SERIOUSLY?! -Trans Men in Bathrooms-Story Time

[@izx4132]

I always wedge toilet paper in stall doors that wont close to get them to hold long enough to go. Plus if someone sees toilet paper acting as a door holder you know they wont go trying to open it.

[@jenniferhollingsworth1275]

Izx Excellent idea, thank you!

[@jessesmth]

I don't get it either. I'm cis and I hate going to bars for this very reason. I know that there is never a safe or comforable place to use the bathroom. Plus drunk men are always ready to laugh at you for sitting on a toilet in the open.

[@doubleboy2388]

If you're a regular male then why do you want to sit down on the toilet anyway

[@jakescar2404]

@@doubleboy2388 to poo probably or maybe they just prefer sitting and peeing

[@Rowe_Ti]

try to do that mirror situation in a Women's washroom and it will be a national issue.

[@eminemele1531]

Riya Dey honestly though

[@Brendawallingbear]

True

[@loverboyn-n-SoupBrain]

thet had that at my school and it pissed me off because the one time I couldn't hold my piss cuz I don't pass and have to go in the girls room or imma get sucker punched or something and I had to pidd and you could see me pissing through the fucking mirror when u walked in and there where people in there I had a fuckin mental break down and went to the office after and talked to a counselor shits still the same according to ligit everyone

[@owenpridgen4406]

In Canada that wouldn’t fly . That’s why I wear a STP as much as I can in fear of this happening . But my STP can leak lol I am trying to save up for a better one .

[@loverboyn-n-SoupBrain]

fucking America man we had this in our fucking schools because of school shooting threts because that fucking makes sence it was on the news

[@elijahbritton8341]

EUGH. Bless potty partners tho, they save my life. I was driving for like two-ish hours with one male & one female identifying friend, & towards the end all three of us needed to use the restroom. So we pull over to a gas station that I know has stalls in the mens room (as many of you can relate - a must!). The guys separate from the gal in ye olde bathroom land, & as we walk into the mens room we realize that the stall is definitely occupied, & it's definitely not going to be NOT occupied any time soon. The gentleman within was having a lengthy phone conversation about business AND taking care of.. business. I stood outside the mens room for a solid few minutes before bowing my head & sprinting into the lady's room, then texting my gal friend to come retrieve me. GOOD TIMES. We all yelled about how strange it is to have a telephone conversation on the pot, especially in a public place. Like, I wouldn't want to be negotiating a buy & hear you poopin'? And it's so ECHO-Y in bathrooms. tldr; restrooms are weird as heck.

[@tr3xgaming807]

This is why i constantly try to avoid public bathrooms, like seriously a stall without a door? That’s ridiculous

[@LadyAneh]

Ah, thank goodness I don’t have a social life, thus never run into iffy bathrooms in entertainment or drinking venues. Problem solved. 😅 Oh, I just made myself sad... Back to binge watching The Magicians...

[@evanzeis8632]

Armie of One the magicians is great tbh. This is really relatable lol

[@LadyAneh]

Evan Zeis Nice to meet another fan! 😃 Sigh...the wait for season 4 is tough, but I shall persevere, lol.

[@loverboyn-n-SoupBrain]

they had this at my school u don't need to have a fuckin social life dude the struggle is fucking every where

[@herrickinman9303]

There are doors with working latches on the stalls at restaurants and stores. But bars probably take the doors down or remove the latches to stop people having sex or passing out drunk or shooting up in a locked stall. The stalls in public restrooms in parks and at beaches sometimes have no doors as a matter of policy, to discourage sex in public restrooms.

[@Pynkxie]

When I was In the Sea Cadets on a summer training most of the shower lock was broken and as we had a very little amount of time to take our shower we had no choice to use them all so we had to craft a lock with hair elastics ... every day for six weeks !

[@wyattwells8558]

I went to a pub near me that I've been going to since before transitioning. The women's room had 2 stalls. The men's room was set up like a single bathroom. A toilet and then a urinal beside it. The door doesn't lock either! Why the hell would someone piss next to someone who was taking a dump? I have no idea what is up with the people who design these bathrooms. Whenever I have to pee while I'm there I have a friend guard the door for me. I also went to another bar with the same situation and some dude opened the door while I was peeing. He just like looked at me and then turned around and walked out. The door was like parallel to the toilet. Thankfully all the guy good see was my thigh and part of my ass. It is insane how businesses just have these inadequate bathrooms. Like I understand some places are small but just make it a single bathroom with a locking door then! Guys piss fast anyways and that way you will only need a toilet. Bring on the POTTY PARTNER t-shirts!!!

