"Consume Social Constructs" | Late Night Tumblr Posts

[@cookiesandtea6442]

0:43 "Son, eat your social constructs, THEN you can have dessert!"

[@slamacat9866]

wait, is desert also a social construct?

[@nataterraturzelle8584]

@@slamacat9866 No, a desert is an area of land that undergoes little to no precipitation.

[@elijahpadilla5083]

@@slamacat9866 Did you mean: Wait, is *dessert* also a social construct?

[@No1AldamonFanGirl]

@@slamacat9866 In answer to your question instead of nitpicking your typo: No, dessert is a staple of life itself.

[@0100-u7k]

@@nataterraturzelle8584 I don't like sand

[@marxylpndm]

The fact that this community convinced someone to adopt a swan and then name it corn has made me probably the proudest I’ve ever been.

[@Ganurath]

If the accomplishments of others that you associate with are your greatest source of pride, you need greater accomplishments you can call your own. Gather what companions you would trust with your life, investigate what troubles befoul your land, and go forth on an adventure.

[@marxylpndm]

Ganurath Wow, I didn’t expect anything like this today. Thank you! I enjoy giving emotional support to others, especially those dear to me, and I always try hard to make them happy, but I have been learning to pay more attention to my own needs as well.

[@Rose-xe4ct]

Ganurath Oh my god.... this is like, something a wizard would say to an anime protagonist.... fukc im cryinf

[@phastinemoon]

It’s the most wholesome thing a discord server has ever convinced someone to do

[@redeye4516]

Is it too late to change the spelling to Khorne so you can yell "Blood for the Blood God" every day?

[@Madisongs]

I just told my mom “vegetables are a social construct” she said “ok”

[@pheonixofthesilvermoon8357]

I tried this and she was just silent. 😂

[@deefews1890]

"Ok zoomer"

[@Ray-hk1zm]

MY DAD LITERALLY SAID THE SAME THING W H A T .

[@liamfaoisidheold]

Mine said "what?!"

[@vulpin7150]

My mom just looked at me and sighed

[@softshrine]

I’m gonna write “vegetables are a social construct” in Arabic and then send it to my non-arabic friends and when they translate it I’m gonna give them no context and leave them on read

[@jazminrussell2679]

lol I'm gonna do the same her response: I'm sorry what? Vegetables are what?? XD

[@dusksunsetio6042]

DO IT LMAOOO

[@jjrulez1596]

4 months later, so how'd it go?

[@themostbritishpersonalive868]

Alright but what is it in Arabic

[@Termina_]

الخضار هي بناء اجتماعي

[@sagesaria]

"You're only a real fan if you run on electricity" Hand fans: Are we a joke to you

[@DisKorruptd]

yes

[@carolinelabbott2451]

Hand fans: Keeps you cool, effective shade, deadly weapon, and communication device. Electric fan: Keeps you cool, and noise maker.

[@jonical]

@@carolinelabbott2451 electric fan noise is oddly calming for me. Idk why

[@carolinelabbott2451]

@@jonical Some electric fans have a lovely soothing white noise hum, other electric fans sound worse than screeching cats. Depends on the fan. 🙂

[@lurkingmoth]

I think you mean: *Acoustic fan*

[@thefallen9805]

I love how seymour sounds both disappointed and proud of the fact that his discord got someone to get a swan named corn

[@creathechiboi]

If they say onii-chan, it’s never the wrong neighborhood

[@ultimateninjaboi]

We need to just set up a Little Tokyo somewhere in Alabama, and just put all yall there for quarantine. X3

[@phonetheory7056]

I hate that I got that joke.

[@itsmexoxurmom]

aaaaaaaaaa

[@bikeguyirl4443]

*a Lolli with a gun appears* "Put em up onii-chan! Keep em up to, or I'll blow your brains out all over the pavement like a wap dropping a pizza or an autist with spaghetti falling out of his pockets! *gets mugged and has nosebleed after glimcing pantsu when from being gun whipped to the ground* Ummm yeah... I guess it never is the wrong neighborhood uwu 😊🤗😉🤪 PANTSU

[@bikeguyirl4443]

I made my previous comment before seeing @1:44 annnd now I think that's all men dressed as Kuwaii lolis... I think this is the wrong neighborhood for me but, if you're into futanari then by all means FULL STEAM AHEAD

[@name-qs6cl]

“As long as I have flesh, I have a distraction” I have neither ADD nor ADHD, but this applies to me so much. Until the thing I’m focusing on isn’t productive.

