Sex Survey 2022 Results! ✨ Pregnancy and Fertility Edition! ✨

[@stagetopage]

I had an unintended pregnancy, and then was one of the 7% who suffered a miscarriage. It was over 7 years ago now, but I still struggle with it almost every day - even though I don't want children. People don't seem to understand that although I don't want children, it doesn't mean I wanted to lose the one I had, and loved. Grief is strange. Thank you for shedding some light on these taboo topics x

[@gracelouise9547]

Your feelings are valid 🤍

[@stagetopage]

@@gracelouise9547 you're one of the first people to ever say that to me - thank you 💙

[@salamanda11]

I’m sorry those around you didn’t understand your pain. You certainly still experienced a loss. Sending love. 🧡

[@libertygalloway5334]

You are not alone! It’s actually about 20% of pregnancies that end in miscarriage unfortunately. So many people understand your pain and support you! Your feelings are so valid

[@lifewithkirsten7670]

I had a miscarriage in August and November 2020. We weren't trying to get pregnant it just happened. I have multiple chronic illnesses and a genetic connective tissue disorder called ehlers danlos syndrome. Carrying full term with eds is not common so we think that's the major factor for both miscarriages. Another thing we think contributed is I have gastroparesis, paralysis of the stomach, and it's pretty severe and I've been malnourished for years to a severe point. I need a feeding tube but even tho I'm severely malnourished and am in starvation ketoacidosis, my drs won't place once until my bmi is 16. But with eds my body relies and fails on muscle to hold my joints in place so I have a very high muscle mass making my bmi 18. So eds and gastroparesis and malnutrition we think is what caused both miscarriages. I blame myself. I feel if I just tried harder, ate more after I threw up from my stomach not working, it wouldn't have happened.. even tho I know that's not how gastroparesis works. I just feel like its my fault...

[@Buggaton]

Just got out of a 5 year relationship. Booked my STI check. Never had one before which is embarrassing but glad to be a subscriber because you've pushed me to do so. As well as be more open minded about everything. And bi.

[@meteorrejector]

good on you for booking it!!! thats awesome

[@gabssza8569]

I love the ending

[@thesleepingbeauty12]

I'm one of the people who said they consume porn but don't pay for it. It's because the only porn I consume is written erotica, exclusively fanfiction. And fanfiction is generally only legal when non-commercial. Paying for fanfiction can get the author in legal trouble, at least in the US where I live and where the fanfiction site I use is based. I do actually listen when you say we should pay for porn. :)

[@hannahwitton]

Yesss that’s so true and fanfiction is filled with SMUT!!

[@IonIsFalling7217]

Me too!

[@nvmindem]

Most of the "porn" I consume is smutty fanfiction too. I guess it depends on the fandom and on how you interact with creators, but I've seen many fanfic writers have their ko-fi linked on their social media or in their carrd, so you can "tip" them if you like their work. Some writers are even open to commissions, so you can pay them to write a specific fic/scene for you. They can't mention directly on ao3 that they make money from it but they're open about it on other sns and it's a great way to support them if you want to.

[@samanthabartlett4562]

In the same boat!

[@KatzePiano]

+

[@cathrynwha]

Not done with the video but I absolutely agree with the concept that there’s more queer people than we think! As a neurodivergent person I often hear that “if you’re neurodivergent you’re more likely to be lgbtq+” but I honestly think it’s just that if you’re neurodivergent you’re pushed to be more introspective and there’s a lot more attention and analysis towards your life. So I think the actual queer population ratio is closer to the queer ratio in the neurodivergent community. Not an idea that’s backed up by science yet but I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s true

[@helenm1085]

I was wondering if Hannah had a high number of neurodivergent viewers when the queer question came up - we're often interested in stats and having a lot of information about specific topics. I feel like I'm interested in all the things she talks about because they give me insight into other people's behaviour as well as helping me navigate my own life and relationships.

[@MaiaWatkins]

I remember the Vlogbrothers doing an annual census in a Google form or whatever, and I think you should do the same! It'll give you more ways to play with your data, and you can format the questions how you want!

[@notlikewater]

+++

[@emmynoether9540]

++++

[@johnlondonbimeetup7961]

Its also more effort and takes people away from their social media platform so might not get as many people willing to click on it if its more serious, whereas many many people on Instagram are used to interacting with polls and quizzes and don't get scared off a more serious survey style thing, I would imagine (just feels, no data on this). Could be shared more widely though, more easily, so people not on IG can join in.

[@Nela4]

+++

[@alexbistagne1713]

It will also permit people without Instagrams to participate.

[@paigieodo]

I didn't participate in the survey, but when you started reading out the ways people describe their gender, I immediately thought that I would describe mine as "lesbian." So when you read someone else's answer saying the exact same thing, it was kind of cool! I can say, as someone who is a lesbian and is friends with a few other lesbians, it's pretty common for us to describe our genders that way. I'm not NOT a woman, but I think my lesbianism influences my gender relationship in unique ways. How do we define "woman" outside of a context of relationship to men, and then even further, outside of a context of femininity or motherhood, two things many lesbians don't connect to. Obviously, there are many ways people personally define womanhood that has nothing to do with these things! But it's something that muddles your gender relationship, especially your social interactions with gender. "Lesbian" has always felt like the answer to both my gender and my sexuality, because it connotes a relationship with gender that's congruent with or adjacent to womanhood, but also communicates something about the social and interpersonal positions I occupy. Gender and sexuality aren't always two entirely separate things -- that's why we're all a part of one community. I always make the joke that I'm a woman to people who don't get it, and a lesbian to people who do.