[@bryntendo]

Sometimes it's handy to carry a bag or backpack or something with you, then if the door won't lock you can just prop your backpack up on the floor against the bottom of the door, keeping it from swinging open. Usually people will see that the door is closed and there's a bag on the floor in the stall too, so they won't think it's empty and come walking in. That's helped me a whole bunch of times tbh. And this is why STPs are so useful. Even if you don't use it all the time, even if it's just a medicine spoon you keep in your pocket for just such emergencies - Have one and k ow how to use it just in case. If you had a simple medicine spoon with a hole in the bottom tucked in your pocket, you could just walk into that stall, face away from everyone, pee standing up quickly, and boom, done. Doesn't matter about the door or the mirror or anything - Cis guys walk into stalls and piss with the door open all the time. Seriously, a backup simple failsafe STP is what you need for these situations!

[@daxmarshel]

Bryn Jackson in a pinch, a flat stick (tongue depressor or popsicle type) would've held the door, even. A straw from the bar, folded, even. I get creative with doors! Good luck, everyone!

[@Brendawallingbear]

Medicine spoon?

[@kalmorgan1383]

If you’re completely stuck in this type of situation, have to pee so badly that you might panic, ask another dude to hook his foot under the door because you need to ‘go’ real bad. Exaggerate the ‘go’ so he assumes a dump. Problem solved.

[@loverboyn-n-SoupBrain]

yeah not when there is no door at ur school bathroom

[@unconditionallykaleb]

I H A T E the toilet behind a wall situation. It's not even always bars, occasionally I find them in casual restaurants. They never seem to fix locks on men's room stalls, either.

[@lordfreeza_]

unconditionallykaleb almost as if men are less complacent about these issues.. Which makes it even funnier when supposed trans"men" start crying about it.. I thought you "felt like men"? So why are you all complaining that the men's room isn't more like the women's?? 80% of.people at bars are going to pee in the bathrooms.. women have to use toilets so their bathrooms have more whereas men can use urinals that take up less space so bars will place mostly urinals in mens rooms as they save space and money.. But yeah let's force businesses to install more toilets that most men won't even use, that will cost the businesses money all to spare the feelings of less then 0.01% of the population...

[@unconditionallykaleb]

Thank you for explaining bathrooms for me, that was so helpful. Men use toilets. I don't really understand what you're even saying here. MY major issue is that I have IBS and I don't want everyone in the establishment to know that I have diarrhea.

[@lordfreeza_]

unconditionallykaleb passive aggression is a very feminine trait.

[@unconditionallykaleb]

And you're coming to a channel about trans issues to harass trans people. Should we be kind to you?

[@lordfreeza_]

unconditionallykaleb "harass"?? Lol okay I'm done

[@ZipperT93]

I've done the foot pressed against the door thing so many times. It's such a pain, kind of like using a train bathroom

[@dumbedass4068]

i went to nyc about a year a half ago and we had decided to explore time square. i remember running around to every business i could find, asking people for their receipts (because most businesses had keypads on the bathrooms and you got a code on your receipt to use the restroom) only to get in the bathroom and have the toilet seat be drenched in piss. i must have burned through an hour just trying to find a damn bathroom where i could sit down and take a piss. thank god for the disney store in time square lmao

[@Asheruh]

DUUUUUUDE. Preach! There is a bathroom at a bar here in Springfield, MO where the men's room has 4ish urinals along the side walls and then directly in front of the door, centered in the back wall is the one and only toilet. No walls. Not stalls. No doors. Just out there. I've had to piss there numerous times early in my transition and with no one there with me. In SPRINGFIELD MO. ugh.

[@8thDwarfDerpy]

I've noticed women's bathrooms are so much nicer no matter where you are. I havent had to use a men's bathroom more than once and it honestly was the worst. And just so people understand where this is coming from I'm ftm in the process of starting T.