[@TheUncouthGentleman]

Ah, welcome to the NearlADHDButNotQuite club.

[@ineedanewname4844]

Are you sure you you don’t have one of those

[@Endlessninja-ug5zy]

“Boy oh boy do these creases in my hand intercept at this certain point and then go slightly further” - me actively avoiding doing work I dislike

[@camerondon3712]

I have Autism and a similar thing happens to me. I wear a necklace that I chew on and a spinny ring that keep me distracted, but that wasn't their original purpose. It is now. I think you can get chewy necklaces for this purpose, but mine isn't that.

[@imjustverable3860]

Update: The horse and that hippo across the ocean are actually getting serious now, and the hospital concerns for the baby incubators.

[@alexandratrigg4778]

It's not the hippo this time, surprisingly

[@Invisible_b0nes]

THE HORSE HAS CAUSED WORLD WAR THREE

[@nikkospelledlikethat8140]

Alexandra Trigg I seriously doubt the hospital is worried about the babies. I don’t think they rather like them. (Unless you mean something totally different than I thought)

[@16Yashaluver]

John Mulaney started a meme. Think he's happy?

[@marshmallowallen5677]

This time it’s a rhino

[@0100-u7k]

Robert E.O. Speedwagon is not gay, instead you are gay because of Speedwagon

[@ClassifiedGamez]

Wut

[@kyrgyz136]

Yes

[@KaregoAt]

Why not both

[@ndt_dynamite2247]

I mean... maybe just a *tiny* bit

[@ericdinsmore1617]

Damn why you gotta call me out like that

[@danstiver9135]

Idk y but “lycansubscribe” really got me.

[@kawaiigamergirl4432]

Literally saw this and first thing that came to mind wuz Aaron Lycan XD

[@thetwilightgamer]

KawaiiGamer Girl YAS FELLOW POTATO

[@thetwilightgamer]

KawaiiGamer Girl and Aaron’s family’s last name is Lycan because another term for “werewolf” is “lycanthrope”

[@anharchyZZZ]

YESSSSS AARONS A SMEXY BOI

[@thetwilightgamer]

Wolf Plush :P XD

[@CrystalKitty1220]

Me seeing Warrior Cats names mentioned; *Weedwhisker agrees* *Mumblefoot agrees* *Loudbelly agrees* *Twigbranch also agrees*

[@kanniekosplayyes2799]

4:16 "The horse has been caught at last" Me: *instantly bursts out laughing remembering John Mulaney's story* xD

[@mikayladennis4837]

THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THE HORSE IS QUIET

[@PlagueDocAeneas]

Fun fact: Some years ago, the Supreme Court decided they have to legally settle the matter of wether or not a tomato was a fruit. They ended up ruling that while it was botanically a fruit, in the eyes of the law, it is a vegetable.

[@dovahkat9635]

What situation could possibly require the Supreme Court to decide if tomatoes were fruits or vegetables?!

[@PlagueDocAeneas]

@@dovahkat9635 i dunno but it must've been something real rotten for them to

[@AverageEldritchEntity]

Ah yes The fruits of the law.

[@securecontainpikachu6718]

@@AverageEldritchEntity *the vegetables of law... But "vegetable" is a social construct

[@thisisasupersayin376]

@@dovahkat9635 US was shipping tomatoes from elsewhere, vegetables are cheaper to ship than fruit.

[@littlepinktiger3891]

According to the warrior cat name generator my last name is Harefeather... I LOVE IT!

[@shaef8863]

Palehawk bih

[@tirrekbekirr3002]

best name

[@samdal420]

And mine is Duckleg... _nice_

[@bojrichel4474]

You may call me Pikepaw. **Knocks over your sword stand** We are allies now.

[@natalie6811]

2:22 Literally all I could think was “Sokka”

[@flawedosiria6181]

For me it's Deku, he knows not break his fucking arms but dammit did he break his god damn diddly arms all day

[@chimarajigsawlord]

For me its straight up Goggles Straight up squiddiot

[@dominic1730]

I thought Lance from Voltron.

