Sexual Abuse In Narcissistic Relationships

[@dwlsn93]

If anyone has gotten free of the narcissist - and has forgotten these degrading acts , or has started “missing” the narcissist or thinking “they’ve changed” (because they’re love bombing you again only because they want something from you) REMEMBER ALL THE TIMES they made you feel worthless and small…. They will pick up where they left off the moment you let them back in. 😢

[@Nicole-fl8gv]

This was the hardest thing to overcome I was definitely sexually abused by him and violated over time coercion

[@Rueben7-q3r]

Thays exactly where I'm at , it's the worst of the whole experience 🙏❤️

[@m.e.b.255]

Me too

[@lpn4375]

Thank you for sharing this I can relate.

[@Nicole-fl8gv]

@@lpn4375 it takes a lot to get over it. I went through the worst depression of my entire life. This was actually wrote one year ago. I changed my phone number. I have zero social media. And I’m also moving what he did to me I think was intentionally to break me. The physical pain was unbearable. I went through therapy and I went through a lot. I’m on antidepressants, but I will tell you it may have taken two years to recover fully and even though I did not see Hope a light at the end of the tunnel I do now. What I have learned is I seriously needed to love myself. Because if I had, I would’ve never been in a relationship with him in the first place or put up with any of the things that I had, I now know that and I have a better future ahead of me that he will never have the opportunity to be a part of!

[@Nicole-fl8gv]

@@lpn4375 I hope you heal soon and you never go through this pain ever again ❤️‍🩹🙏

[@painteddaisy6889]

Sexual abuse is also denying you or never touching you... he would rather choose self love... it's all about control.

[@fran791]

Maybe that's more emotional abuse. But it becomes sexual abuse when they touch you and expect you to always say yes to everything since they had been ignoring you and depriving you of attention. That silent treatment and manipulation quickly turns in sexual coercion to get anything they want

[@stevenhuckaby2902]

Women are the worst

[@reneebrown9451]

My ex likes to be in control the entire time! The same position for 10 years . Never a change. Very aggressive… sad

[@SlayerPrincess]

I don’t know if this fits what you’re describing but the first time I was at all intimate with my ex he convinced me to do oral on him and when it was done he made a joke about how he only had to think of a certain coworker to climax. That repulsed me and made me feel so worthless, like I was just a flesh robot for him to use and imagine someone else’s face on. Honestly I still struggle with how worthless and unwanted this experience made me feel. But the saddest part is I stayed with him for over a year after that because I had grown up with my self worth already so stomped down by my Dad I thought this is the best I could hope for. My ex and my Dad have never met and yet there is something so worthless about me they both picked up on it and exploited it to the fullest extent they could.

[@Unherd_Of]

They are both bad people

[@harleyfsbo3027]

@Slayer Princess - So sorry you had to go through this garbage. It usually starts with a rotten father who devalues you in some ways so that you either start ‘accepting’ that as ‘normal’ behavior or you feel forced to lower your standards because in your mind you are thinking ‘well if my own dad couldn’t treat me better than this then how can I expect someone else to treat me better & maybe this the best I can get’ - Hell has a special nook for these assh@les

[@oaw972]

😠😠😠

[@bernitacenteno1326]

None of us are WORTHLESS. BELIEVE THIS AND NOT THE WAY THEY TREATED YOU, BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO PROJECT THEIR WORTHLESS FEELINGS ABOUT THEMSELF ONTO YOU, AND ONTO ALL WOMEN, WHEN THEY ARE A NARCISSISTIC MALE. Danish, am I right ? I BELIEVE THIS AND I KNOW IT TO BE TRUE.

[@vmm5163]

I understand 100%. When my ex and I first went to bed he reached down afterwards and scrubbed all the moisture into my face. I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. He made it into a joke to get away with it. I should have just got my things and left, but I stayed with him a further 10 months. We live and learn.