[@emrysmordin4682]

This! Same! :D

[@paigieodo]

@@emrysmordin4682 :D!

[@zoeatrics]

Totally agree! I also struggle to separate "womanhood" from roles such as wife (to a man) and mother (in the icky bio-essentialist way). Queer women have always been at the forefront of redefining our gender without reference to men, and I think the term lesbian often captures that really well.

[@paigieodo]

@@zoeatrics yeah! i agree!

[@kniddelliz7512]

Sounds like you would enjoy Monique Wittig :)

[@annabroomfield4689]

LOVE the moment where you look into the camera and say "thank you so much" in response to everyone sharing their gender identities. Such a precious and genuine little moment

[@francesbale1409]

This is awesome! It would be really cool to include disability in the future if there is a space (there should be a space!) Disabled people and sex is not discussed enough x

[@esther5636]

Could be a theme for next year :)!

[@Tegdirb64]

Totally agree with this. My disabilities and the medications I take have completely destroyed my libido and sex life. Even though I'm in my late 50s, I would have expected to still be sexually active... ☹

[@lifewithkirsten7670]

@@Tegdirb64 I'm 20. I have ehlers danlos syndrome. My connective tissue is faulty so my tendons and ligaments don't hold my joints in place. I have daily major dislocations such as ribs hips knees shoulders neck. Which has resulted in severe debilitating pain. I've been on oxycodone since I was 17. And sometimes it doesn't make my pain bearable to the point I'm not in tears. And oxycodone really messes with sex drive. Both of those combined along with my other chronic illnesses sometimes I can't have sex for a couple weeks to a couple months. And I just got married in April 2021. When issues like that happen I feel like a bad wife...

[@kso4104]

loved hearing these results! you can move my answer from the TTC to pregnant category :) excited for your 2022 videos!

[@alyssia7239]

YAY congrats !! I hope you or your partner are doing well ! Edit : you AND your partner actually

[@hannahwitton]

aaah congrats!!

[@BeckyMD26]

Congratulations! 🥰

[@amiscellaneoushuman3516]

speaking from my experience as a bi viewer, I'd speculate that the higher number of polysexual people then homosexual people in this channel's audience could be down to relatability, as in Hannah's primary lived experience is in straight relationships which may make her content feel like it has more relevance to us than to those who are exclusively same-sex/gender attracted

[@testosteronic]

There was a survey a few years ago in the UK, that found that almost half of 18 - 24 year olds identify as 'not entirely heterosexual or homosexual', so her stats might just reflect the general sexualities of her main age groups

[@johnlondonbimeetup7961]

Hannah and Melanie's collab videos might also bring more bi people here, and being a bi-friendly space and more aware of, vs some other YTers. There are a lot more bi+ people than most people realise, we're mostly just not out in public (at least as many bi+ as there are gay or lesbian put together, and probably even more; a stackexchange survey reported 3× more bi men than gay a few years ago, presume people felt could be more honest there, assuming it wasn't gamed).

[@SamarkandChan]

In norway we've had an increase in births for the first time in over a decade during the pandemic.

[@sisumusta]

In Finland also!

[@robsmithracing]

In the U.K. we just had fun trying

[@hannahburt6794]

I’m one of the people that said my interest in having kids has decreased in the pandemic. I think for me there’s a couple of reasons - I feel the pandemic has obviously meant I haven’t been able to tick a few experiences off my “before having kids” list and that’s frustrating. The other is that I live in a semi detached house next to neighbours with 2 year olds and they scream the house down whilst I’m wfh all day. I obviously only hear the tantrums and not the nice things that happen but listening to it most days has made me question whether I’m ready to have that same noise in my own house.

[@NotPMHarper]

I wonder if the drop in STI testing is partially because of limited medical resources during the pandemic. I know for me that I was required to go in-person to a clinic to get my blood tested in addition to the at-home swab tests for my STI testing. Now, most of the clinics in my area that do blood testing are either booked out until March or have limited hours due to staffing issues (nurses have gone to work at hospitals, staff have gotten sick with covid, etc.).

[@testosteronic]

Yeah, and I think people are afraid to take up medical professionals time with non-emergency things in general. And people have had less contact with other people, so people who otherwise would've been getting tested might not have had a reason to

[@johnlondonbimeetup7961]

Wondered this too, just wrote it in another comment but you got here 1st. Good to hear actual experience.

[@lexthequeer]

This is absolutely the case for me. I would’ve had full bloods done by now if I could actually access my sexual health clinic, but it’s an hour away and I don’t drive so I haven’t been able to take the risk of using public transport in the middle of a pandemic!

[@evag-s5177]

For future: I had trouble answering the sexual/romantic orientation questions because as a nonbinary person primarily attracted to women, there aren't any words that I feel fit and are easily understandable other than queer. I would appreciate having a "queer" or "other" option in the future (though I know unfortunately instagram polls only offer 4 options)

[@sourwitch2340]

ah, I was wondering why no option of "otherwise monosexual" was shown but just two specific examples, while pan, bi etc were covered under the poly umbrella

[@emiliano.1267]

6:07 - interesting! kind of! i was one of the “male” answers and i answered “yes” to the trans question. maybe in the future you could ask a follow up binary/nonbinary question? for instance: are you transgender? no - i am cisgender no - i am nonbinary (to give an option for those who ID as nonbinary but not trans) yes - i am a binary trans (man/woman) yes - i am nonbinary trans (for those who ID as nonbinary as well as trans) that’s if you’re interested in that further breakdown!