[@No1AldamonFanGirl]

All I could think was, "Damn, called out again." :P

[@michaellevin664]

Marcus Damon in a nutshell

[@tsukiaquamooncat2041]

The ADHD post is so true. Literally, just give me a pen and a few minutes I'll have drawn all over myself.

[@LordOfTheTermites]

I don't have ADHD and i feel called out.Nice comment

[@helloimarabbit4083]

Same.

[@basketballaholic_5818]

I have a friend who has ADHD and the only thing she can concentrate on is my dog

[@squiggles6861]

i may or may not have undiagnosed ADHD and boy oh boy this becomes more and more true. i once pat my leg for nearly a solid ten minutes before my mom told me that it was annoying her and i needed to stop

[@phastinemoon]

Legit me every day in high school. I’d get questions like “ooh, is that henna on your hands?” And I’m just all “dude we had a video in history today, what else was I supposed to do?”

[@nicholasharvey7095]

5:04 dude that's literally your body saying "you're not high enough level for this yet"

[@AverageEldritchEntity]

*yo-kai watch war flashbacks*

[@airy214]

@@AverageEldritchEntity yo-kai watch :D

[@HaydenX]

My favorite "tomato" thing is a description for the difference between intellect and wisdom: Intellect is knowing that the classification for a tomato is "fruit". Wisdom is understanding that it's probably not a good idea to add a tomato to your fruit salad.

[@bones7330]

*mentions warrior cats* Me: *flashbacks to age 12* oh god

[@porchcollapse8612]

blueramblestoomuch ohgod *same*

[@pan.gremlin]

The year was 2017. I was in recess with my fellow warrior cats reader/best friend. We were the horse girls of our year, but with CATS. We ate the leaves off of bushes because they were the herbs our medicine cat gave us. We fought the imaginary badgers. We made an entire imaginary world around us. It was a dark, dark time. Sometimes i still bring it up just to see the war flashbacks enter my friend's mind.

[@WinterPains]

8 years old... never again.

[@williamhackett6583]

"Christmas Beetle" Ah, I see. The junebug wants a word.

[@zzdaweirdo1120]

They wouldn't fight or anything. They'd settle their differences over some cookies and milk.

[@AverageEldritchEntity]

@@zzdaweirdo1120 COPYRIGHT MILK

[@subparpeach4214]

The honest confusion and glee in Seymour's voice when he realized his discord server caused a swan to get adopted and be named corn

[@littleglassapple7887]

- me thinking about jojos beause I'm obsessed - - post about speedwagon comes up - - me thinking I'm god -

[@victorvirgili4447]

cause you are did you not know

[@slytherpuffsiceprincess4081]

I love the fact that they use in Lord of the Rings to describe a cold 😂

[@drumbhoohoo]

2:13 According to this description a spinning Roomba with knifes attached is indeed a fan

[@drumbhoohoo]

Dominique Byers The roomba is happy, it’s now your #1 fan

[@drumbhoohoo]

Dominique Byers Knifes are blades in the greaser community. Of course I mean oil grease.

[@drumbhoohoo]

Dominique Byers Blood is not grease. Skin oil is though.

[@thepyroghoul]

2:20 ahem: - bioelectricy - finger and toe nails - we can spin at a high enough velocity to induce vomiting, nausea, dizziness, and fainting Ergo, *I AM THE TRUE FAN*

[@AverageEldritchEntity]

Coffee is just a mobile charger...

[@thewanderer5506]

I love browsing someplace like r/Tumblr, seeing a post, and my immediate thought is, "I can't wait for PM to VO this, is gonna be epic"

[@biancabrooks280]

“As long as I have flesh, I have a distraction” .......nice.

[@Vikapediathat]

I’m a pied piper over Fire Emblem Three Houses but all I had to say was “there are gay people and you can marry them” and they ran over me.

[@spoopy3963]

3:44 for a moment i thought that they meant that instead of snowing, it rained beetles, and i was temporarily horrified

[@AverageEldritchEntity]

I bet that would BUG you.

[@broast6642]

If vegetables are social constructs.... What are fruits?