[@lordfreeza_]

Vincent then why don't you use the male bathroom??

[@ZapzipapC]

Not really tbh. Women usually leave their bloody messes all over the stalls and tampons and shit. Either gender bathroom can be nasty

[@loverboyn-n-SoupBrain]

not always bopth girls and guys bathroooms have no dooor at my school

[@michelangelopegasus1031]

One of my classes at the UW is in a building with a men's bathroom with only one stall with NO DOOR. Our break is only 5 minutes and I have to run downstairs to another bathroom for privacy. I can't imagine why there is no door on the stall in this bathroom at a university where the risks of recreational drug use and public hookups are unlikely. I also went to the bars in my hometown in Eastern Washington last weekend and was literally bracing for an attack every time I went to the men's room. My fears were not entirely rational I'm sure, but I felt unsafe and was terrified that somebody was going to bust into the stall while I was peeing. Thanks for sharing your experience; it helps to talk about these things with other trans people!

[@spiceandmice9135]

I went to a mall once where the women's side had upwards of ten stalls (been there plenty before I transitioned), and the men's side had a single one, which was occupied for long enough that I gave up.

[@loverboyn-n-SoupBrain]

at least it had a door my school one has no door not one blocking it from the hall or one blocking the mirror or people walking in

[@CAScorpio]

I feel your frustration.. I am very particular about bathroom and always use a stall and have come across some sketchy bathrooms.. Even ones in other counties. Yeah the hole in the ground..

[@Brendawallingbear]

I've used men's restrooms with a lot less stress than that, even when I was female presenting. As I listened to your story, especially towards the end, I remembered how I had struggled with shy bladder using the public women's restroom. Hmm. Maybe there's a reason for that, that I hadn't connected.

[@danataylor9507]

I am a woman not trans. Your is hilarious because it's true. My story is nothing like that. I was shopping at dollar tree and needed to use the restroom. The women's was closed and out of order. I went to the men's and knocked no answer so I walked in and was grateful no one saw me. I did my business and got out.

[@jilliand6591]

I've come across a couple bathrooms without doors on them but those ones where outdoor bathrooms at parks or in cities. Probably to prevent the homeless from shooting up in there.

[@EmerikTurcotte]

Omg 😂 well I can feel your struggle ! It's like at my own job when I have yo go pee... While regular clients recognize me as a female. -.- but then... They notices my voice too and all what they says is: Oh, are you sick? I think I should tattoo my face saying That I'm a male 😂 or simply look for another job 😂

[@n.8537]

Oh my God, your cat as so freaking adorable😭❤...the toilet situation is ridiculous🙈 like, the lack of privacy😱 Loved the intro though😂

[@the1killjoy657]

Luckily I've never come across a no door bathroom in the UK, I have however come across some naaaasty af ones that I've had to spend like 5 minutes cleaning the seat in before I can sit bc something I learned real quick when I started using the mens room is that blokes just don't aim, so the piss is everywhere all of the time

[@loverboyn-n-SoupBrain]

lucky my school bathrooms don't have doors

[@Tser]

I have to use the disabled accessible stall because I use a mobility device (depending on how bad a day it is). I can't tell you how many times the doors have been broken. (Not to mention waiting and waiting for the only stall.) They really don't make it a priority to keep them functional. :/ I've experienced this in both the men's and women's lines. And all the "tricks" for closing the door (bags, sticks, etc.) aren't always useful for people who might have disabilities including dexterity or mobility difficulties. And "have an emergency STP" doesn't work for some disabled trans guys (or able bodied trans guys either, not everyone's built the same!). And no one should HAVE to use an STP if they don't want to. I know also there are religions that have strict rules about privacy for things like bathroom use, and they can't use restrooms like that either. (hahaha corporeal cuddling for cats)

[@wolfblood08]

It was early on when I first started transitioning that I was at a bar in DC that had a very similar situation. A wall of urinals and a little partition between the toilet and the sink....I wish I had an STP that would work for urinals just for sutuations like that because I have held it just so I didnt have to go where there wasnt a door, or a faulty one... I honestly didnt know how much of a thing no doors was until I switched bathrooms.....

