Set 4, Game 14 [03.08.21] - No More Jockeys with Alex Horne, Tim Key + Mark Watson

No More Jockeys is a game created by Alex Horne, Tim Key and Mark Watson.
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✔ HOW TO PLAY
On each turn, players name a person plus a relevant category - that person and category are then forbidden. If you're caught naming someone who falls under any previous category, you're out of the game.
★ MERCHANDISE
teespring.com/stores/nomorejo...
★ PLAYERS
• Alex Horne's Taskmaster: channel4.com/programmes/taskm...
• Tim Key's latest book He Used Thought as a Wife: utterandpress.co.uk (also on Amazon)
• Mark Watson's latest novel Contacts: uk.bookshop.org/books/contact... (also on Amazon)
♫ MUSIC
Caprice sur des airs danois et russes, Op. 79 (Saint-Saëns)
► VIDEO
Alex Horne + Haiminh Le
#AlexHorne #TimKey #MarkWatson

[@michaelawoolnough9768]

Alex's transformation over the last year from sensible timekeeper to rambling Uncle Sam perfectly sums up the mindset of lockdown Britain

[@franksimon8375]

Weirdly profound. Britons are actually demanding rights, too.

[@danvinesexgod]

I liked the muted bit. Closest we'll ever get to seeing the original games from the silent era when Keaton, Chaplin and Laurel used to play to keep themselves entertained during the spanish flu. Oh if only Chaplin hadnt had terrible broadband and had remembered to record the games. Keaton to start.

[@valerieholt4057]

Don't mind Keaton to start.

[@nonindividual]

The music is great too.

[@OmegaNovaB]

That was incredible really liked it and the Keaton to start was a fabulous finesse

[@aRTy1996]

Big if

[@gretacwink8659]

Mark Watson is Laurel, right

[@12pigeons-in-a-trench-coat]

Gun to my head, the Lou sanders half brothers on the phone incident was brilliant.

[@tr1ckster]

I guess this was the legal issues they were trying to sort out last week (i.e. get Lou's permission to include it).

[@njujuznem6554]

@@tr1ckster I think that might have been the music video at the start

[@oceaux2392]

Piggybacking, Deliveroo mind games, a half-sibling twist, and the age old Tweet/Retweet debate. This was just a classic Downtown game, and with a gun to my head I didn’t mind it. We go the The Bridge and this set is turning into one for the ages.

[@RenewedRS]

didn't mind it actually

[@franksimon8375]

Thumbs up if a retweet is clearly a retweet of someone else's tweet? If the BTL have a moment

[@howardgrater7660]

“What street are you on?” “I’m currently downtown. Could you give me the directions I need to take it to the bridge?”

[@Jambobist]

Might be awkward to organise, but would be nice if Horne were to get a chinese delivered to all of us watching this too.

[@nathanmclean3086]

I wouldn't be opposed to be honest

[@voiladelaboulette8937]

Do we all have to leave our front door open though?

[@robsonneves6189]

Big if. If he could get me some chinese food delivered here in Brazil, that's what would make him a solid gold legend

[@neilmeadowcroft7569]

Mine has just arrived, to be fair I am quite a distance away.

[@Cate_78]

I would argue that it's more fiddly to organize than awkward. ;-)

[@taskboi5965]

Key’s visible displeasure at being delivered food that he knew he’d begrudgingly eat was perfection. One of the best episodes yet. I don’t know how you keep doing it, but I don’t mind it x

[@franksimon8375]

Drugs

[@pazza1376]

My heart was in my category at the mention of two older brothers

[@pkpckls]

Absolutely don't mind Two More Horses

[@miket6105]

"What if we all died?" "Big if"

[@bioLarzen]

15:17: "Horne has gone mad" ... says Mark two games after Horne spent the whole episode in a tub full of water, wearing full smart suit and drinking shampoo... ;)

[@phil7031]

No more Christmassy names - Rudolph Hess. Brilliant, deserved more!

