggerinRealLife]

She is gorgeously underrated.

[@eej1983able]

She's so sweet and said she tried to play Emily as wretched as a human as possible lol

[@annamelanie6494]

Something that I don't think people see with Lorelai is that she is amazing with kids. Every scene we see of her watching Sookie's kids, April, or Chris' daughter is her coming up with fun ways to keep them entertained, active, or imaginative. She may be childish but she's able to connect to kids in a way not everybody in the show does and I do think it's because of her own experiences growing up, as well as the experience of having her own kid so young. Overall, I think you did a great job with this video and the show is a very realistic portrayal of family dysfunction and resilience.

[@SerenaSkybourne]

yesss family dysfunction is an excellent way of putting it!

[@livenitup862]

Tbh, in my opinion people who are seen as childish as adults do really well with kids. I can be considered childish, but I often prefer the presence of kids over adults, also because kids‘ social cues are easier to read for me :)

[@radhiadeedou8286]

Yeah she would be a great babysitter. But being able to entertain kids for short periods of time doesn't mean you can raise them well

[@saschamayer4050]

Yes, she does. But being a parent is more than that. You have to be the sensible one.

[@kat.k5321]

I saw something on twitter the other day that I definitely agree with - the reason people love Jess so much isn’t really because they ship him with Rory or think they’re the best couple. It’s because Jess actually gets to grow and develop as a character OUTSIDE of the orbit of the gilmore girls, and he’s one of the only characters who gets that chance. You’re right that a relationship wasn’t what he needed, and Rory shouldn’t have had to fix him - and the thing that makes him great is that Rory had nothing to do with it. While he gives her credit for believing in him and telling him he could do more, he does ultimately pick himself up and learn to be better on his own. And we also see his growth as a a person through the fact that he retrospectively expresses his gratefulness to Luke for trying to support him, when before he’d treated Luke terribly. All in all I definitely agree that Rory and Jess aren’t actually the best couple - but he is allowed to exist on his own outside of the gilmore girls’ lives, and that makes him such a standout character.

[@tarawhy]

I agree. But I also think the reason people selected Jess as the best boyfriend of Rory’s is because after his character development, he was there for her to push her to her limits and do her best. Even when he understood she was down, he gave her reality checks about dropping out of Yale and hanging out with vain rich people doing god knows what. He WANTED her to succeed and fulfill her dreams, he knew that Rory’s behavior was ultimately a coping mechanism for not accepting failure or experiencing hardships in her career, so he was the one to give her the hard pill she needed to swallow. For me at least this is what I loved about Jess. And I agree, that he is an excellently written character, we see him grow from a rebellious care free boy to a responsible man who made a name for himself and became a better person at heart. Unlike her other boyfriends who, in my opinion weren’t good for her in the end.

[@aloha8934]

No one hates Emily as much as Kelly Bishop, she does such a fantastic job portraying her.

[@saschamayer4050]

Yes. It's almost a bit too much. In reality, characters like Emily are seldomly as over-the-top and openly abusive as she is portrayed in the series. In reality, characters like her are much more subtle and secretly manipulative.

[@BooksInTheVoid]

Some of the most powerful scenes in Gilmore Girls is Emily trying to connect with Loralai. I cried at Loralai's graduation. The look at Emily's face when she finally sees her daughter Graduate. Emily seeing where her daughter was living after she left home. I think it dawns on her that her daughter hated her that much and then returns to her "safe zone" which being angry at Loralai. The Spa day was the first time I think Emily really acknowledged there is a problem and she wanted more, she wanted to fix it.

[@SerenaSkybourne]

Yeah it’s rly emotional when you see them trying to reconnect

[@not-a-ghost2206]

It's emotional but without accountability for her actions nothing is gonna change. She almost always pointed it on lorelai, even when she broke her and luke up, which is so arrogant and presumptuous. Apologies without changed behaviour is just manipulation.

[@lauracb1974]

I’m doing a rewatch right now and as a single mother I always think, “How LOW is the cost of living in Stars Hollow and how HIGH is Lorelai’s salary that she can afford a two story home and to eat out for every meal?!” LOL I don’t think any of the Gilmores are “bad people” just highly dysfunctional people which is pretty relatable.

[@0FynnFish0]

While it is very unrealistic overall, she would've bought that house in the early 90s I think, so very different prices compared to now. But yeah, it's weird.

[@lauracb1974]

@@0FynnFish0 I just try to accept stuff in shows lol like it’s entertainment so I try to just roll with it. But I still wonder lol

[@devilinred3319]

The 90s have even buying houses iniciatives in very cheap prices and also, WAS CHEAPER for people to eat out. GIlmore girls was before 2008 disaster, the economics of USA were great there. Watch the video of a girl that its call "you dont hate rory, you are jeaulous of her lifestyle" (something like that) it talks about the prices and the houses and its so interesting how the new views percive other stuff than older views

[@lauracb1974]

@@m780dff okie dokes

[@aag4021]

there's a really good video here on youtube that breaks this down! it's called "you're not mad at lorelai gilmore, you want her house"

[@savedgirl309]

Looking back, I am realizing how much Luke influenced what I look for in a partner. He’s a great and loyal friend. He doesn’t just value loralai as a romantic partner, he clearly values their friendship, yes he wants more, but doesn’t make that her problem. For instance, when loralai and max call off the wedding, and Luke finds out, he empathizes, and makes a plan to get rid of the arch he made for the ceremony. It’s only after she leaves his mood shifts. He’s not perfect, but he’s genuine, and has a lot of good qualities that I appreciate.

[@SerenaSkybourne]

aww thats so lovely! we all deserve a guy best friend who we realise we're in love with. very romantic :)

[@TheMarkmcr]

I don't think those are very realistic expectations. Luke has codependency issues and lorelai was taking advantage of it

[@ChristineSolazzo]

I just love Luke. He is my dream guy

[@OO-fm3sw]

@@TheMarkmcr Can you please elaborate on the codependency issues that Luke had? I can't really think of any lol

[@savedgirl309]

@@TheMarkmcr I see some of that. Let me rephrase, I don’t think I accurately conveyed my point. Watching Luke helped me understand what qualities I value in a partner. His friends and family are very important to him, and he takes his responsibilities to them seriously. He’s he’s not flashy, but he’s very thoughtful. I am not a super spontaneous person, things like the Santa burger are much more my speed. He’s helpful, and reliable. Writing this makes me realize that my boyfriend is a lot of these things. When I tell him I’ve had a bad day, he makes me cookies. I bought a bike, and he already had it assembled when I got home. When he says he will do something, I know it will happen. I really appreciate those qualities. Someone else may watch the show and like how adventurous Logan is, or how spontaneous Christopher is, it’s a thought exercise.

[@denisegillespie8449]

I think the revival is showing how similar Rory was to Christopher. With the privilege and money from her grandparents she turned into what Christopher was like for most of her childhood. He was not reliable as a partner and with employment. He moved around a lot. Charming but lost

[@TheMarkmcr]

It's worse because rory didn't have privilege to influence her perception of life during early childhood. She also is cold and malicious several times while christopher just comes off as clueless

[@FreyaEinde]

I think it’s worst because, it’s not so much the privilege that’s ruined Rory as much as her being cultivated purely as the correction of a mistake her mother presumably made by giving birth to her, both Lorelei and Emily and Richard…and even Christopher lumped her with this purpose…without giving any real consideration to who she actually is as a person. Rory is very much a person uncertain of her own identity and is allowed to veer off the path towards figuring that out without somebody shaming her for “going against the plan” The plan was always Ivy League college…but after that there was never anything else planned for her and so her follow through is…not gonna happen because she has no momentum for her own life. Which I feel like rarely comes up in fandom because hating Rory is fun. I think we view affectionate relationships as always a good thing but I feel like Lorelei is similar to Emily in another way in terms of being controlling. Rory never really wanted to go to Chilton…and we all just blip that out.

[@foreverpumpkin7776]

That is very interesting. Everyone always says it's Logan who is going to essentially be the Christopher, but what if it's Rory? I wonder if she would end up not being as good of a mom to her kid as Lorelai, and maybe even ignoring a lot of her responsibilities in that area to instead try chasing career dreams. Like she could essentially become the female version of her dad, and Logan would be more of a present parent, because since that's not something he had growing up, he would probably value that more when it came to his own kid. Rory just doesn't strike me as someone who would thrive as a parent. She is so selfish.