[@xrpjon_998]

Funny, I’m actually in the same situation this very moment and I have to use a sharpie to lock the door because there is no lock on it. Smh the struggle -__-

[@loverboyn-n-SoupBrain]

at least theres a door un like my school

[@zakbrand7354]

I find it weird that at the y i have to use the family change room rather then the male change room.

[@leonred4312]

I don't understand the whole no door thing. I once went to a restroom where there was a curtain instead of a door. Why?

[@seattlechick101]

Don't go to Jameson's Bar in DT Eugene. Great bar, but my wife and I went not too long ago and when I went into the mens bathroom I thought "how much do I really have to pee." They have a urinal and toilet, no wall divider just 1 big open room and no door lock. Buuuut I had to go so I just went as fast as I could. :/

[@loverboyn-n-SoupBrain]

that's some straight bs

[@adapwulf2297]

I live in Green Bay, WI and allll the bars around here are like that. I actually do not go out anymore because of this reason. And when you are drinking you have to pee. I went out on Halloween last year and there was a stall, that locked but with super low walls and you could see over it. These guys were obviously pretty drunk but peeked over and asked if I was shitting. I was sooo nervous that they would figure out I was trans. It shouldn’t be this hard to go to the bathroom.

[@ashers9225]

You should bring those hats back!

[@13Sammy]

The pottypartner shirt is a funny thought... I was thinking maybe someone could create an accessory with a symbol that looks nice and just the people who know the symbol will know.... Like something that you can clip to your shirt or a bracelet like thing... Then we only need to make sure that we spread the message in the community... Would be nice...

[@Markkain777]

Sam91 this exists! Its called "ill go with you" and its generally on a pin with the trans colours on it but the term "ill go with you" means exactly that someone who will accompany trans folks to the restroom for safty or comfort

[@billygoatgone4440]

One time their was a tall angled mirror in the stall! And it faced out on the top so that people could see you from the mirror and me and my friend became mirror blockers for each other

[@tiannimyers1204]

I get it but tbh I would have still peed there. There usually isn’t high traffic in the mens bathroom compared to womens and it takes like 10 secs to piss and pat dry so no big deal.

[@saradangererickson7031]

So one time I went to a bowling alley that had a bathroom with saloon doors. You know those doors in old western movies that just swing open (no locks or latches)? I did what you did, tried to go as quickly as possible while praying that no one walked in.

[@rainbowtropolis]

LUCKY ATTACKS AGAIN lol... LOVE YOU LUCKY!!! I just pretend I have to take a stinky poo and warn everyone. BUT, I have a cis male boyfriend, who told me outright, "DO NOT FOLLOW ME INTO THE MEN'S ROOM WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER." ouch. But I guess I still can get away with using the women's room because I'm trying my best to look as neutral as possible as of this post. eventually I want to let my beard grow but with cis BF saying "I don't want to be seen as gay in public" it's kinda tough situation to be in. Not being able to be myself or represent how I want to but not lose my BF of 15 years is tough to decide.

[@Ghoulx13]

I went to a bar in Gainesville FL Halloween last year and the bathroom was really small could barely fit 2 people I went in and it was one urinal and next to it a stall with no door and the toilet didn’t even have a seat and no toilet paper it looked abandoned tbh, I’ve had a couple of beers and I really had to go so I walked out to see if I could go to the women’s and there was a girl puking and another girl helping her I was in the hall looking in the girls bathroom and this guy comes up to me and tells me to go to the men’s bathroom repeatedly like if I was some pervert watching a girl puke lol so I have no choice but to go back to men’s and luckily it was empty so I went in and then i opened the door again and looked outside the bathroom and no one was coming so I squatted real fast and peed repeating in my head “please don’t let anyone walk in” over and over again and the pulled my pants back on and walked out as quick as possible. If someone were to go in they would’ve seen me squatting and my junk for sure. It was one of the worst moments of my life.

[@jaxxonchessa6254]

A popular bar in NYC "stonewall" bathroom downstairs only has one toilet but two urinals in the other bathroom. Upstairs there one with a toilet and the other with a urinal and toilet...the toilet one has a tiny wall just like your situation. No privacy. Like if there's gonna be a toilet put a damn DOOR! It's crazy.