[@renaewall4477]

You're perfectly describing my 27 marriage that is over! Wow! I HATED being intimate with the EX!

[@CK-wu9vd]

Makes my stomach turn just thinking about it.

[@junecleaver4099]

This is my ex down to a t !! 20 years I put up with this.Finally got out 6 months ago.You are so spot on in your videos.Thank you for the validation.

[@ladiebugs]

This is so true. It actually made my self esteem worse. I'm currently divorcing him.

[@mapleleaf902]

He wanted s3x on demand like I was a robot, no intimacy at all. I am so happy to not have to be intimate with him anymore.

[@edainari]

Bless this man for addressing what cannot be an easy subject to address, for his courage because I'm pretty sure in all his videos he is speaking from experience. That and his comment about the abuse being hard to identify because "it doesn't feel like it" is SO validating and applies to so many abusive scenarios

[@shecat1964]

When i think about what my husband convinced me to do in our relationship, makes me now want to vomit. I do not know that person i was then. I also stopped drinking because of it. I have not had a drink now in 10 years.

[@Unherd_Of]

This type behavior occurs when a person isolates you from their attention until its only abt sex

[@iamaleo247]

You said it perfectly.💯

[@Rueben7-q3r]

💯

[@lillyfox2537]

Oh god.

[@lionessroarsjohnson2684]

To do that to someone, hearing this makes me feel sick.

[@paulinamartinez3234]

Yes, but I am out of his abuse. He is so empty and miserable. I am happy now, he is not.

[@happym3008]

He only wanted sex when it got his needs to stroke his ego It will never be about the partner They see u as a tool

[@emilygray89]

For anyone watching…. It can be the exact opposite. They can find out what you love and then withhold anything that brings you joy or satisfaction!!! Be aware that it’s not always cookie cutter.

[@Nalot56]

This is EXACTLY what happened to me. My narcissistic ex knew she was hurting me and knew I was cautious, and yet uploaded intimate images and videos onto websites like OF and sold them without my consent. She knew I had fears of abandonment from childhood and a need to take care of loved ones, so she coerced me into group-sex scenarios in exchange for her acts of loyalty, and tried to convince me that they my participation was an intimate act of love. All the wile, it was just her breaking down my boundaries, degrading my reputation, and exerting control over me.

[@fran791]

It's very interesting to hear that this kind of sexual abuse is not a gendered thing and it happens to men too. You are safe and free now, you won and you kept your soul while they have sold it to feed their egos

[@Tyndalic]

My ex would whisper in my ear, “I know you’ve been with someone. It’s ok. I forgive you!’ That was so disturbing, because he insisted that it was true.

[@Melissa-lovinlife]

Sounds like he was telling on himself

[@bbdn5123]

Sounds horrific! So hard to follow intuition, sad reality. Take loving care of yourself the best way you can. If it's possible to get support from people you trust to help. ☝🏽🌌💖💫

[@caracopland710]

True. I flinch when I’m groped as I’m a survivor of sa in childhood and adult life. He did this for a ‘joke’ excessively. I later realised it was part of his persona and also ‘flashing’ for your shocked expressions. Some of them- particularly the elderly ones- find this amusing as they mimic the older now slightly illegal comedy that they viewed on tv in the 60’s and 70’s. Revolting. I ve now toughened up towards such but I’m triggered every few months by it. Your content is brilliance

[@Kimberly-iy3cl]

So true Exactly what my husband did for 18 years I would always think. Where is the person who touched me perfectly It was literally 1% of the time 99% hurting me purposefully I knew it but did not know it

[@madhumitanayar226]

And also withhold what you do like on purpose once they know that that’s what you like

[@Tend2Rose]

I can definitely relate to this. The more I didn’t want to do something that he wanted, he would accuse me of not loving him enough. Over time I felt I didn’t own my body. If I told him NO - there would be a tantrum, an argument. So I would end up giving in. Eventually I just felt used and disrespected and didn’t like intimacy with him. He killed my emotions for him.