[@eleanorconnor4373]

Without the charm tho 😂

[@katharineeavan9705]

@@foreverpumpkin7776 I feel like her whole life she's been strongly encouraged to see everyone and everything as revolving around her. That's probably why she never acknowledged Paris as a close friend; because as soon as Paris lost interest in her as an enemy, Paris's life stopped revolving around Rory. From that moment on, Paris was background noise to Rory unless a situation arose where Rory and either her needs or her virtues could be centred. The same ended up happening with Lane once Rory went to college. It's also why I disagree with the Rory being too good for Jess thing, because he absolutely shouldn't have been in a romantic relationship with ANYONE at that point and he didn't always treat her well, but she had very little empathy for or understanding of him despite knowing him so well. Their relationship was entirely about her wants and her needs, and her expectations of him. She'd often insert herself to 'help' him and be there for him, but her understanding of that was to try to make him do and be the things she thought were best and to involve herself as much as possible with his problems whether it was welcome or not. Realistically from what we know of Rory and her relationships with others, that baby wouldn't be seen as a child, it would be seen as an extension of herself. She might be doting and adoring at first, but as soon as the kid started to behave in ways that didn't align with her expectations she'd fall to pieces as a mother and either be overbearing in her attempts to 'fix' it or flee the situation so as to avoid dealing with those unmet expectations. It's not entirely her fault - again, this attitude was encouraged and reinforced time and time again by literally everyone in her hometown plus her grandparents her entire life - but Rory declaring she's having a baby just after pressuring her mother into letting Rory publish an invasive book about her life that centres Rory's desire for prestige over her mother's privacy, agency and ownership of her own life experiences... not something that inspires a lot of confidence in the character

[@Hi-jw7oq]

I believe Rory never understood how lucky she was. To have her grandparents pay for her rent, and tuition and all the living expenses especially when she is living with them, wow. If you're an adult and someone else is paying for your living expenses you'd better live by their rules or else you're biting the hand that's feeding you. Also forgiveness is a wonderful thing.

[@SerenaSkybourne]

Yeah true, maybe Rory started to take her lucky life for granted, as she got used to it

[@oooh19]

Yeah but like she’s an adult what do they expect her to want to be treated like a 5 year old?

[@TheMarkmcr]

@@SerenaSkybourne it's disappointing that she never valued the idea of taking jobs just to support herself

[@ekalorschmekalor2885]

You must have had bad parents and grandparents.

[@Hi-jw7oq]

@@oooh19 she's and adult, if she wants to be treated by one, she needs to act like it and get a job and pay her own bills

[@myheart715]

That scene when Emily yelled at Lorelai for not sticking around with Chris and losing him to Sherry really offended me. Oh so it's Lorelai's fault that Chris couldn't get his shit together and Lorelai went her own way to raise Rory? Emily seems to also not realize that Chris barely raised or even visited Rory.

[@SerenaSkybourne]

That scene makes me feel sick

[@WannabeDancer72]

Right?! Lorelei had an actual child to raise. Why is it her job to mother the child's father too?

[@FifthAveAtFive]

I think Emily points out the bad traits Lorelei has that would otherwise go unexamined, in the worst ways possible. All her tact and politeness just gets thrown out the window. In some ways Emily’s imperfections as a human is what makes her one of my favorite characters. I don’t think anyone else except Kelly Bishop could portray Emily in a way that you are disgusted by her actions and harsh words, but still care about her as a person and root for her development.

[@angelaholmes8888]

@@WannabeDancer72 yes exactly

[@SerenaSkybourne]

@@FifthAveAtFive Yeah thats the annoying part- sometimes Emily's feedback was truthful, but she delivered it in the most hurtful and rude of ways.

[@Lililililili333]

Thank you for not tearing Dean down!! Ppl judge him like they were never 16 yo and praise Jess who literally yelled at her in every other episode!

[@SerenaSkybourne]

the double standards are realll

[@melmel1071]

I’ll never u set stand the Jess love 🥴

[@rachaeliggulden1203]

Younger Jess sexually harasses Rory. That's beyond problematic. Dean, meanwhile, acts like a wounded victim when Rory is still processing her feelings for him. He gets angry when she doesn't say 'I love you' in return, even though she was just being honest. People don't *owe* you something just because you say those three little words! And to make matters worse, Dean never apologises for this behaviour. Neither Dean nor Younger Jess are stellar partners...

[@Lililililili333]

@@rachaeliggulden1203 but only one of them tried to force her to have sex…

[@queenofflops6566]

@@rachaeliggulden1203 why date someone who cant even say they love you

[@christianatunni]

"No, Rory, this great man was not brought down by my v*gina." -Paris, most iconic line

[@filmcowgirl]

The one thing that always gets me is how after the car crash Lorelai yells at Luke and tells him that he should value her and Rory over his own family??? Like he isn’t allowed to care about anyone else but her??? How they came back from that I never truly understood that was just so incredibly insensitive and selfish of her

[@lolafierling2154]

You're overlooking something very important when it comes to Lorelei. The way she raised Rory was a direct result of the parental modeling she had. She, like many other abused people, had only seen 1 way to parent and decided to the opposite. Because there is really no other way she knew other than being abusive and overbearing. I come from a really abusive home. I'm raising my son the exact opposite of what I was raised with. When he was little I was worried that I wouldnt be able to discipline him at all because I didn't understand healthy ways of discipling because I was never shown that. Unintentionally I'm more like Lorelei than I'd like to admit. Because all I knew was beatings, being locked away, starved and treated like a servant/maid. So when it came time for me to parent the only thing I REALLY knew was I didn't want to do that. I knew no matter what I'd be doing it wrong but it didn't matter as long as I didn't f**k up my kids like my parents did to me. It's really really hard to know how to parent when you didn't have any parental figures in your life.

[@abbyabroad]

This is really vulnerable and I appreciate your thoughts. ♥️

[@SerenaSkybourne]

Thankyou for sharing this. I’m terrible sorry to hear about what happened. And yes I’m my Lorelai video I’m planning on discussing overcompensation with her parenting, and why she didn’t want to hurt Rory in the way her parents hurt her

[@moonlit.michelle]

It just occured to me that maybe Rory didn't actually want to be a foreign correspondent. Maybe when she was very young she did, but the closer she gets the less motivated she is to pursue it. Maybe she just kept saying she wanted to be a journalist because she feels like she's SUPPOSED to want that, when she actually does want to be (a little) more of an Emily Gilmore than a Christiane Amanpour.

[@diana2063]

Wow, I just have to say this is a pretty brilliant read and explains a lot.

[@kerriethompson2073]

To me I think that being a journalist was Lorelei dream job and she was projecting that onto Rory because Lorelei was never able to pursue her dreams being a teen mom. Just my opinion.

[@alaynajordan8459]

​@@kerriethompson2073definitely fits Lorelei more than Rory

[@stuffwithsoph8264]

Finally somebody calls out Emily, she is sooo toxic and ABUSIVE but people just act like Lorelai is being bratty, and not understandably distancing herself from her abusive parent(s)

[@SerenaSkybourne]

Totallyyy

[@Wisco.ro414]

Where are you hearing this? I have never heard anyone with that perspective. Both characters have depth, and it is lacking a lot of nuance and is reductionist to call Emily "abusive," and Loreli "bratty." Niether statements are true, but you can say their relationship was not healthy and both contributed to mess.

[@rappakalja5295]

​@@Wisco.ro414 Emily and Richard absolutely are abusive.

[@auspicious93]

One bone I have to pick with the series is how Dean’s family is portrayed as very lower middle class, but they live in a giant and gorgeous house.

[@RachaelTheRed]

I feel like Jess and Rory are a case of "right people, wrong time". I think, had they met later in life, they would have been a really solid couple. They both pushed each other in a way that made the other grow, which is good for a healthy relationship and they clearly had chemistry. Jess pushed Rory to take risks but also made sure she stayed down to earth, while she encouraged him to pursue his passions and talents in a way that no one had before. Unfortunately, they were really young when they met and still had a lot to work through individually before they could be ready for that kind of mature relationship. While I also like Rory and Logan, and I will admit that they challenge each other, I feel like he is too much a part of her grandparents world and that world brings out the worst in her. They are well matched but I don't think Rory could ever be the best version of herself with Logan. Then Dean is just....I don't even know how to feel about Dean. I 100% feel like he holds her back because he thinks he wants this 1950's, small town, nuclear family life and he's insecure about the fact that she wants so much more. Sometimes he's sweet but his temper and the way Rory reacts to it is concerning. I also feel like a big red flag in Dean and Rory's relationship is that they both act like they own the other person. Dean is possessive and jealous and Rory says things like "he's my Dean. I had him first". Not a healthy dynamic. In the end, I'm glad Rory ended up alone. I think she needed the time to discover herself apart from her mom or any romantic relationships. Also, BIG agree that in the end Jess did a 180 and was too good for her.