[@simonferocious868]

Yes! I agree with this phrasing of the question because I'm trans but I'm male. I'm a binary trans guy so in how I live (society's perception and it's influence on me) I don't entirely "feel trans" if that makes sense. I am trans, of course, but I'm not "openly trans" so my lived experience is more similar to a cis man than a non binary person because I have the privilege of passing and don't have to deal with the constant conversations about how my pronouns are valid and grammatically correct (for example) I feel like as the years go on Hannah's survey is going to branch off into so many parts and sections Instagram will no longer be able to fill the needs lmao

[@CharBendall]

Sex life after children: lots of other things to focus on, tired, damage in childbirth, body changes, learning about the new roles you have etc. This is ok and a normal part of parenthood. Other things take the front seat for a while!

[@taweja]

For future surveys I would suggest you put the romantic orientation question before the sexual orientation one, because so often people mean both when they ask about sexuality so the participants not knowing you actually just mean sexual may skew your answers.

[@chelsey8737]

"Woman with hints of nonbinary" sounds like " water with hints of lime" and I'm 100% here for it

[@greenleafe1238]

Or "woman but slightly more special than you"

[@simonferocious868]

The la croix of gender

[@sourwitch2340]

@@greenleafe1238 every woman is already slightly more special than you, the non-binary element doesn't change that. not beyond adding a subtle orange flavour, anyways.

[@greenleafe1238]

@@sourwitch2340 cringe

[@sourwitch2340]

@@greenleafe1238 is that an imperative? consider it done

[@riareanne]

I finally participated this year! I’m definitely in the camp of not being sure if I want kids but being VERY sure I don’t want to be pregnant. Luckily I have multiple years before that becomes a more urgent question, my partner and I want to finish graduate school first

[@ptolemystoned]

Part of why the abortion and unintentional pregnancy question is so skewed is that people might have answered who have never been pregnant, and thus have never unintentionally been pregnant or had a abortion or miscarriage etc. It would be interesting to see the results if it were phrased "if you've been pregnant, have you had an unintentional pregnancy"

[@hannahwitton]

yes I thought about this after filming and is probably the case!

[@bashfulnath]

yes, this is how i read the question

[@lolsaXx]

Finland had a baby boom last year. Birth rates increased by more than 7%. Its an anomaly because most wealthy countries birth rates have plummeted during the pandemic. I live in Finland now and had baby #3 5 months ago.

[@sarahdugdale2764]

Fascinating stuff! Fun fact, I answered 'no' to the unintended pregnancy as I always intended to have another pregnancy, but technically we weren't ~ trying to conceive ~ when we made my second son 🤣 couldn't imagine life being any different now though! That philosophy of 'this is a change and it'll change again' will serve you VERY well as a parent of babies and young children. As soon as you get used to something it changes, and you mourn a phase of their littledom passing but then something new arrives and it's so exciting!

[@aShadeBolder]

asexuals at nearly 3%! yes. aces represent! (my best guess for "grey bi" is "experiences sexual attraction rarely enough to feel aspec [like grey asexual], but when it happens it's to more than 1 gender") 92% of people talk to their sexual partners about sex? what do the 8% use? smoke signals? a lot of these questions would be interesting to see the interactions between them, but I get why instagram doesn't allow for that. this was fun. maybe I should get instagram so I can play too.

[@rosieblyther444]

This one was so fun! The question about sex after kids made me think of this Tig Notoro joke about after her and her wife had kids and they were trying to figure out when to have sex. I'm one of the few that sex got better after kids and I really think a big part of that is that our communication as a couple has improved since having a kids because that will make or break you when kids enter the picture and the communication spilled into sex talk as well and we now know more about each other than ever. Sending good pregnancy energy your way!!

[@Youcantstopthebeat62]

I work in social research and LOVE these annual surveys you do. Something to consider when looking at how many people pay for porn is whether it's actually legal to buy it in their country. Technically in Australia it is illegal for individuals to buy porn, although sex shops sell DVDs so people still do buy it, but others may choose not to for this reason (especially if it's an online purchase that could be tracked to your credit card).

[@Tooscared2blink]

It's so nice to see so many people clicked the asexual box in your survey! Plus, seeing the high percentage of queer people, in general, made me really happy. It helps to feel less alone when your only queer friend lives 400 miles away!

[@wagtail186]

Yesssss! I’ve been anticipating this! 🎉🙌I’m aromantic and asexual but I love learning about people’s experiences. It’s sort of like learning about unicorns in a way? I will never experience it but it’s fun to read about😂🦄

[@kedisheher3716]

This! This! I'm ace and sex-repulsed (repulsion mostly a visual thing, I don't mind reading or hearing people talk abot sex-related things) and I'm really curious about other people's experience precisely because it's so far from my own experience and yet our society has such a focus on sex and romance (it must be even weirder for aro folks) and it just seems so weird to me that it's really fascinating, I don't know.