[@Koenna99]

Plant Ovaries

[@gameinsane4718]

We are VALID in 2020 thank you

[@flawedosiria6181]

If pence becomes president? in a camp

[@dominic1730]

Social economics.

[@elijahpadilla5083]

Technically speaking, a fruit is a buildup of sugars and/or starches that enclose seeds, in order to entice animals to do the hard work of spreading the seeds for the plant. By this technical definition, cucumbers and tomatoes are fruit, but strawberries are not (as the seed is not "enclosed").

[@348joey]

Scientific definition of vegetable: Roots, stems, or leaves. And yes, beans are their own group and tomatoes are fruits.

[@zach9940]

Wood is a vegetable?

[@TheBigEevee]

Zach only if you eat it.

[@348joey]

@@zach9940 Yeah

[@348joey]

@@TheBigEevee Beavers

[@kuroganekaze]

"If you don't have store-bought distractions, home-made are fine."

[@adierose0621]

The last one hit to close to home 😂 I will literally get distracted by biting my nails or the gems on my shirt. Like don't try me I will get distracted by anything

[@frog6992]

Did you know: yes

[@brieason]

Wow, I never knew that! Thank you!

[@bluemoonhub]

Thank you for telling this very important fact

[@AverageEldritchEntity]

ALSO did you know: *_W H A T_*

[@stephenbocknick4204]

One out of one experts agree this video is awesome

[@AverageEldritchEntity]

2/2

[@stuckonaslide]

that expert is me :)

[@infiniteplanes5775]

5/4

[@theypastel]

I legit got distracted by a TABLE at the end of the video and there was nothing special about it. I was just playing with the with the bump at the edge of it

[@Amalgam-01]

Y'all ever just walk into a wall but it was actually a door? Or your unable to word. I have problems.

[@No1AldamonFanGirl]

I walk into closed doors all the time. I get distracted easily and keep walking as I'm trying to open it, forgetting to pause, *then* open the door because something shiny out of the corner of my eye got my attention

[@oxybrightdark8765]

Nozomi Higurashi You are a video character

[@No1AldamonFanGirl]

@@oxybrightdark8765 I know. I've been told I'm a real life main character by many, many people. I wonder what my original universe was like, I'm clearly displaced from some game or show. :P

[@oxybrightdark8765]

Nozomi Higurashi I meant video games, and no, you’re a Bethesda npc

[@onesaltysardine3232]

6:09 As someone with ADD can confirm. Watching this instead of doing my schoolwork.

[@onesaltysardine3232]

Homework?

[@faatimaismail8856]

I love the perfectly cut scream it’s like part of my routine of watching videos

[@spider59er35]

He’s licking his lips He’s checking it twice With 5 minutes left On his microwave rice This guy’s cooking something, tonight

[@joshtr-sd3mr]

I have ADHD and I confirm that removing "all" distractions will not help entirely, the machinations of my mind will always be a distraction.

[@aregularperson7453]

1:45 _EVEN THE AD ON THE CEILING HAS ANIME GIRLS_

[@ghostgirl4443]

The voices and the accents is what makes this so different. And I absolutely love it.

[@Kay_213_]

If seals and geckos are cute with a big tummy, you are too!

[@blubirdspinkclouds7201]

2:02 I lost it when you said 'the fuck just happened', you sounded so confused but the audio clip was so quick

[@EmRose.r]

Someone without adhd: * distraction gets taken away * aw man, now I have to get my work done. Someone with adhd: * distraction gets taken away * * starts doodling on the paper *

[@lessevilnyarlathotep1595]

*zones out and stares at a blank wall for 2 hours. blinks back into reality. task still not done* Aw, godsdammit >:(

[@haveagoodmourning]

*dances along to song stuck in their head* *begins creating imaginary world* *analyzes scenes from a tv show* *stares at wall* *starts snapping fingers for 5 minutes straight* *oh hey what's that sound outside is that a bird? is that a mourning dove? no wait i think it's a robin. what are bird calls again?* *gets up and paces room repeately* *sings the same two notes of a tune over and over again* *starts doing jumping jacks* *starts rocking in seat* *picks at shirt* *fiddles with pencil*

[@infiniteplanes5775]

Writes half of paper in one session Gets up and goes to get a snack

[@cedartheyeah.justyeah.3967]

3:00 Again, in anođer universe, PINETREE WAS TESLA AT ONE POINT AND I SHALL ÞINK OF ĐAT WHENEVER ANYÞING BRINGS UP NIKOLA TESLA! AND Y'ALL CAN'T STOP ME!