[@MarkPentler]

I snorted out loud, jesus christ that was a surprise

[@WickedWickedJaymezIsMassive]

At around the 6 min mark: just watching 3 close friends socially distanced, having a blast at something silly, brought a tear to my eye. It's been a weird ol' few years, and I'm grateful for these three sticking it out above the line, and keeping us company throughout all of this. From the bottom of my heart, thank you to the three of you bringing a laugh in these odd times. Will see you all downtown sometime.

[@franksimon8375]

Yeah, people with owert usually just give it back once they seize it, have you read any human history? Your daddy boris isn't going to let you have freedom unless you hurt some people, and they don't live.

[@franksimon8375]

*power

[@franksimon8375]

Think of Horne's outfit as a clue. British men had to murder British govt officials to create America. It wasn't pretty, guys got shot in the face w like a .50 cal musket ball while they ate dinner with their wives. That's how you have to deal with tyrants though, their fault suit asking for it.

[@MadcapShambleton]

@@franksimon8375 What the hell are you on about? Or just what are you on?

[@ursulageorgeson7086]

They're such sweet friends. It really does warm your heart. Reminiscent of Rabbit, Pooh and Piglet. In that order.

[@danfromdarlo]

Fair play, Key CAN do the work

[@praalgraf]

alex philosophically thinking about living in one's head rent free lives in my head rent free

[@speight88]

If this is downtown, I never want to be anywhere else.

[@daupomatic]

I'd say there was sport, there was comedy, there was subtlety, but the heart of this game was Watto slashing out at complacent play with a series of deadly and treacherous categories. No more Moses bs, no time for a Pitstop, every play he narrowed the field, driving the other lads into new territory. I think he wants this Win.

[@arcadiousgames]

If you re-heat something, did you heat it? (yesssssss)

[@ob2395]

Big if

[@mister_scott]

Well, that’s done it: Uncle Sam now speaks in a British accent. As an American, my category is agape in astonishment. Hang on, someone at the door…

[@TheAlextwinem]

Every week this show becomes more like a fever dream in the absolute best possible way

[@danstone6871]

Now that Horne has gone mad, it’s freed up the game a bit.

[@kermitthepog7063]

That Alex Horne's alright, actually.

[@taskboi5965]

Key dropping Tinsel and Gretel in there at 20:18 I lost it

[@HarrisonsFord]

As a fan from America, I felt right at home this episode.

[@ZaphodTHEBeeblebrox]

Hornes idea of friendship is apparently inconveniencing your friends with good food. i like it!

[@noone-re3zp]

6:28 this part making me emotional is just... insane

[@davidrysdam902]

Kids bothering mom while she's on the phone. Alex definitely reads as the "fun parent" of the other two.

[@lais6299]

"you will always be surrounded by true friends"

[@spanglegranny]

I'd love to see Horne's wardrobe.

[@garethjenkins2729]

If you stop and think about it, once you've been downtown and taken it to the bridge... this could go down to the wire.

[@ob2395]

Big if.

[@mattrwoods]

This episode is no doubt one of the greatest hits.

[@franksimon8375]

Such a class move to order the lads dinner

[@funpackedshow]

Thanks all. Looking forward to the next edition of Two More Horses!

[@Lastielion]

These really are the top most No More Jockeys players in the country bringing out some expert categories for the downtown game

[@jenniferkovar8816]

Horne has gone up in my estimation. Key did the work. Mark is a Fly Killer, what an indictment.

[@ob2395]

The gift that keeps on giving. The best thing on the Internet and the best set ever. I. Don’t. Mind. It. Mate.

[@Jimrod92]

The muted bit was like a montage in a film where the last living player of No More Jockeys is reminiscing about times gone by.

[@iamastles]

But why did I laugh so much at the "What street are you on?" segment?

[@tr1ckster]

NMJ on mute with Saint-Saëns over the top is the new ASMR

[@MaHumorless]

How nice of Alex to send food

[@nonindividual]

Great choice of music, Haiminh. Love it, especially at the moment when Horne is muted.