[@wagtail186]

@@kedisheher3716 Haha hey I’m glad someone feels the same way!😂🙌 I’ve had this description of it in my head for a long time but wasn’t sure if it made sense. Anyway, I 100% get what you mean with the interest. Being aroace means I don’t get any of it but I just want to understand and learn about it? Plus, in her videos like about consent or compulsive monogamy you can still learn a-lot about the friendships in your life and how to he more respectful towards those.

[@kedisheher3716]

Yeah, it's always nice to know I'm not the only one.😊 I just want to UNDERSTAND. Or at least get closer to understanding. Also stuff like sex-ed, how to practice safe sex, anything that's not penis-in-vagina sex that got completely ignored in my sex-ed ,... it's really interesting to me and also to know that there's people who are knowledgeable about these things. Yeah.

[@IndyMartiniVideos]

I ✨ love ✨ your planet necklace omg Edit: You have the option of with or w/o Pluto!

[@ojiverdeconfleco]

I love this survey! It's fun to know all the results. I was one of the people that answered that after pregnancy/birth my sex life changed for the worse but the NUANCE is that the sex itself is really great but that I wish I could have way more of it, it's just harder logistically.

[@nox8312]

That difference between people selecting polysexual and then selecting heteroromantic as opposed to polyromantic is really interesting to me. I think it has to do with the fact that heterosexuality is still considered the default/norm and so heterosexual relationships are still the norm and expected (I mean this in the original sense, not in the sense that divorces sexuality and romantic attraction). A lot of people who are now open to accepting they have sexual attraction to their own gender/variety of genders find it much more difficult to make the leap to actually living and being in a relationship that is not heterosexual/heteronormative. I say this as someone who was in straight relationships my whole life until I came out as non binary and became more involved with the queer community, now engaged to my to-be wife 😍 in the queerest relationship ever and I love it. But it's definitely a leap. I had to confront a lot of homophobia I didn't realise I held. I told myself over and over as a kid that my attraction to women was only sexual. This was before the whole separation of romantic and sexual attraction idea happened, which imo comes from an old homophobic lie society professes in order to hide queerness (sexual attraction is fine, flights of fancy, fantasies, experiments, but then you get real and settle down in a proper heterosexual relationship. If you have to, cheat, but make sure your daily life conforms to heterosexuality). Anyway, it's a totally different life and I think separating sexual desire and romantic attraction doesn't tell the whole story about what's actually going on for people socially. In my experience, a lot of people who describe themselves as being polysexual in some way but heteroromantic (or just in practice only really date in heterosexual contexts) aren't really involved in the queer community. Their description of a polysexuality is something more theoretical and academic than really lived. Part of this is definitely the homophobia and compulsive heterosexuality of society. I think a lot of people don't feel like they *can* be a part of queer communities without having "proof" or "cred" to back up their queerness, which alienates young people who have experienced compulsory heterosexuality, and particularly alienates people who come to their queerness later in life. Another part of this could be the way things have changed for young people, that some parts of queer communities only really existing online, so there's less overlap into people's daily lived experience and in person social dynamics, more ability to segregate different parts of yourself online and not really feel like you're hiding anything or covering it up (ability to indulge online as opposed to in the past any involvement with queerness needing to be in person). So esp if you're polysexual you can get away with indulging your queerness only in online contexts and then in person your life and social bubbles are mostly heterosexual or heteronormative. And then there's also something to be said for queerness being more okay in society when it's sexualised but not being as accepted or okay when you actually commit your life to living queer. Like it's something to indulge in and then go back to your regular scheduled programming of heterosexual relationships. And if you do "choose" it, esp if you've had hetero relationships and so it looks more like a choice, I think there's a bit of "why would you choose to make your life more difficult?" attitude. Anyway this was all over the place. Hope there's some interesting things in there to think about at least.

[@caitlinryan4896]

I found the discrepancy between people answering polysexual and polyromantic really interesting too! Totally agree with what you said about queerness being too often portrayed as solely a sexual thing. I think this lack of representation really holds people back from thinking about and exploring queerness in a romantic sense. I so want to see more actual research on this!!

[@kayleigh1997]

yes, this just what i was thinking about those answers!

[@kissszonjab]

Great video, also I appreciated the "not sure on wanting kids" question since I am basically 50/50 at the moment. I used to want kids when I was a kid since that's what's been told to me is the norm, then in high school I started becoming unsure. And yeah I definitely feel a lot of pressure that I don't think I'd feel if I knew I wanted kids, or possibly if I knew for sure I didn't cause then I'd be sure in my stance. Honestly, it's also hard to decide because when I brought it up with my mom and my sister (who has kids) they both were like ofc you do, but instead of helping it put me more on the defensive of I don't. Like instead of being able to explore if I do or not the only messages I hear are yes or when I tried to seek out videos or forum threads online the other side was those who didn't, so that didn't help either. And even when I consider I might want kids, the assumption and pressure that I do makes me not want to, just to reject that expectation. I feel if I choose wanting them, then I didn't actually choose it, but it was decided for me. That was a bit long, but I hope it helps hearing this perspective either to learn or to feel heard if someone else relates.