[@majinspopovich6392]

Jaxxon Chessa wow its almost as if they designed the bathroom for people who are biologically male?? What an outrage, they should design mens bathrooms for female anatomy!!! All the complaints that transmen have about mens bathrooms are things that women complain about... The thing is, if you decide to use the bathroom that is for the opposite sex you can't then complain about it not accommodating your anatomy..

[@xxkamrynxx2588]

When stonewall open only cis gay men were aloud in the bar. But they should have definitely changed the bathrooms now that’s not the case anymore.

[@jayl9744]

All i can say is will someone make a Stand to Pee life like, that will make using the restrooms less awkward maybe

[@rf123490]

In boot camp you go to the bathroom with no door on the stall, lol

[@AlexxOH]

One time I was out at a club I’ve been to a few times, there are 2 stalls and both the locks generally work and the doors are huge with no gaps so it’s pretty good. So one night I walked into the bathroom, saw one of the doors was open slightly and went to walk in to find a boy passed out on the toilet with his pants down and vomit absolutely everywhere 🤢

[@thomasholman5062]

i went to an arena for a horse show and i had to pee so i walked into the guys bathroom and waited for a stall. both of the stalls were being used so i waited and then a guy and his kid walks in and as soon as he sees me he grabs his kid and was like "OH, is this the right bathroom''and checks for the urinals and such. well by then in==every guy is starring at me like awkwardly so i just walk out and my girlfriends like that was fast and i told her the whole story and she was shocked and luckily there was anoth guys bathroom in this building that i could use.

[@M1ZF1TZZ]

I keep my keys on a D ring/ S hook because we come across a lot of broken bathroom locks.

[@loverboyn-n-SoupBrain]

at least you have doors my schools bathroom dosnt have any doors because why care about privacy when u can be a piece of shit

[@alnthevalley1]

Hahaha! Funny- never realized what a huge problem... now I do

[@izx4132]

Also there is this dive bar I love but refuse to go to lately because the bathroom situation is ridiculous. It is literally a small ass toilet as soon as you open the door to the left of the restroom entrance and a urinal straight ahead. The restroom does not have a lock on it to keep anyone from going in. There is nothing to hide you from view if you are using the toilet.

[@lisalentile177]

That would make me mad too no privacy in the bathroom !

[@koutashinji]

I hate bathrooms like that! I've heard it's not a thing in other countries?

[@ZapzipapC]

You heard wrong

[@kristinmathewson6690]

Maybe you could make bracelets with a certain pendant that’s symbolizes “POTTY PARTNER”!

[@lynn8547]

One time I was really tired at a movie theatre so I forgot to lock the door. It was fairly crowded so of course in the middle of me doing my business a lady walked right in. Of course she apologized and I got up to lock the door and literally no joke like a second later another lady barges right in with my pants and underwear down standing up it was throughourly embarissing.

[@emmetlorerey1545]

Ha! Camera randomly falls lol

[@gabriellorca4993]

I would TOTALLY buy a "potty partner" t-shirt!

[@MikelD2017]

Sure you’ve been asked this a million times but where in Oregon are you

[@JacksonOfficials]

I was at a bar in Maine with my friends and the mens bathroom was just like that no door on the stall. Luckily my friend came in with me and stood watch but someone came in while I was peeing just to brush his hair in the mirror. So awkward dude.

[@emmetlorerey1545]

In my school senior year, I was given permission to use faculty restrooms but one day a faculty member didn't know I was allowed so they sent me to the girls restroom. They literally escorted me across the whole school and waited outside of the door and forced me to use the girls restroom.

[@theclovis.]

hey this is literally 2 years late but i found it kinda rad that we had the same name lmfao

[@zakbrand7354]

Sorry you had to go through that

[@markmedley6849]

Men have unwritten rules especially with public bathrooms and locker rooms. We try not to look at each other and we give each other plenty space. Follow the rules and nobody will care.

[@Mara-kz7md]

I had to poop in a toilet with no stall. Felt like prison.