[@angelaholmes8888]

Yeah jess and rory totally met at the wrong time

[@FifthAveAtFive]

Alll of this!! These are the points I’m constantly making to my friends that watch the show

[@Aster_Risk]

@@FifthAveAtFive If I had friends who watched this show I would too. Lol

[@savannahhartje4490]

It was 100% all external factors that broke Rory and Jess up. Everyone in Stars Hollow judged him, Lorelei most of all. He felt like he wasn't worth anything and wasn't good enough for Rory so he self-sabotaged. That was the fault of the adults in SH. Dean was straight up abusive. He tried to control Rory. He infantalized her and idolized her at the same time. He wasn't just "protective" like they said the whole show. He acted like she was his property. I like Logan and her the most. I actually think he pushed her to be the best at school and journalism that she could be while still giving her the space to be her own person. He didn't judge her when she took a gap semester but he supported her in going back to school. He defended her from undue bullying from his father while still calling her out when she was obviously wrong. He's obviously flawed but he's the most well-balanced person she dated. I don't think her life would have fallen apart in the reboot like it did if she had married him. I think she would have still been a successful journalist and had a stable life with a happy relationship.

[@Molomar1]

I feel like part of Dean’s possessiveness is him reacting to the fact that Rory could just not leave other guys alone. When they were first dating, she kissed two guys and never told him about either. Rory just couldn’t stop herself from flirting with other guys she was interested in. It’s what made his break up with her at the dance competition so satisfying to me. He finally realizes that she’s clearly fallen out of interest and calls out himself for not wanting to believe it, and her for lying to him. Poor Sam Winchester was so desperate to hold onto his girlfriend when she was falling for Jess, he even got her a car lmao. I felt bad for the guy.

[@RilianSharp]

you mention filler scenes, but one of the things i love about gg is that it has a lot of scenes that aren't about furthering the plot, they're just there to show the characters being themselves.

[@mishthemaverick8607]

Yesss! It flies in the face of all the storytelling rules and I love it!

[@Lozza685]

I love filler scenes because it gives a chance to further develop characters and shows them as you say as they are, shows who their personality is.

[@holographictheory1501]

I feel like Lorelai's parentification of Rory still doesn't get talked about enough. I don't think that it's that she was too "nice" to Rory, but instead, consistently showed Rory that she couldn't be depended on for important, adult things and happily let her child be responsible for parenting *her* in many ways. Rory understandably knew that she couldn't depend on her mother and I think that's part of why she wanted a good relationship with her grandparents so much -- they seemed like they were the dependable, adult people her mother wouldn't be. Rory also often existed to serve her mother's needs, and in the same way that Emily and Richard placed impossible, rigid ideas of what they wanted Lorelai to be on her, Lorelai placed impossible, rigid ideas of what she wanted Rory to be. Rory didn't have the space to be her own person and Lorelai consistently reacted in a childlike fashion (instead of a good parent) when confronted with Rory not being her idea of perfect. I think that Lorelai being "too nice" to Rory are almost all instances where she was just rejecting the reality of what Rory was doing in favor of her impossible, rigid idea of her perfect daughter. She also couldn't stay mad at Rory because she was so codependent on her to meet *her* emotional needs. I don't think her intention was to be kind to her daughter or feeling like punishment was unfair, but instead choosing her own emotional needs over her daughters yet again. This, coupled with Rory being so parentified, made it feel like Rory's struggles were inevitable.

[@tildisrabarberblad9816]

EXACTLY! No wonder Rory doesn't know how to handle things in her own life or how to express herself - she was never allowed to. Babies don't make plans to go to Harvard (incidentally, the rival school of Richard's alma mater)

[@strngenchantedgirl]

Additionally about Lorelei, in hindsight, after having watched the entire series 2 or 3 times, the whole concept of raising Rory from early childhood with this ridiculous expectation of going to Harvard and being Miss Perfect and treating her like this special entitled creature who can do no wrong is really messed up. It explains why Rory fails so hard in both college and supposedly adulthood. If she can’t have the best then she just gives up.

[@anitacacosta17acosta9]

Exactly, you get it. Nobody ever let rory to know herself, she end up being a projection of the adults and that will only take you so far in life.

[@circumflexis]

On Rory's possible anxiety issues: lack of boundaries in early childhood creates anxiety. Boundaries tell little children: as long as you do/don't do this and that you will be safe. Without them they have no way of knowing what is dangerous and what is not and instinctively assume that danger could be anywhere. I don't think Lorelai missed on physical boundaries but she hasn't taught Rory emotional ones, hense Rory's social anxiety and people pleasing and honestly, a bit stunted socioemotional development.

[@kendyrudy6715]

you can't exactly blame lorelai for wanting to protect her from pain, but it ended up getting to the point where rory never learned from her mistakes throughout the show

[@devilinred3319]

​@@kendyrudy6715also... how much Lorelai would know about that topic? She was a child when she gets pregnant, she was a teenager, emotional, traumatized and confuse one. She its still growing up during the show actually.

[@brookeehafling]

LOVE that you mentioned the fuzzy, vintage camera quality of season one because I loved that about the show and was really upset when it was gone

[@moosenman]

As someone with an abusive parent (I won’t say which one), the people who hate lorali (I can’t spell her name) for breaking things off with her parents are so infuriating. You have no obligation to keep abusive people in your life, even a parent. My brothers gone no contact with said parent, and I’m contemplating it. It’s so exhausting to be in a room with someone and feeling constantly on the defense because you’ve been trained to expect that sort of thing from them. People make exceptions for parents (the amount of times my brother got told ‘but they’re your parent’ oh my god) and they really shouldn’t.

[@ruuvuu]

I think the main difference between Jess and Dean/Logan was that every bad thing that Jess did he did at 17, where as Dean and Logan mess up with Rory in their twenties. Jess was an extremely troubled teen who had been abandoned multiple times, where as Dean and Logan did not share those same difficulties in life they had been supported all through their lives, and by the time Jess was in his twenties he was better and more mature than both Dean and Logan. I think that Logan was probably the best match for Rory in the end, but that's because Rory kinda sucks, and you're absolutely right in saying that by the end Jess was too good for her. But I think think that Jess is the best overall and that Rory lost out by not picking Jess.

[@bubblebathskies]

i agree, this is pretty much my exact take as well - but you articulated it so well in a way i haven't yet been able to

[@seaof_stars]

theres subtle points in dialouge and script which really show how messed up Jess's life was, and I feel like the fandom doesn't understand it. He clearly did not have a safe or healthy childhood, of course his relationship would have issues; the thing is he grew and became a much better person on his own outside the orbit of the main cast.

[@velvetdawson617]

it was crazy re-watching the show seeing how they butchered Dean - he started off as smart, kind of a bad boy, bookish, mysterious with a temper; then Jess showed up and they just gave that personality to him!

[@carmelav8380]

no they didn’t he was cute at first but then the whole donna reed episode was weird and he got mad at rory for her opinion and told her she only thought that way because lorelai thoight that way and rory actually said no to that but then later she felt bad and did that weird housewife thing omg i always skip over that part

[@carmelav8380]

he also got mad at her for not saying i love you back and for wanting to do volunteer work instead of going on a date and that was all before jess showed up

[@carr0760]

@@carmelav8380 yep. He was possessive, controlling, jealous, and sexist. Long before Jess showed up.

[@bigreg4048]

@@carmelav8380 he was kinda right tho because during the Martha vineyard episode we saw the house wife side of Rory who actually enjoyed cooking alongside Logan dean was still weird about it tho

[@sophiabakova7814]

But that’s different cuz she wasn’t doing the all of the cooking while Logan went on with his day, they were both helping out. While dean wanted her to do it all by herself

[@Lalah8su]

Lorelai doesnt propose to Luke solely because Rory is not in her life. The reason Lorelai proposes is because Luke shows that he both loves and understands Rory and Luke’s love for her daughter cements Lorlai’s love for Luke. She talks about it after the breakup.