[@Tegdirb64]

I realised in retrospect that I married a man and had kids (was actually desperate to have them) mostly because it was what you did. Living in a military environment I didn't even know that any LGBTIAQ+ community existed. Don't get me wrong, I adore my kids and my grandkids but I wish I'd known that I had a choice. I think the effect of peer pressure should not be underestimated. I'm sorry that your family members made an assumption rather than allowing you to examine your more nuanced feelings. I hope you have someone you can share these feelings with and find out more about what you might actually want. Do you have a partner or friend who could help you with this? Good luck

[@camilleschryve9649]

I was just like you in my second trimester. I HATED the first trimester and had all of the symptoms so felt sick for basically 3 months. Then felt amazing during the second trimester and tought I loved pregnancy... until I hit 35-36 weeks lol. Being so big and heavy was so annoying, I kept saying to my husband how I can't wait to give birth and not be pregnant anymore. And then I got baby fever like 3 weeks postpartum and somehow forgot how horrible pregnancy felt. Now I want to be pregnant so badly!

[@NF30]

Hi Hannah! Just curious, would you be able to post the sex survey on other platforms in addition to Instagram next year or is it an Instagram only thing? I'm not on Instagram so I couldn't participate. I'm so glad you're enjoying pregnancy now and I have so much respect for you!

[@facedelune67]

its a good idea because the community tap allows polls now

[@KateHistoryMysteries]

@@facedelune67 or at least advertise on KZbin community/Twitter.

[@NF30]

@@KateHistoryMysteries KZbin community is what I was thinking, yeah

[@alexbistagne1713]

+++

[@Atalinay]

Yes! We poll nerds would love to participate

[@BeeWhere]

Thank you for encouraging communication about sex and helping normalize conversations. As a male with a pregnant wife and a 1 year old. Yes, sex changes, but our energy is on raising and loving our baby. We planned to have 2 kids and it happened very quickly once my wife had her implant removed. Pregnancy is very difficult on her body and I'm happy to help in every way I can because I'm in awe of what her body is capable of.. Communication is key and we have been together for over a decade and decided we were ready to have children. We pressured ourselves more than external pressure because my parents are older and I wanted my children to know their grandparents. We don't regret it.

[@ryanwinter1562]

18:15 Even if more people are interested in having kids, there's a very big difference between that want, and being able to actually afford it

[@pepsimax8078]

I have really been looking forward to this video! Statistics can be fun 😄 In Norway birth rate have actually grown in Norway during the pandemic.

[@rachelinlondon3627]

Oh my goodness Hannah, where is your amazing necklace from? Thank you :)

[@stagetopage]

it is wild to me that 3 years ago was 2020, when you said "from the first year I did this in 2022", my mind automatically thought of a few months ago hahah. I love these videos, I look forward to them every year!

[@daisy5765]

Hannah randomly reading the self-described gender identities just helped me figuring in my own crises 👀🦄

[@finchfry]

I'm glad you asked the question about people's gender identity/sexual orientation changing during the pandemic. I had a pretty big gender shift, so it was cool to see that I'm not the only one. Pre-pandemic I ID'ed as a woman, but I now ID as non-binary/agender. Being away from the public eye during the pandemic gave me time to examine how I ACTUALLY feel, instead of constantly needing to put on a performance of gender for other people. I got to experiment with my clothing, my hair, my pronouns, etc. without worrying about other people judging me.

[@everythingbylau]

I really enjoyed the survey! I did struggle with it a bit because I'd like to be a parent at some point, but feel no urge whatsoever to conceive. I'd rather be a foster parent. Of course the survey was focussed on pregnancy/fertility a lot more, so I was kind of missing these other options.

[@TheDisell]

Lol hello! I’m the one that said grey-bi. It’s grey asexual/bisexual/biromantic. It’s hard to write that whole thing in the little card. 😅 grey asexual is basically like the grey area of asexuality lol I’m mostly asexual(in a neutral way but also sometimes repulsed) BUT I do experience short infrequent periods of sexual attraction. Also FYI I’m in the 5% trying to conceive. It’s been almost 3 years of trying. I’m in the “just try to have fun and if it happens it happens” stage now. But I appreciate the good vibes. ☺️💕

[@marielkrupansky5579]

Re: Pressure to have kids. This is also complicated for people who are experiencing infertility and/or unexplained recurrent miscarriage (like myself). I really want to be a mom, and my parents and in laws really want to be grandparents, and it sometimes makes it more difficult, especially when they say things like "You'll have kids! Don't worry so much about fertility, I just know you will be pregnant."

[@ayeletarzouan6610]

My first pregnancy was physically much more painful than this one but I loved it because I had experienced infertility and I just spent the whole 9 months in awe and so thankful. This time around it just feels harder because I feel guilty about having less energy for my toddler

[@enjoyyadavlingam2666]

I love you

[@SamWest96]

My husband was in the room while I was watching this. We had a chat about quantity/quality of post kids sex. We agreed quantity has gone way down due to teething, sickness, tiredness etc. Quality however has stayed the same and is sometimes better because we make more time when we have it and it's more important when we can do something. We have a 15 month old so I know we're very much in the trenches of parenthood right now

[@TheCosmicCreativity]

Having s*x as a parent is like a constant battle against time. And the ticking time bomb is your child waking up. It really puts a whole new meaning to the phrase “Getting Lucky”.

[@Lotjeloveslaika]

Hi Hannah! I didn't participate in the survey, but just in case you didn't look it up or have it explained already: grey bi(sexual) means 2 things: the 'bisexual' part doesn't need explaining, I presume. The 'Grey' part is on the asexuality spectrum; it means that the person does experience sexual attraction, but not very strong and/or very infrequently. There also don't seem to be specific triggers for the sexual attraction, like with allosexual and demisexual people. Hope that helped!