[@allisoup]

I love that Watto’s bringing sexy back by taking it to the bridge! 🤣👏

[@hanthedudette]

Surprising to see Watto's KZbin recommendations full of Fortnite content. You'd expect it to distract him from NMJ, but if today's performance is anything to go by, it's clearly helping him hone his attacking skills. I don't mind it.

[@bananenbarrikade]

I’d just like to say thank you for bringing genuine, heartfelt smiles every week. Of course, NMJ is incredibly clever, funny, chaotic, creative… but seeing you have fun together and really enjoying the others‘ company - that stuff can brighten my mood a lot even on really hard days!

[@MudnuK]

The supporting cast of NMJ expands. I've heard what he had to say and I don't mind it

[@britishhedgehog]

This set is such high octane stuff. Landmark game

[@epsilonaut]

Love the Two More Horses nod in the closing titles.

[@laurapolly5419]

They’re all just so lovely. Great game. Thanks guys ⭐️❤️

[@sierrahunterlewis7677]

I truly love spending time with you guys ❤️ I even REPLAY y'all's show to keep me company when I'm by myself ❣️ So THANK YOU 💓

[@TheLemonpeal]

I like Tim Key, Mark Watson, and Alex Horne.

[@wu-tanggenerator9711]

Can't wait to see what the Deliveroo guys bring next week

[@TheJJKG]

When I think about it, this is the best NMJ yet. Over and out.

[@charliemethven]

How on earth did that phonecall not include the phrase "your friend and mine, Lou Sanders"?

[@chriskaprys]

6:27 tearing up here, lads. Why does that feel like something they’d play after the credits of the movie of your lives?

[@nicholasmerange1623]

I felt the same. It was such a warm, poignant moment with the music underneath as well.

[@anderslniemi]

As an incredibly pissed classics major, this is like the iliad to me

[@alexgreen2747]

Pure, delicious, top quality NMJ.

[@aramintypotter]

I can't believe I'd never heard this amazing piece of music before. I listen to it so frequently now. I have a whole NMJ playlist. Thank you, Haiminh! If you share music suggestions anywhere, I'd love to see it!

[@BudBonkerson]

This is a nice episode to get in your category, as the phrase goes

[@andobise]

It's getting better all the time.

[@johnjames2397]

Great episode! Off to the bridge we go!

[@ArtMorte]

I've been successfully distracted from a moment of intimacy by an offering of food, so I kinda respect Horne for his tactics.

[@urbanbushing]

The in game dinner delivery gambit was a bold move by horne.

[@luckyystrikerr]

As a Watto fan, delighted to see him take it to the bridge. Well done, lads, and we'll see what the next game has in store.

[@ob2395]

Prediction: Key and Watson piggyback on the Deliveroo idea next week. And it’s mental.

[@jadebass9685]

Yes they’re back!! 👏👏👏 my life can resume

[@jesseklein7436]

As someone who lives in LOS ANGELES CALIFORNIA USA. This episode made me feel right at home.

[@zounds4885]

bop bop unicorn mugs below the line

[@trishking6343]

Lovely stuff gents. Great game.

[@TattyBojangles81]

As a representative of below the line, we're all going downtown, and we don't mind it really

[@TheNicksfavs]

Best episode yet this one. Worth the delay

[@norsemark]

I'd like to introduce, your friend and mine, the NMJ episode of a length exceeding 30 minutes. And I don't mind it.

[@NoMoreJockeys]

Roughly a third of eps so far are 30+

[@ym10up]

Awww, Alex is so sweet

[@albertobellido95]

Love the freeze-frame moment at 30:22...

[@spottydog7143]

It makes me so happy that the three of them know the phrase 'rent free' even if it annous Horne XD

[@theledge3748]

Key's finger thing was kinda hypnotic

[@bigjoebloomfield]

In Japan, the tradition is to eat KFC on Christmas day. Lou 'Colonel' Sanders could have sealed it.