[@LuisanaRamirez]

100% agree with you

[@angelaholmes8888]

Yes 💯😊

[@SerenaSkybourne]

yes true, she loved how he loved Rory

[@goalkeeper2734]

What also made Rori not handle criticism well is because no one ever gave her any. Every time someone reads her papers they praise it and her. Like she asked for criticism because she knew she had to get better but she didn't get the opportunity. So later on when finally some people do criticize her work it hurts her instead of taking it and working better.

[@Colee617-n6q]

Exactly! that whole Mitchum criticism, screamed how Rory lacked strength in many areas.

[@aliiciia555]

Jess and Luke: The best relationship of the show. I really love that they become father and son, so sweet. My opinion about them, is the reason why Luke can't help Jess at the beginning that much, because he still has to grow, work on himself to. Not easy to help someone if you have your on issues. Luke became his best version the end of season 4, he help Jess how to express emotions in a right way. If Luke would be his season 4 version when Jess first going to Stars Hollow, then the fate of the two characters would have been completely different.

[@angelaholmes8888]

I love their relationship

[@maisie9705]

luke/jess is a more interesting dynamic than lorelai/rory to me

[@stephjovi]

Chris as a single dad is pathetic. The nanny has one night off and he can't handle caring for his own kid. I bet he left her in Paris as soon as Gigi was ready and texts her occasionally

[@pamelalansbury94]

And he was just going to let the nanny take her to Paris! His own toddler going to live in a different country with a parent she doesn’t know…sure let the nanny handle that. He was an idiot.

[@stephjovi]

@@pamelalansbury94 oh yeah!! Couldn't wait for her to be gone. Because you know it's fine for a women to raise a kid without help but a man can't possibly care for his own kid 😕

[@Aaarandom]

Ooof got a little agitated at the mention that Emily never apologizes. Reminds me of my mother. Now that I’m a mom, I always say sorry to my son if I mess up. It’s a huge priority to me and hearing that part just reminded me of why ❤

[@SerenaSkybourne]

yess apologizing is so important

[@Madiitetr]

YESS SAME W MY MOM

[@carrained]

I had a friend that always said “no DONT apologize, you don’t have to!” and I tried to explain that it’s important to me because my family definitely do not apologize when they should and neither did I for years. sadly that friend didn’t ever understand anyone’s perspective but her own. I (and people) need to apologize when I’ve done something hurtful/messed up and it’s so, so good to hear that you’re giving your son a mother that willing to own up to her mistakes!

[@thesugundiasmith]

@@SerenaSkybourne While apologizing is very important I personally think it's equally important that the behavior also changes accordingly.

[@madhuram7348]

I almost felt emotional hearing you talk about how Emily was a bad parent because I don't think many people recognize this even after watching the show multiple times and it somehow reminds me of my mother. Every conversation/interaction they have is somewhat driven by Emily's ulterior motive about something, how every decision of Lorelai is disapproved, every concern/opinion of hers is dismissed, I feel so bad for Lorelai that she can't in a fathomable way explain this to her loved ones (even her own daughter) because from the outside it just looks like parents who care, are concerned and are so wealthy that they can't possibly have had anything lacking in her upbringing. It's a miracle that Lorelai is able to be her true self, express her opinions, and confidently lead a life after being controlled/manipulated constantly by her own parents.

[@ellipszilonq]

I’m glad you addressed the casual mysogyny of the show! I think ASP said somewhere that she never claimed that the show was feminist, which makes sense because oh boy does she dislike women who do not fit her requirements

[@SerenaSkybourne]

yeah i definitely wouldn't label this as the most feminist show, it has some concepts that seem very 1950 haha

[@TheMarkmcr]

@@SerenaSkybourne it wasn't until around the time that trump was elected that people started to reject 1950s societal standards.

[@judithduran5288]

“Why are you so obsessed with her mate get over it” LOVE 😂 The fact that Dean punches Jess when Dean is already dating Lindsay makes this quote 10x better

[@SerenaSkybourne]

He annoyed me SO MUCH 😭

[@anneyfrancis701]

Jess sexually assaulted Rory. Dean punching Jess was well justified. Dean should have moved on definitely, he deserved much better girlfriend than Rory.

[@notexposingmyname8003]

would love an entire video on the “cool girl”. i feel like there’s so much to unpack whether with characters or celebs!

[@SerenaSkybourne]

yess good point, there's so much here

[@FifthAveAtFive]

As a child of immigrants, I really really love Lane and Mrs. Kim as individuals and their relationship. Like Lane, I ended up having a more dynamic multilayered relationship with my mom as opposed to my dad. I’m glad Lane ends up in a realistic place in the revival because it validates for me and others that have had a similar upbringing just having a stable life routine with a spouse you chose that chooses you and loves you is great. That you can heal from the generational and cultural trauma you were born into and actively pass on the amazing aspects of your home culture to your offspring is phenomenal. I admire her so much for that and would devour a show just about Lane. This is no offense to your character or analysis, It did rub me the wrong way with the emphasis on Mrs. Kim’s negative traits as a mother. I think it is partly because it’s coming from a racialized white pov talking about a non-white character and some of the critiques are of how Mrs. Kim doesn’t follow a western ideal of how a mother/person should behave, some things she does are just how a lot of immigrant mothers do things. My mom is from Mexico and has some similar outlooks and has done similar things and that’s part of what makes her and Lane so relatable. While Lane didn’t get a fantasy like happily ever after, I think she got a better ending than Rory and I love it for her because she is content and at peace.

[@cristinamurillo4028]

I grew up in Mexico and also related so much to Lane, specially hiding stuff I honestly didn't even had to hide

[@melaniejohnson.4810]

My only wish was if lane was gonna take over a store it should’ve been the music store 😂

[@naomismith1241]

I love Mrs Kim, let's face it, it was a healthy relationship, they had few similarities in outlook, character and temptrement, but they still learn how to fall out and make up even when lane is a teenager. And after the only big rupture when Lane moves out Mrs Kim rocks up with a plan to get the band on tour. Lane was raised to be unafraid of disappointing her mother, even when it made her upset she HAD disappointed her mother. That's about all you can do for your kids in th end.

[@angeliprimlani9389]

I think Lane’s position in the revival is incredibly realistic and the rare time we see what the life of a working artist is really like. Hep Alien is still a working band and Lane and Zach both have day jobs and kids and that’s not failure. I mean they have a house, family, a life outside the band. I think the fandom thinks Lane has failed because television rarely does show what real artists live like.

[@pear.820]

When you brought up Michel, it couldn't help but remind me of the episode where Michel's dog dies. I think the writers meant for us to side with Lorelai and Sookie, with him being dramatic and it being funny how he thinks its a big deal, but in reality it's not and never was. when Lorelai's dad died they made it such a big part of AYITL with flashbacks and it very centered around Richard dying, rightfully so I say as it was a family member a lot of people loved. Michel's dog was his only family at the time, and Lorelai and Sookie not taking it seriously was probably the worst I ever thought of them. It just goes to show how much of Michel's character was created as comedic relief. Edit: I know that Michel is a side character, and comparing his dog (that we never really see or hear about in the show) to Richard is not a very good analogy, however I still believe that Michel's purpose on the show was purely for comedy. He was put on Gilmore Girls to be laughed at for his "silly" behaviours. It was never funny though, and that was what bothered me a lot. Any of the scenes I saw with Michel being ridiculed were spent with a complete straight face or even a cringe because the writers expected us to laugh at that??

[@Colee617-n6q]

That’s a good pov! Interesting that they made a HUGE deal when Babettes cat died. A funeral service etc….

[@DominionMovementDotOrg]

then lorelai made the main part of the service with the beautiful acoustic song performance all about pondering her romantic relationship. it is not just that surprising though considering how animals wer routinely disregarded, commodified, objectified, and trivialized throughout the show. every episode has representations that display the pervasiveness of speciesism within mainstream culture, which remains ignorant or insensitive to things that negatively affect animals lives in ways beyond our worst nightmares. carnist speciesism was frequently apparent when it came to “food”, but there are many more examples of this flippant apathetic acceptance, promotion, and glamourization of dominating, degrading, using, and abusing animals for various human centric purposes.

[@katrinklausa584]

This whole episode I was thinking about how Lorelai would have reacted if Paul Anka died - it would be such a big deal for her, not some ridiculous dog funeral

[@personafanatic4597]

i think the moment when i really felt for emily was when she sees where lorelai lived while pregnant and you can see everything she's feeling in her face. i love this show more than i'd ever be able to express, despite the problems it has

[@Colee617-n6q]

Agreed, I felt Emily’s hurt in that scene big time. 😢

[@MelissaIvette26]

The thing is… Rory made those decisions herself (e.i.: going to NY to see Jess, hence missing Lorelai’s graduation). Trying to pin it on someone else isn’t actually fair. And I think is why she became so entitled and had no sense of accountability. Everybody excused Rory’s behavior because they all saw her as “perfect” or a “good girl”. So they used to blame Jess for the decisions she made.