[@ellaboffrell]

"I've decided to accept that I'm never gonna have a normal again" Hearing this felt like getting hit over the head with a 2x4. You were talking specifically about your sex life but this really hit me reflecting about pandemic life, but also my current post-school, mid-20s, generally feeling unsettled life. What a freeing sensibility, I'm absolutely going to work on incorporating that into my life. Anyway, just generally this & the nerdfighteria survey are two of my favorite videos to seek out every year because apparently I'm just a big ole nerd for internet data. Loved the pregnancy theme - it introduced lots of interesting things to consider.

[@harrietttaylor3746]

i think it is important to note that the beginning of the fertility questions was also open to people that have relationships that don't have any risk of getting pregnant. i think this is a factor that will quite heavily sway your fertility questions to the "no" answers.

[@pinky1494]

It took my sister over 10 years to get pregnant, and she finally is! 40 days to go :)

[@rebeccac4501]

The pandemic made me realise that I do want to have kids. Mostly because it showed how important family connections are (incl chosen family) and how much I value family over work

[@loriheller2500]

I must say you are glowing these days!

[@ChloeexL]

shout out to the other 1597 ace folks who responded to the survey

[@vitaobatera]

There's still a lot to explore in that... like kinks change for males and females... a lot of the kinks can have pregnancy/breastfeeding involved... polyamory can change... not all former couples are current couples (one night stands)... intention to be a single mother... body sensitivity changes... hormones changing sex drive... Bring them all to a new survey!

[@ChapmanJill]

I absolutely adore your necklace! Where is it from?

[@hannahwitton]

I got it years ago from Lucent, I have an affiliate/discount code with them now: HANNAH for 10% off wearelucent.com/

[@mfg2324]

I loved the video, as usual :) An idea for next year: posting the poll on other profiles on insta with a different audience (cooperations) and comparing the results!

[@godimlarge]

Being a mother looks soooooo good on you! Absolutely gorgeous in this video. Loving the colorful necklace against the white top look

[@athenaamethyst8385]

It took me 4 years to get pregnant with my first. 1 year for my second. It's hard to see when people are like "I got pregnant on my first month trying!" or "I wasn't even trying but yay!" I try to be excited but those 4 years of trying, including fertility treatments, was decently traumatic for me. :/ (It's getting better with therapy and time.)

[@thenopedetective]

For the time it took to get pregnant, it would be interesting to see who 1. Had kids ever after trying via PiV, 2. Who didn't have kids, 3. who did have kids after IVF/Adoption/and other. I know a few folks who tried to get pregnant for years, but didn't want to do IVF due to financial concerns or medical. So they're childfree but not necessarily under those categories, and not necessarily not in those categories (ex. Some are not, not trying, but no longer assume that PiV will help). Though you could break down every question like that and it would take too much time 😅

[@knoweverythingsokay]

Feels nice to see that everyone has such unique ways of viewing their own gender. I personally also like using she/her and my birth name (semi-feminine). But I don’t think about myself as a woman/girl. It’s hard to talk about or explain things sometimes!

[@TheBookfrog]

Thank you for the very entertaining video. I was really happy that I took part in it again. :)

[@roseblack3436]

I really hope you'll do these in the future too. Love them 💛 Also it just gets more interesting as you compare them to the previous surveys.

[@bethanygreenwood8259]

I so love getting to watch you nerd out about data! 😍 Always enjoy taking part in the survey 💛

[@naomilodder6342]

This has been very interesting! I’m also curious about the influence of having kids on people’s relationships as a whole (not just their sex lives). As someone who is undecided about having kids it is something I think about a lot. I notice my partner and I are not ourselves when we are tired and stressed. And I kind of worry that having young kids is just endless tiredness and stress! But maybe I’m just too pessimistic about it.

[@lanafilms9789]

the first year is called 'make or break' because of how many parents split up in that first year, it's scary stuff indeed! It's a huge change to a relationship and the tiredness and stress is extreme. Personally, me and my partner struggled for the first 6 months until it got better. Although saying all this, after coming out the other side it's the most beautiful thing in the world to see your partner love and care for your kids. Pros and cons! There's no right or wrong, do what's right for you :)

[@naomilodder6342]

@@lanafilms9789 Thank you for your honest response! I also feel like there is no right or wrong and the capacity to have a happy life is already inside me, whether I have kids or not. But the doubt is so reallll haha. Well I still have some time to make up my mind.

[@edie555]

this is completely off topic but - the planet necklace + the hair is giving me MASSIVE miss frizzle from the magic school bus vibes!! i love it

[@harmonicaveronica]

I think the "do you have kids" question could be expanded on, because it's not a simple yes/no question for everyone! Some people no longer have kids - due to death/pregnancy loss, voluntary adoption, involuntary removal into foster care, fostering until reunification or permanent placement, etc.