[@Awesoman9001]

okay but that last one is way too accurate.

[@thatblooguy]

oh my goodness i did not expect you to be able to do that voice at "the vibening" teach me?

[@musicalwhimsy]

oh GOD the ADHD one is real "What do you mean I've spent four hours sitting on the toilet picking individual hairs out of my shins???"

[@zuke3438]

I have binged through most of Seymour’s stuff and he is now the voice in my head

[@dantesdiscoinfernolol]

1:00 Oh my gosh, someone put this into words. I have hated this for my whole life. Drives me nuts. AND 4:47 YES THIS IS ME EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT IS HARD

[@a-garden-of-worlds]

That last post was pulled straight from the core of my adhd soul.

[@smbeast7170]

5:30 Our power grows

[@jadonberg9364]

I never thought I'd see the day when Mount and Blade was mentioned on Tumblr

[@Mothman1992]

Wait. His name is Robert Eo speedwagon? I thought speedwagon was a heavy handed enough reference

[@salutationshaveyouheardoft4886]

reference to what?

[@Mothman1992]

@@salutationshaveyouheardoft4886 the same thing everone in Jojo is a reference to. Classic rock bands REO Speedwagon Ronnie James Dio Dire and Straits are dire straights Bruford and Tarkas are the most obscure references in the first season, but bill Bruford played drums for Yes and King Crimson While Tarkas is an Emerson, Lake, and Palmer album

[@salutationshaveyouheardoft4886]

@@Mothman1992 oh neat, i didnt know that

[@jennifercorbett8640]

@@salutationshaveyouheardoft4886 That's why they started with those shitty English localized names, so they didn't get sued by the bands that made the songs, though that doesn't stop them from making other musical references with said localizations.

[@77yvurc]

"I adopted a swan! I named him Corn!" Me-......you misspelled. Its *Korn*

[@AverageEldritchEntity]

How corny of them.

[@indigoon9635]

You misspelled. It’s Porn.

[@mbufton]

Khorne

[@77yvurc]

@@mbufton only if it goes on non-stop bouts of violence

[@mbufton]

@@77yvurc It's a swan, of course it's going to go on non-stop bouts of violence

[@cherrywoodstudios385]

With the Spouse post my name is “Ivystar”

[@emerygrey1582]

"As long as I have flesh, I have a distraction" Me: *is literally just picking at my skin during the silence* Uh,, mood

[@idonhaveanyideawhattocallm1472]

Hold on a second did I just see a JoJo reference

[@cjyay3449]

The JoJo fandom in a sentence (I don’t mean any offense)

[@jacenbush7185]

In some weird way EVERYTHING is a JoJo reference

[@KaregoAt]

@@jacenbush7185 even breathing

[@matt4280]

When i saw marine biologist i immediately thought of jotaro.. Help

[@jacenbush7185]

@@KaregoAt people in JoJo breath don't they

[@Ellie_R.]

2:35 spencer shay! Literally he said I may be an idiot but I’m not stupid... words I live by to this freaking day!

[@madisyngolab330]

I'm glad you were aware enough to remember to give us that sweet, sweet perfectly cut scream. I live for this shit

[@blossomvines341]

I thought it said Veggietales instead of vegetable

[@JadeJuno]

Veggietales is a social construct.

[@pastelbleu8504]

Veggietales is a social construct.

[@phoenix402]

Veggietales is a social construct.

[@lightofthefire8171]

Veggietales is a social construct

[@manatee4799]

Veggietales is a social construct

[@digishade7583]

3:57 some of those shiny Christmas beetles have huge pincers and despite this they do not bite you

[@irachan3978]

6:18 as a person with ADHD I died laughing

[@hyliasknight]

5:00 "Do you really have enough time in your life for X hours of this new TV show?"