[@Apberg1]

I will never complain about going to the bridge, I absolutely love going to the bridge in fact, but a retweet is not a tweet. Horne might have gone a bit soft since the Hulk Hogan incident.

[@benejeneb]

What a game. Just excellent from every angle. I tell you what, when you think about it, I've heard what they had to say, I didn't mind it

[@MatONeill]

Most exciting episode since Bulk overheard Superted's secret magic word and beriefly became Superbulk.

[@mikeo5003]

Just discovered these last week. Binged the lot. Now I'm having dreams about arguing whether a bird is an animal with Tim Key while I'm sat in a bath. I really don't mind it actually.

[@savagehenry8286]

Red and white, blue suede shoes, I'm Uncle Sam, how do you do? Gimme five, I'm still alive, ain't no luck, I learned to duck.

[@kellyg358]

Interesting deconstruction of the phrase "living rent-free" by Horne. The man really does have the kind of thoughts that most people only have while stoned.

[@bluejadeblue]

WOOOO NEW NO MORE JOCKEYSSSSS LETS GOOOOO

[@timrugg7058]

Superb. Please never stop. How about a live one soon?

[@SeanS102]

That Alex Horne is alright, actually

[@SlowMotionAtomicBomb]

When you think about it, I've heard what you've had to say, and I really like how Horne's cushions vaguely resemble Blanka from Street Fighter II.

[@Parksey01]

I’ve watched it, and I take it all back, that Alex Horne is alright actually.

[@fiddledwhileromeburned9197]

Fortune was worth the price of admission.

[@RenewedRS]

21:50 That is the worst lure in the game's history lol there actually was an Ian in the squad. Ian Walker was our third goalkeeper.

[@attrill20]

Not the case, let me introduce you to your friend and mine: Chris Woods

[@lowfuel6089]

What was the frame at the end with two empty spots? I mean I assume one is for Dinky Donk.

[@NoMoreJockeys]

Zoom's "immersive mode"

[@wally1571]

Looking forward to our school trip to the bridge next week. Let me know if you need a space on Watto’s bus x

[@beckyfox2477]

…and so off to the bridge!! 😂😂

[@unclejibjab]

A welcome return of your friend and mine "are you...... struggling?"

[@Eggfreg]

I remembered the “Challenging”. “Yes, it is challenging.” joke during this episode. That one was of my favourites. Deserves a rerun.

[@MrMcBaine1]

As someone who didn't think Horne was wrong on the Hulk Hogan front in the first place, it is nice to see that Alex Horne's all right actually, he couldn't have gone up any further in my estimation.

[@brownproductions8391]

Ooh that is interesting. May I ask what your defense for Horne's behaviour is?

[@MrMcBaine1]

@@brownproductions8391 Of course. Since the "dressed all in black" category was specified explicitly to contain no speck of any other color (a white shirt under a black suit was not considered dressed all black for example), in my opinion, a silver belt buckle (and there was another little thing not black) would not qualify as "dressed in all black". Therefore, I thought it was right of Horne to at least argue his case and stand his ground. Especially because Key got away with some shaky stuff through arguing in the past ;) If they hadn't specified that no other color than black is allowed, then yes, all right, you shouldn't be too strict because of a belt buckle. But since it was explicitly stated with an example what is meant by "dressed all in black", in my opinion not walking when there was silver in it was all right.

[@julianlineham]

An absolute classic downtown takes us to the bridge. Come on Mr Watson…tee us up nicely at 5-5-5

[@bearhustler]

The Bridge is in sight !

[@MsKatyDod]

I think that Key was trying to point to all of his friends BTL. :)

[@chris_field]

Hello! What street are you on?

[@CorinneDemyanovich]

I think I may need a map so I don't get lost between Downtown and the Bridge.

[@catheriner4316]

2 minutes in, and I hope Alex wins, mainly because I can't think of a better outfit to go downtown in.