[@psmith990]

Touching you at times that are inappropriate, then guilt tripping you and using your reaction to show how your neglecting them. My ex would do things as I was cutting up food and then say I was violent cause I had a knife in my hand as I got upset and told him to stop it. Be would bring that up, but never tell the thing he did and what I was involved in at that moment. Cause I can cut up chicken with a fucking spoon?? Being molested while actively cutting food is not "pulling a knife" is not threatening as he would state. That is how they use what they did as nothing wrong without telling the whole story. They need to do this so they look like the victim even though they do things at inappropriate times. So glad he is gone!!

[@psmith990]

This is reactive abuse and they weaponize your reaction to their degrading behaviors, thinking you should not stand up for yourself and allow them to do whatever they want while thinking they can shame you into giving in to them.

[@flamingfoxx]

I'm a child SA survivor, and my ex would guilt and emotionally blackmail me into sex. It got so bad that I started going into a state of dissociative psychosis for hours and days after he pushed me too far. I didn't remember much from it, I only knew about it because he showed me videos he had filmed (and sent to his friends) of me on the floor acting blackout drunk or high I was "depriving" him and "a prude" and "cutting me off cold turkey". I recognized how abusive that was and called him out on it, but always immediately retracted it because I was "overreacting" After three years, he ended up breaking up with me because we had fought about him filming his friend getting raped and showing it to me as a funny video Honestly, I'm glad he did. I never would have ended it. I haven't talked to him in over a year but I know if he hadn't broken up with me I would still be with him, no matter what he did. He emotionally abused me, took advantage of me, cheated on me, shamed me, tore down every ounce of self-respect I had, and I'd never have ended it. Because he was covert, it was gradual, abusers do not always abuse. In fact, many of them shower you with love in between their teardowns People show you who they are, believe them. Forget about the person they have the potential to be, and realize that they are only the person they are now. You deserve more, and it's hard, but it gets so much better after you can heal

[@-mushroom7757]

Mine slowly pressured me into doing all the things I specifically told him I wasn’t comfortable with. I ended up doing a lot of things I never wanted to do and I actually get flashbacks to violent moments. I want help but always felt like I didn’t deserve it because I technically agreed

[@thomasprice3706]

Just because you consented , doesn’t make it less painful for you. It is okay to feel the way you feel I promise and you are not wrong

[@barb7124]

My husband withdrew from sexual activity the last five years.

[@Discerning44]

How I connect with this and thank you for posting because there is very little on this particular topic. My ex tried to groom me into bringing other people into our marriage sexually, in sooo many ways. He also would video when I wasn’t aware, and sent these videos to me after we separated. He sent pics of me to people on Craigslist unbeknownst to me…. But this would often correlate with drinking binders and in between there was always this pushing on other boundaries that I felt I needed to cave on since I wasn’t willing to do the big ultimate thing he wanted… sex became something I had to mentally remove myself from to be able to engage in and it felt obsessive from him. We went to multiple therapist over the things that would go on and this messed with my head/heart/soul so much. I’m still very much trying to heal from this and wrap my head around actual intimacy going forward.

[@This_Planet]

Your analogy is precise and I enjoy your content because you know what you are saying. I can remember when I started off with the Narc and it made me always gave oral and would not return it. I started rebelling and I got it for 30 seconds to a minute. Then just jump on the pipe and forgot I wanted the favor to be returned. Then turned around and call me something degrading in our culture. To this day I can't see how I ended up doing anal. And even that it threaten to expose in anger. I am extremely against it but there was a time when vaginal sex was not an option and now I can see how the situation was controlled. I choose to not expose my gender because male or female narcissistic abuse is the same maybe worst when a female is the narcissist.

[@michaellendzian2655]

You are doing a fantastic job

[@jingerhaley5886]

Yes that’s what my ex did! Total narcissist when I am someone’s daughter ! They will burn for that

[@clearheart6444]

I wish the world knew how he actually is !