[@sarahchaprobin32]

Emily was always my favourite Gilmore Girl. I would absolutely hate to have her in my life. She is so awful, so lacking in self awareness, so controlling, but I always felt she’s desperate inside for Lorelai’s love and vulnerable, even though she does everything to push her away. She’s so contradictory and messed up and so full of BS. She’s a really satisfying character to watch.

[@maisie9705]

i’ve always thought this- would be an awful person to know, but a GREAT character

[@DJTS1991Yes]

I think the show didn't push any particular messaging one way or anything. Rather, it told an intergenerational story about class and academia vs hard work that was is open to interpretation and it's simply mind boggling we are STILL discussing this show nearly 20 years later. And THAT is the sign of a good show.

[@jaykingplays]

Rory having anxious behavior makes sense, especially with Lorelai is also generally anxious in a different way. Constantly defensive, especially when her mother is involved (which makes sense with her attitude towards her daughter). When Emily demanded a dinner with Luke when Lorelai started dating, her first idea (even is played as a joke) is to run away. Luke on the otherhand goes and says they should face the issue at hand, even if he didn’t enjoy the interaction in the end, he still faced the issue. If i grew up with a mom who was constantly worried about people's interaction (and it is a valid worry as a single mom), I would probably maladapt and unintentionally blame myself as the cause of my mother's worries which would make sense with her tendency to try and be perfect. To rory: perfect children go to Yale/Harvard/Princeton, perfect children have a good relationship with their grandparents, perfect children have a "supportive" dad, perfect children are immediately successful in business after college, a perfect business woman is a worldwide traveller and a gaslight gatekeep girlboss. It also makes sense if she is anxious to be perfect that anyone who doesnt meet Rory's standards she looks down on and insults, including herself.

[@kristen7687]

christopher gets off way too easily imo. i ATE IT UP in that one scene when luke finally said something about him not being around. it was like the first and only time anyone ever really called him out for being absent

[@lolsous]

I don't think Richard is ashamed of Emily for wanting Rory to have a career. It’s just that he knows that a career will be more fulfilling for her. He’s been allowed much more freedom in his life than Emily, he’s seen more of the world, has a wider perspective. Maybe he feels sorry for Emily because she never had a choice and couldn’t enjoy everything he has, but mostly I think he wants that freedom for Rory.

[@laurafitzgerald7367]

One of the things that sticks out to me through my annual Gilmore Girls rewatches is how the fashion in the show has really started to come back around in the early 2020s. I remember watching GG in the early and mid 2000s with my mum and thinking Lorelai's outfits in particular were amazing! And then the low-rise jeans, brightly coloured wool shirts and midi skirts fell out of fashion as we moved into the 2010s. But now the 90s trends are very much back in and the Gilmores have returned to the Pinterest boards of It Girls everywhere.

[@LouisaWatt]

I feel like this show is unintentionally true to life exploring the long term consequences of their minor series of decisions.

[@joyin9852]

I can’t talk for everyone. But growing up, the fact that lorelai and Rory ate a lot of food at least in the early seasons was really helpful for me. I still struggle with recovering from my eating disorder and I didn’t allow myself for a long time to eat things that were fattening or put me above a certain week. So much so that I’m actively trying to gain weight [in a healthy way] now and it’s taking ages. So in that regard when I watch Gilmore girls I feel like I can have a pizza or burgers or fast food and not feel bad about it being unhealthy or fattening. Im not glamorising it or saying that it’s good because I see the problems with it. It was just as a child in the 2000s when everyone and everything in girls magazines and media was “you have to be super thin” the very pro- ana era, it was really refreshing to see this show and say like “it’s ok to eat a crap tonne of McDonald’s and you don’t have to feel bad about it” Great video and great detailed analysis. Lorelai is a super flawed character but as a person with a similar upbringing I understand why she’s the way that she is and I loved her character throughout the show 😊

[@Anotherhandle_name]

I am similar to you, this show helped me realize women can eat and starving myself was because I wanted society to value me (which is so messed up that that’s the society we live in and still do). I can now eat without feeling guilty and I’m so glad to hear it helped others! The only flaw in the show concerning this area is they eat a lot and always stay stick thin. Then they make fun of others often for their weight.

[@hollyk7052]

I love the parallel though between Emily’s control and the pressure Lorelei puts on Rory, another form of control. Everyone repeats the mistakes of their parents in this show lol

[@LoveVicXo]

Sookie's third pregnancy HAD to be written in because Melissa was pregnant irl, but they could have handled it so much better than her having consent taken away

[@Arvak]

This whole storyline made me so uncomfortable. It's a form of SA and it's disgusting how trivialised it was in the show

[@alaynajordan8459]

Could have said the vasectomy failed instead it never happened, because that is possible if Jackson didn't go in for appts. Because the way it stands it's SA

[@esmeraldasilva9586]

This storyline annoyed me to no end. And the fact that Jackson fully started verbally attacking Lorelai. Like Sookie and Lorelai are best friends of course they’re going to talk about their lives to each other?

[@emmarae4322]

It is reproductive coercion. I was disgusted by Jackson.

[@abbyabroad]

YES! Re: the weird way sex and failure are connected (how Lane gets pregnant the first time she has sex). I’m tired of the false trope that you can’t have a healthy, intimate relationship *and* be a powerful independent woman.

[@jadacampbell9331]

Preach! It like she was punished for letting loose

[@AS-ls1uq]

Also Paris who thinks she didn't get into Havard because she lost her virginity the night before and is therefore not worthy (??)

[@dakotaoreilly7961]

Emily didn't "move up" in the class system. When Richard was in the hospital, she said to the receptionist that her the hospital was funded by her uncle. She was never working class

[@angelaholmes8888]

I loved the scene with Richard when he punched Christopher's father for being disrespectful to lorelai and rory in season 1 yes he was a better grandfather and husband than as a father

[@dreamingswimmer]

And then he goes and undoes everything when Lorelei thanks him for defending her and he tells her he didn’t do it for her :/

[@angelaholmes8888]

@@dreamingswimmer yeah I was really disappointed that he did that 🙁😔

[@Lozza685]

Don’t get too caught up in that scene. Richard only got angry because he felt that Strobe was attacking the Gilmore name, so he felt personally offended, not that strobe was attacking his daughter or granddaughter.

[@socialdgirl011]

Dean was ok at first and then they had him start being emotionally abusive. That time where Jess brought food and they ate with Paris before Dean came over was a prime example. He just stormed in and started yelling at her and getting more upset when she couldn't answer him fast enough. I had a boyfriend like that when I was in my early 20s and whenever I see scenes like that now it's just like nope I don't want to relive that it just gets worse.

[@emagalociova]

Tbh rory was emotionally cheating and She was lying to him. And he is not stupid, he knew that. And She lied anyway

[@naomismith1241]

Oh yeah Rory, had so many opportunities to be honest and say she liked Jess but messed with deans head until she jess wanted her too.

[@user-ib1is7ny7r]

was rory not abusing him too? she was gaslighting him the whole time feeding his insecurities

[@HeyyItsDaleVODS]

For as many faults as Dean has, I think he tries his damnedest to come out of the situation as best he can. He tries to tell Rory how he feels. She doesn't listen or acknowledge his POV well if at all, gaslights him, and isnt honest until she absolutely needs to be bc shes scared ans not mature or confident enough to have that conversation. When talking with Rory doesn't work Dean then tries to reach out to Lorelai, an adult he trusts to listen to him and would know Rory best. We can find fault with Dean's actions, yes, but he is not alone in how he acts out, at all.

[@anneyfrancis701]

Dean knew what was going on. He had a very good reason to be angry. Rory supposed to be on her own not with Jess. Dean wasn’t stupid and knew what Jess was up to. Rory wasn’t treating Dean well, making him insecure.

[@amandakriss4244]

It is so hard with narcissists, re: Emily, to tell when an olive branch is genuinely being offered. Sometimes it goes over your head that it was even offered to begin with because how it is offered. Other times you are wary because before you accepted and it turned out it was just a manipulation to get them to trust you again and give them what they want THE WAY they want it. And without any further "commentary" on the subject.