[@lisalentile177]

Awwww I love the kitteey kitty

[@ameg6432]

One time, we went to my brothers baseball game last year. I had to pee, as anyone does. I didnt identify as transgender, but as genderfluid. (I wasn't out, but toileta still made me uneasy) okay, so we trekked across the grass to pee. We found it. It was a concrete building, 1 stall. The stall was pretty much visible to the outside world. Okay, I could deal with that. My mom was with me, so I waited for her to finish so I could go. Turns out, the freaking stall had a little curtain to block the entrance. My knees were sticking out, and there was a gap underneath the curtain of like 1 foot. I told my mom I was not about to pee in there, but she said we wont have another toilet to go in. I, of course, was put in a tough decision. Hold it and possibly get a bladder infection, or face embarrassment. I chose embarresment. I sit down on the toilet, and just bring the curtain up to my *stuff* so nobody would see me. Well, turns out it is hard to wipe and hold a curtain like a pair of pants.... I had to drop the curtain. I immediately finish and try to wash my hands. Ugh.... I have another one! I was at baseball practice, and I had to pee. Okay, I figured it was decently clean. I was wrong. There were two stalls, which you could pretty much see from the playground. Like, completely visible. I think, this isnt too bad. It gets worse. I walk into one stall, it is absolutely disgusting, a brown film on everything. There is no lock, but toilet paper. I check the second one. Better condition, yet, no toilet paper. I had to take the toilet paper from the first stall and squat in the second one. I finish, happy and disgusted. I go to wash my hands. No soap, no warm water. Only cold water that had a sign that pretty much said *unsanitary water*!!! I was so mad, not about to use that junk. I ran back to my mom and tell her everything. She gives me a sanitinzing wipe and hopes the city cleaned them. It was disgusting! 😲

[@emmetlorerey1545]

He says stall in a cool way

[@jacecmiller]

When the door is broken just make a lot of noise (cough, clear your throat), the only reason someone is heading to the stall is to use it. If they hear that someone is in it most guys wont go near. just go in and act like ur taking a dump, keep the toilet paper roll rolling

[@probablyalex]

I've never been in a situation like that but I've been in some weird toilets

[@loverboyn-n-SoupBrain]

my schools bathrooms are like that no door at all

[@tierneyirizarry7438]

Awesome video, you're on fire in this one! Love it. Potty partner for life

[@ThatPunkBrent]

dude why don't you just use a medicine spoon and keep it in your packet? works great for situations where you have to STP

[@ayazofluoglu]

4:30 lol

[@eli3568]

That's horse shit dude. No one should have to be in that situation, unfortunately I have had to deal with that too. It's hard enough using public restrooms that do have doors on the stalls, but I remember one time in particular, I was at this really cool bar/restaurant place in Joshua Tree that has live bands, it was seriously a cool place. But I had a few beers and had to pee. I went to the men's room and walk through the door, it's a urinal and a tiny little divider and then a toilet. The divider doesn't even go past your knees. And I'm like, great, what the fuck do I do now? So I was just like fuck it I'll go really fast, and just as a pulled my pants up and flushed a dude walks in and uses the urinal. Thank fucking God he didn't come in a few seconds earlier. Ruined my opinion of the place. Honestly, in my opinion this is a form of systematic discrimination against trans men, having men's rooms like that. Sure people aren't even thinking about trans men when they design those bathrooms, but that's the whole point, you need to start thinking about us, start including us. You can't brush us to the side. Not to mention, I know there are cis guys who would appreciate pooping in peace.

[@arincamryn]

I’ve definitely been there.

[@Isak-H]

Well, I don’t think anything bad would happen if someone saw you on the loo. I don’t think they will look at your genitals.

[@emmetlorerey1545]

I would never use a bathroom like that. I'd rather just go into the girls bathroom

[@Tammyvetter1991]

Im sraced to use the mens room or womens room it would be nice to use the mens room

[@MarchDayne17]

One word: sue

[@herrickinman9303]

It must be awkward for a woman disguised as a man to use a restroom designed for men.

[@bosshawg78]

Write a letter to that bar/venue asking them to update their restroom. Write several. Start a letter writing campaign. Seriously!

[@cortneycline3619]

Or just get over it and stop forcing small businesses to accommodate the 1%. This is a problem men have dealt with for years and you don't hear them complaining. Get in and get out. If you're that disturbed by the condition of a man's restrooms then maybe you should take your business elsewhere, rather then imposing your minor problem on business owner's wallets. Also this is why we have gender seperate bathrooms because women and mens needs are DIFFERENT.