[@Nex.the.Person]

No one: Seymour: um uh, AHhHH-

[@Vibes44463]

1:38 it's all fun and games until you're name is fidget-spinner, mountain-dew, or smoke-weed Edit: my dumb ass got the time wrong

[@justdecaffeinated]

"father is for emotional distance" I hate this

[@silentshadow3894]

6:13 but seriously it was a absolutely 100% worse trying to concentrate when I used to try and take away all distractions. That is when I discovered that the sound of my inner thoughts are sometimes amplified by the sound of a fan running.

[@ClassifiedGamez]

0:54 part 4 jotaro be like HMMMMMMMMMMM.......

[@lucifers.morningstar3805]

OK, that end sequence.... yeah.. completely true.

[@sydneys2859]

"I know you better than you know yourself" okay but... You don't know what kind of pads I wear?

[@sydneys2859]

@Dominique Byers then they know? You can't know someone better than they know themselves and not even know their basic hygiene

[@bbcarrioncrow]

The one about colds had me in TEARS!! that is the PERFECT USE of that particular LOTR quote I love it!!!

[@GreenEggsAndSam05]

2:31 And I’m watching BoJack Horseman right now....

[@chelsie1889]

Okay so I didn’t even see who made the video I just clicked but I instantly thought the voice was familiar next thing you know I was like, *tRaViS!*

[@AsrielDreemurr56]

1:00 Does this mean my nostril is Balin?

[@iris_drawssandwiches]

4:35 If you think about it you can also say bird flesh alchemist

[@dominic1730]

Ok, but that thing about ADHD is true.

[@Speederzzz]

As long as I think, there will be a trillion thoughts that will hinder me from my task at hand

[@spacetrainbaby3737]

Wait is speedwagon actually gay i tought he was just too cool for relationships

[@fatimaisra9143]

He IS too cool for relationships

[@VampireJester]

Oh god XD that ending though. I can't get enough of your perfectly cut screams lmao

[@esobelisk3110]

The horse is threatening to commit warcrimes.

[@AverageEldritchEntity]

I vote neigh

[@toomuchglitters7254]

3:28 sooo a homestuck

[@imacommenter1255]

4:22 Is that supposed to be referencing the John Mulaney skit or is it purely a coincidence?

[@SuperWarriorcatslove]

1:00 that needed men yelling and the sounds of swordfights in the bg

[@wilmeofficial]

Rober E.O. Speedwagon turns me gay. "Even Willerheim is gay!" said Speedwagon while moaning.

[@_ipjebi_]

3:33 OH MY GOD I LAUGHED TO THIS MORE THAN I SHOULD'VE

[@h3arthooni]

KZbin: 3 likes and 0 views Me: KZbin is drunk I repeat KZbin is drunk🍻🥂🍾🍻🥂🍾🍻🥂🍾🍻🥂🍾

[@AeronHale]

*Looks at knife collection* *Thinks about how the human body converts food to electricity* *Thinks the room spinning after drinking too much vodka* Guess I'm a true fan then.

[@boof606]

What is your time zone my dude it may look late but it’s only 6

[@pan.gremlin]

That last one tho... So- Oh sorry, what was i saying? I got distracting picking at a flaky bit of skin on my fing- OOH LOOK A PEICE OF LINT! Imma play with it!

[@sweetsongtalks]

The one dislike is someone from Australia trying to hit the like button

[@zerotsc3583]

6:10 fool, bones are my distraction, I love to hear them joints go *pop*

[@PrinceRandomness]

VEGETABLES ARE JUST FOOD THINGS! BUT HOW DOSE NONE REMEMBER THIS FROM 5 GRADE

[@lenes434]

5th grade was a social construct

[@PrinceRandomness]

@@lenes434 maybe

[@djgardawubz1278]

6:06 it's funny cause not only is it true I'm forced to live with that every moment of my miserable, aching life :,>

[@IamaPERSON]

Wanna talk about it? I want to make you feel better.

[@azazelvictorique]

No views, 1 comment that I cant see and 24 likes KZbin go home you're drunk

[@user-wz4zi9bf8l]

4:18 I actually thought it was John first, but then I realized what a good impression you did-

[@rolandcaters7258]

Forst

[@izzythetrashposter5710]

yes you actually are!!!!!

[@faatimaismail8856]

You misspelled forest

[@rolandcaters7258]

It was intentional