[@SerenaSkybourne]

Yesss and that's the issue! The trust has been so broken that Lorelai never knows if her mum is being genuine or not

[@carrained]

You’re spot on! I voiced this doubt to my boyfriend just earlier today, regarding a narcissist in my life. How I wish every olive branch actually was one or that I least knew when, if ever, they’re genuine.

[@kylerees3491]

Jess is better in the later seasons and the revival but my problem is we don't see the progression we just have maybe a line from luke every so often and says that jess is doing well we don't actually see him changing if we saw the progression of him changing maybe I might like him better but him changing in the later seasons without actually seeing what happened and what got him on the right track doesn't really help us understand his character growth like even at the end of season 4 on his mum's wedding luke finds him living in a place that he's sharing with others how does he go from that to season 6 publishing his own novel we just don't see enough

[@andy_the_dank_loaf3941]

Mad respect for all the work you clearly put into researching this, plus your delivery was incredibly personable and understandable. 10/10 good video

[@SerenaSkybourne]

This actually made my day, I’m so happy you enjoyed it 🎉💖💖

[@strawb2811]

So I really relate to Jess as someone who grew up in an abusive household. So I have a lot of sympathy for him (except the pressuring Rory to have sex scene that was not okay). It reminds me about how people used to talk about Harry in the HP fandom. Abused kids are moody, emotional and isolate themselves but we get labelled as annoying and whiney a lot. It's quite difficult for someone like me who relates to these characters. Seeing Jess mature and succeed was actually really inspiring for me as a teen/young adult. Also I always thought it was interesting that Lorelai was soooo angry at Jess for the car accident when there is scene earlier in the the series when Christopher and Lorelai are having a flirty conversation about when they were teens and totalled a car. Like it's so hypocritical, Jess was trying to avoid hitting a cat (which is a genuine accident, but yes he shouldn't have swerved). The Chris/Lorelai crash literally sounded like reckless teen driving.

[@jadacampbell9331]

Hypocrisy is a part of parenthood for many

[@Charliebeth]

Over the course of the show, Richard and Lorelei grew closer. He supported Lorelai sneaking out on that odd guy in season one. In season two he truly enjoyed the time he shared with Lorelai while she helped him set up his office and he only got cold because he was sad that she wasn't going to stay. He was proud of his daughter's business sense and success etc, which upset me how Lorelai handled his funeral, unable to think of a good memory...

[@alecbona4549]

That initially upset me as well but then I looked back on it and realized the extenuating circumstances. She was clearly going through a lot of anxiety and I know when I'm under that kind of stress/anxiety I can barely speak let alone recall something on the spot. Not saying it to excuse what she ended up sharing, just saying I understand it

[@devilinred3319]

To be honest, a few good memories or good moments of a person arent enough to take away the paranoic trauma of Lorelai. I know this is more with Emily, but Emily and Richard were a team, a few good moments in YEARS OF PSICOLOGICAL ABUSE dont make you a good parent, but make you human.

[@lpchambers3681]

I feel weird about critiquing “the strict Asian foreigner”stereotype that Mrs. Kim fits in, since she is based off that woman’s mother- seems unfair to say she can’t have the stereotypical experience

[@not-a-ghost2206]

It's not only unfair it's highly racist behaviour. Michelle gets the same treatment. If you try to understand where he is coming from, his actions make a lot of sense -his trauma was kicking in. They are always outsiders of the community, only going along well with their peers. What I especially noticed with Mrs Kim was also the food metaphor. Like, in todays age a tofurkey would be really delicious. But then it was a way to make fun of their lifestyle, lane even says to keoung after she tries fries "welcome to america" like.. the kims way isn't American? Appreciatation only if you fit in. Also at some point lane says her real name, which is sth like "huang" and immediately sends "i know its not exiting" after it. It's called assimilation, which is basically bending and suppressing your cultural identity.

[@melz6625]

@@not-a-ghost2206 if you view Mrs Kim from a view of an imperfect narrator then it would make sense that Lane as a second generation is trying to hyper assimilate and push away her cultural heritage. And along with that her mother who we hear about more from Lane’s perspective than have genuine scenes just from Mrs Kim alone. Lorelai and Rory might also be influenced by Lane’s perspective meshed with typical subconscious racism. Lorelai on top of it also probably gets taken aback by Mrs Kim as her harshness reminds her too much of her own overbearing mother.

[@not-a-ghost2206]

Thank for acknowledging the Emily issue. I really said "finally someone says it" out loud. I have a mother like that and she too doesn't understand that i never felt like I was enough, why I am stressed and irritated the minute I leave their house. She can't even accept the fact that it maybe was due to something she made me feel. It always comes back to "oh am I a bad mum", but i never said that. Just because you gave someone a standard living and helped them with problems doesn't mean that kid should kiss the floor youre walking on. Lorelai was the happiest and most independent the time she cut contact with her mom.

[@SerenaSkybourne]

YESS louder for the people in the back!

[@dareisayit]

Eh, I saw Lorelai and Rory’s relationship different. There were many times, especially in the first seasons, where Rory was more of the parent and had to act as a sounding board for her mother. The first time this dynamic started failing was with Jess because of the first time Rory was acting as a teenager. Lorelai treated this kid , who was dealing with abandonment and anger, absolutely horribly and got away with it by everyone. People actively joined in because of Lorelai and it was all just because he ‘reminded her of Christopher’. The whole scene in which she tells Rory that she’s ‘smarter than this….😢 Her being sassy in the later episodes (when she went to college) was, to me, her stunted and acting like the teenager she was never allowed to be and in turn part of the cycle as Lorelai was never allowed to be a teenager too.

[@Colee617-n6q]

Great points! I truly cringed on the episode that during Lorelei’s breakup with Luke I believe, and she was distraught, bedridden etc…. when Sookie called Rory to come from Yale to help/soothe her mother… OMG 😳 I was sick to my stomach watching that! 🤮 I would never lean on my daughter that way…. I’d call a friend, coworker, preferably a therapist first!! and my daughter & I are extremely close, she’s a junior in college, but there are burdens I refuse to place on her. She would absolutely know about a break up, but never to that degree.

[@magnetfisch]

​@@Colee617-n6qoh come on, in college you're already an adult. At some point it's okay to lean on your children. Ofc not all the time but when are they supposed to learn that parents have feelings, too?

[@Colee617-n6q]

@@magnetfisch I definitely respect your pov.....but for me, it was too much.

[@Sandra-Gibora]

@@Colee617-n6q I agree with you 100%! Even when your child is an adult, he or she is still your child.

[@Colee617-n6q]

@@magnetfisch I respect your opinion, to each his/her own. Like I said, she would know about the breakup & I'm hurt, but not to that degree. that's just me, respectively.

[@erichamilton3373]

I suppose Richard and Emily were from a generation where the parents always show a united front against the kids. My parents were like that. They were very dedicated to each other and they came first in their hearts. They were amazing spouses to each other, but us kids were definitely secondary.

[@IchibanOjousama]

What generation are you talking about? That's how it is and how it should be.

[@erichamilton3373]

@@IchibanOjousama I was born 1966. Perhaps it's cultural. I live in another country now and it's definitely kids first. I also think younger generations are focusing on the kids more in the US. In the past, it was more about getting the kids out to leave the parents alone.

[@TheAwetist802]

@@IchibanOjousama Richard and Emily are Baby Boomers. And that, combined with their station in life and economic class, explains a LOT of why they are the way they are as parents.