[@katherinefoster5659]

I was in that relationship with my ex husband for years. Ty.

[@cayotelives]

yes they don't respect your boundaries. I been with 3 toxic ladies. One would pull away all the time till you tired than she want make love. Second one take pictures when you don't like it. Third one shames you for using condom and don't want to use it. You tired you don't Want make love anymore with them even if they asked. They only want their ways. That's the interesting Part. You don't feel connection with them. Its very business like with them

[@karenk2409]

He did all that. It was horrible, and the aftermath is pretty much forever.

[@HIGHLANDER_ONLY_ONE]

❌️ My narc all of a sudden started to ask me to sleep with other men. One time I went to a business trip, a lnd he gave me condoms, abs coached me how to flirt. I was adraid he would hire some guy to come to our hotel room, when we traveled avroad. Of course i never did 😢❌️

[@thelightworker01]

He was very covert, I hated a certain position so that’s all he wanted it made me feel worthless as well. I never could communicate

[@Razainthewoods]

My narc ex husband withheld affection

[@katherinemccoy5376]

Has anyone every pressed charges and they stuck? My therapist really wants me to report my SA and r*pe at the hands of my ex narc but I am more than nervous to.

[@ashleeross6135]

I want to

[@janicebutz2344]

He abandoned me sexually. He had an affair for 16 years and I found out from the obituary. He was listed as her loving companion. She had cancer for 5 years. He was more cruel while he had her. Ladies, don't ask questions. You will regret it. Not related, he repeats everything I say like its his idea. He loves tragedies on FOX.

[@Notbothered1]

Mine used to say hurry up n orgasm 😂 well I never could cuz I didn't trust him.. n asked me everytime if I did orgasm bahahaha I should of told him no not once..

[@MC-cz5qd]

And this is the part of me that won’t heal. The rest of that relationship is “f*ck him” at this point. But I cant seem to get past the sexual abuse. The sheer rage and hatred I feel is overwhelming.

[@amybain9441]

Omg why is this so spot on

[@sharonengland8044]

Yes. Everyday. For years

[@AnK036]

Thank you soo much for your contents. Things that happened during 12.5 years staying with that person can’t explained well enough than this. All your contents or most of them say things that seem like stories I still cannot explain with my own words…

[@luvtwlit]

Ohh gosh! Just realised there's a thing as such what I'm going through right now! Even though my hard limits, sexual boundaries are wide extended now but it makes me feel worthless once I don't even receive a text for days and suddenly it pops up only on the day we're about to make a plan! 🙁🙁

[@CaitlinSalam]

What about not being in the mood to have sx but doing it cause your scared of his reaction if you say no?

[@lisagoode6888]

I can definitely agree with you're saying

[@pamelayoung3496]

I ain't doing S..t because they say so!! I am in control of who I AM!!.

[@prernaofficial2724]

Like my inlaws and narc husband does to me..

[@shewho333]

Me dying of the flu while taking care of twin preemie babies by myself and him demanding sex no matter how sick, depleted or exhausted I was.

[@klyetruman7285]

Yeah because you wouldn't allow him to have another woman. This is the issue with you monogamous women. You think a man is supposed to sit around and not have sex because you can't perform. If you can't have children he's supposed to go childless too huh? To hell with that abd you monogamous loving women. You were abusing him. Should've had another woman around to help you with the kids and help your husband release.

[@joannbyrd6324]

Duct tape them and then bring them to the wormdog camps to live out their days with each other.😁

[@Terri302]

That would fall under indirect control.

[@shamanmermaidblackdragon]

I agree thank you

[@tracynewton3083]

My ex would always want it just before we went out. Very strange that. I suppose he wouldn't have to be intimate after. Its crap with a narc anyway and they know it. 😁

[@ayeshajamil6023]

You are right

[@onelife7247]

These predators usually wind up inside the Ministry of Beheadings

[@johenderson7786]

Would a narcissist pull out just before he comes just to make you mad?