[@tessjune88]

Love that you do these! I’ve participated the last two (and maybe the first but don’t remember!) I always get so excited 😆

[@boland73]

Omg I remember seeing this on Instagram this year so I could participate!! It’ll be so interesting seeing the results from everyone. I think I love data & statistics ALMOST as much as you 😂😂

[@lexthequeer]

Re: drop in STI check results, I haven’t been able to get to my clinic at all since 2019 because of the pandemic. I’ve just not been able to have a sexual health checkup because it’s been inaccessible. I’d guess that a fair amount of other respondents also had this issue! Re: the sexual/romantic orientation questions, a much better term to use as a broad category for multi-gender attracted people is “m-spec” or “multisexual spectrum”, which describes anyone on the spectrum of multi-gender attraction! Polysexual/polyromantic is it’s own orientation, rather than an umbrella term (though all orientation identifiers do function as an umbrella on the micro level because each person’s experience and identity differs from the next) 😊

[@mzhoneybunchesofoats]

Woh that necklace is awesome

[@sallys.2707]

I've never understood the argument of "you should be happy to be pregnant because other people can't be pregnant. Be grateful". First : being grateful and being HAPPY isn't the same thing. Second : me being happy will not change those people situation. Third : maybe I am pregnant because I couldn't afford an abortion and In this case I have the right to be sad, angry AND ungrateful.

[@asterismos5451]

The gender and sexuality questions should have options for questioning! (Also I'm not sure how instagram polls work so it could already be set up this way, but the sexuality and romantic orientation questions should either allow selection of multiple options because someone can be homoromantic and on the aromantic spectrum for example, or have one question for gendered attraction and another question for are you on the asexual spectrum, are you on the aromantic spectrum.) Grey lesbian btw means greyromantic/greysexual lesbian.

[@isabbygabbyorcrabby]

Hello I am one of the currently pregnant followers (24 weeks!). I like being pregnant NOW... But I didn't feel that way until I was about 18 weeks 😂 Let's see what the third trimester brings (this is my first too)

[@lanafilms9789]

Love this video! I've been a subscriber for so long I can't even remember now😅 I had my first pregnancy in 2019, we weren't trying but weren't preventing. My second I got pregnant within the first month of 'trying' (I'd literally downloaded an app to start tracking my period, a period which didn't arrive until 9 months later😂) I always feel kinda shitty about saying that because of how some people have a lot of trouble getting pregnant, one of my best friends went through a few miscarriages and a few rounds of IVF to conceive her daughter and I feel so lucky that I've had 2 successful pregnancies and haven't experienced anything like that. With my first I could have easily have gone the first 2 trimesters without knowing I was pregnant if it wasn't for the lack of period, come 3rd trimester I wanted him out😂With my second I hated being pregnant from the off, morning sickness and lethargic, pregnancy just wasn't for me. Both times I had anterior placentas so I could barely feel/see movements which suuuuucked. Anyway now I have a 2 year old and a 5 month old and they are the light of my life! I've always wanted to be a mum, I never realised how hard it would be, some days I just sit and cry but at the same time it's so rewarding seeing what a wonderful human my little boy is turning into with his own personality! I can't wait to see that with my little girl too! Something I'll be interested in as you navigate your way through parenthood is childcare. It's a subject that the mere though of drives me insane! I worked a shitty bar job when I got pregnant, when I went back I arranged to work evening shifts so we didn't have to pay for childcare (at the lowest £1000 a month for mon-fri -just for 1!) and now that's the job I'm stuck in until September 2024 when we qualify for the 30 free hours for both kids (I know it was our choice to have a second but I've always wanted a 2 year age gap between kids and I'd prioritise that over the career I desperately want) if either me or my partner quit our jobs we'd get 15 free hours but we can't afford to be on benefits and also wouldn't need the childcare if we didn't work (I will never understand that!) Anyway sorry for the longest comment known to man 😂 I'm so excited to watch your journey!!

[@gazthegreat132]

Hannah. Could you do the fertility treatment from a male point of view?

[@AndaraBledin]

I totally *did* discover something new about myself during the pandemic. I came to the realization that I'm bi. The weird thing is that I'd been in multiple bi engagements over the years, and yet, since I have a significant preference for male-presenting partners, I've self-identified as straight, which I've concluded is mostly a case of inertia than anything else. I still have issues of imposter syndrome since I'm straight-passing in a long-term hetero relationship, but I'm getting more comfortable that it's the more accurate self-identification.

[@JeSSiMKah]

Other ways of having kids could've been surrogacy or fostering maybe? "Woman with a hint of non binary" was my favourite response that I unexpectedly related to so thanks to whoever said that one I think I've realised something today ❤

[@eringostick7701]

Love the video! Her hair in this one is so beautiful 😍

[@emisomething]

We did IUI and adoption -- I answered IUI here, I think. But having more than one option would have been helpful.

[@sparkyshore3543]

I feel like a lot of the questions involving pregnancy should be phrased as “have you or your partner…”

[@mariegray9397]

I was so exited about taking part in this :D

[@aprildawnsunshine4326]

Tbh I think this reflects most on what we consider acceptable now in society, especially with the rise in polysexuality. It wouldn't surprise me if we were able to repeat this in 20yrs and found polysexuality was considered the norm as it was in many preschristian societies such as the Greeks, Romans and Egyptians.