[@queencleopatra007]

​@@TheAwetist802 they are the Silent Generation. Before baby boomers

[@akinyiomer4589]

I'm an elder millennial and I understand exactly what you mean about the parents being a united front. While I agree that that should be the case disciplinary-wise to the parent/child relationship, the latter part of your statement about feeling like 2nd place in their hearts really made me so, so sad. Y'see that part I don't agree with, and I strongly believe that those two concepts are not mutually exclusive. Yes, in order to have consistent parenting (for boundaries, for the kids' sense of justice and fairness, for the division of emotional and physical labour of child rearing between the parents) - it's good to be a united front so no one single parent feels undermined or like they're the "fun" parent or the "bad cop" parent and so have any future relationship twisted by that. HOWEVER I'm very much a kids come first when you have them in all situations. i.e. my spouse could be the love of my life but that deep love I feel is also contingent on their own love & relationship for their kid. And I hope they expect the same of me. So if one us somehow mistreated or neglects the kids, then that's worthy of serious intervention from marriage counselling/family therapy to divorce. Instant divorce in severe cases. I would expect my husband to say "I don't want it to happen but if there's a fire and it's between you or our child, child's gotta be priority#1." That's not to say I will be dignified in my suffering or death, it's just that I UNDERSTAND. I would try and HELP my husband achieve that tragic outcome for as long as I was conscious and mentally able. We should love our children that much. Now for the more realistic, everyday family challenges where I'm not pretending I'm a hero - it doesn't mean losing yourself as an individual or a couple to your kids. You have to pour into yourself and your love to keep larger lives going. BUT I hope & expect that my hubby would view it, as I would, as a matter of balancing priorities so we had enough space to tend to each other but the kids always knew they came first. Yes your romantic life and sex life will take a hit cause your kid is going through terrible toddler phase or angry teen phase. And the cost IS huge. But I am raising a precious human to set them up for future stability and happiness. It's a responsibility I take seriously. So the kids issues always come first, and me and partner find ways to compromise and make it work through the challenging seasons as best we can while not totally losing ourselves. I see people post that question on reddit every few years, should your prioritise your spouse or kids and it's always been a no-brainer to me. You should love and prioritise your spouse like crazy but ultimately they're an independent adult who can live without you and might not be bonded to you forever; your ultimate priority needs to go to the precious people you two made (or adopted/fostered) because that's the only love in this world that's *close* to unconditional. Just my opinion.

[@lindseystein9676]

I only recently watched the show and almost stopped a couple of times. My mum is an Emily, very much alike, so that aspect of the show stressed me out a lot.

[@SerenaSkybourne]

yeah i'd totally understand if it was too confronting to see a character like that

[@vanessaferreira7905]

Same here! It’s so triggering tbh

[@juliannerose7174]

Same! I have to skip through most of her scenes or my mood will be ruined for the rest of the day...

[@hannahfuhlhage5342]

As a burnout former gifted kid, I see so much of myself in Rory, at least academically. Going from a loving and supportive environment to college is absolutely insane, especially when so much importance has been placed on your academics. It's really hard to realize that you're actually not special and plenty of people are just as smart as you are. The difference is that for most former gifted kids, that is the point at which you take time for introspection and leave your bubble. Rory never left her bubble, which is why she is so insufferable in later seasons.

[@gabrielleduplessis7388]

I think where I really shipped rory and jess is when he improved himself and in a non creepy way snuck into her room at her grandparents. I liked how she was the first person he wanted to read his book. Her opinion meant a lot. I also liked how mature he was when Logan gave him sh**t which did not happen in the beginning. This is the version of Jess that I wanted Rory with. I have mixed reactions with the bus trip to see Jess. On the one hand, she was a teenager who was sad and at the time, Jess was this solace for her. So on this spontaneous decision, she decided to go to someone she felt safe with. I also think she needed closure. It was not his fault she dissed her mom’s graduation to see him. She made that decision. No I do not condone him almost raping her. I do not condone his verbal abuse at the beginning. I do not approve him icing her out and saying “I love you” at the worst possible times. I approve of the man he became.

[@jeannemilne3150]

I wonder if Mitchum was actually trying to test or challenge Rory. If she really had what it took, she would have pushed herself to prove him wrong. What's sad is that's all she ever thought she wanted to be, so then she became lost. She has no idea what she can do with her strengths. She was also a fool to turn down the teaching job.

[@WannabeDancer72]

Whew! You don't know how glad I am to have found the side of the Gilmore Girls fandom that realises Emily is very emotionally abusive. She's a compelling character to watch and very well written, no doubt, but she's abusive. Lorelei has her faults, but the way Emily gaslights, picks on and flies into rages at Lorelei is actually horrible to watch. I hated the way Emily screamed at her in A Year In The Life. The fans that insist on Lorelei being the main problem in her relationship with Emily baffle me.

[@anishinaabae]

thank you for saying this! i think kelly bishop is a fantastic actress, so her charisma can often blind the audience to her character's faults, but despite her pithy one-liners rattled off with ease emily is *awful* to lorelai and it hurts to watch. as someone whose family suffers immensely from intergenerational trauma (thanks, colonization!) i'm always pretty damn sensitive to dynamics like the one shared between emily and lorelai!

[@Colee617-n6q]

I feel that both Emily & Lorelai were abusive to one another and needed an intervention longgg ago! I often wondered why Richard never stepped in. I hated to watch the disrespect between the 2. They could never “talk” to or listen to each other during conflict.

[@ireysword]

​@@Colee617-n6qI think the reason he never stepped in is because of his mother. She very blatantly humiliated Emily at any given situation. It didn't matter what Emily did. She tried very hard to please her mother in law, but simply couldn't. And when you see Richards reaction to this, it is merely a bit of fun for him. He doesn't take Trix emotional abuse of Emily in any way seriously. So why should he take the fights between Emily and Lorelai serious? I feel like to him stuff like emotional abuse isn't a thing. Granted given his generation and age that's not surprising, but if this stuff tears your family apart again and again you need to change something.

[@sydneyeliah8463]

I totally agree with what you had to say about Lane! She was such a good friend to Rory and was so smart. I could have seen her going further into the music world as a band scout or even having a radio show or something! Also you should watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer!!! I think you would really like it!

[@stuffwithsoph8264]

Omg yes, she would love Buffy

[@heidiveerle]

I am loving this gilmore girls series you've started!

[@SerenaSkybourne]

aww Heidi!! thankyou

[@jennifergood4123]

I really appreciated your evaluations of all the boyfriends. I felt like you showed the good and the bad of all of them. All too often it seems people pick a fave and choose to ignore all their bad moments and focus only on the bad moments of the other guys.

[@xeshacinds]

TWO HOURS girl I am so ready

[@SerenaSkybourne]

i've never done a video this long before!

[@xeshacinds]

@@SerenaSkybourne we love it ✨️

[@Tilleyforever44]

One of my favorite things about GG is that even characters you don't like, you find yourself appreciating how realistic they are. Rory becomes unlikable but it makes sense for her character, same with what you said about Emily. We get diversity in all the characters. As for it not being the best show ever, sure, but like you said we grew up with it. I, personally, am very emotionally invested in every character and it's my comfort show. I realized a lot of my personality as an adult is centered around GG. I started college as a hospitality management major because of Lorelai, I think I still want to go into hotel management even though I ended up getting my degrees in Psychology and Mental Health Work. It was such a landmark of its time, and some things have aged poorly but overall, I find it still so charming and I rewatch it multiple times a year.

[@sheenawickham860]

Awesome video! Love it! Can’t wait for the other ones you mentioned ❤️

[@SerenaSkybourne]

More to come! Thankyou darling 🎉💅

[@carr0760]

With regards to the feminism issue and Rory having to choose a job over a boyfriend.... That's not exactly what happened. He proposed and she said she wasn't ready to get married, but she didn't want to break up with him. HE's the one who insisted they either get engaged or break up. HE made her choose between her career and him. Which is exactly why he wasn't actually the good boyfriend that people seem to think he was. He wanted her to just follow him around. She chose staying true to herself which absolutely is the feminist move.

[@Colee617-n6q]

The interesting part about that was, her “career” never really happened. And I recall Logan saying she would have her pick of newspapers in SFO! he was ALWAYS willing to support her doing what she loved professionally and believed in her.

[@carr0760]

@@Colee617-n6q She didn't want to go and work there though. She wanted the job that she took (Obama campaign). He wasn't willing to support her in that. I don't care at all but what happened in the revival because that was complete BS. It doesn't exist to me. I'm only discussing the original series.

[@Colee617-n6q]

@@carr0760 I definitely respect your pov. I do feel that if maybe she expressed and communicated that to him, he very well may have supported that too. She never communicated well at all. As an example: “Logan of course Id love to marry you at some point, if we can have a long engagement, I want to take the opportunity to work on the Obama campaign; and join you in SFO etc…” the non explanation for completely turning down the engagement and lack of communication was disappointing, to someone she claimed to love so much and couldn’t live without. IMO.

[@magnetfisch]

​@@Colee617-n6qas far as I remember she would have to stay at home since it's "family tradition" in Logan's Family

[@bambaolina]

i watched gilmore girls for the first time in 2022 and I’m so excited to watch this!!!!

[@SerenaSkybourne]

haha same! I was a bit late to the game

[@blurryeyes316]

Me too!

[@averagestudent-io2dr]

Same!