[@andreashinsg]

This is true..

[@pr9lxo]

this is so so so true.

[@NikD215]

Can you do a video on how hyper sexuality effects the children of narc parents?

[@michaelamiller2829]

What happened is that a person kept asking me to send Pictures of my Jerry malamute 's balls. I kept sending more and more pictures. Until, it got on my nerves And I said " enough." Then, I written email. So, I sent an email to the owner of the site with a complaint.😅😅😅😅

[@dawnfletcher9838]

Every word is true!!!

[@donnaholton1981]

Yes sir I was the one that would Initiate affection. it’s funny one day he was talking to one of his so-called friends that was a female had me on loudspeaker and said to her my wife is the one that approaches me with sex now that we’re divorced I thought that asshole is literally asking her to make a move on him.

[@dawnmarshall1290]

Thank you!

[@ailaz1]

So true 100%

[@carolynreed5620]

true

[@dmcsunshine1]

Yup

[@mohitgarhwal5049]

Can a narcissist mother sexually abused her own child?????

[@sheen621]

Unfortunately she can and she is a disgusting human being too if she hurts any child like that

[@mohitgarhwal5049]

@@sheen621 yes she is disgusting🤮.

[@boop8127]

Omg all true

[@harleyfsbo3027]

100% correct

[@Neemi030]

And asking for threeosmes roo

[@aliceidiculay1841]

100 %true

[@TrudeRygh]

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3,16 Jesus loves you ❤ You can have true peace in Him and healing in your heart, I have been healed inside :)

[@bluffkyle]

No. 70% is because whoever is being abused goes along with it. Once the years go by, the realize it was a mistake and now they are looking for somebody else to blame. Unfortunately every soccer mom or weeny dad wants to cry victim for their own weak and poor choices THEY made TOGETHER with the other person, and this takes the light off of the poor ppl who really are abused. I bet almost ALL of the ppl leaving their comments here were just in bad relationships that they decided.

[@harleyfsbo3027]

You are making it sound like they (the abused individuals) intentionally enjoy the abuse. That’s typically how Narcissists think. It’s called victim shaming. Has it ever occurred to you that there could be many reasons for staying trapped in an abusive relationship: children, finances, psychological confusion etc? Abusive relationships don’t start of that way. If they did & the INTENTION of a Narcissist was displayed on billboards for everyone to see then NO ONE would go near a Narcissist. Narcissists are deceivers & manipulators with no empathy for others. DECEPTION is a HUGE part of Narcissistic abuse ... ‘Come into my Parlor said the Spider to the Fly’ ...But let’s talk about you for a min since such a callous comment came from you. There are several possibilities why you would be having a hard time understanding and acknowledging the abuse perpetrated by a Narcissist, namely: - You have never been abused by a Narcissist - You are either a biological male or a woman with no children OR - You are very likely a Narcissist yourself, hence the instinctive denial, blame shifting and complete lack of empathy, that comes as 2nd nature to them. Your assumption is that these relationships can be avoided hence it must be the victim’s fault. You are also assuming that every single victim knows about Narcissism and can recognize all the signs & symptoms. Absolutely not the case. These barriers and defenses are broken down during the childhood of a victim making them vulnerable to Narcissistic Abuse later on. In addition there is something called ‘Coercive Control’ and if you don’t know what that is then it’s about time you read up on it (Invisible Chains by Lisa Fontes is a good one), along with other facts you are ‘assuming’ but don’t really know anything about.

[@semplybalanced3210]

Say You’re a narc rapist, without actually saying you’re a narc rapist, whydoncha ?

[@alchemizedsoul12]

so, which one are you?

[@KosmicN.]

You are really dumb, for real! -Antoine Dodson (voice)

[@bluffkyle]

@@alchemizedsoul12 Neither. Just the same as you most likely.

[@Glitteryflaps]

I have been made to feel like I’m not being SA’d