[@alexrose20]

I doubt that would happen in 20 years 😅

[@aprildawnsunshine4326]

@@alexrose20 it's only taken that long between when I was in highschool and the LGBT kids were outcasts and now when they're the most popular kids at my child's highschool. And the parents in the area are not what you'd call ally's. They're the ones trying to ban trans girls from sports and bathrooms 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@alexrose20]

@@aprildawnsunshine4326 TLDR I was in high school a couple years ago in ca. From the ppl who weren't lgbt+ I'd say it was a mix of accepting liberals, if not uneducated/neutral as well as conservative/homophobic. Gay ppl made friend groups of their own bc to an extent they were still outcasts. Especially if you appeared outwardly neurodivergent or strange in any way. Some crowds were better than others but I remember openly queer ppl getting side eyed or quietly laughed at. My bi friend got hostile comments from other guys he'd been in band with for years. There was a gender non conforming person new to the school. I met them in gym class and that's how I noticed they had scars. I wanted to become friends but never got close and idk what became of them but I hope they're ok. Anyways everyone was walking to their classes and I saw them wearing high heels, makeup, and a skirt. They looked beautiful. But 2 girls walked past me, clearly snickering at them. I turned back furious and that was the only time I genuinely wanted to fight someone. This was before I knew I was trans so now I know why I cared so much but it was not right regardless and I still get angry thinking about that. Keep in mind this is only from what I witnessed in ca and there are many places that are far more cruel. Lgbt+ ppl are more seen but certainly not the norm.

[@aprildawnsunshine4326]

@@alexrose20 well idk if you're referring to Canada or California but either way I'm solidly in the bible belt in north Florida (basically Georgia) which is historically much worse than either. And of course it's not like this everywhere in America, but the fact that it's happening here is a huge sign of things to come. Alot depends on the attitude of the school board though and ours has been sued so many times (we are the litigation capital) for homophobia etc they had to get better. Still, the schools at our last home, same school district but further out in the country, were so bad I had put them in a horrible charter school where I had to fight to keep them from cutting their hair and there's zero education for 2yrs till we could afford to move here. Was a joint middle school high school and had a reputation for teachers physically bullying students (with fists!) So yeah we're not there yet, but we're heading there at a breakneck pace and I really think by the time my 8yo has kids we'll be there. Of course that's given the questions are asked to an identical demographic, basically the 20yr younger versions of everyone. I mean look at my generation vs gen z, we didn't even have terms like non binary or gender fluid. We created them and your generation is doing the same. That same person you talked about would've been called a twink or tranny as a positive term in my school and I'm pretty sure if I called someone either of those today I'd be cancelled before the words were out of my mouth.

[@alexrose20]

@@aprildawnsunshine4326yes I'm quite impressed with in 10 years (my sister is a decade younger) children have become much more open about being lgbt+. My sister talked about her friend having a crush on a girl. When I went to elementary school that was never talked about. I'm pretty sure I barely learned that being gay was a thing when I was their age let alone gender and other sexualities. Children seem to be getting the right idea but the politics and attitudes among older ppl changing slowly and with much resistance.

[@lelaniadam]

Need to re-watch this, I get distracted by your necklace...it's out of this world!😄

[@rachelle2227]

I am pregnant and due in a month. My husband and I put off having kids for a year due to the pandemic. We wanted to get vaccinated first, at least. Unfortunately the pandemic is still raging, as I hoped waiting a year it would be over by the time I would give birth!

[@samcoy4243]

Potential other options: At-home insemination, surrogacy, fostering (not all foster parents want to adopt), if they had a kid one way and are now going another way

[@SixtineLys]

I just love the survey tradition, I'm always so excited to participate !!

[@robertmccann9631]

I think we call all agree, Instagram needs a better survey process. Thanks for the great info.

[@cynblack]

LOVE HOW HAPPY YOU ARE. YOU DESERVE IT HUN!!! CONGRATS!

[@Pooyuck]

As always, your videos are very interesting, educational and so very much fun to watch.

[@soulvacation]

“How did you/are planning on having kids” … I guess “Other” might be a) surrogate/donor, b) fertility drugs like Clomid, c) fostering? Some of these could arguably fall under the umbrella of the other options. It would be interesting to know for sure what reason someone picked “Other” for, I’m curious.

[@emilydriedger4840]

I have qualms with the “did your sex life change since having kids” question! It changed for the worse when we first started back at it and then every month it just got better and better and now it’s the same as it used to be for me (9 months postpartum). So you should add a “it changed multiple times, worse and also better” option next year 😅

[@aellalee4767]

The town I went to high school in, I think most of my classmates were unintentionally conceived. Most were fairly wanted, but happened by accident. I could see the demographics for this channel's viewers being less likely to have unwanted pregnancies since we understand how that works.

[@heyeilidhh]

Only 2 minutes in but had to drop down here and say, your hair looks incredible!

[@tunafarrell2067]

I had an STI check, but it was involuntary. I had my checkup and the doctor asked if I needed one and I said "No, I haven't had sex in years" and when I got the results back it said "STI Negative". So, not only am I not getting laid, my doctor won't believe me when I say so.

[@laurahrobinson]

I’d love it if you gave a heads-up on youtube before your next survey - I never miss a video of yours but am not big on Instagram. :)

[@jesusismyfinalanswer]

Your hair looks so pretty!

[@ST-vt4nu]

I'm curious how big the percentage would be of people adopting/wanting to adopt because of fertility issues/ same dex relationships or not. I personally have no clue about my fertility, but currently I have no interest in being pregnant, but would love to foster and or adopt because I would really like kids.

[@just4pie]

So glad you're feeling better!!

[@stephanierichardson9391]

I love the separation of sexual and romantic orientation, as someone who is polysexual but homoromantic :) Most people don't separate it so it is nice that you did!

[@Mariajustmary]

I know it should be the norm, but thank you for including the aro ace community in your surveys ❤️❤️like, actually including. It makes us feel seen.