[@wrenkramer7223]

the thing that people neglect to mention about jess is how he’s more than just a love interest. people critisize what kind of a boyfriend he is but they usually don’t focus on how depressed and self hating he was. he was 17 and has been abandoned by both of his parents and now was surrounded by people he hated and people trying to force him to be someone else. this is proven when he shows up again as an adult with his life together and much less moody and more talkative, proving he was just in a very dark place in his life. i’m not exactly defending him as a boyfriend but i’m saying that he had even more parental issues than lorelei and still people don’t care as much as they should’ve.

[@LuisanaRamirez]

I watched GG during its original run (2000-2007) and I was starting uni and this show kept me sane hahahahaha. I also remember how intense the whole Lorelai and Luke was/is (Javajunkie forever) and how I loved Logan from the begining! Now I'm 30 something, and every autum I religiously start all over again. Like they say "It's a lifestyle, it's a religion". "You've been Gilmored". Lauren Graham NAILED it as Lorelai. THANK YOU SO MUCH for this essay (and the ones to come). Nostalgia runs deep over here.

[@SerenaSkybourne]

i'm so glad you enjoyed ittt

[@RilianSharp]

paris bullied rory way more than tristan did. so it would be a harmful trope for rory to date either one of them, implying that if someone bullies you it means they love you.

[@SerenaSkybourne]

i think rory and paris came to a point in their relationship later in the show where it was rly healthy, for a long time they were in a good place. So i think i would have been ok with them dating at that point (maybe later). However, with Tristan it was different because the apology was so rushed and short-lived. However, overall I agree with you that dating someone who bullied you is harmful

[@kenna3105]

8:30 honestly i took emily doing her DAR meetings at the inn was just a way to “get back” at lorelie for assuming she had ulterior motives but idk

[@kalystaortiz3701]

emotional and narcissistic abuse is no joke and lorelai has every right to not want anything to do with emily but as you mentioned the financial abuse plays into it too and it’s sad because that’s all too common to find yourself financially dependent on someone who abuses you thank you for bringing light to that as well as DARVO and power dynamics!

[@franklein6733]

I loved Logan..I think he was the perfect man for Rory..He understood her and accepted her for just who he was..(And he has a smile that lights up the room )..He would have respected Rory's desire for her own career even if they were married ..That was one of the most disappointing part of the show..He truly believed in her and was very much in love with her !! 💜

[@dnister_nymph]

Here I’m once again watching the 2-hour deep dive on a show I’ve never seen and enjoying it

[@dovelyy]

i just found your channel yesterday when the algorithm showed me your rory video. i subscribed after binging a lot of your videos and i can't believe i'm getting another gilmore girls vid the day after. and a two hour long one at that!

[@SerenaSkybourne]

omg its like a new year gift from me to you haha

[@ChristineSolazzo]

David was great. Adam Brody the actor is amazing in every thing he is in. Seth was my fave in the OC also

[@KaytchC1790]

I’m sure she wasn’t written this way on purpose, buuuuuuut… having been recently diagnosed with ADHD at 32 and being a huge Gilmore Girls fan, Lorelai exhibits countless ADHD symptoms. Specifically undiagnosed/ untreated 😅👀🤔

[@ann2433]

Absolutely! From the coffee-addiction to the ‘childyness’ and the the ‘starting things and quit halfway, etc. etc. 😅😅✋

[@leilanyx]

to be fair about the whole rory being late for the test thing, she was up late studying and lorelai fell asleep next to her, so there were no alarms to wake her up on time. she tried to get to school on time despite it and i think she would've, but then there was the whole thing with the deer hitting her car. her reaction to not being able to take the test was valid bc it wasn't like she didn't try and wasn't studying super hard for it. she was tired and stressed and definitely overworking herself which is probably why she overslept.

[@stephjovi]

Yeah they didn't have alarms on their phones. Their alarms were next to their beds different time

[@Jessica.Shawnte]

It was her fault tho she knew the school policy and after her mother told her to go sleep on time she didn’t listen… yes she hit the deer but she could’ve kept going she didn’t have to stop knowing she would be late for the test but once again that perfect bubble she was in she couldn’t see her fault in it

[@leilanyx]

@@Jessica.Shawnte yeah, obviously it's not to say she wasn't at some fault for that, but there were a lot of contributing factors that def worked against her getting there on time. like, for example, rory had already gotten a D(?) on a test like the week prior and she was stressed about that, which 100% contributed to her wanting to stay up and study more so she'd be more prepared. at this point i can sympathise with her because it's a bit of an unforgivng school policy on students who are already likely overworking themselves to succeed. imo, chilton was an overrated school.

[@lauraigla6319]

It's a hard lesson in life that rory was meant to learn, which is that things happen that are not your fault, but they are still your responsibility and cone with consequences. Rory being given an eventual pass here(as they did relent and let her take the test later) was one of the first moments we seen in the show that enabled her to become the person she is in the revival, an adult who won't take responsibility for the way her life is and acts like she's entitled to a pass at everything.

[@mickaylao.9744]

@@lauraigla6319 she wasn't allowed to retake the test though. She was given extra credit assignments that were designed to be more difficult than the test she missed. The point of that episode was how unrelenting Chilton really was, how much harder it was than Stars Hollow High and how Rory had to learn to adjust. It isn't unreasonable for a school to make some accommodations for a student who isn't used to that but had tried her best.

[@aliiciia555]

I am team Jess all the way, but not as a boyfriend. He was a bad boyfriend. What I love in him, is how he developed to be a good mature man. He clearly have family issues ( his dad left him, his mom have a lot of crappy boyfriends and husbands so we can imagine what he can saw from those men, also his mom used marihuana and things like that she mentioned her wedding day, he was raised by the streets). He has the less stabil family from all of Rory's boyfriends. And he got scared from this stabil home, and the fact that he screwed up so he run away. His relationship with Rory was just a part of his development, help him to change later. But Luke was the one who actually help him became his best version. And that version of what I really love and why he is my fav.

[@ChristineSolazzo]

My fave also

[@inga1721]

This is such an intelligent analysis of the relationships between characters🙂

[@uvtarot5873]

This is so spot on. I've always related to Lorelei and both of my parents have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Thank you for this breakdown I really enjoyed it

[@SerenaSkybourne]

my pleasure angel

[@annimagzombies]

I love hearing your insights into Gilmore Girls! You bring up aspects that I had never thought about and really make me rethink some things about my favorite show. Love it! Thank you! 💙

[@katevenhorst1723]

Hearing Rory say, “it’s either grad school or groveling for jobs I don’t want” really rubbed me the wrong way. Oh, I’m so sorry you would “have” to go to grad school or work jobs your don’t ~love~. So many people would kill to go to grad school and my god it is so rare to work a job you genuinely love. Yes, Rory was raised by a hard-working woman who built herself up without help from her wealthy parents (until she needed money for Rory’s schooling) BUT Rory also grew up not ever really facing any insurmountable hardships that couldn’t be fixed by running to Richard and Emily. She always had a Plan B, so she’s never really had to worry too much. Lorelai always made sure they had money for food, their home (until the house had termites, but she still didn’t want to ask her parents), books for school and fun, clothes, etc. Lorelai always made sure Rory was taken care of. Emily and Richard provided the extras that enabled the worst in Rory.

[@anneyfrancis701]

Rory should have jobs like any normal kid, Dean was working, Jess was working. She was just spoiled brat

[@m-tapes3359]

i love your points about jess!! he was such a good character and he deserved to get growth outside of his relationship with rory. it's hard cus it feels like everyone who likes jess likes him as rory's boyfriend but it's so true that they probably shouldn't be together. great video

[@kristen7687]

tw: sexual violence regarding dean fighting jess, aside from how i completely see how inappropriate and overbearing it was as well as the fact that i don’t normally condone violence: jess DESERVED THAT PUNCH. it’s regularly overlooked how jess kept touching rory after the point when she said no. and then he got angry at her for rejecting his sexual advances. that whole scene disturbed me to my core and every time someone talks about how great jess is i can’t help but think about that

[@kristen7687]

wait ok this was mentioned thank you

[@nata6025]

I think this is the best video essay of the Gilmore Girls I've seen. You've addressed the elephant in the room

[@SerenaSkybourne]

thanks so much

[@chloereed8792]

Newest headcannon: since Luke is obsessed with health food he's actually been switching out the meat in the chili cheese fries to textured vegetable protein since Lorelai first tried to wean Rory onto them at age 2.

[@charisma1322]

Girl you are so well spoken, I am very impressed. Great content! Keep it up.